Author's Note: CW a lot of gore

X

"This… isn't very… helpful…"

After sleeping most of Saturday, Remus decided it might be a good idea to 'get sick' a day early to maybe help disguise being gone during the full moon again. It meant missing Magical Theory, but he suspected he'd have just slept through it anyway. Now it was Sunday morning, and Sirius had visited; James and Peter were sleeping in, since James didn't have any more Quidditch practices until after the holidays. Sirius had brought notes from Magical Theory which consisted of two lines from obviously the beginning of the lecture, a line about raisins which took Remus a while to figure out actually meant reasons, and a very detailed drawing of Chang with a broomstick up his bum.

Remus glanced up. "This is all you took?"

Sirius was sitting next to him, eating some of Remus's bacon that Pomfrey had brought. "I might have been kicked out about thirty minutes into the lesson."

Remus sighed. "Did Chang see this drawing?"

"Absolutely not, I'm not that daft!" Sirius protested. Remus stared at him until he meekly admitted, "I did, however, inform him that his lectures might be more interesting if he removed the broomstick from his arse."

"Sirius."

"He kicked me out, and Flitwick told me last night that I'm banned from Magical Theory."

Remus tilted his head back, groaning. "I don't know whether to be dismayed or impressed that you got yourself banned from an extracurricular activity only a couple of lessons in."

Sirius perked up. "I'd personally prefer impressed. You should eat, you look thin."

"I always look thin." He took a piece of bacon anyway, munching on it and hardly noticing the crumbs going everywhere. "I'm sure someone else will have notes."

"You could ask Snivellus," Sirius teased.

Remus swatted him with a piece of bacon which broke off into little bits that went everywhere. "Notes that aren't too covered in grease to read. Shame Lily isn't taking it…"

Sirius picked up one of the pieces from the blanket and popped it in his mouth. "It's only two nights, right?"

"Mmhmm." Remus picked up a spoon to scoop up some beans, though just stared at them. Only two nights was good, however with everything that had happened since the previous full moon he wasn't sure how it was going to go. Between finding out the truth, his father's visit the other night, Arthur's death… he had a lot that weighed on his mind which sometimes made things go bad. Hopefully enough time had passed that it didn't affect the werewolf.

"And I'll be able to visit you?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "You're visiting me now." He finally ate the beans and then let the spoon fall onto the plate. "Are you wearing your glasses, by the way?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake!" he moaned. "Don't harass me about that!"

"This is literally the first time I've asked you since Thursday."

"I did, when I was doing homework last night." Sirius shot him a glare. "Happy?"

"Very," Remus sniffled. "Except, since when did you do homework? What were you really doing?"

"I was doing homework!" Sirius protested. "My Muggle Studies essay, that's due for the holidays. I've decided to try to write about motorcycles, but there is an abysmal amount of research available in the library. And by that I mean pretty much nothing! Professor Lewis said she'd be able to get me some stuff."

Remus wished more than ever he had been able to get something motorcycle-related for Sirius for Christmas.

"What are you doing your big essay on?"

"I haven't decided yet."

Sirius began choking on his bacon. "What? I've done more work on a homework assignment than you?!"

"We only got the assignment Thursday, and it isn't due until the twentieth," Remus muttered. "I've got other assignments to finish before then. Oh! Speaking of which." He bent over the edge of his bed, trying to reach for his satchel. He probably would have fallen out of his bed if Sirius hadn't grabbed his waist after he began slipping.

Unfortunately his shirt had ridden up a bit, and Sirius was holding onto Remus's bare waist. Fingers against his skin.

His entire body felt electrified and he gave a slight shudder which he was able to pass off as fear of falling. Sirius hauled him back up, thankfully letting go. Remus, bright red, pushed his shirt down. "Th-thanks," he managed to somehow say, feeling as though his midriff was on fire. That Sirius had left scorching fingerprints on his body.

"Great idea to tip yourself upside down when you're so clumsy," Sirius said, his heart rate going rather fast for some reason Remus couldn't figure out. Part of him tried to pretend Sirius's heart was beating like that from their skin contact… but it was such a false hope that he pushed it aside, not even wanting to pretend. "I could see you falling out of bed and hitting your head."

