Author's note: This is going to be a longer one than usual because Ranko makes her debut in the beginning and I want to try my hand at describing a picture in excruciating detail, so sorry if it drags on a bit. While this series typically follows the plot of Dragonball, specifically the episodes where Roshi is prominent. There will be moments in this series where Roshi is in girl form and following the same plot which will change certain interactions and require a lot of original dialog. Also, to the ladies reading keep in mind I am a man, so I have zero fashion sense so if you think the outfit, I described Ranko in is ugly please forgive me. I'm open to ideas so message me if you want.

Chapter 3: A New Student and Launch!

Kame House, the Attic dressing room.

From a room in the attic of the KAME HOUSE came a strange smell of incense. In this room Roshi sat cross-legged with his eyes closed and hands resting on his knees. He didn't have his trademark sunglasses on today and was only wearing a white tank top and boxer shorts. He breathed deeply of the incense and felt his body begin to heat up as if he had immersed himself in a hot bath. Suddenly, the sensation changed from hot to intense cold, the sensation of a waterfall from a snow melt running down his head to his shoulders and all the way down to his feet.

He felt his form begin to change. His beard receded into his face while at the same time long flowing hair as white as his vanishing beard erupted from his bald scalp. He felt his skin tighten, and his bones crackle as they took a different shape. He felt new teeth that had long since fallen out emerge into his gums and his emaciated form gain new muscle, lithe, yet firm. The new hair on his head began to change color rapidly from white to silver and then to a deep red, meanwhile, his rejuvenating skin began to change color of cream. Finally, his chest began to swell forming two mounds. The newly formed young woman of about 25 opened her eyes, stood up and stretched.

"Ahh" she breathed. "It's been so long since my love let me out. He promised me a week, so I'll have to make the best of it. A night on the town would do me good."

The woman tip toed over to a closet. Her light foot fall didn't make a single sound and her toes barely disturbed the dust. Upon opening the closet, she pondered over a large selection of modern clothes, but none really struck her fancy.

"Hmm" she pondered. Perhaps I would prefer a more refined look."

She then went to the corner of the room and pulled a sheet off an old dresser. She opened the dresser and rummaged through the drawers pulling out a selection of outdated yet pretty women's clothing. All of the clothing was folded neatly and stored inside a vacuum plastic seal, as all the articles were indeed very old. Among the selections were many silk dresses of different styles (mostly Chinese) and some very daring undergarments. She took a few selections and walked behind a folding screen and quickly dressed. She stepped out in front of a full-length mirror and admired herself. She was wearing a blue Chinese style dress with a pattern of pink flower petals with a hemline well above the knees and white high heel shoes. To complete the ensemble, she whipped out a small fan with a floral design.

"Hmm" she pondered. "I love this outfit, but my red hair really clashes with it…I know!" She rushed over to the dresser again and pulled out a bottle. She then dashed downstairs to the bathroom and began to run water. A few hours later she was back in front of the mirror in the attic in the same dress except her hair was completely black, not a red hair in sight.

"What's the point in dying your hair?" Roshi's voice said in her head. "It'll just vanish when we change back."

"300 plus years and your still as clueless as ever when it comes to a woman's heart, my love" she sighed back. "You promised me a week of freedom, and this is the dress I want to wear! To me, it's worth wasting a bottle of hair dye to make it look good." She then went back to the dresser and began to rifle for something else.

"Hold on a second" he blurted. "Didn't that dress belong to Shampoo?"

"Hm? Does it?" she said in an innocent tone that would fool no one.

Now that their body was in a young form, so too was their brain, making their memory much sharper and he could remember the names he couldn't before. Synapsis fired rapidly in the brain as he continued to recognize the articles of clothing as the woman rifled through the packaged clothes in the dresser.

"Come to think of it, none of the clothes in that dresser belong to you!" he exclaimed. "That's Ukyo's favorite hair ribbon, she cried for a week when that went missing! And Nabiki's cutoff shorts she liked to wear in summer (she did have nice legs). That's Kasumi's swimsuit she wore when she won the beach contest! (I struggled not to stare that day). Oh my, Akane's yellow sundress (she looked so lovely in that dress). Wait, is that Kodachi's leotard? How on earth did you swipe that?! And why would you take it? And why don't I have any memory of it?"

"I liked them, so I took them" she said simply. "As for why you don't remember, it's because I stole them in the early days of the incense training."

