Disclaimer: I own nothing other than the plot. The original concepts belong to JKR and Warner Brothers. Any concepts brought from other fictions are either coincidental or will be used in their own way, and no plagiarism is meant.

Chapter 16: Apologies

February 17th, 1994

Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts

Harry sat quietly in a corner of the tower alone, reading a book from 1941 on Magical Output from Godric's bookshelf. The book itself had captured his attention when Sirius had pointed it out, having already read it himself, and truthfully, he could see why. There were three different authors that had written it, including Cassiopeia Black, Sirius' great aunt.

The more important thing though was that the entire book was dedicated to magical output.

The first author was a man named Rocco Rossi, an Italian magical theorist. His method was called the Well and Bucket Theory. Basically, he theorized that the magical core, which was where a person's magic was stored, was like a well, and that every spell that a person casted was like a bucket, dumping a small amount of magic from the well into the wand. He theorized that by reducing the power of spells, one could last longer and do more with their magic. The second author continued with this, debating on the effects of weaker spells, the difficulty in learning this, and its overall practical applications.

Cassiopeia had disagreed. Calling her theory the Stream and River Theory, She speculated that magic was constantly coursing through the body at all given moments, even if the magic originated from a person's central core. That was only the beginning though, as she speculated that, as the wand is a focusing object, magic connected to it by channeling through the body.

The main issue though was that there was nothing limiting the flow of magic going to the wand, which she called the River of magic, only that intent and willpower were forcing the magic to work while hampered by a person's overall magical potential and affinity. Instead, she argued, and actually taught herself how to control this flow by first feeling the magic in her body, and then controlling the power applied to spells, thus making it a small stream.

Sirius thought that this was perhaps the best thing to have ever read. If it were possible to limit the magic used for casting a spell, reducing waste, or magic that was unnecessary, it would reduce the drain in longer duels and reduce the risk of magical exhaustion.

Thankfully, both theories had instructions on how to attempt to learn them, though Cassiopeia was far more detailed in the necessities required and of how long it could take to learn this, which for her, was just over a year. The first steps were on learning to feel the magic in the caster's body using a mix of meditation and focused casting. Once the caster had achieved that, which was something Harry could already do, the next step was controlling a Lumos Charm of all things. It seemed silly, but she had said it was also considered the perfect visualization for viewing the amount of magic used.

"Harry." He looked up, frowning when he saw Hermione standing there.

The girl hadn't talked to him directly in the past few days since he yelled at her, especially when Neville sided with him, and refused to talk about anything that happened in the office. He couldn't say he was upset with her asking questions, but her nosiness had still upset him almost as much as the lack of trust had.

"Hermione." He replied neutrally, sitting his open book pages down on the arm of the chair.

She sat down next to him, looking tired. Harry sighed as he realized that despite her lighter workload, meaning that she wasn't carrying him and Ron through classes, or not having to help Buckbeak, she was still draining herself taking so many classes and using the time turner irresponsibly. He couldn't say anything quite yet though.

"I'm sorry." her voice was soft, and he could hear the sincerity and regret in her tone.

"For?" Harry prompted. She looked up in surprise, before scrunching her eyebrows together.

"I'm sorry for not having faith in you, or trusting you. Much worse, for pressing into your business when I should have been understanding." She said quietly. She seemed to think for a moment before taking a deep breath.

"Did you know you were my first genuine friend?" She asked. He shook his head, as he had never known that.

"It's true. I was bullied in my muggle school. The other students never liked that I was smarter than them. I was shunned and harassed regularly, and the only time people wanted to be my friend, it was to use me for my brain. It wasn't until you and Ron saved me from the troll and began to hang out with me that I had my first true friend. And even then, you were more genuine than Ron." She admitted.

He had never known that. Truthfully though, he shouldn't have been surprised. Hermione was a rather strong minded person, and back in their first year, was often heavy handed in her intelligence and her beliefs of how things should be. That she had issues making friends in muggle schools was not surprising to him.

"I'm sorry to hear that." He said after a few moments.

"Don't be. I've come to terms with it." She replied with a small smile. "I should have trusted you more, Harry, and I definitely should have understood your desire for some privacy. I know, especially now, that not only was it the wrong place to push you for answers, but the wrong time as well."

"It was, and it was out of line too. I had told you a number of times to let it be, and you refused to listen. Even Professor McGonagall had told you off, yet you still chose not to listen." Harry replied neutrally. "That wasn't the worst of it though Hermione."

She looked hurt, but nodded. "What was then?"

