Big brother Chad/ my fair Gretchen
Recess was about two thirds the way through when the gang of six friends watched as Vince stood up for some kids.
"Did ya see that! Did ya?" Said Gus excitedly before running up to Vince. "Wow Vince, that was the coolest thing I've ever seen."
"Ahh, that was nothing."
"Nothing? Vince you just faced down chucko, the meanest fifth grader on the whole playground. If that's not cool I don't know what is."
"Yeah, Vince is so cool every kid on the playground wants to hang with him." Said Spinelli as they all walked across the playground.
"What? Oh that's ridiculous." Said Vince as upside down girl and her friend as Vince to hang with them.
"Kids of every grade worship him like a god." Said Mikey.
"What? Aww man, where do you guys get this stuff?" Laughed Vince before he heard some kindergartens bow next to him and offer him their two front teeth.
"You're always so humble Vince." Said Dede as she smiles at his uncomfortable smile to the kindergartens.
"Face it Vince, there's nobody cooler than you." Said TJ trying to prove a point.
"Oh yeah? What about Chad?" Vince fired back.
"Oh yeah, Chad."
"Good point." Said Gretchen.
"Who's Chad?" Asked Gus.
"My big brother, Chad's the coolest guy this school has ever known."
"I remember once when I was in kindergarten, I was all alone in the sand box and Chad came over and played with me." Said Mikey.
"Yeah and back in first grade when I got that bean stuck up my nose, Chad showed me how to blow it out." Spinelli smiled, putting a finger up to her nose.
"It's because of Chad that I love space as much as I do." Said Dede, remembering the book Chad had given her about space exploration.
"Chad was cool alright." Said TJ.
"Man, we haven't seen him for years." Dede sighed, thinking about how long it's been since they last saw Chad.
"Well it just so happens that Chad is gonna pick me up after school today."
"Wow really." Exclaimed Mikey.
"Yeah, and if you guys play your cards right you just might get a chance to see him again."
At the end of the school day the group of seven walked out of the school to see all the students still there, like they were all waiting for something. "I wonder why all these kids are here?" Asked Vince as the seven looked around at them all.
"Who knows, must be some sort of celebrity." Said Spinelli.
Vince was about to reply to Spinelli but was stopped by a voice, which turned out to be Digger Sam. "So Vince, what's Chad up to now?"
"You're all here to see Chad?"
"Yeah, you think he'd sign my shovel?"
"Tell us Vince, is he still cute?" Asked Ashley A as she and Ashley B walked over to Vince. "We haven't seen him in, like, forever."
"Well uhh, he's pretty much the same as always. He just got a really cool bike."
"You hear that? Chad got a new bike ''probably a mountain bike." "Or a motorbike." The diggers started talking amongst themselves.
"Yeah, hey everyone chads riding a chopper." Said upside down girl.
"There he is now, HEY CHAD." Vince waved at someone, makeing everyone turn around and see a cool guy on a motorcycle. However everyone was disappointed as the motorcycle guy rode out of the way revealing a nerdy guy behind him.
"Hey vinny, come on, I'm gonna be late for chess club." Said Chad.
"Coming Chad. See ya later guys, I gotta go hang with my cool big brother Chad." Vince waved at his friends before leaving and jumped into the side cart of chads bike, before they rode away squeaking the horn.
"That's Chad?" Asked Gus unsure about what to make of him as everyone had said he was a cool kid.
"He seemed so much bigger before." Said TJ.
"And so much cooler too." Said Ashley A.
"Why, he's nothing but a nerd." Said king Bob before he signed. "I'm so depressed."
With that everyone started to leave, all feeling very disappointed about seeing Chad again. "Actually, when you think about it, it all makes sense. I mean what self respecting fifth grader would wanna hang around with us when we were in kindergarten." Gretchen said making a good point. "Sure, he seemed like the Uber Chad back then, but now…"
"He's a total dork." Spinelli finished Gretchen's sentence.
"Poor Vince, he doesn't even know." Said Mikey.
"Yeah and think about how he's gonna take it when he finds out." Said TJ.
"Do we have to tell him? I mean it might hurt his feelings, knowing his big brother is a massive dork." Said Dede not wanting to hurt her friend.
"We need to tell him De, it's for his own good." Said Spinelli knowing that Dede didn't want to ruin Vince's image of Chad.
"You right, best he finds out from us then someone else later on, can we at least break it to him lightly." Dede signed as the others agreed with her, however it didn't go as planned, as the next day at recess when they all told him that Chad was a geek he just laughed at them.
"Chad? A geek? That's justrich, that's really rich." Vince laughed, not believing a single word that was said.
