If... Chapter 13: Lesson in patience
The day passed smoothly. Sirius played with Harry while Lily continued her work in Severus' living room. The Marauder considered Lily's efforts a waste of time, and most of all an honour that Severus surely did not deserve. The former Gryffindor disagreed.
Decorating and improving Severus' house occupied her mind, allowed her to think of other things, to practise complex spells. She didn't want her magic to rust, to wither. Lily had to maintain it. Whether or not Severus deserved a decent home was certainly not for Sirius to decide. Lily understood that Severus was making a mockery of the state of his house. Lily could do what she wanted with it. On the other hand, she thought that the new Hogwarts teacher might feel a little more comfortable in a warm house that did not look neglected.
Sirius had a completely different way of entertaining Harry, who laughed out loud. He would shoot sparks from his wand, pick up the child and pretend to fly it through the air, imitate certain animals... Lily even had to insist that Harry take his nap shortly after lunch. These antics pleased both the wizard and the toddler, leaving Lily to wonder who was the child between Sirius and Harry.
Just before four o'clock, Severus went home by the fireplace. And he had not returned empty-handed. He had taken a large trunk with him and had only opened it after Sirius had left. Fortunately, there had been no argument between the two wizards, just dubious glances and no greetings from either. Unfortunately for Severus, Sirius would be back the next day and the day after that. Remus would take over from Monday for a few days.
"What's that?" asked Lily, surprised to see the large trunk on the floor.
"Some food... And all the copies of the Prophet that have been published since you were here," Severus replied, opening the luggage. "I also found some things to help you with your project, and some books."
It was the old trunk Severus had used when he was a student at Hogwarts. Lily saw that Severus had selected books from Harry's youth. He had also taken copies of the September, October and November issues of Potions Today.
"How did you get them all together? Did Dumbledore give them to you?"
"I bribed a house-elf," Severus replied.
"We don't bribe house-elves. They obey, that's all!" sneered Lily, taking the first copy of the Prophet from the pile.
Lily saw Antonin Dolohov on the front page. The Prophet was talking about his capture the night before. Lily learned that he had been apprehended by the Aurors not far from Norwich thanks to a tip-off from a Muggle. As Dolohov was particularly dangerous and cruel to Muggles, the Minister had thought it best to inform his counterpart at 10 Downing Street. A manhunt - for a dangerous criminal in the Russian Mafia - was carried by the various Muggle media, and it was successful. However, the Ministry could not repeat the experiment to find the Lestranges and the unknown Death Eater, as it would inevitably cause great concern and upset among Muggles.
"Sirius told me," Lily said. "That and other things..."
She put the paper on the pile while Severus emptied the trunk. Lily wasn't sure she wanted to read all those newspapers, probably full of nonsense.
"Did you serve yourself in the kitchen?" she asked, seeing several vegetables, but also some pieces of meat wrapped in paper.
"Dumbledore told me to take what we needed," he replied. "Going shopping seems complicated at the moment."
Until now, Lily and Severus had received their food directly from the fireplace. Dumbledore had sent them several baskets over the past few days.
"What exactly did Black tell you?"
Lily told him everything Sirius had told her: the capture of Dolohov, the desperate state of the Longbottoms, but also the Prophet's insistence on flushing out the young mother and her son.
"Did you learn anything else?" asked Lily. "Did Dumbledore speak to you?"
"Yes, he called me into his office at nine o'clock after my lesson with the first years. We talked for an hour to get me to agree with his version— I was suffering from Spattergroit in my room, I was being treated by a house-elf, and I was basically asleep. I saw him again before I came back here. We discussed a few things."
"Which ones? I hope he didn't make you promise not to tell me."
"I only make promises to you."
Lily looked up at the sky.
"More seriously, he told me of the current situation," Severus continued. "I think he understood that he could no longer keep us in ignorance. Black is right. The Longbottoms' situation is desperate, though their relatives cling to the idea of a miracle. But in their case, even magic is powerless."
Lily could not imagine what the two Aurors had been through to completely lose their minds.
"He also told me about the recent arrests. Dolohov was taken to Azkaban immediately after his arrest. Crouch wants to speed up the trials, but Dumbledore fears he is sending innocent people to prison."
"It's already happened..." Lily replied in a defeated tone.
Bartemius Crouch was head of the Magical Law Enforcement Department. Lily had read in the Prophet on several occasions in recent years that the senior judge had sent many suspected or proven supporters of Voldemort behind the gates of Azkaban. All feared his judgement, for he was merciless. Lily remembered young Bartemius Crouch, his son, a quiet boy who had been appointed Prefect of Slytherin during Lily's final year at Hogwarts, the year she herself had become Head Girl. He had been a brilliant student, even winning twelve O.W.L.s with the highest honours.
"It's no longer a secret to anyone," Lily continued. "Bartemius Crouch wants to be Minister one day. Many consider him Voldemort's first opponent, after Dumbledore. And if Dumbledore refuses to take power, Crouch will succeed Millicent Bagnold. I don't know about you, but I'd rather Dumbledore did it this time.
Albus Dumbledore, for all his secrecy, was a much better alternative than Bartemius Crouch. The Hogwarts headmaster was an exceptional wizard, most notably having defeated Gellert Grindelwald in a duel in 1945. He was also an excellent strategist and a great peacemaker. However, he seemed to have an aversion to power and simply enjoyed being at the head of the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
"Yes, I recognise that Dumbledore would be a wise choice," Severus nodded. "Let's not put the cart before the hippogriff, Bagnold has only been in power for a year. And her popularity has risen considerably since the fall of the Dark Lord. It is crazy how certain facts benefit politicians when they have nothing to do with them. Remember when England won the Quidditch World Cup in 1978? It was as if Harold Minchum had caught the Golden Snitch himself!"
