Chapter 85: Captain Blasto:
Chuckie's POV:
Tommy and Dil's Daddy and Angelica's Daddy were showing us a TV show they watched when they were kids, Captain Blasto!
"Captain Blasto was our hero when we were kids," says Tommy and Dil's Daddy.
"I'm wearing his underwear," says Angelica's Daddy, "not literally, because I'm not that obsessed... their Captain Blasto brand."
Captain Blasto was fighting against aliens.
"And get this, he's coming to San Francisco, and we are taking you to meet him," says Tommy and Dil's Daddy, "hey Howard, wanna come with us?"
"The last time I met a childhood celebrity, he turned nuts and tried to kill everyone," says Phil's Daddy, "so thanks, but no thanks."
"That's fair," says Angelica's Daddy.
. . .
We were at the slide-fly convention. Everyone was in costume.
"This is just like with Jade O'Neal and Lord Crater," says Susie.
We then met Captain Blasto.
"Wow, he really let himself go," says Angelica's Daddy.
"Shh," says Tommy and Dil's Daddy, "sir, we are really big fans."
"It's nice to know I still have some," says Captain Blasto, "apparently, ever since this incident with the Hyperforce, people have been afraid of old sci-fi stars."
"What are the odds of that stuff happening again," asks Angelica's Daddy.
Then Lord Crater comes. "Captain Blasto, I, Lord Crater have come to capture you!"
"I don't remember doing a publicity stunt with Final Eclipse," says Captain Blasto.
Author's Note:
For the record, when the Zim realized that Lord Crater was just an actor, they decided to erase his memory of meeting them, but a side effect causes him to think he's the real Lord Crater and now he wants to capture the actor who played Captain Blasto.
Chuckie's POV:
"Lord Crater's back," says Susie, "we have to use the Alpha to keep Captain Blasto safe!"
"Good idea, Susie," says Tommy and Dil's Daddy, "let's all 'use the Alpha'!"
"Good thinking," says Angelica's Daddy.
Lord Crater then creates a smoke screen and grabs Captain Blasto... and accidently takes me too!
Stu's POV:
"That wasn't a publicity stunt," I asked.
"No, some weird encounter messed with his brain and now he thinks he's the real Lord Crater," says a girl who works there.
"Stu, the Zim," says Drew, "I mean we were dealing with them at the time!"
"The Zim probably messed with his brain for some reason," I said, "great, how are we goin to explain to Chas and Kira that Chuckie was kidnapped by a sci-fi actor who thinks he's a space villain?"
Chuckie's POV:
"Lord Crater, please let us go," I said.
"Not until Captain Blasto tell me where his ship is hidden," says Lord Crater, "with it, I shall rule this planet!"
"Who are you," asks Captain Blasto.
"I am Lord Crater! Overlord of Darkness!"
"Look, I'm going to call the Police," says Captain Blasto.
"UUUUUUUUUmmmmmmmmm... Captain Blasto, I've seen aliums and trust me, the Police won't work," I said.
"How many aliums... I mean aliens could you have seen," asks Captain Blasto.
"It's a long story," I said.
Stu's POV:
Drew and I talked to Lt. Klavin.
"So, what's the story again," she asks.
"This is gonna sound weird, but a character from a sci-fi franchise got brainwashed by a group of aliens and now he thinks he's a real space villain and kidnapped Captain Blasto and our friend's son," I said.
"Right," says Lt. Klavin, "and you deal with these aliens a lot?"
"Not since the kids destroyed their ship," says Drew.
"We're not irresponsible," I said, "well, we try not to be. Anyway, you at least gotta believe there's a guy out there, causing trouble dressed like Lord Crater!"
"Sure, that I'll believe," says Lt. Klavin, "it's the part about him being brainwashed by aliens I find nutty. Officer Joe, Officer Dan, tell everyone we're looking for... Lord Crater!"
"Sure," says Officer Dan, "we'll use the Alpha!" Officer Joe laughs.
Chuckie's POV:
"What are we gonna do, Captain Blasto," I asked.
"Kid, listen..." He then looks at me. "We're... gonna get out of here! I am Captain Blasto, Herodum's Greatest Avenger! And I'm going to defeat Lord Crater and get us out of here!"
"How," I asked.
"Just trust me," says Captain Blasto.
Stu's POV:
The Police were searching. You'd think they'd be able to find a guy dressed like Lord Crater. Unfortunately, there are plenty of guys dressed like him. Go figure.
Chuckie's POV:
Captain Blasto tries to undo his chains. "Captain Blasto, I see a stewdriver," I said.
"Chuckie, is it, I'm sorry to say, but I don't need to fix anything," says Captain Blasto.
"Just trust me," I said.
"Hey, what are you two talking about," asks Lord Crater.
"UUUUUUUUUhhhhhhhhh... Politics," says Captain Blasto.
"Never discuss politics... especially with a baby," says Lord Crater.
"I'm four," I said.
"Really, the way you were crying on our way here," says Lord Crater.
"Just go get us those snacks you promised," I said.
"Very well, I will get you... the snacks!" Lord Crater then walks away.
"For an evil space menace, he sure is hospitable," says Captain Blasto.
Tommy's POV:
"Why didn't the Alpha work," asks Kimi.
"Because Lord Crater was too smart," says Susie, "we're going to have to try a new trick!"
"Maybe we can sneak up behind him and knock him out," Dil suggests.
"Nahh, I don't think that would work," says Susie, "let's think of something else."
"I know," says Phil, "what if we told Lord Crater that he isn't real!"
"Y'know, that plan's so good, we're gonna save it for the next time one of us gets kidlapped by a TV bad guy," says Susie.
"You said that last time," says Phil.
Chuckie's POV:
Captain Blasto managed to free himself, using the stewdriver. "Wow, this thing is helpful," says Captain Blasto.
"Alright, I really hope you guys like my rice crispy treats," says Lord Crater. He then sees Captain Blasto's free. "I really shouldn't have made snacks!"
"Surrender, Crater," says Captain Blasto.
The two then fight. Captain Blasto isn't that in shape, but he's not letting that get in his way. Captain Blasto then uses the stewdriver to poke Lord Crater and when he's distracted, Captain Blasto knocks him out. Then the police came.
Stu's POV:
Drew, Captain Blasto, and I checked on Lord Crater. "Where am I?"
"UUUUUUUUUhhhhhhhhh... are you a space villain," I asked.
"What? I just play one for Final Eclipse!"
"I guess when you hit his head, it jogged his memories," says Drew.
"Hey, what made you decide to fight him," I asked, "I thought you were just an actor."
"When I saw how scared Chuckie was, I knew I had to be Captain Blasto, and not because I'm an actor or because I used a screwdriver, but because I'm an actor who used a screwdriver... I lost my train of thought."
"Well, can we still get that autograph," I asked.
"You bet you can," says Captain Blasto.
. . .
We got that autograph and Lord Crater's getting help.
AGU Adventurers' POV:
Chuckie: There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So, when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And that emptiness you felt
Will disappear
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So, when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you, oh, oh
Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away, hey yeah
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time you'll find the way
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So, when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
That a hero lies in you
Mmm, that a hero lies in you!
In the next chapter, Tommy learns about Hubert.