My alarm woke me up at seven in the morning, per the usual of 'Set your alarm to an early time for the day,' in the instructions. I got out of bed instantly. Ah, the fresh morning air of a new day!

"I am so pumped up!" I exclaimed, jumping a few times. "Good morning wall," I said, greeting the wall. "Good morning floor, good morning, roof! Today's gonna be a great day!" I stopped in front of a small bookshelf. I put my instructions on it. Now to find the right one...aha! Here it is!

"'Instructions on how to fit in, make everyone like you, and always be happy!'" This set is my personal favorite, as it has you greet everything. I can't imagine one day without greeting anything or anyone. Plus, people like it! I think. Sometimes, they give me weird looks but I think it's 'cause they aren't morning people.

I flipped open the instructions on the first page. "'Step one, breathe.' Easy!" I inhaled deeply. "'Start your day by saying, 'Good morning, Bricksburg!'' Oh, by far my favorite part! I walked over to the window on the balcony, opened it, stepped outside, and with a few others, shouted as loud as I could, "Good morning, Bricksburg!"

I inhaled, taking in the morning, city air. Ah, nothing better! I closed the window and walked back over to my instructions. "'Step three, exercise.' Jumping Jacks!" Always my go to exercise in the morning. "One, two...three!"

"'Shower.' And, be careful not to get any soap in your eye-" I said before I cut in with a scream. I got soap in my eye and it's the worst thing ever to happen. It took five minutes for me to recover, but I did get the soap out of my eye...I think. It still stung, so hopefully I did?

"'Shave your face,'" I read, following each step carefully. Don't want to miss anything! "'Brush your teeth, comb your hair!'" I fixed up my hair with one clean brush.

"'Don't forget to change,'" I said, reading it out loud again, walking out the door. "Whoops! Almost forgot that one!" I exclaimed, quickly turning and going back inside. I tried on different pairs of clothes, which I'm not quite sure I have some of them for, until I was satisfied with my work gear. A bright orange construction vest, with reflective stripes on them, a blue sweater, a white shirt, and...my name tag! The most important piece of my clothes!

"Next step," I said cheerfully, "'enjoy breakfast with those special people in your life!' Alrighty then!" I grabbed Planty, made us both a cup of coffee, put waffles in the toaster, waited a few seconds before it popped out, and sat on the couch with him. "What do you want to do, Planty? Watch tv? Me too!" I said, nearly in one breath.

I grabbed the remote and turned on the tv. The first channel is the news. President Business greeted the morning, just like he usually does, and introduced Taco Tuesday, which is in a week. "Good morning, Bricksburg! I'm President Business, President of the Octan corporation and the world!" He held up a drawing of earth, then tossed it behind him. "Be sure to follow the instructions exactly as they say..." his voice quieted down, but I had my volume up enough to hear, although I wish I didn't, "or you'll be put to sleep. Don't forget Taco Tuesday is next week!" he added quickly, and loudly. "That's where every rule abiding citizen gets a free taco and my love!" He shook maracas, wearing a sombrero, a few robots-wait, robots?- shaking maracas around too. A group of people came in wearing suits, and sombreros, and began playing a Spanish tune. "Have a great day, everyone!" he finished.

"You have a good day too, President Business!" I said, cheerfully. "Man, he's such a great guy! I always want-wait, did he say put to sleep?" I cried. That was weird. Really weird. Put to sleep? As in dead? That kind of put to sleep? Or was he just joking? I hope he was joking, 'cause otherwise, that'll be extremely terrifying!

"Tonight," the tv started, interrupting my thoughts, "on 'Where Are My Pants?'..." The screen cut to the two main cast, husband and wife. The guy comes up around the corner. "Honey, where are my..." he came out from the corner and spun his head around, "paaaaaants?"

I waited for more but it was too funny. I started laughing, hard enough I fell off the couch. "Ow." I laughed a little bit more, inhaled, then sat up a little. "What was I thinking earlier?" I paused, trying to remember. "I don't care." I got up off the floor, shoved breakfast in my mouth, toasted with Planty, wished him a good day, watered him, and walked out the door. "'Step eleven,'" I read from the instructions, "'greet your neighbors!'"

The best part of any day is saying hi to everyone and anyone you see. It always puts a smile on their face. "Hey, Joe!" I greet, as he walks towards me with a large pole.

"Hey," he replied, waving a hand. I ducked under his pole, and continue walking. "Hey, Surfer Dave!" I exclaimed, waving to him from across the street. He grabbed his surfboards out from the back of a truck. "Hey, brah," he said.

