There was silence…dead silence and Francesca didn't dare to look at Janet's face.
''Oh…''
''I am sorry?''
''Why are you sorry child?''
''Because it is Michael.''
That confused two older women. Was she sorry because she married Michael to keep the life she had or that she married him because they developed some connection that resulted in marriage?
''Why did you marry him? Did you marry to stay Countess or you really care for the boy?''
Janet really wanted to know and she also saw on Helen's face that it mattered to her too to know. It was her son after all that could lose a relationship with an aunt that helped raise him.
''I will be honest with you because I owe it to you. You were both so good to me and supported me when I needed you. I don't think I can lie to you…or that I should.''
Janet nodded and got a bight of her food. She had to distract herself somehow. Francesca took a seat on the chair closest to the older women and prepared herself for a confession she was not really ready for.
''We were friends. We never did anything during my marriage to dishonor me, John, our union and friendships that were shared. I will not lie and say that Michael and I were not close. Aside from John, he was my closest friend and someone I could confide in…who would be honest with me when I needed an advice and who wouldn't try to say things in polite way just not to hurt my feelings. On the night John died, I was pestering Michael to court my sister Eloise. I was telling him that marriage could be beautiful thing when people shared love and understanding like John and I did. That is proof of how I never saw him as a love interest when I was married. Then John died, I lost the baby and I needed him because I believed he was the only one who could understand my pain, take part of my burden. And I do not disrespect your pain. I know it doesn't compare, but I couldn't burden two of you with my pain. Your loss was bigger than mine. You both lost a son…and my loss was mine. And then he left. I know now he left because I needed him to be substitute for John. To be my support, to lift me up and be father figure to my and John's potential son… and he loved me. He wanted me to need him as Michael and not as substitute for my husband.''
''And how did marriage come to be?''
Now that was the part she wanted to skip. She was ashamed to tell them about a lot of events that led to her saying yes in the end. How do you tell them that a lot of inappropriate relations all over the estate made you finally accept proposal?
''Well, I realized I wanted a baby and talked to you and my mother about it. All of you told me to get back on the marriage mart, to court and maybe during the season I might find my match. And I did. I went back into society. I danced, talked with eligible men and everything was going according to plan, accept that I felt nothing for them and started arguing with Michael about the flowers I was getting, attention that was on me. I also started feeling something, I had no idea what…I was not aware it was jealousy, when other women asked or spoke about him. Yes, most of the talk was about how amazing lover they heard he was but now on top of wanting him as a lover, they wanted him as a husband because he could provide and also give someone the title of Countess. Kilmartin is maybe too far for some of them, but the name enough has some meaning. Even my own mother and siblings spoke of him as a desirable rake and I felt need to defend him. To tell them that there is so much more to him than reputation he has or stories they tell about him. I know he had his way with all sorts of women, but in all honesty, many men of society did too and no one questions that all the time. My brothers first…and my mother refuses to remember what they did before their marriages. I am sure my brother Colin had his fair share of women on his travels. I know for a fact he did when he visited me in Kilmartin. It infuriated me how they spoke of him and also, he drove me mad with his little jabs and comments about my suitors. And then, from time to time he would say something so raw and honest that he actually didn't want to say. He told me that any man who doesn't want me is mad. He defended me from someone who tried to take advantage of me and then when I asked how did he know where to find me he said with so much sadness and anger that he always knew how and where to find me.''
She looked at two ladies and saw different things on their faces. Helen had a hint of a smile and Janet was bighting her lip with eyes full of tears.
''Go on child…''
Now she was venturing into territory she had no idea how to handle. How much she should tell them.
''That…that night we ended up sharing our first kiss. It was…different. I haven't been kissed or touched by anyone since John and that kiss felt so scary and intense.''
''Why?''
