Chapter 21: Mildian by Morning

…

I'm not going to transcribe the extensive, and I do mean EXTENSIVE amount of swearing I was doing two weeks later. It would become very repetitive in short order as there are only so many times one can say the same thing in rapid succession.

Why was I furiously swearing you ask? Because some punk with hair like a palm tree, sand magic that would make Gaara of the Freakin' Desert raise an eyebrow, and a best buddy whose tech was like something out of Star Wars (F***IN' HEAT SEEKERS! OUT OF THIN AIR!), plus the freaking army backing them up, had decided they didn't want competition, and as such he had punted our entire group in separate directions. Several dozen miles each in separate directions, all out into the gigantic, horrible, disgustingly bright desert.

I was snapped out of my ranting by Serena turning me around and slapping the taste of sand out of my mouth, "CALM DOWN."

I straightened my head back up with significant cracking of my neck that I was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to be doing and ground out with a crinkledy grimace, "Thank you, Serena. I'm sorry you had to see me like that." I really was. She'd dropped all her plans and dragged Elric along with her to join us the instant I'd told her about the job we were on, citing a complete faith in my abilities to keep them both safe when I brought up the possibility that it would be dangerous. That made the whole getting our butts kicked thing just that little bit much more difficult to swallow.

"None taken," she replied airily, "Now if you're quite through pitching a grade-A hissy fit over the fact that our party just got scattered like leaves on the breeze, not sure I've ever heard the word fuck used quite that many times consecutively before, do you have any way to contact the others?"

I thought about it for a moment and then fished around in my extra dimensional storage before pulling out a card with little pictures of the rest of the team on it, "Sound off, who's not dead?"

A chorus of groans echoed through it, I nodded, "Okay, anybody got eyes on Elric?"

"I'm here sir. May I assume from the fact that you asked after me first that Lady Serena and Master Miguel are with you?"

"That's right," I replied, "So next order of business now that all our clients are accounted for, who's with who?"

"Levy and Lucy are with me," Erza replied.

"If my calculations are right, then we're about thirty miles west of where we were when that sand prick launched us," Levy chimed in.

"Calculation formula please?" Levy quickly rattled off the formula to me and a moment later I was able to confirm, "And thirty miles east for my group. Natsu, Gajeel, Elric? You three together?"

"Yes, we all landed in a clump," Elric replied, "or rather, Masters Natsu, Gajeel and Happy landed awkwardly and rolled down a sand dune. They're currently trying to clean the sand from their clothes. I'm keeping my eyes averted, but if I heard the calculation formula right, then I believe we are approximately thirty miles north of our starting point."

"He heard right," Serena declared, "Elric always hears right."

I nodded, "Alright, now then, next point to consider, does anyone have the book?"

"I have it sir," Elric replied.

I nodded, "Alright, and Levy and I both have it memorized."

"Is there anywhere that we'll be able to regroup prior to arrival at Mattachu?" Erza asked, "Or, Jerry, can you reach that far with your spatial magic?"

"I don't think so Erza, that's way further than I've ever tried to teleport or open a portal, and both of those things get exponentially more draining the further I try to go with them or move," I replied.

"We could meet up at Mildian. Mildian is between here and there and it's where the next marker is," Miguel finally chimed in as he plucked a few experimental notes from his mandolin after shaking sand from it, "It's on the map at the bit of the river that looks like a gummy worm getting electrocuted."

"Gummy worm…getting…electrocuted…" Elric asked slowly.

Then Gajeel and Natsu piped up in unison, "Yeah I see it."

"So the city at the gummy worm?" Natsu asked, "Right, when do we need to be there?"

"I'll start makin' somethin' to get us there," Gajeel declared, "Still gotcher tinderbox Natsu?"

"Of course I've still got it!"

"Good, yer gonna need it."

"It appears the young masters have a way for us to catch up," Elric declared, "When should we arrive to rendezvous?"

"I can have my party there by sundown," I declared as I looked at the map on my archive screen and glanced at the sun heading for the horizon.

