Sometimes, the Author just wants to relax.
My name is Hikigaya Hachiman. I am a Japanese citizen, who, by the strange twist of fate, has mysteriously arrived in another world, one where modern technology is all but nonexistent and all the classical elements of high fantasy exist.
In other words, your standard isekai fare.
For the past 9 months, I have begun steadily accumulating resources, skills, and ideas in order to prepare for expeditions of increasing length which would continue to propel me deeper and deeper into the Dungeon. I am enrolled in two professions: one as a cook for the tavern the Hostess of Fertility, an all-female(excluding me) tavern which caters to all manners of people, and as an adventurer with the most basic Status upon his back.
Currently, I am facing a crisis which I never would've believed possible in this sort of high fantasy world. It is something that threatens my existence, and even now I can feel the scorching heat of this threat on my body, leaving me to suffering of nigh-unimaginable degrees.
There is no air conditioner in this world.
You heard me the first time. Despite this world being an anachronistic stew of ideas appropria–errrr, reinvented by the author, they neglected the almighty air conditioner. Fantasy counterparts to modern devices DO, in fact, exist in this world; for an example, take the stove I'm currently using. It's powered by magic stones, which are basically environmentally-disposable magical batteries. There're also electrical lights–well, what passes for electricity in this world, anyways. There's even refrigerators.
But no air conditioners? Not even an electrical fan? This is outrageous! Outrageous, I tell you! As a Japanese youth who's alway enjoyed the luxurious draft of artificially cooled air, the air conditioner is one of the most powerful inventions ever created!
People may tell you, "The pen is mightier than the sword," but what they fail to realize is that with the air conditioner, even the pen is rendered null as you wish to do nothing but bask in the cold wind that refreshes you from the oppressing heat of summer! Such is the power of human inventions!
I broke the monologue as I finished preparing the dish, sliding it over to the waitresses' station. "Hey, order for Table 4's ready." There was no reply at first.
Then a groan. "Ughhhh, today is so hot, nyaaa. I don't want to work at all today, nyaaa. Let me stay up here, nyaaa." Anya was curled up on top of the refrigerator like an oversized cat, whining and meowing about the heat. Aren't you Level 4? Shouldn't you have a higher constitution and endurance stat than me? I'm suffering too, okay?
Such is the life of a viewpoint character in omakes, side stories, and extras. To appropriately demonstrate our humanity, the main cast is inevitably thrust sometimes willingly, mostly not, into a slice-of-life situation where we are completely human in order to flesh out personalities further and introduce aspects of the world around us. As a result, the main character will suffer frequently from things that shouldn't usually threaten them, including sudden injuries, sudden bouts of pervertedness which usually occur in beach and onsen episodes, and sometimes even crazier situations such as being forced to suffer from an untimely fate in an alternate timeline(deleted scenes). Well, this is all hypothetical, of course. There's no chance of that happening in this sort of world, is there?
I can understand the motive behind writing these types of episodes, though. Sometimes the author himself just wants to take a step back from all the story-telling and the fighting and the worldbuilding and just have some fun with his characters. He wants to show off that the characters have their daily struggles, interactions, and fun, just like any other human being. Well, I am just like any other human being, minus the fact that I have a Status, but I'm an ordinary character. Unfortunately, there was no room for fun in this world where the top priority was working as steadily and speedily as possible towards gaining strength, knowledge, and the like to make it to the bottom of the Dungeon.
And while I've embarked on this lengthy monologue, in the real world I'm still waiting for someone to pick up the order for Table 4 and actually deliver it. "Anya, if you don't get down here I'm going to call for Mia this instant." Mia wasn't actually here at the tavern today, because she was running some errands for her old friends or acquaintances, but I could always just compile a report and hand it to her later, which would achieve the same results–namely involving a fist, the wooden floor of the tavern, and a catgirl's head which would be buried there.
