Chapter 6: Were We Meant to Know?

Shinji's travel to school was more awkward for him than usual when he kept his hand on the small capsule in his pocket. For being such a small object, he could not help but feel as though he was carrying a brick given what might have been inside it. The fact that he had invaded Misato's room and taken something that might have been important to her did not help.

This sort of reminder he was forced to carry with him was what made him make his way to the front doors of the school and look around for Kensuke. Thankful to see him waiting, Shinji made his way up to him when he greeted, "I don't know if it's the sort of thing you've been looking for, but this is all I could find."

Kensuke watched Shinji pull out the capsule when he greeted, "Good morning to you to." Looking at the small object in Shinji's hand, Kensuke picked it up and squinted to find out what he was before he pinched both sides and twisted them. He kept one of his hands open as he watched a small computer chip fall into his hand and looked at it with widened eyes.

Shinji was desperate to find out what was worth so much trouble when he asked, "What is it?"

Kensuke shook his head when he told Shinji, "No idea. This thing was really worth killing over huh?"

"I guess but what's even on it?"

"I can't tell, I need to find a way to get it on a computer."

Shinji allowed desperation to continue holding him when he pointed out, "We have our laptops right? You think it will work on one of those?"

Kensuke thought for a few seconds as he tried to read the model number before answering, "Maybe it could. Maybe it'll need something more powerful. It's gonna take a bit of work to find out what's on it though."

Shinji was not so enthusiastic about the potential discovery when he warned, "I have to get this back before Misato finds out it's missing, can't you do it today?"

Kensuke balanced the chip on the tip of his right index finger when he told Shinji, "We're really pushing it now. Tell you what, you get me into one of the computer rooms and cover for me for the rest of the day, I can probably get it done before lunch."

Shinji let out a small groan when he realized he had to make up for another trouble that would challenge him before accepting, "Okay. Just make sure you pull it off."

Kensuke followed behind Shinji when he offered, "Hey, be glad I'm not asking you to do my homework for all of this."

The weight of the situation made Shinji struggle to contain his desperation when he countered, "I should be the one asking you."

Hoping to avoid a further argument, Kensuke gestured Shinji to take the lead when he told him, "I get it, let's just get a move on."

While Shinji and Kensuke were desperate to discover what answers they were about to uncover, the man who allowed the information to be compiled in the first place was brought to the few people he considered to be his superiors. He was offered the chance to prepare NERV for another Angel attack only to have his recent discovery in Jordan command their attention so much that it demanded him to meet them a day ahead of schedule. Gendo Ikari sat in the middle of a dark room where he was surrounded by black monoliths that only made their existence known by blood red lights that spelt out "SEELE," a pair of numbers, and the words "SOUND ONLY" offering Gendo minimal illumination.

Having attended prior meetings such as this one before, the only observation Gendo made as he sat down was the fact that all 15 of the monoliths were activated for this meeting. He crossed his fingers underneath his nose when he greeted, "I see that you are all anxious to confirm the validity of our recent discovery."

The 01 Monolith confirmed, "The carbon dating results have shown that your discovery matches the time of the writing of the Dead Sea Scrolls."

Gendo confirmed the discovery when he elaborated, "It has been identified as the Book of Shemaiah. In any other time, a valuable artifact to be shared with humanity. In a time as crucial as this one, a key to preparing for the future conflict that is to come. And with a far less clear path for us to operate with."

The 08 Monolith pointed out, "This cannot be part of the plan. We were told there were to be 17 Angels to deal with."

The 11 Monolith countered, "We were fortunate that this discovery was possible. We may not even have the ability to defend ourselves otherwise."

The 14 Monolith reminded, "We established ourselves knowing that we must be prepared for any discovery."

The 01 Monolith reminded everyone listening, "All this does is set our plans back. We have waited for thousands of years for the Angels to arrive, what more is this extension? An extension you would best estimate now Commander Ikari."