"I've saved your life, and you have had my back, but to admit that you don't trust me to make the smart decision, to say that you were willing to go to a teacher behind my back… it hurts." Harry said softly. "I trust you to make your own decisions, even if I disagree with them, but your worship of authority comes before your trust in your friends, and to me, that's wrong."

"But Professor Dumbledore-"

"Admitted that he makes mistakes, massive ones at that." Harry cut in. "He places me into the home that neglected me at best, Hermione. Either you stand by the fact that he wasn't in the wrong and I deserved it, or you understand that simply because he is powerful and intelligent doesn't remove the fact he is human, and that he can make mistakes."

She looked horrified by the first part, and slowly, began to realize just why Harry didn't fully trust the man. Her eyes seemed to water, before she stood, collapsing in his lap and crying, dislodging the book in the process. All he could get from her was 'I'm Sorry' over and over, and it took nearly five minutes for her to calm down. Thankfully, it was a free period near the end of lunch, so only Ron and Neville were present in the common room, and they were on the far side, only glancing over occasionally.

She pulled back though once she calmed down, and Harry casted a drying charm on his robes. "I'm sorry. I… I never connected the pieces. I should have. They should have."

"I know, and so does Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore. That was why she held me back, to apologize for not having seen it." Harry said quietly. Hermione moved from his lap, turning red at the physical contact.

"You didn't deserve it Harry." She said quietly. "You're an amazing person, and I am sorry if I ever insinuated as much."

Harry sighed. Outright forgiving her wasn't an option even if she was only thirteen and still learning, but he wouldn't lord it over her. "Just… Have more faith in my decisions, even if you disagree, and please, respect my privacy when I say I don't want to talk about something."

"Alright." She nodded, wiping her face. Harry pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket, and she smiled gratefully, "You're right, too. Just because they are authority, or there are rules, does not mean the system is perfect or that the person is. Just… remember that you can always talk to me, and I promise, I'll be a better friend from now on."

Harry only nodded, giving her a small smile. No matter if it was the magical or muggle system, it was never perfect, and neither were the people. Even he was flawed, and he knew it.

She glanced at her watch, before taking a deep breath and handing his handkerchief back, "Thank you, but we need to get to Defense."

He stood, and she followed his lead, but he reached out, pulling her into a surprising hug, "Thank you for apologizing. You mean a lot to me, Hermione, and it would hurt to not have you in my life."

He felt her squeeze him, before letting go with a smile. Grabbing his fallen book, he sighed. "Dang. I'm going to have to find the page I was on."

"What book is that?" Hermione asked as he tossed it in his bag.

"Magical Output Theory. It was written by Sirius' Great Aunt Cassiopeia. It's pretty interesting, but I don't know where to get another copy." Harry replied.

"What is it about?" She asked as they approached the others.

"Hm. To make it simple, it is about controlling the amount of power put into spells to make them work without wasting power. Like, say you only need a small amount of light from a Lumos Charm, it talks about focusing on the magic pushed into it to achieve it, but furthers it into every spell, as most spells can succeed using less magic than what we use normally with no ill effect to the spell." Harry explained.

"It sounds rather advanced." She replied. Ron only nodded in agreement, while Neville seemed interested.

"Magical Output theory?" Neville asked. Harry nodded. "Professor Dumbledore gave me the book from his own collection so I can reduce the power I am using in spells."

"Can I read it when one of you are done with the book?" Hermione asked hopefully. Harry could only laugh mentally at the girl's thirst for knowledge.

Neville shook his head, and Harry frowned, coming up quickly with an excuse on how he couldn't lend it out. "I'll talk to Sirius about it. This book is one I can't lend out, but I should be able to get you another copy."

She hesitated, almost asking, but instead she just nodded in acceptance, smiling. "Thank you."

With that done, the four began to make their way to class, the tension feeling far less than it had before.

Break…

February 19th, 1994

Hogwarts

Flitwick had just finished a story about his mother attempting to modify the Levitation spell for a Arithmancy project, where instead of making an object float at a desired height, she had inadvertently inverted gravity on the object it was casted on. While it sounded great, she had first casted it on a Flitwick's desk, and canceling the spell caused it to shatter his desk.

The two had decided after two hours of dueling, where Harry made astounding progress over the past few months, to stop and let Harry hear stories of his mother from her school days, and some about his father and group of friends. It was a pleasant thing, especially as Flitwick had worked with her personally over her school years.

He was tired, something he seemed to be more of the passing weeks, but still, it all was progress and afternoons like this made it worth it.

