A/N: You can, uh… you can tell the fics that i like working on. 8,170 fucking words. Oh my god.
So this is Finkman (from Ep S1.11 "Jealousy") interacting w Auto, and Robot of course. I don't know when this one occurs in relation to the other ones. This one is probably really wordy and i uh um uh, yeah.
I'm sorry that Auto has become such a acteur, buuut i guess that comes w the territory of trying to be normal for "the humanssss." It might get confusing, but i'm gonna use masculine pronouns for Auto.
TW/CW: frustration, jealousy, aggression/pushing, anger, anxiety, nausea, guilt, friend obligation, confusion, crushes, coyness, acting, lying, trying to understand behaviors, phone calls, scheming/plotting, confrontation]
Robot Jones and Auto Maton are good friends, and like any friends, they share memories and things that they've learned with each other. Being robots, all of that information is stored electronically on disks and hard drives, so it was much easier to share and precisely recall events as they happened. The two would swap data disks and review them, then talk about the notable parts of the memories, like how certain classmates would act or why a piece of schoolwork was misunderstood. It was learning and bonding at the same time, and it was something that Auto loved to do with his best friend.
Auto was reading over some of Robot's data logs. He processed them all and made a copy of them for himself so that they'd be able to discuss the lessons whenever they had a chance. When he came across it, one specific entry stood out significantly and made absolutely no sense. It was a couple of sentences, and the word "FINKMAN" repeated very many times.
Auto blinked out of reading it. He shook his head and looked over to his partner. "Uh… hey RJ? What's 'Finkman???'"
Robot glanced over casually, but his whole body flinched when he heard the name. He grumbled aloud. "Oohhh, that's a greasy rotten android that came over from Austria as an 'exchange student' to study interfacing with American students. I hate him!!!" He assumed a grumpy expression all over his body.
Auto cocked his head. "They sent over a foreign exchange 'unit????'" He thought over how preposterous it seemed, and turned back to Robot. "Do you have any files on him that i can see???"
Robot huffed. "No. No copies, anyway. I want that memory to be overwritten as soon as it can be. I'd have done it myself by now, but i don't have access to my records like that. This file is not something worth holding on to."
"Oh, so it's just on your standard hard drive?"
"Yeah. There's no way that i'm gonna backup that transcript for later. It's such a pointless file." He grumbled in beeps and low tones.
Auto thought he looked very frustrated. He wanted to console his friend, but he also kind of wanted to know what happened with the visitor. "Could…. Could you show me the recording??" He asked sheepishly, a little bit frightened that it would further upset Robot.
Robot puffed out some air. "Pff, sure, why not. You can see what a son of a glitch he was firsthand. I know you'll agree with me about how awful that guy is!"
Auto smiled and nodded, sure that he really would agree with Robot, and happy that he was sharing something that he was keeping 'personal' with Auto. He watched his friend open his body compartment and pull out a data transfer cable, and Auto gushed to himself. It was just for sharing information, but being able to directly interface with his crush was a sure-file reason to celebrate for Auto.
Robot handed him the receiver. Auto took it and hungrily hooked it up to himself. Robot plugged in his side of the cable, and the data took only a few seconds to transfer.
Auto read through the whole thing carefully. He noted the things that the foreigner had said and done, and how rude he was to Robot. He saw that only girls and a couple of teachers seemed to like him, and grew puzzled about how he'd be considered 'more efficient' with that. He also saw how much of the information was centered around how this Finkman interacted with Shannon and how he got the credit for helping her grades that Robot rightfully deserved.
Auto shook his head to indicate that he watched the whole thing, and he made a disgusted noise. "Ew, that's really what it was like???"
Robot nodded, "yeah, it's awful, isn't it???!!"
Auto nodded. "Totally! What a brat that guy is! He acted like he was so big and owned the place when only about half the student population seemed to like him at all! I'd hardly consider that 'efficient interfacing!!'"
"Exactly!!! You can't say that you've interfaced successfully if only the girls like you! All of the guys at school hated him as much as i did!!"
"For good reason, it seems! That bot was a total jerk! He treated you so poorly, i wish i could give him a piece of my mind!!! He's got no reason to be so rude to people like that, especially when he's trying to interface with the humans here!"
"Absolutely!!! It was the worst having him here!!! I'm glad that he went back to where he came from!" Robot respired out, then smiled and put a hand on Auto's shoulder. "I knew you'd understand, Auto!! You get me better than anyone else can!"
Auto smiled wide at the sentiment. He always loved being touched and told that he was a good friend, and he loved it best from Robot. "Of course, RJ!! You know that i'm always on your side!!!"
They grinned at each other for a moment. Robot moved his hand from touching his shoulder to gently lifting the cable a little bit. "Was there anything else that you wanted to download from me???"
