Chapter 12: Are Secrets and Revelations Unavoidable?

Misato could not imagine how placing herself in a relationship like this one was possible after being thrust into such a tragedy. Starting with the day that Shinji freed himself from the core of Unit-01, she allowed herself to be open to a relationship with Kaji again only to find him die not long after and yet still found herself in the foundation of what seemed to be a pleasant relationship all the same. In the context of the whole thing, it seemed as though Kaji's death was a small bump compared to how her life was progressing.

She felt a lapse of guilt when she considered how she managed to move on from the death of someone she loved. After seeing so many portrayals of women who were moved to tears for days after losing the men of their lives, she could not help but wonder if she was deviating from an assigned role for the worst or for the best. She could not believe the idea that Kaji would want her for himself beyond the grave, but still found herself wondering what he would have thought if his offhand joke about Shinji sleeping with her turned out to be true.

Misato lay on her side while looking at a photo of Shinji she had taken earlier that day before letting out a sigh. She could not say that Shinji was an extraordinarily handsome young man but could not deny the potential he might have in a number of years. Even when she considered that factor, she could not help but feel guilt pile itself in her stomach again when she considered where she still was.

She let out a sigh when she cursed herself, "God help me. I'm losing my mind."

Before Misato had a chance to linger her gaze over Shinji's photo any longer, she heard a phone ring on her desk. While she was briefly thankful to keep herself from wallowing in another night of heavy contemplation about what she was doing, she felt another weight fall on her shoulders entirely when she was left wondering who would be calling her at this hour. Forcing herself up and preparing to deny someone she didn't know, Misato picked up the phone and asked, "Who's this?"

A modulated voice introduced, "Misato Katsuragi. We have been in contact before."

While the modulated voice was a sound that she could not identify, Misato could not help but wonder if she was speaking to someone she knew. "Before… Wait, are you from yesterday?"

"I apologize for the brief contact. My security was compromised."

Misato drummed her fingers on her desk when she demanded, "Well won't you tell me who the Hell you are?"

"You will know me when we meet."

"Well, when is that supposed to be?"

"Conditions are already in place. Listen to your confidant's request. Tomorrow, 8:15 p.m., find me in the shade."

The cryptic instructions left Misato to furrow her brow before she asked, "You are not making any sense; you know that right?"

She would receive one final answer as the voice told her, "I cannot reveal any more. Allow things to progress."

"What am I-" Before she could ask her question, Misato heard the phone hang up on her again. While she was given the chance to speak with the mysterious voice from yesterday again, she was no closer to being able to identify it. Most alarming of all that she had no way of telling if she was speaking to a friend or someone hoping to take advantage of her.

Struggling to determine what she was dealing with only left Misato with a sense of dread that another fate was awaiting her entirely. From the status of her relationship changing and the looming threat of future Angels about to arrive she struggled to decide what the right choice was. Who was it that she could trust? How much was the great secret between her and Shinji worth holding on to?

Questions wandered through her mind as Misato pushed herself away from the desk and threw herself onto her bed in a desperate attempt to fall asleep. She would not have an immediate realization overnight, but she knew that thinking about it tired would not provide her any favors. With a clear mind and a chance to see what Shinji's idea of a nice night out with her would be like, she accepted the mysterious voice's instruction to simply allow things to progress into the next day.

Shinji's walk to school and the first half of the day was an uneventful one. While he had a chance to make his way through the last day of this school week and pray for a calmer remainder of his life, he could not shake the reminder that anything resembling normalcy was a luxury for him. His extraordinary duty and the threat that was looming over him did not allow him to live without fearing worse circumstances.

The recent conduit for his constant state of worry came to rear its head again when Shinji made his way to the top of the school roof and saw Kensuke waiting for him. As the two ate, Kensuke asked, "So you haven't gotten to see Rei yet?"

Shinji shook his head, "It doesn't seem like she's ready to see anyone."

Kensuke lowered his tray to turn to Shinji and ask, "So, I take it you won't be searching for her any time soon?"

Shinji shook his head, "I might end up hurting her or worse."

Kensuke leaned against the railing before reminding, "You can say you're busy with your real girl around me."

