Author's note. Please be aware that I decided to change a few things. Parts of this chapter were made when I wasn't feeling well so certain parts the more I read this were taken out. It felt rushed and I wasn't satisfied with the way it was structured. I've taken them out and they will be used in future chapters for a smoother transition instead.
Chapter Three: This Can't Be Happening
Naruto stirred from his current position, the blond felt like he was coming out of a haze, his body more than a bit sore. More specifically his jaw and his hips. And why did his mouth taste like cotton? The only time he ever felt that way was when he...
"Oh, shit!" he didn't!
"Mmmhmmm," a soft groan was heard, and it didn't come from Naruto.
Naruto raised his head, finding it smothered by two very comfortable pillows that were Michelle's perfect breasts. The former Hokage unintentionally motorboated the two large mounds. Okay, so, this looked bad, Naruto admitted, but that didn't mean that he and Michelle-
"Ohhh!" Michelle moaned as he rose and Naruto felt something tighten around him that it had the blond parrot Michelle's gratification. When it subsided, Naruto looked down, and the jinchuriki discovered why. Both blonds' pelvises were still intimately joined.
"Okay, so, I had sex with an angel," he had no idea how - okay, he knew how, he had sex plenty of times before to be more than familiar with the concept, especially when Hinata became an insatiable minx after they started dating! - or more importantly, why. All Naruto could recall was him and Michelle sparing and then as the minutes passed he began feeling warm and then antsy and then...that was it.
"What happened?" Naruto wondered. Did Michelle cast a spell on him? Something that made him lose his inhibitions? If that were the case, Naruto was less than pleased...okay, given he had sex maybe not. But he would be pissed if Michelle did indeed have a role in causing this.
Sex to Naruto was an act that he only did with those he was close to, and Michelle wasn't one. Not yet anyway. He hardly knew the archangel outside her attempts to get him into her bed and from what he heard of her from others.
"Morning, stud," Michelle greeted saucily.
Oh, shit. Despite his willpower, Naruto found himself hard at the sight of her. Michelle was a physically beautiful being, and her naked form was more than enticing.
"Oooh," Michelle cooed at his reaction, "Come here!"
"Huh?" Naruto found Michelle's legs around his waist, her hand at the back of his head and his eyes widened as she used those limbs to bring him in closer until his lips made contact with Michelle's own; her tongue slipping into his mouth. Naruto wanted to pull back, but confusingly he found himself fighting the archangel's tongue with his own until both pulled back from one another. Their hearts were beating furiously, their faces flush, and their lust mutual.
What the hell was wrong with him?
"I don't know what came over you last night, darling, but fuck if I'm complaining. Though to be honest, I thought you'd be tired after fifty-two hours sexathon."
...Fifty-two hours? Damn! He rocked!
Wait, Naruto, focus! What did Michelle just say? She didn't know what came over him? Naruto counted himself a good judge of character and Michelle didn't appear to be lying. So, if she wasn't the cause, or at least not directly the cause, then what was going on?
"Much as I would love to see if we can break that record. We need to get dressed soon. My uncle's waiting for us," Death was patient but even he had his limits.
"Wait, uncle?" when the Hell did that happen?
"Wow, you really were out of it weren't you?" Michelle laughed. She really did have a beautiful smile when she laughed, Naruto thought.
"Okay, where the fuck did that come-WOAH," Naruto's thoughts were pushed away the moment Michelle pushed him on his back and straddled him.
"So, we'll have to make this quick," Michelle told him, she raised her hips and then brought them down like a sledgehammer. Naruto's senses were ignited once more. And again he wondered why... Ah, screw it! He'd figure it out later. In the meantime, he raised his hips to meet Michelle's.
While this was happening, Charlie sipped on a mug of coffee, her eye twitch was gone, finally. Vaggie on the other hand, had bloodshot eyes, the angel had not slept well in the past two-plus days.
"Fifty-two hours straight...Who the Hell has that kind of stamina?" Vaggie asked no one in particular.
"According to Kurama, someone who made his late wife extremely happy," Husk smirked.
"That was rhetorical!" Vaggie growled at the cat-winged bartender.
"Whoops," the smirk on Husk's face never left. He wasn't sorry.
"All I know is dat if the stud worked for Val, he'd 'ave made the prick happier than Fat Nuggets in shit," Angel told them. And it was true. Any porn star that could last that long would be in the highest demand.
"Can we please not talk about sex for the next little while?" Charlie asked, she fought back the twitch that wanted to make itself known.
"Uh, we're in Hell, toots? What else are we supposed ta talk 'bout?" Angel asked, "Seriously, I got a nothin'. I dunno what else ta talk about."
"Well, for one-"
"Yes, yes, yes, YES, YES! YES! YEEEEEESSSSSS!" Michelle's peak was heard by all.
"...Shit!"
"Cough up," Husk told a pissed Angel. The former porn star began fishing his pockets for what little money he had left. Stupid Naruto. What kind of person had that kind of stamina?
"ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!" Charlie shouted, her eye twitch was back at full force once her mind registered what was happening.
"I'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna go up there and fucking kill him!" Vaggie swore. No way was she going without proper sleep again! Vaggie loved sleep! Sleep was awesome. Sleep was essential for everyone around her unless they wanted to see an angel go on a killing spree.
"Good luck wit dat. You go up there, ya ain't comin' back, Vagina. And it ain't cuz yer joining the fun."
"Either way, I'll get some peace and quiet," and sleep, beautiful dream-filled sleep. Vaggie could just picture it... Huh? Charlie was right, she did drool in her sleep. Go figure.
"Leave them be."
"How is this not bothering you!" Vaggie asked Charlie's great-uncle.
The wolf merely continued to sip his coffee, "When you've lived as long as I have and seen everything I've seen, almost nothing fazes you after a certain point."
Charlie sorely wished she possessed such a trait at the moment. Sadly, she didn't so she decided to do something she rarely did. Desperate times called for even more desperate measures.
Ring!
Ring!
Ring!
"Charlie?"
"Dad, I need your help!" Charlie told him.
"Ha! You pay up!" Angel told Husk, their roles now reversed.
"Shit!"
"Oh, ah, sure sweetie! You name it! Anything in my power is yours for the asking," Lucifer was heard saying.
"Great! I need you to come and convince auntie Michelle to go back to Heaven."
...
"...Dad? You still there?"
"Yeah...that's, uh, that's a big no."
"DAD!" Un-freaking-believeable!
"Sweetie, I love you...but you're aunt scares the panties off me."
"You wear panties?"