''Because it was Michael. It was John's brother, my best friend. He…he sees me… He sees me for who I really am. He knew from the go that none of my suiters was not for me and in our arguments, he listed the same reasons I had in my mind why they were not good for me. I never said them out loud, but he knew…he knew some things even before I noticed them. It started with how they were bringing me flowers and chocolates I didn't like. And I did mention in many conversations what were sweets I love and flowers I care for. He pointed out that many of them didn't see me, but two doweries I would get, connection to the Bridgerton family and with that a chance to be at queen's private dinners, they saw me as a way to more power. Some of the men who were visiting were ones that got rich in recent years and got their titles so they needed a Bridgerton to make them ''legitimate'' part of society. Some of them were old families with very little or no money, so they needed me for the money I would bring to the marriage. And as usual he was right. None of them wanted me. They all wanted something that having me as a wife would bring them.''
She took some of her tea.
''So, I went to the only place that I saw as an escape. I went to Kilmartin. Maybe because it was too far from society and I knew none of the suitors would follow and maybe…''
''Because you wanted to know if he would follow.''
She looked at Helen a bit surprised by the smirk on her face. He did look like his mother when they had that smirk on their face.
''Looking back… I think I went to the place I knew HE would follow. I wanted him to find me and help me resolve this confusion and chaos in my head and heart too. And I also wanted him to prove me wrong and stay away. I knew I loved John… I would have never married him if I didn't feel something like that for him. His love was so tender, easy… We laughed together. We played music, we enjoyed silence and many things were said with that silence.''
She looked at Janet.
''I had a beautiful life with John and we were so happy together. I am sure many never understood connection and love we shared. We didn't love like my siblings did. We didn't have any drama in our courting or marriage. Our biggest drama was Michael coming from his adventures and going riding or hunting with him. Listening to his stories in the evening sitting by the fire and having a sip or two of whiskey. Two of them having disagreements about politics or some new social movements. That was drama in our life. I would never change those two years we had and even knowing what pain that love would bring, I would have married him each time. I could never regret having him in my life…''
She could feel that two women wanted her to continue about how marriage came to be. They knew she loved John and none of them ever doubted her devotion to the poor boy.
''And then he found me. I was taking one of my walks trying to clear my head and make some sense of situation I was in. I came back to the house and I could feel in my gut he was there. I simply knew he was. Like there were some sparks in the air telling me that the danger is near and rushed into it head first. I entered the house and Davis informed me that I had a visitor...who is not really a visitor. I didn't need to know more. I knew who it was. I entered the room and saw him there. His coat was crumpled, his hair all over the place and I was pretty sure he was either riding his horse to come here or riding outside the carriage. I knew he followed me the moment he realized I was gone and I was terrified.''
She smiled at that moment.
''We exchanged usual pleasantries… Well, I did start with that. And then he informed me that my brother Colin got engaged to Penelope. He told me that my brother told him himself about the big news. And that was the end of small talk. I asked him how long was he staying offered to tell for his room to be arranged and he told me that his stay is depending on me. I didn't like the direction that was going but I simply couldn't leave. I had to know why me? I never influenced his comings and goings, at least that was what I believed. I was not aware of many things that later came to light.
He told me we should marry and I couldn't believe what he was saying. I couldn't believe he was asking for my hand in marriage just because of one kiss that was a bit intense. I knew he held me in regard and respected me, but marriage because of the kiss…no…I was a widow and usually we are allowed much more liberties than unmarried ladies are. I knew that I didn't have to marry because I kissed someone or even potentially did more than kissing. Being a widow is lonely, but it gives women liberties they don't have before marriage. I told him that is the worst possible idea and then he started listing reasons why I should say yes. I wouldn't have to move. I was familiar with the estate and loved being here. I was in high regard of all the people working for the family and tenants loved me too. I took care of them and they took care of me in their own way. He also stated that we know each other and that getting to know any other suiter would take time, maybe even go beyond the season. He respected me and would never hurt me or put me in a position I shouldn't be in…and he promised to give me children. That was something that started this madness of finding a husband. And his offer was very tempting. On a very rational level, he was right about everything. I did love living here. Kilmartin is my home, has been my home for years now and I never felt more at home than there.''