"We can make it by morning I think, but we're probably gonna be totally worn out when we get there unless me'n'Natsu eat through every bit of our reserve rations!" Gajeel called.

"It's a hundred and thirty seven miles from our location," Levy declared, "If we hurry, then on foot we might make it in four days. If anyone has any suggestions for how to make it faster, I am so all ears!"

"If you can make a boat then you can sail on the sand," Gajeel declared, "That's what we're doing. You'll have to propel it with magic, but I'm sure the three of you can come up with something."

There was silence for a moment and then Levy's palm audibly met her forehead, "I am such an idiot…SOLID SCRIPT: TANK!" There was a sound like whirring gears and as Lucy squawked in amazement Levy declared, "Yeah we can be there by morning."

I nodded, "Good, we'll see you all there."

…

…

It was peaceful despite the gentle roar of the wind outside the Archive screens I was using to block it out. The moonlit desert raced by beneath us as we zipped along on one of my cards. It was beautiful in a desolate way. It was like flying over a still silver sea forever frozen in the throes of a storm.

I could've gotten us to Mildian by sundown, but with the others unlikely to arrive before morning, there was no need to hurry. From what I'd been able to gather from Miguel and Levy, Mildian had been something similar to Rome a few hundred years previously, a major center of culture, magic, learning and art. It was also the long lost site of the Black Wizard Zeref's first rampage, which had led to the city being abandoned and lost to time as its people were wiped out wholesale and the entire region withered into the sand we were now flying over.

Flora, fauna, geological features which should have endured…all wiped out. I vaguely remembered a line from Lord of the Rings about Sauron being able to twist and torture the hills themselves, seeing evidence of something having been apparently able to literally kill hills into featureless ever shifting sand? It was food for thought, very frightful food. Especially, I mused, Since it seems to have killed the ethernano out of this land too.

It had taken me a while to cotton on to what was off about this desert, but I could tell now that I was out in the middle of it away from my magic heavy friends. There was very little ethernano in the air here, not much in the sand either, and it was growing less and less the deeper into the desert we went. This land was truly as dead as dead could get.

It made sense to me now that Mildian mentioned in the same breath as the likes of Mattachu: lost to the point of maybe never having been there at all. If Mildian was at the epicenter of whatever attack created this desert, then the trek there would slowly send people from Earthland into Magic Deficiency Syndrome, so the environment would start to feel drastically harsher and beat down on you far harder than it should while your body screamed out for a source of sustenance it wouldn't be able to get. If you weren't flying or otherwise covering ground in a serious hurry, you'd shrivel up and join the land itself in death.

It would be a slow insidious death, the land itself drinking you dry like a leech. At least now I knew why nobody had made it back from this journey. Anyone who didn't have a way to replenish their ethernano would get slammed by Magic Deficiency Syndrome and not even realize it until it was too late to get back to ethernano rich air.

Since so many of our party were wizards, it would take us a lot longer to burn through our ethernano reserves. Granted we were burning through our ethernano pretty quick, and the fight earlier definitely hadn't helped despite us being in a much more ethernano rich environment at that time. With the exceptions of Erza, Serena, Elric and Miguel though, all of whom would benefit from being in close proximity to the rest of us, we all had ways to replenish our ethernano supplies. Levy and I had Blackout Mode, Natsu could just start a fire, Lucy's keys (and mine too actually) would help us by casually leaking ethernano from the Celestial Realm, and Gajeel had picked up several pounds of high quality steel back in Thistleton. As long as we could keep our ethernano levels up, we'd be fine.

All that said, finding Mildian was apparently nearly as big a deal as finding Mattachu, but finding Mildian wasn't the job.

It was a very quiet and calm flight in spite of my realizing just exactly why the desert below seemed so supernaturally dead, but it could also be considered a terrible oppressive quiet, like a graveyard. For all that it undoubtedly was though, it still would've been easy for me to fall asleep. Serena already had fallen asleep with her head on my shoulder. I was leaned back on one of my cards as a seat back. If the magic powering my card car wasn't still active, easily holding my attention and keeping me awake, I almost certainly would've nodded off.