"I'm…" Shinji realized what Kensuke was referring to before he could give a response. He found himself trailing when he tried to find an answer that did not make him sound indifferent to someone he should have been more intent on seeing again. He made it seem as though he was valuing Misato over Rei at this point and ultimately confirming what misdirection he had used to bring him and the others to this point.

What good was it to offer a lie about what he was actually doing right now? The few people he believed would have his best interest at hand all knew about what he inadvertently started with his guardian. He could attempt to push others away as much as he wanted but his efforts to push others away would only force him to face them again as Kensuke alone would simply bring up the subject again and again. As much as he hated the idea, he would simply have to endure whatever one of the few friends he had offer his word.

Shinji sighed after reflecting on these thoughts, "Okay, you're right."

He was thankful his honesty was rewarded with understanding as Kensuke told him, "It's nothing to be ashamed of. I'd do the same if I was in your place. Probably a lot less chicken about it though."

Being faced with this comment from his friend made Shinji ask, "Well how are you okay with keeping secrets? Isn't everybody going to find out about ATURE at some point?"

"They will, but not until we have all the answers."

"Why are you so worried about what I'm doing? Your secrets are more important than mine."

Kensuke pushed up on his glasses as he prepared to change his tone answering, "I… I really have to get this out. Shinji, I'm sorry about this."

Shinji looked over to Kensuke when he realized what he was hearing. There were few times that he heard others offer their condolences to him and he could not tell how he was supposed to react. He did not want to make his friend feel insulted but tried to imagine how he could answer and not sound as though he was ignoring the sincerity behind the apology.

Maintaining his calm to discover the intention, Shinji tugged at his collar when he asked, "You're… really sorry?"

Shinji's question made Kensuke smirk when he told him, "Nice to see you actually taking an apology for a change."

"How much of it anyway?"

"I thought you might have snapped and well… I guess I expected worse from you. You never seem to like anything good that ever happens to you."

The last comment captured Shinji's attention when he realized what he was correlating. Kensuke not only accepted what was happening to his friend, but he also demonstrated envy of it. Even the risk of placing his life in danger at many points in being a pilot and trying to be in everyday life was like a crippling nightmare for him but he was faced with someone who wanted to be where he was. A comment as offhanded as this one made Shinji struggle to imagine if Kensuke was crazy or some sort of masochist.

How could he imagine his situation as being something to strive for? Kensuke was a newly recruited pilot for NERV and he still had idealized visions of what it was like to be in Shinji's position. Recognizing the anticipation for what he could achieved himself was not what caused Shinji to feel anger boiling within him. It was that fact Kensuke was hoping to achieve everything that he wanted and he felt easy projecting such hopes on him. He was still placing; himself in the hands of NERV and offering the chance to defeat Angels but was still being treated as though he was given the opportunity of a lifetime he should not have passed up.

Shinji struggled to process what he just heard as he bit the right side of his mouth and asked, "Are… You seriously think that?"

Kensuke raised his hands when he explained, "Things have been getting really shitty lately. We just now get you out of the core and then Kaji dies, Asuka and Rei are debilitated, more Angels are on the way, I don't… actually…"

The attempt to cover his initial observation was met on deaf ears when Shinji leapt onto what he believed was the root of the comment, "I never thought about making Misato my girlfriend before. I really shouldn't be okay with this either."

Kensuke soured when he realized Shinji was insistent on tackling the subject of his hidden relationship, "If you're having those kinds of doubts, maybe you should just break up now."

Shinji shot up from the ground as he looked down to Kensuke and told him, "Will you shut up already? I've had enough of this!"

Cringing at the sight of Shinji becoming more defensive made Kensuke shake his head, "Hey it's just a warning!"

Shinji turned around as he stomped away from him, "What the Hell do you know anyway?!"

"That when two people don't like each other, sticking together doesn't help!"

The last comment made Shinji stop in his tracks when he was reminded of what he was being offered in the first place. Kensuke for all his blatantly apparent desires to become him was attempting to offer sincere advice that would help him through the hard times. How many other people could he say were hoping to make sure that he would keep himself sane in a world that was still spiraling out of out of control around him?

