Chapter 4: Would His Reach Mean Anything?
As the testing among the four pilots came to an end, Shinji forced himself to make his way into the locker room where he tried to comprehend what his great deception had put into play. Many changes had come about his life ever since he tried to bury his night with Misato and find a way to resume whatever predetermined life he was meant to have. Yet despite the usual line of challenges that seemed to wear away at his sanity day after day, he was forced to meet face to face with the result of what he felt should have admitted was a lie.
As he made his way to his locker, Shinji heard his new fellow pilot ask, "Man, 38%. That's not much of a number to look at isn't it?"
In a better mood, Shinji would have told Kensuke even Asuka was baffled by such a high number. Despite Kensuke's intentions to normalize his new surroundings, Shinji shook his head when he told him, "I didn't think you were actually trying to do this."
Kensuke let go of his front zipper when he realized the observation and reminded, "I don't know what gave you that idea. I've been trying to get to where you are for way too long and I finally get the chance. You got to be looking forward to that aren't you?"
Shinji could not deny that there was some comfort that he would be fighting alongside someone who was on more friendly and personal terms with him than the other pilots, but the weight of his fight against the 13th Angel became so strong of a reminder that he raced to find a counter to Kensuke's hopes. He feared the idea of immediately disappointing Kensuke as he asked, "I… I guess I didn't think you would want this. Aren't you worried about what happened to Toji?"
Kensuke went back to removing his plugsuit when he denied the concern, "It's not like there's going to be any more of those glorified virus attacks or anything. I know those Angels can't be stupid to try something three times."
Realizing how anxious Kensuke was to finally having a chance at living out his aspirations made Shinji shake his head when he told him, "You really shouldn't be here. This isn't what you think it's like."
Despite the growing desperation in Shinji's voice, he attempted to assure him when he pointed out, "I know you've seen some serious stuff out there Shinji, but it really sounds like you need me here."
Shinji shook his head again when he tried to emphasize the warning he had for Kensuke's aspirations when he asked, "What do you think you can do here that nobody else has?"
He realized how weak his warning was when he heard Kensuke brush off the doubts and told him, "The same stuff you pulled off."
Realizing that he was not going to accomplish anything in giving Kensuke an endless string of warnings for what would happen if he continued to fight, he resigned himself to the fact he could not do anything when he asked, "I'm not helping am I?'
Rather than boast about what he achieved, Kensuke placed a hand on Shinji's shoulder when he assured, "I get it, you're scared. This is not about the Angels though."
Shinji looked up to Kensuke when he heard the reminder and asked, "What the Hell did you come here for then?"
Kensuke went back to removing his plugsuit when he answered, "Not to point a finger, but hearing about Rei is a big part of it."
The reason confused Shinji at first when he thought about the situation, "You mean… Oh yeah... That."
Kensuke confirmed Shinji's reminder when he added, "Yeah, if the big guy here can keep a skeleton like that secret, he's got to be paying off some big bucks."
Being forced to remember the rumor he helped begin made Shinji feel his mind rush as though there was something he missed from the brief moment of relief he had after discussing the supposed scenario. Deciding there was little he could do but play along with Kensuke's suspicion, he pointed out, "But I thought you said the Penal Code made that sort of thing okay."
Kensuke had an immediate response when he asked, "It would be if it was consensual. You tell me Shinji, do you really think Rei is the type of person to consent to anything if she had the choice?"
Shinji felt the fear for himself be gradually replaced by confusion for his surroundings. He could not have possibly been misunderstanding Rei this whole time or allowing her to be subjected to the worst parts of NERV he could only imagine. His desperation surfaced again when he tried to justify her behavior and told Kensuke, "She's made decisions by herself before."
Kensuke had slipped his shirt on when he denied the excuse and explained, "No way was it without coercion though. There's being military disciplined and then there's taking advantage. That's what I have to find out."
