Episode 35:

"The Sting of Vengeance?! A Moxibustion That Saps Power!"

JOHN BURGMEIER as Ranma/MEREDITH McCOY as Ranko
JUSTIN COOK as Kenma
JOHN SWASEY as Genma
CHUCK HUBER as Happosai
KENT WILLIAMS as Soun
KARA EDWARDS as Akane
SEAN SCHEMMEL as Ryoga
WENDY POWELL as Cologne
CYNTHIA CRANZ as Nodoka
BARRY YANDELL as Principal Kuno
TRAVIS WILLINGHAM as Tatewaki Kuno
TODD HABERKORN as Gosunkugi

It was just another run-of-the-mill day in Nerima…and that meant that Happosai was out on yet another of his insipid panty raids.

"WA-HOO! WHOOPEE!" he cackled as he bounced through town, pursued by a mob of very pissed-off girls while he twirled his latest catch atop his fingers. "WOTTA HAUL! WOTTA HAUL!"

At that exact moment, Ranma was making his way down the road while helping himself to an apple, with Kenma a few feet behind.

So the old goat's up to his old tricks again, eh? thought Ranma. Well, I'll fix him.

And so, Ranma tossed his apple out into the air, which Happosai leapt up to snap up…and the moment he did, he was swarmed by the angry women, all of who proceeded to beat the tar out of him, bashing him with broom handles and stomping him like he was a cockroach.

Kenma clutched his stomach and laughed out loud. "Hah! Got 'im good!" he beamed.

"I'll say, I'd give that an 8/10 for defeats." Ranma commented on Happosai's humiliation.

Kenma nodded. "...lunch, then?" he asked as he turned into a monkey on his shoulder.

"Alright, but you're buying," Ranma smirked.

LATER, THAT EVENING…

"RANMA!" squawked Happosai. "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

Soun was inwardly chuckling, but he put on a concerned act. "GOOD LORD, MASTER! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!" he exclaimed.

The little old troll was now covered in a beehive's worth of lumps, a black eye, and other such injuries.

"Hey, old man!" smiled Ranma. "So you made it home after all, eh? We were about to call the cops and report you missing!"

Kenma removed his noodles from his mouth. "I was about to break out the good root beer and celebrate," he replied.

Happosai fumed in anger. "You…impudent brats!" he snarled. "One by one, you're both going to pay!"

"Oooh…I'm a-shakin'~" Kenma snickered. "Yeah, yeah; whine and wail all you want, gramps. We're not gonna bow to you, so nyah-nyah!"

"Is that right?" Happosai said as he readied his pipe. "Then bow for YOUR MOXIBUSTION!" He drew back and threw a glowing hot coal at Ranma, who snapped it out of the air with his chopsticks.

"You may be the grandmaster but you're a lousy pitcher." Ranma taunted. Of course, the old man was right on his back seconds later, and he dropped another scalding hot coal right on his back. "YEEEE-AAAAAAARGH!" screamed Ranma as he leapt up in pain.

"That's one down," said Happosai, before jumping toward Kenma. "And now for—"

KA-WHAMSKI!

The old gremlin was sent rocketing through the roof and into the sky, courtesy of Kenma's fist. "Senile old idiot," the redhead scoffed. "If he thought I was gonna sit still for that, he doesn't know me very well!"

"The hell kind of punishment was that? Hot coal on my back?" Ranma asked as that was more annoying than painful.

"Could've been worse," Nabiki stated as she bit into her cookie. "He could've thrown another of his bombs into the room."

"Fair point," Ranma agreed.

"...I'm a bit concerned," said Kenma as he started back on his noodles. "I mean, usually the old man does something MORE annoying. Like turn you into a girl to perv on."

"You know how the old buzzard is, petty vengeance and throwing tantrums," shrugged Ranma, before wincing a little. "Back still hurts like a bitch, though…"

Genma looked a bit apprehensive, though. But why, exactly? Well, that's a detail for later.

AND SO, THE NEXT DAY…

Ranma, Kenma, Aki, Nabiki and Akane were on their way to school.

"Agh…dammit, my back's been bugging me all night!" the ponytailed boy grunted.

"We'll drop by Doctor Tofu during lunch period, how's that?" asked Kenma.

"Sounds good to me. Maybe he knows what's going on with me." said Ranma.

"As far as I'm concerned, you got off lucky," Akane retorted, before Kuno came racing up the street, spoiling for another rumble.

