Chapter Ten

She couldn't speak to Ross, but she read the newspapers eagerly, hoping to learn something new. Everything she did manage to find out, however, only frustrated her more. They didn't know where the babies had been placed. Ross either hadn't kept records, or he'd destroyed them when he'd realized that the law was closing in on his operations. It was "believed" that before his activities had come to light, he had been involved with over two hundred illegal adoptions in over two dozen states.

Angrily, Emma got up from her desk and slammed her fists down hard on the newspaper. Then she delivered a mighty kick to her chair. It careened back several feet on its caster wheels and slammed into the metal filing cabinets with a loud crash.

Ray looked up, startled. "Emma?"

Emma shook her head. "Sorry. Sorry," she repeated. "But there's nothing. You taught me how to track down missing persons. Why can't I do this?"

"Because it's easier to find someone with a credit history and a social security number and known family members? Oh, and names help, too, I might add—" He broke off abruptly when the phone rang.

Emma lunged for it, sparing a glance at the clock. She'd been here since half-past seven, burying herself in her workload and the morning paper. It was now ten to nine and Neal should be coming in any minute. "Manuel and Associates," she said, pushing down her anger and frustration and trying to smother them with a wall of professionalism. "Emma Swan speaking. How may I assist you?" It was a company in Tucson wanting them to run background checks on several prospective hires. Emma gave the fax number. "Oh, and could I ask how you found out about us? I see. Okay, fax us the information and we'll draw up an agreement. Thanks for calling." As she hung up, she turned to Ray.

"We ought to thank Charlene for this one," she said. "She recommended us."

Ray grinned. "Good to know." His expression turned serious. "You know, Emma, I do have a few contacts at a couple of the bigger firms in Phoenix. One of them owes me a favor. I could… ask him to put a few feelers out, see if maybe he can learn anything about your son."

Emma's eyes went wide. "You'd do that?"

"Don't get too excited," Ray said quickly. "I doubt he'll be able to make a couple of phone calls and get back to you tomorrow with your son's name and address. This kind of investigation takes time and money. A lot of it. More than I've got and more than I'd feel comfortable asking Charlie to forgo. But he might at least be able to give you something to get started."

"Okay," Emma said, seizing the faint glimmer of hope. "Okay, let's do this."

"Fine. I'll make the call."

It would take some time before Ray got a response from his contact. Emma wasn't surprised when Ray informed her. "He's got to work on the cases that bring in money, first," she sighed. "I'm right, aren't I?"

"Afraid so," her boss confirmed. "But he will come through in the end."

Neal looked up. "What about that nurse who was helping him?" he asked.

"Dani Gutierrez?" Emma looked up.

Neal shrugged. "She was arrested a few years back; Anderson basically abandoned her to take the fall. Maybe she'll know something she'd be willing to share."

Emma considered for a moment. Then she walked over to her computer and shifted the mouse. Her screen saver dissolved and she typed in a few search terms. "Here it is," she said. "She went to prison for two and a half years," she sniffed, "doesn't seem long enough—"

"Non-violent crime, remember?" Neal put in.

"That, plus I think they knew Anderson was the one they really wanted. Gutierrez might have handled Anderson's first meetings with the Durango girls, but it doesn't look as though she had anything to do with the adoption arrangements besides knowing about them. She was an accessory, sure, but she wasn't the one they really wanted to nail." Ray turned to Emma. "Did she try to pressure you about giving up the baby or threaten or intimidate you in any way?"

Emma shook her head. "Manipulate, maybe, but really, all she did was play up my insecurities. Like how was I going to hold down a job and raise a baby on my own, when I hadn't even finished high school yet, and someone was going to have to look after him while I was working…? All the stuff that was already scaring me." She closed her eyes. "She may have made adoption sound like the baby's best chance, but I'd already been thinking that way; it wasn't like she talked me into it, not really." Remembering the interactions now, though, she had to admit she had a bitter taste in her mouth."

"Emma," Neal said, "it's pretty much what our situation was. I was the one who stole the watches, took them to Oregon, and stashed them. You just picked them up from the storage locker. We both got arrested, but your sentence was less than half of mine."

"I know," Emma said. It still sounded to her like Dani had got off too easy.

