To Finster with love
"In this corner, weighing in at a 76 pounds, soaking wet, the rolling wonder, the sultan of spins, the trash can champion TJ detweiler." Said Spinelli from on top of a hill as she pointed to TJ, who was standing in a trash can waving his arms in the air, victoriously, as all the kids cheered. "And I'm this corner, the challenger, tipping the scales at 110 pounds in his socks, the big kahumer the lovable lugous, our very own, Mr Mikey." Spinelli pointed to her other side showing Mikey also in a trash can, but with Gretchen holding his arm up.
"But I don't wanna do it you guys, I'm scared." Said Mikey.
"Don't worry Mikey, based on every law of physics this is perfectly safe." Said Gretchen to reassure her friend.
"But, that can't be true."
"It isn't. I was attempting to comfort you." Said Gretchen before she pushed Mikey down into the trash can.
"I'm giving 30:1 odds on Mikey, think of it, for a mear dime you could be gingaling milk money for the rest of the year." Said hustler kid getting the bets setup, al of this was taking place without anyone noticing Randal run off.
"On your marks." Said Dede as she held a flag up as TJ crouched into the trash bin and Mikey was pushed down. "Get set, GO." Dede swing down the flag as both bins tipped over and started to roll down the hill on either side of her. It looked like TJ was winning however about the way down his bin was stopped by none other then ms Finster.
"Well, well, TJ detweiler. What a surprise." Ms Finster said as TJ just looked at her, laughing nervously. Because Ms Finster stopped TJ, Mikey's bin went hurtling down the hill no problem, allowing him to do an impressive loop from the kickball back fence. (I don't know if it has a name, I'm English and we don't have kickball here.) "that's it pal, you've just brought yourself a one way ticket to principal prickles office." She said pulling th out of his bin, all the while the rest of the gang was trying to pull Mikey out of his.
"He's stuck tight." Said Spinelli.
"you little troublemakers, if Hank the custodian saw this, he'd say-"
"Trash receptacles are made for trash, not for little boys to ride in." A new voice interrupted Ms Finster. Everyone looked over to see, said Hank standing there, as he took some grease out. "Stand back kids, I'll just lube him up real good and slip him out easy as pie." Hank did just that.
"Ow, Ms. Finster, you're hurting me." TJ said and Ms Finster let him go.
"Ohh..uh..excuse me TJ dear." She said with a smile on her face. "I didn't realise you were still here."
"Well, that's that." Said Hank as walked up to Ms Finster, as the both then just looked at each other smiling, until a beeping interrupted them. "Uh oh, looks like I've got a gelo incident in sector 5, guess I better get going." He said as he left.
"Someday boy, you might grow up to be like Hank." Ms Finster sighed as she put a hand on TJ's shoulder. "A fine man."
"Huh?" Asked TJ.
"Don't contradict me young man, just keep you little carcass outta those barrels." Ms Finster said back to her normal self before she walked off.
"Are you ok Ms Finster?" Asked Randal as he appeared next to her.
"Shut up you little wart."
"You saw that as well, right?" Dede asked TJ as she came to stand next to him, TJ just nodded to her in response, with his thinking face on.
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It was now lunch time and the group of 7 friends were in the cafeteria watching as ms Finster walked around telling kids off.
"You there, no sharing, eat that broccoli and you, who told you to put ketchup on those-" Ms Finster trailed off as she saw Hank repairing the door. "Fish sticks."
"We're telling you guy, there's something weird going on between Finster and Hank." Sao TJ as he and Dede turned around to look at their other friends.
"What are you talking about teej?" Asked Vince.
"Every time he's around she suddenly turns nice."
"It's just not normal." Said Dede.
"Maybe it's a grown up thing, you know, be nice to each other but mean to us. you know, professional curiosity." Said Gus.
"No, I think it's something else. It's…it's-" said TJ trying to find the words.
"Love." Mikey interrupted TJ.
"What?" Said the group minus TJ and Dede.
"Ms Finster has a crush on Hank, she's always had a crush on Hank ever since the day he fixed her draws."
"How do you come up with this stuff?" Vince asked.
"Isn't it obvious? They're like Romeo and Juliet, Troilus and Cressida, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria shriver."
"2 outta 3 of those are considered a tragedy though." Muttered Dede under her breath looking at Mikey.
"That's crazy." Said Spinelli.
"No, I think mikey's right and I'm gonna find out for sure." said TJ standing up to walk over to Ms Finster. "Ms Finster?"
"Yes, my child." Ms Finster replied making TJ look back at his friends, seeing them give him a thumbs up, he took a deep breath.
"That is perhaps the ugliest dress I think I've ever seen you wear and you've worn some pretty rank ones." TJ quickly covered his head when he finished waiting for Ms Finster to blow up.
"Thank you dear." Said Ms Finster still in a daze looking at Hank.