Desperate to get himself out of any chance of any accusations that might have been placed upon him, Shinji tried to answer for his shortcomings when he told him, "I guess I never thought it would turn out that serious."
Kensuke thought back to the conversation that brought him and Shinji to where they were now when he admitted, "Well you don't seem to know a lot about the law. I don't blame you, I only looked up the Penal Code for totally selfish reasons. If Rei really does need help though, we need to help her."
While he felt as though he was clear of being accused of anything that would place him in trouble, Shinji realized that he ultimately traded one possible hardship to share with others for another. Given the choice that he ultimately decided that this was something he would have to live with if he was going to keep Misato from being subjected to humiliation or further scrutiny that would fall upon him.
He finally decided that he would choose to support the idea when he offered Kensuke, "I would like to help her if we could. I hope you don't give up your dream here while doing it."
Kensuke grinned when he assured, "For all I know, this is probably what gave me the kick I needed to get to the front of the line. You bet I won't."
As the two boys finished dressing and making their way to the exit, Shinji suggested, "So if you need to meet her, I think she'll be here for a while."
Kensuke accepted the offer when told Shinji, "You bet that would be a lot of help. She's not the type to get creeped out by meeting other people right?"
Shinji thought back to every instant where he was able to see Rei Ayanami in action as he tried to determine what her current behavior was ever since the day he found her and shaped her away from the stoic façade she had before. He could not say that she was the most sociable person he knew but there seemed to be little indication that she would push others away unless approached with dangerous intent. The greatest concern that made its way through Shinji's mind was the questionable foundation that Kensuke would be approaching Rei with the intention to discover a rumor that he could not help but feel certain was false.
Distressing as what the accumulation of his original rumor might have been, Kensuke's intention to become a pilot one day was bound to be accepted if there were Angels who remained to challenge humanity. Shinji could not decide if what he had done was simply speed up the process or if he was still witnessing a tragedy unfold before him. More unsettling to him was the idea that whatever would unfold was bound to weigh on his shoulders that he would be expected to accept.
This worry kept its weight on Shinji as he gave a small breath before preparing Kensuke for the first proper conversation with a fellow pilot. He assured him, "She's not really the type of person she was months ago. I'm sure she won't try to push you away."
With all the freedom he could have asked for before upon him, Kensuke wandered through the halls of NERV as he searched for Rei. He found his way into the hangar bay where he saw her in her school uniform but looking up to Unit-00 in contemplation. He could not help but find her clothing choice to be a peculiar one but always wondered what sort of decisions motivated her ever since he met her in his class.
He now had to discover the root of her behavior as he twisted his neck a little before making his way up to her. Kensuke leaned on the wall across from Rei when he introduced, "You've been here for a long time and you still find yourself in awe at these things?"
There was a pause from Rei as she processed the idea that she was in the presence of someone else with her. Kensuke wondered if she heard him before he heard her answer, "I have little else to accomplish now."
With so little to work with, Kensuke tried to carry a conversation when he told Rei, "Well I guess everything else can be pretty boring compared to this. I really wish the staff would let me bring my camcorder around down here but security protocols and all that."
Rei agreed, "It is important that we do not deviate from our intended purposes."
Kensuke shook his head when he listened to Rei's matter of fact explanation and pointed out, "Boy Shinji was right, you are a girl of few words."
The observation earned another pause from Rei before she finally told him, "I am trying to communicate of my own free will."
Kensuke found it difficult to tell if Rei was sincere in revealing more about herself or if she was truly indifferent to the idea of speaking with him. As much as he wanted the observation to be a simple choice between the two scenarios, he still had his original intention in mind and wanted to find a way to reach out to her.
He tried to approach her again when he reminded her of something he did months ago, "And here I was worried that you might have been pissed at me for my whole picture selling scheme."
Another pause came from Rei but this time earned a more hopeful reaction for Kensuke. He saw her turn around to acknowledge him with the blank expression everyone remotely familiar with her would have. She finally offered the her own comment when she recalled, "You are that boy. The one in my class."