…

Who am I kidding? I was still too furious to sleep! I had tamped it down for Serena and Miguel's sake, but it was still there, eating at me like smoldering embers in the firepit. I was a badass Fairy Tail wizard. I had been a badass even at a single percent of my power! By all logic, I should be as close to unstoppable as humanly possible! I should at the very least be considered a threat by anyone who crossed me dammit!

And yet I, along with my entire team, had been summarily defeated out of hand by a smug pair of punks who popped up out of nowhere, declared we were in their way, and then played cat and mouse with us for fifteen minutes before turning the very dunes we were standing on into giant catapults and launching us over the horizon! It was humiliating! Infuriating! Degrading, insulting and did I mention that it REALLY PISSED ME OFF?!

I must've growled without meaning to because Miguel looked over at me. He was quiet for a moment and then, "So you're still angry I take it?"

"Of course I'm angry," I snarled quietly so as not to disturb Serena, "I've grown very proud of my power and that of my team. Being casually swatted aside like gnats and scattered to the wind on a whim is the gravest insult I can think of off the top of my head."

"I would imagine so," Miguel replied somberly as he swung his mandolin around to the front and began to gently pluck soothing notes from its strings, "May I play a song to attempt to soothe your frayed nerves?"

I nodded, "Yeah, it might help. Thank you Doctor."

The third Doctor Whistler laughed as he began to pick up the tempo, "Jerry please, I've told you. We are friends, call me Miguel." A few seconds later he burst into song…

"Look out new world, here we come!

Brave, intrepid, and then sooome!

Pioneers of maximum, audacity whose resumes,

Show that we are just the team,

to live where others, merely dream!

Building up a head of steeeam…

On the trail we blaze!"

It was hard to not smile as Miguel let himself get swept up in his song. Clearly it brought back a lot of good memories for him, and I had to admit, it did me good too.

His song only lasted a few minutes, but it had its intended effect and the smoldering rage within me burned down to mere sparks of discontent that I could easily ignore. I smiled at him, "How'd you ever wind up an academic Miguel? You missed your calling as an entertainer!"

Miguel laughed lightly, "It's a family thing. I wanted to live up to my grandfather's legacy and his grandfather's as well. I couldn't just let his dream of bringing back the reality of Mattachu die with him. That's why I led my own expedition three years ago you know. I just wish I'd known what was waiting for us," he added with a small smile, "If I'd known then what I know now, more of my party might've survived. We could've saved half of them if we'd just brought bug spray and known not to drink the water!"

"You speak of it quite lightly," I observed quietly.

Miguel grimaced, "I could beat myself up over it." He gazed up at the stars, "I could beat myself black and blue over my failings and let their deaths destroy me. Or…" he grinned, "I can complete the mission we set out to accomplish. Now that all of you are here, we can make it to Mattachu and bring back proof! We can reconnect the lost city with the world! I promised Tulio and Chel I'd make it! That I'd tell our tale to the world!"

He shot me a watery smile, "I can't let them down Jerry. If my last words are to tell even a single person back in Fiore the story of our journey, the reality of the city of gold and the people still living there, then that is my duty to their memory! I will not fail."

I smiled as his words hit a chord in me, "Heh, you sound like me."

Miguel tilted his head, "Oh? Something you want to talk about?"

I shook my head, "Something I never wanted to even think about again, but it got stirred up about two weeks ago and it's…not something that just fades back to obscurity quickly once it rears its head."

Miguel watched me with what seemed to me like an expectant light in his eye and I sighed, "Serena's out cold, and nobody else is here, or I'd never tell you this. I don't want any of them to think less of me for my past foolishness." I took a deep breath, "When I was a child, there was a girl who lived nearby. She wasn't popular because her appearance was strange and she was a timid girl, wholly lacking in confidence. I'm…ashamed to admit that I was in no way kind to her. Among our age group, I was undoubtedly the least pleasant, especially to her."

I sighed, "I didn't know that there was a reason for her to be that way. Being a child, it never even began to occur to me. My parents were kind and loving, I never could've imagined what hers were like behind closed doors." I grimaced, "I didn't realize how awful I was to her until it was too late. Her last day on earth was hell," I said quietly, "And it was all my fault."

