AN: Before we begin, as promised, Reviewer Replies!
Guest: Very glad you're enjoying!
A Potato: I had originally intended to continue work on the original and chug along through this R&E Edition as I went, but given how much things are changing as I work my way through the R&E, I'm unsure that the story will be the same by the time I get to where the original left off. It may go off in a completely different direction and that may be for the best since the reason I stopped on the original is because I ran face first into that most loathsome wall known as 'writer's block', which usually necessitates backing up and trying something different. That being the case, and with me having multiple other stories going on top of life and work, I'm putting the original on hold. I do hope you will enjoy this revised and expanded edition, I sincerely believe it to be a firm upgrade across the board.
AnimeMyWorld: I certainly do remember you, welcome back! Did you have a nice trip? As always please do ramble to your heart's content! (laughs in minor embarrassment) Yeah, I hope so too. Writer's block is a bitch, hopefully I won't run into it this time. I'm not on a weekly posting schedule like I was the first go round, this time it's bi-weekly on Sundays so I can take my time a little bit more, but I'm posting the first 24 chapters all in one go so that FFN will be caught up to AO3.
And now, ON WITH THE SHOW!
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Chapter 10: Gone Fishing
I was a bit surprised when Elfman showed up at my apartment the next afternoon, but I invited him in. He stepped in, having to duck his head to fit through the door. I tugged a chair out with my foot in passing as I led him into the kitchen, "Care to sit? I'll feel weird sitting if you stand."
Elfman sat at the small kitchen table and was quiet until after I had fished a drink from the fridge, offered him one, and sat across from him. "So," I asked with an amiable smile, "What brings you by Elfman?"
Elfman studied his cup for a moment, "What are your intentions towards my sister?"
I was quiet for a moment and then I nodded and exhaled, "I figured that's what it was. Mira's…amazing. She's probably the most beautiful woman I've ever met, she's smart and sweet and I honestly very much enjoy being around her. If you're asking do I intend to have sex with her, then the answer is only if she wants to. No man would force himself on a lady. If you're asking do I intend to marry her, then the answer is currently no. I have no plans to marry her or even ask. The founding premise of whatever relationship we have is that we are just intimate friends. I asked her before we even began if she would accept and reciprocate romantic attachment from me, and she asked that I not harbor such feelings. Until such time as she decides that she wishes for our relationship to be more than just intimate friends, I'll not violate the trust she's put in me by letting my heart fall into her lap. If she wants to give me hers, then I'll accept and return the favor as the happiest man in the world. Otherwise, she is just one of my very dearest friends in the whole world."
I looked up from my drink and across the table at Elfman, "Does that answer your question Elfman?"
Elfman crossed his arms and looked troubled, "I wanna say it's unmanly of you to not marry Mira before you have sex with her, but at the same time, it would be even more unmanly to do exactly what she asked you not to."
"You know we haven't had sex yet right?" I asked him bluntly.
He actually flinched in surprise, "Huh? But I thought…I mean everyone's saying…"
I barked out a short small laugh, "No, she's probably seen me naked because of the fact that she's helped Ms. Porlyusica bandage my wounds and take care of me, but we've never gone beyond heated kissing." I took a drink and clarified, "Not that I don't want to go further, I am a man after all, but as I said, a real man would never force himself on a lady, so I'm leaving the ball in her court. I'll play whenever she wishes, but it's entirely at her discretion, and I think she likes it that way. She loves teasing you know."
Elfman barked out a small laugh, "Trust me man, you have no idea. Let me tell you about when we were younger…" And so we spent an hour discussing Mirajane's previous mischief. Apparently, she was actually quite the little hellcat back in her heyday.
I was quite surprised, and Mira was mildly mortified when she learned Elfman had told me about it.
Then I kissed her and told her that I thought her mischievous side was kind of hot. She blushed for a moment before grinning mischievously and proceeding to push me down into a chair to show me just how good she really was at teasing. Of all the cartoony anime quirks to not inhabit the Fairy Tail world, I think nosebleeds are the ones whose absence I am most glad of, as I would definitely have bled to death through the nose before she finished detailing the first of her fantasies. I couldn't have imagined how much I had underestimated Mira's dirty mind, but her excitedly whispered fantasies and the feel of her breath on my neck and her body in my lap were enough to thoroughly convince me that if I ever did get her naked it would be the ride of a lifetime.
