Episode 33:
Triple Teacher Trouble!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: We apologize for re-publishing the previous chapter. The only reason I did it was because nobody had bothered to review it the first time.

FEATURED GUEST VOICES:
ANDREW CHANDLER as SGT. LOCK
ADRIENNE BARBEAU/RACHEL LILLIS as Kumicho Kuno
JANYSE JAUD as Hinako Ninomiya
and JOHN VERNON!

NOTE #2: Kumicho Kuno is a fanmade character courtesy of 'ranmabooks-dot-com'. [18+ only.]

Please read and review this one so I don't have to repost it, okay?

We begin in a dark room that is suddenly lit up by the glow of a projector.

"I've recruited you all at this school for a reason: you each have exemplary records for cleaning things up, and dealing out discipline to delinquents," said a stern-sounding voice. "All of which makes you perfect for dealing with these two."

The projector then showed a photo of Ranma and Kenma: Ranma pulling an akanbe, and Kenma making a face while tugging the sides of his mouth and sticking out his tongue.

"Ranma and Kenma Saotome. Ranma is the one on the left with the black hair and the chinese shirt. Kenma's the one on the right with the red hair and the monkey tail…remember that now."

A much larger figure nodded his head.

"These two have plenty of friends as well," the voice continued, showing photos of Ukyo, Ryunosuke, Junichi, Daisuke and Hiroshi, Tsubasa, Lum, and Nabiki. "And each of them is what I call a 'nuisance'. So this is your mission, should you choose to accept it: CRUSH THE SAOTOME BROTHERS!"

The three figures all nodded, and the owner of said voice chuckled to themselves.

AND SO, THE NEXT DAY…

"Hello, ev'rybody!" crowed Principal Kuno to the students of Class 4A—although he was communicating over a TV screen he'd had installed in the room. "Today I be havin' big news for you all! Startin' today, you all havin' brand-new teachers! Just one of them clean up 3 reform schools, and de uddah used to be a prison guard aftah he served in de military!"

Hiroshi glanced at Daisuke. "...last I checked, Furinkan wasn't a reform school…" he commented.

"This sounds kinda fishy, if ya ask me." Daisuke whispered.

"This I gotta see," muttered Ranma. "Anyone that jerk likes has gotta be trouble…"

"Please give a warm aloha to Hinako Ninomiya, me old friend Sergeant Andrew Lock and me beautiful wife, Kumicho Kuno."

And that was when everyone's jaws dropped.

"No…"

"Friggin'..."

"Way."

"Someone actually had sex with him? Twice?!" Ryunosuke asked, flabbergasted.

"She's still married to that guy?!" Junichi shouted as well, unable to process that information. And really…can you blame him for being shocked? "Is this one of those prank camera shows?"

The classroom door opened, and in came a long-haired brunette girl in a yellow blouse, a tall muscular dark-haired man in a suit and tie, and a dark-haired woman dressed up like a secretary, with her hair done up in a bun.

The second most of the guys saw her, they immediately crossed their legs and went red-faced.

"I'm Miss Hinako Ninomiya~!" chirruped the little girl. "All you bad kids better watch out, 'cuz I'm gonna set you straight~! Hihihihihihihihihi!"

Ranma blanched at the sight of this small child. Was this Principal Kuno's way of mocking him?

He's pullin' our legs! Ranma thought while looking at Hinako.

"They're certainly hiring young these days, aren't they…?" Kenma commented, nonplussed.

"I'll say." Lum replied. "I wonder if her parents know that she's working for a lunatic."

"Somehow, I think that's the least of our concerns." the younger Saotome brother said as he gestured to Lock, who gave a firm, unwavering glance. Something about said glance carried a purely ominous aura.

"Whoa!" the alien exclaimed. "He's built like a tank."

I'm picking up a serious battle aura… Kenma thought as he glanced down at his quivering tail. It's got my tail-fur standing on end!

"Can't be too careful around him." Tsubasa whispered to Kenma.

"I'm sure y'all are gonna get real well-acquainted." Principal Kuno said with a chuckle before cutting off the feed.

Ranma let out a sigh and said. "I can tell that this is gonna be a long day…"

Suddenly, the screams of an angry mob could be heard outside.