"Don't judge! They offer a lot of-wait a minute, who the fuck is this?" Lucifer just realized the voice didn't belong to his daughter.
"Name's Angel Dust. Nice to hear da voice belonging to da big dick in charge," Angel answered.
"Angel, give me back my phone!" Charlie ordered him.
"Hold on! I got one more question. So, Big Dick, got any pics ya can send?"
"ANGEL!"
"Hah!" Angel cackled as he passed the phone back to its owner.
"Thank you," but Charlie wasn't done, "Sic' him, Vaggie."
"With pleasure!" the former exterminator was going to enjoy this immensely. Charlie normally didn't do something like this, but she was tired, cranky and not in the right frame of mind right now.
"Not cool!" Angel ran for his life. A mad, in both senses of the word, fallen angel hot on his trail.
"Sorry, about that, dad," Charlie apologized.
"Was that Angel Dust? Why are you with the porn star?"
"...I'm probably gonna regret asking, but how do you know who he is?"
"Charlie, sweetie...only ask questions you want the answers to, not the ones you don't," Lucifer advised. And as far as advice went, Charlie realized it was actually one of the best he gave her. Which was really sad when she thought about it.
"OH, YEEEES!"
"...What was that?"
Oh, right the reason why she was calling.
"Auntie Michelle," Charlie decided not to beat around the bush.
"And, uh, why is she screaming like that, exactly?"
"Only ask questions you want the answers to, dad," Charlie reminded him
"Charlie!" Lucifer pushed back. Hating having his own words shot back at him.
Well, he pushed for an answer, so Charlie gave him one, "She's having sex...with Naruto."
"...What?" Lucifer thought he heard wrong, "She's doing what?!"
"You heard what I said."
"THAT BLOND PRICK IS SLEEPING WITH MY SISTER!? ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A STROKE!?"
"You asked!" Charlie told him, her father was heard muttering a few things in the background, and she heard the telltale sounds of things being destroyed. And, some... squeaky toys? For the sake of her lingering sanity, Charlie decided she didn't want to know.
"Didn't take it well?" Vaggie asked, Angel was a slippery fucker despite how tall he was.
"Nope," the sounds coming from her phone backing it up.
"Qué sorpresa (What a surprise)."
Lucifer eventually came back to his phone after calming down, "Okay. How long has this been going on!"
"Only the last couple of days. They went fifty-two hours straight and now they're back at it. That's why I'm calling. They're driving me crazy! You need to get her out of here," Charlie's eye twitched again. She was certain it was only a matter of time before it turned into a full-blown stroke.
"..."
"Dad?"
"Fifty-two hours? Respect. Your mom and I could only go thirty-six hours straight. Forty-three if Eve was involved. Hey! I just remembered! That was the night you were conceived! Thanks for reminding me, sweetie!"
Clack!
Thud!
"...Charlie? You still there?"
...
"Sweetie?"
...
"Hellooo?... Hmm, oh, well. Nice talking to you honey!" Click!
Lucifer hung up. The King of Hell was unaware that his daughter had fainted and began foaming at the mouth after what he told his daughter. She wouldn't be calling him back anytime soon. Even when she came to she was incoherent and it took Vaggie quite a while to snap her girlfriend out of it.
And despite Michelle's statement to Naruto, neither left the room until lunch.
So much for a quickie.
(Lunchtime; 180 Days before Extermination Day)
Lunch was awkward, to say the least, evident by Charlie's twitching eye despite trying not to look at Naruto and her positively glowing aunt. Vaggie wasn't exactly pleased either, her eyes reflecting the sleep deprivation that Naruto deduced was more than likely his and Michelle's fault.
Angel was grinning from ear to ear; Husk was pissed at losing his booze money. Kurama was nowhere to be seen, having gone for a walk apparently, but Naruto wasn't worried. The grouchy old bastard could more than handle himself. Niffty was stabbing at any roaches that crawled on the table. Alastor was eating in his room. The Radio Demon was unbothered by what had transpired over the last couple of days thanks to his powers drowning out the sound.
And Pentious, whom Naruto learned was now a resident of the hotel, despite initially being sent to spy on them, was gazing at them with more than a hint of worry and fear. Screwing each other's brains out or not, they were still the Angelslayer and Right Hand of God in his eyes.
Death, on the other hand, was quite civil and sipped from a coffee. When asking Michelle why he looked like a wolf the woman explained how Death could shapeshift from one form to another. Apparently, this wolf-hellhound look was one of his favorites whenever he was in Hell. Hellhounds were looked down upon by many for being a lower class of demon, lower than sinners apparently, and so when many thought him easy prey, Death relished in their fear.
As Michelle put it, 'Uncle D loves the smell of fear. Says it's intoxicating.'
It didn't take a genius to know Death was powerful, Naruto had sensed as such. And he was one of the most powerful entities he ever encountered. And from what he sensed the being's aura was close to that of the Shinigami in terms of feel alone. Similar but different all the same. Naruto was curious about that and guessed it had to do with the fact that since both beings were the embodiment of, well, death, it might be the reason.
"So," Death broke the silence, "When can I expect another sobrina nieta o nieto (great-niece or nephew)?"
Thud!
Charlie's head struck the table.
"...Owie~"
And hurt herself in the process.
"Come on, babe, walk it off," Vaggie comforted
"I'm surprised her aunt can walk," Angel added.
"WAAAHHH!" Charlie wailed as the mental images came flooding back. Damn you Angel!
"WHAT DID I SAY!?" Vaggie reminded.
"Ugh, 'no talkin' 'bout the stud and Michelle fucken' like rabbits for over two days straight,' or any innuendos," Angel parroted.
"...Close enough," he paraphrased the first half but the second was pretty spot on. She'd take it.
"So when's it gonna be my turn?" Angel grinned at him
"When you can beat her in a fight," Naruto pointed at Michelle. In other words: never.
Angel huffed, "Spoilsport."
"Can't deny that he backed up what he said," Husk admitted, still pissed but impressed nonetheless, "Thought you said you weren't interested though?"
"Yeah, wat's with dat?"
"Seriously, guys?!" Vaggie couldn't believe it. Was she invisible here?
"I dunno myself. We were sparing and the next thing I knew, I got hot, antsy, and then after fifty-two hours of sex," he and Michelle high-fived, much to Charlie's chagrin, "I came out of it and found myself naked and in bed with her."
Naruto was still trying to figure that out.
"Don't forget yer mini-marathon," Angel added.
"Angel I swear to God!" Vaggie was very close to grabbing her spear, and finishing what she started. But then she remembered their present company, "Oh, shit, sorry."
