"The Tin Warden" Points of view from Matt, Kitty, and the Tin Warden (aka the badge).

Matt's Thoughts

I open the top drawer of the dresser that sits against one of the walls in the jail. Everyday I grab my Marshal's badge and pin the tin warden on my chest. The badge may only weigh an ounce, but it weighs heavily in my life, most times too heavily. How many times does that damn badge get in the way of things that I want to do? I would love to take Kitty to more sociables and dances. I would love to take her on more vacations. I would love to make her my wife and have a family with her. Believe it or not, I picture her pregnant with my baby. I know without a doubt she would give me beautiful babies. Right now all of that is a distance dream.

Yesterday, because of the tin warden, I had to take a prisoner to Hays City. This prisoner was going to Hays City to face trial for several bank robberies in Ford County. Surprisingly no killings took place during the robberies, so the prisoner was not sentenced to hang. He was sentenced to ten years in prison.

Today, more specifically tonight, I am laying on my bed roll with my saddle under my head for a pillow. On top of me is a thin wool blanket. It is a far cry from Kitty's brass bed. What I wouldn't do to be in that bed with her in my arms. Thinking about it, it's not really the bed I want. It's Kitty. I want her in my arms, breathing in her scent. I would not mind being on the ground of the unforgiven prairie, if she was here with me.

Whenever I leave Dodge City, I always wonder if she will still be there when I return. Will she be there for me or will some man swoop in and take her away from me? I am not talking about some outlaw kidnapping her to get revenge on me. I do worry about that. I am talking about some man giving her the things she wants, things that I cannot give her.

Why do I let this tin warden control my life? I could easily retire and never pin the badge on my shirt again. But what would I do with my life? Yes, I would marry Kitty and start a life with her, but I can't sit around and do nothing. I can't have my wife be the breadwinner of the house. I am proud of what Kitty has accomplished. But as a man, I should be able to support her and a future family. Unfortunately with the few hundred dollars I have to my name, that's impossible.

Kitty's Thoughts

Matt left yesterday for Hays City. I cannot even count the number of times he has made that trip. At least this time his trip did not coincide with a dance or a Ford County Sociable. I know how many of those he has missed. I do not know why I allow myself to keep track of that statistic, but I do. At least with this trip, Matt won't have an extended stay in Hays City. All he has to do is bring a prisoner for a trial. This time Matt won't have to stay for the trial. Matt was not a witness to any of the bank robberies. All he has to do is transport the prisoner.

Before he left, Matt complained about the ride he was going to have to face. The trip to Hays City was his least favorite. It was impossible for Matt to ride to Hays City and back to Dodge City in one day, especially since he usually had some business to do in Hays before he left. Unless it was absolutely necessary, Matt did not want to out ride his horse. Buck was a loyal horse, and Matt refused to do anything that would put that horse at risk.

While I sit at my vanity and remove my hairpins, I can't help but wish that Matt was here helping me with the cumbersome task of removing them. If Matt was here, I would not be sitting at my vanity. The two of us would be on my bed. No, we would be on our bed. I don't think of the bed as mine. I think of it as ours. Matt decided several years ago that he preferred to remove my hairpins while the two of us were on the bed. I sit on the bed, while he kneels behind me and removes the pins. Those hairpins end up in a pile on the nightstand. I always take care of them the next morning.

When he is done removing all the hairpins, he takes my brush and gently pulls it through my long crimson tresses. I love it when he brushes my hair to one side, so he can rain kisses down my neck and shoulder. When he's done raining kisses down one side of my neck and shoulders, he brushes my hair to the other side, so that side of my neck and shoulder can get the same attention.

I have finished taking out my hairpins. I pick up my brass mirror to make sure I did not miss any of them The metal handle in my hands reminds me of a conversation I recently had with Matt. We had been enjoying a private meal in my room, when he confessed that he hated being a prisoner to the piece of tin that he pinned on everyday. He called it the tin warden. I could not help but agree with Matt's description of the badge.

Matt is a prisoner to that piece of tin, but so am I. I don't tell Matt that I'm also a prisoner to the badge. I don't have to tell him. He already knows it. Matt has the power to release himself of the sentence he gave himself when he first pinned the tin warden on his chest. I wish I knew why he won't. I know he loves being a lawman, but I have a feeling it's more than that.

Each time he has to leave me, I wonder if he is going to return to me. I am not worried that he will meet some woman that will use her charms to entice him away from me. I worry that his trips won't go as planned. I fear that there is a bullet out there with his name on it, waiting for him. I won't sleep well until he returns.