"I'd heal." Remus rummaged through his satchel and handed Sirius a thick, rolled up piece of parchment. "Here."

"What's this? A confession of your undying love?"

Remus thought he might die, and he punched Sirius a little too hard in the shoulder. Sirius yelped, dropping the scroll and grabbing his shoulder. "No you dolt, that's my History essay, due tomorrow. Could you take it in for me? Sorry if I hurt you." Merlin, why did Sirius have to do and say things like that?! Why did he have to… be so… damned flirty? Of course, the other day he had rambled for nearly a full minute to McGonagall about how fetching her new sash looked around her waist, so it was just his personality.

Sirius picked the parchment up, weighing it in his hand. "How much was due?"

"At least two feet."

"And how long is this?"

Remus coughed and began going through his satchel again. "I don't know. A little more than—hey!"

Sirius had unrolled it and was measuring it. "Five feet. Remus. Five feet. This is taller than you."

Remus snatched it back, rolling it back up. "Is not! I'm over five feet now, thank you very much."

"WHAT?!" Sirius burst into laughter. "You are not!"

"Am so!"

Sirius climbed out of bed, snapping his fingers. "Come on, then."

Remus got out of bed as well, and Sirius used the essay to measure him. "See?" Remus huffed.

"You are half a bloody inch taller than this essay, Remus Lupin." Sirius rolled it back up. "Congratulations on being half an inch taller than your essay."

Remus got back into bed, glaring. "I'm tired. I should sleep."

"You're just mad."

He yanked the blankets up, trying not to laugh as he tried to pretend to snore. Sirius jumped on the bed and began tickling him. He shrieked, flailing wildly and kicking the blanket off the bed, as well as the tray of food which he had forgotten was still there. It clattered to the floor, sending food splattering everywhere, and the plate broke into several pieces. Both boys froze and Sirius was in the middle of trying to clean it when Pomfrey threw open the door. She also threw a fit, and then threw Sirius out. She threatened Remus with not allowing any visitors if that kept up, and made him get out of bed so she could change the sheets.

"You're old enough to know better than to throw your food on the floor!"

"I dropped it," he squeaked after getting back under his new blanket.

"Dropped it halfway across the room!" She shook her head and cleaned the mess up with a flick of her wand. "Do you need more breakfast?"

"No, Madame Pomfrey…"

She left the room with a sigh, slamming the door shut behind her. He could hear Sirius on the other side trying to sweet talk her which must have worked since when James and Peter visited after lunch, Sirius was allowed to come back.

X

It was a bloodbath.

Remus sort've woke up on Monday morning, his body burning, the very air feeling like it was tearing at his skin. He was covered in blood and when he managed to roll over he could see a hunk of wolf flesh a foot or so away. That's all he remembered before passing out, and when he woke up again he was in the hospital wing. Immediately he knew Pomfrey had given him something for the pain, though his body still felt… horrible.

He wriggled one arm then the other before trying his toes. His right arm and leg were both in a lot of pain, especially his leg. He wasn't even sure if he managed to move his right toes.

Grunting, he pushed himself up on his left arm, ignoring the searing heat consuming him. He weakly pushed his blanket away and saw he was in short pajama bottoms, owing to the fact there was a bulky bandage wrapped around his right calf. There were bandages all over him, after he shifted his weight slightly and felt them pressed against his chest.

He tried to lift his hand to look under his shirt which made the pain too much, and he blacked out again.

Pomfrey was there when he awoke again, urging him to get some food in him. Liquefied food. She spooned some in his mouth and he choked it down before falling unconscious once more.

X

"… don't know what to do…"

"I suppose we should take him."

"I can do it."

"I'll help, Poppy."

Remus stirred, opening his eyes to see Pomfrey and Dumbledore standing over him. Pomfrey was leaning down, about to slip an arm under him.

"Madame Pomfrey?" he asked, blinking a few times. "Professor?"

"You're awake." Dumbledore gave him a smile. "How do you feel?"

"I… d-don't…" He swallowed, his mouth feeling dry. "Not good."

"I'm afraid you need to return to Hogsmeade," Dumbledore said. "It will be sunset soon."

Already? He struggled to get up until Pomfrey snapped at him. She scooped him up in her arms, and Dumbledore waved his wand. When they walked through the school, nobody even glanced at them; Dumbledore must have done an invisibility spell.