She sensed comprehension and a little bitterness in Roshi's mind. In the early days of the training to control their curse, when one transformed, the other became dormant in the subconscious unlike now, in which they could communicate with each other constantly. Also, the female half still had mostly negative chi back then, about 90-10 bad to good chi ratio, which led to more hooligan behavior. Nowadays it is more evenly split, although a slight edge is still given to the bad chi.

The young woman opened up another drawer in the dresser and pulled out several purses of different styles and colors, finally deciding on a small white one. Taking one more look into the mirror she contemplated her appearance.

"Hmm, something's missing. Oh yeah!" She reached into the purse and pulled out a small eye contact case. She opened it and placed the contacts in, changing her eyes from bright blue to a warm chocolate color. Looking in the mirror again she looked nothing like the young red headed girl from before, except for heavy eye shadow which for some reason always appeared automatically, and the trademark pig tail which she just didn't feel right without. And as a final touch she picked up a bottle of perfume and gave two measured spritzes. She sniffed and was satisfied with the flowery scent. She winked in the mirror and bounded off down the stairs.

Kame House, Downstairs

She had barely reached the landing when a voice from outside bellowed.

"HEEEYYY MAAASSSTERRR ROSHIIII!"

The now black-haired woman froze. "Is that Goku?" she whispered. "What on earth is he doing back here already?"

The door opened and the spikey haired boy entered the house calling again, "Master Roshi?" The boy then spotted the woman, and they locked eyes. She decided to make the first move.

"Who are you boy? And what do you think you're doing just barging into someone's house without knocking? Don't you have any manners?" She had decided to pretend to be a stranger as Goku had never seen her before and it would be very difficult to explain the nature of her curse to such a small boy.

"I'm sorry sir" the said bowing in apology. "My name is Goku. I'm looking for the Turtle Hermit, this is his house and he promised to train me."

"Training?" Roshi repeated in her head. "Oh right! I did indeed promise him that. He is Gohan's legacy after all."

The young woman's cheeks puffed up in a pout. She knew Goku would be coming after his quest for the Dragonballs was complete, but she didn't believe he'd be back so soon. Her other half had promised her a week of freedom and it was likely she'd have to give that up if Goku was to be trained. She quickly recovered her wits and set her face straight before answering.

"Yes, I know all about you young one" she answered coolly. "You are much earlier than expected. You may call me…Ranko. I am Roshi's last remaining family member, and I come to check on him once in a while. And I'm afraid master Roshi is out for a while. It may be some days before his return."

"Oh darn" Goku lamented. "I guess I'll just hang out here until he comes back." With that Goku stepped back outside and retrieved some belongings including some bedding, and some clothes. Suddenly there was a very loud grumbling sound and Goku held his tummy with a pained expression. "I'm starving" he moaned.

Ranko sighed and sat down on the couch and pulled out a compact mirror and a tube of lipstick from the small purse. "Feel free to help yourself to something from the fridge in the kitchen. I'll wait here awhile for the old man to return."

Goku dashed into the kitchen and opened the fridge and laughed in delight. From the living room Ranko could clearly hear the banging and thumping of someone rifling through the fridge. She didn't pay much attention to it as she was applying lipstick while also having a furious mental discussion with Roshi in her head.

"We'll have to switch back." Roshi urged.

"Hell no! I was promised a week!" She argued back as she applied lipstick.

"The situation has changed. Goku came early. If I am too train him, I need to be present."

"I can train him just as well! Or at least get him started." She switched from lipstick to concealer. "And besides, YOU. PROMISED. ME."

"He doesn't really know you though. And he came to train under me after all." said Roshi placatingly. When she continued to fume, he then added, "Well perhaps we can make an arrangement."

She put the makeup back in the small purse and closed it with a haughty snap that went unheard from the rustling noises Goku was making in the kitchen. "What kind of arrangement?" she said dangerously.

"Well…" Roshi said hesitantly. "Perhaps if you convince young Goku to find me a girl to keep me company during training…"

As expected, Ranko became furious. "So, I have to feed your increasing habit of perversion in order to have my deserved time off?! I'm disappointed in you Happusai 2.0."

Roshi sputtered angrily inside her mind. "How dare you compare me to that disgusting little gremlin! I won't deny I've become a bit of a letcher in my old age, but, in my case it's a recent development! That geezer was always a little monster who stole women's panties, felt of up girls without their consent, and a multitude of other things! At least I create the pretext of a date!"

