Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Saga. I own twitchy fingers that enjoy writing for no profit.
Chapter 15: Routines and Real Friends
Slowly, over the next few weeks, I began to build myself a rough routine; Wake, shower, dress, breakfast, school, La Push, home, and bed. I was careful not to be too rigid with keeping to it - it would do me no good to have forced myself out of one regimented lifestyle, only to fall into another, albeit more healthy one.
So I was happy to vary my routine if necessary - if Charlie wanted to spend some time with me, or if Angela and/or Ben offered to hang out one evening - but for the most part anyone who cared enough to be interested, would have a pretty good idea where I could be found at any given time.
On school days, I'd get myself up, before Charlie if I could to save us both from his breakfasts, and head off to school, where I'd split my time between talking with Ben and Angela, ignoring Mike, (who clearly wasn't intelligent enough to understand the concept of pretending someone didn't exist, if his pointed comments whenever I was in hearing range about how "Some people might assume that a girl who spent all her free time with a group of large, toned boys on the Rez, was spreading her legs for them all, not that he thought so, but some people might." were anything to go by) avoiding Lauren (who, having had her usual bullying outlet of vicious gossip-mongering cut off, had embarked on a campaign of "accidental" locker shoulder checks, toe crushings, and book bag whackings) and sometimes some actual studying.
After school I'd alternate between spending a little time in my hollow before heading over to the Black's place, going to the diner on the beach to hang out with Jacob, Quil, and Embry before heading over to the Black's place, and spending some time volunteering at the tribe's drop-in centre, where I might find myself doing anything from looking after the young children whose parents worked late, or cooking for the Rez's "Meals on Wheels" project, to tutoring kids from the Rez high school who needed extra help... before heading over to the Black's place.
My time in my little hollow was always peaceful and calming, and I began to find that the peace I acchieved lasted longer and longer into the following days. By experimenting at night, after waking from my nightmares and then again later each night from my other dreams, I discovered that I could find a similar peace through imagining the sounds of the waves and matching my breathing to the rhythm, allowing myself to completely relax and mentally float away, but while it was similar, it wasn't quite the same quality of calm and relaxation I would find on the beach, so I continued to visit my spot when I could.
My time hanging with Jake, Quil, and Embry was relaxing in a different way. They had such a joy for life about them, such an energy, that I couldn't help but feel swept up along with them, and my smiles, which since I crawled out of my pit had almost always been small and reserved, began to feel more natural on my face, and would break out more freely and often. Getting to know them on that first poker night had been a revelation to me of how friends could be as close as brothers and, after riding out about half an hour of Quil's indignation at being schooled and fleeced by a girl, I was proud that he had accepted me as a member of the group as close to him as either of the other two. Embry had accepted me with open arms after the first hand I flattened him with, his more calm, quiet manner was a relaxing balm to the inner turmoil I had been feeling. They had both been so sceptical when Jake walked me in to his kitchen that night, where the other two boys were already sitting, loudly mocking each other about who was going to be leaving with all the money.
"Guys, I've brought us a fourth to play, we can finally get a proper game going." Jake said, wandering in ahead of me, I was completely hidden behind him, his giant form totally obscuring their view of my much smaller one.
"Cool." Came a voice from the left of the table, "Always nice to have fresh meat. As long as he doesn't bitch to much when I take all his money, he's more than welcome."
"When who takes his money" this voice was quieter, but filled with amusement at the other boy's bravado. "I think you'll find, if you think back carefully, that I've taken a hell of a lot more money off you in the past than the other way round." I smiled at the friendly banter and peered around Jake to catch a glimpse of his friends.
"This is Bella, guys. Try not to be quite as weird as you normally are. We wouldn't want to scare her off now, would we? Bella, this is Quil" He pointed at the loud one, "and Embry." He jerked his head towards the quieter boy. Giving them each a shove, Jake sat down at the table with them, and I stepped over to pull out my own chair.
"Hi guys." I gave a little wave. "I hope you don't mind me joining your game. I've only ever played against Jake or my dad, so I thought doing a proper poker night might be fun." I said truthfully, not adding the fact that I always wiped the floor with both of them.
"Erm. Hi Bella. Nice to meet you." Said Embry politely, sending Jake a questioning glance.
"Yeah hi there." Said Quil with a slightly leering smile. "So nice to meet you. I'm Quil Ateara. But you remember me, right?" I looked at him, confused, and turned to Jake for assistance, but before Jake could speak, Quil snapped his fingers and said "Oh no, thats right; we've only met in my dreams." Jake and Embry rolled their eyes and snorted at his over the top flirting and I blushed, not knowing quite how to react.
"Erm. Ok. Well" I had no idea what to say. Luckily, Embry rescued me.
"Don't mind him, Bella. He swallowed about five pounds of cheese when he was little, and it's been coming out ever since in the form of god-awful pick up lines." I giggle a little and started to relax. Quil gave Embry's shoulder a rough shove, then turned to Jake.
"Dude. A girl? I thought we were going to get a proper game going. Now we'll spend half the night explaining over and over that a flush beats a straight. No offense" he added hurriedly, turning back to me. I waved him off.