"...and it looks like it just got longer," commented Kenma.

"Give us back our panties!" shouted a female student.

"What a haul, what a haul!" A certain little gremlin said as he hopped along with a bag full of women's undergarments slung around his back.

"You old geezer, get back here!" another girl yelled at Happosai.

"Who's a geezer?" asked Happosai. "I'm a student, see my uniform?!"

"Time to go to work." Lock said as he climbed out of the window and leapt to the ground, leaving the students bewildered. His impact left a tremendous THUD as he got to his feet.

As the old letch trotted along, the sudden impact of the thud knocked him to the ground. "What the…?! What, are we having an earthquake?" he asked, looking around.

"I'm one of the new faculty members at this school," Lock smirked as he cracked his knuckles. "And last I checked, the rules are quite clear about not allowing old perverts like you on the premises."

"Aw c'mon, big guy," insisted Happosai as he started preparing something. "Can'tcha just loosen up? Besides, I got something special just for you—HAPPO-FIRE-BURST!" he said as he threw one of his usual paper mache bombs at the mountainous man.

Surprisingly, Lock just grabbed the bomb out of the air and crushed it as it exploded in his hand.

"Huh? That's not supposed to happen." Happosai looked on in bewilderment and shock. That technique always worked on his targets.

"Save the fireworks for the 4th of July!" he said before grabbing Happosai by his giant head and squishing him into a ball before throwing him halfway across the town. "AND DON'T COME BACK!"

"Damn!" Ranma said while looking out from the window.

"I'll say," Kenma commented as he used binoculars to follow Happosai's path. "Threw him farther than Akane's best distance by a huge margin."

"No fair, no fair!" complained Hinako, puffing her cheeks out and stomping her feet. "I had that covered, Lock!"

"He was a threat, and needed to be dealt with quickly, Hinako," Lock responded, his tone firm but gentle.

"I'm not some child to be protected all the time, Lock!" Hinako pouted in a cute manner.

"I know that, but some people might not," Sgt. Lock continued. "After all, not everyone is aware of your…shall we say, gift."

"Hmmm, that is a pretty good point." the little half-pint admitted. "But I'd hardly call it a gift."

"Tell you what; if this first day goes well…how about we get ice cream after school?" suggested Lock.

"You really mean it?!" Hinako asked as her eyes lit up.

"Absolutely!" Lock nodded. "When I give my word, it's a binding promise."

Hinako squealed with glee as she bounced around like a jumping bean, while the mountainous man was smiling on the inside.

As all this was happening, the entire student body was continuing to stare until the crack of Mrs. Kuno's riding crop got their attention.

WHA-PSSSSH!

"Students, please remember that you are at school, and you have classes to attend," she told them, turning the instrument over in her hands. "So I advise you to be on your way. Anyone who does not comply will have to see me in my office."

"I don't think I'd mind that all too much." one of the male students said under his breath.

Mrs. Kuno must've heard his comment, because this was the very next thing out of her mouth. "Anyone who is sent to my office will be subject to a punishment of the highest order," she said as she took out a disk. "This is a recording of my husband singing. And you will have to listen to it…on loop…for over an hour."

That same student then nervously gulped.

"Well, I believe I've made myself clear." the new vice principal said as she gestured to the door with her riding crop. "You're dismissed."

Within seconds, the throng of students had dispersed and they had gone on their way to their classes.

Later that day, Junichi was being hassled for his lunch money by three punks who were looking for trouble.

"Who said we're bluffin', geek?" asked the leader, Dengeki.

"Ev'ryone knows us and fears us," responded the second, Denatsu.

"So if you're as smart as your grades say, you'll hand over your lunch money!" finished the third, Seiteki.

"I'm not giving you punks anything." Junichi retorted defiantly.

"A brave nerd, eh?" asked Dengeki. "Well, if that's how ya wanna play…boys, show our guest what bravery gets 'im!"

"Right!/On it, boss!" Denatsu and Seiteki replied as they advanced on Junichi.

At that moment, the young inventor drew out a large wrench and held it protectively in front of himself. "If you think you can…you're welcome to try!" he spat.