I took a deep breath to still the old tremors of remorse, "Before I became a wizard, I was going to school to become a social worker. Someone who could hopefully stop things like what happened to her from ever happening to anyone else ever again. Nobody should have to live like that," I said quietly, "And I feel like a goddamned horrid piece of shit every time I think about her because I know that I was only doing it to try to atone for how awful I was to her. It wasn't what I wanted. I had, and still have, absolutely no passion for it at all. It makes me feel all dead inside and it pisses me off and all I can feel whenever I hear about something like that is hate hate HATE for the monsters that would do something like that…I feel so helpless and angry because I know that I can't save them all no matter how much I try… Every fiber of sense in my head screamed at me to stay the hell out of that entire field of work for my own mental health, and if I'm honest, I only did it to keep my guilt from drowning me… it was all just my way to try and convince myself that I wasn't a monster. Drown in guilt, or in fury trying to throw the little bit of help I can provide to those who need it to act as a life preserver…hell of a catch 22."

I sighed and looked up at the stars, "I didn't know what was happening behind closed doors. I didn't find out the details of what all went down until years later when I could get my parents to hurry up and spill the beans about what they knew. There was no way I could've known. It wasn't my fault. I had nothing to do with it. I was a stupid brat who didn't know any better. I've told myself all that a thousand times and a hundred thousand more besides. Every time I do," I grimaced, "every one of those rings hollow as a worthless platitude. No matter how much I regret it and tell myself there was no way I could've known, it doesn't change what I did and it damn sure doesn't excuse it."

I smirked slightly, "A common question back home was what kind of magic you'd want if you could be a wizard. A lot of people said flight, or teleportation. Super strength was a popular one too, as were mind reading and invisibility and being able to see through people's clothes. If you could have one wish, what would it be? A fortune? The love of whoever you want? Rule the world?"

I quirked an eyebrow at the stars, "Me? Ever since then, I've only had one answer. Ever since then, every shooting star, every birthday candle, dandelion tuft and wishbone that's come my way," I raised a finger gun at the shooting star that flashed across the sky, "I wish I could have a chance to save her."

I turned the finger gun to my head and twitched my thumb with a small smile, "Click. This thing never works."

Miguel was quiet for a moment, and his expression made it clear that he'd been listening carefully, "Well um, yes, I, uh…" he gave me his very best smile, "…I don't know how to respond to that at all."

He scratched his head after a moment, even he could only hold a smile so long, "I, want to say something comforting but…I doubt I can say anything that you haven't heard before."

I laughed lightly, "Don't worry about it Miguel. I'm sorry for turning the mood somber like that. It's fine. Let's speak of happier things. What are you going to eat when we get back?"

Miguel's eyes watered as a huge grin spread across his face, "Belga caviar with saffron seasoned truffles on the side! That's just the appetizer! For the main course, a succulent Minstrelian steak with a bottle of Joyan single-malt whiskey. I don't care that it's the most expensive drink in Ishgar, I am drinking the whole bottle! And then for desert…" It's a wonder there wasn't a line of drool eeking out the corner of his mouth, "Chocolate mousse!"

Then he raised a finger as his expression turned serious, "Before all that though!" He lifted his chest length hair with a pained grimace, "I really need a haircut…" he reached up and scratched his extra bushy golden beard, "You don't happen to have a razor do you? I've almost completely forgotten what my face looks like under all this!"

I chuckled lightly, "When we catch up to Lucy, we'll see if she can summon her Celestial Spirit Cancer for you. He's an exceptional hair dresser."

"Oh really?!" Miguel asked excitedly, "That's wonderful! What about you? What are you going to have?"

I thought for a moment and then smiled, "It doesn't much matter to me what it is as long as Mira cooks it."

Miguel blinked at me, "Mira?"