Auto blushed and reeled quickly. "Oh! Uh, no, not really! Unless you wanted to share anything… i'm fine, heheh…" He grinned nervously.
"Oh, okay. I just wanted to make sure." He reached for his end of the wire.
Before he could touch it, Auto hurriedly yanked his end from himself and held it out to Robot, blushing and trying to seem composed despite it. He was doing a very bad job, but Robot didn't really mind. He huffed out a laugh as he took the receiver and put the cable away.
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The boys had successfully completed another day of playing games and getting high scores at the arcade. Robot emerged first onto the sidewalk, proud of attaining the top rank in a few games. "Yes!!! I'm so psyched about those numbers!! Nobody is going to touch my score anytime soon!!!" He grinned wide and stood proudly.
His friends followed him out the door. They were all smiling and laughing along, happy that their cubic buddy was so joyous. "You did great, Robot!" "Yeah, you totally killed those games!!" "You're the man, RJ!!" "I'd dare anyone to try and beat those numbers!!"
Out of seemingly nowhere, Robot heard a tink against his lightbulb and was roughly pushed aside, making him almost lose his balance. He blinked reflexively, and when he opened his eyes, his friends were lost on the other side of a sea of girls that were all walking in the same direction and giggling aloud.
His friends were just as surprised as he was. "Oh no, RJ!!!" The four of them could do nothing as the group of tweens passed by them, and Auto was particularly concerned about him. He tried to peek through the gaps of the kids.
When they all passed, Cubey asked, "dude!! What was THAT about?!" They all approached him.
"Are you okay, RJ???" Auto glanced over all of him, hoping to not find any scratches or dents on his friend.
Robot watched the girls get farther and farther away. "I'm fine. But that was very odd."
"What d'ya think they're doing??"
Socks got nervous out of nowhere. "Dude, do you think they've been brainwashed and are all zombies trying to steal our sports?!" They all looked at him blankly.
"Whatever it is, it looks like it's got at all of the girls in our class!" Mitch pointed out.
Auto cringed. "Oooh, that's rough on you guys. I hope it's nothing serious." He also hoped that it wouldn't extend itself to the girls that went to his own school.
"Who knows! Girls are so WEIRD!!!" They all reeled in shared disgust.
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By the next day, the mystery of the strange behavior was well solved, much to the dismay of the entire male portion of the Polyneux student body. The metallic bane of their collective existence had resurfaced from his swampy European home and came back to reclaim all he had left behind a year prior.
Finkman.
The girls didn't mind, of course. They were all very excited to see that he was back in town. There were so many more things to talk about since he left, and so many more things to do with him while they had him. They were all over him, and it was frustrating for all of the boys, even the ones with no interest in girls at all.
Auto heard all about it. If any detail was skipped by Cubey, it was picked up by Mitch. If he missed anything, then Socks recounted it. And every last little bit of detail in between was torn to shreds by Robot. No rock was left unturned in their stories, and Auto was there to be the wall that they complained to. Always listening, never able to get a word in, and not having much to go on beside what they said. But he listened anyway because that's what a good friend is supposed to do.
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Auto found himself returning home from spending much of the afternoon at Robot's house. He felt stressed because of how badly everything was affecting Robot, and how he was near completely unable to do anything to help. He was replaying some of the complaints that Robot had as he walked when he spied the very source of the problem across the street.
It was Finkman himself, alone for once! It was almost like seeing a different robot when he wasn't surrounded by girls. Auto almost didn't recognize him at first because of it.
He didn't think about going over before he did. He figured that this specific interaction would best be used to lay a baseline for anything else that might happen between them, and that thinking about it would probably sway his behavior in one way or another. Auto approached Finkman.
"Um. Hello, Finkman!" He turned to face Auto waving at him. "I'm happy that i can finally meet you!"
Finkman scanned Auto up and down with an unamused expression on his face. "Another robot, i see. And with another unoriginal design. I'm surprised that this little American town has so many androids in it."
Auto blinked. "Uhuh. I'm sorry, i didn't get to design myself. I, uh… wasn't exactly modeled to look like a metalic human." He spoke without attitude, in his tone or intention.
Finkman registered it himself. He raised an eyebrow. "...Touché." Auto made a robotic sound. "So then, what is it that you do, hmm??" He folded his arms.
"Oh, i'm, uh… i'm like you and Robot Jones, i guess. A research unit studying middle school humans. I… go to a different school than you two." Auto tried to distinguish important details from extraneous information. "Oh! My name is Auto Maton. I was independently created, not like from a factory or anything."
Finkman examined him again. "'Independently created…' No wonder i didn't recognize your mechanics, Auto Maton. Very interesting processors you have."