"Vince, take it from someone who knows." Gretchen gestures to herself. "Your brother is definitely a geek."
"Come on, Chad's way cool. He can burp the whole alphabet."
"Look Vince, what's the thing your brother wears in his pocket?" Asked TJ.
"Pocket protector." Said Vince still unconvinced while the other just looked at him slightly annoyed that he wasn't listening to them. "He doesn't wanna get ink on his shirt."
"Okay the , what's that stuff he wraps around his glasses?" Asked Spinelli.
"Tape." Vince flights back. "They break all the time."
"That's kind of a classic sign." Said Dede looking away from Vince.
"Well you'd all break your glasses too if you have baseballs flying at you at top speed."
"You mean chads on the baseball team?" Said Spinelli.
"Sure, he's the greatest score keeper they've ever had."
"I rest my case." Said Gretchen.
"Oh come on you guys, my big brother Chad is not a geek. I'll see you guys later, I've gotta go pick up Chad's turtle from the vet."
"Stage one; denial."
The next day Vince went up to his friends and explained that he now understood what they were all trying to tell him yesterday. "Hey come on Vince, it's not the end of the world." Said Mikey trying to cheer Vince up.
"So chads a geek, big deal." Said Spinelli.
"He's still your big brother." Said Dede.
"I know, I know. It's just… all these years I thought Chad was so cool and now that I know he's not, it just makes me question everything. I mean if he's a geek maybe I'm a geek. Maybe my whole life's been a sham."
"Oh come on Vince, you're talking crazy." TJ denies.
"Am i? I can see it all now. It'll start small, one of these days I'll be walking along minding my own business, when something will catch my eye." Vince went on to explain how he'll start shopping for pocket protectors and geek clothes, about how he'll learn yo-yo tricks and sneaking into nerd conversations before finishing the story with a nerd werewolf scenario.
"Oh come in man, that's not the way things are gonna be." Said Spinelli trying to stop Vince's overacting imagination.
"Maybe or maybe not, but if this geek things hereditary then I'm a walking time bomb."
"I don't think being a geek is a hereditary thing, I think it's a lifestyle choice." Said Dede trying to get Vince to see reason.
"Things can't get any worse than this."
"That's the kid psy. The guy that thinks he's so cool." Said a new voice making the seven of them look over to see chucko and his goons standing there with an either grader.
"So, you've been giving my little brother a hard time eyy?" Psy asked Vince.
"Hey look, I think this is just a big misunderstanding."
"Yeah, you misunderstanding that YOU do not mess with the quouski family. EVER." Psy finished by pushing Vince into Dede who managed to grab him before he could hit the ground.
"HEY!" A new voice shouted as Psy advanced towards Vince ready to pummel him, everyone looked over to see Chad standing there. "You leave those kids alone."
Vince throws himself forward and wrapped his arms around one of Psy's legs. "Save yourself Chad, I can only hold him back for so long."
"It's okay Vince, I can handle it."
"Stay out of this geekoid or your next." Chucko threatens.
"You heard me Psy." Chad walked up to Psy until he was in his face. "Leave.those.kids.alone."
"And if I don't?" Psy asked as Chad took of his glasses to clean them.
"If you don't, you can just forget about me helping you with your math homework anymore." Chad put his glasses back on before smiling smugly at Psy.
"But…but we're starting algebra soon."
"Don't take that from this guy Psy, he's just some geek." Chucko said, trying to get Psy back to beating up Vince and Chad.
"Shut up Chucko, this guys not kidding around. Look Chad, we're sorry, it was just uhh… a big misunderstanding, we didn't mean nothin gmb bad, honest." Psy grabbed his little brother and started to drag him away, when they had all left the seven friends started to cheer.
"Chad. That was so cool." Said Vince with a new appreciation for his big brother.
"Hey, just because I'm a geek doesn't mean I'm not a cool geek. Come on, I'll give you a rinse home in the old Chadmobile."
"See you later guys, I'm going home with my big brother Chad." Vince said as the others all watched them ride off with Chad burping the alphabet.
"Well all's well that ends well." Said TJ, as he turned around.
"Indeed, though we best follow their example and head home ourselves, we have that big test tomorrow after all." Said Gretchen, making the others groan.
"Man, I forgot all about that." Whined Dede before they all parted ways to go home. The next day after homeroom everyone was escorted to the cafeteria and sat down at the tables, with Ms Finster walking around in front of them holding the tests in her hand.
"This is the Arkansas standard achievement test, the most powerful achievement test in the world, so powerful I bet it can blow your minds clean away. Now the question is, do you feel lucky? We'll do ya punks."