He then began swinging it around in case one of them got close. Denatsu, however, ducked under one of the wild swings and belted Junichi right in the gut.

"Guh!" Junichi doubled over as the air was knocked out of him.

The young thug then dropped him to his knees with an elbow to the back.

"Hah! That'll teach him to forget his place!" Dengeki said as he walked and grabbed Junichi by his shirt collar.

Hinako was making her rounds when she spotted this event transpiring. "Hey!" she called out, getting the hoods' attention. "Leave him alone, you hooligans!"

"Hmph! Or what, half-pint? You'll throw a fit and call your Daddy on us?" The leader jeered mockingly.

"Yeah! Why don't you go play with your little dollies before you get yourself hurt!" Seiteki chimed in.

"That's it! You've forced my hand!" the little tyke said as she took a 5-yen piece from her pocket.

"Get her!" Dengeki ordered as he charged at Hinako, with the two other goons following behind him.

"Good girl exercise number 1! Ma! Tsu! Byo! Jan! Aku!" Hinako recited while waving her hand in a clockwise motion.

Suddenly, in a big flash of light, the trio's energy was completely drained in a matter of seconds, leaving them dry and emaciated.

"Whoa…!" gasped Junichi, as he got a good look at this fantastic occurrence.

"What the hell?"

"I feel…so weak."

"So tired…what did…she do to us?"

Standing over the delinquents was a tall, statuesque brunette woman in a yellow dress.

"You may wanna wait a few more years before trying me again," she said, her voice low and breathy.

"What just happened?" Junichi asked as he got back onto his feet, staring at the now statuesque woman that the little girl was standing earlier.

"They didn't hurt you too much, did they?" she asked in a low, husky, borderline-sultry-sounding voice.

"N-no, Ma'am." Junichi answered while shaking his head. "One of them gave me a pretty mean gut check but apart from that, I'm just fine."

"Better check up with the nurse, just in case." Hinako instructed.

"I'll be sure to do that before I get to class. Thank you!" the young inventor replied before heading on his way, Miss Hinako watching him as he went.

"Huh! That felt pretty good," she observed, a sense of justice beginning to form within her.

Eventually, lunchtime rolled around and all the students made their way down to the cafeteria.

"Alright, what's our read on the new teachers so far?" Kenma queried as he regrouped with the others in the hallway outside.

"Well, so far, Lock is the farthest thing from a dumb meathead." Hiroshi stated.

"Yeah! He's pretty darn clever!" Daisuke chimed in.

"Just means we'll need to watch our step around him," replied Kenma. "And should we find ourselves in conflict with him, we won't be able to win through muscle, we'll need to outthink him."

"Makes sense to me." said Lum while taking a bite of a turkey sandwich.

"As for Ms. Ninomiya, she seems nice enough." Ryunosuke opined. "A little childish, but nice."

"But that's not all," Junichi informed, before he told the others about what he had borne witness to earlier that day.

"So she absorbed their energy?" Ranma asked.

"Yep!" nodded Junichi. "She siphoned it all like a sponge, and then she grew into a smoking-hot twenty-something!"

"Now that's something you don't see everyday." Tsubasa said with his mouth full of curry bread.

"In any other town, maybe." Ranma joked before taking a few sips of soda.

"Well, now that we know what we're up against, I think—"

"Wait, what about Kumicho?" interrupted Ukyo. "Apart from who she married, as well as who she's the mother of, we don't know a thing about her."

"Crud! You're right!" Ranma admitted. "But how do we find out more about her?"

"Maybe I could give you guys a hand." Nabiki said from a table behind the group.

This of course gave Kenma a jolt, reducing him practically to mush. "Guh~ Hi, Nabiki." he waved to her in a goofy manner, as his tail curled into a heart shape.

The mercenary girl smiled as she walked over to the table and gave Kenma a kiss on the cheek.

"Hello, my handsome monkey~" Nabiki purred in a seductive manner, sending a jolt through Kenma's body and making his tail stand up straight.

"So you can get info on Principal Kuno's wife?" Ranma asked Nabiki. "...how much is it gonna cost us?"

"It's only gonna cost you a date with your brother." Nabiki stated with a smug look on her face.

"Really? Well, that isn't—" Ranma said before Nabiki cut him off.