Auto cocked his head a tiny bit. "... Um, thank you." He paused. "I-i heard that you were a similar model to Robot. You certainly don't look similar. I have wondered about the things that separate you two, as well as some of the Austrian data that you must have. I'd love to get together sometime and talk about things." He tried to be somewhat mechanical and somewhat friendly, still unsure what kind of approach would work best on him.
Finkman tilted his head. "You're friends with Robot Jones, i see."
Auto felt surprised. He didn't want opinions swayed. "Um… yes, i know him. I, um… i don't mean to try to get in your way. Like i said, i go to a different school, so you don't have to worry about any integration competition with me, heh…"
Finkman gave him another look. "I see. Well, perhaps it is time that you interface with an improved model, hmm???"
Auto's eyes got wide. "Uhhh… yeah. I guess so." He dodged his vision to the ground. "I don't want to impose or anything. I'd be open to hearing when you'd be available for these things. You can contact me at a convenience and we can talk then, if that sounds okay to you."
Finkman smirked. "Certainly! I look forward to speaking with you again, Auto Maton." Auto felt awkward as they exchanged contact information.
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Auto had another couple of days to pack him with complaints of the foreign machinery before he actually received a call. Auto was growing tired of just hearing about him and not having a chance to decide for himself, so he was glad that they could actually meet in person. Auto was going to try his best to use the recountings as only possibilities of how this could go, and not a rubric on how to interpret the interaction. At least, he hoped it would work out that way.
As was usual for him, he arrived at the agreed location before he was expected to be there. He always had to wait on others, and very very many times it would turn out for nothing because people would set him up to leave him somewhere. Being stood up so many times should have taught him not to do this kind of thing anymore, especially for a stranger: but he figured that any information that he gathered on his own would be worth it.
Auto waited for about an hour and a half past the agreed time before he saw that Finkman was actually coming through. It was shorter than he was expecting to wait for him, given how popular people seemed to always be fashionably late in tv and movies. Auto waited until he got closer to stand up, in case Finkman had decided against meeting or had 'forgotten' that he agreed to this. "Hello!"
Finkman smirked at him and nodded his head. "Hello again, Auto Maton." He motioned his head again to suggest that they keep walking through the park, and Auto silently agreed.
"You could just call me 'Auto' if you wanted to."
"Oh, 'Awtoh,' like 'automatic.' Not 'Awta' like 'automaton.' Tell me, what is the purpose of the difference in pronunciation???"
"It's an easier way for people to say it. They like things to be easy. I think i like how 'Awtoh' sounds better. My… creators call me by my full name."
"The independent researchers."
Auto never expected people to remember details about him anymore, and he was a little surprised that Finkman had. "Yes…"
"So, what kinds of things do they study then???"
Auto tried to keep answers brief. "Technology. Robotics. Children. That kind of stuff." He looked at Finkman. "The same kinds of things i would assume of your creators."
Finkman was expressing mostly with his eyes and tone of voice. "There is an English language saying about making assumptions."
Auto wasn't too sure if that was supposed to be part of his 'humor programming.' He smiled and glanced away. "Uhuh, that's true.. " Auto had seen in Robot's recordings that Finkman had apparently been sent to the States partially in order to steal information, so he tried not to overshare.
"Well then, Auto Maton, how else are you doing???"
"I'm fine… Uh, how are you doing? How is it coming back to the US after such a while??"
Finkman paused and scanned him over again from the side of his eye. "He's talked a lot about me, has he?"
Auto answered before thinking. "Huh, who??" After a moment, he knew the actual answer, but not how to say it. "Oh, um…" He obviously couldn't tell the truth. "I wouldn't say 'a lot.' I just heard the basics about you, really. Like how you're a JNZ lab's KX8 from Austria that was a transfer student at Polyneux at some point last school year. That's about all that i know."
"Well, that seems like rather intimate details! You know my model number and everything." He leaned his face towards Auto. "All i know about you is that you're an independently created research unit that doesn't go to Polyneux and is friends with Robot Jones. I couldn't even say for certain that you're from this country, and yet you know so much about me. Why don't we try to change that???" He grinned.
Auto figured that the smile was supposed to look charming to humans. That kind of thing always made Auto feel uncomfortable. He looked away. "I-i'm just shy is all. Please don't take it personally."
"What do you have to be shy about, Auto Maton??? You're such an interesting device with a great personality and a cute face. You should be sharing it with all of the world."
Auto was almost confused by the way he was talking to him. Being as he was, he couldn't comprehend it as being anything genuine. If anything, it must be part of his programming that helped him interface so well with people. If that were the case, then that kind of personality must either only be used on girls, or only work on them. Auto knew that boys liked to be gassed up like that too, and that not all humans were able to tell genuine sentiment from manipulative behavior; so it should work on them if he ever used it on boys too. The fact that it didn't would mean that he only ever talked to girls like this. Auto wondered why he was receiving this treatment as well.
