Chapter 3

It had been several hours since everything happened. Willow was no longer freaking out, well, she was more tired from her earlier stress and panic attack than anything, so to keep her mind occupied she started trying to come up with ways to get back home, somewhere more familiar. She started with tests. She walked over to the broken window that had light shining through it. Gingerly she poked her finger into the sunlight. For the first second, there was nothing, then it started to hurt but there was nothing yet. The pain increased exponentially once it started smoking. She had to pull away. 8 seconds. Determined, she tried again, 10 seconds, more smoke than last time. Again, 11 seconds, man this hurts. Once more. 14 seconds, OH HELL FIRE! HAND ON FIRE OW OW OW OW. Willow pulled her hand back and waved it around like an idiot and smacked it into the wall, oh the wall dented, that was something new, later. She used the curtains to smother it, they were thick and heavy and black, she guessed that made sense since this was where a vampire was living. She looked at her damaged finger. It was gray and almost chalky looking, singed black on the tip like she had been playing in an old fire pit. Slowly it began to change to the smooth pale skin she was used to. She counted the seconds while it healed. 28 seconds. She wondered if it was a coincidence that the time was exactly double what it took for the damage to happen.

Next Willow pulled down her sleeve over her hand to cover her finger. Then she repeated the test. 40 seconds before it hurts. Significantly better. 68 before the smoke. 72 before the fire. She handled it much better this time but it still hurt like hell. Hmm, 36 seconds to heal, strange. Alright, so it looks like cloth is the smart way to go so far.

Willow looked up at the thick curtains, They were metal rings embedded into the fabric that hung from a thick decorative metal pole bolted to the wall. She huffed in frustration, no way was she tall enough to reach, even if she could she didn't have any tools to get it down. Willow rubbed her forehead, by the goddess it was just one problem after another wasn't it? Suddenly a thought occurred.

'I'm a vampire. I have super strength.'

Willow hummed in thought, she gathered the curtain in her hand, She didn't want to accidentally get dusted by the sun so she made sure she was in the shadows of the room and would fall into the shadows just in case she stumbled back. Once she made sure she was as safe as she could be, she wrapped the curtain around her forearm three times before pulling with all her strength. The bolts gave way from the wall immediately launching Willow across the room tumbling head over heels in a backward summersault and tangling her in the fabric still clutched in her hand.

Willow didn't curse lightly but damn that was unexpected, hissing Willow detangled herself from her temporary prison, she was pretty sure she bruised her tailbone, but almost immediately the pain went away. Ok, that was pretty cool. Looking at the curtains in her hands and the now broken curtain hanger in amazement, Willow walked back to the window.

Willow gripped the heavy black curtain and swaddled her hand in it before sticking her hand out into the light. Nothing happened. She waited for a good five minutes before she pulled away again. Alright, this looked good. Willow wrapped her arm in the curtain and repeated the test. Nothing. Thank the goddess. Alright, time for the ultimate test. Willow wrapped herself around and around the curtain, the decretive pole still dragging behind her, and stepped into the light. It was strange, Every nerve ending was alight, and her senses screamed at her "DANGER!" but she held firm. It felt like she was being hunted or something, but it was hardly the first time she felt like that. After about a minute she started getting used to the feeling. After five minutes she felt confident that she could go outside.

But where should she go? She couldn't go to the dorm she shared with Buffy, she would never get to the room without someone suspecting something, besides, how would Buffy react? Buffy wouldn't even recognize her under the curtains, she would be dusted before she could get a word out. Her next thought was Xander but immediately dismissed it. She could never go to Xander with this, not after what happened to Jessie. That cut out Anya too. Perhaps Giles, A pang of hurt hit her at the thought of the man but she brushed it aside. She could go to Giles but what could he do for her that she couldn't do for herself? She was research girl after all, besides, she would have to make sure that this soul thing was permanent and that she wasn't a danger to her friends.

She needed to find a safe place to figure things out. Suddenly, an idea struck her—her childhood home. She knew every back alleyway to get there, and it was out of the way of most of the population hot spots. Her parents were never home so she could continue to run tests and research. It wasn't too far away either, if this was the mansion Dracula used originally, She could get there without too much trouble. It was perfect.

With her plan in mind, Willow dragged the metal rod toward herself and unlaced the curtains from the pole. Then she wrapped one of the curtains around herself like a toga and used the other to cover her head like a cloak. Then she make her way to the door. She seriously doubted that anyone else was here as they probably would have come to investigate at least she knew Dracula's wives were dead, Riley and Giles killed them earlier this weekend. She opened the door, peeking out to make sure the coast was clear. The hallway was empty.

Willow moved quickly but cautiously, She reached the staircase and carefully descended, man this guy was spoilt, everything was extra she would hate to have to clean this place up. She made her way to the foyer and the entrance hall. The doors were huge and looming. Willow took a deep breath and braced herself, she checked her wrappings to make sure they were as secure as they could be and then opened the door to blinding sunlight to exit the mansion, the sunlight was harsh and unforgiving, even through the thick fabric. She had to squint her eyes at the sharpness and wished desperately for some sunglasses. She was pretty sure her eyes were more sensitive than they used to be.