Even realizing the intentions behind his warning made Shinji remain in place and ask, "So that's it? You think I like this?"

Kensuke shook his head, "I don't know what you're trying to do."

That comment became enough to make Shinji walk away when he parted from Kensuke telling him, "Why don't you shut up and leave me alone?"

As Shinji made his way to the stairs that brought him to the lower levels, Kensuke shook in regret as he commented under his breath, "You always hope for that at some point…"

What remaining hopes Shinji had for a normal day were lost when he made his climb up the stairs and towards his apartment level. The longer he held on to the secret between him and Misato, the more it seemed to simply weigh on him and make his life seem like more of a struggle than it was before. The choice of being where he was now and what other outcomes he might have been forced to deal with were on his mind briefly before his conversation with Kensuke earlier that day became his next focus.

Being asked to decide if what his relationship was doing was for the better or for the worse made Shinji struggle to confirm if he was doing the right thing. Every moment he tried to rationalize what he was going through made him discover thoughts that he never considered having before. Thoughts that he could not have imagined struggling with.

He found himself becoming more selfish than he imagined he could have been when he realized he was hoping to find a way to keep Misato to himself. He felt himself challenged by Kensuke's warning about how he was placing himself in a union that would have supposedly made his life more difficult than it already was. It was a sentiment that he felt himself struggling to imagine being possible when he considered everything that had come to pass.

He had two prior sexual encounters with Misato that did more than free him from the brink of despair, it gave him a reminder of what he was never thought possible in this life. He was a hedgehog coming into contact with another one with quills fully extended and yet feeling himself coming closer into contact with a different form of pain made him not only accept it, but desire more of it as well. In his desire for freedom from insecurity, he found himself willing to accept a pain that he endured before but was now comforting in its familiarity.

Every attempt to rationalize what motivated him to this moment and how he was going to make sense of it. His attempts to rationalize it would not serve him in the present, however, when he realized he would have to dedicate himself to proving that he was not going to allow himself to hide in the safety of his own thoughts. It was as soon as he made his way through the door of Misato's apartment that he prepared to dedicate himself to proving Kensuke's fear unfounded.

He entered the apartment to greet, "Miss Misato, I'm home."

Misato looked up from her table when she saw Shinji make his way in and welcome in return, "Hello Shinji. Looks like you weren't thinking about skipping out after all."

Shinji carried his book bag to his room when he threw it inside and confirmed, "Yeah. I remember our agreement."

Misato watched him make his way to her table before she asked, "Well having three dates in a row is pretty okay for me. You're not tired of it are you?"

Shinji knew there was no way that Kensuke could have had any influence over what Misato might have thought about what they had gotten themselves into, but it was still enough for him to remember what he was being accused of earlier in the day. Everything he could take away from that conversation led him to believe that Kensuke thought Shinji was using Misato for his own purposes. His struggles were still so far from being understood and his intentions were being driven away from the core of everything he wanted to be known for.

Thoughts such as these became the basis for Shinji immediately answering Misato's question, "No way. This is too important."

The answer caused Misato to raise an eyebrow before she smiled and observed, "Well, you're being decisive. Maybe you are starting to like it."

His hopes of demonstrating his newfound sense of purpose made Shinji remember what he was putting himself in. He was determined to prove to Misato that he cared about her as more than just someone to use while being reminded of what that sort of desire would do to him. It opened the door for Misato to see him as someone that she could approach whenever she wanted to, opening himself to a whole new world of harm and uncertainty. Despite how far he had come, he was still feeling a sense of fear when he found himself looking over the edge of being prepared to make that final leap.

The reminder caused Shinji to swallow before he managed, "Well… yeah. I'm serious about this like you are."

Shinji leaned back before asking, "So you thought about where you wanted to go out tonight?"

Shinji was reminded of the condition that he needed to follow for tonight as he told her, "I want to make sure you're okay with it."

Misato leaned back in her chair when she asked, "Well that's nice and thoughtful of you. What did you have in mind?"

