Hello, my loverly interweb peeps.
So of course it had once again been an age since I last updated. It seems pretty much standard now that I offer you all an apology before each chapter. But I'm going to break with tradition here and not apologise.
I will however give you a few keywords to describe the extreme crappiness that has characterised 2015 for me: Arthritis, extreme weather, understaffing, sick 8 yr old boy, lyme disease, chronic fatigue and joint hypermobility syndrome.
Hopefully these keywords will give you all an insight as to why updates have become sporadic, and whilst future update may continue to be so, I confirm once again that I have no intention of abandoning the story.
My heart-felt thanks to everyone that reviewed and sent me PMs, checking on me and encouraging me to continue.
Now...it's come to my attention that this story is already a leviathan, and I've got to tell you, there's still looooads left of my original storyline, and if I choose to follow a possible extra twist that has been niggling at me, then there's even more to come. So do I keep plugging away at it as one 'book'? Or do I find a closing point for this part, mark it as complete, and then begin a new 'book' as a sequal? You opinions on this matter would be very much appreciated.
Enough from me - and back to Bella and Sam... Enjoy :0)
Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Saga. I own twitchy fingers that enjoy writing for no profit.
Chapter 40: Connections and objections.
My sleep on the way home was, thankfully, dreamless. I was very aware that I often talked in my sleep, and Sam and I had more than enough to discuss before we got into the whole Taha Aki dreams thing which would've been unavoidable if I started jabbering away without knowing it on the drive. I was woken by Sam gently stroking my face.
"Bella? Bella, Baby, wake up, we're back." Fighting back a gaping yawn I dragged my eyes open and found myself staring straight into his. Sam leaned in to kiss me, but I quickly ducked my head, trying not to feel guilty at his disappointed frown.
"We need to get inside and cleaned up." I explained to him with an apologetic shrug. "I've got a feeling that if we took the time for even an innocent little kiss right now, with the way we are with each other things would get very out of hand, very quickly, and that's not really the way I was planning on letting Charlie know about us." He chuckled. "Or the neighbours for that matter." I added, turning his low chuckle into a loud laugh.
Reaching up to cup his cheek, I stroked my thumb across his light stubble and smiled as a little more of the gross sink scum-confetti flaked away. "Come on, you need a shower as badly as I do. And no." I added quickly at his little smirk and raised brow "showering together when my dad is due home before much longer is not the best plan." I chuckled and flicked at his pouting bottom lip as I opened the door and lowered myself stiffly out of the truck.
Once inside the house, I glanced quickly at the clock, and wanting to minimise the chances of Sam having to face an awkward moment sitting alone with a curious Charlie when he arrived home, I claimed first shower, only just managing to hold back my giggle at Sam's disappointed expression when he realised I was serious about not showering together…this time anyway. I reached out and squeezed his hand consolingly. "Maybe next time we can share" I murmured with a blush, my colour only growing deeper when I saw his eyes darken at the thought. I swallowed hard and breathed deep to hold back my own desire, and muttering something incoherent about leaving a towel out for him in the bathroom, I ran up the stairs as fast as my stiff and sore muscles would allow me, stumbling several times on the way.
I found myself torn between a cold shower to check my lust for more with Sam than was sensible with Charlie likely to show up at any moment, and a hot shower to help relieve the stiffness in what seemed like every muscle in my body, including a few I'd never realised were there. In the end deciding that there was no point worrying Charlie any more than he already was with evidence of my exhaustion from the day, and acknowledging that even if I managed to cool off my need for Sam temporarily through a cold shower, it was pretty much inevitable that all it would take would be a single glance from him to set me off once more, I ran the shower as hot as I could handle it and finished up as fast as I could so as to leave Sam enough hot water for his own shower.
He must've heard the water shut off and come straight upstairs to take his turn, because as I left the bathroom, a towel wrapped around me and my wet hair hanging over my shoulder, I almost broke my nose against his solid, naked chest, walking right into him on the other side of the door. Sam grasped my shoulders to steady me as with a muffled "oof" I stumbled back a step and he leaned down a little to look straight into my face to make sure I wasn't really hurt, and of course, the moment he did so we were both caught in each other's eyes, only the watering of my own lessening the effect for me and allowing me to keep at least a few of my wits about me. As he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss against my nose, murmuring an apology for the crash, the warm, musky, woody scent of Sam rushed over me, particularly noticeable compared to my own freshly showered scent and I couldn't help the sudden rush of lust that zinged through me, setting my pulse racing, hardening my nipples almost painfully, and sending a rush of moisture to my pussy.
