CHAPTER 46: Cycles

"Just like the moon we go through phases."

Nii and Appa soon returned to the Fire Nation palace, and Appa immediately went to the stable that had been arranged to accommodate him.

Nii followed him, her steps heavy with weariness as she approached him with a mixture of relief and regret in her heart, and she watched him slurp water from a large trunk originally meant to feed ostrich horses.

She sat down beside him.

Her expression was pensive as she gently stroked his thick fur.

"I'm sorry, Appa," she began softly, her voice carrying a hint of sadness.

His presence was comforting to her, somehow, even though he had just been through the same as she had at the Boiling Rock.

"I'm…" she tried, her heart heavy. "I'm not very good at flying, I know… And I didn't do what Aang told me to. I'm sorry."

Her words hung in the air, tinged with self-doubt and disappointment.

Appa continued drinking.

Nii sighed out in a deep exhale.

"I promised him that I'd be careful, but I'm… I mean, I've never really flown before, or you know, had my hands on the reins so to speak. But you're probably completely aware of that already," she added, her tone earnest.

Appa turned his large, kind eyes toward Nii, his brown gaze steady and understanding.

"I just feel like I let him down…" she sighed, her shoulders slumping with the weight of her own expectations. "I let YOU down, I… I put you in danger."

As if in response, Appa let out a low, rumbling sound - a gentle reassurance that seemed to tell her that it was okay.

She closed her eyes.

"No, it's not okay, Appa," she chimed as she let her hands rest against his paw. "I mean, you're just like him. You're the last of your kind. What if I was the reason that you got hurt?! Or even worse…"

The words seemed to dry out in her mouth, and in that moment, she felt the heavy weight of the lofty standards she had set for herself, and it felt like a stone in her heart.

With her eyes still closed, Nii did not notice that Appa turned around to face her, and she let out a surprised gasp when she suddenly felt his massive tongue slob over her, leaving her completely stunned and soaking from his watery drool.

She let out a surprised chuckle, kind of taken aback by the bison's gesture.

"Appa?!" she exclaimed in something between a gasp and a chuckle as she wiped away some of the drool off of her face. "Did you just give me a bison kiss?!"

Appa rumbled at her again, and she laughed while reaching up a hand to nudge his furry cheek.

His eyes seemed filled with sincerity.

As if he trusted her.

She leaned in to place a kiss on his cheek, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

It felt like he truly knew what she was going through, what it was like being scared and feeling like you disappointed everyone.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice filled with gratitude from his reminder that it was okay to falter, to struggle, and she felt a sense of acceptance wash over her. "I'll keep trying… and maybe one day, I'll be able to fly you just as well as Aang."

Appa grumbled in response, causing her to laugh again.

"Yeah, you're right. Probably not," she chuckled before she nuzzled his fur again.

Out of the corner of her eye, Nii suddenly noticed a figure standing in the doors at the end of the stable, and she quickly turned her gaze to see Iroh chuckling lightly at the two of them.

His eyes were twinkling with warmth.

"Animals have a way of teaching us profound lessons," he smiled as he took a few steps closer to her, and she noticed that he was carrying a tray with tea. "When we speak to them, we're not just sharing words - we're opening ourselves up to their wisdom and perspective."

Nii smiled back at him and nodded, feeling a sense of resonance with his words.

"They respond not with words but with energy," he added. "A pure, unfiltered connection that transcends language."

As Nii absorbed his words, she let her gaze travel back to Appa's large, brown eyes. And indeed, she sensed an energy within him that was very alike Aang's. He was sort of like his mirror in a way.

"Tea?" Iroh smiled as he sat down next to her and the sky bison.

Nii nodded gratefully, and she held the steaming cup with both hands, breathing in deeply over the cup to have the sweet perfume of jujube tea fill her nostrils.

She already felt more relaxed.

Iroh slurped his tea loudly, before he let his gaze linger on Appa who had started numbling at some hay.

"You know," he continued, his tone thoughtful. "In the Air Nomad culture, it is said that sky bison are the most spiritual of all creatures. They say that Airbenders and their bison share a unique bond - a connection that goes beyond words. It's perfectly normal for Airbenders to communicate with their sky bison, as they're believed to possess great wisdom and insight."

Nii nodded, while slurping her tea too, absorbing Iroh's words with interest.

Of course, she had heard of this already, but right now it just made even more sense to her - the way Appa seemed to understand her thoughts and feelings even without her needing to say much, and she was not even an Airbender.

She realized how easy it must be for Aang and him to communicate.

They probably did not even need words.

"Sky bison are attuned to the spiritual energies of the world," Iroh explained, his gaze drifting to Appa with a mixture of respect and admiration. "They're not just companions. They're guides and protectors, embodying the balance and harmony that Airbenders strive to maintain."

As Nii listened, a sense of reverence washed over her for the creature in front of them.

She reached over a hand to gently stroke his fur.

"Which is why," Iroh added. "That it makes sense to me why the two of you seem to get along quite well."

Nii raised an eyebrow at him.

"What do you mean?" she intrigued.