Remus curled up against Pomfrey, whimpering in pain whenever his leg was jolted. She apologized, and he apologized, feeling bad that she felt the need to apologize.

Soon they were under the tree, which took a moment and Remus biting his tongue so he wouldn't scream when Pomfrey jerked him a little too much accidentally. She carried him down the passage and with Dumbledore's help, got him up through the trapdoor.

"I'm sorry," he croaked, shrinking back on the sofa they placed him on. "I'm so sorry." They were doing more than anyone would expect them to. More than he'd ever expect them to. He wanted to cry at how much work he was creating for them.

"It is all right," Dumbledore said in a reassuring voice. He placed a hand gently against Remus's shoulder. "I am sorry we have to leave you like this."

They left, or must have left since when Remus opened his eyes again they were gone. Some time had passed, though he wasn't sure how much. Slowly he reached down, unwinding the bandage still on his calf. Underneath was a bad wound, some of his flesh still missing though the skin was starting to scab over.

He tried to get undressed, but it was too difficult and he gave up about five minutes before sunset. He slid down to the floor, laying there as he waited. He wasn't sure which would be worse… remaining human and dealing with all this pain all night, or turning into a wolf and probably destroying his body again?

Five minutes passed, then ten, then half an hour. His body felt itchy, and his leg was hurting again. He shut his eyes, drifting in and out of sleep until the clouds parted and he was dragged back into the wolf form.

X

"You need to eat."

That was the first thing he remembered hearing the next day though Pomfrey told him he had woken up a few other times. He squinted at her holding a spoon out and opened his mouth, swallowing the liquid rather painfully. He ate a couple more bites before falling back asleep, and when he woke up Pomfrey was there again with more food.

"You're very weak and thin," she said, holding the spoon out. "You've lost weight again."

This time Remus downed almost the entire bowl of broth and was able to sit up a little. When he looked at his arms he could see that he had indeed lost weight once more, though nowhere near as bad as he did the previous year. There also wasn't much pain, though there was a drifty sort of feeling.

"You gave me medicine?" he asked, a little slurred.

"Of course I did."

"Doesn't… help much."

Pomfrey looked a little cross. "Obviously it helps enough that you've noticed. Are you able to eat more right now?" He was still hungry but also very tired, and shook his head. "I'll be back in an hour."

That hour passed in almost the blink of an eye and this time she had a thick milkshake-type of drink which he managed to finish. It put some energy in his veins and he sat up a little more, asking about his body. Pomfrey was rather ashen as she said it was very bad, that there had been blood everywhere.

"I've given you some potions to replenish your blood supply," she said, tucking the blanket carefully around him. "Your leg was torn up more than it was yesterday." She paused then added, "You'll be in here for a while."

"Did you write my parents?" he asked, a little fearfully, and tried not to flinch when she nodded. "How… bad? How bad is my leg?"

Pomfrey remained silent for so long that Remus reached down, trying to untuck the blanket to see. His leg did feel very weird. Almost like—almost like—

"It isn't there," she said, taking his hand before he could properly get a grip on the blanket. "You… your leg…"

It took a moment for her words to sink in, to realize what she meant. For a split second he wanted to ask where it was, then he realized what must have happened. "I chewed it off," he said flatly. This time she flinched, and nodded again. "I chewed my own leg off." He felt dizzy and distant, and desperately wanted to look. "I'm going to be missing a leg." How the hell was he supposed to explain that? What the hell was he going to say that would explain how he lost a leg?!

Panic began taking over, and his breathing became rapid. He could feel his leg being chewed off, could feel the pain, could—

"I don't think so, dear," she said just as he was trying to imagine what life with only one leg would be like, and he looked sharply up. "Remember in your first year? You… lost an eye. It… it grew back. You've grown a finger back, too. Remember?"

Magical wounds were a little more difficult to heal, and wounds from dark magic were nearly impossible. Something like this… but… then again he did grow an eye and a finger. However, those were much smaller than a leg. "You—you think—"

"I am only assuming," she said, patting his hand. "The wound already looks different, when I changed the bandages earlier. It's…"

"Go ahead, I want to know," he urged when she paused.

