142 Winter's Refuge

Chapter One Hundred Forty-Two

JED 'KID' CURRY

I was surprised when Sheriff Birde came down alone and rearranged the lamps, so I had good light in my cell. Then he handed me two books.

"Gabe said these two books just came into the mercantile this week. I thought you'd like something to read to pass the time. I'll bring you some stew later for dinner…and take the lamps upstairs."

"Thank you, sir."

I watched as the sheriff went back upstairs. I don't understand why he is allowin' me privileges like books. I estimate my readin' time was only about an hour, but I was thankful for it. I could tell it was gettin' dark outside by the change in those high curtained windows. Heyes told me he searched for those last night. I hope he's not out in the dark tonight.

Sheriff Birde brought my dinner down on a tray. It was a bowl of hot stew, a roll, cookies, and a cup of coffee. He opened my cell again without askin' me to stand in the back corner, but I did anyway. He balanced the tray on the stool and locked the cell again. Not movin', I looked down.

"Jed, sit down. Eat. I'm going to start taking some of these lamps upstairs." He picked up the two farthest away from me and headed up.

"Yes, sir," I replied, anxious to get at the food. Without a spoon, I had to drink out of the side of the stew bowl. Not somethin' I'd want my kids to see me doin' but needed here. I didn't realize how hungry I was, and the meal was gone before the guard, er, sheriff came back. He was carryin' a second bowl of stew.

"Thought you might be hungry, and my wife makes an excellent stew," he said, while unlockin' the cell and exchangin' the full bowl for my empty one. He took another roll and two more cookies out of his pocket and set them on the tray.

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir," I answered.

Not answerin', he took two more lamps upstairs, leavin' me to finish eatin' by the last flickerin' lamp in the corner.

Putin' the second roll and the last two cookies in my pants pocket for later, I balanced the tray with the empty bowl on the stool and placed them near the cell door. Then I folded all my blankets, with the warm quilt on top, and put them in a corner. I used the pee bucket, too, not sure if he was gonna leave it with me overnight.

When he came downstairs, he brought a fresh bucket of water and another quilt. "The missus was worried it was too cold for you down here," he told me, takin' the tray and my pee bucket before lockin' the door again. "I'll be back down for that lamp."

I took the time to run hard in place, both to tire me out and keep myself strong for prison. The sayin' only the strong survive must have been written about a prison. I know that by experience.

When he returned for the last of the light, he stood outside of my cell and watched me run for a few moments. "Jed, I really am doing this for your own good." He looked away, addin' as if remindin' himself of somethin', "Floyd seemed just fine, too, before he…"

I interrupted his thought. Don't know if I can still speak freely to him. "Sheriff, am I wanted dead or alive again this time?"

I could see shock in his eyes at my question. "Why do you ask that?"

That was definitely a question I could answer. "Figured if I was wanted dead or alive, then you capturin' me and keepin' me safe from bounty hunters and such would be for my own good."

Shakin' his head, he turned and went up the stairs, but I heard him mumble, "Oh, Jed, no, no." Didn't know if he was answerin' my question or not. I turned my attention to runnin' hard until I couldn't run anymore. Then I wrapped up in the quilt with all the blankets under me and used the second as a pillow. Even though I was tired, thoughts filled my head of all the things I needed to do at the ranch that no one ever thinks about doin'. I need to remind Heyes, so they get done. But sleep overcame my thoughts. I'm always tired but tonight I slept deep. If there are bounty hunters out there, they can't reach me here.

HEYES

I know I should have gone back to Phoenix, but Dr. Arden and Sheriff Birde told me to stay in town. They'd prefer if our family just thinks me and the Kid are staying in Three Birds and they should stay home and safe. Sheriff Birde says he would get word to them tomorrow. I told Sheriff Birde I would have dinner with the Ardens. And I told Miss Denise and Dr. Arden I was eating dinner at Sheriff Birde's. So, I bought a sandwich at the new saloon where everyone wanted to buy me drinks before I left. But I don't think I'm going to have a drink until the Kid is free. I know they're trying to help the Kid. But I don't know if it will work. If depression is how they describe it, the Kid has had bouts of it all his life. Well, all his life since our farms were overrun and our families murdered. Before that we were both pretty carefree. Prison only makes depression deeper. At least it did for me.

