AN: This is a DND 3.5e epic-level character with 22 levels in Wizard with access to epic-level casting.
The feats he has is Brew Potion, Craft construct, Essence Mastery, Silent Spell, Skill Focus (Knowledge(arcana)(Spellcraft), Epic level spell casting, still spell, craft magical arms and armor, craft wondrous items, empower spell, forge ring, Scribe Scroll, Spell Focus (Evocation) Craft Rod, Craft Wand.
Epic-level spell casting along with rules for epic-level characters are in the Epic Levels Handbook
Essence Mastery is from Feats book by Alderac Entertainment Group
The adventures mentioned are Savage Tide from Dragon magazine and Bastion of Broken Souls
The other feats can be found in the Players Handbook
Wizarding in Worm
Chapter 15: Fateful Duel: the Hero Killer
March 10 Braidwood, Illinois
I have been flying around on my carpet for the past 2 hours around this city. Diviner told me that some kind of cataclysmic event would happen to this place. I prepared with magic that would let me single-handedly stall a Tarrasque. The clones in Japan have stopped their fixing of everything to prepare for a fight as well. Diviner has even prepared to activate M-1 against whatever is about to happen. I told them to only activate it if and only if 4 of 7 current active Clay Clones are destroyed. Its loyalty is absolute but its zealotry for murdering in my name needs a bit more tweaking.
In any event, Mimi has progressed to the point of casting a First Circle Spell. That signifies her as a true wizard, albeit a very fresh one. I even made her a similar hat to mine, but she wanted the overall shape to be a bit floppy. She wants the pointy part of the hat to flop forward. It reminds me of one of those witch hats but I decided not to say anything. She should be well on her way to learning more spells from my vast collection. It feels good to be able to teach someone magic. Maybe I should gather more students. Ah, but then I would need to make more lesson plans.
I lay flat on my back as the carpet does another circle. I should be more focused on whatever got Diviner off his shows. Ever since we/me figured out how to get the internet and phone signal in the moon palace, there have been more lazy clones lounging around instead of unlocking the secrets of creation for me to play with. I'm exaggerating but the point is progress has slowed down but I think as soon as this "Wire" show is done, progress will resume at the correct pace. I want that damn disintegration pillar ready.
The Powerplant looks odd to me, with its two-cylinder-shaped building. What's odder is that this world's hesitance to standardize these powerplants. It could hypothetically produce both a lot of clean power and maybe make those "nukes" I've heard about. I should look up how to start up and maintain one of these for later experiments. Could come in handy one of these days. I stand up from the carpet as it did another circle of the place, stretching my body before rubbing my eyes.
The skies are clear and I am bored out of my damn mind. The time the diviner stated is 5 minutes away so I will just start using the longer-lasting buffs. I cast [Starmantle], [Invulnerability to Elements], [Bears Endurance], [Foresight], [Expeditious Retreat], [Shield of Faith], [Mirror Image], [Epic Mage Armor], and [Greater Heroism]. The arcane sigils explode into being before coiling around me. I go over in my mind what spells to use for what. If it's another parahuman pulling a Nilbog, I will just glass the whole area or use the killing wind to melt everything. If I have to fight an Endbringer, I might be in a bit of trouble, the pillars of disintegration are at least 2 months away from actual use. I know the locals are used to fighting them but they tend to die a lot when it happens.
I feel that I jinxed myself as soon as it was 11:03, there was a sudden guizer of rock from about 10 miles away. Fuck, I don't think that's a parahuman. I will the carpet to start burning air. What I see makes me wish I brought a clone over. Judging by the singular Red Eye and it being around gargantuan in height, I think it might be Behemoth. The dark grey body looks like a fusion of a Grey Render and a Cyclops. Well, I am many things, a coward is not one of them! He slowly makes his way in a singular direction. Luckily, he manifested and moved in a path that was just an open field. Unluckily, the fucker is in the direct path of a damn farm area. So now I have to actually stall or kill this thing.
The upgrades did well to this carpet, I soaked it in at least 2 different types of dragon blood and enhanced it with 3 [Wishes]. It blazes through the air at a speed that lets me not consider using a spell for flight. I get within about a mile of it when it starts to glow. Do I smell ozone-.
I'm suddenly falling. That fucker snipped me with lightning! And he vaporized my rug! I am going to peel this fucker. I cast [Overland Flight] as I right myself in the air. It stares at me; it might be confused as to why I am still alive. I don't give it a chance to try that shit again. I cast 2 [Greater Ruin]s, sections of its body turn a light gray as large pockets of ash fall off it. Okay, that works.
It doesn't work enough; it just stands on its hind legs and pulls its arm back. I start to dive but it catches me with something. I see it make a punching motion and the next thing I know 2 of my images are gone. FUCK. I'm pretty sure that's some type of force damage, otherwise [Starmantle] would have let me laugh at it. Hmmm. I cast [Teleport] to get within 100 feet of it. It looks at me as I re-manifest in front of it. As I am now in range, I should try to get some info about it. I cast [Know Opponent].