"It's sort of… stretching out. I think it's growing back. I've injected some numbing agents into your leg, as well as given you some other things to hopefully help the process."

His fingers curled tightly, and he wondered if he was going to be sick. "I w-want to see."

She pulled the blanket back and began unpeeling the bandages around his leg. His head throbbed and his breath caught in his throat when he saw his right leg ended around where his left leg's calf was. He grit his teeth when Pomfrey pulled the last bandage away, and forced himself to look.

It was… a little raggedy, but slightly better than he expected. The skin was scabbing and smoothing over, so he couldn't really see inside his leg. But it was stretched out oddly, like a rod was pushing outward. His bone, he supposed. It would push out and the skin and flesh would grow along it as it did. He'd even have to grow a foot ba—

His finger had taken a good while to properly become a finger again, for him to be able to leave. A day, or around that. If it took over twenty-four hours for his tiny pinky to come back… his leg…

"How long will this take?!" He tried to calculate the weight difference between his pinky and his leg but all that filled his mind was that it would take days maybe a week. It couldn't take a week. It couldn't!

Pomfrey rubbed some lotion on the spot, not even making a face even though it must have been really gross to touch. The numbing stuff was really working since he didn't feel her touch at all. "You're not to think about classes until you're better."

While classes were part of the problem, there was a bigger issue making it difficult for him to breathe. "The exams—"

"Can wait, if it takes you more than a week," she said, putting clean bandages around the stump. He trembled, and she ignored it as she pulled the blanket back over him. "Do not give me that look, Remus Lupin. You're regrowing a leg, and it will be slower than if I had to use Skele-Gro, so you're simply going to have to deal with it."

Skele-Gro could give him his leg back in a day or two. His healing ability would take much longer. Much, much longer…

If it did take longer than a week, maybe his teachers would let him take the exams late. Or over the holidays, since he was staying. He fidgeted, chewing at his lip, and staring at nothing until he realized Pomfrey was talking to him again.

"Your friends," she repeated. "What should I do? They have been in and out of here more times than I can count since yesterday. Especially Pettigrew, he's been quite worried."

"Peter?"

"Yes," Pomfrey said gently. "He's been scared silly you're dying. He was crying this morning when I told him he couldn't see you, and I had to comfort him. He was hysterical."

Sneaky rat, Remus couldn't help but think, wondering if Pomfrey had hugged him or rubbed his back. What sort of comforting did he get from her?

"With as… wild as you boys are, it might be a risk letting them in to see you until you, erm, have a leg again—"

He leaned forward. "No. Please. I'll be very careful. When I'm bad, they're gentle, I swear. They won't know. I promise. Please. I—I really want to see them. The—James, Sirius, and Peter, I mean. At least them."

Pomfrey frowned. "What if they find out your leg is missing?"

"They won't," he lied. "I swear. Please. I really want to see them. If I tell them my body is very weak which—which I look it, don't I?" She nodded at the question. "It will be okay, they won't be wild."

She let out a sigh. "We'll see. Now, get some more rest. I'll bring you some more food in a bit."

She left the room and Remus lay back down, resisting the urge to reach down and touch the bandages. He wondered what happened to the rest of his leg. Whenever he tore his flesh from his body in werewolf form, it stayed as part wolf. Was there part of a wolf leg in the house? Did Pomfrey know? Was he going to have to sneak in as soon as he could walk to find his own leg and get rid of it somehow?

Feeling queasy, he squeezed his eyes shut and soon drifted off again.

X

Aching, burning pain woke him up and he couldn't help but give a cry. It almost felt like he was transforming, at least in his leg. With other painful additions. Pomfrey came in and rubbed numbing agents on his thigh, to help stop the pain. His stump had grown even more while he slept and he figured at this rate he'd definitely be out of the hospital wing in time for the exams. It was hard not to reach down and bother the stump, though. He kept resisting the urge to touch the bandages. Or remove them. He wanted to see.

He ate a large bowl of soup and then was able to read for a little while, until he heard voices outside the door. The Marauders, begging to be let in. Pomfrey cracked open the door and held it firmly, asking Remus how he felt about company. He sat up a bit more and adjusted the blanket to hide his missing leg as much as possible, then said they could come in for a bit.

They happily burst in, then all of them froze when they saw him.