"The old lady has been watching too many Clint Eastwood movies again." TJ whispered to Dede who giggled under her breath.
"I think what Ms. Finster is trying to say is, every year we give all the fourth graders this little standardised test, you get a whole 45 minutes, it's not for a grade so there's nothing to be afraid of." Ms Grotke said before Ms Finster could say anything else to try and scare the students.
"You're a wimp, you know that Grotke." Said Ms Finster before she handed out the tests to everyone.
"Ready? Begin." Said Ms Grotke and with that everyone started to take the test and most struggled with it, as Ms Finster got comfortable, putting her feet up on a table.
"Well Grotke, might as well take a load off, it's gonna be one long 45 minutes. Latte?"
"Excuse me, Ms Grotke?" Gretchen said, putting her hand up.
"I'm sorry Gretchen, no questions allowed." Replied Ms Grotke.
"But Ms Grotke…I'm done." Ms Finster spat out her latte at this and the students all gasped in shock, looking at Gretchen.
"But Gretchen…it's not even been 5 minutes."
"Heh…Sorry." Gretchen laughed nervously before she was allowed to leave early and wait for everyone else to finish.
When the bell rang for recess to start the group of six walked outside to see Gretchen sitting on the steps waiting for them. "Man, what are they trying to do to us? First they make us read some dumb story, then they ask us the capital of Montana." Said TJ.
"If I ever get my hands on the guy who came up with that stupid test." Spinelli said, hitting her palm with her fist. "I'll kick his butt all the way to-"
"Helena." Gretchen cut Spinelli off. "The capital of Montana…it's Helena."
"You knew that one?" Asked Gus.
"Corse she knew the one, face it guys Gretchen knew every question on that test." Said Vince.
"Well I don't know about every question." Gretchen denies before boasting. "But I think I did quite well."
"Yep, you definitely did." Said Dede as she started leading the group away from the doors.
"Of course, that's what stinky Peterson thought too." Said TJ, going into his conspiracy mode.
"Stinky Peterson?" Asked Gretchen scared. "I didn't even consider that possibility."
"Hey, don't scare her teej, this is nothing like stinky Peterson." Spinelli said.
"Who's stinky Peterson?" Asked Gus, still not heard everything about the school.
"Well…stinky Peterson was this really smart kid, just like Gretchen. He burned through his test so fast everyone was sure that he aced it, but then two days later, something really weird happened. Right when ms Grotke was going to call stinky's name at roll call, mrs lemon shows up, she took him to the principals office and they never saw stinky Peterson again."
"Woah." Awed Gus.
"Some kids say that stinky did so poorly on the test, they sent him all the way back to kindergarten." Gretchen said nervously.
"Oh come on guys, that can never happen to Gretchen, she's way too smart so be sent back to kindergarten." Said Dede trying to cheer up the atmosphere.
"Sure, you aced that test no problem." Said Vince also trying to cheer Gretchen up.
"And even if you didn't, fingerprinting is fun and you even get lots of naps." Mikey said throwing in his two cents. This, however, did not go as Mikey had planned as it just made Gretchen gulp, still scare about going back to kindergarten.
The next couple of days was peaceful, to the point where the seven friends had forgotten all about the test and what happened to stinky Peterson, that was until the morning on the third day. As ms Grotke was doing roll call, before she got to Gretchen, the door opened, revealing ms lemon.
"Ahh…ms lemon, come on in."
"Prickly sent me down here to get your attendance sheet…….and her." Ms. Lemon pointed at Gretchen." Come on, come on I don't got all day." A reluctant Gretchen stood out and followed her out of the classroom.
———————————————————
"NOOOOOOOO." Mikey shouted from his position on his knees.
"They can't do this to ya." Said TJ, annoyed.
"Yeah, tell your mom and dad, they'll get you out of it." Said Vince just as annoyed as TJ.
"Are you kidding, I called my mom as soon as I left the principal's office, she's been doing backflips ever since." Replied Gretchen.
"There's gotta be something we can do, maybe if we-"
"Look, I know what you're gonna say and I wanna thank you in advance, but if you'll excuse me, I think I just need some time alone." Gretchen interrupted TJ before he could finish and walked away, leaving the other six to look after her sadly.
"What are we going to do?" Mikey asked in his overdramatic way.
"What can we do? All the adults are on board with this and even Gretchen has given up hope staying here." Said Vince.
"We have to try something, we can't just let them take our friend away from us." Replied Dede as she turned to TJ. "Any plans?"
"I got nothing." TJ signed, shaking his head at coming up blank.
