One instant we're in the mystery dungeon's replica of Delcatty's hiding place, the next I'm lying beside her hospital bed. I open my eyes a crack, worried for a moment that I'll still be in the dungeon, about to face another test to try and break my resolve. But when I look, I see Delcatty, not as a spirit or a broken thing anymore, but here, really here…
Whole.
A huge smile spreads across my face, a feeble laugh escaping me. I…I can't believe it! We're…actually back, right here in the Center! "What's the matter Gwen? Delcatty got your tongue?" She says with a wink, her voice hoarse. I leap onto her, drawing her into my embrace, holding her tightly. After all of this, I just might never let go. "Gwen, hey Gwen! Ease up! Or you'll make my spirit leave again," she gasps, laughing. "No way, I'll just have to hold you tighter to keep it from escaping," I give her a squeeze before pulling back.
"Gwen…thank you, for everything. That dungeon…I don't know what it was, but…" "I think it shows someone their greatest fears, messes with their sense of reality," I blurt. She looks at me, confused. "It…it showed me a few different things. Losing everyone I care about, Elliot growing up here, anger in his heart…facing Giratina's wrath." I pause, shuddering at the memories. "I only got through because a voice urged me on…told me to remember where I was…it helped remind me what was real." She thinks for a moment. "…I think it may have been…me." She says thoughtfully.
"Huh?"
"I thought I imagined you here before…but I guess your actually were?" I nod, "After you left…I fell into a fitful sleep. I somehow remember catching glimpses of you in terror, facing the dungeon…I thought I dreamt it but…" she considers me closely, "I wanted to help you, but I couldn't do anything…so I tried reminding you to keep going…maybe it was my spirit that could see?" Maybe…the idea that she was there, guiding me the whole time…she may have been why I was there in the first place, but it sounds like she was also why I could get out again.
"Thank you, for everything," I say, a tear sliding down my cheek. "Of course…I'm just glad I could reach you," she says. I nod weakly. "That place…it's awful. For me it was just floor after floor, it went on endlessly. I was…" she closes her eyes for a moment and takes a ragged breath before continuing, "I was completely and utterly alone, from the moment I set foot inside, until I found Hoopa's bottle. My mind started playing tricks on me—or maybe it was the dungeon? Even now, I don't know. Every step I took, I felt myself slip away, deeper and deeper into the ancient stones, until when I finally reached the end I was…gone." She says, looking at me again, eyes shining.
"When I was brought back…I knew in a sense I was somehow both out of the dungeon, yet still inside. My spirit…cursed to wander its filthy halls… …it's too horrible. Thank you for setting me free." She says through flowing tears. I don't trust myself to speak without opening the floodgates, so I just nod and hold her.
We lie there on her bed, holding each other, still in disbelief. We hold each other through the gentle sunrise, the light pouring in through her window. We hold each other until nurse Polteageist comes in to check up on her.
"Oh-oh my, Gwen? Whatever are you doing here? Master Delcatty! You're awake! Oh! This is simply marvelous!" He's thrilled to bits—the rest of the morning is a flurry of activity. Dr. Drampa is in a few moments later to check Delcatty, reporting she appears to have made a miraculous recovery. Nurse Polteageist sends someone out to find Ampharos and Cradily, along with my family. When they finally make it, there's disbelief and tears all around.
Stephanie is on me in an instant, "Gwen! Are you alright? You—you're all…" "I'm fine! A little shaken up but—" "You do anything that stupid, reckless, insane again I'll-I'll..!" She interrupts me, laughing through tears while holding my face. I stop her threats with a kiss, which she returns fervently. "Gen! Gen!" Elliot runs over, wrapping his arms around my neck. I hold him tightly, my precious, special little boy…he doesn't even know I'm 'mommy,' but he cares so much.
I feel a wave of revulsion at the dungeon for trying to break my spirit with his image.
The rest of my team envelop me in a group hug a moment later. "Guys, I'm back now! It's ok! I can't breathe!" I laugh. "Consider it your punishment! You get to breathe when you've learned your lesson!" Rotom grins, holding me tighter as my fur stands on end with her static. "I've learned I've learned!" "Hmm, I'm not buying it!" Serperior says before squeezing us tighter.