"RANMA SAOTOME, TODAY IS THE DAY YOU DIE!" he yelled.

"I got this," said Kenma. "One shot and he'll be flat on his ass."

"Don't sweat it. I'll take care of this." Ranma said confidently as he kicked the swordsman in the face. Though much to his surprise, Kuno wasn't phased.

"If that pitiful thingwas your idea of a kick, then you MUST be mocking me!" Kuno scoffed.

"Boast all ya want, but it doesn't mask the pain—" the older Saotome brother said before getting hit in the head by Kuno's Bokken.

KLONK!

"Here I thought you were a genuine threat," Kuno sneered. "NOW FIGHT ME FOR REAL, DAMN YOU!"

"What do you think I'm doing?" Ranma snapped back as he continued to hit the swordsman with countless punches and kicks…none of which had even the slightest effect on Kuno.

Of course, he received another whack in the head, which sent him sprawling on the floor.

"Ouch!" Ranma said groggily as he laid on the ground.

Kuno was, to say the least, bewildered. "...I…I beat Ranma Saotome?" he sputtered. "...then…then I have WON! Now I am free to pursue Akane Tendo—"

KRAK!

The next thing Kuno knew, he felt a baseball bat making an impact on his skull, courtesy of Akimitsu. "She's taken, idiot," the sportsman remarked.

"Thanks a lot, Aki!" Ranma said as he got up and shook his head. "Kuno really had me on the ropes there."

"But it doesn't make sense!" Akane exclaimed. "How could you lose to Kuno? You NEVER lose to Kuno!"

"I suppose we'll have to make that doctor's visit earlier, then?" Kenma responded.

Later, at Doc Tofu's office…

The doctor was taking a close look at Ranma's back while Kenma and the others stood around them.

"So, do you know what's wrong with him yet?" asked Akane.

"Hmm...let's see..." murmured Dr. Tofu as he adjusted Ranma's arms. "The bones and muscles are fine, but...what's this burn mark?"

"That's just something the old freak gave me last night." Ranma answered.

Taking out a magnifying glass, Dr. Tofu took a closer look at the burn mark.

羸

It was apparently kanji for the term "weak". As soon as Dr. Tofu saw it, his face went pale.

"Could it be…the legendary technique said to have died a century ago…" he exclaimed. "...the Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion?!"

"...what?!" the group exclaimed in unison.

Dr. Tofu pulled a book from his shelf, and leafed through it. "Let's see...mongolian measles, no...wichita whooping cough, nuh-uh...THERE! The Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion!" he exclaimed. "In ancient times, it was said that anyone who was burned by the moxibustion, even the greatest martial artist, would become as weak as a newborn baby!"

Ranma's eyes widened in realization. Then THIS was his revenge…!

Within seconds, Ranma's look of shock turned to one of anger. "That dirty old bastard…!" he fumed.

Akane looked towards Dr. Tofu. "Isn't there any way to cure him?" she asked.

A solemn look crossed the good doctor's lips. "...I'm sorry, Akane," he replied sadly. "But no."

Everyone grew shocked at that. "But that would mean…Ranma—" Akane began.

But the boy in question was already halfway out the door.

Meanwhile, all through Nerima, envelopes were falling from the sky like snowflakes.

One such envelope fell onto Ryoga's head while he was making his way through town.

Another landed in the lap of the school principal…one other was found by the school wimp…and another was found by the school's self-proclaimed rising star.

And all of these no-goodniks couldn't have been happier to learn the news:

Three little words:
RANMA
IS
WEAK!

Mousse, meanwhile, had also received one of these notes.

" 'Ranma is weak'?" he asked, removing the ball gag in his mouth. "Interesting…too bad it's not MY plot!"

"Mousse, darling~!" cooed Kodachi's voice. "Come back insiiiide~"

"Sure thing, sweetie!" Mousse responded as he replaced the gag, before looking at the camera. "...what? She's into some wild stuff! And I'm into whatever she's into!"

And on that note, he headed back inside, humming to himself.

Kenma clenched his fist around the letter as it fluttered down. "So this is the old fossil's plan…and he's probably counting on Ranma challenging him!" he exclaimed.

And at the school, just as Kenma had alluded to, Ranma was facing off with Happosai in the hallway.

"This is the best kind of vengeance, because I won't have to do a thing!" the old geezer declared. "When everyone with a grudge finds out you're weakened now, there's gonna be a line around the block to beat the crap outta you…and I'll sit back and watch the show!"