"You look—" Sirius started, then stopped.

"Awful," Peter finished, giving an 'oof' when Sirius elbowed him.

"I feel awful," Remus said quietly, trying to look sick for Madame Pomfrey's benefit and not someone who had chewed off his own leg. He could almost taste the blood in his mouth. The flesh. Tearing bone away. He was a monster.

Pomfrey glared at the three boys. "Only a few minutes, he needs his rest. Don't jostle the bed. Or him."

"Yes, Madame Pomfrey," all three of them chorused, sounding like angels as they each took their usual spot carefully, or tried to. When Sirius began to sit on the bed, the nurse admonished him then went and fetched chairs for Sirius and Peter to use. Once satisfied they were sitting in them, Pomfrey hmphed and shut the door.

"What happened?" James asked immediately.

"We couldn't see you at all," Sirius said, brow wrinkled as he moved from his chair to the bed. "She said you were very weak. It's been ages!"

"I had a really bad moon," he said, debating whether or not to show them the stump.

James reached out, taking Remus's hand. "You look so thin." He ran his thumb across the back of Remus's hand. "You've lost weight again."

"I know."

"It might be a couple of days before you can return to classes," Sirius said cautiously, giving him a look.

Remus sighed. "I know."

Silence. And then, "And you're not climbing the walls trying to get out?!" Peter demanded.

Remus glowered at him. "I am upset about missing classes, but I'd rather miss a few classes than miss the exams! If I stress too much it might make my body take longer to heal. I need to do whatever I can to get better." It was agony trying not to go mental over missing so many classes but he needed to focus on the long run, not the short run.

"Why would you miss the exams?" James asked. "You look bad but you've looked worse. Er, no offense."

Remus looked down at his body, debating with himself. Part of him didn't want to, didn't want them to know how disgusting he could be. But he also wanted them to know how bad he was right now. "Okay, don't unravel your tapestries too much. Please. And don't make any noise, Pomfrey will hear." He pushed back his blanket and all three gaped at his shortened leg.

"Merlin's beard," Peter squeaked.

"What happened?" James whispered.

"You—what—this—your—your leg," Sirius spluttered, standing up to have a better look at the bandages. "Merlin, Remus!"

Remus twitched the blanket back over. "Yes. It's missing for now. It's growing back."

"Your leg is missing," James said, lifting his hands to his head like he was trying to comprehend it. "Your leg!"

"Yes? And? Your fingers went missing a few weeks ago."

James blinked then shoved his glasses back up "Yes, through an accident!"

Remus shrugged, trying to appear calmer than he really felt. "This is through an accident as well. A slightly different one but—yes, I'm fine," he added because Sirius was asking him again. "Pomfrey's been keeping my leg numb so I don't feel it growing back."

James nodded at that. "She did the same with my hands. They were very itchy when she stopped."

Remus pushed his hands down against the bed, struggling to sit up more. Sirius darted forward and helped him. "Thank you," he said, trying not to feel pathetic or weak. "It was bad, the past…" He trailed off, squinting. "What—what day is it? What time is it?"

"Wednesday, supper," Peter informed him.

"I've been sleeping most of today. It was bad yesterday and this morning. I am starting to feel better."

"Was your leg missing yesterday?" Sirius asked, sounding rather strained.

Partially. "No." Then, because he wanted to change the subject he looked at Peter and said, "Pomfrey told me that you've been quite upset."

"I have!" he protested, as if Remus was accusing him of lying.

"She said she had to comfort you."

Peter pressed his lips thin as he realized, and Remus raised his eyebrows. "I, er, well, had to pretend, you know? That you were… that I was scared you were… well, she wouldn't let us see you—"

"We've all been worried," James cut in, not realizing what Remus had really meant.

Remus tried to suppress a smile while Peter kept giving him glares from behind Sirius. He really wanted to tease Pete a bit more, but not with the others there so he let it go. "Yes, I know. I didn't mean to worry you." He was already feeling tired again and wanted to go back to sleep. But he also wanted—needed—to see his friends.

"As if it's your fault," Sirius grumbled, settling back down very carefully.

"Well. Strictly speaking, it is." He motioned towards his body. "I did this to myself."

Sirius met his eyes. "You aren't the wolf, Remus."