"Meh," it didn't bother Michelle.
"Relájate (Relax). Not the first time I've heard others use my brother's name in vain," and he heard a lot worse, too. He was more than used to it at this point, "Speaking of which, is Dios back from his vacation?"
Vacation? God took vacations? That was news.
"Nope. Still haven't heard from him, or know when he'll be back. Can't say I blame him," running Heaven was a serious pain in the ass. She honestly didn't know how her father managed to do it for so long without going insane. Then again, maybe he did given he went on vacation almost two centuries ago.
All she could recall was him saying something about writing a book.
"Back up there. God takes vacations? Is dat allowed?"
"Ever try running an entire universe for eons without any breaks since before there even was one?" God or not, Michelle was pretty sure the old man deserved a break.
"Well, I got fucked fer almost twenty hours straight by different guys. Does dat count?"
"Not even close," there was no real comparison between the two; Michelle was certain Angel was simply bragging.
"Hmm, unfortunate. I was hoping to give him a visit," and when God didn't want to be found, not even the famed reaper of souls could find him, "Ah, well. Onto the matter at hand."
Naruto felt his spin tingle as Death's gaze landed on him. The blond stiffened a bit when Death reached into his black trench coat and Naruto prepared himself. If Death wanted a fight, Naruto wasn't gonna make it easy for him. Living personification of the end of all things or not, Uzumaki Naruto didn't back down from a-wait, a minute was that a clipboard?
"Alright, let's see," next everyone watched as Death took out some reading glasses, "Make my niece happy? Well, those fifty-two hours make that clear. Check!"
The fuck?!
"Powerful? Well, that goes without saying if managed to beat Micaela. Check!"
"Am I in a comedy or something?!" Naruto couldn't believe he was being checked off like cattle.
"Caring towards my niece?" Death looked at the woman in question.
"He was more than attentive towards my needs," Michelle beamed brightly.
"Check!"
Charlie wondered if her father would be okay with his only child committing aunticide whilst she tried as best she could to ignore the comments her great-uncle made whenever he checked off more on his list. The few times she failed in doing this just about made the Princess of Hell lose her lunch and breakfast.
"This is a freaking nightmare," Charlie couldn't believe this was happening. All she wanted to do was create a hotel where sinners came to repent and improve themselves to get into Heaven. This was a far cry from how things were supposed to go. Sure, no plan was perfect, but how the hell did it deviate this far? This wasn't in a hotel anymore, she was living in a damned cuckoo clock!
"Ah, yes, the most important one. Facing Death without fear."
"Pft. I've lost track of how many times I did that," Naruto was half boastful and half serious.
"Really? I don't recall ever meeting you before now," Death told him.
"Come agai-Oh, shit!" Naruto sensed the attack and barely had enough time to summon his Six-Paths Sage Mode to form a Truth-Seeking Ball in the shape of a Bo to block the sickle that came his way.
And even then the blow felt worse than the Fourth Raikage when he he used his Raiton no Yoroi (Lighting Release Armor), and that man's blows made Naruto feel like he was being struck by a mountain. And that was with Naruto using the Nine-Tails Chakra Mode.
"Hmm, good reflexes," Death complimented, "This is gonna be fun!"
Naruto somehow doubted that would be the case...for Death. But he also wasn't one to shy away from a challenge, ever.
"Hold it!"
Both Naruto and Death stopped their charge and looked at Charlie, "Take it outside!" it took her and Vaggie along with Razzle and Dazzle months to get the hotel in its current state. She lacked the funds and magical skill to get it fixed from a fight between two powerful fighters.
"Ah, how discourteous, my dear, allow me," Death brought his sickles down on the ground and scarlet flames suddenly erupted when he swung them forward. The fires circled around him and Naruto in a large round barrier; Death knocked on the flames and those present watched them ripple like water.
"So long as these flames are up, nothing can get in or out. Now we can begin."
"What's going on?" Alastor appeared, having heard the loud commotion.
"Death and Naruto are fighting."
"Oh, well, such a shame I couldn't get to know him better. Best of luck!" Alastor encouraged and then went back to his room.
"Who'd ya think he was talkin' 'bout?"
Husk shrugged. Not really caring, and watched as Naruto and Death met one another head-on.
"HELLO!? YOU'RE STILL IN THE HOTEL!" and now it was on fire. Great! Just great! This place was uninsured!
"Relax, CharChar. Those flames are meant to keep things in. No matter what happens, nothing will get past them. The hotel will be fine regardless of what Uncle D and Naruto do," Michelle comforted her niece.
"Ya do know yer talkin' about da same guy who did the impossible more than once, right?" Angel added. He might not be the brightest bulb but he did observe things.
"...Oh, shit," Michelle conceded to Angel's point, "Maybe back up a bit just in case."
Naruto considered himself a fast individual, and in his time there were few who could keep up with him if he used his Six Path Nine-Tails Sage Mode, or when he absolutely had no choice, Baryon Mode. The latter was his most powerful form but even after decades of training, he could only maintain it for fifteen minutes, twenty if he was really pushing it, but no more than that unless he wanted to pass out for an entire week and feel like total shit when he came to.
But Death was more than able to match his speed, and it was only due to Naruto's intent sensing abilities being enhanced that he was able to anticipate where they were going to strike. The dark grey wolf jumped into the air and kicked off an invisible surface, diving towards him like a hawk. Naruto wisely chose to dodge the blow instead of meeting it head-on and then found himself forced to dodge and block another series of attacks that came his way.
"Okay, so, this chakra mode's not enough," time for an upgrade!
Naruto's chakra cloak shifted once more and while it remained almost the same as before, the power shift was noticeable, as were the irises in his eyes that shifted from pure fox-like ones to becoming a cross when horizontal ones overlapped with the vertical marks.
When Death brought down his sickles once more, Naruto blocked it and delivered a counter too fast for Death to properly block. Death went flying from a kick to the face but was able to right himself just before he landed.
"Bien. Muy, bien," Death was right in his previous assessment. This was fun! And just for that, he decided to do something special. Both sickles we joined together at the handle and then extended into a large double-ended scythe that Death expertly twirled around before going back into the fray.
"Dat it? You'd figure he do betta than dis," Angel commented.
"Believe it or not, Naruto's doing quite better than I anticipated," Michelle defended.
"Yer kiddin'?"
"I'd have lost already," of the Four Horsemen, Death was not only their leader but the most powerful of them. War was second and Famine and Pestilence were tied for last.