Kensuke grinned at the promise he was given when he confirmed, "Yeah, that's me. Tweedledee to my Tweedledum Toji. I made a whole 15,000 yen selling pictures of you to this one kid. I think I can still buy them back."
Kensuke found his attempt to garner a reaction from her to not provide results when she pointed out, "I never thought this was something you desired."
Kensuke was surprised when he heard her transition away from the subject so indifferently but worried that any other reaction would have caused her to lose interest. The progress that he was making with her however continued to raise his spirits and make him think that he was making the progress he was hoping for.
He accepted the observation when he admitted, "I guess I never did get around to talking to you that much. I guess I was more interested in Asuka because well… don't know how comfy you are around that sort of thing."
Transitioning to another subject, Rei gave a sense of curiosity for Kensuke's situation when she asked, "You do not have anyone that worries about your survival?"
Kensuke shrugged when he told her, "Well, my mom's not here to complain. My dad though? I think he's going to be super proud of me pretty soon."
The detail captured Rei's attention when she asked, "Does he work for NERV?"
Kensuke found himself becoming excited at the idea of revealing more about himself when he told her, "Oh yeah, the place where my unit came from? It's from the NERV headquarters in Nevada. That's where my dad works and he helped make that thing and Unit-03 get up and run!"
Rei thought for a moment before she determined the place where Kenuske's father was stationed when she pointed out, "You refer to Branch 2. The one that has been lost."
Kensuke felt himself sink when he realized the implications of what sort of fate might have awaited his father before he confirmed, "Yeah… that's the place… Well… I always told my dad that I would make him proud! One day I'm gonna be a one-man army just like the classics! He can't be dead now, he's got to be looking forward to seeing me in action!"
Rei allowed Kensuke to hold on to the hope he had when she told him, "You are fortunate to have someone to fight for."
Kensuke sighed when he allowed himself to take his mind off the worries of where his father might have been. With some quick thinking he was able to determine that this was a perfect opportunity for him to segue into the subject that he was hoping to offer Rei to begin with. He walked up to her when he began with the suggestion, "It sure is an amazing feeling as far as I'm concerned. If I had a chance though, I really think I'd like the chance to have somebody nearby to keep me going."
"There is someone you wish to meet?"
Kensuke twitched when he had to remember how seemingly oblivious to the offer Rei could have been. Even as Shinji advocated for her being more open than she was before, she still did not seem to be able to pick up on certain social cues. He shook his head when he explained, "Well you've been here the longest so I'd like to hear from the longest and most senior."
Rei remained indifferent when she told him, "I do not have additional information that is permitted to be revealed."
Kensuke approached with another offer, "I get that. But I don't want you to be totally alone for the rest of your life do you?"
"I have kept myself away from others for a long time."
For Kensuke this felt like the perfect opportunity that he could spring on when he made the offer he was waiting for, "Well I like to think I'm a pretty decent guy if you give me a shot. It's not like you're doing anything later today are you? Maybe we can see a movie, get a bite to eat, maybe you can show me if you have some serious pipes that people have been waiting to hear."
The moment the offer was made, Kensuke could have sworn that he saw Rei raise her eyebrows a very tiny height before she asked, "Do you offer what the pilot of Unit-02 calls a date?"
The maintenance of Rei's neutral voice made Kensuke giggle when he answered, "Well uh… Put it that way you can say that it is. Unless you're seeing somebody in which case, I guess I have to wrangle somebody's arm I guess."
Rei placed her hands in front of her when she answered, "I am not predisposed. I can follow with your request."
Kensuke found himself pleased with the acceptance when he gestured his thumb to himself when he told her, "Well that's easy for me. There's this karaoke place that should be open by now if you'd like to see me belt my best Tetsuya Komuro. I bet you've got a few favorites you feel like blowing me away with and I sure would like to hear them."