Gendo remained unmoved by the few threats he heard before answering, "Not all of the contents have been properly deciphered. What little we have are mostly vague descriptions of what we may face. We cannot even say with absolute certainty that they will even arrive."

The 12 Monolith announced, "There remain two Angels in the Dead Sea Scrolls that will arrive. Regrettably their destruction may only precede further challenges that will continue to challenge NERV. Which brings us to the question of your place in our plan Commander."

Gendo reminded, "It is because of me so far that the Angels have been unable to breach us. Do you believe a replacement is necessary when we have come so close?"

The 06 Monolith countered, "It is because we have come so close that we must consider better options. One who is dedicated to the eradication of sin in the most efficient way. Because of you, one of our most sure keys to that path has been lost."

The 13 Monolith agreed, "Without the Lance of Longinus, we have lost a vital component to our ends. Even your finest minds could not hope to replicate this weapon."

Gendo denied the loss when he reminded, "Our recent pilot shows great potential. He is one of the few who demonstrates a sincere desire to work with us and is bound to handle what devastation may come."

A brief pause came before the 02 Monolith offered, "The recovery of Unit-04 does bear potential but not what the lance offered."

The 10 Monolith dismissed what little praise there was for Gendo when it reminded, "Few times does one recovery make up for a loss. But we must also be certain that you do not have your own motives behind all of the time you have bought yourself. Every delay you manage for yourself only provides us with the time we require to fully utilize our countermeasures."

The 09 Monolith "If there is one thing that can come of this development, it is that we have been offered a window to reconsider our options and utilize them to their fullest potential."

While Gendo did not allow himself to be fearful of what the SEELE gathering would conclude, he could not help but wonder to himself how much appeasement he would have to make before he was completely relieved of explaining himself. The mysterious members of the organization only seldomly expressed approval and they were not about to begin with the mixed results he had for the moment. Having come to expect this sort of contempt for him after so long left him with a sense of irritation he felt the need to withhold rather than the desperation he would have felt a long time ago.

In hopes of understanding his current assessment of the situation, Gendo attempted to move the conversation forward when he asked, "I trust then that we have little to adjust?"

The 15 Monolith answered the curiosity when it warned, "Never allow yourself to become complacent. If you seek to continue being an asset to us, you will not allow further failures that will demand another meeting."

The 10 Monolith added to the warning, "We have prepared ourselves for this scenario and the current place in our plan demands that we offer you a warning."

The 01 Monolith confirmed the will of the gathering when it announced, "The first pilot you lose in battle to one of the Angels will require us to take action and find a commander who is more capable of managing your position. And we will permit no deviation once you are cast aside."

Even with the warning placed squarely on his shoulders, Gendo remained unmoved as he had been through the whole meeting. He reiterated his commitment when he told the gathering, "I do not intend to fail when we have come so close. The Angels will not be victorious."

The 01 Monolith "In order to do so, you will decipher the book with the utmost priority. Do not withhold anything from us or act without our clearance again. Because we will be aware of whatever misstep you make next."

As soon as Gendo left the dark room and allowed his eyes to adjust to the light, he stood in reflection before he belatedly answered the claim of surveillance upon him, "As you always have warned."

There were very few instances that day that Shinji was able to say he was having an easy day. The first came from being able to find the odd capsule that Kensuke needed him to find while the other being that he was able to copy the data he had recently acquired. Hearing that he was successful in acquiring the data motivated Shinji to take hold of the capsule as soon as Kensuke held it out to him when he found him at the lunch period.

Having taken back the small capsule, Kensuke was denied the chance to interrogate him of the questions that he had as he saw him make a dash for the front doors of the school and was left to deduce that Shinji was headed straight to Misato's apartment. Even as he could determine his destination, he would have little to any idea of what sort of situation Shinji was brining himself into when he returned home. He made his way up the flight of stairs to the floor of the apartment complexes before running towards it with his hand stretched out to reach for the handle. What he encountered next stopped him in his tracks.