Making sure I had matches in my pocket, I waited until dusk and headed toward Sheriff Birde's house by the back road. I made a circle of the house and saw that there was still light on in the Kid's prison. Glad that those high windows of the basement faced the back of the house; here they were at ground level. I hid until I saw the last of the lights disappear. And I knew that the Kid was now in total darkness. And I have no way of helping him. All the time we were running, trying for amnesty, the Kid could fall asleep anywhere quickly. But he told me how it was hard to sleep in prison and since we've been living at Phoenix, he doesn't sleep much. He worries about each and every one of us. And not just for big things, little things, too. Those worries keep him awake.

I moved up and sat outside those windows. I couldn't see in or hear anything, but I knew the Kid was in there…and he is my strength and confidence. Every once in a while I lit a match to push away the darkness. The moon was a sliver but allowed some brightness. Still, I was scared, terrified, but I don't know where else to go.

"Heyes, Heyes, wake up."

Someone was shaking me gently. Opening my eyes, I tried to focus but I knew that voice, Sheriff Frank.

"Heyes, what are you doing here?" he asked.

I sat up straighter, my mind still clouded with sleep. "N…ne…near the K…K..." I couldn't get his name out.

"You can't stay here, my friend," the sheriff said. He must be talking about someone else. He's never called me a friend. But I let him help me to his feet. "Doc Arden and me been looking all over for you."

The sleep left me, but my words were stuck. I fell asleep thinking about the Kid. "Pho…Phoen…home."

"That's being taken care of for now. Right now, let's get you over to the doc's."

I broke away from him. "No."

"Heyes, you know we're trying to help Jed. I won't lose him to suicide and if he doesn't get out of his depression, it will get him. Help us. Don't make it easier for him."

His words were reaching me. I wanted to argue but couldn't think of any reasons to.

"If you go now and sleep at the Ardens, and don't come here until Dr. Arden brings you tomorrow, I'll let you be in the room when Jed has visitors tomorrow. IF you stay quiet."

I studied the sheriff and nodded. At least I'll be near the Kid and maybe I can help.

JED 'KID' CURRY

I slept deep but woke up probably after a few hours. I haven't slept that deep for a long time. My feet were cold. Sheriff Frank had taken my socks and boots with my clothes but hadn't returned them. I'd heard him say I would be shackled to the table today. Not really sure what's goin' on. I don't want to be put on display. Still, I'm guilty and I won't fight goin' to prison.

I wrapped the second quilt around my feet and pulled the first tight around me. I couldn't get back to sleep. I wonder if I can see Chrissy before the marshals come for me. I feel so guilty leavin' her with six kids…our kids. I thought of all the things I was gonna miss in their lives. I must have fallen into some kind of sleep because I was startled when the door scraped open and some light from above flooded down the stairs. I still sat in darkness, but I watched Sheriff Frank and jumped to my feet and tripped over the quilt around them. I grabbed the cell bars to steady myself and managed to stand straight and look down with the quilt tangled around my feet.

The sheriff put something on the ground and then set a lamp just out of reach of my prison and lit it. I forgot how much I need light. The darkness of this cell gets inside your bones. He picked up a bucket he had carried down.

"Jed, stand away from the door," he said and then stared at the tangle at my feet. "Take your time," he added, and I thought I heard a grin in his voice. When I was out of the way, he picked up the bucket of water that he had brought down. He set it on my stool and handed me a bar of soap and a towel.

"Can't let you shave but you can at least wash up for your visitors. I want you in your long johns when I come back down with your breakfast. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir."