Sam's hands tightened on my shoulders and he suddenly straightened, his eyes flashing then darkening suddenly, his own lust unmistakable at this distance and his nostrils flaring. Unable to stop myself, my body rocked forwards without my permission, close enough that I could feel the heat radiating from his. A tiny part of my mind, somewhere a million miles away was yelling at me to back up, shouting that I couldn't let this go any further right now, that Charlie would be home any minute, but the rest of me was dead set on ignoring that sensible reminder and getting as close to Sam as possible. I wanted every inch of my skin to be covered with his.
Sam's eyes flicked down to my suddenly parched lips as I unconsciously licked them, and the broken eye contact gave me the will to seize control of myself, allowing me to back up a pace, and not a moment too soon, as just then I heard the squeak of the front door announcing that Charlie was back.
"Bella?" Charlie's voice cut through the thick atmosphere surrounding Sam and I like a knife, further startling the two of us back into cold, practical reality; at any moment Charlie might come upstairs and, unless we wanted a really uncomfortable scene to play out, both of us needed to get ourselves under better control, and quickly too.
"Down in a moment, Dad. I'm just showing Sam to the bathroom." I called down to him, gesturing to Sam that he should step past me. "I'll just grab you a towel real quick." I whispered and made to reach into the linen closet behind me. An amused glint lit up his eyes for a second and then before I could react, Sam caught hold of the corner of the towel wrapped around my body and with a quick tug left me gasping and blushing, naked in the hallway.
"No need." He breathed into my ear, setting off a rash of goose bumps, although whether they were from the sudden cold of being naked or from the tickle of his breath I couldn't have said. "This will do just nicely." With an indignant gasp, I rushed the few steps down the hall to my room, very aware of his eyes burning their way across my form as I went and catching a glimpse of his amused but lustful look as I turned to close my door behind me.
My full body blush had eased off by the time I went downstairs to find Charlie, although I had to fight to keep it from returning as he raised an inquiring eyebrow when he saw my wet hair. Deciding it was best to just ignore the unspoken question I walked straight to the kitchen and started rooting around in the bags of food he'd brought.
"Hey Dad. What did you bring?" When there was no immediate answer, I turned to find him staring at me with an expression I could only called relief. I was about to ask again when he suddenly closed the couple of paces' distance between us, grabbing me up in a bone-crushing hug and resting his cheek on the top of my head.
"Um, Dad?" I gasped. "Struggling to breathe here." His grip eased up a tiny amount, but it was still several second before he let out a shuddering breath and spoke.
"I swear to God, I must've aged about 20 years today. Bella I'm so proud of what you did today for Harry, but before I knew what had happened, and when I could get a hold of you on your cell…" his voice became strangled and choked "please promise me that you'll make sure your cell is always fully charge before you go anywhere from now on, especially with this Victoria bitch gunning for you. I'm not sure I can take that sort of panic again." His arms tightened around me again for a second before he remembered my need for oxygen and eased off once more.
My eyes filled as I hugged him fiercely back, pressing my face into his shoulder as I mumbled back.
"I'm sorry, Dad, I promise I'll keep it charged from now on. I's ok, I'm ok. Just completely exhausted and very stiff and sore, even after my shower." The sound of the creaky stairs caught my attention just then, so I tightened my hug once more before slowly stepping back out of Charlie's arms; I didn't know for sure that seeing my dad hugging me would set off another set of growls from Sam, but it seemed a pretty decent bet and right then we didn't need any animosity between the pair of them, we had a serious conversation to have.
"Well now that Sam's finished washing off the grime from fixing his mom's sink, I guess we can sit and eat." I made a start on digging out the food and piling it onto plates, ignoring the twin snorts from Charlie and Sam at my less than subtle attempt to point out that nothing illicit had been going on before my dad got home.