"Nya! No, don't call her, nya! I'll work, nya!" In the blink of an eye Anya instantly jumped off the refrigerator, dashed to the station, picked up the plate and headed into the customer area. I suppressed a small smirk as I watched her instantly try to become the perfect waitress to avoid attracting the wrath of Mia. Even Anya, a Level 4, feared Mia, and by proxy me, since I was probably the most diligent worker there.
This was what we called the SAIKYOU POWAA! [Insert menacing kanji here.] If I could do an evil laugh, I would've done one by now. Because I can't, I'll have to make do with an evil glint in my dead-fish eyes.
Honestly though, Anya was right. Today was scorchingly hot. If I concentrated, I could literally see the cobblestone streets outside shimmer like I was in a desert. Under such conditions none of us were particularly motivated to work, and there were almost no customers at all.
As the last patron slowly shuffled out of the tavern, Syr shut the doors with a small smile on her face. It seemed that the afternoon break had arrived. Meanwhile, I noticed that Anya, May, and the last two faceless members of the staff had seated themselves down around a table, which was the usual thing they always did during breaks. I never stuck around to find out what exactly they did, though, because I obviously had way better things to do.
"Are you going to join us, Hikinya?" Anya's voice called out to me as I tidied up the kitchen. "You seem free today, nya."
"For what?" My plans had not involved anything special. I had originally planned to head to the Guild and absorb more resources and information in order to keep researching for potential familia candidates as well as the 6th and 7th Floors of the Dungeon, and more.
"Well, that's a secret you'll have to find out~" Flova teased coyly.
Flova used Tease!
It's not very effective.
"Not interested. Bye." I turned to leave with no visible change in my expression whatsoever. If you think something on that level is going to make me panic or get nervous Flova, then you're dead wrong. Thanks to the constant antics of Isshiki Iroha, the Strongest Kouhai, my mental fortitude has increased by over 300 percent ever since the start of my 2nd year in high school! Mental attacks on such a lowly level are now completely ineffective against me!
"Wait wait wait, hold on!" Flova instantly stumbled over her words due to my perfectly deadpan reply. "If you want to know, we're playing poker. Come on, Hikigaya-san. You've been working so hard in the past couple of months, you deserve to take a break!"
"Syr's right, nya!" Anya chimed in. "You need to relax, nya! All work and no play makes for a boring Hikinya."
"I don't have time to waste on this, sorry." However, before I can make it to the doorway, Anya instantly appears in front of me, blocking my one route to escape.
"Just one game, Hikinya! If you win, we'll let you do whatever, nya!"
"..." Having no choice, I sat down at the table as Flova took out a well-worn pack of cards and began shuffling them while Anya spent some time explaining suits and hands. Not that she really needed to, though. I'd studied my fair share of card games back when I believed I would be able to entertain my friends if I were to make any in middle school. Alas, for the wasted time and woes of youth! At least those skills would still come in handy today. The only difference was in the suites of cards–instead of the traditional spades, hearts, diamonds, and clubs I was used to, it was instead swords, fruits, coins, and cups.
My plan was to win this one game and then go do some more research in the Guild.
By the looks of it, however, Anya and Flova weren't going to let me do as I please. Anya had an unusually determined look on her face today as she received her hand, and Flova… well, today, her sweet smile and seemingly innocent eyes were reminding me more than just a little of a certain older sister of a certain ice queen. It was a look that instinctively made me shiver.
The girls in the tavern played with wooden chips with various numbers inscribed on them, with 4 types of chips: 10, 50, 100, and 500. Everyone started out with 1000, split into variable chips which were distributed evenly to the 5 of us.
The variant was 5-card draw poker, which meant after each player placed an ante, they were dealt 5 cards. After they received their cards, the players would bet accordingly in clockwise starting from the dealer. Once the 1st round of betting was finished, the players would be allowed to exchange up to 3 cards from the deck, and after another round of betting the player with the best hand would win. In this case, the ante was 50.
I took one look at my hand, then around the table and instantly–"Fold." Pushing my cards towards the center of the circle, I instantly withdrew from the round, to the surprise of Anya, May, and two of the other faceless staff members. The only one who was unsurprised was Flova.