Okay, 2 strengths and 2 weaknesses. It is a Dynakinetic and it is considered a Perfect Construct. It has a Core and it's under some sort of order that prevents it from just killing everything. Okay, that's good, that's good info. Construct + Order + Core = something or someone is making these. The order preventing it from killing everything means the others probably have something similar. I should go over what the Endbringers do in every event and try to frame it as what its goal is in each event.
I'm able to dodge the second punch as I cast [Know Opponent] again. 2 Strengths and 2 weaknesses. It is also a sort of geokinetic and its regeneration is based on distance from this 'Core'. It, and by extension other Endbringers, are sourcing their power from a single power supply; it also has a limit to how much energy it can manipulate. Well, this helps a lot. All I need to do is destroy the 'Core' and I can go around killing these things. I move out of the way of another one of those punches as I reach for the inside of my bag. I pull out the (Greater Extended Metamagic Rod). I cast an {Extended}[Time Stop].
I dig through my bag and pull out a few (Scrolls of [Wall of Force]). I only have 4 so I have to burn 3 [Limited Wish] to pull this shit off. I take the full minute I got to use the walls to seal him in a vertical prism of sorts. 2 walls joined together to make up each side of the triangle and one to cover the top of it. Fuck I forgot that they last at best 2 minutes. I dig through my bag to find the [Permanency] scrolls, finding 2 out of 6 that I need. I use a [Greater Teleport] to teleport back to the storage part of the moon palace. It's a good thing I labeled everything. Time resumes as I find the tray for [Permanency]. I grab the other 4 and use my last [Greater Teleport] to get back to the same spot.
I can see it bash away at the invisible walls, with the occasional blast of fire or lightning slamming against the wall showing that it went 220 feet into the air. It looks really funny, like this one cat video that Riley showed me. The cat was rapidly pawing at a window with a bird on the other side staring at it as if it was mocking it. I shake my head. I use my last [Time Stop]. I go to each of the walls and cast [Permanency] on all of them, burning the entire duration of [Time Stop]. Why do I feel kind of warm all over?
I back up to marvel at my plan. This thing is now trapped here. Time for the second part of my plan. I pull out my phone and pose in front of it. I do one of those 'Selfies' as I give the camera the peace sign. I swipe away all of the notifications of the Endbringer alarm and a lot of people trying to find me. I do, however, post it on PHO. I have to stuff my phone in my bag since the constant pinging of people asking 'WTF' and all that is starting to hurt my ears. Its face doesn't change but I can almost feel it getting angry. I also started to feel even warmer and tired. Wait…..
I fly backward another 100 feet. This fucker was trying to cook me from the inside. I think the only reason why I am not a floating corpse is due to my belt and my overall vigor being able to handle the strain so far. He started to glow a dull green and the feeling came back. Fuck it.
I use the last charge on the Rod and cast this cool new spell I prepared. I focus on the empty space to the right of it. I cast [Sphere of Ultimate Destruction]. It manifests as a 2-foot black ball of nothingness. I move it to start to press against its arm. It tries to angle itself to not touch the ball like a cat trying to curl away from something. It hits a wall as the ball now hits its ribs. It carves a 5-foot wide groove along its stomach area, maybe going as deep as a foot with this pass. It starts to hammer away at the wall. I didn't prepare any healing spells so now I'm on another timer. I have to make this thing run away before its radiation boils me alive or starts to permanently damage this field. I only have more casting of the sphere so that's a total of about 6 minutes before I have to try something drastic.
I have to stay still and endure both the lightning bolts slamming into me doing nothing and the constant radiation that is hurting me. I blink away the blood that's coming out of my eyes as I force the sphere to start pressing against its left arm. This does catch it trapped against one of the sides of the pillar, the ball pressing against the elbow. I will the sphere to apply pressure to it. I can see it begin to sink into the arm, blood forms momentarily before the pseudo blackhole erases it as well. After about 30 seconds, the arm comes loose, falling to the ground with black blood slowly oozing from it. that's one limb down!
The sphere is then moved to the side of its ribs again, this time moving into the groove. It starts to vibrate as I think it tries to absorb or move the sphere through its power. Something is coming out of my ears now. Gods, I should figure out how to make myself immune to radiation. The pain is immense but I won't falter. The sphere punches out of the other side of his body, leaving a 5-foot horizontal hole in him. I cast a second [Sphere of Ultimate Destruction], the sphere manifesting behind it. I never actually used this kind of spell before so I'm going to have to brute force my way through this.
I take a deep breath, cough out the blood that is in my mouth, and exhale.
11:08 AM
Behemoth is more reminiscent of Swiss Cheese rather than a monster. I started to systematically punch holes into it to try and find the core and I got nothing. The last area I need is the upper chest area. I can't do anything with that since the duration of the spheres expired already. On a positive note, I think my body either gained resistance to radiation or the adrenaline has kicked in.