Iroh chuckled heartwarmingly.

"You seem like a very spiritual being yourself, Nii," he smiled, and Nii noticed that his eyes sparkled with the same golden color as Zuko's.

She felt her cheeks flush pink, and she quickly bowed her head down a little to hide it behind her hair, slurping her tea a little louder than normal.

Her mind raced with something to break the awkward silence that she suddenly felt between them.

"There were a lot of loyalists at the Boiling Rock… A lot of fighting," she blurted out, eyes wide at him.

However, Iroh did not seem fazed at all by her news, he simply continued sitting there in his lotus position, smiling warmly at her.

"I'm sure that my nephew and Avatar Aang have everything under control," he stated calmly, and he straightened his back, earning for his spine to crackle a little. "Your friends have dealt with much worse back in the day."

Nii clasped her lips shut and furrowed her brow.

A short moment of silence passed by.

"Aang went into the Avatar state," she then added, raising her eyebrow at him again as if to challenge his claims.

Iroh just continued smiling at her, and it seemed like seconds turned into hours as another moment of silence passed between them.

"And were you in danger?" he asked.

Nii felt her cheeks flush again but she kept her eyes locked with his.

"Yeah, sort of," she confessed in a small voice. "Me and Appa both."

Iroh chuckled before he drank the rest of the tea in his cup.

"Oh Nii, my young friend," he sighed warmly as he rose to his feet. "To defend our loved ones, we must do what is necessary. Love and loyalty are powerful motivators, although we must learn to balance them with inner peace and restraint."

He paused for a moment, as he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, before he turned his head slightly to the stable doors.

"They're back now. You must excuse me while I go to talk to my nephew."

Iroh bowed gracefully before leaving for the courtyard outside, and it was not until then that Nii also heard the faint sound of the airship from outside.

In a rush, Aang suddenly burst into the stable, a look of deep concern etched across his face.

He carried a gust of wind with him, stirring the hay and dust within the stable.

"Nii!" his voice rang out, filled with urgency and worry, and as soon as his eyes landed on her, he hurried toward her, his footsteps light and barely perceptible over the cobblestones.

"Are you okay?" he breathed as he rushed to her, and he sat down next to her in a squatting position while his eyes scanned her as if he was making sure that she had not been harmed.

"Aang, I'm fine," she reassured him, reaching out to gently grasp his hand. "I'm okay. Appa's okay. We're good."

Aang's eyes softened as he took in the sight of Nii safe and unharmed before him. Relief flooded his features, replacing the worry that seemed to have clouded his entire being.

He pulled her into a reassuring embrace.

"I'm sorry I didn't protect you," he whispered into her ear, as he tightened his arms around her.

She returned the embrace, comforted by his scent filling her nostrils, and she felt her heart warm from his presence.

"You did," she whispered. "I'm sorry for not being more careful."

This caused Aang to pull back, and he lifted a hand to cup her face, his gaze filled with loving care as he looked deep into her eyes.

She could see the intensity of his emotions reflected back at her - concern, fear, and above all, profound affection.

His usually bright eyes were softened by a vulnerability that struck a chord deep within her heart.

His thumb brushed lightly across her cheekbone as he searched her eyes, his own expression open and raw with emotion.

"When I saw that fireball coming at you, I…" he whispered in a raspy voice, and Nii reached up to cover Aang's hand with her own. "I couldn't help but imagine what it would feel like to lose you. And what if you're…"

His words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken emotions, and she watched him look down to her chest and stomach before he lifted his gaze to lock with her eyes once more.

"I love you," he whispered, his voice steady but tinged with a hint of desperation.

Nii's breath caught in her throat and her heart seemed to skip a beat as it ached at the depth of Aang's feelings.

She felt tears welling up in her eyes, completely moved by his heartfelt confession, and she saw the vulnerability in his gaze, the rawness of his emotions laid bare before her.

"I'm here, Aang," Nii whispered with tears glistening in her eyes, her voice trembling with emotion. "I'm not going anywhere. I love you too, more than any words can express."

Aang's eyes softened further, filled with gratitude and relief, as he traced the delicate contours of her face.

Their hearts seemed to entwine with love and relief, and Aang leaned in slowly and with a gentle certainty, his lips met hers in a soft, lingering kiss - a kiss filled with love, longing and gratitude.

It was a kiss that spoke volumes, conveying a promise of devotion and an unbreakable bond.

For a fleeting moment, everything else melted away - the chaos from before, the worries, the uncertainties, the weight of their responsibilities. There was only the warmth of their shared affection, the tenderness of their connection, and the sweet taste of love that lingered on their lips.

As they pulled apart, their eyes met once more, now shining with a renewed sense of understanding and closeness.

Nii's heart swelled with love for this guy who had captured her spirit completely and brought light into her world.

Suddenly, Appa grumbled next to them, and he lifted his paw to puff gently at Aang who almost lost his balance on his feet, causing him to chuckle out.

"Aw, I also love you, buddy! You know that," he laughed, as he rose to his feet and turned around to hug Appa too.