Quickly she looked around her, yup, same mansion. She scurried her way through the streets toward her childhood home avoiding the main paths and sticking to the shadows as much as possible her makeshift shroud protecting her from the deadly sunlight. She cut through the forest so she would end up in her backyard, seeing as the key to getting in was under the pot with the bleeding hearts. The journey felt like an eternity, but finally, she reached her destination.

Willow stood in her backyard, It was strange to her that she wasn't panting from the exertion and stress. In fact, she didn't need to breathe at all but she didn't feel comfortable giving that habit up, it just felt wrong. The familiar sight of the overgrown garden and the pot with the bleeding hearts brought a rush of memories. She moved quickly, lifting the pot and retrieving the hidden key. The old metal felt reassuring in her hand. She unlocked the back door and slipped inside, closing it behind her and leaning against it with a sigh of relief.

The house was exactly as she remembered—silent, orderly, and filled with the faint smell of potpourri, that would need to be replaced soon. She made her way to the living room and closed the blinds and curtains, Finally, she shed the heavy curtain and dropped it onto the couch. The darkness inside was comforting. She felt her nerves begin to settle.

Willow headed to her old bedroom, now a guest room filled with dusty furniture and outdated décor. She rummaged through the closet until she found an old, thick blanket. Wrapping herself in it for extra protection, she turned her attention to her laptop, still on the desk where she had left it during her last visit. Thankfully, it had been plugged in and was fully charged. She powered it up, waiting impatiently for it to boot.

Once online, she began her research. She searched for anything related to vampires with souls, looking for ways to manage her new condition. There were references to Angel, of course, but she needed more practical advice. As she read, she jotted down notes, her mind racing with possibilities and plans.

Alright, the biggest issue for her right now was food. She could feel a slight panging in her gut and the beginnings of h-anger. It was different than when she was human, usually, Willow would have to go a couple of hours while being hungry before she got angry. She rarely lost control of her emotions so easily but this felt like everything was an annoyance. Willow wasn't even all that hungry yet but she could feel the annoyance work its way through her heart. But Willow did what she always did, used logic to shake it off. She knew she needed blood, but she could solve that tonight, she was picking up a supply for Spike tonight so it should be ready for her, but could she eat something now to tide her over? Better do some research before any experiments. Willow had just sat down at her desk when she heard the landline ring. Oh! the others. Racing out the door and into the kitchen where the phone hung, Willow picked up the receiver.

"Hello!" she said hoping she didn't sound like she was in a hurry.

"Will's? Oh, thank god you're there. Where have you been? We were worried about you when you didn't show up for class!" Willow cringed. It was Xander, she didn't want to lie to him but she definitely couldn't tell him what happened, he would freak.

"Oh yeah, no sorry, didn't mean to worry you, I just wasn't feeling all that well yesterday so I went to the doctor's, turns out I'm sick, decided to stay in today. I completely blanked on calling, sorry." She said hoping he would buy it.

"Yuck, that's no fun, why didn't you come back to the dorms or Giles? We could have taken care of you," he asked worry coating his voice.

"Oh no, no I can't, I'm um, contagious, I'm really contagious, so it wouldn't be smart of me to go to you guys because I'd get you sick and that's just badness all around, for you and slayering." gah she's rambling, shut up Willow, shut up, shut up, shut up.

"Alright, do you need anything? I can bring you soup or something."

"Ah, no, No thank you, I picked up everything I needed once I left the doctor. That's why I forgot to call. So yep I'm good, all set to go here. Thanks for offering though." Willow was glad he couldn't see her through the phone she was pulling on her hair, a most definite sign she was lying.

"OK, call if you need anything. Love you."

"Will do, Love you too." and with that, he hung up. Willow felt a pang of guilt hit her, traveling through the vein to hit her most painful memory. Xander only started using 'I love you' with his goodbyes after Jessie, the comparison was simply too close to home.

Willow stood in the quiet kitchen, the phone still in her hand, the dial tone echoing in her ear. She hung up and took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. The pang of guilt from lying to Xander was still fresh, but she had no other choice. She couldn't risk exposing her new reality to them just yet.

Turning away from the phone, she glanced around the kitchen. The familiar space, with its outdated wallpaper and well-worn countertops, felt different now. She moved back towards her room, the shadows of the house enveloping her like a protective shroud.

Willow caught sight of her reflection in a hallway mirror. Or rather, the lack of one. The empty space where her reflection should have been was a stark reminder of her new existence. Turning away, she tried to shake off the eerie feeling of invisibility. It was unsettling, being able to see everything so clearly yet not see herself.