"If you would provide me the address, I will meet you there."
Kensuke gestured behind him when he offered, "I'll do better than that. Follow me, I'm ready to show you the time of your life if you're looking for it."
The day was coming to a rapid end upon Japan but Kensuke and Rei had the opportunity to make their way to a karaoke bar just as he offered. While Kensuke could not say that he was surprised that Rei seemed to be completely oblivious to the notion of music, he would have thought she would have gained some sort of entertainment from it. Not only could she not name any artists or songs off the top of her head but she did not show any enthusiasm from the idea as she was brought inside.
The first date for the two left Kensuke feeling as though he was on shaky ground when he saw the results of trying to perform Gravity of Love only to see himself rewarded with a blinding 33 score. If anything he hoped that he performed so poorly that it would make Rei feel better about her own performance as he selected Minako Honda's Crazy Nights to perform. He could not tell if he was supposed to feel better about himself or feel absolute pity for her when he saw a glaring 14 on the screen.
As soon as 6 PM came around, Kensuke and Rei were forced to leave the bar due to the age restrictions. While he believed he would have been able to improve given enough tries, Kensuke was relieved when he realized he did not have to sing again. Even with the relief he still felt a cloud of disappointment when he discovered that one date fantasy of his did not turn out to be so easily obtainable despite the perfect setup.
He walked alongside Rei when he admitted, "Well that wasn't the romantic outing I was hoping for."
Rei walked alongside him when she asked, "You were hoping for romance?"
Kensuke could not tell if Rei was genuinely curious with her inquisition or if the results his earlier attempts at nonchalantly referencing expectations of being romantically reciprocated left him skeptical of how someone should respond to him. Desperate to avoid losing Rei's interest, Kensuke cleared his throat when he admitted, "Eh, you're right that's a little strong. I just expected that to be different. You know, boy meets shy girl, boy finds out girl is a really talented singer, boy helps girl become the next big idol sensation. I thought it would be something like that."
She turned to him when she looked back to the bar entrance to see others make their exit as she asked, "Is that how karaoke meetings are meant to proceed?"
With Rei's second question, Kensuke felt another helping of relief fall on his shoulders when he realized how genuine she was with not understanding how date progression was supposed to function. Such ignorance left him weary when he realized he was expected to provide some sort of knowledge about the subject. As much as he would have liked to come off as a romantic expert, he did not feel so easy about the portrayal when his knowledge only extended to the realms of romantic comedy manga or, even further in the realm of fantasy, hentai doujinshi.
Kensuke scratched the back of his head when he tried to hide his embarrassment on the subject and told her, "Yeah… At least… that's what I… read."
"I can attempt improvements in the future if necessary."
Despite still being the introvert he first came to know her as, Kensuke was still capable of telling when Rei was being honest about what she believed. Due to giving off little to no possibilities of being a deceptive character, he immediately recognized that she was expressing an intention to fulfill a mission that Kensuke might assign her. Something that he expected Gendo still attempted to impress upon her whenever he had a chance.
He shook his head when he told her, "Well I only want you to do what you want Ayanami. You could make the improvements but really only if you felt like it's something you want. Like if it really made you feel like there's something you want to aspire to."
The offer made Rei stop in place for a few seconds as she tried to recall how she felt in the moment earlier when singing only to admit, "I do not recall having such feelings."
If her score was any indication before, her brutal honesty confirmed just how indifferent she truly was to making herself sing again. It became immediate to him that if he was going to have any chance at easing any information from her, he needed to find out if there was some way to melt away the skin of the ice queen persona Asuka undoubtedly thought about calling her more than once. Despite being faced with such a need, he struggled to comprehend how he might have been able to achieve such a feat that others might have only joked about trying.
The challenge made Kensuke tap his head to ponder the idea when he asked himself, "Man… what's a girl like her supposed to be moved by?" He felt the answer brighten itself in front of him when he snapped himself to attention and asked her, "Hey, you ready for a bite to eat?"
