Episode 34:
Triple Teacher Trouble, Part 2!

Meanwhile, Tsubasa had snuck towards the teacher's lounge, still in the guise of a recycling bin; once he was in position outside, he sat down and waited. A few minutes later, Sasuke came by and went inside, rubbing his eyes.

Before the door could shut, Tsubasa quickly darted inside.

"I think I've earned myself a nice, long nap." Sasuke said to himself as he pulled out a futon and blanket, and made himself comfortable. "Maybe I'll sleep my hunger away."

That's right, snooze it up, thought Tsubasa as he snuck in, finding a doorway to the office. While I get what I came for!

Using a bobby-pin to pick the lock, Tsubasa slithered inside and found the camera console. Once he spotted the VCR, he got the tape out and slipped it into his side compartment.

"Bingo!" he whispered as he snuck back out of the lounge, while Sasuke slept like a log. Of course, as he exited, he didn't realize that he was being watched by Principal Kuno. This time, however, the man was dressed in a business suit, not that tacky Hawaiian shirt he was so fond of dressing in.

"So, is that what he's up to?" he asked, in a voice that sounded less like the wannabe Hawaiian he was so fond of acting like, and more like Dean Wormer from Animal House, or the Mayor in Dirty Harry, or Rupert Thorne from the DC Animated Universe. "Well, if he thinks he'll be successful, he's in for a very rude awakening!"

Pressing a few buttons on his console, a side door opened, and out of it came four kunoichis, all in ninja garb. One by one, they each bowed to Principal Kuno.

"I'm gonna need you wahines to do dis big kahuna a real favor!" he laughed in his usual stupid voice. "See dat keiki on de screen dere? He's got a videotape, and I'm gonna need you to help get it back for me!"

"It will be done, Kuno-sama," whispered the lead kunoichi, and she and her group threw down smoke bombs, and vanished amidst the commotion. Principal Kuno couldn't help but laugh with wicked pride…of course, he couldn't help but cough, either, due to having breathed in a lot of the smoke.

"Note to self: tell the kunoichis to use the door next time," he said amidst his coughing.

Of course, being a bit too arrogant for his own good, Principal Kuno happened to hire some of the most incompetent kunoichis—who just so happened to be the cheapest for hire.

Meanwhile, Tsubasa was still sneaking around the halls when he heard footsteps; turning around, he saw the four kunoichis, poorly hidden behind random objects.

So that's who he's sending after me, huh? Tsubasa thought. Not exactly what I'd call intimidating…in any case, I should be able to blend in perfectly.

Reaching into his ever-so-handy disguise kit [which he kept on hand at all times], Tsubasa quickly camouflaged himself with some homemade smoke bombs [actually baby powder], and a kunoichi costume of his own.

"Did you see that delinquent anywhere?" The leader asked.

"Nope. Haven't seen him, yet." the actor answered.

"Then we'd better go look some more," the other kunoichi replied, and Tsubasa joined them as they continued on.

Of course, the last one in line had to stop and re-tie her sandal because it had come loose. As she was re-tying it, her guard was completely down.

KLONG!

Seconds later, she was out like a light, and standing over her was Kumicho Kuno, clutching a frying pan she'd snagged from the school kitchen.

"Sorry, but I'm gonna have to borrow this." the vice principal said as she dragged the assassin away into the female restroom and stole her outfit.

Back in Oak Village, Ryoga had now made it to the temple and was making his way towards the forbidden scrolls.

Just a little further, Ryoga, he said to himself. Only a few more minutes, and you'll have all the power you could ever dream of...more power than you could shake a stick at!

Before he could get his hands on the scrolls, several ninjas sprang from the shadows, each wielding a weapon of some sort!

"For decades, we have protected these scrolls from fools in search of power," the lead ninja said. "And YOU will be no different. Now leave this village...or you shall perish."

Ryoga furrowed his brows, and grinned . "...no, I don't think I will," he retorted.

"So be it, then," declared the head ninja. "YA-ME!"