The door to the apartment opened from the inside as a pair of trash bags found their way to the ground to reveal their carrier behind them. Realizing there was nowhere for him to hide, Shinji swallowed when he greeted, "Um… Hi Miss Misato…"

Misato blinked before looking down in confusion when her eyes widened in surprise before asking, "Shinji? What are you doing here?"

Shinji grasped the first excuse he could think of when he answered, "I uh… forgot one of my textbooks in my bedroom…"

Misato sighed when she rubbed her forehead and told him, "Wow really? Well at least you know where it is."

While it was Misato's turn for trash duty, Shinji could not recall many instances where she would carry more than one trash bag after being reminded when it was her turn. Shinji bit his lip when he hoped the cockroach story he gave from that morning was not so serious that it made her paranoid for what she had to deal with. In hopes of not igniting a spark of rage, Shinji asked, "Um… did something happen?"

Misato picked up on of the bags as she moved out of Shinji's entry to through the door when she exhausted another breath and asked, "Did you see a small little… bead anywhere?"

The reason became even worse than Shinji initially hoped. He did not wonder at first what sort of reaction Misato would have as soon as she found out the mysterious capsule was missing from her desk but he was witnessed its effects in real time. Whatever Kensuke requested to find for him turned out to be so serious that it was enough to make Misato clear her apartment more than she usually had the motivation to do so. The reminder of what he had done was only further salt in the wound when he remembered what he was going to have to attempt now that he was here.

Shinji ran through his mind for a way to avoid outright telling a lie when he asked, "Uh… like something Asuka would wear?"

Misato sighed as she shook her head when she explained, "Different. It shouldn't be so hard to find but I can't find it anywhere… Damn it, I'm so useless…"

Misato began to run a hand over her face that made Shinji fear as though he was about to witness bringing her back to the depths of despair she had still been struggling to find her way out of. After what he had done however, how was he supposed to look Misato in the eye and tell her what he just did this morning? How could he simply tell her the truth when the damage he had done threatened not to collapse on her shoulders but also lash out towards him as well?

This fear of being lashed out towards made Shinji attempt to reconcile the great balancing act of what he could tell Misato when he offered, "I can look. Do you remember where it was before?"

Misato focused back on Shinji when she looked at him surprised again and reminded, "If you don't go now, you'll be late for school."

Desperation to get to the area of the apartment he needed to reach and hoping to avoid any more of Misato's grief made Shinji offer, "If it's that important I don't want you to lose it."

Misato shook her head before telling him, "Okay… until I get back and then you have to go back to school, okay?"

Shinji nodded when he felt a sense of relief when he found he was getting his way again and accepted, "Okay, I'll do my best."

As Shinji walked past her, Misato picked up the trash bags and made her way to the nearest stairway when she suggested, "Check my bedroom if you want. Don't forget your book."

Shinji nodded as he made his way into Misato's apartment to quickly fix the great error he had committed. He knew he would only have a limited window frame to work and as such needed to work fast without taking account of the area around him. The task proved difficult as he made his way through the kitchen and dining room before noticing how remarkably different the area had become compared to the usual sight.

In just a span of a few hours, Misato had become so motivated and desperate to find the capsule Shinji took that she only seemed to leave a few beer cans and various trash pieces lying around. If he could make a comparison, Misato had just turned the place form what resembled a landfill into what could pass as a slightly unkept city sidewalk. In any other situation he would have felt there would be a reason to praise Misato for her effort to clean the area, but the circumstances behind it made him fear how much of her room she probably already searched through.

With no other options left, Shinji made a rush for his room before grabbing a music sheet book he had lying around before making a dash for Misato's bedroom. He entered it to find a similar environment to what he had seen in the kitchen and dining room where there was only a few stacks of empty beer cans and scattered car magazines that stood out from several black stains on the floor. Turning to the area where he remembered finding the capsule earlier that morning, he saw that the desk had been cleared of most of its items and immediately knew that it was not an option to leave the capsule where it originally was.