That was all thought about in roughly three seconds. Auto responded. "I'm not very good at interfacing with humans. They don't really like me." What would trying to gas up Finkman do?? "I can imagine that almost everyone that you interact with likes you."
"Many seem to. But not everyone." Finkman stepped to be in front of Auto, facing him. He made a flirty face. "How do YOU feel about me."
Auto was surprised at the movement. He shrunk his head back, and glanced from side to side. "Um!..." He was really unsure of the kind of response that would be best. "Yeah, you're okay. You're nicer to me than most people that i know."
"Only 'okaaay???' Because i like yooouu."
Was Auto being tested right now??? "Oh. Thank you, i'm glad. I don't get that often."
Finkman fell back beside him. "That's a shame. Anybody that can't see how wonderful you are is really missing out."
Auto stayed quiet. He didn't like when people teased him like that, and he was almost sure that was what Finkman was doing right now. His tone didn't say it outright, but Auto had been around that block a few times before.
"This place is fine. I'm from a regular city in Austria. Not a large city, but it is much bigger than this town. There are many more students at that school than at Polyneux."
"I would hate going to a larger school."
"There are more research units there than there are here. There are more robots in general where i am from. But i must say, there are many more here than i would have expected there to be."
"Yeah, there's a JNZ factory not too far from here. I like that i see robots around here sometimes because it makes me feel less alone. Even the ones that can't talk and think and move like we do: i'd be happy seeing a robotic vacuum cleaner, honestly."
"Hmm. I suppose that would make sense, if people really do dismiss you as you say. Who would have thought that robots such as us reflect humanity so much as to desire others like us???"
Auto thought that was very well observed and said. He hadn't expected that from Finkman. "That's a very good point. I wonder if it's programmed in us, or if we download it from being around them so much. Perhaps it's different for all of us."
"I believe that it must be an individual aspect. Even with all of the robots that i know, not many mention these kinds of things. I don't see very many interacting with one another for extended periods of time unless they work together."
Auto asked sheepishly. "Do you have any robot friends back home???"
"Not really. I interface with a few in the lab that i live at, but i would not consider them friends."
"I understand. I interface with two others daily. I consider them my siblings, as we all have the same creators and live in the same place."
Finkman hummed in thought. "Yes, perhaps that sort of humanity is programmed. I would not consider another robot as a sibling, even though many are made in the same way that i am from the same laboratory."
"Hmm. I see. I must have some very different programming in order to be able to feel those things. I think i might be more sensitive than my siblings, because i was developed first and they seem to have a better grip of those things."
"I would not see it as a fault, Auto Maton. That humanity is very endearing to people."
"Heh. Well, they must not see it that way. I think they must think that i'm uncanny, if not just… awful to be around because of it." They glanced at each other. "They really don't like me."
"It's such a shame. That programming of yours is incredibly advanced. I find myself more and more impressed as you go on."
Auto felt sad. He wasn't sure if he wanted those words to be as reassuring as they felt, because he had an inkling that they weren't genuine. "I think i want to go home now…" He looked at Finkman. "I hope that's okay. I had fun with you, i would like to do this again sometime."
"If that is what you want. I will call you again soon, Auto Maton. Have a beautiful evening, my friend."
Auto felt like his components were getting gunky in his chassis. "You too, Finkman." He turned to walk back home.
"I will tell Robot Jones that you said 'hello.'"
Auto paused for a moment, but continued on without a word. He slowly made his way back home, thinking about a lot of things all along the way, not the least of which was Robot Jones. Auto was concerned with how he would take that he was talking to Finkman, and that he had done so without consulting him first. He was worried about the things that Finkman would say when he next saw Robot. And he was worried about where his relationships would stand after all of this came out. Auto made a decision.
He came home to casual greetings from his family. His little sister asked him about where he went, but he didn't give her many details. He was anxious about what he had to do next, which was call Robot and tell him everything.
He picked up after only a couple of rings. "Hello Auto! Is everything alright??"
Auto fidgeted on his end. "Yeah, everything's alright, RJ… L-listen, i gotta tell you something…"
"Sure, anything." He sounded attentive.
Auto's components felt gunky again. "I… i talked to Finkman today…"
"Oh…" It was impossible to tell what kind of an 'oh' that was from this side of the line.
"I-it wasn't anything serious. I-i just wanted to meet him. I…" Auto respired. "I wanted to know what he was like in person."
"Did he do something to you?? Are you okay???" Robot sounded concerned.
"I'm fine. He didn't hurt me at all."
"Oh, good." Robot respired. "I would have recycled him if he did."
Auto's hard drive wanted to skip. "Thank you, RJ. I… i really appreciate it."
"Of course, Auto!!"
He paused. "I just wanted to let you know. I'm sorry that i went behind your back to do it. I felt so guilty about not telling you, but i wanted to find out what he was like on my own."