Remus averted his gaze, running his finger across his blanket, his ragged nail snagging in a loose thread. They still… ugh. "I'm not in the mood to argue semantics at the moment. Tell me what's been going on, what have I missed?"

So they told him a little bit about the lessons, a lot about the social drama which he didn't particularly care about, and was in the middle of telling him about a big fight that happened between Tanaka and Torres when the door opened and Pomfrey told them their time was up. Remus tried to hide how glad he felt at those words. He loved his friends but Merlin he wanted to go back to sleep. To not have to look, act, and pretend to be a normal boy who happened to lose his leg. He wanted to stop smiling, stop nodding, stop interacting. Stop bloody reassuring them so they wouldn't worry.

It felt like every word he said was able to be said by scooping out more and more of his insides and soon there'd be nothing left.

"May I stay a little longer?" Sirius asked.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Black, but he really needs his rest," Pomfrey said as the Marauders got up. "Maybe in the morning."

Sirius shot a look over his shoulder, and it was no surprise to Remus when he was awoken in the middle of the night by his door creaking open with nobody there.

"Hullo," Remus whispered as the door shut, struggling a little to sit up. He was a little better than he was the last time, but still felt too tired to keep up a charade; hopefully Sirius wouldn't stay too long.

Sirius yanked the cloak off. "How are you doing? Here, brought you these." He handed Remus a couple of bars of chocolate before climbing into bed next to him.

"I'm okay, I had a really big supper which helped. Thank you." He opened up one of the bars and broke it in half, offering that to Sirius who, after a second, took it. "Are you here to wheedle me about my leg?"

Sirius chewed on the chocolate, not even looking at Remus. "I never expected that to happen," he finally said. "I mean, you lost a finger before. This… is different, though." His eyes darted towards the blanket, where the missing leg would be. "How did it happen?"

Remus broke off a corner of chocolate and slipped it in his mouth. He debated while the chocolate melted on his tongue and finally decided to be truthful, as difficult as it was. "I bit through my leg." Sirius let out a soft sound of surprise. "Don't tell James or Peter, please. It's… not something… it's…" He lowered his hand, tugging at the blanket without pulling it off. "It was bad. I barely remember anything since Sunday."

"Why was it so bad?" Sirius tilted his head, eyes boring into Remus. "You seemed fine on Sunday. I mean, I guess I don't really know… much about… you know, what happens during the… I don't… erm." He was floundering for words and Remus tried not to laugh. "Do you know what I am trying to say?"

"Yes, and it's okay, I don't really understand or know much either. I can only make educated guesses." He shrugged, looking down. "This was the first moon since… I found out the truth about the night I was bitten. And since Arthur." His fingers went back and forth across his left leg, thinking about everything that had happened in the past month. "It's been a while so I didn't think it'd… affect me… but I don't know what else would have done it. Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe the wolf was just mad for some other reason."

Remus jumped as Sirius grabbed his hand, sliding his fingers between his and gripping. He glanced up into Sirius's eyes. "I'm going to help you."

"Sirius—"

"No!" Sirius snapped when Remus tried to get his hand free. "I'm going to find a way to help you. We're—we're—we're trying, you know, and I won't give up. This can't happen again, I won't let it—"

"It will!" Remus got his hand free and resisted the urge to get up out of bed; he wanted to stand up and pace around, but couldn't. "I'm sorry but it is going to happen again or something like it, and you—you can't help, it's not—I'm—you—oh, bloody hell, she's coming. Back under the cloak!"

Sirius grabbed the cloak and wrapped it around himself, wedging himself into a corner just as the door opened and Pomfrey peered in, her wand lighting her face up. "Sorry," Remus whispered, trying not to sound nervous. "Bad dream."

"It sounded like you were talking to someone…"

"I was talking to myself," Remus explained. "Trying to rationalize my, er, fears. My nightmare. You know." He waved his hand a little helplessly. Her eyes narrowed a little and suddenly he was afraid she had some sort of sound-transference spell on the room. What if she knew everything the Marauders talked about?! "How did you… hear me?"

"I was making my rounds," she said, and he felt a little better. Slightly. "Go back to sleep."

"Yes, Madame Pomfrey." He snuggled back under the blanket obediently and a few minutes after the door shut, he sat back up, whispering that she was back in her office.