Michelle had beaten the last two fairly easily. War she also won against but that wasn't an easy fight to come out as the victor. War was a crazy bitch. But Death? Michelle had never been successful in defeating her uncle despite her training and no matter what strategy she came up with.
Death was the oldest of the Four Horsemen, with the other three not coming into being until centuries after Lucifer and Lilith were banished into Hell. These beings weren't angels, despite the Horsemen being closely tied to Heaven, mostly God, but a physical embodiment of some of the worst disasters that befell humanity. Death was different, he was a primordial that represented the end of all things, a being that existed at the same time as God, the being that represented life.
And right now, said embodiment of the end of all things was finding himself pushed back despite deciding to cut loose. Well, not completely. If he did everyone in the room and then some would be dead from his aura alone. Oh, sure he could bring them back, a perk of being who he was, but that wasn't the point.
The last time he went all out had been when he and his brother got into an argument that got physical. It resulted in the Big Bang. People often believed only Dios had a role in creating the universe. Well, it took two to tango, as the saying went.
And his current tango with the demon that caught his niece's eye was something to behold. Death couldn't remember the last time he had to push himself without going too far without fear of destroying the planet. Right now, Death was using about a little less than fifteen percent of his full might. At best, he could use up to twenty-five percent, any further than that and the negative effects of his power would start manifesting in his surroundings. And even then, one wrong move on Death's part and he could accidentally slice the planet in half.
But Death wasn't about to let some former mortal one-up him. He was Death the Destroyer of Worlds. And he was going to show his niece's los querido (lover) that Death wasn't one to be easily defeat-
"Bisaigeki (Tail-Breaker)!" Death found his limbs and torso bound and wrapped tight by Naruto's tails. Or, more specifically, a clone of his using a less powerful variant of the chakra cloak. For only the original can access the Six Paths Sage Mode.
"Holy fuck! There's two of 'em!"
"Did you forget the fight he had on Extermination Day?"
"Ya mean dat wasn't him just blowin' himself up?"
"You're a fucking idiot, you know that?" Husk told Angel.
Death flexed his power and the clone dispersed within seconds. But it was all Naruto needed to land a hit, "Cho Odama Daimao Rasengan (Ultra Big-Ball Great Demon King Spiraling Sphere)!"
Talk about a mouthful.
The ball struck Death's torso and while it wasn't agony, it stung like nothing he even felt before. The humanoid wolf was sent flying and crashing through the wall of scarlet flames and the hotel wall too. The hotel's walls couldn't catch a break. And with Death no longer in the vicinity, the wall of flames that surrounded Naruto faded away, leaving not even a scorch mark. Charlie was thankful for that but remained upset by the damage done to the wall. They just had it fixed!
"Por qué diablos fui a jugar con mi comida?!" Death was heard shouting.
"What did he ssssssay?" Pentious hissed.
"He was wondering why the hell he was playing with his food," Vaggie translated.
"Wait, does dis mean 'is stronger than Death?" Angel Dust was having trouble understanding how that was possible.
"Guess so," Husk was having trouble understanding it, too.
Hazbin Hotel's resident twelve-winged angel made her pleasure known, "I'm so freaking hot rig-Hmmhmm!"
Michelle found Naruto's lips on hers and his tongue forcing his way inside her mouth. The short-haired blonde woman found her ass being grabbed and lifted to Naruto's waist. She wasted no time wrapping her legs around him as their tongues danced with one another while they gave into their desire.
When they broke apart, Michelle was flush and eager to commence here and now, uncaring if they traumatized her niece and her girlfriend further. And then Naruto's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell backwards, taking Michelle with him.
Shit! So much for mind-shattering sex. But more importantly.
"Darling!" Michelle got off the blond and inspected him for any injuries but found nothing out of sorts. Naruto was still out though.
Wham! And now Death was back.
"De acuredo, pequeño mierda! No más tonterí...qué pasó? (All right, you little shit! No more fooli... what happened?" Death assessed their fight would need to wait. Pity, he hadn't had a decent workout in a while.
"He just passed out," Charlie informed her great-uncle.
"After 'im and yer niece got all hot an' heavy," Angel added. Charlie gave him a look, "Wat? No innuendo. It's wat happened."
Despite how crude it sounded, Charlie realized that Angel was being sincere and truly meant nothing by it for once. The white furred spider demon was actually genuinely worried for the blond fox-like demon.
"Move!" Death ordered and approached his dead to the world opponent. Death he was but he had other abilities outside of, well, death. The wolf placed his furred hand on Naruto's chest and after about a minute he rose, "So, that's it."
"What's wrong with him?"
"Hell."
"What?"
"It's not something that can be cured, miha. The boy's new to Hell and how someone reacts to being here varies. It's the energy Hell gives off. hellborn and angels are immune to its effects, as are most sinners. Humans can't stand it and go insane or die if they're lucky. Others, like your prince charming here, can be affected by that energy. Think of it as an allergic reaction."
"He's been here for three weeks. Why's it only affecting him now?"
Death shrugged, "Who can say? Maybe it took time to take effect due to how powerful he is. Or maybe his willpower allowed him to fight off the effects before he finally reached the breaking point? I can only speculate. I'm Death, not a doctor. What I am curious about is why it's affecting him this way. Every case of such an affliction causes affects their more aggressive emotions: anger, rage, hate."
"I know the reason."
"Kurama?" Charlie looked at the returned Biju, "You know what's wrong with Naruto?"
"More of a hunch. I sensed something was happening so I came running. The brat has a unique ability, one that allows him to sense the emotions and intent of others," initially it was only usable through Chakra Mode but over time the skill bled over to the point that it was no longer necessary and became a passive skill.
"Hmm, it wouldn't be enough just for that. I mean, it would play a factor, but not this intensely."
"What about if he can absorb the ambient energy around him?" Kurama added.
"He can do that? Well, if that's the case that would most definitely do it. If a new sinner possesses that kind of ability then they would be strongly affected compared to others."
"Okay, but again, why's it only happening now?" Charlie asked.
"Because of me. When I'm inside the brat I act as a buffer. I'm like an anti-body. You said this place gives off an energy that can affect some. Well, I have the same ability but to me this is nothing, I've dealt with it my entire life, but to the kid? It's messing with him. Without me inside him, it's affecting his impulses."
"So, the reason he fucked Auntie M. here is cuz Hell's screwing with his mind? Cuz the stud said he wasn't interested, and, uh, well, ya know?"
Well, that upset the archangel.
"Not exactly. It's not a case of Hell giving him feelings. It's more a case of ...uh, how do a phrase it? Ah, more like it he is giving in to his impulses more readily and freely."