She was given a view of where he had in mind when he took out a map of Tokyo's streets and pointed to an area when he asked, "Can we go to Suntory Hall? There's a Brahms concert I'd like to see."

Misato raised her eyes in interest when it seemed that Shinji was offering her a chance to attend an event that would be different from the usual outing for her. An even more interesting observation was the fact that Shinji was certain that it would be an experience that both of them would enjoy. This alone was enough for her to immediately consider her approval.

Then she remembered another factor that seemed to fall into place. Last night she was told by her recent contact that the "conditions" were already in place and should be willing to listen to what he identified as her confidant. Her contact could not possibly be referring to what was between her and Shinji could he?

Everything seemed to line up too perfectly for her to imagine being possible. And if it was, it could only mean that she was being watched by someone who knew what she was putting herself in. The thought made her bite her lip as she tried to keep herself from panicking at what might have been a greater danger for both her and Shinji.

"Miss Misato?"

The rush of fear that found its way through her mind was dashed as soon as Misato was reminded who she was speaking with. "Oh, yeah sorry." Misato cleared her throat before focusing herself back to the subject and asked, "I didn't think I'd be headed somewhere so fancy. That sounds like a nice idea for a night out though. You're ready for it right?"

Shinji looked up from the map, "Yeah, I am. The concert starts at 7:30, think you can make it?"

Misato smiled when she stood up and told him, "I might be a girl Shinji, but I'm always ready for an emergency like this."

"That's good to know. I'll be out in a bit."

"You don't want to help me put my dress on Shinji?"

Being caught off guard from the question caused Shinji to blush before he asked, "Uh… Can't you… do that yourself?"

Misato laughed before she admitted her slip in her duty when she told herself, "I am not going to drop the habit aren't I?"

The dressing and walk to Suntory Hall were an uneventful as Shinji and Misato made their way to the concert venue. As the first outing for the two of them, Shinji tried to keep himself from staring at other onlookers when he felt himself become anxious of being seen in public with Misato. The first two dates he had seemed to be practice preparing him for a challenge that made him wonder if he would prefer this or facing an Angel.

He could remember Misato commenting about how the two of them looked like a mother and son pair together and hoped that was how everyone passing them by was viewing them. Every warning he was offered from Kensuke made itself apparent when he realized what sort of fears he should have been prepared for. The idea that he would come off as so fearful of being around Misato that he would eventually reveal everything that he was trying to hide before.

If either of them was going to avoid being subject to the harsh judgement of onlookers, he had to keep himself steeled for situations such as these. His hopes of no longer enduring scrutiny would soon be rewarded when he remembered where he was going to have a chance to drown his mind in more soothing thoughts. The landscape that would be offered to him by the comfort of one of his favorite composers.

Shinji and Misato sat next to one another while he gripped the arm of his seat while trying to calm himself when he realized that he was going to be sitting next to Misato for the next hour and a half. He felt himself stiffen when he felt a hand place itself on top of his. He turned around to see Misato placing his hand over his and blushed when he realized how visible the gesture between the two was.

Misato turned to him as she assured, "It's fine Shinji."

Shinji swallowed as he slowly turned to Misato, "You… think so?"

Considering everything that caused Shinji to feel tense at the idea of being in public became an easy summation for Misato at this point. She kept her hand on his as she assured, "We got this far didn't we?"

It was the last exchange of words the two had before they heard the ensemble preparing their instruments. Looking forward to the music that was about to begin, Shinji sat back as he prepared to enjoy the performance while discovering how Misato would react to such an experience. Another few minutes passed before the ensemble began to play the first few movements of the concert.

Long minutes passed while the occupants of the hall listened to the musicians play out their assigned songs and Misato sat back and enjoy the melodies that Shinji showed clear value for. As she listened to it however, she simply allowed her thoughts to wonder as she tried to keep herself from revealing her own insecurities about the date. While she was less concerned about being seen with Shinji around her, the request from the mysterious voice to meet him at such an important time made her question what sort of balancing act she would have to perform to keep herself from raising his suspicion.

