Disclaimer: None of the authors own Sonic the Hedgehog or Mass Effect.
Yet another omake from Masterweaver, with quite a few following after this (which I'll post in the following days). Seriously, dude...
APOCRYPHA: Earth Sciences – by Masterweaver
The Asari functionary inhaled, very slowly.
"No," she said, "we do not have Prothean ghosts wandering the citadel."
"Oh. Then what about-"
"Nor do we have contact with other realities in which they are still alive."
"Not what I was going to ask-"
"Or access to reliable time travel to go into the past."
"I mean, fair, time travel is always spotty-"
"We do occasionally unearth Prothean beacons," the functionary allowed, "which appear to have some psychic information stored on them, but the format is so adverse to most species' brains that only Asari are allowed to access it."
"Well that's nice," the archeologist from Earth said casually, "but I was thinking about interviewing the Keepers. They were around for-"
"The Keepers," the functionary said, "are not sapient."
"...they maintain the citadel, though-"
"They are not sapient."
"They're biological robots. Basically early generation Badniks if Eggman was a little more evil. They've got to be at least a little intelligent."
The functionary sighed. "It's illegal to interfere with them, since they're the only ones that can maintain the citadel."
"...Okay, it's clear my ordinary methods won't work here," the archeologist admitted, "but I'll be passing my request to speak with the Keepers up the chain."
"How is talking to the Keepers an ordinary method of archeology?!"
"Lady, do you know how long the Chao live? They've seen everything."