She looked at them and smiled.
''I do love this family. Michael and I are not strangers. We do know each other. We didn't need that time to get to know one another. I really felt like I knew him. I knew who Michael was. I knew that underneath that façade of rake and bad boy everyone wants to see is a very smart, practical and hardworking man who saw the world, saw the war and had some scars he never spoke of. He knew of loss, more than any of us. I lost father and a husband. He lost his father and John too, but he also lost his friends. He saw them die in front of him in most painful and chaotic situations. We were both marked by loss…same loss. Our fathers and John.''
She took some more of her tea and smiled for a moment.
''He was the first person I ever talked about my father's death in details. John knew, of course he knew…Everyone knew… But he didn't like to talk about it. I knew he lost his father how he became and Earl and that was it. John never really wanted to talk about sad or dark moments in his life. He tried to find positive side to everything. Yes, he lost his father, but he still had you, Michael, Helen…and then me. He had joy in his life because he had a good family and love from each of you. Yes, he was worried for Michael when he was in the military, but even then, he didn't let any dark toughs plague his mind. For him life was good. He had all of us and he didn't want to dwell in the past.''
She saw the understanding on the other women's face. They could agree with that, especially Janet.
'' Well, Michael and I did. We did dwell in his past, my past… He was ready to listen about how I felt about my father's death. Anthony turning from a very happy person into shell and how happy I was when Kate came because she gave us our brother back. During our hikes we spoke about war, horrors he saw there. He still has nightmares sometimes or simply can't sleep at night. We spoke about the pain and loss in general, and it helped me a lot. I realized after John died why we never spoke of it. John couldn't speak of it because he never really dealt with it. Talking about it liberated me in a way. Even talking about loss of John helped me move on from the limbo I was in. When I started my season back, I was not sure I would find a match. I did remember some of those men from my season. Some were married at the time and some were looking for a bride and still didn't find them. I knew that I couldn't really pick and choose as a widow. I couldn't compete with young girls entering society and then I got so much attention and paid unexpected attention to Michael and girls who were swooning around him.''
Helen noticed how she narrowed here eyes. She was jealous of attention he was getting. She found it sweet. Her son and his new wife were not that different. Francesca knew she had to get to the answer and stop circling around it. Jenet wanted to know why and she owed it to her.
''Back to the marriage… Well, I did agree with things he said and if he was any other man I would have said yes then and there. But I couldn't. All I could see in my mind was the fact that I was John's widow and he was a brother to him. I was already being pained by the guilt of the kiss and how I allowed my self to enjoy kiss and touch of another that it was too much to even think of something more. I knew that marriage to Michael and wanting children would involve more than kissing. I was not naïve that we would find a baby in the basket on our front door and have it as ours. I knew some things had to happen, rather often, if I wanted to be with a child.''
They both nodded. Yes, women did get with child in only one way so they understood what she spoke of.
''Michael, being Michael didn't give up. And he was insufferable with his little ploys to get me to say yes. And every time I was close to saying yes, I would remember John. Reasons to marry Michael were growing day by day…and I couldn't stop thinking of John. I couldn't even visit his grave out of guilt.''
Helen was a bit worried now.
''Honey, did he do something? Did he not act in a way appropriate to a gentleman?''
The way she blushed was clear answer.
''He…I… Well, we were both to blame for improper behavior.''
That got attention from both women. Helen knew her son was experienced lover and sweet talker but she was surprised it worked on Francesca. She was always very proper and knew how to put distance between herself and unwanted attention. So, that only meant that she wanted him too. That part made her happy. Janet was surprised by how hard Francesca fought it. She felt sorry for the girl for torturing herself with memories of her son. She knew John would be happy for them.