It was that reminder that made her remember what caused her to look down at her wrist for an important development. There were only a few times she wore a watch before, but it seemed to be the least conspicuous way for her to be able to tell what the time was without earning suspicion from Shinji. Even with such a simple way of keeping her intention hidden, she struggled to keep herself from looking at it when she thought about how ungrateful she was for spending time with him.

As much as she tried to keep herself from appearing uninterested in the concert before her, she decided that enough time had passed for her to discover just how close to missing her appointment she might have been. A brief look at the time revealed the digits 8:13 as the signal caused her to cringe when she hoped she was not about to be late for the agreement that she made last night. She never asked how late would have been considered acceptable or if she was even in the right place and had no idea if she was going along with whatever meeting was intended.

Her concentration was peaked as she looked around to see multiple people around her offer an applause for the performance before seeing them stand up. The show of approval was brief however as several people left their seats and made their way for the halls. She knew it would be risky to attempt now but discovering what was moving her in this direction was something she wanted to have answered and alleviated as soon as possible.

Looking around, Misato let out a sigh when she said, "Thank God, an intermission."

Shinji turned around to ask, "Are you okay Miss Misato?"

Realizing she still had the attention of Shinji on her, Misato turned to him when she waved, "Uh, yeah Shinji I'm fine. Listen I really have to use the bathroom."

Shinji accepted, "Okay, can I just wait outside with you? I don't want people to look at me funny."

"It's fine Shinji, just keep my seat for me."

"But nobody can take our seats!"

Even when she was offered the opportunity, Misato left Shinji and made her way up the steps and towards the front door of the hall. She bit her lip as she tried to reconcile what she had done but kept walking ahead as she tried to avoid making herself seem desperate to leave the area. Even when she was out of the area and safe from scrutiny, she still felt a weight fall in her stomach when she processed the fact that she had just tried to find a desperate way to separate herself from Shinji without revealing what the reason was.

Misato could not help but feel regret as she went against what she believed was the foundation for reaching out to Shinji in the first place. Their relationship was supposed to be founded on trusting one another and being open to each other about how they felt. Here she was now making her way to the entrance of Suntory Hall and searching around for the for the mysterious voice that wanted to meet with her as though she was searching for the other date she promised to meet that night.

Making such a comparison made Misato remember another crucial detail that made her furrow her brow and scratch her head in desperation. She had no idea where she was supposed to be meeting this illusive second voice and only offered a hint of being found "in the shade." Looking to her left and to her right, she crossed her arms as she tried to reason with herself for putting herself at risk.

Misato had little time out reason with whether she should have allowed herself to follow along with how far she had come but had her attention captured when she noticed one deviation. She looked to her right to find one of the many Christmas decorated trees but the artificial waterfall of ARK Hills inoperable for the time of the year. Underneath them however was someone being ignored by the Japanese people only intent on celebrating the festival of the holiday. With few other choices however, it was this sight that made her hope she was coming closer to discovering what she had gotten herself into.

Walking past the tree, Misato looked into the shadows before hearing a familiar voice greet, "You made it Misato."

The familiarity caught Misato by surprise as she stepped closer and saw who she was talking to. Despite the sunglasses, she used her assumption to ask, "Kyoya?"

Another friend of Misato's, Kyoya Kenzaki, made himself known when he turned to her and saw her waiting for him to offer a response. He pocketed his before answering, "I'm sorry I had to be so secretive. But I can't risk being found."

Several dozen questions rushed through Misato's mind when she heard Kyoya's apology and by pure instinct chose, "Where the Hell were you? Did you not hear about Kaji?"

Kyoya looked down keeping his eyes concealed by his sunglasses in the darkness, "Yes. I was hoping that I could prevent it. I was not so fortunate."

While Misato could not question the intention of her friend, the fact that Kyoya did nothing to reach out to her left her conflicted on how she was supposed to appreciate what he was telling her. Intent to discover what he was planning she took a few steps towards him to ask, "And is that the only thing you've been trying to do lately?"

Kyoya raised a hand to keep Misato from stepping towards him, "I did not want to leave you alone. If I had the opportunity, I would have contacted you sooner."

Desperate to have more solidified answers from him, Misato stood in place while demanding, "If this whole thing is so important, then why don't you tell me what you wanted to see me for out here?

