Confessions of aTeenage Jester
Synopsis: Fizz wants to open up to Blitz about something important.
Hi there. I like 21 Pilots and the new album has me in a chokehold. I AM working on Aftermath, it's just taking a lot longer because my muses have a lot to say. This is just silly and pointless and i have about 100 things I SHOULD be doing but In the middle of all that I was like; "hey. I wanna write." So I derailed my life to do this.
Song Inspo: Backslide- 21 Pilots
I have a BlitzFizz playlist I was using to entertain myself when I was working on preparing for my vendor spot at pride. Blame that. And me. And 21 Pilots. I own none of my free will. :P
Ages: I head canon that Fizz is two years younger than Blitz. The end. I have no rhyme or reason for this I just think that way. They are both teenagers in this, maybe 2-3 years before the accident.
Also YES this is the same Terri from Aftermath. Yay for tiny role OCs :D
Happy Pride! :D
"Hey! Hey wait up you two!" A voice echoed and bounced off the old, decrepit buildings that lined the streets that ran parallel to Cash Buckzo's circus in Greed. The buildings were all abandoned, left to rot or become home to vulgar graffiti and even worse bugs and mold as the years went by.
The voice belonged to another circus performer, a tall Imp named Terri, who had one horn shorter than the other. He was a year older than Blitz and three years older than Fizz; he had been in the circus though around as long as the two of them have, his mom and dad falling on hard times, desperate to find success somewhere. Terri himself was ok; he was a tad loud and didn't have the greatest "read the room" radar.
"Shh, be quiet, we aren't even supposed to leave!" Blitzø hissed once Terri caught up to him and Fizz.
Fizz offered a little wave before wrapping his arms around himself, a look of disappointment on his face. He wanted this adventure to be just the two of them, Blitzø and himself, like it always was. The two were going down the road to the old carnival, to see if they couldn't reactivate some of it and have a fun night riding some rides or just freaking each other out by hiding behind things, or finding old masks to scare each other with.
"Then what the fuck are you doing out?" Terri asked raising an eyebrow and Blitzø, who waved his hand at him and walked closer to Fizz.
"Come if you want, I'm sure you'd say something to my dad if you don't…" Blitzø grumbled in response, quickening his pace and brushing against Fizz as he passed, causing Fizz to pause for a second and blush.
Lately, things have been… weird.
And they shared a room so it only made them weirder.
It wasn't weird to Fizz when he found himself attracted to guys, he sort of always suspected that, it was weird when he started developing a crush on his best friend. They were almost always together, they relied on each other to make it through the day, through performances, Fizz always being there to comfort Blitzø from his dad's abuse… it wasn't outside the realm of possibility that Fizz would fall for his best friend, it was just… weird. They were friends. They did friend things. Right?
Right?
Well… maybe that was a little bit of an understatement, they were more than friends some may say, and possibly why Cash didn't like seeing the two together. They would sneak off at night to go swimming in unsuspecting demon's yards, steal from local stores around the circus, sleep curled up together in the only tree in Greed, a thousand year old hard oak with no leaves left but the perfect bowed out perch to sit or lay in while watching everything from below.
That past part was what made Fizz suspicious of Blitzø. He wanted to think his best friend felt some sort of way about him too, because there were little moments like that, the compliments, the reassurance, the "intimate" goofing off, that lead Fizz to believe, to hope that Blitzø felt something, but he wasn't sure. Hell, he wasn't even sure if Blitzø knew.
"Dude. When have I ever done that?" Terri asked, leaning an arm of Fizz's shoulder while they walked.
"Uh. Last week. When I gave you some of my dad's booze and you fucking told him!" Blitzø complained, turning to face Terri. When he realized Terri was leaning on Fizz, Blitzø took Fizz by the wrist and pulled him to his side, prompting him to run by tugging at his wrist.
The two ran down the road laughing, with Terri running behind them trying to catch up.
Stuff like that.
The Carnival seemed darker than the street, even though the carnival had lamps and the street did not. The lights seemed to make everything darker, causing deep shadows over places that would otherwise wise be light. It was creepy, but also fun.
"Alright we're do we start?" Blitzø asked turning to Fizz who turned to look at Terri who was looking up at a tall tower ride. "This was your idea, Fizz."
"I know that, uh…" Fizz looked away and walked further into the park. One of the overhead lights caught his eye, the dim light shining on a round barrel looking ride. "That one." fizz pointed to it, getting closer to it to inspect what it could possibly do. The pair of them and possibly Terri had never been to a carnival before, none of them could afford to go to Mammon's "Loo Loo Land" but when that made the small park near the Circus go out of business, Fizz had the idea to at least go and check it out before Blitzø suggested they try to get the rides to work so they could at least try them out.