"So, in other words, Naruto has feelings for Michelle but doesn't act on them but because of Hell's energy he is?"
"Don't know if I'd call them full-fledged feelings, but they are there and without me inside him-"
"Ya know how dat sounds, right?"
Kurama ignored Angel, he'd maul the shorter demon later, "-those emotions are becoming amplified and he's not as in control as he'd like to be. He's aware of what he's doing but at the same time doesn't know the why. Those feelings are all things that are already there inside him, to begin with, but locked behind closed doors. Hell's just opening the door and making him embrace those emotions more freely and more-"
"More like a demon, than a human," Michelle added.
"Exactly," it reminded Kurama of when Naruto first began accessing higher levels of his chakra. In this case, instead of said energy making him give in to his rage and anger, Naruto was giving into his more... primal-fueled passionate side.
"...So, what you're saying is, regardless of Hell's energy, he does want to have sex with me?"
"That's what you took out of this?!" Vaggie couldn't believe this. And she thought Adam was bad.
"The brat wants to bonk your brains out big time, yeah. Hell's just giving him to kick in the ass to go through with it," Kurama guessed that would be the simplified version of it.
"I'll take it!" if those feelings Naruto had were already there, then it meant they could turn into something more down the line.
"Pretty sure ya already took it," Angel snarked.
"Oh, Hell, no! Listen here you-"
"No, you listen, One-Eye!" Michelle towered over Vaggie and stopped her rant, "Do you know how big the dating pool is for an archangel? It's pretty non-existent. My sex life is non-existent. I hit the fucking jackpot with Mr. Three-Legs here, I am not about to let that go to waste! So, I don't care if you go nuts. I've been pent up for countless centuries. Sexually and martially. I'm staying and I'm getting me some good, hard, never-ending fucking and fighting! Got it!"
Michelle's brief but intense flare of her power had Vaggie nodding, not that she had any choice. Vaggie was a fallen angel, a tough one, but Michelle wasn't called the fucking Right Hand of God and Heaven's Strongest Fighter simply because she was the eldest of the archangels. The woman earned those titles. It was like comparing an ant to a human's boot.
"Glad we had this talk," Michelle smiled.
"He's got three legs? I don't see three legs. Was it cut off? Did I miss it?" Niffty asked.
"She means his-" Angel found an angelic spear at his throat.
"Not. a. word," Vaggie ordered. To her dismay, he kept his mouth shut. Shit! And she was so looking forward to stabbing him.
"Will Naruto be fine?" Charlie asked, concerned despite the trouble, and trauma, both Naruto and her aunt put her through.
"I'll just go back in him, and act like a buffer once more," which sucked as Kurama liked walking brat was lucky he liked him.
"That I would not recommend," Death announced, "The boy's going to have to get used to Hell's effects and he'll adjust over time. This will pass eventually. You going back inside that seal of his will only be detrimental in the long run."
"You knew?"
"I'm Death. Like I said, when you've been around as long as I have, you know things and few things faze you. But I'd like to speak with you in private, Zorro."
Kurama blinked and looked to Vaggie to translate.
"It means fox."
"Of course it does," Kurama thought but wondered how Death knew what his true form looked like, "Sorry, kid, but you're on your own with this one."
As Michelle took Naruto to his room and the rest went about their daily activities, Kurama moved away from the group and began speaking with Death in a more secluded area, "Alright, spill."
"That seal he has...it has echoes of my power, or more accurately, of a being similar to myself. Which, cannot be as I've never met either of you, and I am the only God of Death in existence," many religions and mythologies had claimed other gods of death but that was actually Death in different forms. Death didn't belong to any particular religion or myth, but he was remembered by them in one fashion or another.
Kurama was a bit unnerved by those revelations, "How can you be sure?"
"I'm older than the universe itself. I've seen it all and will continue to do so for countless years to come.
"Ever had 'fun' every now and then? Leave behind a gift, so to speak?" Kurama asked.
"I have," Death wouldn't deny the fact he had sex. Sex was awesome, "But I am unable to sire heirs. I have power over souls and death, and imbue others with a tiny portion of my power to assist me. But creating life? That is a power I lack. As a consequence of my mantle, I cannot leave an heir of my bloodline. I can choose one to inherit that mantle if I desire to retire, but that's it."
"You sure?"
Death had a pensive look, "Regrettably. But I came to terms with it long ago."
Kurama sensed no lies from Death, but it also left him with questions, "Fine. Say you're right, what's your theory?"
At that Death chuckled, "If I'm right, and I'm pretty sure I am, you two caballeros are a very long way from home."
Fuck! Kurama suspected it to be the case, but this confirmed it. Oh, boy. The brat wasn't gonna be thrilled. But it begged the question.
Why?
A few hours had passed before Naruto awoke once more, the haze finally wearing off and allowing him to think more clearly. Which was good in the yoko's opinion because Kurama had a lot to explain and the Biju believed in the tried and true method of getting it done and over with quickly. Beating around the bush wasn't going to do them any good here. It had taken some time explaining but Kurama believed he covered it well. That said, Naruto was his friend and wanted to know how he was feeling.
"You okay, brat?" Kurama asked, having finished telling Naruto what he learned.
"...Hah...It's... a lot to take in. You sure he wasn't lying?" Naruto couldn't help but ask. But on the inside, he already knew the answer.
"Pretty sure, Naruto," well, that cinches it. Naruto knew Kurama well enough that the Biju wouldn't have called him by his first name otherwise, "Don't know why either before you ask. Or how we get back, too. We're stuck for the time being."
Space-time travel wasn't exactly the strongest Biju's forte, nor was it Naruto's either. Neither of them had bothered with it.
"Wouldn't be the first time we found ourselves in a bind."
"You're taking this quite well. Then again, you've come a long with from the brat I knew over a century ago."
"I mean, I'm pissed, but it's not like I'm in any rush to get home. The world's been at peace for over a century and the old gang's been gone for a long time now. The only ones left are Orochimaru and Tsunade-baachan and that's due to their respective techniques and Hashirama's cells. Tsunade left Konoha well before Hinata passed, and Orochimaru turned over a new leaf so I'm not worried about him," the woman had returned for Hinata's funeral and stayed with Naruto for a few months before she left Konoha once again for who knows where. She visited from time to time, but the durations much like her visits were random.
Sure, Naruto had half expected to meet his friends and family all once more when he felt his time coming to an end, but something or someone clearly had other plans for him. Why else were they here?