"That's fine, Auto. You're allowed to do things without my permission, you know."
"... I know… i just didn't want him telling you before i did. I don't know what he would say about it when he saw you tomorrow."
"It's okay, Auto. You know that i trust you more than anyone. There's nothing that he could say that would change that."
Auto's chassis ached. "I felt disingenuous. I needed to tell you."
"Why? You didn't say anything about me, did you???"
"No, of course not. He thinks that you and i are friends, but i never said that we are. I didn't want his first impression of me to be swayed."
"I see."
"I tried to be vague. I didn't give in to his prying. He said that i knew more about him than he knew of me," Auto huffed out a smile; "which i guess is true."
"In a manner of speaking." He smiled back. "What else did you talk about???"
Auto thought about it. "I found out that he's from a city with a lot of robots. He apparently lives in a lab with some, and his school has a few units that study kids too."
"Interesting. I wonder why he's still so full of himself…"
Auto considered how to phrase things. "I guess that's another thing. I kind of got introspective there. We talked about people not liking me. But he took it really strangely. I think i might understand why some people like him, but i'm still unsure of why he doesn't act that way with everyone. I'll play it for you tomorrow so you can see what i mean."
"I look forward to seeing it! Anything that helps me understand why this oddball is such a jerk is worth studying."
Auto considered. "Yeah, it is…" He sighed. "Thank you, RJ. I feel a lot better now that i told you about this. I'm very happy that you're not mad at me for doing this."
"Of course, Auto! You worry so much. I want you to know that you and i will always be friends."
Auto smiled genuinely. "Thank you, RJ. There will never be anyone more important to me than you are."
Robot smiled back. "I'll see you tomorrow. Recharge well, okay?"
Auto nodded. "Okay. Recharge well." He hung up the phone when he heard the line cut off. He felt relieved from all of those things, especially since Robot took them much easier than he was fearing he would.
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In actuality, it did upset Robot that Auto was talking with Finkman. He wasn't upset at Auto: he was upset that Finkman felt that this foreign town was all his to explore. It made him wonder how he would interact with his parents, and his ideas made him even angrier. He couldn't put together how he would react to it and keep to the robot code, but he knew he wouldn't even want to try.
Robot told his friends that Auto and Finkman were talking. They were all surprised, and asked many of the same questions that Auto had answered. Some Robot couldn't say for certain, not yet. He assured them that he was going to review the interaction later and report back. Until then, Robot had a whole school day of dealing with Finkman ahead of him.
At some point, Finkman found Robot alone in an empty hallway. He had forgotten something in his locker, and Finkman excused himself from his own class to confront him.
"Robot Jonesss." He felt small as Finkman glared down at him. "You know, there is an English language saying about 'loose lips…'"
He frowned. "We don't have lips, Finkman."
"I met your little friend yesterday. Actually, it was the second time we had talked. He certainly is a unique one, that Auto Maton."
"I had better not find out that you were rude to him, Finkman. Or else we will have very many more issues than we do already."
"That's so interesting that you say that. Because from the look of it, you don't seem to be treating him too well. He told me all about how lonely he felt, and he barely mentioned you at all in fact."
"Well, i talked to him after you did, and he was not feeling too happy at all after the encounter. I had to cheer him up from whatever it was that you said to him."
Finkman paused. "Perhaps he just felt guilty. He seems to lack confidence. I certainly tried to improve those conditions…" Finkman leaned in towards Robot's face. "In more ways than ooonne."
Robot scanned him for a moment. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that Auto Maton is a VERY friendly unit. Let's just say… perhaps it's not just these school girls that find me… magnetic." His smirk must have tasted disgusting. He turned and started to walk away. "But maybe discussing those things is beyond your friendship level. Not everyone likes to 'kiss and tell.'"
Robot felt his components running hot in his chassis, and he felt steam coming off of himself. He knew Auto well, and he knew the way that Auto would have responded to the kinds of things that Finkman did. He was confident that he was lying about his friend, and it made him furious that he would try to do that. This wasn't just some passive jealousy that was making him hate Finkman anymore: this was knowledge that he was actively being malicious.
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"Auto, you are not going to believe what Finkman said about your interaction yesterday!!!" Robot stomped towards his waiting friend.
Auto was surprised and anxious. "Oh! W-what did he say???" He fidgeted.
They looked at each other. "He implied so many things that i know are untrue! He said that i wasn't a good friend to you, he said that he tried to make you feel more confident; he even implied that you two kissed!!!"
"KISSED??!!!" Auto optics bugged. "That never happened!!! I would never kiss him!!!"
Robot nodded. "I know you wouldn't!!! I couldn't believe that he would say something like that!!! This just proves that there are real reasons to hate him!!"