"It is ten after ten. Perhaps you should get moving. I understand Albus wishes to see you today." Flitwick spoke. It was more of a command than a suggestion. "The next few lessons, we won't be using magic. I wish to work on your knowledge of strategy and understanding of opponents in the field and on platforms."

"Alright sir. So bring parchment and a quill?" Harry asked.

"You know it. Best of luck, Mister Potter."

With that, Harry stood and slowly made his way up a floor to the Headmaster's office. It dawned on him that he didn't know the password, as Dumbledore didn't have to say it to enter his own office. "Um… if Professor Dumbledore is available, could you tell him that Harry Potter is here?"

There were several moments of silence before the Gargoyle moved, and Harry ascended the steps to the old man's office. He knocked lightly, and entered when told to. "Ah, thank you for coming to see me today, Harry."

"Of course, sir." Harry replied, his tone soft and neutral. The headmaster still put him on edge, as Harry had no clue if he could or would trust him.

"Please. Sit." Dumbledore drew the Elder Wand, conjuring a chair silently as he stood and moved to a table, plucking a device up and walking back to his desk. "Do you know what this is?"

Harry stared at the little round device, "No sir?"

"It is a Remote Ward Monitor. Though they are rarely used, mostly because they have little use, it allows me to monitor and even enable or disable wards from a long distance. I used this when creating the wards around Privet Drive. Now, remember how I told you that the wards would remain until you came of age, or until you found another place to call home?" Dumbledore asked.

Harry nodded. "Yes sir."

"Good. Declare that Privet Drive is no longer your home."

Harry followed the command, and watched as a puff of purple smoke was emitted from the device. He frowned, "What did that do?"

"It broke your connection to the blood wards. They will slowly drain themselves out over the next few months, and likely break sometime in June or July. The other few wards, which prevented scrying and apparation, will remain until your relatives move or at the end of the calendar year." Dumbledore explained. "I spoke to them Tuesday. They understand why you will not be returning. Your aunt expressed a small amount of regret, but your uncle seemed to be unbothered with his actions."

"So Sirius will get custody of me?" Harry asked hopefully. Dumbledore nodded, smiling.

"He will, my boy." Dumbledore agreed, "As your oath sworn godfather, it is his duty and responsibility, I made many mistakes sending you to your nearest blood relatives. I regret it dearly, though it may have been better than the alternative."

"Alternative? The alternative was my godparents." Harry spoke calmly, though it was clearly forced.

"It was." Dumbledore agreed. "Yet, Sirius was arrested with, at the time, no evidence to clear his name, and the Longbottoms were attacked just days later. Something you must understand, Harry, is once those two options were removed, and without knowing your parent's wishes, you would have ended up in the Department of Child Care. They would've found you a home. Likely, that would have been the highest bidder as famous as you were."

Harry stopped, thinking about it for a moment, "And yet, even if they were supporters of Voldemort, and with how famous I was, I would have been kept alive and healthy.."

Dumbledore frowned at that, not having thought about that logic. "Why is that?"

"Simple. Status. They would have raised me, indoctrinating me into their views. Sure, it would be a worse outcome than how I am now, but at least I would've been cared for. Besides, you are acting as if you couldn't have had a say, or taken me in yourself." Harry argued.

He felt his anger and bitterness rise up some, but took a few deep breaths, cutting off whatever the headmaster was about to say. "It's irrelevant. The damage has already been done, and I am done with them, aren't I?"

Dumbledore just nodded slowly, allowing the change in direction. "Yes. You can return, if you wish, to collect anything left behind. Otherwise, you only need to see them if you wish."

"Good."

They sat in silence for several minutes, where Fawkes reappeared from somewhere and flew to Harry, nipping his ear after landing back on his shoulder. "Fawkes seems to really like you, Harry."

"I think we have a bit of a bond, sir. He did save my life twice after all." Harry commented dryly. After all, blinding the basilisk kept him alive to fight it, and the healing too should have been obvious.

"That he did." Albus agreed. There was another lull in the silence. "Is there something bothering you, Harry?"

"Several things." Harry admitted, "Did my parents have a will? Where do you and I go from here? Can I even trust you?"

"I do not know if they had a will. Possibly, Gringotts has it, but I did not have full guardianship according to them. The limit of my ability to manage your affairs there was requesting a vault key to the heir vault, which I assure you, was not used until it was given to you. Otherwise, I only received statements about your vault's income, both the Family vault and the Heir vault."

"As for a will, Sirius may have a better idea, though at this point, their will would be rather redundant other than to dispense any monetary items. I only know, thanks to my position as Chief Warlock, that there wasn't a copy filed within the Ministry. At the time, that was normal as it was a way to protect one's assets and children." Dumbledore answered.