''In our time prior to marriage we didn't behave in a way I was proud of. We said a lot of hurtful things to one another. And some of them were hard truths we needed to hear and some were just hurtful comments out of anger and frustration with the situation we found ourselves in. After those arguments one of us would show up at the other one's chambers and we would spend the night together. We both did it and I can't say for sure who did it more. We were pretty equal in our search for the other one. I would spend my nights with him and my days running from him out of guilt.''
''What changed?''
''It go point that for the entire week none of us went back to their chambers until it was time to start the day. Some nights he was in my chambers and some I was in his. It was growing to be more than just dalliance. Lovers usually separate after the act. They don't sleep in the arms of the other or watch them sleep. You don't hold your lover and whisper sweet nothings in their ear when you think they are asleep.''
That got Helen and Janet a bit uncomfortable. They were long past talking about things like this. They both were widowed and none of them has taken a lover after it. They focused on being the best mothers to their sons and all the love they had was poured into that.
''One night I went to him and told him that this must stop. That we must stop and he told me that I have to be the one to end it. I wanted this to end I have to be the one to leave his chamber and never come back because he couldn't be the one to end it. I asked why and after long struggle with himself he told me why. He told me he loved me from the first moment he saw me and it was killing him to have those feelings. He said he was not a good man and that it I were not to marry John and he didn't love him as much as he did, he would have acted on it that day, hours before my wedding and I would have never married that poor man…But he didn't, because it was John. His love and devotion to him and you Janet came before those feelings he had for me. In time instead of those feeling declining and turning into friendship, they just grew deeper as we grew closer. He loved me when I was his cousin's wife. He loved me when I was his widow. He would have raised his child and loved it as his I know that. He went away because he loved me and couldn't stand my pain and being powerless. I realized why he looked hurt when I called him rake and told him that there is someone who will get him to change his mind and fall in love. I remembered the pain in his eyes each time I wanted him to meet someone and when I spoke of only loving John for the rest of my life.''
She looked at Janet.
''John fell in love with a girl and helped her become a woman. Michael loved us both…and in many ways shaped that girl into a woman.''
She smiled.
''With him I am a woman that is not afraid to let the girl out to play. We have so much fun… we laugh…''
She looked at both of them and wiped her eyes.
''I played the piano again after we got married. Now I play almost every day… Most days I play and Michael listens with a book in his hand or just with his eyes closed just enjoying the music and my pleasure of playing.''
That was a surprise for the ladies. Since John died, she didn't touch the instrument.
''I am not sad anymore when I think of John. I think of him as a wonderful memory and immense part of my life and growing. That doesn't mean that I don't love or miss him. It just means that I don't want bad and heavy feelings to taint his memory. He was a happy man, he deserves to be remembered for happiness he gave to all of us, not the pain his passing caused. He didn't want to die and for us to hurt. He wanted to live. He had so many things he wanted to do and see… I am sorry he didn't get the chance to do it. But I refuse to remember him as something painful anymore. ''
Janet looked at crying Francesca and then at Helen that had her eyes wet and small smile on her face and she had no idea what to think. It was not easy to hear all this. Not just for salacious details that Francesca really did spare them of, but because it became real. John was really gone. One more thing she had connecting her to past and John was gone. She was now Michael's wife, his Countess of Kilmartin, his Mrs. Sterling. Those would be his children one day, and she would love them, love very much...but… Until Francesca married, Janet had her to share that feeling of loss and void. Now Francesca was filing that void. You can get ten new husbands but never a new child.