Nii chuckled heartwarmingly when she saw the smile that spread over Aang's lips as he wrapped his arms around his companion.

"No need to be jealous, Appa," Nii teased as she poked his white fur with her elbow. "You got a kiss too."

Aang raised an eyebrow at her.

"Well," she explained in a giggle. "He kissed ME, or… 'licked me' might be the correct term."

Aang chuckled again, turning to Appa to nuzzle his fur.

"Hey buddy, no stealing my girl," he joked as the bison rumbled at him once again.

A breathy laugh escaped Nii's lips and she felt her heart warm once again as she absorbed his words.

Her skin tingled with love.

His girl.

She liked that.

Aang turned around to lean his back against Appa and he sighed out heavily, as he slowly allowed himself to slide down before he settled into a sitting position on the floor with his back against Appa's sturdy frame.

Nii could not help but to smile at him.

"Oh man," Aang breathed in a sigh. "That was intense."

Nii giggled.

"Yeah," she agreed as she reached over to lay a comforting hand on his thigh. "Did you get the situation under control back there?"

Aang propped an eyebrow at her.

"Oh, at the Rock? Yeah, yeah," he said, waving his hand at her as if that was nothing. "I'm talking about the panic I felt when I first saw that fireball coming at you, and then, you an Appa disappearing into the horizon without me. I just wanted to go with you, make sure you were okay."

Nii tilted her head at him and nudged his thigh lovingly, assuring him once more that she was in fact right there with him and totally fine.

"I mean," he continued as he closed his eyes. "All sorts of thoughts just went through my head, you know? What if they came after you? What if they captured you? What if they hurt you? What if you're pregnant with my child and they killed you? Killed my kid?! I mean, my head just went crazy, I tell you."

Aang chuckled to himself still with his eyes closed, but Nii froze as she sat there, her eyes wide with shock as she took in his words.

"Wha…?" she breathed in a gasp, causing Aang to open his eyes to look at her.

A pink flush bloomed over his cheeks.

"Uh…" she heard him say in a tremble, but she had closed her eyes now, as a whirlwind of emotions rushed through her.

Firstly, shock, empathy, concern and also a wave of compassion for him. She sensed the desperation and the specter of loss that haunted him. The thought of her being in danger, especially in a way that could separate them forever, had seemed to strike a chord deep within him, and she completely understood why.

But secondly…

Pregnant with his child?!

She put a hand over her stomach and let her gaze fall to it.

She could not be pregnant.

That was impossible.

Fear gripped her heart, overshadowing any hint of hope that dared to flicker within her.

Well technically…

It was not impossible.

What if there was actually a little being growing down there?

Would she be ready for that kind of responsibility?

Could she really handle the challenges of parenthood?

Doubt clouded Nii's thoughts. She was young, and their lives were filled with unpredictability, especially with Aang being the Avatar.

How could she bring a child into that?

Would she… would they be able to protect it?

A pang of fear shot through her as her mind suddenly traveled to when she had been flying on Appa, and she heard herself gasp out when her thoughts grazed over the idea that maybe she had not gotten sick on Appa because she was actually carrying a little Airbender in her tummy.

She opened her eyes to look at Aang.

His face reflected all of the emotions rushing through her, and he was biting his lower lip, his eyes filled with concern.

She wondered whether she possessed the same strength that he did and that both of them would need to raise a child in their extraordinary circumstances.

"I…" Nii managed to croak out, not sure of how to respond to any of this.

Aang soon scooted over to her on the floor, drawing close to offer comfort and reassurance.

With gentle care, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

He spoke softly, his voice a soothing murmur as he said: "Nii, if you're carrying my child, I want you to know that I'll do anything and everything to protect you both. It'll be my only priority - nothing else matters more to me."

As he spoke, Aang's other hand instinctively covered Nii's hand that rested on her stomach, his touch featherlight and protective.

Nii's eyes welled up with tears, moved by Aang's heartfelt words and the depth of his commitment. She leaned into his embrace, seeking solace in the warmth of his presence and the strength of his resolve.

She felt completely at a loss for words, and soon, her mind started racing again, along with her heartbeat.

Okay.

They had sex yesterday.

Right.

And when was her last period?

Nii tried to calculate the days and moons in her head, but she felt lightheaded and fuzzy, making it almost impossible for her to remember where she was in her cycle.

She was usually very aware of it because it always followed the moon, but right now…

Hopefully, it was not around the new moon.

"I don't know," she admitted in a quiet whisper, her voice tinged with vulnerability.

Aang squeezed her hand gently.

"No matter what, we'll face it together," he reassured her, his voice filled with conviction. "No matter what happens, I'll be by your side."

As they sat together, enveloped in a cocoon of shared understanding and unwavering support, Nii felt a glimmer of hope amid the shadows of doubt. With Aang by her side, she knew that they would navigate the challenges ahead with courage and resilience, united in their commitment to protect each other and their future, whatever it may hold.

"Thank you for being in my life," she finally whispered, her voice filled with tenderness.

She could sense him smiling.

"I love you so much," he replied softly, his words carrying the weight of a thousand promises.