– So, today we have to decide everything!
– Yes, it is. So, what do you think about my last offer?
– That's fine. I think she'll really like it!
I heard something similar from the first floor when I was walking down the stairs. For the third day in a row, these three of my roommates are deciding how to spend someone's birthday. Of course, I understood who they were talking about, but right now I didn't care. No, I wasn't a stale piece of bread who didn't care about anyone, I just wasn't interested in delving into all these schemes and manipulations of situations. Yeah, it doesn't take a genius to predict that any plan of my teammates will go to waste.
– Kazuma-san, Kazuma-san, are you sure you don't want to take part in this? This is your last chance!
Aqua looked flustered when she shouted this to me from the living room. I just wanted to go quietly to the kitchen and eat in complete peace, but it seems like it's not that easy.
– Yes, I'm sure, but now leave me alone.
– HM!
She grunted as loudly as she could, then dropped behind me. This duchess continued to discuss her plan with Darkness and Megumin. Although for some reason, curses were coming from the living room for the next minute, directed at me, as if I was guilty of something. The fact that I don't want to participate in these stupid and insane schemes is just a precaution, not something indicating that I'm an asshole.
After all, not only were they going to wish our beloved thief a happy birthday, I was also going to do it, but in a more peculiar way. In order to celebrate such a special event for a person, I do not need to arrange full-scale explosions, plan long and boring events with acolytes or try to lure the birthday girl into the cult of Axis. There are easier ways to congratulate her today.
By the way, it's already her birthday today, and these three still haven't made a unanimous decision. A useless goddess, a stupid explosive loli and a pervert crusader, I could never have had a worse team, but even so we still managed to accomplish a great feat. In the end, we defeated the Demon King and trampled most of his former army. How did it happen? I still hardly believe it myself, although I was personally present at the previously mentioned events. I was the one who had to fight the main boss one-on-one. Yes, he was weakened; yes, I was buffed several times; Yes, I'm young and he's old, but that doesn't change the fact that I won.
There was nothing left of the food, just a drink of unknown origin, which I did not trust. It looked like slime or something, no, it's something worse. To be honest, it resembles that thick green juice from GTA V. Oh, that would be terrible... Anyway, I decided not to drink it.
– Hey, Kazuma, where are you going?!
Megumin immediately noticed that I went out into the hallway to put on my shoes. Is she watching me or something? Does that make her a stalker? In general, I don't care as long as this little thing doesn't encroach on my personal space.
– I'm going to the guild to eat something tasty and satisfying.
– And you dare to go somewhere without us? Stay put, we'll be there soon...
– Megumin, we need to finish our discussion!
Darkness instantly stopped the scarlet mage's rush and dragged her back into the living room. I heard screams from there like: "But Kazuma is going to the guild!" and "He's probably going to get into trouble again without us!", which was already starting to piss me off. Can't she understand that most of the troubles arise because of her? In particular, she always prevents me from flirting with girls. I would understand if Megumin and I were dating or something, but I don't even have a hint of romantic feelings for this loli, so it all seems very strange and stupid. This beast behaves like a child almost always, which is pretty unnerving.
Anyway, I left my mansion and closed the door behind me, after which I exhaled most of the remaining air in my lungs. I do not know how, but I have already managed to live with these girls for about three years, I am afraid that soon my life will be completely interrupted because of them.
I started walking towards the city, thinking about how nice it would be if I lived in a royal castle. Iris, of course, called me there more than once or twice, but it wasn't for long. Although I also managed to get to know her brother. In general, he seems to be a normal guy, but... Iris has already become my little sister, so fuck he's going to get her back!
To be honest, as the hero who defeated the Demon King, I could marry Iris now and live as a member of the royal family, but I still need time to think. I said so to the king himself eye to eye, after which he, being an adequate man, understandingly agreed with me. In fact, Iris herself was full of enthusiasm to become my lover forever, which was a bit strange. Is this something like one of the classic branches of development in visual novels? The main character and his little sister are quite distant from each other at first, but after they were able to get closer and understand what their feelings are... No, I'm not thinking about that, the main thing is completely different now. I just want to have breakfast.
While all these thoughts continued to fill my mind, not my stomach, I finally came to the guild. Anyone could get in, but get out... Well, anyone could, too. I went to the table in the far corner and quickly ordered frog legs along with a neroid. It was a standard set of adventurers, although usually they even ordered something alcoholic.
– Yo.
A thief, well-known in these places, with a memorable appearance, sat down at my table, right in front of me. However, if she had worn a mask, she would most likely have been mistaken for a guy, since she didn't have any outstanding female features, except for a slender figure.
– Yo.
I answered in the same way and gestured to the waitress who had just left my table to double the portion of what I ordered, since I had someone to talk to. Of course, Chris, sitting across from me, probably would have drunk alcohol, but I didn't care much about her tastes right now.
– I'm a little surprised that you came here alone. Are they all planning something together now?
How insightful. She literally just told me something that she couldn't just know. There was a possibility that she had managed to find out about it either through careful thieves' surveillance or through the all-seeing eye of the Goddess. Which of the two answers is correct?