"Actually, this simplifies things," Ray said. "If she were still in prison, visiting her would be a lot more complicated."

Right. Emma remembered the process from when she'd been trying to psych herself up to visit Neal. The form would have just been the first step. Neal would have had to agree to a face-to-face meeting. If it had been a phone call, she wouldn't have been able to phone in; he would have had to phone out. She hadn't had anyone to contact when she'd been in Durango, thought she suspected it would have been much the same: inmates didn't have a whole lot of rights, but the right to avoid dealing with unwanted visitors (assuming they weren't cops or lawyers or something) was one of them. A slow smile came to her face. "I can just go up to her and ask her, can't I?"

"Well, I'd still try phoning or writing," Ray said. "Email, if you can find it. But if she doesn't reply, you're fairly decent at finding people who don't want to be found these days, aren't you?"

Emma's smile grew bigger.

Emma spent the next morning in Miami serving papers. One of her targets, apparently, hadn't wanted to receive them and she'd had to chase her through the historic district, and down West Ash Street. She'd been out of breath and hyperventilating when she finally cornered her outside the Pickle Barrel trading post.

On the other hand, her quarry had been in even worse shape. After Emma had finally served the papers and snapped a photo for evidence, she'd given the woman an apologetic smile. "Want to get a Coke? My treat."

After a disbelieving stare, the woman, still panting, had slowly nodded.

"Wish I had a car," Emma wheezed, as she helped the woman to her feet. "It would have had air conditioning."

"I wish you did, too," the woman replied a bit ruefully. "I wouldn't have thought I had a chance at getting away if you were driving after me."

"Do they sell cold drinks in there?" Emma asked, jerking her head toward the trading post.

"I'm not sure, but it'll be cooler inside. We can catch our breaths." She shook her head. "Running in the desert isn't the smartest thing I've done in my life. Not the stupidest," she added, "but it's up there."

Emma nodded. "Sorry if I ruined your day. I'm Emma, by the way."

"Sonia." She winced. "But I guess you know that already," she added, holding up the manila envelope with the papers that Emma had just served her. "Uh… if you're really in the market for a car, my brother has one he's looking to sell."

"Yeah?"

Sonia nodded. "Oh, and my day was already lousy before you showed up, so don't worry about it." She gave her a pained smile. "I knew this was coming; I just… it's one more thing I don't need right now. But running was dumb."

Emma sighed. "I've done a few dumb things in my life, too. C'mon. Let's cool off. If we're really lucky there'll be a soda fridge in there after all. If not, we're only a couple of blocks from Lorraine's. She makes this incredible raspberry cream cheese pie." Or at least, she had three years ago, when Emma had been working there.

"You got that right," Sonia replied with the first genuine smile Emma had seen on her face. "I gotta admit, I could go for a slice right about now."

Emma smiled back. "Like I said, my treat."

The pie was every bit as good as Emma remembered. And Sonia was… nice. Emma wasn't sure why she needed to appear in court, but as the two of them talked, she found herself hoping that whatever the reason, it would work out in Sonia's favor.

She was just about to ask Sonia if there was anything else she needed when her cell phone rang. "Excuse me," she murmured, wondering why she'd ever let Ray talk her into getting one of these things. She wasn't sure she liked being reachable twenty-four-seven. On the other hand, she'd only given the number to Ray and Neal. There was at least a fifty-fifty chance that it was work-related. With a mental sigh, she fished the phone out of her pocket and took the call.

"Yeah?"

It was Ray. "Are you still in Miami?"

"Yeah. Sorry, I'm heading back in a few."

"You might not want to do that," Ray said. "How… tired are you?"

Now that she'd had a chance to catch her breath and unwind? "Not very. Why, what's up?"

"Gutierrez called."

For a moment, Emma didn't know to whom he was referring. Then it hit her. "Dani?"

"She's agreed to a meeting with you. This evening in Phoenix, if you can make it. Where are you right now? I can pick you up."

Right. There wouldn't be a bus at this hour. Or until tomorrow. Suddenly that car Sonia had said her brother was selling sounded even more appealing. If she'd had the money for a down payment on her, she might have asked her new friend to set up a viewing today. As it was, she gave Ray the address and he said he'd be there in twenty minutes.