In his desperate attempt to find an area, Shinji recognized a small area where a skateboard used to be but saw the bookshelf nearby. He made his way over to the area and took out the capsule before pushing it slightly into the small open area behind it. It lodged itself in while he heard Misato call, "Shinji, how's it going?"

Hoping that he managed to achieve his goal, Shinji answered, "I think I found it Miss Misato."

His call was followed by a rapid stomp of footsteps as they made their way towards his area before he hear Misato ask, "Where?! Down there?!"

Shinji backed away when he answered, "I saw something behind the shelf back here."

Misato knelt down to the area Shinji set himself before she let out a gasp and pulled the bookshelf back to allow for the capsule to fall to the ground. Holding it up in her fingers, Misato gave a laugh of relief when she discovered she had found the object of her sudden search across the apartment. Shinji in the meantime let out a breath of relief when it seemed that Misato did not have to worry herself any longer about what she had lost.

Hoping there was nothing else he needed to worry about, Shinji asked, "Is that it?"

Misato sobered before answering, "Yeah… this is it… Oh God damn it…" Misato continued to give small laughs before placing the capsule on top of the shelf trying not to lose it again. She shook her head before she added, "I am such a wreck… I should have seen that…"

Despite avoiding being inflicted harm for his steal that morning, Shinji could not help but feel regret that he put her through such trouble in the first place. Despite all that was sensitive in that moment, Shinji commented, "I didn't know it was that important."

Misato sniffed before telling him, "Yeah, I should have told somebody about this at some point. But this thing here? That's the last thing Kaji left me. If I did lose it… God I can't stand it…"

The reveal of how significant such a discovery he made left Shinji relieved that he managed to offer Misato levity from the panic she was feeling after losing something so important to her. What little relief he felt however was lost when he remembered that he was the one who made this deception possible to begin with. Even in giving her the opportunity to accomplish a chore that she never seldom seemed interested in completing before made him realize that he had done something he doubted she would forgive him for.

Shinji tried to reconcile what tension was brewing between them when he offered, "Well it managed to turn up."

Misato confirmed the accomplishment by embracing her arms around Shinji in a tight squeeze when she told him, "I don't know how I would have pulled this off without you. You really do help out a lot you know."

What was meant to be a moment of praise became a second weight on Shinji when he not only was forced to realize how important the capsule was to Misato, but the fact that he was being praised for what he believed should have resulted in him being punished for. For the sake of maintaining Kensuke's silence, he came dangerously close to upending what good connections he had with Misato. There was no way that he could have accepted such praise for what he had done.

Shinji was able to realize that there was only one alternative however, that allowing the truth of his discovery was true and he had given Kensuke some sort of key to information he might not have been meant to learn. Not only would he be in trouble, but Kensuke's dream of becoming an Eva pilot was in jeopardy as well. The alternate outcome left Shinji fearful of what could have been a worse outcome and the hope that such a seemingly minor offense as this one would not cumulate into a disaster that none of them could imagine.

While he was not in favor of receiving the praise, Shinji accepted Misato's thanks as he told her, "You can still manage. You're not helpless."

Misato laughed when she told him, "You have no idea how wrong you are. I didn't even think about getting out of the house today other than just eating and maybe drinking a little. Just seeing that little thing not stay where I left it left me in a total panic."

With nothing other than Misato's word to go by, Shinji was left to assume that she did in fact intend not to accomplish anything productive that day. Even after embracing what she claimed was meant to take her mind off Kaji for a while, she was still feeling the grief from his loss to this day. More importantly, he stepped into an area where he believed he could traverse without consequence and in the end brought about a significant change in her life for better or for worse.

Anxious to relieve the guilt that wore him down, Shinji tried to console Misato when he told her, "I'm… sorry if you're mad."