Silence reigned for several minutes as we all ate ravenously, I hadn't realised just how hungry I had been until I'd started setting the food out but I couldn't deny the relief I got from tearing into my grilled chicken sandwich and fries. Sam, of course, was eating enough for a small army; something Charlie had clearly anticipated and had come prepared for. It made me realise once again just how wilfully oblivious I'd been about his true identity. Sam's massive appetite had always been very obvious and something I ordinarily would've noticed almost instantly had I not been firstly so stubbornly insistent that the tribe's wolves were extinct, and then so single-mindedly determined to protect everyone around me that I blocked out the obvious clues. Now that I'd hit myself over the head with a meditational clue-by-four, I could see all the flashing neon hints that my normally observant and perceptive self had stared right through.
"Idiot!" I growled at myself. "I totally owe Taha Aki a giant spirit muffin basket or something for being as patient as he was with me. Never mind hitting my in the head with a shovel, he must've felt like throwing a whole shovel factory at me." Despite feeling bad for the spirit chief, I was less than pleased to feel that "Right" feeling, mixed in with no small amount of amusement, wash over me just at that moment and I sent a mental glare in what I imagined Taha Aki's direction in my mind should be.
Determinedly re-focussing my attention, I took a huge swallow of coke and cleared my throat, making certain not to quite make eye contact with Sam as he looked up from his plate.
"So, Dad, apart from Harry's collapse today, something else pretty momentous happened which you need to know about." From the corner of my eye I could see Sam stiffening and shifting awkwardly in his chair. Fixing Charlie's gaze I took a breath and forced myself to continue calmly. "Sam and I are now officially together."
The silence that rang out in the room made the quiet while we were eating seem like the noise in a busy club ad I watched as several emotions crossed my dad's face. Happiness, relief, worry and then anger all took their turns at top speed and then he finally turned to Sam and spoke, his voice an icy calm knife through the silence.
"How dare you?" he asked, his quiet voice somehow more scary that a full out bellow would've been. Sam's face was a picture of hurt and confusion and I knew that my own expression must have mirrored his. Charlie hadn't had a problem with Sam and I being in a casual relationship with each other, so why would he be so incensed over us becoming official?
"Dad…" I began, hoping to find and resolve the problem before Sam could become either angry or defensive, neither of which would be pretty if he lost control.
"No, Bella, you don't know what he's setting you up for here." He cut me off angrily, glaring at Sam. "You've fought so hard to get back to yourself and I won't have him putting you right back where you started through his own selfishness." Charlie half stood, hands on the table and despite being only at Sam's eye-level, somehow managed to loom over him. "I made you a promise, Sam, but right now I'm struggling to find a reason why I should keep it when my daughter might get hurt in the process."
Suddenly the reason behind Charlie's anger was clear. He knew that the wolves could find their soul-mate at any time, therefore destroying their existing relationships, but he didn't know that I was now aware that Sam was a wolf or that he and I were soul-mates. Sam seemed to come to the same conclusions at the same time; I saw the initial bristling anger of his response give way to sympathy in his eyes and I reached across the table, putting my hand over one of Charlie's and squeezing gently to draw his attention to me. However controlled and understanding Sam seemed to be, it couldn't hurt to back Charlie away from such a confrontational stance over him.
"Dad. It's ok. I know who Sam is, what he is." I seemed to get through to him this time and he slumped back down into his chair, glancing between Sam and me to confirm what I'd said. He wasn't backing down completely though.
"Fine. So you know he's a wolf. How you know I'm not going to ask for now, but knowing his secret identity isn't the end of it, Bells. There's something else at play here, a very real reason why he shouldn't encourage you to invest in a relationship with him and he knows it." He turned once again to Sam and ground out "It was one thing when both of you were keeping it open and casual, I was still worried about her, well about both of you, getting hurt, but at least it would be minimised. And I was managing somehow to distract myself from what the two of you might be getting up to together." He gave a little shudder and I fought back yet another blush. "But if you commit to each other, commit to her and then have to back out of it, she'll end up fighting back the depression again, and as strong as my girl is, I don't know if even she has the strength to do it again… I know I don't have the strength to watch her try again."
For the second time that evening I could hear the thickness of held back tears in my dad's voice and I felt my eyes swim in response. For such a private stoic man he'd been forced again and again over the past few months to reach past his discomfort and display his emotional side, for me, and every time I saw him do it, it hit home to me just how much I loved him and he loved me. I swallowed the thick lump in my throat and squeezed his hand again, a little harder this time, trying to wordlessly convey everything I was feeling through the contact.