I nodded, "My…well she insisted we weren't dating even though we have been. I suppose the simplest way to put it is that she's my lover but up until recently she's insisted love's got nothing to do with it and she only continued to see me because I humored her in that." I smiled at the image of her in my mind's eye, "She's been an absolute angel to me the whole time I've known her, and for all that she insisted we're not exclusive, I don't think she's been with anyone else in quite a long time, and certainly not since we became a not-an-item. She's a magnificent cook, and a wonderful friend. Whenever a job goes badly, she always manages to cheer me up, and more often than not, it doesn't even take so much as a kiss, although that certainly helps! Just being around her lifts my spirits. She's sweet and clever and just…everything I could ever have wanted in a woman."

"She sounds wonderful," Miguel declared with a smile, "Although, with that being said, um…" He glanced meaningfully at Serena, "…what's, what's going on here? With eh, you…and Miss Serena?"

I grimaced, "The day before we docked at Puerta Samba and Natsu and Gajeel ran into you, Mira and I had a pregnancy scare. I finally found out why Mira's been so reluctant to commit, and she's asked for six months to sort out some emotional baggage and find out whether or not she's going to be able to proceed with our relationship. She told me to get any womanizing out of my system before Valentine's Day because if she doesn't wind up getting back together with that ex, then she's made no bones about the fact that she'll probably latch onto me and never let go. That's a sentiment I'm all too happy to return, but until then, Mira wants me to, 'shop around' I think she put it, and make sure she's what I want. As if there could ever be any doubt," I snorted.

"Anyways," I continued, "Serena here was all too happy to jump on the opportunity for a romp, and when she found out about where we're going, well, you were there for it. She canceled all her plans immediately to be a part of it because she has absolute faith in us to keep her safe. That's part of why I'm so upset that we got our asses kicked back there. I feel like I really let her down you know?" I took a deep breath and let it out.

"We thought it would be just a little booty call sort of thing, but…" I smiled down at the headful of dark hair resting on my shoulder, "One small blessing about my magic's innate properties. You see light magic has a rather obscure branch that I'm fortunate enough to possess an aptitude for known as Desire. It allows the manipulation of one's basic needs. One of those needs is the desire for security. I found out the night after I met her, Serena here is prone to terrible nightmares; thrashing, screaming, god awful, wake-up-in-an-ice-cold-sweat nightmares. She won't tell me what about, but it's apparently a chronic problem that runs in her family. I don't think she's as happy as she pretends to be, and I get the feeling she's got some pretty severe issues behind that smile, way beyond what she lets on. I don't know what's wrong, and I won't ask. When she feels ready to talk about it, she will. In the meantime, my magic can grant her at least a little peace of mind."

"There are a lot of people I can't help," I declared quietly, "But if I can make Serena comfortable in her own skin for even a little while, then I will."

Miguel smiled, "You are a very kind person Jerry."

I smiled thinly, "I exercised more than enough cruelty for one lifetime before I was twelve." I shook my head and smacked the heel of my palm into it a few times, "Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!"

Miguel cleared his throat, "Yes. Ah, why don't you tell me how you wound up with such an interesting scar?" he gestured to the scar that I'd picked up in the avalanche, "A wizard as tough as yourself doesn't get hurt easily, there must be quite an interesting story behind it!"

I laughed, "Hah! You're right about that!" So I proceeded to explain to him everything that had happened between my unlocking Crash Magic and the battle with the Lullaby ripping the wound back open. I ran a hand over the scar as I finished nearly an hour later with a chuckle, "I've had more brushes with death or permanent debilitation in the last few months than in the entire rest of my life combined, and it's only by pure luck and the capability of my friends that I've made it this long, but you know something?" I mused, "I wouldn't trade a single second of it for anything."

…

…

We reached Mildian around midnight and I was struck by just how quiet it was as we landed at the gate. Nestled in a quiet valley that the mostly dried up river snaked through, Mildian was a walled but sprawling city built with copious amounts of marble and beautiful architecture not at all dissimilar to classic Greek style. Despite the architecture though, high above the center of the city rose an immense clock tower with an immense, ornate and accurate clock. The desert had surrounded it, but did not intrude. If I'd been told about it before arriving, I would've expected it to be half buried beneath the sand, but it was still in pristine condition as though it had still had people living there the day before.