"Oh why was Gretchen born so smart, why couldn't she be dumb like the rest of us." Cried Mikey as the others looked at him before smiling at each other.
At the end of the day the group of six had managed to make it to Gretchen's house before she did and were all waiting for her to come back to tell her of their plan. As Gretchen arrived and was about to open the door to enter her house the six all ran outside shouting her name.
"What are you guys doing here?" Questioned Gretchen, fully confused.
"We figured it out, we know how to keep you from going to that other school." Replied TJ.
"Mikeys the one who really thought of it." Vince said, patting Mikey's shoulder.
"It came to me like a bolt of lightning." Said Mikey.
"Ready? What if you were dumb?" Said TJ.
"I'm sorry TJ but for once I'm really not following you." Gretchen scratched her head.
"Okay, there's that panel review thing, right?" Spinelli explained.
"That is what principal prickly said."
"Well what if when you showed up, you didn't act like the smart kid that you are, you act like the regular dumb old kid you aren't." Finished Vince.
"An interesting hypothesis you guys, but I've been trying to dumb myself down since kindergarten and it hasn't worked so far."
"But this time you've got experts on your side." Said TJ gestured to the group of six who all nodded.
"Ahhh, what have I got to lose?"
Over the next few days the group kept on asking Gretchen questions, hoping she'd get the wrong answer, but she kept answering them all correctly, making them all groan. During this time they were also taking Gretchen around the playground asking different students to help Gretchen look like a regular kid, but that went as well as the questioning.
"What is the capital of Montana?" Asked Mikey.
"Hel-New York city."
"What was that?" Asked Spinelli.
"New York city."
"Again." Said TJ.
"New York city."
"You know, I think she's got it." Said Vince.
The next day marked the presentation that Gretchen was meant to take, the group of six waited outside the school for the bus that was bringing Gretchen to school to arrive, when it did and she stepped out, five of the six were shocked at Gretchen's new attire. She was wearing half green half yellow trousers, a white shirt with a red heart in the middle and a big puffy green and yellow hat with no glasses.
"Gretchen?" Mikey asked as she just smiled and went to step off of the bus, however because she doesn't have her glasses on she misses the step and falls onto the floor.
"What'd ya think? I think I nailed a dumb kid look pretty okay." Said Dede as she helped Gretchen up and then watched as she walked into the school.
"When'd Gretchen have an outfit like that?" Asked Gus.
"She didn't. I took her shopping after school yesterday and we managed to find it, now let's go and watch what happens, hopefully she fails this thing." Dede ran off after Gretchen as the others followed to go and watch the presentation, because they couldn't see what was happening Mikey kneeled down and allowed Dede to kneel on his back to see what was going on.
During the questioning Gretchen proceeded to get every question wrong and when the adult were all looking at each other confused she'd turn around and see Dede giving her a thumbs up. "She's blowing it." Dede informed the others as they cheered silently, not wanting to get caught. Prickly then went on about how Gretchen must have cheated on the test and how he was going to see to her expulsion, all this was too much for Gretchen and she burst, answering all the questions that were asked of her correctly and in correct order. "She's doomed." Dede looked back at her friends sadly but that turned into slight panic when she looked back into the room to see prickly coming towards the door.
"What are you kids doing here?" Prickly asked as they all proceeded to run away. When prickly looked away to back into the room the group all stood behind him, watching the clock and waiting for news on Gretchen.
The six kids were all sitting on the floor, backs pressed against the way, as prickly was pacing back and forth. As soon as the door opened the kids stood up and prickly stopped pacing. "Well?" Asked prickly.
"It's all settled." Said the white haired old guy.
"She's going to Oppenheimer?" At pricklys question the other six were staring at them upset, hoping that the answer was a no.
"Nope, I'm staying right here at third street." Gretchen's voice reached them as she walked out of the room, making the six cheer loudly.
"She put forth a case quite eloquently" said the only lady of the group. "And finally persuaded us that there was more to education than what one learns from books."
"But what about my promotion…I mean what about Gretchen's future." Asked prickly. "Her mind is a terrible thing to waste."
"That brings us to our next point. Have you considered starting a toro ring program at your school?" Asked the white haired man. "You've got an excellent resource in Miss Grundler."
"Kids teaching kids, I love it." Prickly said after muttering to himself.
"Well that's not exactly what we had in mind." Said the lady.
Three days later it was put into place that after school Gretchen will be tutoring the teachers, the group of six stood outside a classroom and watched her for a little bit.
"Thanks to this study buddy program, we'll never have to worry about Gretchen leaving again." Said TJ as they all started to walk away.
———————————————————