Sirius shed the cloak and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I swear, her hearing is better than yours," he grumbled, and Remus gave a little snort. "Anyway—"

"Anyway, you should get back to bed," Remus pointed out. "I don't want you to get caught."

Sirius tossed his hair back and smirked. "As if I'd get caught." Remus glared. "All right, fine. I'm going." He got back up, patting Remus's arm. "You get some sleep."

"Hah!" Remus covered his mouth and they both stared at the door for a moment. "You're the one that woke me up," he pointed out, very softly.

"Yes, well." Sirius ran his fingers through his hair and fiddled with the cloak. "There is something else I wanted to talk to you about."

"Right this second?"

Sirius frowned then pulled the cloak around his body so only his head was floating there. "No, it can wait. I'll see you tomorrow." He pulled the cloak up and the door opened and shut, his footsteps fading away.

X

The next few days were agony for Remus. It didn't take too long for him to get to the point where the only thing preventing him from leaving the hospital wing was his lack of a leg. He tried to think of excuses: a spell gone wrong, like with James's fingers. Pomfrey would just give him an angry look, reminding him that he needed to be careful. Remus grumbled at that, sick of being careful.

At least his friends were able to visit. The Marauders came by multiple times a day, Lily visited several times, bringing with her homework. Aegis visited a couple of times. David even showed up once to give him their Divination homework.

He spent the rest of the time working on homework, reading, trying not to scratch his leg, feeling guilty over the heart-wrenching letter his mother had sent him, and staring at the small window as it got snowier and snowier.

By the time Saturday rolled around, he was nearly healed. His shin and ankle looked weird and his foot was very misshapen, but he once again tried to convince Pomfrey to let him go since it was a Hogsmeade visit. He'd be fully dressed. Nobody would notice. Pomfrey had him stand up and walk across the room which… he sort've managed. He limped, trying to ignore the pain twisting up his right leg, and the uncomfortable agony whenever he put weight on his… 'foot'.

"Are you coming?" Peter asked when he and James burst through the door at about twenty minutes before the first carriages would leave.

"No," Remus grumbled, rubbing his thigh. "I can't walk. Pomfrey says no."

"Oh, Pomfrey can go stuff herself in a cauldron," James complained. "It isn't fair to miss another Hogsmeade trip!"

This meant he was unable to get Christmas presents for his friends, and was worried about what he'd do unless he… knitted. "I know, but there isn't much I can do." He glanced at the door and tried to sound casual as he asked, "Where's Sirius?"

"Oh, he and Cassie are going on a date," Peter explained, sitting at the edge of the bed. "So he's still preening. They're meeting and going in together."

He felt a little disappointed but put a smile on his face. "Sounds fun."

They chattered for a while and then after they left, Remus got out a quill and paper to write down ideas of what to do about presents. I could sneak in by myself, he thought, ink trailing as he began doodling instead of writing. That sounds awful though. I could try to do some mail-order things but that's usually a little more expensive. He wasn't artistic or crafty, the only sort of thing he was good at was knitting but—

You need a more masculine hobby, his father's voice whispered, and Remus shriveled up inside. He personally didn't see it as a woman's hobby however if others did, that would be another strike against him. He needed to appear as much like a regular boy as possible.

I could give sweets to Lily and Aegis, he thought, knowing he had a small pile in his desk from winning them from the others. He could probably give one of his magical fiction books to Lily. And he could knit something for Miss Fawley, she would understand. But what about the Marauders? It seemed crass to simply gift them the sweets he had won from them, and even if it was okay to do… he didn't have much. It was too small of a gift for them.

Anything he gave would be too small a gift for them. They deserved more than Remus could ever give.

Miss Fawley! he suddenly realized, and began penning a letter to her, asking her if it would be possible if she could get a few small gifts for him to give the Marauders. He told her how much money he had, what he'd like to get them if possible, and that he would pay her on Tuesday. He folded the letter up, sticking it in an envelope, and giving it to Pomfrey when she brought his lunch. She'd probably get the letter on Monday or Tuesday, so they could talk more about presents at Occlumency.