I gently lifted Serena as we stepped off my card, using my magic to ensure I didn't wake her and carried her through the gate, "Hey Miguel, you feel that?"

Miguel looked up at the gate as we passed through it, "Now that you mention it, yes. The city doesn't feel dead like the desert did. Maybe there's some sort of lingering magic from Zeref's rampage?"

"More likely there's some sort of extremely powerful magic source here that Zeref didn't take when he came through," I mused, "Speaking of, anything we need to grab while we're here? If this place is half as significant a find as you and Levy have hyped it up to be, then wouldn't some proof of its existence be as archaeologically important as Mattachu?"

Miguel simply pointed and I turned my gaze to follow his finger. In the middle of the street was a stone etched with symbols I didn't know. "That says, 'You may rest here for one night, but leave in the morning and take nothing with you lest the ghosts of Mildian strike you down'," Miguel explained, "It's a bit more flowery than that, but that's what it boils down to. There's a temple further inside the city with another sign that says the curse can be staved off by leaving an offering of food for the gods."

"Did they take the food?" I asked curiously.

"Something did!" Miguel replied, "We camped outside the walls when my group was here. This place is spooky even in the day time!" A tumbleweed rolled past on a breeze that sounded like a low ghostly moan. Miguel immediately hid behind me and admittedly my hair stood on end as I suddenly felt hidden eyes upon us and a strange chill settled over me.

Then I realized there was magic laced into the chill and my nerves turned to irritation, "Somebody's screwing with us."

"You mean there's someone here?!" Miguel demanded.

"I can't detect them with my telepathy," I replied as I scanned the area with my eyes and telepathy, "But there's magic in this chill."

"Do you think it's a ghost?" Miguel asked nervously.

"As long as it's willing to abide by the one night rule, I don't think we have anything to worry about," I replied, "But we should keep alert just in case." I raised my voice, "We will abide by your rules! One night, and we will exit this gate in the morning! We will take nothing from your city and we will not harm the home of your people!" The chill faded and I knew the city's mysterious guardian(s?) had accepted my words, but the little surge of cold seemed to be their way of reminding us that they'd be watching.

"Which way to the temple?" I asked Miguel a moment later, "We should leave an offering, as a mark of respect for their beliefs if nothing else."

"Can we really spare that food?" Miguel asked, only to be suddenly assaulted by the chill again.

I smiled thinly, "Whether we can or not, it seems our host likes that idea. We should try to be gracious guests. Given the state of the desert, they probably haven't had outside food in a very long time. The novelty of it should be quite the treat for them."

I thought about summoning Virgo or Leo, but a quick mental check of the date told me it was Sunday, which meant no Virgo, and it was also nighttime, which meant no Leo. I thought about trying to summon Sagittarius and contract with him, but I'd asked Virgo to check what days he would be available in advance before I summoned him for the first time so that I didn't accidentally summon him at a bad time out of ignorance, and Sunday and Monday were his two days off out of reverence for Artemis and Apollo. It would be the height of bad form to summon him in the night between his two days of rest, so instead I'd have to bring Serena and Miguel with me rather than let them rest under the protection of my spirits.

I knelt and gently lifted my sleep spell from Serena. She immediately shivered, it was quite cool out. A second later her eyes flicked open and as she realized where she was, a fierce blush colored her face quite adorably in the moonlight. She averted her gaze from mine and looked around, "Is this Mildian?"

I nodded, "We can only stay for one night, and we need to go to the temple to make a peace offering of food as thanks for being allowed to stay. I was going to let you sleep, but none of my spirits will be available to watch over you until morning. Besides," I added with a grin, "You wanted to see places nobody else ever gets to right? You might never pass this way again, it would be a shame to miss out don't you think?"