"Well, that's gonna be tough, seeing as by the time they find out, I'LL HAVE BEATEN THE CURE OUTTA YA!" Ranma shouted as he lunged, fists ready.

THWOCK!
WAM!
WOP-BOP-A-LOO-WOW, A-WHOP-BAM-BOOM!

"Good luck with that!" Happosai cackled as he sprinted away, leaving Ranma on the ground in a beaten heap.

"...which way did he go, George? Which way did he go…?" babbled Ranma as tiny stars orbited his head.

"I told you, my name's not George!" Akane insisted.

Kenma looked down with a sigh and headshake. "...you went after him, didn't you?" he asked.

"Yeah, I did." his brother said with a frown.

"Did we forget that you currently no longer have your power…?" Kenma asked, in an I'm-not-mad-just-disappointed tone of voice.

"I guess I just got a little…desperate." Ranma explained.

"More than a little," Akane sighed. "Look, we've got to keep you out of sight until we can figure something out. And I have an idea."

"...is it tying him up and putting him in the equipment shed?" asked Kenma. "And you don't think the teachers won't ask questions about where he is?"

"Oh, well…yeah. That was my first thought." the tomboy admitted.

Out of view, the trio heard Happosai screaming as he flew through the air, certain to land on his face.

"Guess Lock found the old man again," commented Kenma. "Anyways, let's get you to class and make like everything is normal."

"You'd think Happosai would learn by now," Akane stated as she watched Happosai go flying into the distance.

"All he learns is how to make MORE mistakes," Kenma responded.

A LITTLE BIT LATER…

Of course, Akane had chosen to fall back on her first plan: tie and gag Ranma and leave him in the equipment shed until they could find a cure.

Kenma informed her this was a stupid idea, but Akane informed him that they didn't really have any other options.

So, for the time being, Ranma was left to squirm and grouse to himself while the others had to make excuses for his absence or cover for him.

Dammit, Akane…if you think I'm just gonna hide like a coward, then you don't know anything about me! he thought as he was in the dark…which was soon illuminated by a candle.

"Ranma…I see you're stuck…" observed Gosunkugi as he undid his ropes. "Let me give you a hand or two."

"Gosunkugi?" Ranma asked. "I figured you'd have a pretty big grudge against me."

"Who, me?" responded the emaciated mummy of a student. "Goodness, no! …I'm just gonna wait until they take their turns with you!"

And before Ranma could get in a response, he was shoved out of the equipment room, right out in the open.

"ALOOOOOO—HA!" exclaimed an unpleasantly familiar voice, as Ranma dodged an oncoming razor being held by Principal Kuno. "You was givin' de big kahuna a whooole lotta disrespect…but now that'cha strength has dried up, me gonna give you one WHOPPA of a buzzcut!"

Ranma drew back and gave him one of his usual kicks…but this time it didn't even make him flinch. Instead, he just laughed!

"Hoo-ha! Was dat supposed ta hurt?" he exclaimed, before attacking Ranma again with more and more jabs from his razors.

All Ranma could do to stay ahead was dodge. He might've lost his strength, but he still had his speed.

"Now hold still and me won't have to get rough wit' cha!" The principal said as he swung his clippers, while Ranma darted and dodged…before getting conked on the head by Kuno's bokken.

"How pitiful, Saotome; resorting to subversive literature," he scoffed. "JUST ADMIT THAT I DEFEATED YOU FAIR AND SQUARE!"

"Nothing 'fair' about it!" Ranma snapped as he charged again…only to get another bonk on the head. Even Gosunkugi whacked him a few times with his tiny mallet.

"Say, this is actually pretty fun!" he giggled. "I wonder why I didn't do it a few minutes ago?"

Ranma was fast, but he wasn't fast enough to avoid his attackers. They were gradually cornering him, and he was running out of places to dart to.

Never thought I'd do this…but….

Kenma…help….

MEANWHILE, IN CLASS…

The redheaded boy in question was in the middle of writing something when he picked up his big brother's thoughts.

Kenma…help…surrounded…all sides….!

Immediately, his face hardened into a grim visage. Hang in there. I'm on my way.

And, putting his pencil aside, he quickly darted out of the classroom.

BACK OUTSIDE…

Things were not looking good for Ranma; he was up against the wall, cornered by three of his most bothersome enemies.