As the ninjas attacked the intruder, Ryoga shifted his feet and leapt into action with a wolfish aura around him!

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE TENDO DOJO…

Happosai was fuming and scowling to himself as he angrily put together a new slew of Happo-Fire Burst Bombs.

"None of those teachers has ever had the guts to stand up to me," he growled. "And I won't let that change…least of all from some over-muscled, military washout! I don't give a hoot about how tough he is, he won't stop me from getting what I want! Especially if it's panties!"

As he ranted, a fiery aura began to manifest around his body and his eyes began to glow red.

Of course, Genma was hiding outside on the patio, his teeth chattering as he listened to the old pervert's angry ranting.

When the master gets like this, he's liable to make a mistake, he thought. I'll give him my idea later. Once he fails, he'll be more willing to accept a partnership.

Surprisingly, Soun wasn't scared this time. Instead, he merrily sneered in contempt of his so-called master. "Hmph! It's just like him to lose his temper whenever he doesn't get his own way." he said to himself. "It's like he's a damned child."

Nodoka was outside watering the plants when she saw Genma quivering in fear from Happosai's rage. "My husband, the spineless coward," she scoffed.

After a good few minutes, Happosai was finally done crafting his bombs. "Genma, Soun, hold down the fort. I'll be back soon."

"Certainly, Master!" called Genma, putting on his 'bootlicker' act. "And when you return with the spoils of your hunt, maybe we could talk!"

"Huh? Sure, whatever." the little hobgoblin agreed dismissively, waving Genma off.

"Break a leg!...please!" Ranko shouted from the kitchen.

With determination in his grotty little heart, Happosai bundled up his bombs and headed off to the school.

.

.

.

…seriously, how does he not see any problem with this?

BACK AT SCHOOL…

The kids were still cooling their heels in the detention hall.

"So, how long do we have to stay here?" asked Ranma.

"As I said, until some solid evidence turns up." Hinako answered.

"Who knows how long THAT'S going to take?" groaned Daisuke.

"At this rate, we'll all be old geezers!" Hiroshi chimed in.

"Look, kids. The only way you're gettin' outta here is if there's a natural disaster going on," Sgt. Lock sternly stated before his CB radio started beeping.

He quickly picked it off his belt and answered. "Go for Lock, over."

"Sgt. Lock, we've got an emergency on our hands!" exclaimed a panicked voice on the other end. "Some crazy nut in a burglar mask is throwing paper-mache bombs and stealing girls' underwear…plus he's groping them!"

"It's that old fart again, isn't it?!" the giant asked furiously. "That's it, this time, he's gonna get it!"

"Wait!" said Kenma. "You need to bring us along."

"And why's THAT?" inquired the sergeant.

"Because we know how to fight him—we've had to do it every other day," replied Ranma.

"And we also know how steamed he gets whenever he doesn't get his way," added Kenma. "He whines, cries, and resorts to stupid pranks until he gets what he wants."

"Don't expect their dad to stop him, either," Ukyo chimed in. "The man's got less spine than a jellyfish."

"They have a point, Lock." Hinako agreed. "We'll need all the help we can get."

"...oh, alright," Lock eventually caved in. "Looks like we're working together."

"Yep! Let's go, everyone!" Ranma said as got up from his chair. And in an instant, the group headed out of the detention hall, ready for action!

Meanwhile outside, Happosai was causing complete and utter mayhem; throwing bombs like an anarchist, stealing panties, and copping feels off of chests and asses.

"~Hi-diddle-de-dee, a master's life for me~!" the old crotch goblin sang as he skipped around, twirling and throwing bomb after bomb.

Tsubasa, at the moment, was covering his head as he screamed and ran for his life, avoiding the bombs while running through the minefield. "AAH! Crud, crud, crud!" he shrieked, trying to keep ahead of the explosions as much as he could. "I do NOT wanna die! NOT LIKE THIS!"