Then I voiced the thought and she asked if I wanted to try it. The answer of course was yes and we then proceeded to make the rumors about the steaminess of our relationship not only true but honestly a bit of an understatement.
…
…
==August 5th, 11:18 PM==
Cana obliterated the now empty bottle with a flash of Crash magic that reduced it to powder over the trash can she kept next to her bed. Jerry's download of his knowledge of what constituted his form of Crash magic had made it remarkably easy to use, but it had presented another entirely different dilemma… "Why the hell is my booze not working?" Cana snarled in the dim lamplight of her room at Fairy Hills.
It was a good room. She'd gotten Laki to help her cover the wall with an enormous wine rack not long after the Wood Make mage had joined, and she'd collected liquid relief in over 300 different vintages from across Fiore and even a couple of imports as well. Her bed was soft and warm and the whole room smelled faintly of wine. The lights weren't bright and the walls were thick, perfect for a hangover. She hadn't had a sure enough hangover in years due to her perfect cure of "just stay drunk", but she still had the thick heavy curtains from when she'd had them regularly.
She slumped back and glared up at the ceiling, "That bastard. I oughta kick his ass for making me feel like this…" Not enough that he'd flirted with her, oh no, he'd just had to go and find out her secret and teach her his own version of Gildarts's Crash Magic. Even worse, it was easy. Easy, easy, EASY. It was as easy and reflexive as her card magic now, her card magic that she'd practiced and honed for years, and that said a lot about how much she actually was meant to have it.
The Decomposition variant that Natsu said was prone to completely wiping the bastard's reserves out was actually just a more thorough and less explosive version of Crash, it actually required a little bit less power than Crash itself since it only scoured things down to sand rather than actively blowing them apart. A surefire sign that it's not meant for him, Cana glowered as she uncorked her next bottle and sipped it, It's so easy for me that I'm surprised I'm not destroying everything I touch. If this is how Gildarts feels then it's no wonder he walks through walls by mistake.
She took a drink and let her mind wander, nearly obliterating the neck of her bottle when her mind wandered back to the bastard that had her feeling more confused and upset than anyone other than Gildarts. Then as the alcohol finally started to hit her, Why am I so pissed off at him? Nobody's asked me about it, so he's kept quiet…he gave me the best help he could and it's not like he's asked anything of me in return…It's not his fault I've got issues… She cocked her head to the side as the thought hit her, Wow, I'm really being a bitch to him right now…
The thought was a little bit alien to her, but even as she thought it she realized it was more likely than not very true. Then uncertainty reared its head, So what do I do now?
She sat forward and tried to think, and then the answer was right in front of her. She blinked and then a smile spread across her face, Duh Cana… She picked up her cards and began to shuffle them, Hey guys…Sorry I didn't think to ask you sooner…I've been kinda out of it these last few days. Ready to help me make a decision? The cards didn't answer directly, but she knew they were. She smiled and laid out the cards in a triangle of six pointing toward herself: the immediate result of the action proposed, two for the most likely repercussions a month out and three for the most likely repercussions six months out.
"Ok, so if I don't apologize and keep on like I've been…" she turned the first card, the immediate results, over and grimaced, Death reversed, no change. I'll keep feeling like shit and that SUCKS. Let's see what happens in the long haul…
She turned over the first possibility for a month out and froze, The Tower, catastrophe. What the hell?! She gently reached out and tentatively laid a hand to the card hissing as the visions raced through her mind… Levy Jet and Droy beaten and pinned to a tree, Gramps ill and too weak to move, a mechanical giant, the guild hall in ruins while a battle raged around it, Erza fighting for her life in a strange crystal room… Cana snatched her hand back as though bitten and the horrible visions stopped abruptly. Her chest heaved and her heart hammered, WHAT THE HELL?!
She took a moment to calm herself down, Ok, ok, no need to panic…just…just gotta keep an eye on Levy that's all…It, it started with Levy right? So if I just keep Levy safe then that won't happen… Yeah, yeah, that's right, let's see what the other card i-HRK! Cana choked as she flipped the other card, THE LOVERS REVERSED?! The guild's gonna be nearly falling apart on top of all that?!