Serena got to her feet and we headed down the large main street. The streets were lined with stone pavers and shone a pale bluish white in the moonlight as we walked between the abandoned buildings. Miguel hadn't been wrong. The entire city had the unmistakable feel of a place which had been not just abandoned but abandoned for a reason, like there was something here which meant humans shouldn't be. It wasn't like the desert though, that was a 'nothing is here and nothing SHOULD be here'. It was a graveyard at midnight, the sort of place your instincts naturally told you to scram. Mildian felt… hostile. It was more your instincts screaming than telling. Off hand, I'd say it felt like someone had been actively pumping a faint air of fear magic through the place to discourage visitors.

"I don't like this," Serena muttered, "It's too quiet."

"Kind of place you expect something out of a horror novel to happen in," Miguel muttered.

I just looked past him in a politely surprised way with a silly smile, "Zeref?! Is that you?"

"WHERE?!" Miguel yelped as he immediately hid between me and Serena and peered out from behind me like I was a wall.

I don't think our observer realized I heard their narrowly restrained snicker over the sound of Serena looking at Miguel like he was an idiot, "Really? Really Doctor?"

Miguel stepped out from between us, "Um…"

I just grinned as I put a hand on Miguel's shoulder, "My dear Doctor Whistler, aren't you aware of the very best way to WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

"WHERE?!" Miguel yelped as he hid behind me again.

Serena trembled with narrowly constrained laughter as a smile twitched its way across her face. Unless I missed my guess, our mystery watcher was trying their level damnedest to hold a laugh in, if the sniggers, snorts and faint rustle of fabric were anything to go by. I looked around, the echo off the buildings was playing hell with my ability to pinpoint our watcher's location, but if I could make them laugh out loud...

I shrugged with a smile as I released a pulse of Sense of Security to dispel the lingering Fear Magic, because I was now sure that's what it was, "What I was saying Miguel, is that the best way to deal with spooky silence is to fill it with the sound of laughter. I've never seen an oppressive and creepy atmosphere yet that could stand being laughed at. They clear right out at the first show of good spirits. Now lemme tell ya about the time three wizards, two dragon slayers and a cat walked into a bar…"

…

…

It took us half an hour to make it to the temple. It would've been twenty-five, but my jokes slowed us down. As we climbed the wide stone steps, I finished my latest one, "And so she asks the parrot, 'have you learned your lesson?' 'Rrrak, yes ma'am I promise I'll be good, but, I have to ask…what did the turkey do?'"

Miguel chuckled, his nervousness having vanished in wake of his laughter, "Ah, yes, the poor turkey!"

Serena looked over at me with a knowing smile, "Don't you think you should stop beating around the bush?" I was quietly impressed that she'd apparently not only figured out what I was up to, but also spotted our watcher as well.

I shrugged with a smile and pitched my voice to be sure that our observer could hear, "If she wants to remain hidden, that's her business." I sat down at the top of the steps and started pulling out my cooking implements, "If on the other hand she wants to come out and get a hot meal that she doesn't have to cook herself, she is more than welcome."

Miguel blinked at us, "She?"

Before Serena or I could explain, a loud piercing whistle screamed through the city as a bright white light arced high overhead before bursting in an explosion that bathed the whole city harsh brightness. I narrowly caught a glimpse of our lone watcher as she turned and bolted for who knew where.

"Shit," I growled, "Looks like Alvarez caught up. You two get inside the temple and hide."

"What do you mean us two?!" Serena demanded, "Where are you going?!"

I grinned viciously and right before I teleported, "It's time for a rematch."

.

.

.

...

NEXT TIME on Mad Little Slice of Heaven...

...

"Hey Lector," A little boy with pale blonde hair mused as he looked south from his perch on the snow covered mountainside, "Do you think I could eat that?"

"What?" The small brown cat cuddled against his chest in the bundle of blankets asked blearily.

The boy just pointed and the cat turned, his eyes immediately going wide as he saw an immense white light illuminate the southern sky so brightly that it blocked out the moon.

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"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOMEONE'S FIRING AN ETHERION CANNON?!" Siegrain and Ultear roared in unison as the panicked toad messenger simply pointed a trembling finger out the window facing the southeast where the night sky was lit with unimaginably bright light from somewhere beyond the horizon as nearly a quarter of the southern sky turned white.