When he left, I looked at the water and almost kicked it over. He's gonn make me see the visitors naked with just my underwear. But then I felt the water he'd brought. It was warm, almost hot, and I was dirty and smelly from my last day of freedom and my time down here. So, I took off my clothes and folded them in the corner. I listened and didn't hear anything, so I quickly took off my long johns, too, and washed up. I dried myself quickly and put my long johns back on. Then washed my face, feelin' my untamed beard. Finally, I used the last of the precious water to wash my hair. I've let it grow some; Chrissy says she likes my curls. Won't have nothin' but a bald head for the next few years in prison. Need to ask Heyes to send me a knitted hat to keep my head warm.

It felt good to be clean again and I was dryin' my hair with the towel when Frank came down with a second light, but he left it on the far side of the stairs, so it didn't illuminate my cell. Heyes would be impressed I used that word. He went back upstairs without sayin' a word. But didn't shut the door.

Five minutes later, he carried my breakfast down on a tray, eggs and a sweet roll…no fork. "Stand back," he ordered.

"Yes, sir."

He put the tray on the floor and left a package next to it. He gathered the towel, soap, and the bucket with what was left of the hot water. When he locked me in, he said, "The package is from Jeff," as he left.

In the faint light, I picked up the package. A note fell out from under the string.

"For my good friend, Jed. Pray you are feeling better. I believe in you. I hope to be visiting you soon. Always, Jeff."

I read it again. Jeff called me his good friend, but if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have been injured. The package contained new pants, and a white shirt and brown vest in my size. He always said he stocked that size just for me. As I changed my clothes, Jeff's words kept bangin' around in my head…friend, believe, praying. Had he forgiven me for endin' up in a wheelchair? Jeff and Frank were my friends here in Three Birds and my first. But now I need to remember to call them Sheriff Birde and Mr. Birde. I've lost the right to call good men like them by their given names.

Light from above streamed down the stairs, as someone else came down carryin' two lamps. No, it was two people with one lamp each. As they descended, I could make out Dr. Arden and Heyes.

I started to stand straight and look down, but the doctor said, "Jed, as you were before." He was all the way down. So, I stood where I was with Jeff's card in my hand.

I remembered not to speak until spoken to even though the doctor had told me to speak freely. As he put his lamp on a small table I had not seen in the shadows before, he said, "Jed, bring your stool here and sit down. New clothes?"

"Yes, sir," I answered, but my eyes were on Heyes. I could tell from the fear in his eyes somethin' was wrong.

The doctor asked what I was holdin'. I handed it to him, still lookin' at Heyes' eyes. He would not meet my gaze and now I was worried about him.

"Jed, when you read this card, how did it make you feel?"

It was a direct question, but I didn't want to answer. I want to talk to Heyes, but I can tell from the look on Doctor Arden's face, I need to answer first and answer truthfully.

"Confused. He wrote 'good friend' but I'm responsible for him gettin' injured. I wondered if he could have maybe forgiven me."

The doctor let a little smile escape but then hid it quickly. "Jeff and you have been friends ever since you came to Three Birds. I've talked to him. He doesn't blame you; he blames himself for challenging an outlaw. He's proud of what you, his friend, did to help save this town. Heard him bragging about you and Heyes."

"But I…"

"Jed, I told you starting today I want you to think about things differently, didn't I?"

"Yes, sir."

"We're going to start right now. If Jeff were here, what would you say to him?"

"That I don't deserve his friendship. I failed him and Three Birds."

"I want you to listen to what I'm telling you."

"Yes, sir."

"If Jeff were here, it would be better to say you value his friendship and are sorry he was injured. He obviously considers you a close friend and he probably needs one right about now. And that you're glad you could help Three Birds."

His response confused me, but Heyes was noddin'.

"Repeat that to me and see if you feel a difference."

"Yes, sir." And I did, even though I didn't understand why.

"Good. Now, when you come upstairs and meet these people, they all think you've been sick and are just recovering. I want you to think before you answer them when they talk to you. I want every one of your answers to be positive. Do you understand?"

"Sir?"

"Positive or you say nothing."

"Yes, sir," I said, but didn't really understand. I was watchin' my cousin.