Any other day of the week, he could have wiped the floor with all three of them, not to mention a wax and buff-job. But today? Today, things were not in his favor.

"Time for that haircut, brudda!"

"Now nothing's gonna stand in my way of getting with Akane."

"I shall smite thine wickedness for good!"

Dammit! I can't move! Ranma thought as he tried to stand.

"HEY!" called a gruff voice. "You're real big, pickin' on someone who can't even fight back!"

At this, all three of the assailants looked up to see…

[Cue the music:
Piccolo's Theme by Shunsuke Kikuchi]

"KENMA SAOTOME?!" they all exclaimed.

There, in front of Ranma, stood the boy himself, clad in Piccolo's outfit; cape, turban, and all.

"The one and only," Kenma declared. "I'm going to take my brother, we're going to leave, and you're not going to do a damn thing about it."

"Before ya go, lemme give y'all a little present." Principal Kuno said before throwing one of his pineapple bombs at the boys. "Somethin' new I had de boys in de lab whip up!"

Kenma grabbed Ranma and leapt out of the way before the bomb exploded behind them.

"Thanks, Ken! I thought I was a goner." the older Saotome brother said groggily.

"Think nothing of it," smiled Kenma. "I'm glad to help. But I'll take care of these idiots."

"Go for it." Ranma urged. "I'm tapped out."

Kenma set Ranma down off to the side, then got into a fighting stance. "Alright, pinheads, make your move." he declared.

"You shall be the first to perish, Kenma Saotome!" Kuno said as he charged at the redheaded boy.

"Me hope ya like crew cuts!"

"I'll bury you both together!"

Kenma cracked his knuckles, then leapt forth. First, he elbowed Principal Kuno, sending him flying into the wall. Next, he broke Kuno's bokken over his head, sending him to the ground…and finally, he materialized in front of Gosunkugi.

"...boo," he sneered.

The scrawny little schmuck yelped like a little dog and ran off, his tail between his legs.

"Hah! That's what ya get!" Ranma said, still weak from the fight.

Kenma soon made his way back over to Ranma, but before he could pick him up, he sensed a sudden new ki signature arriving.

Whirling around to face it, he saw that it was Ryoga.

"Late as usual, I see," Kenma commented. "I take it you've heard the news and have come looking for your pound of flesh, so to speak."

"That's right, Kenma. As soon as I heard the news, I just had to take a shot at your weakling brother." Ryoga said with a devious smirk.

"I ain't a weakling!" Ranma protested.

Kenma raised a brow. "I see…not even bothering with the 'upstanding guy' act this time?" he responded. "Mister 'I hate guys who pick on wealkings'?"

"The way I see it, I'm putting him out of his misery." The lost boy explained.

"And who said that was your choice to make?" Kenma asked.

"Of course, you could try to stop me." Ryoga said as he assumed his stance.

Kenma chuckled darkly. "I don't 'try'—I just do," he retorted while getting into a fighting stance.

Something seems different about him, he thought. A new technique, maybe? Some new weapon? Or has he just switched to a different deodorant?

Ryoga roared as he charged at Kenma.

The redheaded boy got into a familiar stance as Ryoga attacked. "KA! ME! HA! ME!...HA!" he exclaimed, firing his energy blast straight at the lost boy.

But this time, Ryoga caught the beam in his hands. "That won't work a second time!"

"The hell?" Kenma asked in shock and disbelief.

"I've been doing a little training of my own." Ryoga said before sending the blast right back at Kenma.

"Oh, shit!" Kenma shouted as he tried to hold back the blast so it didn't hit the school by accident. Good thing I didn't use my full power…or I might've really been in trouble!

Fortunately, he managed to deflect it into the sky.

Suddenly Ryoga appeared right in front of the redheaded boy and threw a punch which he quickly blocked and countered with a high kick. But the lost boy ducked under the kick and spun around to Kenma's back, delivering a swift but powerful elbow.

"AGH!" Kenma went flying a few feet before recovering with a backflip. "Ya friggin' lunatic, are you TRYING to blow the school up?!"

"Not the school! Just you!" Ryoga called.

"I see…so you're finally letting your true colors shine forth!" Kenma remarked.

"Yep! I've got nothin' left to hide!"

"You sure…about that…" called Ranma. "...Wilbur?"

…okay, so Ryoga did have ONE thing left to hide.

Kenma's eyes widened before he smirked. "He's right," he said. "And that means we still have some leverage over you!"