"Oh and your perfume." TJ took a sniff. "What is it? Ole de locker room. You smell like my gym socks."
"Thank you for noticing TJ, it's so nice to be noticed."
"Man, she's got it bad." Said Dede as TJ rejoined them at the table.
"Yep, she's a goner."
"Well, at least now we know why she's so super nice whenever hanks around." Said Vince.
"Yeah, too bad he's not around all the time." Said Spinelli.
"Hey guys, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Asked TJ.
"I don't know, I was thinking about getting more french fries." Said Mikey.
"Listen, if we can get Ms Finster and Hank together she would be nice all the time."
"Yeah, no more detention." Spinelli agreed.
"No more ear yanks." Said Gus.
"No more nothing." Said TJ.
"We could get away with anything." Said Dede, making the others cheer in agreement.
"I don't know you guys, I mean we're talking about people's feelings here." Said Mikey, the only one not on board. "We're messing with fate."
"Technically mikey's right. By influencing the orbit of these two spheres of love, we could potentially change the course of history." Said Gretchen.
"Oh come on you guys." Said TJ trying to get them back on board. "We'll be making Ms Finster happy, Hank happy and ourselves happy. There's no downside. The spark is there man, all we gotta do is fan the flames."
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After school the group of friend went to the public library to borrow some records from them to set their plan in motion.
"The librarian said that this was the most romantic music that they had." Said Vince as he and Gretchen came out, holding a box of records and a record player.
"What are those?" Asked Spinelli.
"There called records, or albums." Said Gretchen. "Depending on your generation affiliation, you play it on this." Showing them the player she was holding.
"Ok, we have the old music and the music player." Said TJ as he gestured to each as he spoke.
"No all we need is the old people." Said Dede.
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The next day just as recess started Ms Finster was in her classroom marking some test when Gus entered the classroom.
"What do you want?" Ms Finster asked him, making Gus stumble over his words. "Spit it out."
"There's some kids running in the cafeteria."
"What!" Ms Finster stood up.
"With scissors!"
"Hooligans!" Ms Finster said as she left the classroom. On the other side of the school Hank was standing of top of a ladder cleaning the top of a door when Vince and Gretchen ran up to him.
"Hank, Hank. There's a big emergency in the lunch room." Said Vince.
"One of the milk dispensers blew." Said Gretchen.
"Great sweet Mike , I told them not to install those newfangled x-17s, they've never been cafeteria tested." Hand said as he jumped down the ladder and ran into the cafeteria. As Ms Finster ran in Spinelli closed the door and locked it with a broom and TJ did the same when Hank ran in from the other side.
"Hank?" Ms Finster asked when she heard him.
"Ms Finster? What are you doing here?"
"Well there was some kind of emergency m, but I can't seem to remember what it was." While the 2 adults were busy talking Dede, who was stations on top of the little platform overlooking the cafeteria, turned the record player on and put the pin of the record, making the music start.
"You hear music?" Hank asked Ms Finster.
"Whenever I look at you." Ms Finster replied, both Hank and Ms Finster walked to the middle of the room where Han put his duster in his mouth, in replace of a rose, and the two started to dance. While they were distracted with that Dede quickly slipped down to the main level of the cafeteria and dimmed the lights before making a mad dash to the open window, climbing out and closing it behind her. When Dede looked behind her she saw her friends looking into the room from the window next to the one she just climbed through, when they saw the two dancing they cheered and Spinelli gave Dede a high five. Over the next few days kids seemed to notice the Ms Finster wasn't on the playground as much so they all went all out with their fun.
"Man, isn't this great. With Ms Finster gone we're free." Said TJ as he and Spinelli got ready to do another trash can race. As they were rolling down the hill TJs can was once again stopped, however not by Ms Finster this time, but by some kids wearing American football gear. "Hey, what gives? We're rolling here."
"Not anymore, this is our football field now, ya got a problem with that." Said the guy in the middle.
"Yeah I got a problem with that." Said Spinelli stepping forward.
"Well what are you gonna do? Cry to Finster." All the goons laughed.
"Forget it Spinelli." TJ said stopping Spinelli from pumbaling them. "Let's find something else to do." However it seemed that everyone was going to far with their fun, from people riding bikes to the diggers putting more dirt on the playground to dig up and to some 5th grader pushing guru kid around.
"Ok, this is getting way outta control, we've gotta go and see the king." Said Dede as she ran off to the jungle gym with the others following behind her.
"What the?" Said TJ seeing the jungle gym overthrown by kindergarteners.
"Where's king Bob?" Asked Gretchen.
"Big king yesterday's news, kindergarteners rules now." Said king sticky.
"HELP!" They hear and saw Randal being carried away by a bunch of kids.
"I don't know about you guy, but I'm sure missing Finster right about now." Said TJ.