"Chief, you don't have to worry about me imprinting on someone and leaving Bella, it won't hap…" Sam began in a remarkable calm voice, considering the provocation, but Charlie cut him off this time.
"Don't tell me you're that naïve. Don't try to convince me that you can resist the call of a soul-mate through will power. You know it can't be done."
"I know." The slow smile that spread across Sam's face as he agreed with him clearly confused Charlie and he turned to me only to find a matching smile which rapidly became a moronic grin as Sam and I made eye contact. I'm pretty sure that we had only been lost in each other for a few moments this time when a sudden movement from Charlie caught our attention, tearing our eyes from each other. Slumping back in his chair, Charlie's eyes darted back and forth between the two of us, taking in our dopey, lost expressions and quickly realising what they meant. He let out a long resigned sigh.
"Oh crap." He slumped in his seat, pressing the heels of his hands hard against his eyes, looking exhausted and kind of defeated in a way that was scarily familiar to me from the end of my zombie phase. I opened my mouth, wanting to tell Charlie that everything would be ok, that this was a good thing, forgetting for the moment my own reservations I'd been experiencing just a few hours before. I got no further than my in-drawn breath though before a light tap on my foot drew my eyes over to Sam, his unspoken "give him a minute" loud and clear in his expression. I closed my mouth again, letting the heavy silence reign.
The silence dragged on, Charlie un-moving with his hands pressed to his eyes and his shoulders slumped, me anxious and rigid, fighting the need to reassure my dad, and Sam, his thrumming tension clear despite the determination I could see in his expression to give Charlie the chance to work through his thoughts without interruption. Just as I was about to break and start in with my reassurances, Charlie spoke, his voice low and calm, although that didn't stop me from jumping as the silence broke.
"Well I already said it myself, the imprint can't be fought, and there's no point me asking you to try it." He raised his hand when both Sam and I looked like we wanted to reply, holding us off for a few moments while he made his next point. "And I'm well aware of the fact that with a rogue vampire after her, Bella is probably physically even safer now that you've imprinted on her, Sam. Not only will you willing throw yourself into the path of an on-coming semi to protect her, but the rest of the pack will be almost as rabid about her safety now she's an imprint."
Something in his voice told me that Charlie wasn't exaggerating in the slightest when he spoke and it only took a single wide-eyed glance over at Sam who was nodding seriously along with Charlie's statement to confirm that I was right. I frowned, chewing my bottom lip worriedly. Sure it was great to know that both Charlie and I had protection from Victoria, but I didn't want anyone hurt in the process of keeping me safe, and most certainly not Sam.
"And before you start tearing into yourself about me thinking you're not good enough for my daughter," Charlie continued, giving Sam a knowing look, "that's not even close to the truth. You're a good man, son, a very good man and actually, if I'm going to have to accept the fact that Bells is going to be with anyone, I can't think of anyone I'd consider as worthy as you are." At this, a huge weight of tension seemed to drain from Sam and despite the decidedly pink tinge to his face, he looked pleased and relieved to hear Charlie's praise.
"Then what's the problem, Dad? Why are you so stressed over Sam and me if all that's true?" I asked, truly baffled by his concern and unable to stay silent any longer. Charlie let loose a loud, gusting sigh and dragged his hand tiredly over his face.
"Well there are a few things that bother me, but I guess really it all boils down to two major points." He held up one finger, counting off his issues. "Firstly it's the fact that you've only just come back to yourself after Edward left, Bells, and while I know that this relationship with Sam and your relationship with Edward are wildly different, that almost makes it worse; you threw all of yourself into that last fling, and then when he disappeared there was nothing of you left, like he took it all away with him. Now here you are, finally whole again, and you're literally bonded to a man who, while he would never willingly leave you like Edward did, has such dangerous responsibilities that it's entirely possible that he could get taken from you anyway, and how much worse would you be if that was to happen? Would you ever be yourself again after that? Would you even survive it at all?" Charlie ground to a halt, his voice becoming raspy and his eyes filling a little.