The lost boy growled in frustration. "If it wasn't for my secret-!"

"I'm in no mood for your usual crap," Kenma stated. "I know how you think, Ryoga…you would rather defeat Ranma at his full power so you could really enjoy the victory. Doing it to him when he's like THIS…what would it prove, that you can kick a man while he's down? La-dee-friggin'-dah."

"Ya got me, Kenma. It wouldn't be fun to beat on someone who can't fight back." Ryoga admitted.

Kenma sighed quietly. I was bluffing there, but I guess I got lucky, he thought. It was while grasping at straws, but I bought us some time.

He went over and picked Ranma up. "We're going home," he said. "Might as well get started on packing up."

"You're right, but could ya put me down?" the ponytailed boy asked.

"That depends. Are you hurt?" his brother responded.

"It's only a few scratches, Ken," Ranma tried to bluff. But when he pulled himself to his feet, he found himself overwhelmed by a feeling of unimaginable pain shooting through his midsection.

"Agh! Dammit!" he cried out as he fell to his knees.

Kenma glanced down at his big brother. "'Only a few scratches', was it?" he asked.

"Alright, you can carry me," Ranma relented.

So Kenma bent down and picked his brother up in his arms before they left the area.

LATER THAT DAY…

Ukyo was sweeping in front of her restaurant as Tsubasa was taking out the trash. As they did, they saw Kenma passing by with Ranma in his arms.

"Hey guys, I was just about to—" Ukyo began before she saw Ranma in Kenma's arms and gasped. "Ranma-honey, what happened? Come inside where it's safe!"

Kenma brought him inside and propped him up in a chair before sitting down. "It's a bit of a long story, so I'll just tell it to ya straight," he declared.

"This have anything to do with the fliers all over town?" Tsubasa asked as he held up a 'Ranma is Weak' flier.

"Sadly, yes." Kenma confirmed, before he started to explain the whole thing.

AND SO, A FEW MINUTES LATER…

"...and that's why we're here," Kenma concluded. "Well, whaddya know? I guess it wasn't that long after all."

"I knew Happosai was petty, but to go this far?" Ukyo said before she hugged Ranma. "I'm so sorry this had to happen to you sweetie."

"I guess if you don't have your strength, you can't inherit the schools," commented Tsubasa.

"I don't CARE about inheriting the schools!" Ranma responded. "...without my strength, I'm no good to anybody. It was something I developed on my own—mostly—and it was something I could really take pride in. One of the few things in my life I had some degree of control over…and now it's gone."

"Oh! I never really thought of it that way." the young actor reflected.

"Don't worry, Ranma," Ukyo said as she put a hand on his shoulder. "Even if it takes a lifetime, we're gonna find a way to help get your strength back."

"Yeah!" Kenma nodded. "We'll ALL pitch in!"

"We're with you, 100%!" Tsubasa steadfastly exclaimed.

"So it doesn't bother you, huh?" asked Ranma. "Your boyfriend being a wimp?"

"Honey, you're about the farthest thing from a wimp that I can think of," the chef stated.

Ranma smiled and tried to keep the others from noticing that his eyes were now wet with tears.

"Guys, we still gotta figure out HOW to cure it," said Kenma. "And…as unsure as I am about this, we should probably ask Cologne. She tends to be knowledgeable on those topics."

"You're right, she might know a way around this and cure me of this weakness." Ranma stated in a hopeful tone.

AT THE CAT CAFÉ…!

"I have no way to fix this," Cologne bluntly stated after she'd heard everything.

"WHAT?!" exclaimed the group.

"I'm sorry, son-in-law, but this is permanent," said Cologne as Ranma's face fell.

"Don't you know anyone who can fix my brother?" Kenma pleaded to the wise amazon elder.

"Hm, well, there is a Dojo not far from here that knows exactly how to utilize and fix the Moxibustion Point," Cologne informed the teens.

"Ya-hoo!" Ranma cheered at this tidbit.

"Unfortunately, they got robbed a century ago and lost the only chart to cure the Moxibustion," Cologne finished what she was saying.

"D'oh!" Ranma cringed at the reveal.

"...chances of finding it are about a trillion to one," Kenma sighed.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" asked Tsubasa.

"For once, I'm stumped," said Kenma.

"I do have good news and bad news though," Cologne told the group. "The good news is that 100 years ago, they got a good look at said thief and made a sketch of the perp."