Dani had always been thin, but now she looked haggard. Still, she greeted Emma and Ray pleasantly and offered them coffee, which both politely declined. She shrugged, poured herself a cup and then, instead of drinking it, lit a cigarette. After a moment, she smiled self-consciously. "Bad habit, I know," she muttered. "Sorry. Picked it up in prison."

"I'm not judging," Emma said. "Though, I'd think a nurse would—"

"Yeah, well, I'm not that anymore," Dani replied. "My license was revoked when the story broke about my involvement." She sighed. "I'm not going to pretend I think it was unfair, but it still sucks." She took a puff on her cigarette. "So," she smiled and continued with a hint of her old friendly smile, "how are you, Emma?"

Emma blinked. "Good," she said carefully.

"You're working with a PI firm, I see?"

"Uh, got my full PI li…" Her voice trailed off for a moment. "License," she finished firmly, hoping that it didn't sound like she was rubbing in the fact that she had a professional license now and Dani had lost hers. Not that she really cared if her words were stinging, except that if Dani chose to take offense, odds are she wasn't going to want to give Emma the information she was hoping for.

For a moment, Dani regarded her coolly. Then she grinned and, for a moment, she looked very much the way she had when Emma had first met her. "That's wonderful," she said, and there was no doubting the sincerity. "I'm so glad you're doing well for yourself."

"Yeah," Emma said, swallowing a bit. "I… uh… Thanks for agreeing to meet with me."

"I almost didn't," Dani admitted. "I'm trying to move on with my life and leave my past behind. Your phone call opened up a lot of old memories I didn't feel like revisiting. Not that any of that's your fault, of course," she added. "So. What can I do for you?"

Emma took a deep breath. "Do you know what happened to my son?"

Dani frowned. "I… guess he went to a good home, like Ross promised you. He… might not have been a saint, but I know he did well by the people he was helping. Why? Have you learned anything?"

Emma shook her head. "I'm trying to. That's why I reached out. I want to find him."

"Emma," Dani said, taking on the same sad empathy Emma had grown to expect from her during her pregnancy, "it was a closed adoption. That was what you agreed to. That means no contact."

"I know what it means," Emma said. "I just want to know that he's okay. That he's happy. I don't even know his name or what color his eyes are. Does he like tacos or-or cinnamon in his hot cocoa? Has he got a dog? What does he like to read? What do his parents do? I have so many questions and—"

"And I can't answer them," Dani said. "Ross handled all of the actual placements. He vetted the adoptive parents. I… just tried to help girls in your situation get a chance to move past their mistakes."

"Mistakes?" Emma repeated. "Giving up my kid was the biggest mistake I ever made!"

"Not getting involved with stolen property and bad influences?"

Gentle though Dani's tone was, the question still hurt. Out of the corner of her eye, Emma saw Ray drawing closer to her, a silent support. She forced down the urge to slap the other woman across the face and gritted out, "No."

Dani exhaled. "At any rate, whether you regret it or not, you signed a contract."

"Yeah," Emma snapped, still reeling. "And I was a minor when I did. You told me that I was too young to consent to having sex with a guy over eighteen, but somehow I was old enough to sign a contract I didn't understand until it was too late?"

"It was the best chance for you and your baby," Dani maintained. "Something the law wasn't taking into consideration. Emma, how many hours a week do you work?"

"What?"

"Are you working full-time?"

"Yes."

"Overtime?"

"Yeah, sometimes."

"Weekends?"

"If I have to."

"Do you think you'd be able to keep those hours if you had a four-year-old to look after?"

"No," Emma glowered, "but if I had my son, I wouldn't have tried to get a PI license. I'd be doing something else."

"With barely a high school education. Juggling rent, childcare, groceries, work… Emma, do you really think you could have found anything that would have let you make ends meet and still be there for your child?"

"I don't know," Emma said slowly, fighting to keep her voice calm. "But I wish I'd had the chance to find out." She took a breath. "Look. I can't change the past. I know that. But I still want to be a part of my son's future. Don't you remember anything about what happened to him?"

"There were a lot of kids in his situation," Dani said flatly. "Too many. And in yours, too. I didn't keep track. And Ross didn't tell me much." She smiled bitterly. "I couldn't testify about what I didn't know."