"That's such a shame, Hikigaya-san. I didn't even have a good hand, you know~" Don't say that with that look in your eyes, Flova. I can practically feel your smirk through your gaze. Nothing on that level's going to have a chance of fooling me.
I folded the next two rounds and proceeded to watch as the others promptly lost a pile of money to Flova due to their overconfidence as Flova led them around like she was guiding little children. This was actually scary, though. Flova's cutesy, innocent mask might've been below par for someone like me, but her ability to read people was scarily good. She played the game with a manner as if she could easily read every single lie, every single bluff, and every single deception that Anya, May, and the others attempted. In the 3rd round, one of the faceless staff members folded, finally running out of chips and retiring from the game.
Finally, the 4th round came, and everyone remaining was almost broke, save for me, who still had a high stack of chips due to folding for the past 3 rounds, and Flova, of course, who was sitting behind a mountain of chips.
As I drew, however, this time I didn't fold, instead pushing 200 into the pot.
"Hikinya finally makes his move, nya." Anya muttered before she pushed a large portion of her remaining chips into the pot.
"Finally fighting it out now, Hikigaya-san?" Flova threw that same gentle smile across the room at me, but it bounced right off my mental defenses like a beach ball. In response, I laid my cards down on the table and fixed my gaze on her eyes, doing my best to channel the impression of the "dead-fish" expression which had disgusted Yukinoshita and Hiratsuka-sensei alike, which was, of course, the usual expression I had on my face.
Hikigaya used Intimidate!
It's not very effective.
"How interesting." Flova tittered, completely unaffected. Well, I had expected as much.
Another round of betting followed, with Flova only raising minimally, unlike before. Then came the reveal–
"Two pairs, 8s and 9s, nya." Anya.
"Pair." May.
"Two pair." Flova.
"Uwahh, high card…" the faceless member, who was down to her last chips in the pot.
As it came on me, I flipped my hand over, revealing– "Flush." With my other hand, I scooped up all the chips and added them to my pile, increasing it by a rather sizable amount. Faceless Member #2 quietly retired from the table while May and Anya looked increasingly panicked.
A couple more rounds passed, where I folded repeatedly as May, then Anya, were eliminated by Flova, who carried the same gentle smile on her face the whole time.
"Well, Hikigaya-san, since it seems to come down to the two of us, can I suggest adding a new condition–" With that same smile on her face, Flova proposed adding something new.
Flova used New Condition Proposal!
It's not very effective.
"No." I shot her down instantly. Play coy and innocent all you want, Flova, but that condition probably only works to your advantage and eliminates mine by taking away my option of retreat, which most likely involves a penalty for folding. Sorry to tell you, but I clearly know that it's certain death for me if I do that. I'm not idiotic.
As such, we continued playing in the regular fashion, the two of us battling it out on the field. And then, I finally "slipped up". I could tell instantly just from looking at Flova's eyes that my tightening of the mouth upon seeing the sloppy hand I drew was something she would capitalize upon. This was a battle of attrition that I couldn't exactly hope to win, and because I folded so many times, I was gradually bleeding out of my pile. Flova's pile was so big that folding barely affected her.
In the end, I had to stand my ground or I'd lose anyway. But there was no need to worry. I had a plan. Hikigaya Hachiman always has a plan.
Throwing out three cards, I exchanged, and as Flova did the same, her eyes lit up and she smiled at me. "Raise 200. Do you want to give up, Hikigaya-san? I might be holding a full house, you know~"
I glared at her as I proceeded to push half of my chips into the pile, pretending to put on a more confident facade. "Raise 380, Flova. Or are you too scared?" I made sure to inject just a bit of shakiness into the voice to add credibility to the faux-confidence I had.