Suddenly, he found that he'd been snatched off the ground! Looking up, he saw he was being carried by Lock. "Gotcha!"

"Thanks a lot!" the young thespian said.

"You're welcome, young lady," the giant replied.

"Actually, I'm a guy."

"Oh!"

"I just look like a girl, is all," Tsubasa explained. "That's how I know the disguise and constant squats are working!"

"Well, ya sure fooled me, kid." Lock admitted. "Now let's get you to safety!"

The mountainous man ran like a bullet train amidst the explosions while he got Tsubasa to the others, during which he was immediately hugged by Ryunosuke and Junichi.

"Alright, so we understand the plan, right?" asked Ukyo.

"Definitely!" Kenma nodded. "We pair up and corral him into a corner! Then, Hinako uses her special move to drain his energy!"

"Uh-oh! Heads up!" Ranma shouted as he pointed his finger up at the two bombs that were about to fall on them.

Quickly, everyone dispersed as the bombs hit the ground, exploding as soon as they hit.

"I'll take a crack at him first!" Hiroshi said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a hand puppet of Mega Man.

"You're gonna give him a puppet show?" asked Lock with a raised eyebrow.

"You could say that!" Hiroshi replied before launching a charged shot at Happosai, catching him off guard and hitting him in the back.

"AAH!" the little goblin shrieked as he rubbed his sore back.

"Woah!" the sergeant exclaimed. "I think I ought to call you Henson."

"I got him next!" Kenma exclaimed. "Everyone, sunglasses on!"

"Right!" the kids said before donning their own pairs of opaque sunglasses. Kenma put his hands to his head, and squeezed his eyes shut. "TAIYŌ-KEN!" he exclaimed, as a stunning blue light flashed out, causing Happosai to be blinded for a few minutes.

"WAAAAAAUGH! I CAN'T SEE!" he squawked as he clutched his eyes.

"Now, while he's distracted!" Kenma instructed.

"CHAAAARGE!" Tsubasa yelled as he bum-rushed Happosai while wearing a bull costume. The old man barely had time to react before he felt himself getting body-slammed right in his stomach with the force of a freight train.

"Guuh!" Happosai coughed as the wind was knocked out of his sails and he went flying.

Junichi used this chance to run behind the old geezer, and gave him a good whack with his pipe wrench.

KLONG!

"I got him!" Lock announced as he wound up his fist and got ready to punch Happosai into the ground. But before he could do so, the little wart opened his eyes and struck Lock in the chin with his pipe.

"Ugh!" The blow sent him sliding across the dirt.

"You little ingrates…think you have even a CHANCE…of beating ME?!" Happosai growled. "I'm the grandmaster of the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts! I was fighting people 10 times my size when you were still suckling from your mothers' breasts! You are NOTHING to me! You're ANTS! No…less than ants—you're amoebas! The only reason you got the jump on me was pure dumb luck, and nothing more!"

He then threw another volley of bombs at our heroes.

"Incoming!" Ukyo warned as she threw her mini spatulas at some of the explosives, blowing them up mid-air.

Then Daisuke threw his cards at the bombs, slicing them in half.

Hinako was covering her ears while Junichi covered her with a portable energy shield.

"Hey! That gives me an idea!" the young inventor said with the snap of his finger.

"What do you mean, Junichi?" Hinako asked.

"What I mean is that you could use your technique to absorb the kinetic energy from the explosions!" Junichi replied.

"Say, that's a great idea!" the little tyle said before standing out from her covering. "You might wanna duck for this."

As Junichi ducked, Hinako pulled out her trusty 5-yen piece and recited her incantation. "Good girl exercise number 1! Ma! Tsu! Byo! Jan! Aku!" she chanted, and proceeded to siphon the kinetic energy into herself.

"Yes! Worked like a charm!" Hinako said as she pumped her now toned, muscular arm.

"Ha-cha-cha!" Happosai wolf-whistled at the statuesque woman before jumping up to grab her bountiful bosom. "Hey, cutie, how's about givin' me a big hug?"