Once nurse Polteageist evidently grew tired of our display, we were politely told we could go whenever we pleased, "but do take it easy! Ampharos, Cradily, you make sure Master Delcatty doesn't push herself too hard. I hope I won't be seeing her again here anytime soon," he continues before sending us on our way.
I just…I can't believe we're actually back…that Delcatty is herself again…that we're all safe.
Delcatty suggested we go back to her quarters to rest and regroup, so we're on our way now. Stephanie said she'd join us in a bit— she thought Elliot would be more 'conducive to a restful atmosphere,' at the daycare. I guess she's right, I'm still reeling a little from the harrowing experience of the ruins.
The others are making idle chatter, asking Delcatty about Hoopa, the Echoing Ruins, everything. For the first time since coming back, I start to process some of my thoughts. I notice absentmindedly that I'm lagging behind the group. Despite making it through the dungeon and having been out for hours, I still feel its presence cling to me. Surrounded by my family, the Center…I find myself looking out for anything that feels…off. Anything out of place. It feels like the next challenge could be right around the corner, just waiting for me to relax.
But…that's silly. I…am out…right? This couldn't all be another elaborate scene, could it? No…I definitely left with Delcatty. There were no more stairs, she wasn't just another test to pass. I touched her and we left and we're out and—
"Gwen? Are you ok?"
I jump as Serperior touches my shoulder. The others are quite a way ahead now—I hadn't realized I'd stopped walking entirely.
"Oh, uh…I'm fine…" I say unconvincingly, offering an awkward laugh. I look at the ground and hurry to catch up with the group, embarrassed, until he moves in front of me, blocking my path.
This must be it, the next test. Now we'll have to fight or—
Stop that. This is real. He's real. I'm not in the dungeon.
"Gwen?" He says again, bringing my attention back. I study him closely, then my surroundings. It all looks real…but then again, it did in the dungeon too.
…why is it so difficult to breathe? I thought I made it out…I thought I somehow beat it…but even though it didn't take my spirit…at least as far as I'm aware…even if I am, without a doubt, 100% out, it still feels like it took something. My peace of mind? My ability to relax? How will I ever be able to trust anything again? I laugh desperately at the absurdity of it all.
"What is it? What's happening?" I refocus my vision on Serperior, who's now nearly at my eye level, face lined with worry. I study him closely, fighting back another bout of panicked laughter. The dungeon never made my family…truly care about me. They were never worried…they just wanted to hurt me.
Could this be a new tactic?
I take a deep breath and try to convince myself—again—that this is real. "I…the Echoing Ruins, it uh…I think it messed with my sense of reality a little…but I'm ok," I say, voice wavering. His eyes go wide, "Gwen, what!? What does that…what did that place—" it's too much; before he can finish that thought, I'm breaking down, right there in the middle of the Center. The few pokemon ambling around look our way, then, seeing my tears, quickly go back to their business.
"Hey! Whatcha do to her?" Rotom says, smacking Serperior on the head. "Nothing! She's just…I…" he looks at me at a loss for words. I'm aware they're all looking at me now, but I can't seem to get my thoughts in order. Instead I opt for a winning strategy—stand there trembling, tears flowing, until Serperior picks me up and they're hurrying me to Delcatty's place.
What's happening? In recent years, I've managed to get slightly better at reigning in my runaway thoughts, slowing my breathing, and exerting some kind of control over the panic, but right now nothing is working. I'm aware my breathing is becoming more shallow, mouth more dry, headache more sharp. How can I ever know if anything is real again? What if I go on living days, weeks, thinking I'm free, just to be met with another 'test'? Just to find another set of stairs, deeper into the dungeon? When does it end? Does it end?
I may have got out…but I'm not free.
I feel Serperior's grip around me tighten as they hurry along after Delcatty. That feels real…their concern…the urgency all on my behalf…it all feels real.
I force myself to take a deep breath, then exhale, slowly. And again. And again.
I don't feel better, but right now all I can do is breathe.
I've got through the dungeon so far…if it was a trick, and I'm somehow still in there…I'll be able to get through it. And if I am out…
It won't help either way to spend the rest of my life worrying when the next threat will appear. Ruins or not, there will be threats and danger and challenges…I'll just have to take them on, one by one.