"Well, glad to hear it," Kurama knew from experience when Naruto was lying. This wasn't it. Certainly, it might have been different if he were still alive and he had been forcibly taken away from them, but Naruto had died of natural causes, and his old friends had long since perished. Kurama was certain Naruto would have liked to see them once more, but the brat still had an adventurous spirit in him despite his age.
"So, about you and Michelle."
"Ugh, I don't wanna talk about it," Naruto felt a headache coming on.
Kurama wasn't having it, "Brat-"
"Okay, fine! I'll admit she's hot and having sex with her is awesome. I do have some...desires for her, even before we had mind-blowing sex," if Hinata was hearing this, no offence was meant, sweetie!
"But?"
"Sex is something you should do with someone you care about. At least that's my opinion," Naruto told the Saigai no Ryokō (Travelling Calamity).
"Pretty sure ya do, brat. If you didn't, I'm certain you wouldn't have gone after Michelle to console her otherwise, right?"
Damn it, Kurama! Damn him and his logic!
"Look, I ain't an expert on human emotions. I'm not one. I like keeping my life simple. Sleep, eat, sex, maybe go for a walk now and then, maybe a good fight, too, rinse and repeat. But you know how this works. Spend time with her, get to know her, and see what she's really like. If it works out, then you have a fine piece of ass you can tap whenever ya want!" Naruto was starting to prefer the old Kurama who hated his guts. At least then the damn fox wouldn't be making these kinds of comments, "If it doesn't ...Well, pretty sure she's not gonna take no for an answer anyway. She's stubborn, like you."
Oh, that sounded wrong on so many levels, "You know how that sounds, right? Do I look like a freaking narcissist?"
"Ya really gonna go there, brat? I saw what you and your wife did, remember?" Kurama smirked evilly.
"Hey! We were drunk! And I told you to never speak of that night ever again!" drunk or not, it hadn't been one of his or Hinata's better moments. Nor was it a moment he wanted to remember either. He felt dirty even when he was speaking of it abstrusely.
"I'm just saying, give her a chance kid. Pretty sure Hinata would want you to be happy," Naruto had to agree with Kurama on that. Hinata, bless her heart, would want him to be happy, and vice versa, "and it's not like you're gonna be dying from old age any time soon. You're immortal here, remember?"
"Immortal or not, I'm not looking to get hitched, Kurama," not anytime soon anyway.
"Not saying you should. Besides, you're a demon now. Concepts of monogamy mean shit to us."
"I might be a demon but I was still human for the longest time," sure, Naruto had fantasized about what that would have been like to be with more than one woman at the same time. What hot-blooded male didn't at one point or another? But fantasy and reality were two completely different things. And Naruto had long since matured above such things.
As if he were reading Naruto's mind, Kurama suddenly said, "Carmilla and Michelle on top of one another naked."
Naruto couldn't stop his mind from going into the gutter when the image formed. It was quite the sight. Ooh, they were making o-"DAMN IT KURAMA!"
The Biju's mad cackle was heard throughout the entire hotel alongside Naruto's pissed-off screams.
XxXxX
As Naruto walked down the stairs to the lobby by himself, Kurama had since left to parts unknown, Death too had left for business, and the blond looked to see Charlie and the other hotel residents doing some form of exercise. Michelle he saw was watching from the side with what looked to be some egg-looking demons, she was holding up a video camera and biting her lower lip. Naruto knew that look. Michelle was trying not to laugh.
"Okay, everyone! Now, with a new resident, I think it's important we all get to know each other! So we are going to play a little game. Everyone, follow me. My name is Charlie. I like to sing! And when we get to know each other it's the greatest thing!" at each end of the sentence she clapped her hands twice.
Oh, man, this kid needed help.
"Pentious, you're next," Charlie told him.
"My name's Sir Pentious. I like to build. And despite my stupid Egg Boiz, I think I'm very skilled!" Pentious mimicked.
"Way to go, boss!"
"Very well done!"
"Super-duper!"
"It was? I thought it was horrible?"
"Who ssssaid that?! What you just ssssay to me you fried chicken fetusesss! Sssspeak up!" Pentious hissed at his minions.
What the hell was this? A freaking daycare centre! This was one of the most juvenile things Naruto ever witnessed.
"Good job, Pentious! Maybe try not to threaten anyone when they, uh, critique you. Angel?"
Naruto wasn't surprised by Angel's response, "Dis is stupid."
"This is not stupid!" Charlie clapped twice once.
"Gonna have to agree with Angel," the group looked up to see Naruto walk down the stairs
"Thank you, stud-muffin! I'm outta here!"
"Park it you!" Naruto ordered, and Angel listened, "Don't get me wrong Charlie, your goal to try and redeem sinners is a noble one."
"Thank you!" Charlie was feeling pretty proud.
"But your execution stinks," and now Charlie was feeling less proud, "These guys are grown-ass adults and you're treating them like kids. How are you gonna expect anyone to take your project seriously if they see this?"
"That's...um...uh...hmm...Oh! I have another exercise we can try instead!" Charlie declared.
"Great! Can't be any worse than dis," Angel commented.
XxXxX
"I was wrong. This is worse," Angel Dust couldn't believe the shit he had to put up with for free rent. The spider-demon was wearing a trench coat and a hat like a typical classic gangster from the 1920s. Pentious on the other hand was dressed up like a typical innocent school child, giant swirling lollipop and all.
"Oh, I'm a bad man on the streets who never got enough hugs, now, where's an innocent kid I can sell crack to?... Wow, who wrote this?"
"It's great, right? Keep going!" Charlie told him; Angel didn't need to guess.
"Hey ... you," Angel said.
"Who, me?" Pentious asked innocently.
"Yeah, you look like a kid who could use some… devil's dandruff?" Oh, for Christ's sake.
"Not me! I have to go home and study!"
"Come on kid, it'll make you cool like me …the crackhead. Seriously!?"
"Stay in character!" Charlie ordered; Michelle was shaking with laughter and Naruto wasn't far off. This was horrible but freaking hilarious.
"The only cool thing here is to say no to drugs! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to not have sexual intercourse before marriage!"
"BWAHAHAHHAHAHA!" neither Naruto nor Michelle could hold it in any longer, "Stop! Please, my sides hurt!"
"Fuck dis shit! I'm outta here!"
"That wassss appalling!" Pentious never felt more humiliated in his entire life.
"Why'd ya take to it so well then?" Angel couldn't help but remark.
"Sir Pentioussss doesn't do any half-assssssed jobs!" the inventor declared.
"Yeah, well, I wouldn't wipe my ass wit dis shit!"
"Hey! There was nothing wrong with my script!"