"As for the latter two. It is up to you. I understand I have wronged you terribly, Harry, but I promise that I bore no ill intent in it."

Harry frowned, but nodded. "What about the mail redirection ward?"

Dumbledore let out another sigh, "Something I did to protect you, Harry. Without a magical adult to monitor what was mailed to you, anyone could have sent mail that was cursed or even a portkey, an item used for travel, to you, causing you harm. I thought it an oversight to the blood wards, so I added a powerful one of my own."

"Well you upset the goblins and me in the process. Them for blocking their owls, and me for not telling me. It could be part of why people have issues with me." Harry said firmly, holding back another bite of anger and bitterness.

He again saw the headmaster flinch. "Apologies. As for people being upset about it, I made it publicly known not long after the war settled down that there was a mail-filter applied. As for the goblins, I will write them an apology and pay the fees I have no doubt incurred."

"And you will remove it?" Harry asked.

"It will fade with the other wards, though I am sure I can force it to fade quicker once I talk with Sirius and ensure he applies something similar or has contracted Gringotts to filter your mail. I don't wish to overstep my boundaries, but I have no doubt that there are still people who try daily to send you letters and I don't wish to put you in further danger than I already have."

Although he wasn't pleased with the response, it was logical. Still. Harry had noticed he had deflected the reasoning he hadn't told him about the ward either in the past or future. Perhaps Sirius had agreed to leave it? Maybe because of how things had happened did Dumbledore feel like his plans needed to change to fit them? Either way, Harry suddenly felt more uneasy about the headmaster, but he couldn't change his plans he made with Sirius.

He still wouldn't discount the man being a master manipulator. After all, the man held some of the most politically dangerous positions with practiced ease.

"May I ask something in return?" Dumbledore asked, causing Harry to nod. "Have you felt anything from your scar in the past months?"

"No sir." Harry hesitated, something not missed by the older man as Harry debated revealing it with his new unease.

"What is it?" Dumbledore asked curiously. Harry slowly raised his hair up, revealing the thin and almost invisible line that was once his scar. Dumbledore gasped, standing up quickly and drawing his wand. "May I?"

Harry nodded, feeling a tingling sensation over his forehead repeatedly. He didn't speak though, waiting to see the headmaster's reaction. He had talked with Sirius about this the previous night, and while both agreed that if Dumbledore asked there was no hiding it, Harry now felt a slight doubt creep into his mind. It was better to just allow him to discover it though, anything else would have raised suspicions and he wanted Dumbledore to pay as little attention to him as possible.

"When did this happen?" The headmaster asked excitedly.

"This summer. I saw it in the mirror after my shower one morning, looking as if nothing had been there before." Harry sort of lied, though it was true. It was how he discovered it was so noticeable.

"This is interesting. There used to be powerful magic in it, but now, nothing." Dumbledore muttered, "Interesting."

"Is this something important, sir?" Harry asked, curious about the man's answer.

"It is, though for reasons I cannot explain yet. It is nothing to worry about yet though, I give my word on that." Dumbledore replied evasively, "Have you felt any different since it has been healed?"

"I feel lighter and stronger, both physically and magically. I had thought that it was from my better diet and working out." Harry answered truthfully…ish, "Otherwise, my mind has felt clearer too. I can focus better and I remember things more clearly."

"Hm, I'd imagine, in your first two points, there is a connection, though only very little of one. Interesting, all of the same." Dumbledore muttered.

"And my eyesight is healed too." Harry added, knowing a simple spell or slip would ruin that issue and he had no desire to endure more attention. He almost laughed at the headmaster's confused expression, "The glasses just have plain lenses. I didn't want to lose something that made me like my father yet."

"Yes, definitely your scar… That is good news, and a smart idea for another reason. Should you lose your glasses in a fight in the future, your opponents will think you are at a disadvantage." Dumbledore replied with a smile. "Perhaps in a few years, I would be willing to enchant your lenses. There are a few things that are useful to put on them."

"Thank you for the offer sir." Harry replied. It was something he would likely take advantage of, though it wouldn't stop him from checking repeatedly for tracking charms. He couldn't find anyone who readily knew how to in Diagon Alley and he wasn't convinced he should search Knockturn Alley.

"Of course." Dumbledore replied. "Do you have anything more to ask me?"

Harry shook his head.

"Very well. Then it seems I have a few things to discuss with you." Harry watched him draw the Elder wand and summon two books. He tapped them both, causing them to shimmer for a moment.