Auto nodded quickly, still stunned by the thought. "He really is a menace! I-i-i would have never thought he'd try to do something like that! We don't even know each other!!!"
Robot was pulling his cable from his compartment and plugging in his side. "This is unbelievable! He's just lying completely! I'm going to show you what he said to me, too." He handed the receiver to Auto.
"Please do! I can't… even comprehend someone doing that! About me!!! Who even am i to him?!" He plugged in his side and transfered the file.
Robot reviewed the recording. He became visibly angry every time Finkman was getting bold with Auto. "That RAT!!!" He seethed. "I can't believe he spoke to you like that!!! He's clearly just trying to get information out of you!!!"
Auto nodded meekly. "I thought he was, which is why i tried not to say too much."
"It's good that you didn't! I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to weasel his way into meeting your parents to steal the data they've collected right from their own hands! You can't let him do that, Auto!!!"
"I would never let him do that, RJ! I don't think i ever want to see him again!"
He huffed. "It's a good thing you didn't tell him that we are so close: i can't imagine the kinds of things he would have said to you if he had known."
Auto fidgetted. It seemed like that wasn't exactly a secret if their interaction went the way that Robot said it had. "C-could i see your recording???"
"Yeah, of course." Robot sent over the file, and Auto carefully studied it.
He considered it, and decided to think out loud about it. "I think he's trying to be manipulative. The way that he talked to me… i can imagine that's how he talks to girls to get them to like him. I've had it like that before when people wanted me to share homework and test answers with them, so i can recognize it right away. It's a lack of enthusiasm, a set of empty compliments that's supposed to say 'you can trust me.'"
"That's exactly what it is. I've had it before, too…" Robot thought about his experiences. "But people have to see that's what he's doing!!"
Auto made a doubtful face. "Not if they don't want to. People can be easy to guide if they're told the right thing. They just have to believe a little bit for the nice things to become what they think is truly felt by the manipulator." He shook his head. "My only hangup is why it only works on the girls at your school. I've seen just as many boys fall for that kind of thing that he's doing. There's no way that all of them would be able to see that about him and not call him out on it…"
"He doesn't seem to talk to boys all too often. None of them like him enough to give him a chance. Which, huh, he clearly doesn't deserve."
"It's just weird… even if it's something only visual design deep, you would think that his creators would have him programmed to treat all humans this way."
Robot thought about the conversations he had with Finkman from his first time in the states. "He's never talked to me with that kind of manipulative tone. Could it be that he's unable to speak to other robots like that???"
Autl shook his head. "No, it can't be. He spoke to me as he does to the girls in your school. I'm neither a human girl, nor do i go to your school, and i am a robot."
Robot paused. "Could it be because you're not a JNZ bot??? Maybe he just treats me this way because i'm adjacent to him. Maybe that's why he doesn't connect to the other robots he's around."
Auto considered the artificial parts of his own family, and how Robot had models that he interfaced with daily that he considered his parents. Finkman didn't have any kind of connections with the robots around him, and neither did they apparently. But that still didn't explain why he spoke to Auto in that manner. "I don't know. He knows that i'm a robot. He's even mentioned my processors, so he knows that i'm not a human. I would imagine that his programming would separate behaviors between organic and inorganic, if this were the case. But he doesn't split it like that: he splits it into male and female…"
Robot put two and two together. "Could it be because he sees you as a girl???"
"But i'm not a girl! And you're not a boy, so it can't be that."
Robot thought. While it might not be the actual reason, it was the only thing that was making sense. "Hmm, unless he just applies that to the robots that he talks to. Maybe he sees most of them as male, and that's why he can't connect with them…"
"That does make sense…" Auto tapped his cheek. "I feel like we would need further tests for that, but there is no way i'm bringing my siblings into this!"
"Nor my parents." Auto nodded in agreement. "Huhh, we may just have to deal with this how it lies right now, then. I don't see how we would be able to get different behavior out of him."
Auto fidgetted. He didn't want to have to do this. "M-maybe if i treat him differently…" He looked right at Robot. "But i don't want to see him again if i don't have to!"
"I know, Auto. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to. He isn't worth even this amount of thought." He rolled his eyes in frustration.
Auto considered something. He wasn't sure if it would work, or if it would be worth doing at all. He was very worried that it would cause more problems for Robot than he already had. He suggested it anyway. "What if we confronted him together??? If he really sees me as a girl, and he really sees you as a boy, and we're both on the same side, then we can say for certain that this is just manipulative behavior and let everyone know." They looked at each other. "The only other times you've talked to him at the same time as a girl was when they were on his side. This gives only as fair an assessment as that does, but neither of us would be able to get something concrete alone."