"That's great news!" Kenma shouted with some joy. "Now we can find this person's family and ask them if they still have the chart."

"What's the bad news?" Ukyo asked, wondering what the bad news could be.

"Here's the sketch in question," Cologne said as she pulled out the paper…

…revealing a wanted poster of a younger Happosai from 100 years ago.

Kenma stood up and got to his feet. "MOTHERFUCKER…!" he bellowed into the sky.

OUTSIDE, IN THE BACKYARD...

Kasumi had lit a small fire. "OK, if there's anything you want to get rid of, toss it in," she called.

Happosai dumped out a pile of useless crap he'd stolen over his three centuries of life. "Hmm, gotta keep this…" he said, holding up a plastic fish toy. "...can't get rid of this…" he muttered, holding a watering can. "Oooh, cannot get rid of THESE~" he commented, holding up a few old dirty magazines. He gave them a few sniffs. "They smell kinda funny, though…"

Next, he got to a little handheld mirror. "What's this?" he asked. "...definitely a keeper, that's what."

Finally, he got to a piece of paper with what looked like a diagram of a human body. "Well, what the heck is THIS thing?" he asked. "Well, couldn't be that important if I forget it."

Just as the old man was about to throw the paper into the fire, Ranma swooped in and grabbed it. "OH, NO YA DON'T!"

"Aw, yeah!" Kenma exclaimed. "Way to go, bro!"

"Well then, I guess that must be important to someone," Happosai said as he hopped up and grabbed the paper out of Ranma's hand. "Considering that's the chart for the Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion!"

"Hand it over, old man!" shouted Ranma as he lunged.

Happosai stuck out his tongue. "Sure, if you can take it from me!" he mocked.

The ponytailed boy growled in immense frustration before running towards the miniscule geezer.

"RANMA! STOP!" Kenma shouted.

Before he could heed his brother's warning, Happosai punched Ranma in the stomach and kicked him in the back, launching him into the koi pond.

Kenma sighed, facepalming. "Shortsighted dope…doesn't bother looking, he just leaps!" he muttered.

Ranma lifted his head up from the water and spat out one of the fish.

"Come on, sonny-boy. Eyes on the prize!" cackled Happosai as he waved the paper mockingly. "Here I thought ya wanted this!"

"Aren't you gonna give him any pointers?" Tsubasa asked Kenma.

"If he'd listen, maybe!" Kenma replied. "But he ALWAYS jumps in without thinking. I swear, it's his biggest shortcoming."

"Either way, we might have to jump in sooner, rather than later." Ukyo suggested.

"Alright, then," Kenma said. "As much as I love him, chances are Ranma's gonna try something stupid and realize too late he has no way to get himself out."

Right at that moment, Ranma turned into Ranko and tried to lure the little gremlin with her feminine wiles.

"Something stupid, like that," Kenma pointed out.

"Come and get it, ya little wart!" the redheaded girl said while opening her shirt to expose her bust. "I know what you're cravin'!"

"That's very unbecoming of you, Ranma," Happosai said, feigning sophistication. "Exposing yourself like that. For shame."

"Huh?" Ranko exclaimed as she turned back into Ranma.

"It's just not as fun when you can't fight back," said Happosai. "Plus, it gets boring beating you up so often."

"DON'T YOU GIMME THAT 'HIGH-ROAD' BALONEY!" shouted Ranma. "YOU'RE JUST DOIN' THIS TO MOCK ME!"

"I mean, I expected more of a challenge, at least," Happosai shrugged. "But I guess I couldn't expect you to outsmart me—that's just not your style!"

Ranma, I know he's mocking you, but he's EXPECTING you to overreact, Kenma said via his psychic link. So just calm down, take a deep breath…and why am I even doing this? You're probably not even LISTENING.

"I hear ya, Ken."

Funny, that didn't seem to apply earlier. Say you got to him…what exactly wouldja do then? Remember—in case you forgot—YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR STRENGTH RIGHT NOW!

"I know, but it's just so frustrating not being able to fight back."

Then do the unexpected. USE YOUR HEAD NEXT TIME!

"Alright, but why are you always yelling?"

How else am I supposed to get my point across? You'd never listen otherwise! You just charge in head-first. Sure, that might've managed to work when you have your strength, but this is different.

"As much as I hate to admit it, you have a point."

Course I do! He's trying to goad you, so you've got to lure him in. If he sees you're not pursuing, he'll get curious and come a-looking. Then, you outmaneuver him! He may have taken your power, but NOT your speed!