She immediately reached for her bottle and began to chug. When she had sloppily drained half the bottle, she wiped her mouth and then before her terror could get the better of her she flipped the last three cards all at once with magic. She nearly fainted in shock as her duplicates of Death and The Tower leered up at her next to the inverted moon. She didn't even need to touch them to know what they meant. Death, lots of it.
She stared in horror for a moment and then snatched the cards back up and began desperately shuffling as fast as she could, "No! NO! THERE'S NO WAY! I MUST'VE DONE IT WRONG!"
She threw the cards back out into formation and even though they were a little bit sloppier this time, they were still in place. Cana flipped them all at once with magic and froze as she felt her heart stop in horror, the exact same awful pattern right where it had been a moment before. Cana sat back, her eyes wide and then she snatched up her cards and ran out the door, "LEVYYYYYYYYYYY!"
She caught Levy coming out of the shared bathroom at the end of the hallway and grabbed her hand, "LEVY! SIT DOWN! I NEED TO READ YOUR FORTUNE! RIGHT NOW!"
"OK OK! What's gotten into you?!" Levy exclaimed as she sat down right outside the bathroom door. Cana shuffled her deck like poker cards, shuffled them twice more and set them down, charged them with the question that had produced the awful pattern but with regards to Levy's next six months.
She set the cards down, "Ok, draw six cards and set them down in three rows, one in a row, two in a row and three in a row with the three over here by me. Face down."
"Are you sure you're okay Cana?" Levy asked warily as she began to do so, "I've done this with you a million times, I know how it works. There, all done." Cana swiped her hand impatiently and all six cards flipped to reveal that same awful pattern grinning doom up at them.
Levy's eyes went wide as she saw it and the meanings of those cards raced into her mind, "Cana, tell me I'm wrong about what those mean."
"What do they mean?" Erza asked over Cana's shoulder, "Aside from that you're blocking the bathroom door?"
Cana whirled and caught Erza, quickly forcing the red head to sit, "ERZA! FORTUNE TELLING! RIGHT NOW!" She quickly snatched up the cards and shuffled the deck, once, twice, three times, "LEVY! SHUFFLE!" Levy shuffled and handed them back to Cana.
Cana slammed the deck down between her and Erza and belted out the instructions rapid fire. Erza was well enough attuned to her friends that she knew something very bad had been on those cards, so she wasted no time in laying them out as Levy had. Cana went to flip them and Erza stopped her, "Why don't you let me flip them over?"
Cana froze and was almost shaking with nerves before she nodded, "Yeah, yeah. You're right, it'll be more accurate that way." Erza nodded and quickly flipped them over, when she was done, that same awful pattern was there again. Erza got a good look at it as Cana and Levy both went pale and then a memory flashed through her mind and made her go ghostly pale as well, "Cana, correct me if I'm wrong…isn't this top row…"
"The exact same pattern Lisanna drew," Cana finished in a horrified whisper.
Silence reigned for a moment and then, "Where's Jerry?" Cana demanded tersely as she began shuffling the cards again, roughly slapping out a fresh set of six and turning them over rapid fire. All three sets of eyes went wide as they saw a radically different reading before them, "…I need to talk to him RIGHT NOW."
"Nobody's seen him in three days!" Levy answered nervously, "What does he have to do with it?!"
"I had a fight with Jerry a few days ago and this fortune was to see whether or not I should apologize to him!" Cana explained, "This pattern," she gestured to the extremely good reading in front of them, "Is what happens if I do and do it at the very next opportunity! That other one was what happens if I don't!"
"We need to keep this quiet," Erza declared after a moment, "Let's spread out and find him, but if word that you've drawn that pattern again gets out then the entire guild will be hovering around us like mother hens for the next six months. Did you do one for the guild as a whole?"
"Didn't think about it, was too busy freaking out," Cana replied tersely as she immediately began shuffling, "Ok this is if I don't apologize…" Six cards out and six cards flipped…
"What the hell?" Erza breathed quietly as the awful pattern leered up at them once again, "Can one little apology really make that much of a difference?!"
"What the hell's wrong with Jerry that not apologizing to him leads to that for the whole guild?!" Levy exclaimed.
