Chapter Twelve:

The First Meatball

SMG4 didn't sing that much, but when he sang, he was good, and the kids were in for quite the treat with the number that their show's host was treating them to:

"He's a dumbass, a dumbass.

"We gotta find his stupid meatballs.

"Whoop de frickin do.

"I'm sick of solving problems for this dumbass, dumbass.

"Ooooh, one of these days, I'll sneak attack and snap his little Italian neck!

"Buuuuut, in the interim, I gotta put up with him.

"But one of these days, I'm gonna put him down."

Mario really didn't take kindly to the song, and protested near the end. Dogs had feelings as much as humans did, and obviously, they wouldn't like the idea that their owners would kill them. The mustached Italian dog was no exception, even though he was half-human head.

He was just about to leave as SMG4 finished his song, but the blue-clad host got his attention when he said, "Come on, let's go see who ate my dumbass dog's spaghetti."

Everyone followed the blue cap-wearing host into the kitchen, with Mario accompanying him despite his hurt feelings after that questionable song. SMG4 opened the fridge and his dog sniffed around, all while the smooth-faced Mario's Mysteries host looked inside for a clue relating to his pet's missing spaghetti.

"Hmmm..." SMG4 murmured, "No spaghetti in here, which means someone must have eaten it."

Mario was wide-eyed with surprise.

"Hey, guys! Over here!" Someone called.

That someone was Luigi the Meat Mallet, half-Italian man, half-meat mallet. SMG4 happily introduced the guests to him, while Mario, acting in a furious manner, advanced on Luigi and shouted, "I BET IT WAS YOU WHO ATE MARIO'S SPAGHETTI!"

"Wait, what..." Luigi raised an eyebrow, and Mario began attacking the living meat mallet, "WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! I NEED YOUR HELP!"

SMG4 picked up a crowbar, which lay on the floor for some reason, and smacked both the dog and the meat mallet. "Get crowbared!" The somewhat light-hearted host shouted, then he realized his mistake, "Sorry about that, Luigi. How can we help you?"

"I need help with making red pasta sauce." Luigi explained, he gestured to the table where some veggies were laid out, "But I can't figure out what ingredient we should use..."

A curious SMG4 looked over what was on the cooking table in a thoughtful manner. "Hmmm... red pasta sauce..." He quipped, and looked at the camera, "How the heck are we supposed to make something like that?"

"Use Luigi the Meat Mallet!" Some kids exclaimed.

"Oh my gosh, you're right." SMG4's face brightened up, and he grabbed Luigi, "We can use Luigi to bash these ingredients and figure out which one will make some red."

"What? No!" Luigi protested, "What are you do... STOP!"

Too late. SMG4 brought down the end of the mallet i.e. Luigi's face on a cucumber, followed by a carrot. SMG4 questioned the audience if they had the right color when he struck the former, with the kids saying "no", and doing the same thing with the same response after hitting the carrot. Only the tomato remained now.

"Allow me." Mario stepped in, picked up Meat Mallet Luigi in his mouth, and smashed the tomato until a puddle of red sauce stained the table. Right as they'd nailed the tomato, a glow caught SMG4 and Mario's attention, and the two of them spotted a meatball in the middle of what remained of the tomato.

"There it is!" SMG4 exclaimed with glee, "Our first Mystery Meatball. The clue is..."

"The color of red!" Several kids said in unison.

"Great work, you guys! You know what that means, it's time to draw it in our handy-dandy..."

"Smart Phone!" The audience cried.

Mario barked with glee.

"You got that right." SMG4 winked, and he pulled up a pen before drawing a red line, followed by the image of a dead tomato. With the first clue out of the way, that meant there were a few more clues to go. But just before Mario, SMG4 and their guests could continue on, a chorus of voices sang up as if out of nowhere.

"TV Time, TV Time, TV Time, TV Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime."

SMG4's face lit up, even Mario was wide-eyed with excitement. "Oh, shoot!" The host exclaimed, "You hear that, kids? It's TV time!"