Emma sighed. "Fine. I get it. Sorry to have bothered you."

"New England," Dani said suddenly.

"Sorry, what?"

"Ross told me that he'd been placing babies mostly in the Midwest and in California. And then, right around the time that he met with you, he told me that he'd been approached by someone in New England… Massachusetts or Maine; I think it started with an 'M'." She frowned. "Or maybe that was the city… Manchester? Marlborough? I'm sorry," she added. "I don't actually know if he sent your baby there; I wasn't the only person who was helping him find girls in your circumstances. Maybe he did send your son to Indiana or Wisconsin, after all; I couldn't say. But he was talking about New England right around the time you signed that contract."

Emma smiled. "Thanks," she said, with more warmth than she'd felt since she'd come here.

Dani shook her head. "Don't thank me. And don't expect fairy tale endings. Not in the real world."

In the car, Ray looked at her in concern. "You okay?"

"I will be," Emma sighed. "Damn." She was not going to cry. Or swear ('damn' was so mild, it probably didn't count as swearing anyway). Or stomp her foot through the floor of Ray's 1992 Honda, just because Dani hadn't said she'd been wrong to encourage Emma to give up her baby. "I was hoping for… Damn, I don't know what I was hoping for."

"Yeah, you do," Ray said.

After a moment, Emma nodded. "Yeah, I do. I was hoping she remembered the name and the full address and had a contact phone and that when I called the adopting family, they'd say they totally understood and they'd bring him home to me next week. Or at least, they'd let me talk to him and make plans to meet a few times so he could get used to me first." She shook her head bitterly. "Stupid, right?"

"Hopeful," Ray said. "And there's nothing wrong with that. At least, you have some idea where to start looking."

"Sure," Emma snorted. "Maine or Massachusetts or Indiana or Wisconsin. And if not there, hell, there are another 46 states to check out. I should probably be able to handle that over the weekend." And there went her resolve not to swear again, plus she felt like she was about to cry. Maybe she ought to just focus on sparing the car floor.

"Emma," Ray said seriously, "I want you to know that it has been really great working with you, watching your skills and confidence grow, seeing how far you've come…"

"Why do I think there's a 'but' coming?" Emma asked, after a moment of silence.

Ray took a breath. "When I hired you, it was for a couple of reasons. I wasn't kidding about needing a data entry clerk. I think you know that. But more to the point, the day you walked through my door, you were trying to find a lead on your son and after these last few years, you've got the skills to start looking." He took a breath. "I think it's time you moved on."

"What?" Emma felt her heart lurch. She couldn't lose one of the few stable things in her life; not tonight. "I-I don't… I mean, I can't—"

"Yes," Ray said firmly. "Yes, you can. Now you've been working in the field for me for over three years. You're fully licensed in Arizona. You should check the requirements for other states; it varies, but even if you don't meet the qualifications everywhere, there are other fields that will let you use the skills you've acquired. I can't help you any more than that," he continued. "I have zero contacts in New England or the Mid-West. Best I can do is give you a glowing reference, and I'm happy to do so, but if your son is in Massachusetts—"

"I don't know if he is!"

"—Then that's where you start looking." He took another breath. "We do know that Anderson didn't place any of the babies he handled in Arizona or anywhere close to it. If your son isn't in Massachusetts, then you expand your search. But don't be like the guy who dropped a twenty somewhere on Eighth Street but went looking for it over on Second because the light was better there. If you want to find your son, you need to start looking where there's a chance he could be instead of where you know he isn't."

Emma let his words sink in. Finally, she nodded. "You know, if I go, there's a good chance you'll be losing Neal, too."

"I'm prepared for that sacrifice," Ray informed her dryly. "If it comes down to a custody battle, the courts are likely to look more favorably on a petition made by two parents who are, at the very least, living in the same city."

"I'll... talk things over with him tomorrow."

"You might want to get a car, too. Especially since you don't know how much traveling you're going to have to do once you get up there."

Emma smiled for the first time since she'd seen Dani again. "Funny you should mention that…"

"Thanks for coming with me to check it out," Emma smiled at Neal. "I'm not really sure what to look for besides the mileage."

"No problem," Neal grinned. "If you're driving to New England, you need something that can handle that kind of distance."