"Alright." Came Blitzø's reply, closer to Fizz than he thought he was. Blitzø was standing next to him, observing the electric panel that made the ride work. "I mean if I could read…" Blitzø started pressing buttons until the lights around the ride turned on and a loud horn blared, shaking the ground and causing the two Imps to jump back.
"Whoa! That one works!" Terri yelled from wherever he was, somewhere behind the two.
"Yeah hopefully." Blitzø said; tongue out in concentration as he studied what button to press next.
"Big red button says start…" Fizz offered from over his shoulder, putting a shaking hand on it before smiling at him in reassurance.
"You're a nerd." Blitzø fired back making a face at him before turning back and pressing the button Fizz suggested. The barrel started to lift up, a couple of loud creaks from months of abandonment as it stretched up to its tallest position before the whole barrel started spinning, some obnoxiously loud dance music accompanying its ascent.
"Awesome!" Fizz said jumping up and down. Terri had joined them next to the ride.
"So how do we get on?" He asked. The three looked at each other.
"Well, I guess we would have to take turns, someone has to be out here to press all the buttons, so it actually works." Fizz explained. He looked back at the panel and reached over to press the stop button. The ride slowly stopped spinning and returned back to its resting position. "I think Blitzø and I should try this ride out first, you can press the buttons for us."
"Okay but I ain't doin' it every time. I want to try them too." Terri said raising a brow at the pair. Blitzø smirked evilly, sharing the look with Fizz who took a second before realizing what he was thinking, causing Fizz to look down and blush, chuckling.
"You are NOT leaving me on one of these fucking things." Terri growled, pushing Blitzø playfully. Blitzø and Fizz burst out laughing.
"Alright alright just promise us you won't tell my dad shit." Blitzø said, holding a hand out to Terri. He rolled his eyes but accepted the hand.
"Fine." Terri agreed. Fizz regained his composure and walked Terri through the 3 buttons he needed to press for the ride to work before he and Blitzø entered the ride. They both looked at each other as they realized the ride didn't have seatbelts, but it appeared that there was a ledge and the floor drooped out.
"Uh. Ha-ha…" Blitzø said walking in and standing against the wall. "Good luck to us I guess!" He giggled as Fizz closed the door, trying to figure out how the ride worked exactly before taking his place next to Blitzø, the two of them sharing a look.
"Alright Terri!" Blitzø yelled. The ride started playing its music and rising and the middle of the floor opened up. Fizz guessed that the spinning would keep the two of them in place and that they would both not be violently flung from the ride but he was nerv-
Blitzø took Fizz's hand, linking their fingers together and squeezing tightly. Fizz blushed and the lights around them flashed before going out completely. The barrel started to spin and fizz felt his body press against the back of the wall. Blitzø let out a loud laugh before yelling; "Fizz! Try lifting your arm!" Fizz tried lifting the arm that wasn't holding Blitzø's hand, it wouldn't move.
"What?" Fizz asked in disbelief, trying again and laughing. He tried to lift his head too but it wouldn't budge.
The ride was over too soon.
"Woooo!"Blitzø yelled after the ride came to a stop. He started moving before the floor fully closed and tripped on his own feet, falling to the ground. Fizz moved forward, concerned before Blitzø let out another "woooo" before laughing and rolling over, looking up at Fizz.
Fizz smiled at him and held out a hand to help him back up. Blitzø took it and got up, their hands lingering together before fully letting go. Blitzø looked towards the door, which opened to Terri who was wearing a large grin.
"My turn!"
The night was exciting. Even with Terri there. The trio managed to get almost every ride to work, and spent a long time scaring the shit out of each other in a funhouse with broken mirrors and even more broken animatronics. Fizz just wished it was the two of them still. Before they had gone on this adventure, Fizz had tried to psyche himself up into telling Blitzø about how he felt, or at least about his feelings for guys. He thought he owed that to his best friend, being the first being he ever came out to. He was sure that Cash would give the two of them hell for it, Cash wasn't the biggest fan of anyone "different", though he wouldn't outright attack Fizz for it, he would find a way to make it Blitzø's fault. Fizz didn't want that. He only wanted to tell Blitzø so that he might be able to help him hide, or maybe telling him might get rid of his crush, him finding out might just squash that. Fizz imagining Blitzø putting a hand on his shoulder and laughing at him saying something like; "that's cool" would really kill the feeling.
Right?
Regardless it was moot now. Fizz couldn't tell Blitzø the truth. Not with Terri there.
Unless…
"It's getting late, huh, guys?" Terri asked, joining Fizz on the broken bench he was currently sitting on. Blitzø wasn't too far away from them, standing on a fake plant and looking out over the rest of the park.
"It's always been late!" Blitzø called from where he was.
"Yeah but don't you think we should pack it up? They might start lookin' for us." Terri said. He wasn't wrong, but, it was seldom that anyone checked around the sleeping quarters at night. No one really ever suspected Blitzø and Fizz sneaking off because they always knew around the time they should come back.