"An uninterrupted date with him all night long. Meaning no one comes to ruin it with a fight, ambush, stupid horndog antics, or anything the fathers might try," Nabiki smirked at Ranma and made him flinch.

"You can be very sneaky with your demands," Ranma stated to his future sister-in-law.

Nabiki smirked. "It's a gift," she replied. "So…do we have a deal?" she asked, holding her hand out.

Ranma stared down at her outstretched hand like he was getting ready to shake with the devil [or the Shadow Man].

"...deal," he said as he clasped her hand and shook it. As they shook, he felt a general sense of unease about it.

"I'll keep our dads and the old goblin outta your hair while you two have a good time." the ponytailed boy assured.

"And I'll get you the dirt you need on Principal Kuno's old lady," Nabiki replied. "...although, that description doesn't fit her in the least."

"Right?! There's no way that loon could've scored a fox like her!" Ryunosuke reiterated.

"She has to be getting something out of it." Tsubasa pondered. "Like money or influence."

As the kids continued discussing this situation, the kitchen doors swung open, and Sasuke snuck out [in disguise, of course]. He then snuck behind one student who was eating a banana and smacked right in the back of the head, making him spit it out.

This stray banana flew from his mouth like a cannonball, which struck another student right in the back of his neck. "Augh!" he exclaimed, whirling around. Angry, he scooped a fistful of mashed potatoes off his tray and hurled it randomly, as it splattered someone right in the face.

And then, as though someone had thrown a chair…it immediately erupted into a full-scale food fight!

"Uh-oh! It looks as though a full-blown culinary war has broken out!" Junichi observed.

"Yeah, and we're right in the middle of a food fight, too!" added Daisuke.

"We better scram before things get too hot!" Ranma said as he began to sneak out of the cafeteria, with the others following behind him.

Seconds later, Hinako skittered down to the cafeteria and gasped at the sight of the utter chaos. "What in the world happened?" she asked.

"Seems like some troublemaker started a food fight." Lock said, somehow completely unphased. "Wouldn't be the first time I've seen it happen."

"Either way, it's gone far enough!" Hinako stated as she pulled her trusty 5 yen piece.

"Good girl exercise number 1! Ma! Tsu! Byo! Jan! Aku!" Hinako recited while waving her hand in a clockwise motion, this time sweeping it across the cafeteria so that she drained the majority of the students' energies!

Everyone who was involved in the fight now looked like a dried-out sponge, and much to Lock's bewilderment, Hinako was back in her full-grown adult form. Her muscles had also grown in size, giving her a powerful yet still curvaceous physique [Think Fasha from DBZ: Bardock, Father of Goku]

"Whoa! When did this happen?!" the enormous disciplinary officer asked while tugging at his shirt collar.

"What, this?" the statuesque woman said as she gestured to her amazonian body. "Oh, well that's easy to explain. I get stronger depending on how much energy I absorb."

"...I see…" Lock managed to respond, his face completely red. "Well, I'm gonna see who's responsible for all this."

From the corner of his eye, he spotted Ranma, Kenma and co. all tip-toeing towards the exit. Of course, Tsubasa dressed up as a recycling bin.

"And just where do you think you're going?" Sgt. Lock scowled, prompting them to freeze in their tracks.

"Oh, we were all just about to leave before things got too heated," replied Ranma.

"A likely story," commented Hinako. "Seems more like you were leaving the scene of the crime after pulling it off."

"Us, commit a crime? You must be joking!" Kenma insisted.

"Then you wouldn't mind telling me what this was doing on your table," the giant said as he showed them a banana peel.

Kenma glanced at the peel. "...oh, please; that could be anyone's banana," he replied. "How do ya know we ate it?"

"I think you'd better come with us." Hinako said as she grabbed Kenma by the tail.

"Ow! Hey!" winced Kenma. "That's attached, y'know!"

"Huh? Sorry about that." the brunette apologized before grabbing him by the back of his shirt collar.

"That means you too, ponytail." Lock said as he grabbed and hoisted him over his shoulder.

"This isn't right!" Ranma protested. "You've got no proof! No hard evidence, just a bunch of lies!"

