Author: Our story begins the way every mob movie made after The Godfather is told: a washed-up or dead mafia bigshot narrates their childhood, their crimes, and the series of misfortunate events that lead to their eventual downfall.

Jimmy: Hey! Who the hell are you callin' washed up?!

Author: What? I never said you were-

Jimmy: I might not be no Albert Einstein, but I know I ain't dead. Therefore, you must be callin' me, Jimmy Falcone-

Cookie: McDougal.

Jimmy: A washed-up has-been!

Author: No sir! That's not what I meant at all.

Gina: Hey Pops, you want me to get the buzzsaw? [*buzzing noises*]

Theresa: Ya better not get blood on my new shoes.

Cookie: Give me that! [Cookie snatches the saw from Gina's hands.]

Petey: Dad! Gina! Calm down. She's just tryin' ta tell the story.

Cheech: Hold on there kid. She might be right…What if we really is dead?!

Jimmy: Cheech, if we was dead, d'ya think we'd be talking right now?

Cheech: Oh…right.

Author: Okay, I think this is getting out of hand. Maybe we should get back to the story-

Theresa: Ugh! Is this going to be another lame story about Daddy and the stupid mob? Come on, it's been over ten years since we left the old life!

Petey: Yeah, thank God.

[Gina narrows her eyes before punching Petey in the stomach. Petey slumps over in pain.]

Gina: Sissy.

Cookies: Kids, knock it off! Go ahead honey.

Author: Um…thank you Cookie? Well to answer your earlier question Theresa, the answer is no and yes. I mean, it's not just about the mob. It's also about what happened after the series finale, specifically what happened to you and your family after Carmine Gambini escaped and you had to relocate to the Greater North-

Theresa: Boring!

Cookie: Theresa Maria Falcone! You will shut your mouth and behave!

Theresa: Don't talk to me like I'm a kid, I'm twenty-nine years old. God!

Gina: Heh, not according to your dating profile.

Theresa: Zip it!

Cookie: I don't care if you're a hundred years old! I am still your mother and you will honor me as such!

Theresa: Hmph [Theresa crosses her arms and pouts.]

Author: So as I was saying, the story will detail your lives several years-

[*loud door slams*]

[A slightly aged but still dashingly handsome Canadian mountie rides in on a horse. The horse is equally as attractive as he was in his younger years despite now being ancient in horse years.]

Strait McCool: *huff* Sorry we're late Jimmy. *huff* Horse and I were busy busting some hooligans littering.

Jimmy: Why are you panting if you're not the one runnin'?

Horse: *angry neighing noises* [Tell me about it.]

Author: Anyways! Back to the story at hand-

Cheech: Hey Jimmy! Can we go to the Waffle House for dinner?

Jimmy: Canada don't got no Waffle Houses.

Cheech: Shake Shack?

Jimmy: No.

Cookie: Cheech, you've been living in Canada for twelve years! How do you not know what restaurants Canada doesn't have?!

Cheech: Hmmm…Applebee's?

Author: YOU KNOW WHAT!

[Author grabs the saw from Cookie.]

Author: You can do this by yourselves! Good luck, idiots!

*BUZZ*

[The author collapses to the ground with a buzzsaw lodged in her head. Surrounding her body, a red pool of blood begins to form. Everyone's mouth hangs open in shock including Horse.]

Cheech: So, are we still goin' ta Applebee's?

Noticing both a lack of Fugget About It fanfic and Gina/Carmine stories, I decided to write this story. Also, Petey has a NY accent like he did in Season 1. If you want more, make sure to leave a review! Thank you :)