"I can be."
Feeling that he was far into a foolproof plan, Kensuke grinned when he told her, "Well I've got something even better than that."
Kensuke initially wondered if he should have asked Rei if she was allergic to cats before making his way to Cat Café Monta, but his desperation to find a nuclear option to make Rei Ayanami not a weaken her defenses made him decide this was the place to do it. To his relief, she did not seem to be allergic as they made their way to their seats were greeted with the sight of felines laying about their territory. Kensuke was not immediately treated to the sight of Rei opening herself to her new surroundings, but a third guest proved to begin that work.
A Russian Blue cat made its way to the foot of her table before looking up at her. The inability to read the faces of cats was a hinderance for all humans and Rei proved to not be the exception to the rule as she looked down in curiosity. The two looked at one another with Rei demonstrating a minimal amount of emotion when she allowed herself to give a breath of fascination from the sight of the third guest making itself known.
As though it eventually lost interest in her lack of reaction, the cat turned away and stepped towards Kensuke's table while Rei asked, "That one is… curious?"
With that observation, Kensuke realized he had Rei exactly where he wanted her to begin. He gestured to the cat starring at his feet when he offered, "Maybe it's interested in you. You think that's the case?"
Rei looked down when she told him, "I am unfamiliar with the behavior of cats."
Kensuke pointed a finger when he demonstrated, "It's really easy. Just poke out a finger for it to look for and let it come to you. Then when you get a chance, start rubbing behind the ears."
Following Kensuke's instruction, Rei extended her right index finger out as she knelt down on the ground between their individual tables and lifted it in the air for the cat to look for. The cat turned its attention back to Rei before seeing the extended finger and made a few steps towards it. It then rubbed its nose against the fingertip before pulling back and sliding against it again to allow it to pass its cheek.
The café owner made his way to the tables as he placed the plates of ramen on both tables when he told Kensuke, "Well done. Feline charms are quite difficult to resist aren't they?"
Kensuke smiled when he watched Rei scratching behind the ears of the cat when he agreed, "No way can a girl resist cats."
The owner acknowledged Kensuke's hopes in the moment when he told him, "I certainly wouldn't want you to be disappointed. Just remember that you don't want to lose her attention."
Kensuke nodded when he remembered what made him bring Rei to the café in the first place. He rubbed his hands together when he prepared himself and said, "Well mission is under way now."
The owner turned away when he congratulated, "I do hope to see the best for both of you."
As the owner left the two to their observation of the cat, Kensuke knelt to the floor next to Rei while she scratched the top of the cat's head and asked, "This sure is a real experience isn't it Ayanami?"
Rei kept her attention on the cat while she admitted, "It is different from what I have done in the city before."
While she continued to focus on the cat, Kensuke realized that he had the perfect opportunity to spring the small interrogation that he was hoping to begin with her. He leaned against the chair he was sitting in when he asked, "I'm guessing the commander never took you out for anything like this before?"
"Commander Ikari never offered the opportunity."
"I bet. He probably wanted to keep you somewhere for himself."
"The commander has never had such intentions."
Kensuke could not tell if he should have been disappointed to hear Re's answer but mentally punched himself when he realized what sort of implications he was wishing on Rei. He cleared his throat as he tried to confirm what Rei's experiences with Gendo were when he asked, "Really? He never took you to a room with just the two of you in it and… well… asked you to do stuff for him?"
The cat lay on its back as it reached its paws out to Rei's finger while she remained observant of the curious animal. As she continued to watch it, she answered Kensuke's question with the same brutal honesty she provided before, "He has never requested such a confidential meeting. I am only a pilot with little clearance."
The lack of a clear lead made Kensuke sigh when it seemed there was nothing for him to take hold of. Maybe Shinji's rumor about her and the commander having an affair was nothing more than that, just a rumor. Even if he was being deceived, he could not think of any way that would allow him to come up with a way that could make her reveal what she might have been hiding.