Silence in the room was starting to feel awkward. It was clear that something was expected from her to be said. She knew Helen was happy for her son. It was clear from the way she looked at Francesca that she knew of her son's feelings and she never mentioned it to her because of John and who he was in Francesca's life. And in all honesty, she knew that he could have changed Francesca's mind before the wedding if he wanted to. It was evident now that no woman could resist Michael Sterling and those gray eyes and body of a Greek god. And she was happy that he didn't try anything. She was grateful he loved her son enough to let him enjoy his love and life with such a wonderful girl that did love him very much and showed devotion to him even in his death. Almost five years without thinking about remarrying was admirable in this new generation. In her time, it was not like that. She got up from her chair and walked to Francesca. She offered her hand and the younger woman took it. She took her other hand too and after she felt her wedding ring, she for a moment forgot what she wanted to say.
''My child… Oh, my child… I know it was not easy for you to say all this and even less easy to accept that you feel something for that devilish boy. He always got his way and I have no doubt he played dirty to get you to marry him…''
Francesca blushed and lowered her gaze. Yes, it was dirty…in a way…but also fun…
''And I am glad he did.''
That got her to look back at Janet. There was a smile on her face.
''I might need a minute, but I am glad for you.''
She kissed Francesca's cheek and retired to her room. She needed a moment to rest and moment to adjust to new reality of her family. She was glad they don't have to say goodbye to Francesca, but she also felt sad.''
Helen was still in the room just watching Francesca. There was something different about her and it was clear that Michael had something to do with it. She was proud that her son's love helped her become this different and confidant woman. She was sure the talk with Janet was hard and she didn't envy her for it but she was glad Francesca was honest. What she was not proud of was her son using his ''charms'' to get a woman to marry him but again she was not under impression Francesca didn't really want his attentions. She did, so two of them were to blame for that awkward moment in conversation.
She got up and hugged the girl. Francesca was a bit surprised, but accepted the hug.
''Thank you.''
''What for?''
''For giving him a chance. I know it must have been hard, but thank you for being brave enough to love my son.''
''Loving him was easy, facing it was hard.''
Helen smiled.
''I didn't have true love match as they called it. My late husband was a good man, but we didn't really mash well… I saw being a widow as a relief. My husband left us well off and we knew we could count on Earl to help us too. Since our sons were both without any siblings, they grew up close that made us even closer as a family. So, I might say I had a happy and nice life. John's parents…they loved each other dearly and Janet suffered after that loss. That is why she understood your pain more than I did and why she will be in your corner in the end. She knows how true love feels like…maybe it is not a true love match, but it is a love match. You love my son and he loves you too. After people get over the shock, they will see in the end that it was a right thing to do. As long as two of you feel like you belong together, ton or gossip doesn't matter. ''
''I do love your son. I love him deeply… I just want you to know it was not done on a whim…''
Helen just looked at her.
''Maybe a little bit…but at its core it was not. It was love built on a lot of things. Friendship, loss, pain, survival in most primal way, mutual trust and respect. He is my best friend and everything else is just a bonus.''
''I am glad…''
''Until John, no one really saw me. But with Michael it feels different. I feel like he can see my soul… and he loves what he sees there. All my good and bad, he sees and loves.''
''I am glad you've found a way to one another. And now I must leave you to take that rest. I am sure that you also need a moment alone to process all this.''
She kissed Francesca's cheek and left the room. She was finally alone and despite a lot of things that were hard to say, she felt relief. Like she was liberated from a huge burden because of what Janet said. She was happy for them and that was all Francesca needed to hear to finally start living her future without past ties. No, it didn't mean that John was erased, it meant that he was incorporated in what her future was.
Footman entered the room with flowers and a note.
''For you, My Lady.''
''Thank you.''
She took the note and opened it.
Two hours,
Twenty minutes,
Until I have you are back, until you are in your loving husband's arms.
I have missed you so much that I can't wait to have you in my arms and my bed until it becomes inappropriate to stay away from society.
With love your silly husband,
Michael Sterling
Earl of Kilmartin and
humble servant of the Countess of Kilmartin
That made her laugh. Yes, she felt the same but she knew it was not possible with two guests in the house. His aunt and mother didn't need to be aware of how much he enjoys ravishing his wife… and how much she enjoys it too. He was in for a surprise as much as they were too. After their nap, in time for lunch, Michael would be at home. She wished to have a minute with him at least to tell him that they arrived. He knew they were coming, but he had no knowledge of when since they didn't specify any of it during her stay in Scotland when they were together.