"Let's find out," Cana answered as she began shuffling again, "Here's what'll happen to him if that happens to us." She tossed out six cards and flipped them and all three were dumbstruck as the pattern representing imminent death and turmoil sat there staring at them once again. Cana stared in shock and then reached out and gently touched the three cards in the top row.
She was immediately assaulted with a vision of Jerry and a little blue haired girl who Cana didn't recognize standing in front of a shit load of graves bawling their eyes out with much of the guild around them. She lifted her hand away and exhaled, "He'll survive, but it looked like whatever happened absolutely destroyed him, so I don't think it's his fault."
"Then we need to find out whose it is," Erza declared sharply, "Is there any way you can narrow the prediction down?"
Cana thought for a moment and then shuffled the deck before tossing out six fresh cards, "This is what will happen if I wait a week." She flipped them and three hearts skipped a beat as that awful pattern loomed up at them once more. Cana went pale, "I've got less than a week to apologize?!"
"So whatever happens to avert that series of events is going to happen or not within the week?" Levy asked with a frown, "That's a really narrow window of opportunity. Maybe it's some kind of job?"
Cana shuffled and tossed, "If he takes a job in the next week…" She flipped and flinched, "Bad future." She shook her head, "Ok, we need to narrow this the fuck down. Jerry's future for the next week if I apologize as soon as possible." She shuffled and tossed out three cards for a very tight, accurate prediction.
"Strength and the Moon inverted…followed by The Tower reversed…" Cana muttered, "So he's going to get confused but try to do something nice and that's going to change everything?"
"Can you find out what it is?" Erza asked.
Cana laid her hand to Strength and the reversed Moon and froze as the vision washed over her, "OH." She lifted her fingers and moved them to the reversed Tower, "OH."
She pulled out one more card and looked at it, her breath immediately beginning to hitch as tears started to well in her eyes. She quickly scrubbed them away as she started grinning, "I know what the decision is."
"What is it?!" Erza demanded.
Cana turned around The Emperor to show them with a watery smile, "He's going to find Gildarts."
…
…
I cracked my eyes open and the grin that hadn't left my face for…I wasn't sure how long, widened a little at the head full of snow white hair lying on the pillow next to me. I had no idea how long Mirajane and I had been at my apartment. At least a few meals, two or three extremely steamy showers and a lot of in-between sleep had passed, but I hadn't been keeping count.
I wasn't sure what had woken me, and just as I was about to nod back off, I heard the knock on the door again. I raised up a little and frowned in the direction of the front door. I gently disentangled myself from Mira and gave her a kiss as I whispered, "back in a sec…" I got up, retrieved my pants and headed for the door.
My hand was less than a foot from the doorknob when Natsu blew the door down and burst in, "JERRYYY! Oh hey Jerry! Are you alive in here?"
My eye twitched at him, my hand still extended to where I had been about to open the door. "Idiot," I declared after a moment, "I was less than two feet from opening the door."
Natsu scratched his head, "But we've been knocking for half an hour…"
I blinked, "Oh…sorry, I was having a really good sleep, but you still shouldn't have knocked down my door!"
"We were worried," Erza declared as she poked her head through the door, "You haven't been by the Guild Hall in nearly a week, and Mirajane's been missing as well. The only time Mirajane's not at the guild regularly is when she's out on a job or gone on vacation. She would've let us know if she were going on vacation, and she hasn't gone on a job in years. We were wondering if you'd seen her? We've been asking around, but even Elfman doesn't know where she is."
I blinked, "Wow, Lucy's really good at keeping quiet. There's no way she didn't know. I don't think these walls are that sound proof…"
"Know what?" Gray asked with a frown.
"That I've been here shagging my new boytoy's brains out for…how long did you say?" Mira declared from the bedroom door. I glanced over my shoulder and saw that she was dressed in nothing but my fuzzy black bathrobe and her hair was still gloriously disheveled from the near week of constant lovemaking. She looked so luscious with that smug little grin as she leaned against the door frame that it was all I could do not to toss our friends out, prop the door up and pounce her…maybe even skip the tossing our friends out and propping the door up thing.
I turned back to Natsu, Gray, Happy and Erza and grinned from ear to ear as they all gaped at me. Then Mira looked at Natsu, "I'm kind of surprised you didn't figure it out. Your nose is usually pretty good."
Natsu looked puzzled and then he went ghostly pale, "OH MY GOD! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SMELLING WHEN I COME TO VISIT LUCY?!"