"Good. Alright, I'll tell Frank he can bring you upstairs," Dr Arden said.

"I…I…I talk t...t…to K…K...?" Heyes asked, and I knew somethin' was very wrong. He was the hero to the town. He should be celebratin' with a drink in one hand and a cigar in the other…but his words were gone.

We both looked at the doctor, who was thinkin' about Heyes' question.

"Frank should be down in about ten minutes. You have until then." He started to pick up the lamp but changed his mind. "Jed, if you are given paper and a pencil upstairs, would you like to write a note to Jeff Birde?"

Surprised by the offer, I realized that's just what I wanted to do, and my "Yes, sir," came out quickly.

"Good," the doctor said as he made his way on the stairs and the word made me think of Chrissy. Does she know where I am? I love her so much. I want to protect her from the world but now I can't.

"K…K…Kid," Heyes said when the door at the top of the stairs scraped shut.

"Heyes, what happened? What's wrong?"

"Need you. See w…win…windows?" He pointed at the high windows with the black curtains. I nodded. "When d...d…dark I l…light matches on other side so you have some light." He finished the sentence talkin' quickly and found some words.

"Heyes."

"Sit outside so close to you. You're not alone."

"Oh, Heyes. I know you're around, but that means you're sittin' in the dark."

"I'm brave near you, partner. You make me brave. If I'm good, get to sit in your meetings. If you start not positive, I'll give you mean outlaw l…l…look."

I laughed. "Thanks, partner. Not sure what the doctor's tryin' to do. Do you know when the marshals are comin' for me?"

He looked at the closed door, moved nearer to me and whispered, "Our secret. Not notified yet."

"You sure?"

He nodded as the door opened and he backed away from me. Sheriff Birde came down carryin' ankle shackles. "Heyes, go upstairs and sit at the table with the doc. We'll be right up."

Then he turned to me. "You going to fight me putting these on you?"

"No, sir," I said and moved to the far corner of the cell without bein' asked, but my whole bein' was yellin', 'No. Run. No. Not again.'

He had me sit on the stool and knelt on one knee in front of me. When he lifted my pants to get to my ankles, he saw the scars on them, scars from wearin' shackles in the Arizona desert, shackles that burned everywhere they touched. He hesitated, "Jed?"

I wasn't lookin' at him. I was starin' at those covered windows. I could tell the sun was beatin' down on the other side of them. And I was forcin' myself to keep my feelin's inside and sit perfectly still. It's a skill I learned in the railroad camp and one I'll need again.

When I didn't respond, the sheriff finished lockin' the shackles in place. "Need help standing?"

"No, sir," I answered and stood slowly, feelin' the weight of the shackles pullin' me down like the weight of my sins.

"Then, let's go." He held the cell door open and followed me to the stairs. "No railing here, so lean on me and I'll help you climb up."

I didn't answer, but one by one I went up the stairs by myself. Movin' with the weight of the shackles came back to me and my legs are still strong enough to do it. I got to the top and waited. The sheriff had climbed in back of me. Probably afraid I would fall. But I deserve these shackles and I will wear them, but I refuse to shuffle or limp with them on. I'd even learned to run with them in the railroad camp, but I doubt I could do that yet.

"To your left," Sheriff Birde answered. I saw the table. Heyes, Miss Beverly, and Dr. Arden were talkin' too soft for me to hear, but stopped when the sheriff said, "Humff."

"Oh my!" Miss Beverly ran from the room cryin' and Heyes stared at the shackles without blinkin'. When I sat down, the sheriff climbed under the table, unfastened my left shackle, and attached it to the center table leg. He motioned to the doctor, and they went into the hall and talked. Heyes followed them. I don't know if he was supposed to do that. They all came back together but Heyes winked to me, and I knew he would tell me what they said the next time we were alone.

"Remember what I said, Jed," Dr. Arden told me.

"Yes, sir," I answered and when I looked at Heyes he was givin' me a version of his outlaw stare. It feels good knowin' we're in this together, at least for today.