I decided that it would be better to wait for another time to correct his assessment of the 'wildly different' relationships between Edward and me and Sam and me; as far as I could tell they were actually very similar in their intensity, and despite now knowing that I was well and truly over Edward, that knowledge didn't deceive me into thinking we hadn't been soul-mates after all. The only reason that I was now able to forge a new, equally strong bond with Sam was that Edward had gone, tearing his soul free from mine and leaving a raw and bloody ragged edge that had come close to breaking me completely before it had healed in a new, Sam compatible shape. It was a point I'd need to make clear, and soon, but right then, with Charlie opening himself up and actually sharing emotions was not the moment for it. Nor would it have been a good idea to announce to my brand new soul-mate that he wasn't the first I'd thought of as that, and his predecessor was his mortal enemy. "Yeah, that one's going to have to be handled very carefully. And not just hours after the bond has formed." I told myself, not looking forward to the conversation. With either of them.
Clearing his throat and with a surreptitious sniff, Charlie held up a second finger. "Secondly, and I'm not sure if it's more or less important, but it's a big issue either way; I don't know if either of you have considered what this means for Bella's future." Sam and I exchanged a confused look. "Wasn't that the point he just made?" I wondered, and could almost hear the same question echoing through Sam's mind as his brows furrowed in sync with mine. Seeing our confusion, Charlie explained.
"Sam's responsibility to the tribe, as a protector and as its chief means that he will always be tied to the Rez, that he will live here for his whole life, no matter what other plans he may or may not have had. Now I'm not saying that's a bad thing" he added, raising a hand to ward off any protests we might make "how could I? I've lived in Forks my whole life and I like to think I've helped make this a good place to live, that I've made a difference in the community. I certainly don't look at my life as a wasted opportunity. But here's the thing. I was never real big on the whole school thing. I got decent enough grades and I probably could've gotten better if I'd cared enough to put the effort in, but I was never really interested in college or getting out and seeing the world."
"My Bells though, she's always been quite the scholar. Always thrown all her effort into getting top grades and while it's not something we'd ever really sat down and seriously talked about, her mom and I always assumed that she'd go somewhere to college, probably a really good school too, and then take what she'd learned and get out into the world, see everything she wanted to see, make a real difference out there."
His clear pride in me washed over me like a warm wave, leaving me pleasantly surprised and faintly embarrassed. He wasn't completely wrong, about the college stuff that is. I'd always figured I'd go on to college after I graduated, although I didn't have any real sense of what I'd study. But after Edward left I'd not exactly been thinking about college, hell I'd not been thinking about anything for a while there, and once it had become clear that Victoria was gunning for me I'd spent a lot of time being fairly certain I wouldn't even survive long enough to graduate, so worrying about college really hadn't been anywhere on my list of priorities. I still didn't really see Charlie's point though; Sam's presence in my life was pretty much the only reason I would stay alive long enough to even think about college, so how was he causing worry over my futu... "Oh!" The truth suddenly hammered itself home to me and my eyes flew up to meet the matching sorrowful expressions of Sam and my dad.
"You're right, that's not something I'd considered." I told Charlie, fighting to keep a wobble out of my voice. Just because I'd not been thinking about it recently didn't mean that the sudden certainty of losing that dream for my future didn't hurt. But it would hurt both of them even more if they realised just how much it upset me. So I carefully kept my upset hidden and went on. "I guess that there's no workable way of me going away to school now, being away from Sam for that long wouldn't work, and I wouldn't want it to either." I added, reaching out to catch Sam's hand and rubbing my thumb across his knuckles to comfort him.
Strangely, the touch comforted me maybe more than I'd expected and I drew strength from the contact, dreams can change, and I'd find a new one, make it matter as much as the idea of going away to school had. "Actually," It occurred to me as I was speaking "just because I can't move away to study, doesn't mean I can't study at all. There are loads of real good online courses I can take, and I'm sure that some of them will be based out of or at least have links with Seattle Central so I would be able to go there whenever a course meant I actually needed to be physically present."
As I spoke my enthusiasm grew. Although at least half of my intent when I began my little speech had been to placate the two of them, I found myself growing more positive on the subject, a warm glow of real enthusiasm. "I still have no real firm ideas on what I'd like to study, what I'd like to do in the future, but doing something positive for the community, whether that means Forks or the Rez or both would be great. Follow in my Dad's footsteps somehow." I gave Charlie a small grin and he returned it with only a small edge of his sadness remaining around the edges. "Maybe I could teach or something. If I'm going to be a permanent fixture in the area, I'd like to be able to make a difference." My repetitive stroking of Sam's knuckles with my thumb was interrupted by his squeeze of my hand and I looked up to find him staring at me with a complicated mix of awe, pride and love unmistakeable on his face. The intensity of his stare was almost uncomfortable, the newness of our bond made it hard to accept that love part so soon, but there was no confusing that look for anything else.