Mira walked over and draped her arms around my shoulders as she set her chin on my shoulder, "Yep! Now would you mind letting us finish? I've only got a few more safe days this month, so I'd kind of like to finish working through that bottle of lube we started. There's only a little bit left." Natsu, Happy and Gray's jaws hit the floor as Erza blushed as red as her hair. Then Mira winked at them, "So Natsu, Gray and Happy, go home. You can stay and join us if you want to Erza."
Erza somehow blushed even more crimson and nearly fainted as Mirajane laughed. I was immediately ready for the next round and quickly shooed Natsu Gray and Happy out. Mira guided Erza out and I set the door back up into its frame before forcing the broken hinges and lock back together with my magic.
Mira leaned against the wall with a smile and a sigh, "I guess we had better hurry and finish huh? We must've been going at it for a while now if they got so worried they sent those three to check on us. How long did they say we'd been going at it?"
"Nearly a week," I replied with a touch of embarrassed pride. Best. Week. EVER.
Mira went pale and quickly counted on her fingers before sighing with relief, "Alright, we'll have to finish today and tonight. Even as amazing as you are, we don't know each other nearly well enough for you to be getting me pregnant." Then she wrapped her arms around me and added with a kiss, "Yet."
I kissed her back and then I remembered something, "Oh, by the way Mira, I almost forgot…" I kissed her gently, "Thanks for the birthday present."
Mirajane blinked at me in surprise, "Birthday present?" I nodded and explained that the day we'd started our little multiday marathon had coincidentally been my birthday. "I wasn't even thinking about it at the time," I admitted, "I was too focused on you, but now that I think about it, today's the seventh. We've been going at it for five days, so…" I kissed her again, "Thanks for the best birthday ever."
Mira looked thoughtful, "I wish you had told me, I would've made a cake."
I kissed her, "Then next year, we'll have cake," I leaned in close and added in a mischievous whisper, "and I'll lick it off you." Mira gave a little squeak of scandalized excitement and we didn't make it back to the bed before we started again.
…
…
I was not expecting to be greeted with cheers when Mirajane and I walked into the guild hall the next morning. I thought the sheer volume was gonna blow my cape back like a gale force breeze. Mira blushed as pink as her dress. After my face managed to pull itself back into its proper position from where the hurricane force cheering had all but pushed the flesh and bandages off my skull backwards, I grimaced, "They told everyone didn't they?"
"Yep," Mira replied as she eyed her guildmates. Then she sighed, "Well, guess it's a good thing I don't mind them knowing."
"Should I keep the details to myself?" I muttered out the corner of my mouth.
Mira shrugged with a smile, "You can if you want to, but you don't have to. It's nothing worth getting worked up about. I gotta go make sure Wren and Katy kept everything under control while I was out, see you later!"
She strolled on across the guild and I was immediately swamped by a tidal wave of guys wanting details. I was immediately uncomfortable. I like entertaining, I do not like being surrounded by lots of people clamoring to ask me questions. I resisted the urge to simply blow them back the way I had Eisenwald and instead sprang to the ceiling, using my telekinesis to cling to the ceiling, "Keep ya leerin' to ya selves!" I shouted, "Ya ain't gettin' squat outta me!"
I flew down to the bar and landed by Master Makarov as the guild's entire population of horny males groaned. Then they tried to follow me over anyway and were met with a bomb shot aimed right at them, "MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF. SEE WHAT HAPPENS."
I don't think I've ever seen that many people come so close to shitting themselves in unison. They immediately dispersed and went back to what they were doing. Things were quiet for a moment and then Cana, who I hadn't realized was sitting next to Master Makarov, looked up from her drink with a lecherous grin, "Wow, was it really that bad that you don't wanna talk about it?"
I snorted, "Three thousand three hundred and forty seven. Archive lets me keep count of anything I have memory of."
Cana frowned, "What's…" then her eyes widened as she realized what I was talking about, "Was that you or her?"
Mirajane grinned over her shoulder as she made her way behind the bar, "And I didn't fake a single one." I seriously thought Cana's jaw was going to legitimately hit the ground. Cana looked at me and sized me up quickly before turning back to Mira, "Is he just that good?"