Ranko said nothing to this argument but simply sighed in resignation. "Very well, I'll see what I can do." She rose from the couch and walked to the kitchen.

"Goku, I need a favor- WHAT ON EARTH?" she screamed. What she found in the kitchen was an enormous pile of empty food containers on the floor, the fridge and freezer door was wide open, and all the shelves were completely empty and laying in the middle of the wreckage was Goku, his pants unbuttoned, and his face covered in food stains, the only thing left untouched was the alcohol. Ranko collapsed to her knees in shock and muttered, "He even ate the last stick of butter…"

After a quick clean up of the kitchen and Goku took a bath as he was filthy, Ranko fixed herself a cocktail with what was left in the kitchen, and they settled into the living room. She took a deep swig of her drink and sighed, "Geez kid, you could do with some manners! Seriously, who eats every last scrap of food in someone's house? No consideration at all!" She took another swig and thought to herself, "An appetite like that he just might be part Saotome.."

"I'm sorry, my tummy can sometimes get carried away" he said sheepishly.

"It's fine I suppose, you are a growing boy after all" she replied. "Anyway, I've been in contact with Roshi, and it may be a few days before he comes home. He's asked me to look after you until he comes back."

Goku looked disappointed, "A few days? Darn, where did he go?"

"It doesn't matter" Ranko snapped. "What does matter is that there are certain conditions he wants met before he trains you."

"Conditions? Like what?" Goku asked.

Ranko drained her glass and took a deep breath as if it was taking great strength to say what the condition was. "You are to find the old man a date. That is, a young girl who can...keep him company."

Goku looked at her confused but still willing. "Ok, I think I can do that. But what's that have to do with fighting?"

"Absolutely nothing" Ranko thought to herself, but out loud she said, "The old man's training is exhausting, and you boys won't have a lot of time for housekeeping or even cooking your own meals. It'd be good to have someone around to function as both maid and cook, as well as decent company for an old geezer."

"Good cover" Roshi whispered in her head. "And it's not completely inaccurate either. We'll have precious few moments outside training to do things like cook."

Goku seemed to buy it though and grinning he headed outside and hopped on the nimbus, but before he took off Ranko stepped onto the porch and stopped him.

"Hold on! Do you even know what your looking for?" she asked.

"I think I do" said Goku. "You want me to find someone who'll be the master's friend, right?"

Ranko grinned indulgently. "In essence, yes but I was talking about physical appearance. The old man will want a young woman, but not too young. Good skin and beauty are important too. Basically, get a girl that looks like me!" She struck a pose and winked.

Goku looked nonplussed and hopped down from the nimbus. "Like you?" he asked. He then reached up and patted Ranko's crotch.

Ranko flushed deep red, knocked his hand away and spluttered, "W-w-what do you think you're doing you little pervert!?"

Goku smiled and laughed. "Oh, so you are a girl! I couldn't really tell."

Ranko's face turned purple with rage and lashed out with a kick of such blinding speed that Goku couldn't have even seen the blur, even if he was on guard. The impact sent Goku sprawling backwards into the sea where he bounced like a skipping stone on the surface of the water about four times before going beneath the waves. Although the kick was swift, it wasn't strong enough to knock Goku out and he quickly recovered and with the help of the nimbus he came back to the island.

"Ow!" he cried while holding the back of his head. "What was that for?"

Roshi sniggered in her mind.

"SHUT UP!" she yelled at both of them. Before she could berate either of them more, she became distracted by a dot in the distance on the sea.

Following her gaze, Goku asked, "What's that? I hope it's food, I'm starving!" Ranko had to grab a palm tree for support to keep from face faulting into the sand.

As the dot got closer it was revealed that it was in fact not food. It was a boat, and it had a single passenger of a small boy of about Goku's age. The boat was still about 50 yards out before it came to a stop. The boy grabbed his small traveling pack and leapt from the boat high into the air, doing several flips. It seemed he was going to land perfectly on the beach, but it seemed he did one too many flips and landed headfirst in the soft sand. The boy lay stuck there for a moment before kicking his legs to try and free himself.

"Who's this goofball?" said Ranko. "Well, you better help him out, Goku."

Goku nodded and grabbed hold of the boys legs and pulled hard. The boy came out of the ground with a *POP*. The boy stood up blushing slightly as he brushed the sand off himself. His head was completely shaven, and he was about the same height as Goku and wore the training Gi of a temple monk. "Thanks" he muttered and looked up at Ranko.