She gave instructions to the cook and went back to her room to rest a bit and change. She put on pink dress with pink overcoat embroidered with silver thread and a bit of pearls. She let one of her bottom braids down and called her maid to help her curl them. Curling iron was prepared and soon those perfect curls were in place for her husband to admire them at first and then make them imperfect again because he can't keep his hands of his wife.
She was ready just in time for lunch and his arrival. She was not sure what would come first. She was going down the stairs when the door opened and Michael got in. She looked him with a beaming smile and he returned it to her. He gave his coat hat to his footman and he took them away. They were finally alone in the room.
''Michael….''
''Frannie…''
She got down the stairs and he was waiting for her on the bottom. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her like it was the last time he would see her.
''I missed you so much.''
''I missed you too…''
''I will make sure never to leave for longer than one night.''
''I think I could agree with that.''
He smiled at her and kissed her again.
''Shall we retire?''
''No, your mother and aunt are here, so none of that until tonight.''
''I am glad they are here but not very happy that we can't have alone time.''
''We can, when it is appropriate.''
''When was I appropriate my love?''
Before she could say anything, his aunt spoke.
''I hope you could be now nephew. She is your wife, but please behave.''
He looked over his wife's shoulder and saw his aunt and mother on the top of the stairs. Janet didn't look angry or like she doesn't approve of them. He was glad for it. His mother had a big smile and he was happy to see her.
''Mother, aunt Jenet.''
''Michael…''
They both gave him a hug and Helen took a moment to just look at him. Happiness looked good on her son. They got into the dining room and Francesca and him took their rightful places at the table as Countess and Earl. They didn't really like sitting that apart, but they had to. Maybe in time they could sneak one or two meals sitting closer, but for now they were choosing their battles with propriety.
''When did you arrive aunt Janet?''
''Today. And let me tell you. Our travels were beautiful, but I missed London and our own home and life. It is nice from time to time to experience some new culture and places, but I am afraid I am getting too old for that. Your mother enjoyed it more, but it was clear she missed you. We were never long enough at one place for her to get any of your responses to her letters so she was sad not knowing what you were up to.''
She took some of her soup and then looked back at him.
''But now I think we both know you were too busy to reply any of the letters…from what we heard.''
He gave them one of his evil side smiles.
'' I can't possibly imagine what you are talking about.''
''Your marriage?''
''Ah! That…''
''Yes, that. And let me tell you Michael Stuart Sterling, you don't play fair.''
''Oh, and how is that?''
''You…used your charm to get her to marry you.''
''And what should I have used? Any suggestion? Some peace of our vast collection of grandfather's guns? Hm…Now that you say it, it might have proven to be more efficient… She would have said yes sooner…''
That got Francesca to giggle and Janet gave them both an eye. She hit him with her napkin.
''Don't play smart with me boy.''
Helen spoke next.
''Pay no attention to him. He is just trying to vex you.''
''Well, he is a vexing one…''
''That he is.''
''I might be, but I know for a fact that all three of you love that about me. It's never boring to be around me and you can expect anything.''
Helen nodded.
''That is true.''
''So, I take it Bridgerton family still doesn't know. How will you tell them? Will you host a dinner here or what?''
Janet looked at both of them waiting for some answer.
''I honestly don't know. I leave it to Francesca to tell her family as she wishes. I will be there with her if she needs me, but I leave it to her. If it was up to me, I would have told them right away, but I respect her need for time and space.''
''I saw my mother and my sisters and sisters in law. My brothers and Elosie were not in the house so I didn't want to tell them first and to the others after. I wanted to tell everyone together. Kate is hosting a ball soon so that would be a good opportunity.''