"None taken. It's ok. I know the rules. I'll try not to bather you with questions all night." Out the corner of my eye I could see Jake bating the inside of his mouth, trying desperately not to laugh.
"So shall we play? Or just spend the evening talking about it?" He asked his friends, and we all dug out our change while Embry shuffled and began to deal. I methodically lost hand after hand, raising when I should fold, and folding when I should re-raise and after an hour or so, not only was I down to my last few coins, but I had faded into the background as far as Jake's friends were concerned. They chatted amongst themselves as if I wasntr even there and I was free to watch each of them and learn their tells. Embry would tap his left heel repeatedly when he was excited, and blink too much when bluffing. Quil rubbed the tip of his thumb against the tips of his fore and middle fingers on his left hand when bluffing, and checked his cards too often when he thought he had a good hand. I don't need to watch Jake; I already knew that he bit the inside of his mouth when he had a decent hand, and rubbed the back of his neck when bluffing. Finally I got the hand I'd been waiting for; a pair of jacks. Not the best I could hope for, but enough to work with. I sighed.
"Guess I've got no choice but to play this hand." I said, sounding resigned. "I won't have enough for the ante on the next one. Embry smiled sympathetically and just called, jake, knowing what I was up to, wisely folded, but Quil shot me a crafty grin and said. "Sorry, Bella. Maybe I should be chivalrous and just fold, but this hands too good to waste, and I bet Embry on the way over that I'd clean out whoever Jake brought to join us. Nothing personal. I will just call instead of raising though." He added, after getting stern glares from the other two. I looked at his left hand. Rub rub rub. I shrugged and gave a sad nod. Jake dealt the flop. A six, a nine, and a jack, all unsuited. I checked, and Embry followed suit, but Quil raised, forcing me all in. With all our cards face up on the table (my pair of jacks, Embry's queen and jack of hearts, and Quil's seven and ten of clubs - I knew he had nothing good) Jake dealt the last two cards a three of spades and a four of diamonds. I smiled and pulled the pot over in front of me. "Finally. I won a hand! I gave a little fake squeal of excitement and saw Jake cover his smile with one hand.
"Well done, Bella. You live on for another hand." Embry said, and Quil gave me a little grin.
"I'll get you next time." He jokingly shook his fist at me, and Embry took over the deal. I started to play properly, raking in pot after pot after pot, til it was just Quil and I left. He was down to just a few coins, while in front of me was a veritable mountain of change. I had a nothing hand. A pair of threes, with nothing of use in the flop. I judged that Quil had at least a pair of tens, maybe the start of a straight, but I was raising him hard, and when the turn card was dealt, I made a bet that would put him all in. He chickened out and folded. He only had enough left for one last hand, and Embry dealt. I got a pair of kings, but I just checked, faking a bad hand. Quil saw his chance and tried to bluff big, like he had a pair of aces. I just checked when I could, and called him at his every raise and let him go all in, trying to force me to fold. When he saw my hand he was livid, knowing I'd played him. Of course it didn't help his mood anyway when the final card dealt was another king, giving me three of a kind, when he still had a handful of nothing. He sulked for the next half hour, while Jake and Embry laughed at his childishness, and I was a little worried I'd alienated one of Jakes friends, but once he'd finished sulking, Quil gave me a little grin and said.
"Guess that's what I get for assuming girls can't play poker, eh?" I laughed and told him
"Don't feel too bad, Quil. Neither Jake nor my dad have ever beaten me, and Billy refuses point blank to play with me after Jake and Charlie told him about how I play." Quil's answering grin turned a little evil.
"Sometime, we should take you to play the Elders. They hold a pretty big game once a month. You could make us all rich" he gave a 'Bond bad guy/Dr Evil' kind of laugh, and rubbed his hands melodramatically and we all burst out laughing.
It had been a fun night, and I'd made two new, good friends.
Jake, Quil, Embry, and I made an arrangement to play every Friday night, though the boys all begged that we only play for change once a month and stick to matches or bottle tops the rest of the time. I didn't mind. I wasn't playing to make money, just to enjoy the company of my new friends. The last Friday though, Embry hadn't shown up. Apparently he'd been off school, sick for a few days, and neither I nor the others had heard from him. I hoped he was ok.
My time at the drop-in centre often found me bumping into Sam. Apparently he'd been volunteering there for years, and I really enjoyed working with him. Banging elbows with him in the kitchen as we cooked meals for the older members of the tribe who struggled to look after themselves, watching him play dress-up with the really little kids while I refereed a pool tournament between the older ones, and sitting opposite him at a table while each of us talked high school kids through whatever homework assignments they were struggling with. My noticing Sam's attractiveness before, had crossed into a little crush on the guy, and I was strangely ok with that. As the days went by, I was gradually beginning to let go of Him, not just in my head, but also with my heart, and as the pain slowly faded, bit by bit, so my crush on Sam grew. I knew I didn't stand a chance at dating him; he was always kind and friendly, and often joked with me, but I wasn't going to let myself read anything into it. I might've been looking a lot healthier, having put some weight back on, gotten rid of most of the bags under my eyes, and having spent a lot of time outdoors, which made my skin look more like skin and less like tracing paper, but I wasn't stupid enough to imagine myself in his league, and so I very carefully didn't allow myself to imagine he might ever be interested in me in any way other that as a friend.