"You really are the most amazing woman, Bella." Sam murmured, his tone reflecting his expression. "It took me weeks to come to terms with losing my dreams for the future, to stop feeling anything other than resentful about the whole thing, and yet in just a few seconds you've faced it, accepted it, and started looking for a positive spin to put on it." He shook his head in amazed admiration while Charlie nodded in agreement and predictably I blushed a deep red once more.
"What you're both forgetting to take into account is that until a couple of weeks ago I didn't think I had any future at all to speak of and my only real ambition was to prevent Dad from being killed along with me. So to find out now that I've got to make a few adjustments to my college plans… let's just say I'm too grateful to actually have a fighting chance to live that long to spend more than a few seconds regretting what could've been."
The low rumbling growl coming from Sam at the thought of Victoria getting to me seemed to echo into the otherwise silent room following my statement, and Charlie paled at the idea, so I quickly cast about in my mind for a way to tear the conversation away from thoughts of death and sorrow.
"So now that I've answered the college issue I guess that just leaves the worry about Sam being taken from me." I rushed out, my voice seeming overly loud in the quiet room. "It'd be naïve of me to say that there's no way that would ever happen, but I can't and I won't live my life afraid to take any risks because of things that might happen." I took a deep breath, having hurried through all of that, and pressed on. "You're right; I was barely a person at all after Edward left, and it's taken a hell of a lot for me to fight my way back to myself, but I've been given another chance to build a future with someone and I can't regret that, no matter whether or not he might be taken from me at some point in the future. Even if it was possible to break the bond, I could never want that, to miss out on what we have now in order to avoid possible pain later on." I caught Charlie's gaze and held it, calmly reinforcing my certainty of my course.
"Dad, I know it's ridiculous to tell you not to worry, and to expect you to just switch it off, and I'm not saying that you're wrong to be worrying, it's your prerogative as my dad after all." He gave a little dry snort at that and I flashed him a grin. "But please, can you try to focus past the possible problems and see all the potential for happiness here before you go borrowing trouble from the future to worry about now?"
The smile Charlie sent me now only held the tiniest trace of his worry and sadness. It was enough. I knew he's always carry those worries for me; I'd given him more than enough reasons to worry even without the fact that I was his kid and It was natural for a parent to worry, but I could see that he was going to attempt to shift his focus and concentrate on seeing my and Sam's happiness before he started fixating on what might be.
With a sudden shift of his seat and a loud clap of his hands, Charlie signalled a clear end to the discussion and, hauling himself tiredly to his feet, he began collecting the now cold remnants of our meal.
"So I guess all that's left is for me to do is casually threaten you with violence, Sam, if you upset my little girl, or knock her up." He threw nonchalantly over his shoulder as he opened the fridge. "After all, as the Chief of police, I know exactly how to hide the body, and while I know I couldn't take you in a fight, I do have access to several firearms." The smirk was so obvious in his voice that neither of us needed to see his face. "Beer?" he offered in exactly the same cool tone, making Sam and I gape, our expressions exact mirror copies of each other. Turning, Charlie waggled a bottle in Sam's direction to get a reply. The action had Sam's hand reaching automatically for the beer even as he worked his mouth silently, clearly trying to form an appropriate answer.
"As if there could be an appropriate response to that!" I thought, chocking a little even as my face burst into flames. "Seriously, Dad?" I gasped finally. "'Knock me up?' Are you kidding me? Seriously?" Charlie's eyes were sparkling with amusement at our expressions, clearly enjoying himself now.
"Bells it's my job to threaten your boyfriend, no matter how good a man he might be." He said, his voice and expression positively dripping with unconvincing innocence. Suddenly an evil grin spread across his face. "The fact that I'm enjoying it, is a completely unexpected bonus."
I face-palmed, making sure to keep my "For fuck's sake" quiet enough to prevent Charlie from hearing it. It obviously wasn't quiet enough to escape Sam's hearing though, if the low chuckle from him was any indication. Luckily, Charlie seemed to accept this laugh as a response to his goading.