Hinako quickly smacked him away with her clipboard. "Watch the hands, old timer!" she snapped.

The old man got to his feet and shook his head, as though he was remembering something. "Wait a second…I know you!" he realized. "

"Umm…you do?" she asked before it clicked. "Come to think of it, I remember you too, Happosai."

"You two know each other?!" Lock asked, utterly shocked.

"Yeah…he's the one who taught me this technique." the statuesque woman explained.

"I'm the one who taught her that technique." the little goblin said in unison with her.

This prompted the others to gasp.

"It was 10 years ago when I met her at some monkey hospital." Happosai explained.

"Around that time, I was pretty sickly," explained Hinako. "The old guy came in and taught me that technique every other day cuz he said it would make me stronger."

"So I squeezed the pressure points for energy absorption and taught her healthy exercise routines," added Happosai. "And then, after a month of training, it was time to put her skills to the test!"

"How much you wanna bet that he was on one of his usual panty raids?" Ranma pondered.

"I'd take some of that action," commented Kenma.

"Ditto," agreed Ryunosuke.

"It's true, Hinako was a great help in getting those nurses off my back so I could snag their undergarments," responded Happosai. "But I DID make her well again!"

"In other words, you did the right thing for the wrong reasons!" said Daisuke.

"Sounds just like him," commented Hiroshi. "Which is why we gotta take him out!"

"Then let's do it!" Ranma exclaimed.

Happosai got ready to throw another bomb before Daisuke threw another one of his cards at the bastard's hand, knocking the explosive out of his hand and causing it to blow up in his face.

"ACK!" the little gremlin cried out as he went flying once again.

Sgt. Lock then kicked him towards Ranma like a hacky sack. "Eyes up, Ponytail! He's comin at ya!" he called.

"Right!" nodded Ranma, as he hit Happosai into the air.

"Happo 5-Yen-Satsu! Return!" Hinako called as she released the energy she had accumulated in one tremendous, concentrated beam.

"Shinku Hadoken!" Hiroshi cried out, prompting his Ryu puppet to shoot a blue fire ball.

"Eat 20,000 volts, jerk!" Lum said as she fired a beam of electricity from her palms.

"Now for the big finale!" Kenma declared as he drew back, warmed up a ki ball, and shot it as a blast. "KA-ME-HA-ME-HA!"

Every single attack merged into one big beam that sent Happosai flying into low level orbit.

"You haven't heard the last of me…!" the old man shrieked out as he vanished into the horizon with a little twinkle.

"Hey, awesome!" Kenma grinned. "We came, we saw, we decimated!"

"Freakin' A-right we did!" said Ranma as he gave his brother a high five.

"You were great, darling!" Lum congratulated Ranma before floating over and hugging him.

Ukyo joined in. "She's right, and we did a damn good job ourselves!" she added.

Junichi, Ryunosuke and Tsubasa all shared a hug, as well.

Hiroshi and Daisuke performed their very own secret handshake.

"You kids sure know how to throw down. I'm impressed!" Sgt. Lock admitted.

"I think this takes you all off the hook." Hinako said.

"Awesome!" Daisuke grinned.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Tsubasa said as he reached into his shirt and pulled out the security tape. Lock and Hinako accepted the tape, and went back inside to play it.

"Well, it'll be nice having teachers on our side," said Ukyo. "Even if Principal Whackjob is out to get us."

"Don't worry, Ucchan," advised Ranma. "No matter what comes our way, we'll face it together."

A string of cheers from the others made it clear he wasn't the only one who felt this way.

All the while, a sheet of paper with instructions for a pressure point technique flew down from the sky.

MEANWHILE, BACK AT HOME...

Genma was in the backyard, drinking tea when Happosai fell screaming into the koi pond with a SPLASH!

Minutes later, the old man bubbled up to the surface.

"...perhaps you'd like to talk now, master?" Genma asked.

"Depends…it's got to be about those damned kids of yours," Happosai groaned.