''To tell your family at the same time the rest of the ton learns?''
Yes, that sounded wrong. Janet was right.
''Why don't you invite them all for dinner tomorrow?''
''Tomorrow is a ball.''
''Oh, and you are going?''
''Yes, I am…I guess we are now.''
''Good, then after lunch you will send letter to Bridgerton house and all their lodges and invite them to join us for tea tomorrow. Then you will tell everyone before the ball or anyone else having a chance to tell them before you and Michael.''
''I shall see to it after we finish lunch.''
''Good, good.''
The rest of the meal was spent in conversation about Kilmartin estate and what two older women visited during their trip. When they were done with lunch, Francesca retired to her study and Michael kept company to his mother and aunt in the sitting room.
Francesca was very nervous penning those letters. She didn't know how they would react. Michael had a reputation. Even after four years out of the country they still asked about him, spoke about him and made-up stories about lovers that never happened. After she sent the letters all she had to do was wait.
She joined them in the sitting room and they spent pleasant afternoon together. Footman came with letters that said that they would join for tea at Kilmartin house at the time she suggested. Violet also said she was glad that other Ladies Kilmartin were back too and that she was excited to hear about their travels. Michael noticed she was nervous so the took her hand and held it. He just smiled at her telling her that he is in her corner no matter what and she smiled back at him signaling that she knows he is.
After dinner Francesca played piano again and all of them enjoyed it. Ladies were looking at Francesca and how she was enjoying playing and then they were looking at Michael who looked at her like she hung the Moon and all the stars. Couple exchanged looks and smiles and Helen really loved it. They acted as they were alone in the world and no one but them existed. At some point his mother and aunt retired giving them excuse to do the same. They were not naïve. Couple couldn't wait to have time alone and they were glad that their rooms were in a different wing of the house, far from the Countess and Earl and their chambers. As soon as his aunt and mother left the room, he pulled her into a very passionate kiss.
''Countess, do you wish to retire now?''
''I would love that.''
They climbed the stairs holding hands and went each to their chambers to change. This time it was her that came into Michael's room and he was surprised to see the door open and her enter.
''This is a nice surprise Countess…''
''I hope so Earl…''
It didn't take them long to disrobe each other and end up in bed making love after many days apart. She really missed him and was happy to be with him again. After they were done making love, she cuddled up to him and he was stroking her bare back and playing with the fingers of her other hand. She still couldn't get used to him with a ring. Michael Sterling had a wedding ring and SHE was the one who placed it there. She never saw this coming and now that it did, she couldn't understand how could she not see it happening. Then her mind wondered to her family and tea they were having. He pulled her closer and kissed top of her head.
''Don't worry. Everything will be fine.''
She smiled.
''How do you know I am worried?''
''I know you.''
He pulled her into kiss and they kissed for a moment.
''I know you, Frannie. I know you worry about things but when things happen, you are one of bravest people I know. You are different from your family. You are not as loud and out there as they are, but you are brave as they are. You are silent rebel. What you did is not something cowards do. You married me, Michael Stewart Sterling, rake of London, heartbreaker and cousin to your late husband. You were brave enough to take me as your husband. That is not act of a coward Frannie. That is an act of a woman who knows what she wants and is brave enough to go for it. You told my aunt about us. You took a risk and it paid off.''
He was right. Hardest part was telling John's mother and that went well. Her family should be easier to accept them. She had her doubts when it came to her mother, but she would deal with Violet if or when she has to. She was maybe terrified of Hyacinth since she said she would marry Michael one day. But she is sure her sister said it just to vex their mother. She was looking forward to seeing Gregory. It has been some time since she saw him and she wanted to know how he liked Eton and if he was doing better than their brothers. Listening to Michael's breathing she realized he was asleep. She smiled and cuddled up closer to him. She will think about all of that tomorrow. Now she wanted to enjoy her night in her husband's arms and nothing else mattered.