"No offence doll, but there are a few fuck ups in dis script!"
"Name one."
"Uh, da sex thing? Did ya fugget what Auntie M told us?"
...Oh, right.
"Wait, what's thisss?"
"'Bout three-fifths 'o Heaven have fucked before hitching. Go figure," Angel explained.
"Really! But, isn't that, a sin or something or other?" Pentious asked.
"Don't look at me," Michelle said.
"You're the Right Hand of God. Aren't you supposed to know this stuff?" Vaggie asked as though she was stating the obvious.
"Urielle's the one in charge of knowing all of Heaven's rules. I just make sure it's safe and do the cooking."
"Cooking?" Heaven's Greatest Warrior cooked?
Ding-dong!
"Okay, seriously, when did we get a doorbell?" Charlie asked while Vaggie went and opened the door to find a giant laser pointed at her face. Fortunately, the weapon was neither primed nor charged and was merely being rolled in by Pentious' egg-like minions.
"Here's your whatever it is Mr. Boss Man!"
"About damn time, Frank!"
"We have names?" one of the minions asked.
"Uh, Pentious, what is this?" Charlie was concerned; Vaggie was pissed.
"It's my new invention, the Ssssskin Flayer 11,000! Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to finish it before my last fight with Alastor. I'm really looking forward to sssshooting the other residents once it's done!"
"What? Why?"
"Everyone is being too nice. Obviously, it must be a lie. I can ssssense that they are planning to kill me, but when? How? I must be prepared! Ooh, the new parts of my machine are here. Right thisssss way ladies," Pentious instructed the delivery girls.
"Sign, please," one of them said. It was a voice Naruto recognized.
"Blanca?"
Both of Carmilla's daughters turned and had opposing reactions. Blanca was unnerved and ready to bolt, Ana began to bolt too. But in this case, it was in Naruto's chest.
"Naruto!" Ana hugged the blond who rubbed the girl's head.
"How you been kid?" Ana punched in the arm in response.
"Cabron! You never called! You'd better have a good reason."
"I don't have a phone?"
"...Seriously?" the all-mighty Angelslayer lacked a phone?
"Hey, I only got here a few weeks ago!"
"...You're a sinner?" Blanca was highly skeptical for many reasons.
"Badass!" Ana didn't care.
"Uh, hello, my order?"
"Oh, right. Thank you for choosing Carmine's as your number-one arms dealer. We hope you enjoy your purchase."
"Hold up! Carmine? As in Carmilla Carmine the overlord? Are you fucking kidding me?"
"What? She's the top weapons dealer in Hell? Of course, I'd buy from her," Pentious told Vaggie.
"How's your mom doing by the way?" Naruto asked. The casual reveal of Naruto knowing the overlord caused Vaggie's brain to shut down.
"She's good. Bit pissed when she saw what you did had an archangel come down and nearly rapture us but when you kicked that bitch's ass-"
"Excuse me?" Michelle did not just hear that.
"...Who's the old broad?"
Oh, shit! Everyone in the hotel but Naruto, Ana and Blanca backed away. All of them were ready to duck and cover, and in Naruto's case pull Ana's ass out of the fire if it got ugly. Michelle stood up, walked over like a predator stalking its prey, and then proceeded to grab and lift the daughter of Carmilla Carmine as one would a puppy.
"Hey! What's your problem, you old crone?" Ana squirmed.
Michelle simply smiled and then proceeded to unfurl her twelve wings for all to see. Blanca fainted and Ana was shaking instead of squirming, the woman then did something none expected. She proceeded to put the demoness across her leg and started spanking her like an unruly child.
Slap!
"Did you just spank me?"
Slap!
"Ow! Stop that!"
Slap!
"Hey!"
Slap!
"Ugh."
Slap!
"Uhmm!"
Slap!
"W-wai-"
Slap!
"Oh, God!"
Slap!
Slap!
Slap!
Slap!
"YES!" Ana covered her mouth when she realized what she just said for the whole world to hear.
Slap!
"Oh!" Ana moaned.
"Okay, that's enough. Pretty sure the kid's learned her lesson," that and Naruto didn't want to start jumping someone's bones for all to see if he got too turned on.
"Fine. Run along little devil...What's this?" Michelle had been given a card.
"Call me," Ana told the archangel, the girl was blushing, and kissed a stunned Michelle's cheek before she proceeded to grab her dead to the world sister and left the hotel.
"...What just happened?" Michelle was bewildered.
"Pretty sure you just got asked out," Naruto grinned, "Ever gone on a date with another woman?"
"...Well, I did take part in a Roman orgy way back when, so I'm not that unfamiliar with the concept. I mean, when in Rome," Michelle revealed. Naruto and a few others thought that was hot, "Actually, there was this one girl who could-
"LALALALALALALA!" Charlie did not want to hear this.
"Sorry! I almost forgot! Naruto, mom said if either of us ever met again to tell you she wants to talk to you. Here, you'll find her at this address. If you can make it tomorrow all the better," Ana informed him.
"Thanks," it wasn't like he had much going on at the moment anyway. His cash reserves were pretty much depleted. He wondered if Hell had any jobs for former ninjas?
"By the way."
"Hmm?" Ana jumped and Naruto instinctively grabbed her. It allowed Ana to wrap her legs around his waist and wrap her arms around his head to bring him in for a searing kiss. Unlike Michelle, Ana didn't use her tongue. Oh, damn!
"Ooh, big boy, aren't you," Ana purred, patting Naruto Jr when he made himself known, "Mmm. Very big."
Think unsexy thoughts! Think unsexy thoughts!
"Need help with that," Ana whispered.
Oh, shit! Mayday! Mayday!
"You need to go!" Naruto exclaimed, bringing the affectionate demoness off him. Which was an effort unto itself given the present circumstances.
"Tease! Well, you know where to find me," Ana had a sultry look and blew Naruto a kiss, and walked away with her hips swaying tantalizingly. That alone had Naruto fight back the urge to take the dark-skinned demon upstairs and ruin other men for her. Fortunately, for him, she left and Naruto was able to calm himself down.
"Still need help with that?" Michelle pressed her bosom between his head and pressed her hand to his crotch.
All Naruto could recall after that comment was putting Michelle over his shoulder before the more logical part of his mind realized he was once again in bed with the archangel. Charlie would no doubt give him and Michelle the evil eye for the remainder of the next day when he fully came to his senses.
God damn it!
(Sometime Earlier In Heaven)
"Sera, have you seen Michelle lately?"