It starts to vibrate and begins to sink. Is…..is it retreating?
I hear a sonic boom behind me, and turning my head slightly reveals the source to be Alexandria and Eidolon. Oh good, people to tag in. Wait, this fucker is trying to escape!
I force myself to use a [Wish] to dispel the prism. Behemoth retreat becomes even faster. I fly over to the hole, Alexandria trying to get me to stop whatever I was going to do. I cast [Energy Drain] on it. The negative energy does something as a bead of light leaves it and goes to me. Huh. Well, I don't fee-
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11:09 AM
I awaken to many things. The shouting of Alexandria, the smell of burning meat, the feeling of grass on my bare skin. Okay, note to self, don't try that on one of them. If I remember right, I made spares of everything I had on me. I do a mental check and all of my permanent spells are gone. Gods damn you Behemoth! You caused me to be inconvenienced! I will see you suffer for this!
I stand up, ignoring the gibberish coming from the new capes nearby. I'm pretty sure my hat should have survived me probably exploding. Oh, Alexandria is holding it. I walk over to her and yank it out of her hand. She tries to grab me or something but I duck under it, my hat bending itself to avoid her probably dirty hands. The other capes have strange looks but I ignore them. I cast [Limited Wish] to make myself not need air and then I cast [Greater Teleport] to manifest in my room.
I find the duplicates of my gear under my bed and put them on. A quick [Limited Wish] and a regular [Wish] and now I have [Tongues] back on. I can hear the rapid footsteps of people coming to my room. Mimi and Riley slide to stop as they see me. I give them a wave. They do a tackle maneuver on me.
While I have to give them head pats and apologies for some reason, I tell Diviner to have all the clones go and grab Behemoth's arm and whatever else they can grab from the ground. A few seconds later, they grabbed the arm along with a bunch of its body that dropped as the spheres pressed against it. They even used a few spells to grab all of its blood that was all over the place.
Riley uses Ned to drag me over to a tank of orange liquid and tells me to get in. I don't protest as he opens the top of it and stuffs me inside. She said something about how she needs to make sure I don't have any more radiation in me. Apparently, I can breathe inside of it so that's nice. one of the clones [Wish] for my phone back. Huh.
The clone who holds the phone reads to me all of the messages I got. A lot of people asking me what the hell was I was thinking or if I was okay and so on. I tell it to not answer any phone calls from my contacts as I want to relax in this liquid bath thing. A lot of people started calling me. I just close my eyes.
The clone informs me that an unknown number is calling me. Oh for fucks sake. I tell it to answer it.
"Hello? Is this Magnus Mysthaven?" the voice on the other end sounded masculine and a bit of an odd inflection.
"Yes, that is me. I'm trying to relax." That gets a chuckle out of the person on the other end.
"This is President Silverhand, you can call me Johnny." I can hear him take an inhale, most likely a cigar or cigarette, and then an exhale, "I know you're probably tired as shit but I need a favor from you."
"A favor? What kind of favor?" I question. My interest has peaked and now I have nothing to do.
"I need you to give a speech about the fight. This event with Behemoth has zero casualties of both heroes and civilians. Hell, the ground was barely irradiated after Dragon tested everything." I forgot Dragon was there when I woke up.
"I don't know. I am really bad at speeches. Can't you do it?" I hear him take another drag.
"Yeah," he exhales, "But the people would really prefer if the one who did all the hard work gave a speech about it. I don't know. Make some shit up and try to sound positive." Wow. I hope this guy's equivalent to a seneschal is hilariously competent.
I sigh, "Fine. When and where do I do this shit? I want to get back to soaking in this bath." I hear his chair squeak.
"One sec," I hear a few papers move, "Uhhh….. in front of the Capital building in about an hour. I'll have V text you the details on it. Thanks, by the way. Swing by afterward so we can shoot the shit. I gotta go and find a clean pair of pants. Alt owes me 20 bucks for you agreeing to go." he hangs up on me. Well.
I open the door above me and pull myself out. It felt weird to be dry even though I was just in some kind of liquid. I cast a permanent [Interplanar Bond] on all the clones again, which burned most of the time I had before the speech. Whoever this V is gave me a wall of text about the event and where I should go and when.
As soon as I cleaned my hat, I teleported over to the front of the stage. Oh Gods. They all just stare at me.
I clear my throat.
"Hello everyone. I am Magnus Mysthaven." I give the crowd and the world my best smile.
AN: Energy Drain caused wizboy to take the total energy output of the sun for one year instantaneously. The bastions buff revived him at the same time. It caught a wee bit of the energy to the point he gets a level.
AN: Yes the president is Silverhand. I stole names from cyberpunk. I did say I am a hack. No, the world will not end up being Cyberpunk or Shadowrun. Its just a gag. Or is it?