Miss Beverly came to the entrance of the room. "Mr. Trayce and his son are here to talk to Jed," she said and disappeared.

"Mr. Curry," Mr. Trayce said, extendin' his hand. "Don't stand up; we know you are recoverin'."

I thought about what the doctor had told me. "It's nice of you to stop by," I answered. Dr. Arden was watchin' me closely and Sheriff Birde was standin' by the door.

"Just have to give you our best wishes for a quick recovery," Mr. Trayce said.

His son was about nine or ten, I'd guess, older than the twins but not much. He looked at me and added, "We pray for you every night in our evenin' prayers. Ma calls you our savin' lifeline. And we give thanks for the chickens you send. Sometimes chicken and eggs are all we have to eat."

"Quiet, Jimmy," his pa tried to get him to stop talkin', but it was too late.

I thought about my reply and talked slowly so I would get it right. "Thank you for the best wishes and prayers. Glad you enjoy the chickens and their eggs." There, I knew it wasn't just right, but it was positive, I think.

"Chickens?" asked the doctor, lookin' at Jimmy and then at his pa. Mr. Trayce looked at me. Heyes shrugged his shoulders. Only me and Juan know about the chickens.

My heart beat faster. I need to think of somethin' positive. Then somethin' close to the truth hit me. "I'm glad you could use them. People often pay me in chickens and our coop is very full of chickens. You takin' them saves us from slaughterin' them for nothin'."

I could tell from the doctor's expression I had said the right thing. I'd tell him later they were true…if he asks. But Heyes frowned. He knows that a few times over the last year Auntie has bought a dozen egg layin' chickens because our coop needed more.

Miss Beverly appeared again announcing, "Mr. Crenshaw and son."

Trevor Crenshaw strode into the room, his boy trailin', but did not sit down. "Don't have much time but had to come see how you were, Jed, and ask if there's anything we can do to help you."

"Thank you for comin'," I answered. This was gettin' a little easier.

But Crenshaw looked at Heyes and Dr. Arden, sayin', "This man's a hero. He was new in town yet came to our barn raisin' a few years back. Only man there strong enough to steady the center beam."

I didn't say anything. I'm not a hero.

"Yeah, most amazin' thing I ever saw and then he saved two boys. Jimmy Tracye, I believe you were one of them that ran under a fallin' side of the barn. Jed saw Jeff Birde tryin' to steady the side beam, again, and knew he wasn't strong enough to hold it, so this man right here pulled that whole thing over to him. Even with all his strength, he couldn't control it, but he saved Jeff's life that day. It crashed and trapped his right leg under an eight-foot beam." Mr. Crenshaw was really into his story, and I was tryin' to think of somethin' positive to say when I wanted to tell him that I'm no hero. "And you know what Jed did then? He's on the ground with his leg pinned and he lifted the beam off of his leg by himself and held it up. Took two men to lift that weight from him. Yes, sir, Jed's our hero here in Three Birds!"

Heyes was listenin' in amazement. He wasn't there but had heard about it from many people. Must be one of his memory holes.

"Thankful I was in the right place at the right time," I answered, hopin' that would win the doctor's approval. "How's the shoulder doin', Mr. Crenshaw?"

"It's Trevor, Jed, you know that. Shoulder's doing good, real good. You know that fight at Brown River was one of the most excitin' days of my life…and I was never really scared because we had Kid Curry on our side."

"Never thought of a gunfight that way, but I guess you could call it excitin',' ' I said. Was that positive enough or should I have said nothin'?

"Would you folks like some tea and cookies?" asked Miss Beverly, as she carried in a tray and put it on the table.

Mr. Tracye and Mr. Crenshaw said their goodbyes, but I saw both boys eyein' the cookies. "Maybe the boys would each like a cookie or two for the trip home?" I asked. Instantly, two hands grabbed four cookies and thanked me with their eyes.

Then they were gone, and the room was quiet.

Note: The Crenshaw Barn raising and Trayce family are both to be found in chapter twenty-one.