Robot thought about it. Auto would be able to get Finkman to act manipulatively like they needed, and he could probably get new behavior from acting differently after that. Robot thought it could actually work, but he didn't want Auto to be uncomfortable. "Maybe… maybe you could approach him first, get him to treat you like a girl, and then i come in after that so we can show the different behaviors from two separate viewpoints. It wouldn't be as obvious as us both going in at the same time. And, we do need to make sure that he treats you the way that he did, or else this won't mean anything."
Auto felt gunky again. He took a moment to try and get over it because he knew that he needed to help Robot. "If you think that will work…" They locked eyes. "Then i'll do it."
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Auto felt disgusting. He stood there waiting with all of the thoughts in his head swirling around about how uncomfortable this was going to be, but he knew that he needed to do it for Robot. The words rang again. "Remember, Auto: we just need him to treat you like how he treats girls."
He sighed. "I know, RJ. I'm sure that part won't be an issue." He radioed his friend, who was hiding in a bush somewhere not too far away. It was important that Finkman did not see that Robot was here, so they just spoke on their internal walkie-talkies.
"Try not to worry about anything else. You know that i'm right here for you. We're going to do this together."
Auto thought about the phone conversation again. ("Hello, Finkman??? It's Auto. I'm sorry if i'm calling at an inconvenient time."
"Ah, Auto Maton! It is no problem, the time that you are calling. What is it that i can do for you, my friend??"
Auto's mechanics were sluggish from all of the gunk that this produced. He tried to pretend so that it would sound convincing. "Would you be able to meet in person again sometime??? I would really really like to see you again before you leave for home…"
"Hmm! Well, i think that can be arranged. I had a feeling that you would want to meet me again. I'm glad i was right."
Auto felt like he would throw up. He did his best to compose himself so that he could convincingly respond. "Oh, g…good. I c-can't wait. When are you available???")
The feelings were very visceral for a completely artificial being. He could put himself back at that call, and he could remember how he felt with their first two interactions. The thing about this was that he could not let any of it show. He needed to be cordial and nice to Finkman so that he would act the way that Robot needed him to. He just really, really, REALLY hoped that Finkman wasn't going to be so creepy: but he knew that wasn't going to happen.
"Oh, target spotted at 5 o'clock. Here he comes. Auto. You've got this." His components dropped in his chassis and dread washed over him.
Finkman walked casually along the sidewalk, spotting Auto in the same place they had met before. "Ah, there is my favorite American machine! How are you doing, my friend?"
Auto waved and tried to smile. "I'm good. Thank you for seeing me again."
"Of course. I would have been disappointed if we had not gotten the chance." He smiled.
Auto walked beside him. He spoke meekly. "I would have, too. I…" It was difficult to say. "Really like talking with you."
Finkman smirked. "And i with you, Auto Maton."
Auto respired to get his fans to calm down. "How have you been? Have you been able to do everything you wanted to while you're here???"
"Not everything. There are still a few things i would like to experience before i must go back to Austria." He sighed. "But, school must come first."
Auto shook his head. "School can be such a drag…" He turned to him. "What kind of things did you want to do in America???"
"Even just the United States has such a wide variety of environments. This deciduous area is nice, but i would like to see mountains and deserts and beaches. I have also never been to environments like the large cities here. Have you ever been to New York City???"
"My mom is from New York City, but i don't know if they would ever let me and my siblings visit." That was actually true.
Finkman made a confused face. "'Mom???' You have a mother???"
"Ohohoh!!!" Auto grinned nervously. "I mean one of my creators. I, um… call them my parents."
Finkman grinned. "That humanity of yours, Auto Maton. Your programming is so incredible. It's very cute."
Auto made some tones to try and pretend he was happy. "Th-thank you, Finkman."
"It's true Auto. You really are an amazing piece of technology." He leaned towards him.
Auto glanced away, seemingly bashfully. "Heheh, you flatter me. Um, what other kinds of things did you want to do in the States???"
"Oh, a feeeeew. A couple of them i would be able to do here in town, actually." He smirked.
Auto almost couldn't control his face. His components were completely gunky. "O-oh. W-well, i hope you get the chance to. I-if not, you could always come back someday."
Finkman nodded. "That is true. But why wait if i don't have to??"
Auto was feeling heavy dread. "I… sometimes hesitate too much."
"It seems like you would, Auto. You seem very anxious. I hope that you will be able to… relax some day."
He answered honestly. "I appreciate the sentiment."
"But, as i AM here, and because you are with me…" Finkman turned to Auto and made a flirty face. "Would you accompany me in 'doing' some of those things now???"
Auto tensed up hard, but he couldn't stop his face from blushing. It was absolutely not what he wanted right now. He started beeping quickly, a coded message for somebody else. "Um!!! I-i-i don't know. I k-kind of like to know plans before i d-decide on them."
Finkman took a step toward to him. "Come on, Auto. It will be just you and i. It doesn't have to be anything complicated." He grinned and leaned nearer.