Kyoya placed his hand back in his pocket when he answered, "We've received the information that Kaji has discovered about SEELE's manipulation. We would act on it, but the new Angel development has forced us to reconsider."

The answer made Misato's face sour, "I get it. There's more of them coming and the Evas are still all we have to stand against them."

Kyoya confirmed, "Regrettably, that is the corner we have been forced into. Current developments are being considered to counteract what we are doing, but they are classified for now."

Despite being willing to offer a little light on what was happening in his corner of the Japanese government, Misato was disappointed to find that Kyoya was still forced to accept his terms of confidentiality. The battle against the Angels was going to progress into another year and she felt powerless in the face of such a challenge. Hoping he would immediately correct her suspicion, Misato asked, "So what am I even supposed to do?"

Kyoya raised his head to see the state of confusion Misato was fighting against within herself. While he still had little context to what her life was like right now, there was one area that he hoped would provide her with some sense of happiness or relief at least. "The support you have been offering Shinji, that is our best hope right now."

That last statement caused Misato to shoot her head up to him when she realized how much he really did know about her. Prepared to confront whatever consequences were coming, she asked, "You… you know about us?"

"I haven't reported anything, and you don't have anything to worry about it from me."

"And how long were you watching us?"

"I just found out about this at the piers. I don't know what set it in motion, but we need to fight against the Angels somehow. They have to be dealt with it before we can do anything about SEELE."

Kyoya's hopes were rewarded with a shocked expression when Misato processed what she had just discovered. She was being watched by members of the Japanese government and was fortunate to only be seen by someone she knew. Anyone else would have placed not only her but Shinji at minimum under more demanding observation. Such a reminder made her feel as though she was enduring the same sort of fears that Shinji had when he found himself in the middle of something some of his friends only imagined possible before.

Struggling to collect herself from breaking down, Misato grasped her arms as she asked, "So that's it? I'm not even looking through NERV?"

Kyoya remained distant from Misato but tried to offer some assurance, "I have other agents gathering information. If you are ever in trouble, you will be assisted."

The assurance made Misato lower her arms in defeat when she resigned herself to the assignment she was offered and told him, "I really didn't want things to be this obtuse again. I thought you of all people would be different."

The last comment was all that Kyoya could take before he felt his grief for the situation boil over. He was supposed to be a friend of Misato and here he was making her feel as though he had ultimately provided more questions for her than any assurances. The secrecy of his position and the severe nature of the mission at hand left him in a constant reminder of how dangerous the balance of fighting against the Angels and SEELE continued to be. Even with both of them knowing the stakes at hand, Kyoya could easily see the reasons Misato could not maintain the same preparation that she used to have.

He tried to assuage her fears when he reminded, "Misato, because of you it is possible we have avoided the worst-case scenario of being completely off guard. Right now, you are the one who must make sure that we do not lose our advantage. One day everyone will be grateful for your willingness to stand up to destruction and I will make sure people know that."

If there was anything Misato could say that remained the same about Kyoya it was his commitment to being the friend she needed when he seemed to place his job ahead of everything else. Having only met with her and Kaji a few times in the past few months, she already began to feel wonder if he was still the same man or if something had changed him for the worse. Out of everything she could be grateful for, it was his friendship that she felt she could continue to rely upon.

Misato looked down to her watch before she finally answered, "Alright. If you really need me that much, I trust you. Don't let me down."

Accepting that he could do nothing about her disappointment with how few answers he was able to provide, Kyoya accepted the condition laid before him, "I promise that I will do that much Misato."

He was not off the hook however when he saw Misato attempt to draw on him for support by asking, "Can you please tell me that I'll be able to call you if I ever need your help?"

Shaking his head in being resigned to disappoint her again, Kyoya answered, "I apologize, but it is not in your interest for me to be so close."

Unshaken by the letdown again, Misato turned away as she parted, "Well, I have a date I don't want to disappoint. Be seeing you."