By the time I've recovered my wherewithal, I realize I'm in Delcatty's home, sitting on a bed while everyone watches. Stephanie is here. When did she arrive? I feel so embarrassed…they've worried about me enough already without this.
Delcatty approaches, settling down beside me, "I know it doesn't make it better…but I understand. Even though my spirit is back…it will take more time to truly leave that place." She holds my paw, "but you will leave. What's around us now? It's real." I nod and hold her paw, savoring the feeling of peace, however fleeting if might be.
We sit there for a while, everyone in silence. Delcatty is the first to speak again, "so…I uh…I'm sure you all…ah…" she's struggling through the words, but no one interrupts. This is something she needs to figure out how to say for herself. She clears her throat and tries again, "I'm sure you've all learned how—why—you're here, and…I wanted to apologize. I am truly sorry for everything. I…I was desperate…which is no excuse of course, but…" she pauses to swallow, Ampharos reaching for her paw. "I missed you all so much…and I so wanted to meet you and Elliot," she says, looking at Stephanie, "if I had any idea about…the consequences…I regret it immeasurably…and…I'm truly sorry." Her voice breaks on the last word.
"I…I am upset that this put us all at risk, put yourself at risk…I'm upset that it made me break my promise to Giratina." I shudder, remembering my 'encounter,' which may or may not be indicative of how the real Giratina would act, "but…I understand. And…no matter what…we'll always be a team," I pull her into a hug.
We pull apart as the others voice their sentiments. "Even though you're the Master of the Center, you're still quite young. Making mistakes is only natural. As long as you learn from them and grow…that's what matters," Dragalge says, "thank you…believe me, I've learned; no more deals with legendaries."
Pfft, you can say that again.
"Delcatty, I love you, you're a great friend, but the fact remains! This trip has cost me a perfectly good Pokédex! So you owe me, big time!" Rotom says in mock irritation. "Ah, fresh out I'm afraid! Better luck next time," She laughs in response. "What's a Pokédex?" I hear Cradily whisper to Ampharos, who just shrugs.
"I'll be honest…I never expected to be back here again, to see you again." Serperior starts, "Despite your incredibly dangerous, irresponsible, depraved—" "get to the point, you overgrown caterpie," Delcatty says, swatting him with her tail. "Where was I? Oh yes, despite your…'plan' to risk it all and bring us back here…I am glad to have been able to see you again. You've grown a lot since we left…it's amazing, really, what you've done." "Aww, thanks, that means a lot. It's amazing, really, what you've done too! I mean, gracing our prison with a visit again? I'll leave everything just how you like it for next time." She grins while his face goes pink and he swats her back.
"I think…it'll take time, for me to forgive you, if I ever can at all," Stephanie says, "what you did…it's disrupted our lives in ways I can't even fully comprehend. I know you care deeply for Gwen and the others…but it's really no excuse. You can't just force something to happen, no matter how much you want it."
Delcatty considers her words, then nods, "I-I know, I'm sorry. I should never have put you—any of you—through all this. You're right Stephanie, I do care for all of you deeply. That's why I'm going to try to help you get home, properly this time. And I hope one day, maybe back in your world…you can forgive me." The words hang there as Stephanie says nothing. "So…now that we've got rid of Hoopa…how do we get home?" Noivern chimes in.
"'Got rid' of me? Tch, that's not a kind way to refer to a friend!" A voice emanates from nowhere. Is this the next challenge from the—
NO, stop that! This is not the dungeon!
Hoopa appears through a ring a moment later, bottle in hand. Ampharos and Cradily gasp. "Why ever should you want to get rid of me? You summoned me, after all!" They grin at Delcatty, "you're looking better, by the way, congrats to you Gwen! Gotta admit, gave me quite a show!"
"Hoopa, what do you want? I fulfilled your request, you have your bottle, so we're even, it's time for you to leave," Delcatty says, waving her paw to dismiss them.
"Ah, you see that's the part that's not quite true. Yes, we," they say, waving a hand to indicate all of us, "may be even, but the Center and I? Well, we have a history that precedes you, but as Master, I suppose it's your responsibility, sooo…" they shrug and raise their eyebrows.
"…I'm not following."
"Well, maybe you can all follow this!" Hoopa grins.
Which is the last thing I see before I'm falling down a hoop. Again.