"We'll be the judge of that." The mountainous man said as he left the cafeteria, with the others following behind.

"I want a lawyer! I want a doctor!" Kenma shouted as he was dragged out of the cafeteria. "I want a grilled cheese sandwich!"

Luckily, Tsubasa was still perfectly hidden in his disguise. "This is not good!" he said to himself. "I've gotta bail 'em out somehow!"

And so he ducked back into his recycling bin before he scurried out of the cafeteria.

Later on, the rest of the group was in detention, pending the investigation; Hiroshi played a sad tune on his harmonica while Daisuke shuffled a deck of cards.

Hinako, who was now back to her child form, sat at her desk, kicking her legs about; Kenma twirled a pencil around his fingers; Sgt. Lock stood by the door with his arms crossed.

Hiroshi was about to hit a high note before Lock stopped him by saying, "Quiet down, Curly! You're in detention, remember?"

"On what grounds?" he asked, outraged.

"On account of you being prime suspects." the enormous disciplinary officer justified.

"Suspects, nothin'. You're just singling us out!" Daisuke refuted.

"How are you gonna keep us here, anyway?" Ryunosuke asked.

"Just until you're cleared." Hinako spoke up from her desk.

"What ever happened to 'innocent-until-proven-guilty'?" asked Kenma.

"I know you delinquents, you're all alike." the little tyke stated.

"And who said we were delinquents? Our esteemed, nut-job principal?" Ranma interjected.

"Yeah! That guy's as reliable as a leaky faucet!" Kenma chimed in.

"And he's dirtier than martian tap water!" Lum agreed. [Mars is apparently the Detroit of space]

"Why do you even work for that creep, anyway?" asked Ryunosuke.

"Well, if you must know, I owe him a favor." explained Lock. "He got me this job after we met a while back. He was an "occupant" of the institute I was working in."

"...prison or mental asylum?" Kenma asked, breaking the silence.

"It was a prison that got closed down due to budget cuts." the giant elaborated. "He was one of the rich ones, and I happened to be desperate."

"Well, you sure can pick your employers," commented Ukyo. "Rich and crazy, the total package."

"Huh?" asked Miss Hinako. "What do you mean?"

And then the kids started talking about the principal's first day back. [From last season!]

"WHAT?!" Lock and Hinako said in unison, baffled by what they had just heard.

"It's all true," said Ryno. "Ask the teachers if you don't believe us. Apparently that's nothing new for him."

"And if you need further proof, take a look at the security footage." Junichi added.

"And the fact his office is the fucking gymnasium!" Ranma grunted in anger; after all, it never went back to being the gymnasium since the principal's return.

"So then where do you have P.E.?" asked Miss Hinako.

Daisuke raised his hand—only to realize that he didn't know. "...that is an excellent question," he replied.

"Then again, we do have an outdoor basketball court and baseball field," responded Hiroshi.

"And track field, and an outdoor pool—the last one I had to learn the hard way." Ranma grumbled, remembering how he found out about the pool. [As seen in Season 1]

This left the good sergeant in a contemplative mood; maybe he did owe his old friend…but could he really turn a blind eye to any wrongdoing that went on in the school, even if said friend WAS in charge of things around there?

MEANWHILE, IN THE JAPANESE COUNTRYSIDE...

No maps, no charts...this time, I'm going with my gut, thought Ryoga as he approached the rope bridge leading to the Oak Village.

Since he'd left Nerima yet again last week, he was on a mission to head to Oak Village. While ruffling through Happosai's collection of stolen knowledge, he'd come across a scroll that told of an ancient collection of moves that would give their user as much power as they desired.

And if I got my hands on those moves, Ranma would never be able to make me look stupid again! Ryoga thought with wicked glee. And then, I could make my dream a reality...

Through his mind flashed the images of himself impaling Ranma on his own hand, then breaking Kenma's neck. The thought made Ryoga snicker wickedly as he took his first steps across the bridge.

MORE ON HIS ESCAPADES LATER.

So here's part 1 of the new episode. Hope you like and appreciate it as a way to apologize for the re-post!

Part 2 is coming soon, so let me know what you think of this one. Also offer suggestions and whatnot in your reviews, I appreciate 'em!