"That's about half of it," Mira replied as though it were the most mundane topic in the world, "The other half is that for some reason his magic can directly induce pleasure for whoever he's using it on. To his credit, he doesn't rely on it nearly as much as you'd think he would. It's a supplement, not his entire style."
Cana looked over at me, "So you could make a girl cum just by hitting her with your magic?"
I thought about it, "I'm not sure. If you'd like to try it and Mira doesn't mind, I could try." Mira smirked and told me to go ahead before reminding me that we weren't exclusive. I nodded and turned back to Cana, "Ready?"
Cana downed the rest of her drink and turned to face me with a mischievous grin. She leaned against the back of her chair and crossed her legs, "Hit me handsome."
"Never done it with just my magic before, so it might not work, but you should feel something," I declared, "And I'm probably going to stare. It helps." Cana told me to look all I liked. I nodded, "Alright, here we go…"
I started taking in every detail of the gorgeous young woman in front of me. Her eyes were a purplish blue and they twinkled with mischief almost as much as Mira's. Her face was very nicely shaped and the dark chocolatey brown hair was just begging to have fingers tangled in it while those full pink lips were having the booze kissed off them. That long neck and collarbone I wanted to trail kisses down on my way to the main event, good grief what a rack! Perfectly taught and full orbs of flesh that I was just dying to test the sensitivity of and, dear god were those her nipples poking through? My lust went through the roof as I noticed that and I'm certain I blushed as I imagined tasting them. Then Cana gasped in pleasure and I knew I was on the right track with this whole pleasure magic thing.
I imagined running my lips down those perfect sexy abs to her waistline and sliding her pants off while copping a feel of that gorgeous ass and long lissome legs at the same time, and then Cana shook. She let out a little gasp of, "Oh god…" and nearly fell off her barstool. I blinked and shut the magic off to observe Cana's flushed red face, the heaving chest and slightly stunned, starstruck expression as she looked at me like I was from outer space.
Then, right before the guild hall erupted in whatever over the top reaction they were about to have…the guild hall had been so quiet while I did my thing that I knew they were watching intently and were probably going to have some sort of over the top reaction…a wave of magic washed through the guild hall. I heard Makarov mutter, "Mystogan…" Then the entire guild was suddenly groaning complaints and falling out in short order.
I leapt up as Mira collapsed, "MIRA!" "It's fine…just a sleep spell…" Makarov mumbled, clearly half asleep himself and struggling to remain conscious, "He always does this…Why aren't…you…being affected?"
"A good question," A deep rich voice asked from behind me. I whirled and saw a man with five staffs, four on his back and one in his hand. His face was covered by a pair of navy blue bandannas even more thoroughly than mine was by my bandages, and he wore a cape over some strange shirt like garment and a mess of bandages that seemed to cover every inch of him. He had the oddest pants I've ever seen, they looked almost like big stiff cloth tea cups rising up from his knees.
I raised a glowing hand and growled, "Master, who is this guy?" Do I need to blast the ever living hell out of him?
Mystogan raised a hand and lifted the sleep spell from Makarov. Master Makarov popped up fresh as a daisy, "Ah, that's right, you haven't been here long. Jerry, meet Mystogan, he's one of our S-Class wizards, like Erza and Mirajane. He has a very annoying habit of putting everyone in the guild to sleep whenever he comes in to get a job," he added with a pointed glare at the masked wizard before continuing, "Mystogan, this here's Jerry. He's from another dimension on the other side of Edolas. He just arrived recently."
Mystogan's eyebrows went up, "So you're…" Then he nodded, "Ah, I see. That explains why my magic doesn't affect you." Then he pulled down the bandanna covering his face and smiled, "It's nice to meet you." He quickly pulled it back up and glanced over his shoulder as I gaped at him (the resemblance to the picture of that guy I'd been told was one of the magic council was not lost on me). Then he turned back to me, "If you'd like to discuss it more, we can. I have a little time to spare."
I nodded, "I think that's probably a good idea. We shouldn't stay here with a sleeping spell on all of them though. It's a little rude you know." Mystogan nodded, "Yes, let me grab a job right quick and we'll head somewhere a bit more private."