About an hour later, there was a tap at the door and Pomfrey opened it to tell him he had a visitor. Remus sat up a bit, wondering who on earth it could be. The only person he could think of was either a teacher or maybe Mary Macdonald, but he hadn't really talked to her in ages.

Then Sirius popped into view, a bag swinging from one hand and two bottles of butterbeer in his other. "Thanks, Madame Lovely," he said, ignoring the scowl she gave him before shutting the door. "Afternoon."

"Why aren't you in Hogsmeade?"

Sirius sat down, putting the bottles on the table and then opening up the bag. "Hello to you too. Here." He pulled out two containers made out of essentially thick, hardened paper; a common way to carry food around. Sure enough when he popped them open, there was fish and chips steaming hot from the Three Broomsticks. He then produced a cup of curry sauce and… "You like gravy, right? That's what you like?" He held out a cup of gravy which Remus slowly took. "That's what you like on chips?"

"Yes. But what are you doing here?"

"Having lunch. Did you already eat?"

Yes. "Not much," Remus lied since he was still a little hungry. He had gotten back to his regular weight only the night before, but was still burning through his energy like nobody's business since his foot was still healing. "Thank you. I thought you had a date with Cassie…?"

Sirius shoved himself into a sitting position next to Remus, the containers balancing precariously on his lap. "I did. It was nice. Here." He opened the bottles of butterbeer and handed one to Remus, clinking them together. "Cheers, mate."

Remus dipped a chip in gravy and ate it, still confused. "You didn't have to come back so early."

Sirius groaned and set his bottle back on the table. "Remy, stop whinging."

"I'm not—"

"You are." He ripped open a little packet of salt, dumping it over the chips, followed by some vinegar. "I'm fine. I've been to Hogsmeade plenty, and we'll have loads of visits the rest of the year. Shut up."

He did, mostly because the food was absolutely delicious. His fingers and chin were soon dripping with salty grease, and he dropped quite a bit of gravy on the blanket because he kept laughing at Sirius's jokes and stories. Shortly after all the chips were gone, Sirius knocked over the rest of his curry sauce and it splattered all over the floor. He slithered out of bed and began cleaning it up as best he could. Then he wondered about the soggy, curry-covered napkin and began lobbing it as hard as he could at the wall to see how much it would stick.

"Pomfrey is going to be furious," Remus said, staring at all the faint circles everywhere. The smell of curry was beginning to get overwhelming.

"How's your leg doing?" Sirius asked, ignoring the statement completely.

Remus rolled his eyes and shifted himself into a better sitting position. "Itchy. Very itchy. Worse than the itch powder you get. Pomfrey had to numb my leg again today only because I was trying to use my fork to scratch at it."

Sirius gave up on the napkin and left it clumped up on the ceiling. "Will you be back soon?" He began putting everything (except the curry napkin) into the bag. "It's awful in the dorms without you there."

"I might be able to come back tomorrow, depending." Sirius dumped the bag in the rubbish bin and then wiped his hands off on the blanket. "Oh, thanks. Just what I wanted, curry all over my blanket."

"S'got gravy, why not curry?" Sirius asked, giggling. "And fish grease." Remus wiped his greasy fingers off on Sirius's sleeve. "I hate you."

"Perhaps the feeling is mutual," Remus sniffled, getting a clean napkin to finish wiping his hands off. "In any case, even if I'm not better I'll be back by Monday. I refuse to miss exams."

"You're very weird, do you know that?"

"I've been told. Though Loopy seems to be the preferred word to use."

Sirius frowned, but then laughed when he saw Remus was smiling. He reached over to ruffle Remus's hair and Remus shrieked, jerking away because he didn't want greasy, curry-covered fingers in his hair. Sirius tried harder to get to his hair and Remus grabbed his wand, threatening to make Sirius's hair disappear if he laid one finger on him. The shrieking got the attention of Pomfrey, who then appeared and blew up at all the curry stains everywhere. She made several threats to Sirius's health and then kicked him out, and made Remus sit in a chair while she cleaned the walls and took his bed clothes away. She soon returned with clean ones and, as she made his bed, told him that his friends were beastly and needed to behave themselves better. Remus promised they would, and that's when the curry napkin fell on Pomfrey's head.

Remus was not allowed any more visitors for the rest of the day, and he wondered if they'd ever be allowed to visit him again.