Without any other orders for her, Kyoya accepted Misato's parting, "I'll see you around Misato…"

Watching the sight of Misato making her way back to Suntory Hall left Kyoya alone in the shade of the inactive waterfall. Alone with nothing but his thoughts, he prepared to make his way out of the complex and be ready to receive further orders from his superiors. Even with what he was able to provide to Misato, he struggled to argue that he was able to achieve anything that made the lives of anyone something to look forward to. There was much he wanted to prevent before this day, and he knew there would only be more to follow the longer the battle against the Angels would continue.

Kyoya made his way up the steps when he summarized his greatest grief under his breath, "Kaji… If only you could have… told her…"

Misato made her way into the halls and stepped down the steps when she looked around and saw many audience members making their way back to their seats. Among them however, she could not find Shinji waiting for her or even see his head among the crowd. This caused her look from her left to her right as she tried to figure our how she could have been so neglectful even when there should have been more time to keep her from being immediately separated.

"Miss Misato?"

Misato tensed at the question before she turned around and saw the one looking for her. She brought a hand to her head as she scratched behind her head while asking, "Shinji… are you okay?"

Shinji made his way down the row of seats when he told her, "I just needed to use the bathroom. You did the same right?"

Hoping that she did not have to answer for anything else, Misato made her way to her seat before sitting down and confirming, "Yeah, that's right."

"But I didn't see you outside."

Such a simple point caught Misato off guard when she realized that how difficult it was to build a story off her actual purpose. Desperate to quell any more of his inquisition, she told him, "I needed to use it a little longer, it's a special time of the month for me."

The answer did nothing to assure Shinji when he asked, "You didn't try to walk out did you?"

The more she tried to dismiss the concerns Shinji had, the closer it seemed she was to undoing everything she intended to accomplish with Shinji. She was allowing herself to lie about what caused her to leave for this moment and she was now carrying answers that he could not have begun to process. So far it was built on the suspicion that she might not have been enjoying the music that she was taken to listen to but feared what the alternative would have been.

Anxious to keep this from being discovered, Misato quickly answered, "Of course not, I swear."

Misato's desperation to answer Shinji's concerns were met with further doubts when he pointed out, "If you don't want to be here, you should say so."

With nowhere left to run, Misato found herself continuing to resort to a desperate promise when she took hold of his hand and told him, "Not even thinking of it. You've got me for however long you want." What was meant to be a sign of assurance instead earned a silence from Shinji as Misato saw his face fall before turning to face the stage beneath them. Misato kept hold of Shinji's hand as she returned her attention to the crowd making its way back to their respective seats in hopes that she would not need to separate herself from him.

Guilt continued to find a placeholder in her stomach when Misato considered everything that was occurring. Misato found herself as conflicted as ever when she realized she was trying to reach out to someone else she could trust forced her to consider finding ways to keep a greater conspiracy within NERV from becoming Shinji's greatest concern. A situation continuing along these lines sent a fear down her spine that it might come again in her desperate hope to keep the boy she cared for from being reduced to a mess.

Hoping to see his enthusiasm for the music again, Misato saw the musicians from earlier making their way onto the stage. She took hold of Shinji's hand and pointed out, "Oh, looks like it's starting again."

Shinji allowed his hand to be held when he simply accepted, "Yeah."

A/N: So this chapter was pretty long since I added a lot of what would probably be critical to progressing the plot and reconciling what developments had already been made. I felt a need to juggle some of the OOCness that I was making in earlier chapters. Fanfiction does pretty much invoke a level of OOC for established characters, but I hope I'm making that it's being pulled off in a convincing way.

I don't know if there was any indication in any interpretation of Evangelion that Shinji was a fan of Johannes Brahms specifically, I made this more in reference to Grey Wolf4 and Random 1377's Where Darkness Falls.

As you might have noticed, Kyoya Kenzaki is the same character from the Secret of Evangelion video game. If I got anything wrong in portraying him, I'm trying to use what information I can discern from him from gameplay videos. I can't find an English translation of the game so I'm not 100% sure if I'm getting him right. I hope him being in a fanfiction is enough to wave potential inconsistencies.

Definately the first of many more introductions laster on and I'll do everything I can to make sure it works for satisfying story development. I hope to see you all whenever that next update is.