Chapter Sixteen:

Mystery Solved, It's A Flop!

Mr. Puzzles pumped his fist, and clapped with utter glee at the sight of the explosion in the war zone. The TV-headed entertainer-enslaver laughed with near-satisfaction, and said, "Oh, what a show this is, and that was certainly a close call for you, Mario. I can't wait to see how this mystery ends, especially since we all know the obvious conclusion to it."

He looked to the monitor showing SMG4, and Mario arriving back in their "house", and the latter took a moment to recover as the former finally managed to draw an image of the final clue on the "handy dandy smartphone"; a red mushroom, based on Shroomy the Sniper.

"That sure was a close one." SMG4 said, "But it was all worth it. We have all three clues..." He looked at the camera, "You know what that means, it's time for..."

"The thinking couch." The kids finished.

"Just like the thinking chair from the original Blue's Clues." Mr. Puzzles said with a smug smile.

"Yep, let's go!" SMG4 nodded, then he and Mario headed right back to the living room, and the former sat down on the "thinking couch" with the kids gathering around and the camera remaining on SMG4. Mario sat next to him, eager to see the conclusion play out, regardless of whatever happened next.

SMG4 held the phone, and images of red tomato sauce, a green pipe, and a red mushroom cropped up. "Okay, so..." The host began to summarize, "We have the color, red, a green pipe, and a mushroom..."

Without warning, Mario leaped towards the mushroom image with his mouth open, and bit into all of it. SMG4 looked at his dog with utter shock, and the mustached canine quipped, "Yummy mushroom drawing."

"Mario, you just ate the last clue!" SMG4 exclaimed, then his eyes widened even more, and the show host looked towards the camera as the pieces fell together. "Wait a minute. Mario... You wear read, you go through green pipes, and you eat mushrooms..." He looked at his dog, whose eyes were getting wider by the second, "Did you eat the spaghetti?!"

"HE FIGURED IT OUT!" Mario shrieked with fear.

SMG4 glared at his dog as he welled up with rage, "You made me play Mario's Mysteries, and live through war, just to come to the most obvious conclusion possible!"

"Eh, Mario just wanted to have some fun." Mario said to his "owner", who was getting angrier by the second. By this point, he was done, SMG4 was not going to wait any longer for the day he would kill his own dumbass dog. After what he just went through, this was the point where enough was enough.

"Oooooh, I see where this is going." Mr. Puzzles crossed his fingers with a sadistic smile as he observed from his viewing station. SMG4 looked at the camera, and the kids, with a somewhat calm expression right as Mario tried to sneak out of the room like a good majority of Karma Houdinis did.

"Well, kids. I hope you had a lot of fun today." SMG4 said, in a surprisingly calm tone for someone who was angry, "But, before we go, it's time for one last song..." He grabbed Mario by the neck hard, "THE 'LET'S KILL MARIO' SONG!"

Strangely upbeat music began playing, and SMG4 launched into song as he grabbed Luigi the Meat Malet, and Meggy the Landmine popped up, all while Mario cried and whimpered with fear;

"We did it, we found the clues. What do we do, we kill Mario...

"With Luigi the Meat Mallet, and Meggy the Landmine. With all of these friends, we're going to have a good time.

"Oh, we're going to kill Mario today, we're gonna put him down.

"He's a dumbass, and I can't wait to burn his carcass.

"GET OVER HERE!"

The kids left the house, and the cameraman pulled out as SMG4, Luigi the Meat Mallet, and Meggy went to town on Mario, and the sounds of dog barking, explosions, and hammer smashing could be heard while SMG4 shouted, "You get this for almost getting me killed near the end, you stupid dog!"

"HELP, HELP! MAMA MIA!" Mario howled.

"Three, two, one! KA BOOM!" Meggy the Landmine cried excitedly, then she exploded.

Within the comfort of his monitoring station, Mr. Puzzles watched as the screen went to static, and he leaped from his chair as he blew a party horn. Oh, what a delightful show it had been, for him. Now, it was time to prepare for the next show, and he had the script for that fairy tale episode all planned out.

But first, Mr. Puzzles was wondering what the reviews were going to be for Mario's Mysteries. He heard a click, and he turned to see the tape labeled "Mario's Mysteries" pop out of a dispenser.

The sinister entertainer picked it up, and tossed it into his distribution machine connected to a computer, then he picked up his remote and pressed the "upload to YouTube" button.

Mr. Puzzles laughed maniacally and proclaimed, "Mr. Puzzles, you are one of the greatest entertainers in all of existence. You are on the threshold of getting five stars. It has to be a massive hit!"

-A few hours later-

DING! DING!

"Ah!" Mr. Puzzles exclaimed, "That must be the Mushroom Kingdom newspaper, and the reviews for Mario's Mysteries must be in. Oh ho, do I get five stars? Is it perfect? It's perfect, it has to be! It was spectacular, people love parodies with somewhat original twists, and SMG4 does that sort of thing all the time."

He strolled out of his office, and found the latest edition of the Mushroom Kingdom News Media waiting on the floor, with the image showing SMG4 and Mario the Dog on the front cover. Just as Mr. Puzzles expected, the papers were covering the latest "show".

Bursting with total glee, Mr. Puzzles picked up the newspaper, walked into his office, and sat down at his desk. He unfolded the paper, and his eyes went wide when he read the headline; "FLOP FOR MARO'S MYSTERIES, critics rate it 3.6/5."

"NO! NO! NO!" Mr. Puzzles wailed, "THREE POINT FIVE OUT OF FIVE?! How could they do this to me? It was great, it was spontaneous! Let's see here, 'Mario's Mysteries is a colorful outing that fills one with nostalgia for the original Blue's Clues, but while it is fun, was it necessary to make such a bland rip-off with Mario as Blue and SMG4 as one of the show's hosts?'"

Mr. Puzzles shot to his feet, and threw the paper without reading any of the articles. His face flashed a maddened facial expression, and he cried, "IT'S GOTTA BE PERFECT, IT'S GOTTA BE PERFECT, IT'S GOTTA BE PERFECT! WHY WON'T THEY RESPECT THE EFFORT I PUT INTO THIS SHOW, EVEN IF IT WAS A PARODY/RIP-OFF?!

"GRRRR, you just left me no choice... to play a bigger role in the next show. I'M FIRING THE ACTOR I HIRED TO PLAY THE FAIRY GODMOTHER, AND I'M GOING TO BE THE ONE WHO FILLS IT! NOW, I WON'T JUST BE THE 'TV ON THE WALL', I'M GOING TO PLAY MULTIPLE ROLES! Ok, calm down, Mr. Puzzles, you can do it. We can achieve perfection. But first..."

He picked up the phone, and dialed a number. Once the line connected, Mr. Puzzles coughed. "Ahem, hullo?" He said, "This is Mr. Puzzles, with some unfortunate news. You won't be playing the role of Fairy Godmother for the fairy tale show. YOU'RE FIRED! Honestly, I didn't need you anyway. Goodbye!"

Mr. Puzzles hung up the phone, and slammed his fist on the table, composed himself once more, and stood up before leaving his office. It was time to begin the next show...