I smiled and continued, stopping in front of Mrs. Scratchenpost's house. "Good morning, Sherrie!" I said, smiling.

"Hey," she said. I find it odd no one has said my name yet, but that's okay. They're all in a good mood. She opened her door and stepped aside for her cats. "Hey, Jasmine!" I greet her first cat, which meowed a response. The rest did the same as I continued to greet them. "Dexter! Andy! Loki! Brad, Leroy! Fluffy, Fluffy Junior, Fluffy Senior!" I stood straighter. "Jeff," I said with a little irritation in my voice.

I like all her cats, all but Jeff. Jeff destroyed my entire apartment, multiple times, while I was cat watching them for her, and no matter how many times i cleaned, he kept doing it. I think he was doing it on purpose. When I tried to call a truce, he shook my hand, but, with his claws, making me bandage my hand for a week. And I had to replace a good majority of everything in my apartment because of him. I'm so angry with him, and he knows it. I just think he doesn't like me.

I look at my instructions again. "'Step twelve, obey the traffic laws.'" I look up from the instructions. "Okay, in my car I go!" I opened my car door, hopped inside, and started driving. I made sure to follow every sign perfectly, stop when I needed to, and watch for pedestrians. "'Step thirteen,'" I read, looking at my instructions again, which I put on the dashboard so I could see it without looking down, "'enjoy popular music.'"

I smiled, and turned the radio on. "Guess what's on top of the charts again, folks?" the man on the radio asked. "Hit the morning with Everything is Awesome!"

"Oh my gosh, i love this song!" I cheered. I danced a little in the car as the song played. "'Always use turn signal,'" I said, quoting the instructions, "'park between lines.'" I pulled the car up to the edge of the road and parked it, along with a few other people.

"'Drop off dry cleaning before noon,'" I quoted again, walking inside dry cleaning with a bunch of others. I left and continued. "'Read the headlines, don't forget to smile!'" That one's easy! I do it every day!

"'Root for the local sports team!'" As if planned, the bus for the sports team pulled up. "Go, sports team!" I cheered with them.

I walked towards the coffee shop. "'Always return a compliment.'" A man walked out the café. "You look great today!" I exclaimed, waving at him. Him, along with a few others returned the compliment. "'Drink overpriced coffee!'"

I walked inside the café, waited my turn, and ordered a coffee, with sugar. Larry handed it to me. "There you go," he said in his usual monotone voice. "That'll be thirty seven dollars." I stared at him for a moment. Thirty seven dollars? Did Larry raise his prices? I glanced at my instructions again, just to be sure it was right. 'Drink overpriced coffee.' Welp, guess I'm on the right track. "Awesome!" I cheered. I payed Larry the money and headed back out the door.

I put my hard hat on, adjusted my name badge, fix my vest, and walk inside the work zone. "Did you guys see Where Are My Pants last night?" Robert asked.

"Classic," Gary replied.

The man in charge, Marty, turned on the speakers. "Okay, guys!" he said. "Instructions are coming from central. It says anything weird can get blown up." We instantly blew up buildings. One had a flowerpot on its roof, which I'm not sure how it got up there.

People began asking for parts as we got to work on a new apartment complex. I had each of the pieces asked for and handed them to the person who wanted them. Super simple work all day, especially since were jamming out to Everything is Awesome.

"I feel so good right now!" I exclaimed, standing on a pillar being carried by a crane. "I could sing this song for hours!"

Coincidentally enough, I did, or, we did, technically. Five hours later, our shift was over and it was time for us to go home. "Who wants to head to the Sports Bar, eat chicken wings and get crazy?" Mel asked.

"Chicken wings?" I asked, peeking around a group of co-workers. "I love chicken wings!"

"Who wants croissants?" Andy asked.

"Croissants?" I asked, running around a different angle. "I love croissants!"

"I sure do love giant sausages," Gary said.

"I love giant sausages!" I exclaimed. "You know what I love to do?" I asked, running up next to them, following the lines of people out. "Share a meal with my friends. Barry, Fred, Gail? How about it?" I ran into a post and fell, dropping my instructions. "Ah, dang it!" I cried. "Hey, guys! Wait up!" They continued walking off without me. "Okay, it's cool. I'll meet you there!"

Author's Note

I want a spin-off where we find out why Emmet doesn't like Jeff or pigs. Possibly a connected story?