Misato sniffed her nose again when she told him, "Hardly. At least Asuka will be amazed to see the work we put into this place when she gets back."

Shinji tried to turn the attention away from him when he pointed to Misato's comment, "That would be nice to see. I hope she's somewhere at school I haven't looked."

As soon as he made that point, Misato brought her hands to Shinji's shoulders when she told him, "God damn it, here I was caring about how you need to get to school and I ended up getting all mushy on you. You don't want to be late right?"

Shinji picked up his book when he accepted, "Yeah. I'll be able to make it."

Before Shinji parted, Misato brought her lips down to his cheek for a kiss when she thanked, "You are so important to me. I hope I see you tonight."

Shinji was stunned for a few seconds when Misato kissed him. While he could understand the gesture was meant in good nature, he could not help but see it as an attempt to rekindle what she had felt nights ago. As though she had just gone through the infliction he offered yet again and seemed to be giving signs that she wanted it to happen again.

Shinji cleared his throat as he backed away from Misato and told her, "Yeah. I'll see you later."

Turning away from her, Shinji walked out of the bedroom and down the halls that led to the front door. It was after shutting the door behind him that Shinji made a sprint out the entry and away from Misato's apartment in desperation to flee the apartment complex. Along with his intent to make his way back to school on time, Shinji simply felt the need to force himself to rid the urge to allow himself to be any closer to Misato. He did not have the opportunity to take the cold shower that temporarily helped before and the exertion of a physical rush seemed to be the only way that he would have a chance to focus his mind on something else.

As Misato watched Shinji leave her apartment, she let go of her previous worries with a heavy sigh before falling on her side. Her apartment was by no means now a perfectly clean area to live in but even recognizing what little she left over was not enough to make her want to pick herself up and continue. Her reason to do so in the first place had been fulfilled and she once again felt a sense of relief after being brought to the brink of despair.

Misato believed that she would be resigned to doing nothing for the rest of the day trying to get over the grief of Kaji's loss again only to find a seemingly out of nowhere event change her day entirely. It seemed to be far too convenient to play out the way it did, but she allowed herself to be thankful that she did not end up having a complete disaster. Much of it became possible because of the sudden appearance of Shinji and his willingness to offer his assistance in making sure that she would not be left alone.

With that thought Misato sighed when she realized she allowed herself to get carried away with her thanks. She was so desperate to find Kaji's last gift to her that she felt tempted to throw herself upon Shinji again for discovering something so special. She had such thoughts of giving herself up again even when she swore that she would not allow herself to fall into such a trap again.

Misato rubbed her eyes when she realized she was facing such a weakness again when she told herself, "And I said… I wouldn't put any moves on him… Well… still holds… I guess…"

Without any incentive to pick herself up and do anything else, Misato shut her eyes as she allowed herself to wonder about the nature of her relationship with the boy she was supposed to only protect. As much as she tried to move on from what seemed to be a few inconsistencies after the meeting, Misato could not help but feel a question form in the back of her mind. When did Shinji start to take music lessons at school?

Kensuke watched Shinji making his way back to the front doors atop the school rooftop and prepared to make his way down to reclaim the opportunity he had before. He looked at a nearby clock when he realized that the lunch period was almost over and forced him to reconsider his options on how he would discover the root of Shinji's desperation. If fortune was going to continue being on his side today, he held on to the hope that he would soon receive the cooperation he was waiting for.

He made his way down the steps as he avoided contact with several of the students before making his way to the ground level. Back in the halls, Kensuke saw only a few students making their way to classes but hid himself around a corner where he waited for the opportunity to make his way to the computer lab where he was safe. He saw Shinji making his way through the halls with his supplies on his shoulder while panting in desperation to catch his breath after rushing his way back.

Kensuke heard the school bell sound as he passed Shinji and told him, "I'll talk to you during class. You'll know when."