Auto beeped louder, hoping that he would be heard. He cowered away. "I'm not sure, Finkman. I-i-i'm a little…"
He smiled sweetly. "You don't have to be worried. I'm going to take good care of you, Auto. Very good care of you." Finkman had Auto backed against a tree.
Auto was panicking. He tried to glance around for an out while he kept his eyes on Finkman in fright. His chassis wirred very hard and he was beeping as quickly and as loudly as he could. He was terrified that he was about to do something absolutely horrible.
"Get away from him, you CREEP!!!" Finkman was shoved away hard by some tiny pile of raging metal. He stood firm between them, shielding off his friend.
Auto had to catch his breath. "RJ!!!" He noticed that Jones was covered in leaves and grass stains and had pieces of twigs wedged in between his sheets of metal.
"Sorry i'm late, Auto. I got tangled up." He kept his optics on Finkman, who was picking himself up.
"Robot Jonesss." He growled low. "Your outdated hardware must keep a few wires loose for you to go against code."
Robot huffed a tone. "I've got bigger fish to fry than some dumb code, Stinkman."
"Noted." He shook his head. "You are such a jealous little unit, aren't you, Jones???"
He glared hard. "I'm not jealous of you trying to push yourself onto Auto. I'm furious that you would do something like that to anyone!"
"Oh please, Jones. You and i can both see that Auto likes me as much as i like him. I was simply making the first move." His smirk was disgusting to look at.
Auto almost threw up. "I know for a fact that Auto doesn't like anything about you, Stinkman." Robot reflected the dirty countenance. "He has his eye on a much more efficient unit." Auto made a face as he watched Finkman.
He huffed and frowned. "Well, he is not the only one that does."
They both felt like their microphones glitched. Robot and Auto glanced at each other, trying to confirm if the other heard the same thing. They looked back at Finkman, who had his arms crossed.
"You are simply too dumb to recognize the flirting. Is it that only aromantic cruelty turns you on? Or do you have a fetish for human flesh??? You idiot Robot." He glared hard at the short one.
Auto would guess the latter, knowing Robot. He completely understood without understanding. "W-wait. Finkman, do you…?"
He barked. "Am i speaking a language that you have not downloaded?! 我迷恋上了. दिल आशना है. I'M IN LOVE. Are you stupid???!!!"
The recountings made sense now. Finkman had one point of reference for the kind of thing that Robot reacted to romantically and tried to replicate it. Auto hadn't seen many recordings of the guy, but it really did make sense to him that Finkman was trying to flirt with Robot this whole time.
All Robot could do was stare. The words ricocheted all around on the inside if his lightbulbous brain and his chassis wirred hard. He began sparking and spazzing and flipping through complicated robotic poses as he freaked out.
Auto hadn't seen him do that too many times before, but he knew it was just a quirk and not an issue. He turned to Finkman. "So it was a crush this whole time???"
Finkman sighed with frustration. "For most of it! Obviously i had to meet him first. But i thought he was cute from Shannon's letters." Finkman was pretty sure that Auto knew that the two of them were penpals.
They glanced at Robot again. He was still cycling through the fit. Auto blinked tiredly. "Same. 'Same' to both things."
"I do have a crush on you too, Auto." Finkman glanced away.
He was surprised. "W-wait, you do??? Why?!"
He wasn't quite as frustrated at him. "I've been saying it this whole time!!! You're cute and have a great personality and are an amazing machine! Do i have to spell it out for you, too???!!!"
Auto blushed. "Oh, i thought you were just messing with me. It, um.. that's something that people do to me a lot."
"Yes, they do that to me, too. They think we're just here to be useful."
Robot stopped moving after a while. They watched him to see what he would do next, but all he did was fall forward onto his face, completely shut down.
Finkman's eyes got wide. "Is he alright???"
Auto smirked. "Oh sure, that happens to me all the time. He'll restart in just a second."
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In the end, Robot and Auto were unable to stitch together proof of Finkman's totally manipulative behavior. Even if they could, none of the girls that he talked to would have believed it anyway. It was a lost cause: just a lot of stress for… well, the outcome was a little bit interesting. But it wasn't going to help any of the other boys at Polyneux Middle School whenever Finkman rolled into town for those few weeks a year. It was just a headache that they had to deal with, but there were worse things out there.
Robot and Auto did, however, decide to keep that afternoon with Finkman a secret from their friends until he went back home. They didn't really need to know about all of that stuff: they just wouldn't understand.
[Post a/n: HELLZ YEAH, BEOTCH!!! This was started as a lead in to that other one that i did w Finkman, kind of got lost along the way, but came riiiight back to where i wanted it. SO HYPE. Uh, oh yeah, sorry about, like, everything? It's fanfiction.]