"Actually, it is." replied Genma. "They got in your way again, didn't they?"

"Damned right!" fumed Happosai. "Someone ought to teach those little punks some respect!"

A sneaky grin crossed Genma's face. "Well…then I might know just the technique to put them in their places, Master," he said.

Happosai raised a brow. "...is that right, then?" he asked, smirking. "Then perhaps it WASN'T a complete waste to train you, Genma..."

And so, Genma led Happosai indoors for a discussion—the details of which shall be revealed at a later date!

At the Kuno Estate, everything seemed to be going normally...well, normally for them, at least. Kuno was polishing his bokken, Kodachi was ribbon-twirling, and Sasuke was meditating in the corner, trying to stave off the sensation of hunger.

Suddenly, the door was kicked open, and standing in the doorway was Kumicho.

"Ah, dearest mother! You've come home!" Kodachi gushed as she raced over to the woman, who swept her up in her arms and kissed her forehead.

"Yes, Kodachi…I've been busy for a while, but I finally have time to come home," she said.

Kuno's jaw dropped in awe. "Wait a second…MOTHER?!" he exclaimed, his eyes wide.

At that, Sasuke's eyes opened and his concentration broke. "Mistress Kumicho?!" he sputtered, his face red with embarrassment.

"Hello again, Sasuke~" Kumicho purred with a wink. "If you're not too busy, I'd like a word with you alone."

"M-m-me…?" asked Sasuke, steam rising from his collar. "Well…okay, I think I can do that."

The Kuno Matriarch giggled to herself as she curled her finger in a "come hither" motion, and Sasuke followed behind her, leaving the Kuno siblings by themselves.

"Alright, let's cut to the chase," explained Kumicho. "I need someone to spy on my idiot husband and get information against him that I can use. Naturally, you're the best candidate."

"Me?" asked Sasuke. "Well…I don't know…"

"If you accept, not only will you be taken care of, you'll also be well-fed," said Kumicho, giving the ninja a box of cheese crackers. Sasuke immediately tucked into the box's contents.

"It's a deal!" he muttered amidst a mouthful of crackers.

Kumicho smirked to herself. This was going to be fun.

OUTSIDE OF OAK VILLAGE...

Ryoga whistled to himself as he headed out of town, palming his new scrolls as he put them in his backpack.

"Oh, yeah...ultimate power is within my grasp!" he chuckled. "Get ready, Ranma...the Ryoga you knew and humiliated so often will be a thing of the past!"

And off he went, leaving behind the dead ninja bodies in his wake. Well...dead, except for two of them.

"Dammit…he took the scroll!" groaned the first ninja. "We have to stop him before another country is lost."

"Indeed—huh? What's this?" his friend inquired as he held up a poorly-drawn map Ryoga dropped. "Is this a child's drawing?"

"I think it's a map," the first ninja commented as he pointed to a square drawn on the paper. "Look, 'Tendo Dojo' and it says Nerima; so, either that's his hideout..."

"Or his next target," the second ninja replied. "We must gather everyone who is alive and get there before it's too late!"

BOM!

And in a flash of smoke bombs, they were both gone.

NEXT EPISODE PREVIEW!

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! Ranma and Kenma are finally turning 17, and they intend to celebrate with their favorite girls! But a blast from Lum's past showing up could really put a damper on the celebration. Turns out he's an old exe who's still carrying a torch for the girl from outer space…as well as a monster appetite!

Can our boys stop this oversized beast, AND enjoy their party too?

Next time on "Mark of the Demon Cat":

Ranma and Kenma Turn 17?!
The Gluttonous Heartthrob, Rei

What more can I say, except…WE'LL SEE YOU THERE!

And don't forget to bring a present, okay?

To everyone who wants to see our boys hangin' with their girls—you might just get your wish! Let's hope Ranma and Kenma get what THEY wish for!

Also, yeah...we just set up so many future events in this chapter, so keep an eye out, alright?