"Wow. You really do look like him," a voice drawled from upstairs. Me, Mystogan and Master Makarov turned and saw a blonde man in a furry coat that he wore like a cape with an asshole grin leering down at us, "So that's why you cover up your face all the time. I kind of suspected you know, but now that I know for sure it makes total sense. I wouldn't want to look like that guy either."
Then from halfway across the guild hall where she'd finally shaken off the effects of the sleep spell and returned to her feet, Erza said, "Well Mystogan, it's nice to finally meet you. I have to say I quite agree with Jerry though, the sleep spell thing is very rude."
Mystogan suddenly looked like a turtle as he pulled his head down inside his cape and hissed, "Not one word."
I blinked as I realized he had an absolutely neon blush going on. It took a second and then I grinned, "Ahhh! THAT makes sense!" I laughed, "Don't worry if he doesn't turn around Erza, it's not that he doesn't want to meet you, he's just shy. Apparently somebody's got a thing for redheads." Mystogan gave me an absolute death glare as the asshole blonde guy I later learned to be Laxus and Master joined me in howling with laughter.
Erza blushed in surprise, "Oh, well…I'm…very flattered. Thank you Mystogan," she said with a smile.
Mystogan was blushing as red as Erza's hair, I could tell even through the teeny little gap in his bandannas. I grinned, "Duuude, turn around! She's smiling at you!" I kid you not, steam erupted out of Mystogan's mask from the heat of his blush and I couldn't help cackling. Then Laxus started singing, "Mystogan and Erza sittin' in a tree…" Mirajane snapped awake to join him in the chorus, "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
Apparently, Mira's teasing instincts were vastly more powerful than Mystogan's sleep spell. Then she realized what was going on and leaned across the bar excitedly, "Oh my god, are you Mystogan?!"
Mystogan waved timidly, "Um, hello." Then he started side shuffling towards the request board, "I'm…just going to get a job and go hide somewhere now…" He ran to the request board, grabbed one, turned to us, "I'm taking this one!" he declared in a panicked voice as he waved the flier at us. Then he bolted out the door and his sleep spell went with him.
I blinked as I realized possibly the most interesting person I'd met since arriving at Fairy Tail was getting away, "WAIT FOR ME!"
…
…
After catching up to Mystogan and having a chat that lasted probably two or three hours as he detailed Edolas's magic problem, their crazy king's plot to fix the problem, and the reason why he was so panicky around Erza, I headed back to the guild hall, thinking hard about what we had discussed.
The instant I got back, "Hey Levy! You still here?!"
The entire guild turned to look at me and then Levy called back, "Yeah I'm still here! What's up?"
"Got a brain teaser from Mystogan I need your help with!" I declared as I walked over, "How are ya with making lacrima?"
"Making lacrima?" Levy asked curiously, "Why does Mystogan need a lacrima? More importantly, what does he need one to do?"
"Basically we're trying to make a Blackout Mode lacrima," I explained quietly, "Mystogan's actually a Holder Type wizard. A Blackout Mode lacrima would help him out big time." That was nowhere near the extent of what he needed it for, but if we could get him even a small one, then he'd be able to solve Edolas's magic problem.
The entirety of Team Shadowgear looked like I had just told them that the moon actually was made of cheese, "MYSTOGAN'S A HOLDER TYPE?!" There was a roar of disbelief from the rest of the guild as Team Shadowgear's incredulous shout registered with them.
"That's incredible," Levy declared after a moment, "Holder type wizards usually have a really hard time competing with Caster types, but Mystogan's S-Class anyway! That's amazing!" Then she spun on her barstool, "GAAAAAH I WANNA PICK HIS BRAINS SO BAD NOW! He must be a freaking genius!"
I grinned at her, "Bet if we make him that lacrima he'll let you pick his brains all you want."
Levy caught my hand and had me flapping along in the breeze like a kite behind her as she excitedly dragged me, "TO THE ARCHIVES!"
…
…
That night, I headed home grinning from ear to ear. It had taken me and Levy all day, but I was pretty sure we had figured out a spell to make the Blackout Mode lacrima. Master had come and told us that if we were successful then we had to be super secret about it, we weren't even allowed to tell anyone what Blackout Mode was for fear that somebody would try to steal what would be basically a source of infinite magic power thanks to the nature of Blackout Mode. He didn't stop us and was actually quite interested to see if we could pull it off, so we chugged right on along.