"Um, excuse me miss, isn't this the home of the great Master Roshi?" he asked tentatively.

Ranko eyed him shrewdly. "Indeed, it is, but he is away right now. I am Ranko, his relative, why have you come here?"

The young boy swallowed and bowed respectfully said, "My name is Krillin, I have traveled hundreds of miles from a village far to the East to receive the tutelage of the great Master Roshi so I can further my skills and become a great fighter."

"That's quite a distance for one so young" said Roshi in her head. "Unfortunately, I do not train just any vagabond or young lad who appears on my doorstep. Tell him to give up."

Ranko shook her head and replied, "Sorry kid, you've come a long way for nothing. The master simply isn't accepting any more students at the moment. You can rest here a bit as you've had a long journey, but I'm afraid you'll have to leave afterwards."

Krillin frowned and said determinedly, "No offense miss Ranko, but as I have come a very long way and expected some resistance, I would rather hear it from the master himself. I'll simply wait for the master's return." He then rummaged through his pack and brought out a bunch of dirty magazines. "I brought gifts."

A vein throbbed in Ranko's temple and was seconds away from catapulting the boy from the island, but Goku interfered.

"Um, I'm gonna go find a lady friend for the master now, is that alright?" he asked jumping on his nimbus.

Ranko was about to angrily tell him to just go already but Roshi spoke up. "Now hold on a second, I'm not sure the boy knows what to look for. Based on those magazines he brought I trust he knows my tastes. If he succeeds in helping Goku find one, I'll train both of them."

Ranko closed her eyes to gather her composure and took a deep breath. After a moment opened them and spoke, "Wait just one moment Goku." She turned around and regarded Krillin, "Boy, I've decided to put in a good word for you with the master, but only if you can help Goku find a girl."

When Krillin looked confused, she elaborated on Goku's task and why Krillin was to go along. A twinkle appeared in his eye, and he held himself confidently. "Don't worry miss Ranko, I understand what will please the master perfectly!" With that he attempted to jump on the nimbus but sank right through.

Ranko approached him as he lay on the beach, "Only those with pure thoughts can ride the nimbus cloud. Which means you're concealing something!"

Krillin panicked and apologized profusely, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hide anything!" He lifted his pack and shook it open and out poured many, many, more dirty magazines. "I only showed you the first one because it seemed to do the trick! Please don't tell the master!"

The withering glare that Ranko wore on her face would have caused the worlds most macho, stoic man to deflate and apologize. And inside her head even Roshi was quite intimidated by the rage swimming through her head.

"Easy now" he urged. "Easy, he's still young you know."

"So, what's your excuse?" she thought back nastily. But she didn't wait for a reply, instead she took a deep breath and said to Krillin, "Very well, just hop on Goku's back and hang on. I'll dispose of these" she motioned to the pile of books.

"Now hold on, you don't have to-" Roshi started but was stopped by the wave of fresh fury that surged through their shared head.

Krillin did as he was told and grabbed onto Goku's shoulders, and the nimbus cloud took off before Ranko could scold him again. When they were out of sight, Ranko turned towards the pile of magazines and took a lighter out of her purse.

A few hours later

Leaving the burnt ashes of the evil books on the beach, Ranko went back into the house and into the restroom. She looked sadly in the mirror. "It looks like I'm not going to get my night on the town" she said to the mirror. She ran water from the sink and began to wash off the make up she had applied, everything except the trademark eye shadow that always was present in their female form.

She then returned to the attic dressing room and removed her gorgeous dress and returned to the corner dresser. She pulled out the white cutoff shorts that had belonged to Nabiki long ago and an orange t-shirt that said "Boy" on the front. Her hair, however, was still dyed black, and she had not taken out the brown contacts. She descended downstairs barefoot and went into the kitchen to fix herself another drink. She had barely taken a sip before the familiar voice of Goku barreled into her ears,

"HEEEYYYY MIIISSS RAAANNNKOOOO!"

Ranko kicked open the door and yelled, "Would you quit shouting! For heavens sake just knock on the door for once."

Ranko then noticed that the two boys had not returned alone. Standing on the beach talking with Krillin and looking somewhat puzzled was a thin, beautiful young girl who couldn't have been a day over 18. She had long curly blue-black hair and warm dark eyes that reminded Ranko and Roshi very strongly of Akane. She was wearing a red hair ribbon in her hair, a green crop tank top that showed off her belly, yellow shorts, red shoes and brown fingerless gloves. She had a duffel bag at her feet which was full to bursting.