Shinji did not bother to ask what he meant as he saw Kensuke run past him to his area of safety for his tardiness. Much to his relief, he managed to make his way back to the classroom and sit himself behind his desk before his teacher made his way to the front of the class with the chalkboard behind him. Without a chance to eat lunch, Shinji knew he would be hungry for another few hours but accepted what few small victories he was able to claim.

The teacher began his next lecture, "It is now time that we continue where we left off. To begin with the many steps that led to the collapse of the Americas. A very complex and challenging affair that is most easily demonstrated by the history of its superpower…"

Shinji felt relief at first when it seemed like he would simply be forced to endure another dull lecture that he would only have to pay minimal attention to. The relief was brief however when he saw the bottom right hand of his laptop signal the call sign that stood out from what text he had typed. It only took a few seconds before he could determine that this was how Kensuke said he would speak to him during class.

Deciding it would be a more interesting subject than what he was listening to right now, Shinji allowed the call to reveal its text. What he read made him swallow when he read the text asking, Are we seriously not being told about this stuff?!

Shinji blinked as he tried to determine what he could say before he asked, Tell me what it is.

Shinji continued to type along with the lesson to appear as though he was taking notes before he received a response when Kensuke answered, It's no wonder Kaji got killed. This stuff in here is nuts. NERV is working for somebody else, something called SEELE. Stuff they talk about doesn't make sense to me.

Shinji typed in response, I don't know much about NERV either. I've never heard of SEELE. What's the weird find?

Almost a minute passed before Kensuke offered in response, Warnings from Kaji about this thing called "Instrumentality." Something about evolving into one thing with Evas.

The initial details made Shinji uneasy when he tried to comprehend the mention of Instrumentality along with the apparent plans that were being alluded to. As much as he wanted to have a details look into what he was getting into, the most he was able to ask at this point was, I wish I knew about this. Did Kaji really get killed for finding this out?

Kensuke responded, Unless it was an accident. I'm actually freaked out now. No idea what we got ourselves into.

Shinji wondered what Kensuke was planning to do in response to such a claim when he asked, You aren't quitting are you?

Kensuke gave his assurance, No way. But I'm not keeping this stuff secret.

Shinji bit his lower lip when he realized what sort of information he was allowing to be exchanged over the discussion when he warned, Don't release it! Everybody will find out about you if you do it!

Kensuke gave his final response that period when he answered, See me after class. I got ideas.

Shinji could not bring himself to wait for such a long time when he typed back, What kind? Shinji waited only to find there was no answer. Desperate for a response he typed another message, Hello? Realizing that he was not going to receive any further answers, Shinji frowned in disappointment that he was going to have to wait another few hours before he was able to find out what sort of discovery Kensuke had gone through so much trouble to uncover.

Without Gendo Ikari to listen to their exchanges, the 15 main council members of SEELE had an extended meeting that allowed them to have the privacy they needed to avoid being caught by less trustworthy listeners.

The 02 Monolith began by proclaiming, "The Dead Sea Scrolls were supposed to be complete. This reveal proves to be a great problem for the execution of the end scenario."

The 10 Monolith tried to make sense of the scenario when it suggested, "How can we even be certain that this document is not a forgery as part of an attempt by the commander to delay what we intend to finish?"

The 14 Monolith dismissed the scenario when it reminded, "If it was, we would have known by now. He is not willing to show it, but he could be relieved that he does not have to face the end just yet."

The 01 Monolith kept control of the conversation when it reminded, "He has committed himself to this project for many years and has not shown one instance where he was having second thoughts. He has no reason to remove himself now. Not when his true desire is well within his grasp."

The 05 Monolith agreed, "The only way that we may be able to confirm the legitimacy of the Book of Shemaiah now is if 16th Angel is indeed followed by another. Whatever timeframe we are offered by the translations, we will have to accommodate for the new scenarios."