"Emily, please don't forget to address her as Lady Michelle. And no," Sera told her junior bubbly seraphim.
"Aw, she said she was gonna teach me some kickboxing! Hiyawoooaaaah!" Emily tripped as she tried performing a move like an action hero.
"I can see why you asked for help," Sera laughed good naturely.
"Hey! Don't make fun!" Emily pouted like a child, "So, where is she?"
"She's...on a diplomatic mission," Sera said tactfully.
"...You could have just said she was in Hell, Sera," it wasn't like Heaven went anywhere else as far as Emily knew, "Family visit?"
"If only," Sera muttered.
Sera hoped that Michelle was trying to convince her fallen brother to hand over the one that destroyed part of Heaven. Much of it was already repaired but the fact that a demon did this did not sit well with the High Seraphim. Adam didn't want to hear it but given he was God's Favorite and the perks that came with it his massive ego more often than not overrode his other senses. The army was nowhere near capable of what it once was nor the size and even if the Angelslayer as he was called wasn't in Hell the size of the current army wouldn't have the same impact as before. A five-year break would be ideal to replenish those numbers, but by then Hell would be ready to burst. Millions of people died on Earth each year, with almost seventy percent of them going to Hell according to the readings. It was the only reason she had authorization to use the leviathans, loathed as was to use those despicable creatures. She was caught between a rock and a hard place.
"Lady Urielle!" Sera was torn from her musings and watched as a glass-wearing, haggard-looking insomniac archangel with long blond hair appeared before them, a floating coffee pot following behind her. The archangel was taller than Emily but shorter than Sera, nowhere as tall as her eldest sibling. And Urielle had definitely seen better days.
"Okay, where is she?!" Urielle asked, grabbing the coffee pot and drinking straight from it.
"Uh, who?"
"My blonde bimbo of a sister! Oh, sure, leave Urielle to run Heaven. it's no big deal. She can handle it. FUCK THAT! Sorry! Sorry. That wasn't meant for you. I haven't slept for days. So, I'm just a little wired, you know!"
"Hehehe he...yeah," Emily was a little nervous right now, "I'm looking for her too."
"Tch. Figures the bitch ran off. I just learned the paperwork she supposedly completed was stashed away in her closet. I need that shit done and I need her signature!" Archangel Urielle she might be, and the Pencil-Pusher of Heaven as she was called, but Michelle liked to downplay much of her responsibilities.
Michelle was the Right-Hand of God for a reason. Urielle could enforce certain rules and requests but with dad gone, Michelle and Gabriel were the ones with the authority to make them legit. Gabriel liked to disappear from time to time, and he was ten times more difficult to locate by comparison.
"Sera said she's in Hell," Emily told the stressed archangel.
"Still? Oh, for fuck sakes," Urielle muttered a slew of curses one wouldn't expect to come from an archangel, "Where's that damn blasted...Aha!" Urielle fished out the Universal Remote.
"Why do you have a large purple rubber phallus in your pocket?" a confused Emily asked.
"What? This isn't...Oh, shit..." Urielle just realized her glasses had fallen off her face, and she was indeed not holding the Universal Remote.
"Why does it say 'Thanos' on it?" did the name have a significant meaning, Emily wondered.
"Ignore that!"
Sera palmed her face, embarrassed by the scene. She said it before she'd say it again, 'archangels were an odd bunch'.
"Aha! Here we go. Okay, let's see, Hell, Hell, Hell, found it!" Urielle pressed a button and watched as a screen popped up to show Hell in all its misery. The drone was specially made and none but the angels could see them, "Okay, found a reading!"
Urielle, Sera and Emily watched as the drone flew through the air towards its destination. What a tired and mentally drained Urielle forgot was that despite being in Hell, there were actually two archangels, Lucifer and Michelle. And the sight the drone came upon was not what they expected.
"Is that Lucifer?" Emily asked, "...He's short?"
"He is but a massive pain in the ass," Urielle added, "Looks like he's building something."
"A weapon?" Sera was worried.
"That's it... Almost there... Now presenting... the magic-tastical back-flipping rubber duck! Haha!"
...
...
"Aw, it's cute," Emily smiled. The other two angels couldn't believe what they were seeing. This was the King of Hell? Sad.
"That spits fire!" the angels watched as the seemingly harmless bath toy began spewing flames from its mouth. Okay, that made more sense in the older angels' minds.
Okay, not so cute now, Emily thought.
"Hoo hoo hoo! Hold the applause please, okay. Oh, thank you, thank you...Oh God, who am I kidding? This sucks!"
"Is he okay?" Emily asked.
"I heard Lucifer didn't take his separation from Lilith very well, but I didn't know it was this bad," Sera stated. She almost felt bad for the fallen angel.
"Yeah, yeah, Luci's nuts. Don't care. Moving on! Stupid machine...Okay, here we go," if the drone went elsewhere she didn't want Urielle would smite the Hell out of it. Fortunately, the drone arrived at what appeared to be a hotel and the machine flew until it stopped at a window. And the sight that popped on the screen wasn't what they expected.
"...Why are Michelle's legs' behind her hea-Hey!" Emily's vision was blocked by red-faced Sera, the tall Seraphim's visage was one of disbelief and shame. Why in the world would Lady Michelle-Oh, wow, he was quite the gifted specimen! NO! Bad Sera! No impure thoughts!
"Oh, harder! Yes, yes, yes! Eep! What are you-ooh, never mind! Don't stop!"
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!" Urielle bellowed, unable to believe it, "I'm running all of Heaven by myself and she's gone to get her rocks off! Oh, that bitch is gonna get it!"
"What's get your rocks off mean?"
Despite Urielle being higher up in the chain of command, Sera gave the archangel a pointed look.
"...Sorry."
"You're not the one who's going to have to explain all this to her," Sera wasn't looking forward to that conversation.
"Kage Bunshin!"
Both Urielle and Sera looked on in disbelief as a clone of the Angelslayer appeared behind Michelle and then proceeded to...Well, it was a scene neither of them would forget any time soon.
Author's Note: Please note that it has come to my attention that Carmilla's daughters' names are actually Odette and Clara. I didn't know at the time but given they were very minor characters I didn't think it was that big a deal. That said, I will be keeping their current names.
Onto other news. First, Helluva Boss will only have a minor role. Second, I'm gonna be taking a small break as FFVII Rebirth is coming out this Thursday and I've been dying to play it. Like I said before, kindly review to show your love, and please let me know what you did and didn't like. The last chapter got 85+ and I am hoping for an encore. If I get at least 65-75 reviews, I will attempt to post the next chapter much sooner.