Now though as I found my apartment door slightly open, and I was certain I hadn't left it that way, I conjured a bomb shot into my hand and cautiously probed the room with my telepathy before I prepared to enter. I sighed and snuffed the bomb shot out as I recognized the mental signature.
I pushed the door open with my shoulder and went in, "Hey Cana, what brings you by?"
Cana was draped over my couch, looking supremely wasted as she laid there with one arm dangling over the edge with a bottle still tangled in her fingers. She lifted her head weakly and groaned. Then she sat up and rubbed some of the sleep from her eyes, "Hey Jerry, sorry for breaking in. I wanted to come by and apologize for being such a bitch to you the other day. It's not your fault you've got the same magic he does, and then you even showed me how to use it and I just felt really bad for treating you like it was some sort of crime just to have that magic…just wanted to apologize…"
She got up and started staggering towards the door. I had to lunge forward and catch her as she almost tripped, "Easy there Cana." It wasn't easy to pull her back to her feet, she was limp as a noodle and I really only had one arm and my telekinesis to work with, but I did, and then I pushed her back over onto the couch. She landed with a little grunt and the springs in the couch squawked in protest. I gave Cana a slightly critical gaze, "Cana, where do you live?"
She mumbled that she lived across town and I shook my head, "No. I am not letting a beautiful young lady like you stagger her way home after dark. Some jack ass would get ideas and might hurt you. No way in hell am I letting that happen. You're staying right here tonight and if I have to knock you out to keep you from leaving I will."
"You're not the boss of me," Cana slurred in annoyance as she tried to get up again despite her legs not cooperating.
I sat down next to her and wrapped my good arm around her before pulling her into me, "No, I'm your guildmate. That means I'm going to take care of you, and I am most certainly not letting you go rambling off to get yourself raped by some random asshole in a dark alley." Cana tried to pull away, but she was so weak I was able to easily pull her back, "Cana, you're drunk. Please, just stay with me tonight."
Then she looked up at me and was quiet for a minute before grinning in a way that I could tell immediately meant a very bad idea had just crossed her mind, "Oh yeah… *hic* … haven't… haven't paid you back yet…"
I frowned and before I could ask what she was talking about, she raised her head up just enough to kiss me. My eyebrows went up in surprise and she tried to push me down onto my back. I caught her shoulder and pushed her back down before declaring firmly, "Not until you are completely sober and in full possession of your mental faculties."
Cana looked surprised and a little hurt as she pulled away and pulled her knees up to her chin, "Oh…okay…s'rry…jesht…jesht wanted to thank you…"
I pushed her back onto her back and leaned over, "Cana, you are a gorgeous young woman and when you are sober again, I will very happily go at it with you just as hard as I did with Mira. If you want to then we'll get so drunk, naked and wild that even if we're blackout drunk, we'll never forget it. Until then, I am a gentleman, and I will not have your first time with me be a drunken one night stand that you'll regret in the morning. Do I make myself clear?"
Cana was quiet for a moment as she looked at me with an utterly starstruck expression, then she smiled softly and reached up to stroke the side of my face, "Why can't more guys be like you?" she asked quietly. Then she closed her eyes and swiftly began to snore.
I sat there for quite a while, just thinking. After a while, I got up and got busy.
…
…
When Cana woke up the next morning, she found a note in her hand instead of the bottle she'd had the night before.
Cana,
We didn't do anything last night. Feel free to have whatever you want out of the fridge and cabinets, and please lock the door when you leave.
I'm Going on a little fishing trip as it just occurred to me that I have yet To Find a good fishing hole in these parts. want to get some big fish with big Gills to cook up for the guild sometime. not much left of the summer, it would be a shame if we didn't throw a beach party. booze, Darts, games, the works.
I'm not sure when I'll be back, if you could please pass this note along to Mirajane and Master Makarov I'd be grateful.
Back soon with the biggest fish I can find,
Jerry
.
.
.
NEXT TIME! ON MAD LITTLE SLICE OF HEAVEN!
My card car slammed to a halt in the drizzling rain and I backed up. I blinked with a shell shocked stare through the misty gloom. The two who couldn't possibly be real, couldn't be really there, stared back at me in surprise.
I raised a finger and took a breath, before asking tentatively as my heart pounded in my chest, "Gabe? Julie?"