There were 3 ways to win against Flova. The first was to be extremely lucky–lucky to the point of getting the most powerful hands with every draw. Because that was a bullshit story-breaking power reserved only for MCs, that method was immediately eliminated. The second way was to be the ultimate bluffer–which was accomplished through not looking at your cards at all, wagering the souls of multiple of your companions(and your mother), raising the stakes by having the opposing player tell you the secret of DIO's stand if you lost, and carrying a face of stone the entire time. Seeing as I didn't have a blue time-stopping punching "ORA-ORA" screaming ghost to assist me in the bluff with the materialization of cigarettes and a drink, this method was also not viable. The third method was to create a lapse in judgement, and that was the method I went for.
After all, in poker games I didn't really need to play myself off as a conniving, cunning schemer. That was an inhumane feat and Flova would've seen through it immediately. All I had to do was put on a singular, realistic act which would cause a lapse of judgement. A small shake in one's voice. A slight tightening of the mouth. An unnatural blink in the eyes.
Humans express their emotions and their current state of mind through mainly body language. Words were an insufficient vessel for which to convey intent, and oftentimes they could be misconstrued to mean something else. That was why body behavior and other forms of nonverbal communication were the best ways in which to convey something. I was talented at communicating in an extralinguistic manner, more than anything. In the Culture Festival, I was easily able to attract the attention(and additionally, the ire) of Sagami with nothing but a quiet sigh and some body language. Flova was able to easily prey on ordinary people, and even adventurers such as Anya, because their body behavior gave them away. But for me, it wouldn't work just quite that easily. After all, if intentions could be clearly conveyed, then false intentions would hold the same as long as you were a capable enough actor, which I considered myself to be.
"I call. Shall we, Hikigaya-san?" True to her word, Flova indeed held a full house, which was 10s over 9s.
I responded by casually tossing the cards to the table. "Full house, queens over 8s." And smirked as I watched Flova's smile drop from her face in a priceless expression of shock.
Hikigaya used the Hachiman 108: False Communication!
It's super effective!
Take that, Flova! As someone who's always been able to communicate deliberately, this is another one of my prized 108 Skills: False Communication! Even if Stealth Hikky was the only ascended skill in my arsenal, the others were still as potent, you know~
Just for dramatics, I slowly raised my hand before slamming it down on the table, chuckling in typical villain fashion as I scooped in the mountain of chips. I've always wanted to do that, and this was an Omake anyways, so I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted... within reason, of course.
The next couple of rounds, I kept Flova on guard and slowly cut off her retreat. Every time there was a solid opportunity for Flova to turn the tables, I folded, thus eliminating her chances of turning the gradually gaining tide of momentum. Every time Flova backed down, I pressed forward by betting more, forcing her to either respond or fold.
"Uwahh, he won."
"He won against that Syr, nya!"
"He's really good."
Of course I won. Unless one had the power of plot armor backing them up, they weren't going to be able to reverse momentum in any battle as long as the opponent was careful and took into account all factors– comeback attacks/interactions, extra allies, a heroic "second wind" were all useless if the opponent simply chose to run away or bide time, which would then exhaust the hero, making them easy prey.
As I got up from the chair, Flova smiled at me, but this time I could detect a measure of respect in her eyes. "Well done, Hikigaya-san. Well played."
"Thanks." As I left, I could hear Flova clapping her hands to grab the attention of the others.
"Now then, shall we play another game? Losers have to do my portions of the chores~"
As for me, I headed off to the Guild to do some more work. After all, even in daily life episodes people still had to do work, no?
I blew out a sigh with a resigned smile as I headed off to the Guild, sword slung over my back. Even in Omakes, it seemed I couldn't catch a break, huh? Only the author himself could have this type of relaxing break, damn him.
What is up. I wrote up this tiny little Omake chapter just to kinda screw around, and as the title implies, take a literal break. I hope you guys enjoyed this little poker game between the members of the Hostess! A new story arc premieres next week!
One more thing: Omakes and Interludes are completely different. Omake is just like your standard slice-of-life or side story episode, which is completely fun and harmless. Interludes are still very, very plot-relevant chapters that just take place from the perspective of a different character.
As usual, be sure to drop comments and criticisms! All feedback is welcomed and appreciated. See you guys next week!