The 03 Monolith gave its own observation of the proposed scenario when it reminded, "All these future arrivals will accomplish is delay the progression of Instrumentality. We must continue as we have before and trust that NERV will be capable of continuing its defense as it has."

Doubt remained holding of the gathering when the 08 Monolith asked, "And you believe that the commander is still capable of fulfilling that duty?"

The possible weakness was addressed when the 13 Monolith reminded, "The loss of the lance was regrettable, but he desires our end goal as much as we do. For now, the ones who may defend him must be dealt with."

The voice behind the 07 Monolith was displeased with the current situation when it pointed out, "He may have foreseen this opening we required. Our opening may not be fulfilled as we had hoped."

This warning captured the attention of the 08 Monolith when it asked, "Not unless one of the pilots has been lost. What is the most recent status of the commander's pilots?"

The 14 Monolith answered, "A team of four total. The commander has been resourceful in being able to acquire Unit-04 before the sudden loss in Nevada."

With so much at stake, the potential loss of SEELE appeared to be all but assured. The voice behind the 02 Monolith saw another angle entirely when it suggested, "If the arrivals foretold by the Book of Shemaiah offer any opportunity, it is that we will be able to thin their numbers before our final move is made."

Seeing potential behind the suggestion made the voice behind the 04 Monolith add, "If we manipulate the Marduk Institute, we may be offered the opportunity to do so from within. We must not allow Ikari to have any room to free himself."

The 01 monolith concluded the inner debate among the gathering when it proclaimed, "We have foreseen many complications in the past. At the precipice of our greatest achievement, we will not be denied now."

There were few times that Shinji felt more relieved to finally be seeing the end of the school day than the one that he was seeing right now. With so many new discoveries and terms being forced upon him to accept, he became anxious to know what sort of developments Kensuke was able to discover after managing to discover the contents of the chip he had acquired. He made his way to a schoolyard where Kensuke was waiting for him before he could finally discover what occurred hits day.

Shinji followed Kensuke to a small shack containing gym equipment when he asked, "Did you get everything? Because I'm not doing that to Miss Misato again..."

Kensuke shook his head when he told him, "I didn't think Kaji would have encrypted all of that stuff behind such a specific password that nobody but him and maybe a few other people could have guessed."

"Well how did you manage to guess it?"

"I didn't. I had to find someone senior to me who had sick hacking skills to work his way around the barriers. He's not gonna be a problem though. I just have to do his homework for the next month."

Shinji looked down at the ground in shame when he realized what he allowed Kensuke to get himself into when he asked, "This is all because of me isn't it?"

Trying to keep him in higher spirits, Kensuke tried to coat the truth in a different light when he offered, "Well it basically is. But I don't think you should regret it. This is probably going to make for some major stuff. We can't let Kaji die for nothing right?"

Shinji returned his attention to Kensuke when he heard the question. He inadvertently rose his voice when he pointed out, "Kensuke if anybody finds out that you put out all that stuff, you are going to be in a lot of trouble!"

Kensuke waved his hands down when he tried to keep Shinji from shouting further when he told him, "No way am I being stupid like that. That's what secret identities are for."

Gritting his teeth at the shout he had just made, Shinji tried to keep himself from raising his voice again but still followed with his interrogation when he asked Kensuke, "What are you talking about?"

Kensuke sat on the ground and prepared his laptop when he showed Shinji the result of what he had achieved since he last contacted him during class. He showed Shinji his screen when he introduced, "I give you… ATURE. Just a few hours ago I posted this up to the internet for everybody to look at. It doesn't have any traction yet being on the dark web, but I bet it's going to get some people talking before long."

Despite his initial confusion of why Kensuke would choose the name, Shinji shook his head when he asked, "You seriously think you'll be able to get away with this?"

Kensuke closed out of the website when he explained, "If anybody is going to track me down, they're only going to find this laptop. I just have to break this one and then nobody will have any idea it was me."