"Wow, she'll do, eh? Nice work boys!" Roshi commented.

Ranko sipped her cocktail through a straw and didn't respond. She looked the young woman up and down taking in her appearance. There was no way that Goku picked this girl out, she thought. Krillin probably scouted her, but Goku probably did the talking. And she was able to ride the nimbus, so she was clearly a good person. Ranko stepped off the porch and approached the young woman.

"Come on switch with me!" Roshi begged.

Ranko ignored him and spoke in a perky girlfriendy way, "Hello! I'm Ranko! I'm a relative of the master of this island. I trust the boys have informed you on as to why we brought you here."

Launch regarded Ranko and said hesitantly, "Actually no, Krillin and I were just discussing that. You see these boys actually saved my life not too long ago, so we didn't have much discussion. From what he's told me so far, the master of this island just wants some company. But I'm suspicious of the implications of "company" if you understand."

Ranko raised an eyebrow. "They saved your life huh? From what prey tell? And as for company, don't worry about it. The master has lived on this island alone for a long time and I only visit occasionally so he's quite lonely. You'll fill the role of housekeeper as well, because he will be busy training his new pupils day and night." She pointed to the boys as she said this last part.

Launch clasped her hands together and sighed in relief.

"Oh, is that all!" she said excitedly. "That works pretty well for me actually! It would give me a place to lay low for a while."

"Laying low?" Ranko asked and her face became suspicious. She turned to Krillin and said, "What did you rescue her from again?"

Krillin looked up and said, "When we found her, she was cornered by two men with pistols drawn. They seemed to be pretending to be police officers. Goku leapt into action before asking any questions and beat them up.

"Oh, no!" said Launch. "They were real police officers!"

Ranko gave Launch a blank stare for a moment before asking. "And why exactly were the police after you?"

"Well," said Launch heaving up her duffel bag and opening it, "From the looks of my bag I must have robbed a bank of two."

She held out the bag so everyone could see the contents, upon seeing the massive wads of cash, everyone's eyes bulged, and face faulted. Ranko struggled to regain her composure and asked,

"You're a criminal? But you seem pretty pure. You wouldn't be able to ride the nimbus otherwise!"

"Oh, I didn't actually do it you see" she answered quickly. "You see, whenever I sneeze, I change. I have another personality in me that's pretty violent."

And as if to illustrate her point, a sudden gust of wind blew some dust into her nose, and she sneezed. The change was instantaneous. Her long dark hair turned bright blonde, and her warm dark eyes turned a dazzling bright green. There was no warmth or gentle curiosity in her gaze, just pure anger. This new woman took in her surroundings.

"Where are those pathetic cops?" she grumbled. "This doesn't look like a jail…" She then spotted Ranko and the two boys staring at her in pure shock. "And just what are you staring at, huh!?" she yelled. She then reached into her duffel and pulled out a machine gun and started firing at them.

The boys danced around in terror trying to avoid the bullets. Ranko, however, took a defensive stance and with a look of concentration, spread out her arms. Suddenly she began moving her hands so quickly that they blurred, making it seem like she had 100 hands.

"Tenshin Amaguriken!" she yelled as her hands dashed through the air.

After a few moments the bullets stopped coming and the gun clicked, she had run out of bullets. Launch stared in amazement as she observed Ranko's hands that had stopped moving. Rank then opened her closed fists and tumbling to the ground were dozens of bullets.

"What the-" Bad Launch had started to say when another sudden gust blew a lock of her own hair over her nose, and she sneezed again. Her hair had returned to the blue-black color and her eyes were dark brown again. She took in the scene, gasped and dropped the gun in her hand. "Oh, no! Did she hurt you?" I told you she has a temper!"

"You know what, I think we should keep looking for other help" said Roshi fretfully in her head.

Ranko smiled and answered back, "Oh I don't think so my love. A girl like this can take care of herself and make you keep your dirty hands to yourself!"

She approached Launch and said, "Congratulations! You're a perfect fit!" and shook her hand. Launch looked confused but pleased. Goku and Krillin looked completely terrified.

"Wh-what have I gotten myself into?" Krillin mumbled.

End of Chapter 3

Authors note: It may be awhile before the next chapter. I'll try to get it done by 2-20-24 at the latest.