The Badge's Thoughts

Yesterday I heard the creak of the wooden drawer open. The light broke through the darkness as a big calloused hand picked me up and pinned me on the soft worn material. There are two tiny holes reserved just for me. After being pinned where I belong, I can hear the strong, steady thumping sound. It's music to my ears. I look forward to that sound everyday.

I have been a major part of Matt Dillon's life for over twelve years. I remember the day he first pinned me on himself. I think I was as proud as he was. I was looking forward to a long career with him, but I was told by other badges not to expect it. Lawmen don't always last too long. They usually get gunned down or decide to retire before that happens. I got lucky. My lawman turned out to be one of the fastest guns in the west. Now, he has been shot on more than one occasion, but that has not deterred him from being a lawman.

For the first year or so that Matt was Marshal of Dodge City, I did not have to compete for his attention. His main focus was being Marshal of Dodge City. He had two friends, Chester Goode and Doc Adams. Matt would do things like go fishing or have a drink with them, but he still kept me pinned to his chest. I have to admit that I enjoy it when he does those things.

However, two years after being the Dodge City Marshal something changed. A woman came into Matt's life. Matt had a rule about getting involved with a woman, marrying her, and having a family. He was against it. He didn't want to leave a woman widowed and any future children without a father. I loved that rule, but I was afraid that this woman that came into Matt's life would change that. If Matt thought a lawman shouldn't marry and have a family, then that meant he could decide to quit being a lawman and unpin me. I was not ready for that.

Matt calls this woman Kitty. When he first met her, she was a saloon girl at the Long Branch. It took me by surprise that Matt would get involved with a saloon girl from the Long Branch, but I was happy that she was a saloon girl. Most often girls like that don't stay in Dodge City for long. Dodge City is just a stop for them on their way out west. From what I had heard, that was Kitty Russell's plan. She was on her way to San Francisco. That was ten years ago.

Kitty is no longer a saloon girl at the Long Branch. She is now the owner of the Long Branch. She has been the owner for eight years. Matt is still involved with her. She is undoubtedly his woman. I hear them talk and have arguments about me. Matt still has his rule about getting married and having a family. Kitty tries to convince him that lawmen can get married and have a family, but Matt won't budge. He can be very stubborn, but I won't complain. That means I remain in his life.

The other day I became a bit anxious. Matt was having dinner with Kitty. Everything was going well, until he called me a tin warden. By the tone of his voice, I knew he was not giving me a compliment. Was he considering resigning as a lawman? We've been together for over twelve years. I'm not ready to depart from each other. I'm not sure when I will be ready, but I know I'm not ready right now.

It's dark, but I know I'm not in the top drawer of the dresser. I am still pinned to Matt's shirt and I can still hear his heartbeat. Except this time, the sound of his heart is slow and steady. Matt's fast asleep. Since he's asleep and I'm still pinned to his shirt, he must be out on the prairie. I wonder when we'll be back in Dodge.

The sound of Matt's heart tells me he's awake. He'll be heading for Dodge. Without a doubt, dawn is still several hours away. Matt likes to get back to Dodge before sunrise so he can stop at Kitty's room. He seems to know exactly when he was to wake up and leave so he can make it there while the town is still fast asleep.

After riding for a couple of hours, we arrive in Dodge City. It's still dark out. The sun won't make its appearance for at least an hour or two. That gives Matt enough time to take care of Buck and stop to see Kitty. Matt walks up the backstairs to Kitty's room and uses his key to unlock her door. He steps inside.

Once inside, he steps out of his boots and removes his coat. It's still dark, but not as dark as it was when he was wearing his coat. Matt places his Stetson on the dresser. Kitty is now awake and walks over to him. Matt gathers her into his arms. I am sandwiched between the heartbeats of two lovers. Kitty pulls away and I no longer hear her heartbeat.

She starts to unbutton Matt's shirt, and when she's finished, he lets it fall to the floor. Because of me, it makes a soft thud as it hits the floor. Sometimes when the shirt falls to the floor, I get buried under the cotton, and all I hear are muffled sounds, but not this time. This time nothing is muffled and I can hear the sound of two lovers pleasuring and loving one another. I try to ignore it.

One day Matt is going to decide that he wants a life with Kitty, a life that does not include me. I try not to dwell on the moment when that time will arrive. I take it one day at a time. I am grateful each day that Matt Dillon pins me on his shirt. I take pride in my job as the tin warden.

The End of "The Tin Badge"