"Firstly, I wish for you to begin learning Occlumency." Dumbledore began, "It is the art of protecting your mind. Please begin reading it soon. It is a useful art for many reasons. Perhaps, if you wish, allow Miss Grange and Miss Weasley to read it."

"What about Neville, Susan, and Hannah?" Harry asked. Of course, he already knew some of the art, but he would see what this book had.

"They are from old families and I have no doubt they already know some of the art, though they too, may look at it. Encourage them subtly to ensure they practice the art, though do not allow anyone to know. The mind arts are restricted and the possession of this book is illegal." Dumbledore answered.

"Alright." 'Someone could have told me that it was restricted.' Harry thought with a huff.

"And this book is my own. It is of magical theories on intent and control while used in spellcasting. Read and memorize it, and have it back to me by the end of the year. This one can be shared with Mister Longbottom only." Dumbledore replied seriously.

"Why him only?" Harry asked.

"Knowledge is not always meant for everyone, Harry. Some do terrible things with their power. I do not wish for my knowledge to be used for those things." Dumbledore explained, "And both of you should keep an open mind when reading the second one."

"Alright?" Harry replied, frowning, "I'll make sure to read both."

"Good. Good." The Headmaster replied. "Now another thing. I gathered, from your relatives' mind, yes, I read them, that you hold yourself back in classes?"

Harry nodded. He wasn't proud of it before, but now, it was out of necessity. "Alright. How far along are you really?"

Harry hesitated, before giving an answer similar to that which he gave to Professor Flitwick, a lie, but also a truth as he was to that point, "Pushing towards mid-fourth year material, and some silent casting."

"Good. Not that you're doing bad, you average an Exceeds Expectations in your practical work and an Average in written, It isn't a bad thing, but if you wanted to show your intelligence, it would likely be good."

"Professor? If Voldemort is still alive, acting as if I am nothing more than the average child isn't a bad thing. Maybe it'll save my life one day." Harry said, garnering a smile from the man.

"Hm. Impressive thinking, and you may be right." Dumbledore replied. "If you wish to keep doing so, I will say nothing to any of the teachers."

"Thank you." Harry replied. "Anything else?"

"Two more things. I will need to speak with Sirius, and soon. Mostly for official business in transferring the Guardianship, but I also wish to apologize. As I know you can contact him, is it possible to have him come meet me?" Dumbledore asked.

"When?"

"Preferably as soon as possible." Dumbledore answered. Harry only nodded.

"Good. Lastly, if you or Mister Longbottom need anything, feel free to come see me. The password White Crown has been set to allow you both, and only you both, up to my office. Others can try it, but it will not work." Dumbledore said.

"Why a special password for us two?" Harry asked bemusedly.

"Because I have a feeling both of you are special. And with my books, it gives you access, in case you have questions about anything you read." Dumbledore replied warmly.

"Alright sir."

With that, Harry stood, heading from the office after saying his goodbyes to both the Headmaster and the Phoenix. Neville was with the other four, and after casting a privacy charm, he relayed the meeting. Hermione was kind of jealous that Harry possessed a book written by the headmaster that she wasn't allowed to read, but was excited about the book on the mind arts.

Susan, meanwhile, was confused. "Why the mind arts?"

"He seems to believe Occlumency is important to us, though he gave no explanation. I don't trust him yet, but if it keeps others out of my head, it's worth learning." Harry answered.

"Understandable." Neville nodded. "This one is far better than any book my family possesses."

"And is also highly illegal to possess." Susan commented, writing an essay. Hermione looked scandalized.

"A book is illegal?" She nearly yelled.

"Yes. The mind arts, mainly Legilimency, which is looking into another's mind, is illegal to practice outside of consent, medical uses, and court orders. Occlumency is likewise illegal to sell or possess material on the subject which contains the instructions on, but not to teach or learn." Susan replied with a frown. "No idea why though."

"It's the control of information. The possession or sale of tomes with more esoteric or dark magic, or magic of odd fields, is prohibited, but only in Magical Britain. Oddly, learning it isn't, but the open use of or selling of knowledge is. Basically, you can learn the Unforgivables, but so long as you never use them against a magical human or being, it's not illegal. Possession of the books and tomes is only exempt when counted as part of a family Library. I'd guess this is part of the Dumbledore family library since he possesses it."

Everyone stared at Hannah. "What? My dad rants about it quite often. It's why we travel a lot. Some countries are more open with knowledge."

Harry couldn't help but smile, enjoying the afternoon with his friends.