"Relax, Bells. See, Sam's not been scared off, and If I remember rightly, Alison's more than a little bit prone to making comments just as bad as that, if not worse." Sam's chuckle became an all-out laugh at this, and I couldn't help a wry eye roll in response. He wasn't wrong; Alison had embarrassed the living crap out of me just a couple of hours before.
"Guess I'd better resign myself to being a permanent fire engine red for the foreseeable future." I told myself. "At least for as long as it takes to get used to toughen my delicate sensibilities up a little" The change in the atmosphere of the room seemed to be a relief to Sam, who had been very quiet since Charlie first started sharing his concerns. He was clearly glad that my dad didn't consider him unworthy of me, as if that would ever have been a possibility, and it seemed that I'd been able to put his worries about my future education and career to rest, and his posture and expression had both lightened massively since the conversation had started. I decided to let things rest for the present. A discussion was clearly needed with both Sam and Charlie about the exact nature of my relationship with Edward, and in fact I figured I really ought to fill them both in on everything I knew about soulmates in general as it appeared that neither of them knew anything other than the very species specific "imprinting" lore, which I could only assume came courtesy of whatever lore the tribe had to pass down. I was fairly sure the conversation would be upsetting for all concerned, though, and after such a physically and emotionally draining day, followed by an incredibly exhausting and angst-ridden conversation, I figured I would just have to wait for another time.
"Bella, are you coming?" Sam's voice jarred me out of my introspection, and I looked up from my daze to find that both he and Charlie had left the table and were heading off to the living room to sit down with a beer; I'd obviously missed the conclusion of the 'obligatory threatening of the new boyfriend' portion of the evening while I mused and so I tiredly hauled myself to my feet, wincing at my protesting muscles and trailed wearily along behind them to slump down on the couch with a loud groan. They both chuckled quietly at me and Sam sat alongside me, pulling me around and across to lean up against his solid, warm frame, safely enclosed in his arms, his nose buried in my hair and breathing in deeply, and raising a slightly challenging brow at my dad, who merely rolled his eyes in response and determinedly didn't react other than an inaudible mutter under his breath. Sam chuckled lowly, apparently with his hearing, Charlie's mutter hadn't been quite so inaudible, but sitting practically in Sam's lap, with his body heat warming me through and his amazing woodsy scent surrounding me, the lethargy I'd been fighting off was beginning to overtake me, and I was too comfortable, and was rapidly becoming too drowsy to care enough about what he said and didn't bother to ask.
It seemed slightly surreal to me that after the event-filled day we were now sitting around calmly relaxing together as if we'd all just had a long day at work or school, but I could definitely learn to get used to evenings like that, the cosy, homey feel a really wonderful contrast to the stress and tension of the day and the discontent I'd been feeling for the last week or so. A small part of me couldn't help but compare the ease that Charlie seemed to feel with Sam to the way he'd always been with Edward and I wondered how much of that was due to the fact that he had been my first boyfriend, how much was down to the sense of secrecy that must have surrounded the two of us, how much was because of the way I'd instantly started to center everything in my life on Edward, and what part of it was just down to a simple dislike of Edward himself. Whatever the difference was due to, I was glad of it; I wasn't stupid enough to imagine that all of Charlie's worries had been completely put to bed, but his willingness to make the effort to see past them and accept things as they were was a real gift to me.
Sam and Charlie began in on a debate about some sports team or other and I let my eyes fall shut, allowing the rise and fall of Sam's chest under my head, and the steady thump of his heart to lull me into a state of total relaxation, much like the waves on first beach did. Even the deep rumble of his voice, and the lighter, familiar tone of my dad's voice in reply wasn't enough to keep me alert enough to actually listen to what they were talking about, and it was probably only a matter of minutes before sleep had completely washed over me, only the odd word or two working their way through my slumber in odd, disjointed moments.
"…You know I will; she's almost literally become the center of my universe now."
"…might come back sometime, and I don't want any trouble."
"…unless he starts it."
"…on your plate with this red-head."
"…strangely quiet recently… what's she's up to."
"…can do is handle what comes when it comes."
"…Quil before much longer."
"…time that Old Quil accepted that."
"…try something while Harry's laid up."
"…foot down. Maybe now…"
Finally my exhaustion pulled me under completely and I heard nothing more, settling into a deep, undisturbed sleep until I woke in my own bed hours later, the light filtering through my curtains telling me it was the very early hours of morning.