Éponine's Errand
Marius: Éponine, do this for me. That girl I saw today, discover where she lives.
Éponine: Why? So you can stalk her? That's creepy.
Marius: It's not stalking! I'm just trying to arrange a meeting with her!
Éponine: As you wish.
Narrator: If this were a different story, Marius would have discovered that when the gamine said, "As you wish," what she was really saying was, "I love you." But this is not that story.
ABC Café/Red and Black
Courfeyrac: What's with the title of this song? ABC is not the café, it's the name of our group!
Bahorel: *fists raised* Let me speak with the ignoramuses who wrote this musical!
Enjolras: The time is near…
So near, it's stirring the blood in the people's veins!
And yet beware…
Don't let the wine go to your brains.
Grantaire: *takes another drink while staring pointedly at Enjolras*
Enjolras: Grantaire, put that bottle down!
We need a sign
To rally the people,
To call them to arms,
To bring them in line!
Grantaire, put that bottle down!
*Marius enters*
Enjolras: Marius, you're late!
Joly: What's wrong today? There's something wrong with you most days, but today you look as if you've seen a ghost!
Grantaire: Some wine and say what's going on!
Enjolras: Grantaire, put that bottle down!
Marius: A ghost, you say…a ghost maybe.
She was just like a ghost to me.
One minute there, then she was gone!
Grantaire: I am agog!
I am aghast!
Is Marius in love at last?
I've never seen him 'ooh' and 'aah.'
You talk of battles to be won,
And here he comes like Don Juan.
It's better than an opera!
Enjolras: Grantaire, put that bottle down! It is time for us all
To decide who we are.
Do we fight for the right
For a night at the opera now?
Have you asked of yourselves
What's the price you might pay?
Is it simply a game
For rich young boys to play?
The color of the world
Is changing day by day.
Red—-
Grantaire: The color of my wine!
Enjolras: Grantaire, put that bottle down!
Marius: If you had been there, you would know how it feels.
Enjolras: I don't care about your love life.
Marius: You don't care about love, period!
Enjolras: I'm in a relationship with Patria.
Grantaire: France can't love you back, Apollo.
Enjolras: Stop calling me Apollo! It's worse than "Enjy"!
Red—-the color of my vest! Wait! *takes a look at the script* Who changed the lyrics?
Tales: *raises hand sheepishly*
Enjolras: Well, Courfeyrac, do we have all the guns?
Feuilly, Combeferre, our time is running short.
Grantaire, put that bottle down!
Do we have the guns we need?
Grantaire: Give me brandy on my breath
And I'll breathe them all to death!
Enjolras: Grantaire, put that bottle down!
Courfeyrac: At St. Antoine, they're with us to a man!
Combeferre: At Notre Dame, they're tearing up the stones!
Feuilly: Twenty rifles, good as new!
Gavroche: Listen!
Joly: Twenty rounds for every man!
Gavroche: Listen to me!
Jehan Prouvaire: Double that in Port St. Cloud!
Gavroche: Listen, everybody!
Bossuet: Seven guns in St. Martin!
Enjolras: Grantaire, put that bottle down!
Gavroche: General Lamarque is dead!
Enjolras: Lamarque is dead. Lamarque!
His death is the hour of fate.
The people's man. His death is the sign we await!
On his funeral day, they will honor his name.
It's a rallying cry that will reach every ear!
In the death of Lamarque we will kindle the flame.
They will see that the day of salvation is near!
The time is here!
Let us welcome it gladly with courage and cheer.
Let us take to the streets with no doubt in our hearts, but a jubilant shout.
They will come one and all.
All: They will come when we call!
Enjolras: Grantaire, put that bottle down!
Do You Hear the People Sing?
Tales (to the tune): Do you hear the fangirls sing?
Singing the song of nine French men?
It is the music of the writers who will daydream with their pen!
When the fanfics are churned out,
Singing the praises of this group
There will be thousands of stories waiting for reviews!
Director: Tales, I know you wanted to make a parody of Les Mis, but did you have to hijack its most iconic song?
Tales: We Mizzies all know this song is a favorite. I think this is the perfect opportunity for us to show all of Les Amis some love! They don't get equal opportunities to shine, in any adaptation! Introduce yourselves to us, Friends!
Enjolras: I'm Enjolras, and I'm the leader of Les Amis de'lABC.
Enjy fangirl 1: That hair!
Enjy fangirl 2: That vest!
Enjy fangirl 3: Marry me!
Enjy fangirls: *squeeing*
Enjolras: *looking annoyed*
Tales: Uh, moving on!
Courfeyrac: I'm Courfeyrac, and according to the Brick, I possess the qualities of a center: roundness and brightness. Thanks a lot, Victor Hugo, for calling me round!
Combeferre: I'm Combeferre, and I'm the guide. I work at a hospital. I'm very intelligent, I study everything I can. I like moths.
Jehan Prouvaire: I'm Jean Prouvaire, but I go by Jehan. I'm the romantic of the group. I write poetry, and I play the flute.
Joly: I'm Joly, and I'm studying to be a doctor. *checks his pulse* Just making sure I'm in good health!
Bossuet: I'm Lesgles, aka L'aigle, aka Bossuet. Bad luck seems to follow me everywhere I go, even in the way of love. I once met this really nice girl named Musichetta…
Feuilly: Jestem Feuilly, i mam dużo fanów.
Tales: In English, Feuilly!
Feuilly: Sorry! I'm Feuilly, and I have lots of fans.
Courfeyrac: Really? I wouldn't have guessed. I suppose you do have admirers, though maybe not as many as Enjolras…
Feuilly: No, not fangirls! Although I know the author likes me. Thanks, Tales! Fans, like the things you wave to cool yourself off with. I'm a fanmaker.
Bahorel: I'm Bahorel. I'm studying law, but I'm not ever going to graduate. I like punching people!
Grantaire: I'm Grantaire. I enjoy fencing, liquor, dancing, wine, drawing, and absinthe. I'm the complete reverse of Enjolras. Everyone says I'm ugly.
Tales: I don't think you're ugly, R!
Grantaire: Aww, thanks, Tales! You're the best! *hugs her*
Tales: *stiffens up, but is not entirely displeased* Must be the wine talking.
Feuilly: Can we at least sing another verse of DYHTPS?
Director: Go for it!
Feuilly: Will you give all you can give
So that our banner may advance?
Some will fall and some will live
Will you stand up and take your chance?
The blood of the martyrs will water the meadows of France!
Joly: Ew, that's so disgusting and unsanitary!
Enjolras: Just get into the spirit of things, Joly!