"I think we all are teej." Said Dede, overlooking the state of the playground before sighing. "We have to get the old Ma Finster back, come on." As the group made their way in to school to find Ms Finster the all heard a beeping sound. "You guys go on ahead, I'll catch up, just gotta use the bathroom real quick." Dede then ran off and into the nearest bathroom stall before answering the call and saluted. "Atomic Candy reporting for duty."
"Atomic Candy, there's trouble in the rashka galaxy, there's a bus filled with school kids on a field trip that being chased by verminous khanids, they need your help." Said admiral DeGill.
"I'm on it sir." Dede said before ending the call and pressed a button to beam her up to her ship. It didn't take them long to find the bus and beam themselves aboard, with sparky jumping straight to the wheel and Dede trying to calm the kids down.
"Their gaining on us." Said sparky. "I can't seem to shake them and boy do they look hungry."
"What he means to say is, don't worry kids, it's all under control." Said Dede trying to stop the kids from screaming, but it didn't help as the khanids closed in and one even managed to open the bus door. "Sparky, quick, do something."
"Like what?" Sparky said throwing his arm out and hitting the gear stick making the booster turn on and knocking everyone back into their seats. Because of the surprise pull back sparky accidentally pulled the steering wheel off but when it wouldn't go back on like he wanted it to he threw it down to the floor, having it slam down on the breaks forcing the khanids to go flying off, saving the kids.
"Nicky done sparky." Said Dede as the kids all cheered, when Dede opened the bus doors to make sure there wasn't anymore nearby she was bombarded by the press. "Woah. You guys really are on top of the news."
"All hale sparky the hero." Said one reporter as sparky came to stand next to Dede.
"Hero, please." Said X-5 from the floor next to the breaks. "This give new meaning to the phrase 'dumb luck'."
"Hero? Me?" Sparky asked. "No way, I just did what anyone, regardless of their own personal safety, would have done." Once everything was done with sparky and the press Dede arrived back to earth, just in time to see the gang about to take Ms Finster outside to see the catastrophe that was happening.
"Hey guys, how's it going?" Dede asked walking next to Spinelli.
"She doesn't believe us." Spinelli said.
"It really is like a dark cloud has shadowed over the playground." Said Mikey.
"Haha a dark cloud, what nonsense. It's a beautiful day, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the school-" Ms Finster was cut off as she opened the door and saw the state of the playground. "Has gone to pot. AHHHhHHH."
"You see why we need you back to your old self." Said Dede making Ms Finster sigh as she walked off to where we saw Hank standing by the trash bins.
"Hank, I need to talk to you."
"I know Muriel, there's something I wanna say to you too." Replied Hank.
"I don't know how to put this but-"
"Me either-"
"It's over." They both said at the same time.
"You think so too?" asked Ms Finster.
"We don't have any choice Muriel. You and me aren't like other people, we have a calling and that calling is this." Hank said, holding a handful of dirt.
"Dirt? Dirt is our calling?"
"No, not dirt, the playground Muriel. The school, the halls, the grass, the windows, the flagpole and the kids, they're your calling Muriel."
"I know, without my gentle guidance they're lost, they need me Hank."
"And the school needs me Muriel. The other day I walked into the boys bathroom and you know what I found?"
"What?"
"Nothing, that's what. No paper towels in the dispensers, no toilet paper in the stalls, no covers on the seats and who's fault was that? Mine Muriel, mine." Hank patted the spot next to him for Ms Finster to sit next to him.
"You're right Hank, if we don't end this now we'll regret it, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but soon for the rest of our lives." Hank got up and started to walk away. "Will I ever see you again Hank?"
"Sure you will Muriel, wherever there's a hal that needs a mopping, I'll be there. Wherever there's a urinal mint that needs replacing, I'll be there. Wherever a kid has broken a window or barfed on the floors, I'll be there. All you gotta do is beep me, you know how to beep me don't ya? Just push the phone buttons and hit pound."
"Goodbye Hank, I'll miss you"
"And i you Muriel. And I you." Hank said before picking up a trash bin and his rake and walking off.
"Oh cruel fates, must you play so hard on these hearts of flesh." Said Mikey upset about watching the whole ordeal.
"Ms Finster, I found this." Said TJ handing her the duster he picked up.
"He used to dust the radiator with this, thank you TJ." Ms Finster said, taking the duster.
"Oh..and Ms Finster?"
"Yes TJ?"
"Are those really your shoes or did you mug a clown on your way to school?"
"Why you little HOOLIGAN." Ms Finster said getting back to her normal self before she got up to start change TJ around.
"She's back." TJ shouted joyously.
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A/N
I have no clue what those red worm thing that attacks the bus in the atomic Betty episode space brains, so since I just rewatch the gene wilder Charlie and the character factory I just called them khanids.