– Yes. They're thinking about what kind of weird shit they should do for Christmas. I just decided not to mess with them. If they are accused of something, then I will not be involved.
Our neroid was brought quickly enough, which I was very happy about, but the frog legs were delayed, which caused longing in my stomach. I looked at Chris, who was playing with her neroid because her drink had turned into a cat. I would be sorry to drink this baby, but, thank Eris, my neroid remained in its usual form.
– Hey, Kazuma, have you forgotten anything?
– Are you saying that you like alcohol more? No, I think I remember that.
A displeased expression appeared on her face for a second, indicating a slight degree of disappointment. After that, she still continued to play with her new beer friend.
– Or maybe you wanted me to congratulate you on something?
The thief's eyes lit up as soon as I said that. She turned her full attention back to me and waited for my words to continue, but I remained silent. My silence dragged on for about half a minute, which made Chris more and more impatient.
– Well?
– Well what? You still haven't answered my question, have you?
My words made her look surprised, after which she sighed in disappointment. Her new cat-like friend pretended to hiss at me because I upset his mistress, but I didn't care. No, I didn't have to do this to my friend, but sometimes even I need to make fun of her so that she understands how much I love her. As a friend, of course.
– Well, well, don't worry, Chris-nee. After the meal, I'll congratulate you and give you your gift.
A slight smile appeared on her pretty face, after which this thief began to play with her cat again. I smiled easily, looking at her, after which my order was finally delivered. which I had to wait for so long.
Timepass by TimeSkip-chan's power
– So, Kazuma, where are we going?
I led her past the main streets. Right now, I didn't want any attention either to my own person or to Chris. She and I are from a gang of Noble Thieves, so we have to stay in the shadows. Okay, I was just a little uncomfortable right now for some reason.
– To the Wiz shop.
I was a man of few words, which clearly confused my companion, but she was in no hurry to stop me and ask more questions. If it had been one of my teammates, I wouldn't have gotten off so easily. In any case, we soon approached the establishment I mentioned and saw that a lone demon was standing on the porch with a broom.
– Oh, that's my stupid one... more precisely dear customer. And with him is a lucky girl who seems to have an important day today.
– Yes, I'm glad to see you too, Vanir.
Chris just nodded at him with a smile, after which I decided to negotiate.
– I hope you have prepared what I asked for?
– Of course, a shopkeeper like me couldn't help but do everything right. Don't worry, the hero who killed the Demon King, the gift for your favorite thief is ready and waiting for you to pick it up.
He likes to spoil people's mood. Well, after all, this demon is quite useful, so I'm not offended. And Chris already knew that we were going to get her gift. Although why did she blush a little? Did something happen before I noticed it?
– No negative emotions, huh?
Vanir's whole attitude went down the drain, after which he stopped smiling and motioned us into the store, after which he entered himself.
– I'll bring your gift now, wait here.
– Oh, it's Kazuma-san and Chris-san!
A lich-girl hiding between the shelves suddenly came up to us. Her huge breasts caused perverse impulses in the depths of my body and mind, but I managed to restrain myself, although it was not easy. She grabbed Chris's hands and said the following with either an apologetic or joyful look.
– I congratulate you on your birthday! I wish you to steal more valuables from various dungeons!
– Y-yes, thank you.
Chris felt a little awkward about Wiz, who was extremely energetic. Today, the owner of this shop was not wearing her usual clothes, instead she was wearing a maid costume for some reason. I did not dare to ask what was the matter, because my gaze was attracted by a good neckline on her chest, where beautiful light and delicate skin was visible.
– Kazuma-san, I hope your gift will pay off your expectations!
I didn't even have time to say anything, as she immediately rushed off to another part of the store, where Vanir had just left earlier. In any case, I also hoped that my expectations would pay off, because it wasn't in vain that I spent both my time and my finances on this birthday gift for Chris.
– Here's your present, hopeless adventurer.
This Archdemon appeared just in time, after which he handed me two boxes wrapped in gift wrappers. I gladly accepted them, after which I put one aside for a while, and gave the other to my companion as a present.
– Is that..?
It seemed like it was hard for her to believe that I was giving her something. Am I really that bad at this kind of thing? Or does my appearance make girls dislike me?
– This is your gift. Happy birthday, Chris.
Her beautiful blue eyes brightened slightly, after which I even saw small drops of transparent tears on the edges of this girl's eye sockets. But still, instead of accepting the gift right away, she pounced on me and wrapped my fragile youthful body in a tight embrace. I almost dropped the gift from my hand when this nimble thief hugged me so tenderly and at the same time strongly. I could feel the rapid rhythm of her heart at such a close distance, and every breath she took was accompanied by the fact that I had felt the touch of such a small female breast to my body.
– Thank you, Kazuma.
She slowly let go of me and wiped away her running tears, after which she very deftly managed to snatch the gift box from my hands and open it. I noticed a mixture of joy and quick bewilderment on her face.
– This... What is it..?
– These are your new white panties. Do you remember how you constantly complained that I was stealing your underwear using a skill that someone taught me? So, these panties are enchanted with magic and they simply cannot be stolen in any way.
I expected that she would be delighted with such an immodest and useful gift, but the next moment this girl gave me a strong slap in the face.