Even when he thought about the disappointment, he had a hard time finding himself mad. He was able to fulfill his hopes of becoming an Eva pilot and he was already on good terms with one of them. The sight of Rei entertaining a cat was not a sight that he was disappointed to see either as she allowed the feline to rub its head against her knees.
He kept his hopes of maintaining a friendly connection when he offered, "So I know I'm the new guy and everything, but I would like you to know that I'm willing to hear anything that makes you feel bad."
While Rei did not offer him the attention he was hoping for, Kensuke remained hopeful when he heard her thank in response, "That is kind of you Kensuke."
Kensuke sat himself in his chair when he prepared to enjoy his noodles when he told her, "Eh… What can I say? The Commander is a totally weird case. Doesn't take a detective to immediately tell that him and Shinji are basically the total opposite of each other."
"It has given way to some complications, but Shinji seems to have moved past his difficulties."
"Yeah, I heard. This whole thing must have been a lot for him to take in considering what kind of guy he is. Amazing the Commander still lets him have as many chances as he did."
"He has clearly seen the use for him and knows it has not been exhausted."
"You think he's that smart huh?"
"His recent evaluation of the staff has proven his ability to evaluate performance."
"Well what's the most recent case you can think of?"
"A month ago, the special inspector was removed from duty. The commander believed it was time he was removed."
What he believed was only going to be the start of a casual conversation on a date that had suddenly become real turned out to be a lead that captured Kensuke's attention. While he was only a little familiar with the staff of NERV, he believed he should have been able to know who everyone was if he was only given rank to go off of. The mention of such a person being removed made him curious who Rei would have been referring to.
Kensuke looked down to Rei when he told her, "Special inspector… Not sure I know who that is."
Rei answered his inquiry by revealing, "You called him Ryoji Kaji."
The naming of the person caused Kensuke to make a hard swallow even with his noodles unchewed. He cleared his throat before he asked, "Ah man. The guy who just died? That's pretty bad timing for him. I don't think I heard about the being fired part though, you catch what it was for?"
Rei looked up as she recalled the observation she made before answering, "They decided for his… moonlighting."
"Decided…" The choice of words caught Kensuke's attention when he thought about how Rei described the observation. He could not tell if it was deliberate or if it was a different choice of words than he would have expected, but they became enough that it made him want to discover what she might have been hiding. "You mean like it was something they had to bring up before and he wouldn't stop?"
Rei confirmed the observation when she told him, "From what I understand, to decide why he had to leave. That he was more of a hinderance than assistance."
"A hinderance huh? A job like that, he would have to really be screwing something up to make him lose his job."
"I am unaware of his performance."
When he was presented with another such blunt observation, Kensuke realized that pressing any further would make him sound as though he was attempting to reach into territory he could not explore with Rei. He tried to free himself of the suspicion he might have been building with her when he apologized, "Um… Sorry to turn this thing into a whole gossip session, but that was just pretty weird stuff to find out is all."
"If you are interested in further details, there should be official reports regarding his release."
"I believe you. And well… For all I know, I probably have a decent idea where I can get that info a bit faster."
A/N: Yeah, this one was pretty Kensuke and Rei focused. Can't say I had this planned, but the main characters will receive the focus back in the spotlight soon enough. I ended up making this one as long as it was because I do intend to make Kensuke's involvement critical, and I thought it couldn't be done by just passively mentioning details and asking readers to go along with it. I hope the imagery and scenes were worth the setting up.
I also want to let everybody know that the next chapter will open with Kensuke looking for the info that he was looking to get in the next chapter. I hope you're all looking forward to seeing him continue his part of the story. If it's anything to build anticipation, I'll try to get the next chapter done in the next two weeks as a way to make up for the lack of the main characters in this one.
Well, that will do it for me for right now, I hope you're all anticipating the next chapter to get underway again, and I hope to see you then.