"Pussy. If you want to leave you can. Me and Fizz'is professionals." Blitzø said jokingly, jumping off the plant and casually walking over to the bench. Terri looked at Fizz who was looking off into the distance; the dim lights of Mammon's "Loo Loo Land" filled the grey sky.
"If you want to go ahead you can." Fizz said. "It's a nice night." Fizz didn't want to leave yet. He felt free and calm anywhere but the circus. Sure, he loved preforming but he didn't love being abused, or being forced to diet, or being forced to practice for 13 plus hours a day, or being away from Blitzø… here, on the outside he could be free.
"Yeah I think I'm gonna head back." Terri said standing up and brushing off his pants. "See you guys in the morning."
Blitzø and Fizz both bid Terri farewell and watched him disappear into the darkness of the street. Blitzø joined Fizz on the bench and signed, scratching his head.
"Do we ever have to go back?" Blitzø asked almost miserably. It was a question that he asked almost every time they went on an adventure. Fizz felt bad for Blitzø. If anyone deserved to escape the circus, it was him. He got abused worse than Fizz was, once being sold to Royal snobs for 5$. Fizz couldn't imagine having a family who you thought cared about you do that.
"We could stay here forever." Fizz said reassuringly, even knowing they couldn't do that. He took a deep breath before reaching over and touching the top of Blitzø's hand. Blitzø looked over at their hand before turning his over and holding Fizz's hand.
"We could run…" Blitzø suggested. Fizz liked the idea, imagining the two of them running away together, stealing enough stuff to buy a crappy apartment and being able to live together and do what they want, without the threat of being abused or starved for someone else's gain.
"I wish…" Fizz mumbled. It wasn't feasible. If Fizz agreed and stood up and tried to pull Blitzø up with him, he would stop and ask Fizz about Barbie, or his mom. Blitzo couldn't truly leave. He couldn't leave them. It left Fizz feeling lonely. He didn't have the same hang ups. He didn't have a family. It was just him.
And Blitzø…
"But we can't." Blitzo murmured, taking Fizz's hand in both of his and playing with his fingers, causing Fizz to blush. He took a deep breath and looked away for a minute, figuring it was now or never. He should tell Blitzo the truth.
"Blitzø, I need to tell you something." Fizz said nervously, pulling his hand away and inching further away from Blitzø.
"What's up?" He asked, turning to look at Fizz who was looking at his knees.
"I'm gay." Fizz started. He couldn't make eye contact with Blitzø yet. "I've known since I was like 8 or so. I just don't know, I didn't know if I should tell anyone, but you're my best friend, and…" Fizz stopped as he felt Blitzø's arm wrap around his shoulders and squeezed them.
"I kinda figured." Blitzø said laughing a bit. "Have you seen yourself? Haha, Barbie taught you to wear makeup because you asked!" He squeezed Fizz's shoulders again and poked Fizz's hand with his finger. "You're wearing nail polish."
"Those are just stereotypes! I like all that stuff!" Fizz defended himself weakly. Blitzø rested his head on Fizz's shoulder.
"Uh huh. Yeah." Blitzø said. Fizz sighed and put his head down on Blitzø's. "I'm not surprised, is all I'm sayin'."
"thanks, jerk." Fizz grumbled, and pushed Blitzø away from him a little before smiling shyly.
Blitzø regained his composure from being pushed and slid back to his spot sitting next to Fizz, putting his arm around him again. "Thanks for telling me." He said after a few seconds of silence. "I was just joking about all that, I didn't really know… but it's cool you know, I sure don't…"
"It takes time I guess." Fizz offered, not knowing too many other beings who had come out. He didn't know if it was normal to know who he was so early. He figured it was more realistic for Blitzø to not know because of his dad, and his hang-ups on all that.
"Yeah, I don't know…" Blitzø said almost sadly before shaking his head and standing up. "Now, it's getting late, we should probably head back."
"Yeah. Uh, don't tell anyone else about…" Fizz started while standing before getting interrupted by Blitzø who hugged him.
"Of course I won't. It'll be our secret." Blitzø said softly. "I know."
-2 Years Later-
Dear Fizz;
Happy Birthday Circus-Pus!
hey, so, i wanted to talk to you about something important, but i didn't know how to say it out loud, you know? the day we went to the pier, a few weeks ago when i told you i needed to tell you something, and i couldn't? well, this is that, so...
remember when you came out to me? yeah well, it made me realize something... that i maybe felt the same way. i know now that i did, that i do. i really like you, Fizz...
Maybe we could try to work it out, maybe we could actually run away... escape all this and be happy somewhere we don't have to hide from anyone. we could start up our own circus, both be the stars! or you know, anything.
Maybe we could try? Even if we don't run away?
We can talk about it,
Blitzø