Back in her room, she felt a strange mix of strength and vulnerability. She had always been the dependable one, the reliable friend who others turned to in times of need. Now, she was the one who needed help, but she couldn't bring herself to ask for it. Looking at it from a psychological standpoint, she was the daughter of world-renowned ones after all, she guessed that made sense. She had always looked after herself, she was 7 when her parents started leaving her on her own for the first time, and she was 10 when they started leaving her for months at a time. After that, she would have been lucky to see them more than twice a year. She was perfectly aware that such neglect was a form of abuse. She wasn't stupid, but she also knew what the foster system was truly like, she could already hack their system at that age, and by then she had Jessie and Xander, she didn't want to lose them. So she relied on herself, eventually, she came to enjoy the freedom she had on her own and appreciated it.

She sat down at her desk, her mind racing with thoughts and plans. She needed to understand her new condition fully. How much of her old life could she salvage? How could she coexist with her friends without endangering them? These questions swirled in her mind.

Willow opened her laptop and resumed her research. She was glad now that she had just finished uploading Giles's books into her computer in preparation for him going away. She delved into the dark corners of the internet, looking for anything that might help. She found obscure references to vampires with souls, ancient texts that hinted at methods to control bloodlust, and modern forums discussing ethical blood sources. Each piece of information was a small step towards regaining some semblance of normalcy.

The hours passed in a blur. She experimented with different foods, and coverings in the sun, discovering that while she could still consume human food, it didn't sustain her. Blood was the only thing that truly satisfied her new cravings. The ethical dilemma weighed heavily on her, but she knew she had to find a solution that didn't involve harming others. She also found out that sunscreen worked, to a degree, It felt like she had a huge sunburn wherever the light touched, which was not comfortable, but she also wasn't smoking or going up into flames, so she called that a win. She had to reapply it every 40 minutes and she now hated the smell, but hey at least it would give her the ability to go to class. She also discovered that the curtains she brought home were expensive and the best material for keeping out the sun entirely. Willow was giddy at that revelation because the windows were so tall, she had a lot of material. Willow set about making different outfits for herself using the fabric. She knew how to sew because of the wonderful nanny she had to watch over her when her parents were gone. Nanny Francis, as a child Willow, often thought that the woman was a literal angel but had to keep it a secret, Nana Fran stayed with Willow until the day she died, she was 105 and Willow was 12. By the goddess, Willow missed Nanna Fran, but they were fond memories.

As the sun began to set, casting long shadows across her room, Willow felt a growing sense of resolve. She had a plan. She would continue to experiment over this week to see what she could or could not do, once she had a steady grip on her abilities she could go around just like normal. She was pale enough on a regular day to explain the sunscreen, part of her mother's Irish heritage, add a little makeup and blush, and bam, she looks normal pale. She could order extra from Willies to sustain her, she was always the one to pick up Spike's order after all so no trouble there, and she could still eat in front of her friends, not as much as she usually does but she can. She had outfits and fabric paint to make it her style so her friends wouldn't see that as a drastic change either. Now all she had to do was find out her own limitations and experiment. Her friends would never suspect anything! Perfect. Well, she had to figure out the need to be invited thing. Now that she thought about it, how did she get into her own house? Was it because her parents essentially bought it for appearance's sake so technically it was for Willow? Huh, food for thought.

Just then, her phone rang again. It was Buffy.

"Hey, Willow. Sorry I didn't notice you didn't come home last night, I was with Riley, How are you feeling?" Buffy's voice was warm with concern.

Willow forced herself to sound casual. "Hey, Buff. I'm feeling a bit better. Still kind of out of it, though."

Buffy sounded relieved. "Good to hear. We miss you. Need anything? Want me to drop by?"

"No, no, I'm good. Just resting. I'll be back soon, I promise."

Buffy hesitated. "Alright. Just take care of yourself, okay? We need our Willow back at full strength."

"I will, I promise."

After hanging up, Willow felt the weight of lying pressing down again. She had to remind herself that it was fine, they didn't need to know, she was still their good ol Willow, she just had some new conditions now, personal details that didn't need sharing. It was fine, everyone had their little secrets. The biggest challenge she knew she had would be keeping her demon under control.

Determined, she continued her research late into the night, crafting a plan to keep her new nature hidden and her soul intact. She was Willow Rosenberg, and she would find a way to navigate this darkness, just as she had faced every other challenge in her life.

Hours passed as she scoured the internet, old texts, and anything she could find on managing vampirism with a soul. The information was scarce, but she did find some useful tips. Meditation techniques to control the bloodlust, blood sources that didn't involve harming humans, and spells to help mask her true nature. It was a start.

Finally, she stood up, stretched, and looked out the window. It was night, her new domain, she could feel her senses sharpen and excitement tingle through her bones, It was strange she hadn't realized how tired she was until she felt the sun go down. It probably wouldn't last, she had been up all day and couldn't sleep now. She would probably need a nap later. She gathered her things, and prepared to head out. She needed blood and more information, and perhaps she could find a safe way to procure both.

Willow felt good about her situation now that she had a plan in place, she almost felt like skipping. As long as nothing happened to expose her, Willow was starting to believe that she could get away with it, and everything would turn out just fine.

395 miles away both Cordelia Chase and Angel shot out of bed screaming the same name.