The web that continued to be spun out of everything that allowed Kensuke to accomplish what he was looking for. Shaking his head in confusion at what had been achieved over the past few days left Shinji to fall to the ground and comment, "This is too much."

Kensuke made another attempt to calm Shinji's nerves when he told him, "Don't worry about it like that. I've got things under control and we're about to make Kaji's stuff save the world or whatever he planned to do with it. There's no way he didn't want people to stop whatever this Instrumentality thing was if he thought it was bad. We're doing everything we should be doing for him at this point."

Shinji looked down when he asked, "If it was, I don't get what Miss Misato could have done with this information or if she would have made a difference."

Kenuske sighed when he told him, "You got yourself into an affair and you have a giant conspiracy plot on top of it. Can't be easy to deal with I bet. And I thought being in NERV was going to be simple and to the point."

"I guess there's nothing I can do to make you think you probably shouldn't be here anymore can I?"

"I wish I could tell you it's not that bad, but I guess there's no way to make that sound convincing is there?"

Shinji forced himself up when he tried to dismiss the conversation as he turned around and told him, "If you're sick of seeing me around, I get it…"

Kensuke tried to keep him from leaving when he offered, "Come on I'm not trying to…" Despite his attempts to keep him from leaving, Shinji continued to walk away as he tried to make his way home. Seeing Shinji leave left Kensuke with a sense of regret when he realized that he managed to allow one of his friends to fall into a pit of despair that he had become more aware of by the day. Even when he did all he could to make himself seem like a helpful friend, he found himself with an empty sense of accomplishment as he saw him leave.

Despite everything that Kensuke knew about Shinji's predicament, there was one thing that he would not have the opportunity to understand. The sense of dread and regret that rang its way through Shinji had become a very familiar one to him when he considered how much Kensuke was attempting to accomplish. Not only did it make him feel as though he had committed a serious offense but made him question how Misato would have been able to respect him if she ever found out about this day. The information Kaji acquired was out in the open and waiting to be discovered while he was forced to ask how much of her trust he had betrayed after such a difficult part of her life.

Once again the pain he had taken upon himself was as strong as it had ever been when he tried to understand the meaning behind his actions. He was faced with another situation where it seemed that he would be challenged only to try and find a desperate way to free himself from facing the impalement he allowed upon himself before. Of running away from the promise pain in exchange for meeting face to face with what was making his life so difficult to live through.

A/N: I know I've basically been setting a precendent of updating this story biweekly, but I'll be falling back into the monthly pattern after this one since I have to make sure I have to make sure there's a steady drip here. Still I don't blame anybody if they lose interest in this story at this point. I went in with a primary focus in mind and ended up realizing that I needed to justify the events that were about to follow. I wanted everything to feel like there was some legitimate reason for everything happening and there were things that needed to be adjusted in order to accommodate for the future events.

As such, the accommodation for SEELE's reaction needed to be put in here somewhere so that everybody was ready for another few episodes so to speak that would be based around something similar to the franchise's setting. In the show proper, the Dead Sea Scrolls are said to be extraterrestrial in origin and that the ones held by SEELE are the important discoveries rather than the ones released to the public. This is different compared to their reveal in real life, so I figured I would do something like a document that only has a little information about it and is to this day a lost work of text in real life as well.

It's because of this that I haven't decided on a set number of new Angels from the Book of Shemaiah and how long it will be before the ending comes. I do have some scenes that I really want to see realized and I hope some of them might be worth getting to. Hope everybody who has stuck around this long is looking forward to a slightly different take on the battle against Armisael and what comes afterwards.

Pretty sure you might have picked up on it, but Unit-04 is the same unit from the Battle Orchestra video game which is also the same unit Kensuke is the pilot of. Since there's no English translation as of this writing I can find, I don't think I'll be able to implement much else from it though. Hope you're looking forward to seeing it in action and I hope to see you then.