The only sour point to my time in La Push was the issues Jake, Quil and Embry had with Sam, Jared, and their friend Paul. My friends really didn't like them, calling them hall monitors gone mad, and insinuating that Sam was running a gang on the Rez. I didn't understand what their problem with Sam or Jared was. Both of them were great guys, and whenever I spent time with either or both of them, I really enjoyed myself, but Jake, Quil and embry either couldn't or wouldn't see in them what I saw.
Them disliking Paul, I could kind of understand though. One time at the drop-in centre, I was stuck with tutoring him. He was a truly strange guy. I could feel the anger and resentment rolling off him, but whenever he lost his cool, and opened his mouth to (I assume) curse at me, he seemed to end up lost for words, his mouth opening and closing with just a choked, almost strangled noise coming from him, as the anger in his eyes increased and his hands even shook with fury. I guessed that a lot of his anger came from his struggles in school. I could tell he wasn't stupid, but he had real problems with his reading, his writing was dreadful, and his spelling worse. I ended up picking up some literature about dyslexia for him from the councillor at my school, but I was a bit nervous to give it to him. Maybe I'd give it to Sam and ask him to pass it on. I was fairly certain that was where Paul's difficulties lay, and with the right support, there was no reason why he shouldn't do just as well as any of his class mates.
After the drop-in centre, or the diner, or spending time alone in my hollow, my time over at the Black's was spent watching Jake fix the bikes, and also cooking for Jake, Billy, Charlie and myself. With me spending so much time on the Rez, Charlie had taken to joining me at Billy's for dinner as a group. It worked out well for all of us; I still got to cook and spend time with Charlie, he got to hang out with his best friend, and all three guys got to eat healthy, home-cooked, tasty meals instead of constant take out and TV dinners. Everyone was happy.
The bikes were almost ready though, and I had to decide before much longer if I thought I was ready to make a bigger change and go from 'quiet and cautious Bella' to a Bella who takes a risk every now and then.
Ever since the rogue bear had been seen by the surviving hiker, there had been numerous sightings reported, though no more missing hikers. Charlie said that with a dangerous bear on the loose, people had stopped going out into the forest, and that it would be that way until the bear was found and destroyed. Whatever the reason for it, his workload at the station was once again back to normal for a town the size of Forks, so we were able to enjoy more time together, particularly on the weekends. As much as I wasn't really interested in fishing, I would still go with him one day each weekend, and take along my homework. We would sit together, side by side on the banks of he river, often in a companionable silence as he fished and I studied, juggling my books, pens, notebooks, and the large umbrella I always took to protect myself and my homework from the ever present rain. At Charlie's insistence, we never went far from the road on our fishing trips, always remaining in sight of my truck in case of the rogue bear making an appearance. Perhaps it was this nearness to passing traffic that caused the feeling of being watched that I sometimes got. I should say feelings of being watched as there were two distinct impressions; One was completely benign, the sort of feeling I might get on a train, noticing another passenger looking at me for want of anything else to stare at, whereas the second feeling was much more uncomfortable. There was a sort of uncomfortable itch to it, a danger, which would set me on edge whenever I felt it, and leave me rolling my shoulders, trying to alleviate the tension. I only mentioned it once to Charlie, as the one time I did, he immediately packed us up, cutting short our outing, and quickly getting us back into the truck and on the way home. I guessed he figured it might've been the bear prowling about, as he certainly looked pretty tense himself.
The other day of my weekend would be spent catching up with the week's laundry, finishing up my homework, and making a run to the Rez grocery store. After the gossip incident at the supermarket in Forks, Charlie point blank refused to spend another penny there, preferring the higher prices, longer drive, and more limited choice of the Rez store. I knew that before long I'd have to make a run to the larger supermarket in Port Angeles to stock up on things I just couldn't get at the Rez store, but I wasn't going to complain; he was showing his support of me in a very clear way to the gossips. Sending them a message that said "Don't mess with my daughter".
When Charlie had questioned the bruises on my arms from locker checks, and I'd told him what was going on, he had asked me if I wanted him to make a complaint to the principal about Lauren's new tactics and I'd asked him not to. She wasn't able to do much more than she already was without getting herself in a lot of trouble, and petty though it might've been, I really wanted to give her enough rope to hang herself. Sooner or later she'd go too far, and despite always being the one on the receiving end at the moment, I was looking forward to seeing her get what she had coming.
And so this was how my life carried on, until the last Sunday in February, which is when one phone call was the the beginning of everything changing. Again.
Maybe a little too much detail on the poker game? Let me know; Quil's not the only one Bella will end up schooling over a pack of cards in this story, so I'd appreciate the feedback so that when I write the next poker game, I can make improvements if needed.