"Yeah, thank God he didn't take my speed," said Ranma.

"Well, Ranma? Feel like takin' another shot at the master?" called Happosai.

"Actually, no," responded Ranma as he turned and walked off, much to the old man's befuddlement.

"That's right, I knew you'd continue to—say what now?" Happosai gloated before he did a double take.

"Yep! You're just too strong for me, much as it makes me sick to say it," said Ranma. "So I'm not going to stick around and be your punching bag any longer."

"Hey! Get back here!" Happosai squawked. "This is a perfect opportunity to throw your life away!"

"All the more reason for me not to take it," Ranma responded dismissively as he headed back inside.

What the hell's the matter with him? The old gremlin pondered, hopping after him. A minute ago he was fuming, seething—ready to throw himself at me!

But as he went inside the dojo, he narrowly avoided getting smashed by Akane's mallet.

"Whoa! What do ya think you're doin', Akane?" Happosai asked, feigning ignorance.

"You know DAMN WELL what!" Akane hissed. "And I know what you did, you little panty-crazed sex goblin: that ultimate-weakness moxibustion!"

"Akane, do you really think I'd do such a thing?" asked Happosai, having the nerve to act offended at such an accusation.

"YES!" the Tendo middle child screamed.

"...well, in that case, you're right!" Happosai declared.

"What's going on?" asked Soun as he and Kasumi came inside the dojo. "What's with all the shouting?"

ONE EXPLANATION LATER…

"WHAT?! RANMA'S WEAKENED?!" Soun exclaimed.

Seconds later, he had his hands wrapped around Happosai's neck, squeezing him like a dish towel.

"Soun, you're killing me!" wheezed the old goat.

"I HOPE I'M THAT LUCKY!" roared the mustached man. "FIX HIM NOW, OR ELSE I'LL SQUEEZE HARDER!"

"And if he doesn't snap your neck, we'll cut you to ribbons!" Kasumi said with her usual smile while brandishing a Rapier, right next to Nodoka and Atsuko who were both holding katanas to his sides.

"...where did you get those?" asked Soun.

"Jinn taught me," Kasumi smiled.

Happosai snorted. "Listen, you…when, in all my rotten life, have I ever learned a technique that would HELP anyone?!" he retorted.

"What do you mean?" Akane asked.

"I MEAN, even if I knew how to cure Ranma, I would never do it," Happosai responded. "Besides, it's MUCH more fun having him be a pitiful weakling. Because one, he can't ruin my fun anymore. Two, his girl side is my plaything for as long as I want. And three, that means I get to be the Grand Master of the Anything Goes School forever!"

"So face facts, Ranma: you can stay a pitiful weakling for the rest of your life!" Happosai cackled. "Chew on that! I would've gotten Kenma too, but…eh, it wasn't worth the effort. Not like he'd take over the school."

Tsubasa whacked the little toad over his head. "That's enough outta you, perv!"

"Go ahead, beat me up as much as you like!" Happosai mocked. "It won't matter, because I won! Ranma's never gonna be strong again, so nyah-nyah!"

"Well you heard him, guys. He's not gonna help." Ranma said in a very matter of fact tone. "Which means he's completely useless to us."

"And you know what that means, don't you?" Kenma added as he went over to comfort his brother.

"Yep! It's time to cut to the chase." Nodoka said with a devilish grin.

So the women and Tsubasa proceeded to beat the snot out of Happosai while Ranma and Kenma left the room.

During the scuffle, Genma took the scroll from Happosai's free hand.

This could come in handy later, he thought to himself. If Ranma even DARES to want his strength back…he'll have to go through the one who trained him! Poetic, is it not? I'd certainly say so!

That night, Ranma, Kenma, and Ukyo each packed their bags and left Nerima at 4AM in the morning. Neither of them told anyone else where they were going, or how long they would be gone.

All that mattered was figuring out how they would beat Happosai at this game. It wouldn't be a matter of strength—but of speed and skill.

IN OUR NEXT EPISODE…

So Akane decided to investigate and she found out that our terrific trio went off into the woods to do some training. Naturally, Genma came along, claiming that he "had to be there for his ungrateful sons", but don't be surprised that he has ulterior motives in mind.

Plus, Ranma's going to learn a few new techniques…but let's see how this plays out!

NEXT TIME:
"An Icy Soul and Super Speed?
The Secret of the World-King Technique"