Emma nodded. She still wasn't sure if she was going. She'd run away from Boston at fourteen and never stepped foot in New England since. Plus, she liked her life here in Arizona. Still, even if she stayed, she had to admit that it was going to be easier to get into Phoenix—or Tucson or Scottsdale—if she wasn't relying on a once-a-day Greyhound. Her clients might pay her travel expenses, but they'd probably be happier paying for her gas than her bus tickets. Not to mention overnight accommodation if she couldn't get a bus back the same day.

When she'd related to Neal what Dani had told her, though, he'd started getting excited. "You know," he'd said, "I bet Ray would give us a couple of weeks off if we asked him. Probably not paid, but I've been saving up. Even if you don't want to move back up north, we could go see if we can track down the agency…"

Maybe his excitement hadn't been all that contagious, but by the time he'd walked her home, New England hadn't seemed quite as remote as it had when Ray had suggested it. They could go for a week or two, do as much fact-finding as they could, and see if there was anything worth pursuing. At the very least, they could talk to some PI firms up there and see if anyone would be willing to take on the investigation. Maybe, Emma thought, if those firms were trying to track down people in Arizona, they could come to some sort of arrangement. It was a longshot, but still, you never knew.

"I think this is the house," Neal's voice broke into her thoughts.

Emma checked the address. "Yeah," she nodded, turning up the walk. Neal followed.

The door was opened by a man in his early thirties who bore a passing resemblance to the woman Emma had served the day before. He looked the two of them up and down before breaking into a smile. "I guess you're Emma," he said. "Sonia told me about you. I'm Chris."

"Hi," Emma said. She introduced Neal a moment later and the two shook hands.

"Guess you want to see Herbie," Chris said.

"Herbie?" Neal repeated blankly and Chris grinned.

"My car," he explained, taking a step back inside and reaching for something out of their line of sight. A moment later, the garage door rose with a rumble. "We've been through some good times, but I guess all things gotta end at some point and," he shrugged, coming out of the house, "I'm ready to move on."

Emma and Neal followed him to the garage, where a white VW with racing stripes and a large '53' painted on the hood was parked.

"Fifty-Three?" Neal asked, with a smile.

"My lucky number," Chris grinned. "Actually, he was stolen from me a few years back. Exactly 53 weeks later, I got a call from the police that he'd been recovered from a parking garage in Oregon. No clue how he got there, but they were pretty good about shipping him back. Hang on a sec; I'll get him out in the sunlight." Without another word, he trotted for the driver-side door, oblivious to the startled expressions of his would-be buyers.

"The... uh… paint looks new," Neal murmured, once the car was out in the driveway and Chris was back with them.

"It is," Chris confirmed. "I know it sounds weird, but I wanted to do something nice for him when he came home. When I asked Sonia what she'd like as a welcome back present if she'd been away over a year, she suggested a makeover and the rest, as they say, is history." He smiled. "Guess you want to take him for a test drive?"

Emma walked around the car slowly. Then she peered in the back window and her breath caught. "Neal…" She pointed to the coffee stain on the grey upholstery.

"Oh," Chris winced. "Yeah, it was like that when I got him back. Sorry; it doesn't come out, but I can knock fifty off for you."

"Nah, that's… I mean," Neal took a breath. "Okay, sure. Emma, what do you think?"

Emma managed to nod.

Chris blinked. "No test drive? Uh, okay, well, the paperwork's in the house. Let me get that and you can fill it out and I guess we'll go from there. Give me a minute."

After he'd gone back inside, Emma turned to Neal. "Seriously? Neal, you put that coffee stain there!"

"Well, I couldn't tell him that!" Neal retorted. Then he broke into a laugh. "Can you believe this? It's our car! Only this time, it's going to be legal!"

Emma nodded, a smile breaking on her own face. "Maybe it's a sign," she said slowly. "Maybe we should drive up to New England. I sort of know my way around Boston. I guess it's as good a place to start looking as any."

"Now, you're talking!" Neal grinned. "Only before we start that road trip, I think I want to paint Ol' Herbie yellow again…"

A/N: Yes, Herbie was a 1963 VW Beetle and Emma's bug is a 1972 Super Beetle Type 1. Still, seeing as OUAT has a way of combining and repurposing existing characters… Hey, why not?