Lily chuckled. She remembered the front page of the Prophet. Harold Minchum had been photographed waving the trophy among the victorious players.
"At least this incompetent has been ousted," Lily said.
The victory of the English team did not last long for Harold Minchum, who was unable to stem the rise of Voldemort. His most notable move was to increase the number of Dementors at Azkaban, while the Aurors demanded more resources and new recruits. Two years after the country's victory in the World Cup, Harold Minchum, who had lost most of his supporters, was dismissed and replaced by Millicent Bagnold, his main opponent, after a new election.
Unknown to Lily and Severus, Harry had crept up to them and with his small hands had discreetly stolen one of the newspapers.
"No, Harry," his mother preached gently. "But... it's not the Prophet."
The little boy had stolen - much to Lily's surprise - one of the copies of the magazine that Severus had been reading to him since Monday.
"This is the month of October," Severus read, taking the copy from Harry.
The toddler babbled a few words as he placed his chubby little hands on Severus' arm. There was no doubt that he wanted another reading.
"I think he..."
"I get it," Severus replied. "We'll read the September one first," he said, looking at Harry.
He took the child in his arms and sat down in his armchair, which now matched the sofa. Lily had repaired the tears and dyed the dull fabric a lovely burgundy red. Harry listened intently as Severus read the first article.
"Dragon blood is a great detergent for cleaning your oven," Severus read. "Pure waste, if you want to know my opinion."
Harry nodded in agreement, though Lily doubted her son really understood the meaning of the word detergent.
"Let's read this article about the use of Doxy venom. My word! I feel like I'm reading Witch Weekly!"
Lily let out a discreet laugh, while Harry's head bowed again as a sign of submission.
"Do you have any complaints about Witch Weekly?" Lily laughed. "There are great tips on how to keep a house or how to keep pests away."
"None," Severus replied. "This is supposed to be a serious magazine for passionate potionists, not a vulgar magazine for housewives."
The infant, still on Severus' lap, nodded in agreement. Severus leafed through the magazine, looking for an article that would meet his standards as Potions Master.
"What nonsense... It's deeply distressing," Severus said, frowning. "You know what? We'll use it to build a good fire in the fireplace."
Harry expressed himself with childish glee. His babbling was still very incomprehensible, but he appreciated Severus addressing him directly. Severus stood up, the baby curled up against him, and threw the magazine into the fireplace.
Severus lit the fire and took the next copy, which was more to his liking. Leaving Severus and Harry alone in the sitting room, Lily prepared dinner. She had not cooked since James' death. For lunch she and Sirius had eaten the leftovers from the day before. Severus was a very good cook; Sirius had even recognised him by his lips while he was eating the ragout.
She wanted to make a chicken pie that reminded her of her mother. Mrs. Evans served this comforting dish as soon as the temperatures dropped. Autumn had arrived in Cokeworth. For the first time in days, it had not rained, but the mercury was at its lowest. The first snow would soon fall. Winters were cold, but not as cold as Hogwarts. Lily had always loved snow and hoped to let Harry play in the backyard of Severus' house. Her son knew so little of the outside world, which was the fault of his confinement in both Cokeworth and Godric's Hollow.
Lily kneaded the dough while the chicken simmered in a pot. In the distance, she could hear Severus and Harry continuing their reading. Her friend's voice was both sweet and deep. She found it hard to believe that this teacher, who had so little patience with his students, could show tenderness to her little boy. Harry was attached to Severus. Lily had noticed. He loved to be in his arms, to hear his voice, to play with him. Soon, Harry would say his first word. An important step that James, like dozens of others, would miss. Lily had to stop thinking about what her missing husband would miss. It was unnecessary suffering…
Less than an hour later, the three of them were eating. Harry liked the pie, cut into small pieces. Severus thought it was delicious. It wasn't the first time Lily had cooked for her friend. When they were younger, Lily used to offer him cookies she had made herself. She gave them to him at Christmas and in the summer. Severus loved it, especially since his mother was not the type to bake cakes. The poorly dressed boy she had met in the playground hardly ever ate sweets. Lily remembered that she would sometimes bring back some caramels for them to enjoy together when they met again.
Then Lily put Harry to bed, much more peaceful than he had been during his nap. Then she joined Severus in the living room and asked him to tell her about his day with the students.
"Slughorn turned my students into slugs," he said in a bitter tone.
"What do you mean, slugs? I'd like to know."
"They're worse than before!" said Severus. "They have no sense, if they ever had any!"
Lily chuckled.
"Tell me," she said between two laughs. "How do you treat your students?"
"Well, as with anyone," Severus replied, raising his eyebrows.
"I see... You know you're dealing with young children. How do they behave with you?"
Severus took a moment to think.
"They shrink as soon as they see me..."
"I knew that. You frighten them, Severus," Lily said in a more serious tone.
"But they have to respect me!"
"Did you respect Mr. Lowood?"
Her friend lost all confidence and his face grimaced. Mr. Lowood had been Severus's teacher at St Melchior's. This man pulled his pupils' ears, struck their fingers with a heavy ruler and humiliated them. Severus had been one of his patsies for a year.
"No," he confessed. "I hated that man."
"Then try not to look like him."
"And what am I supposed to do?" he asked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
If Lily could use her influence to improve the learning conditions for the youngest at Hogwarts, she would.
"You don't have to lower your standards. On the contrary... I am sure you have students in your classes who just want to get on. Be patient with them, and in time they will show you true respect and even gratitude. Think of Professors McGonagall, Sprout and Flitwick. Are they lax?"
"No," Severus admitted. "But I don't know how to be... patient, kind."
"Of course you are!" cried Lily. "You're lovely to Harry and me."
"It's not the same thing," Severus countered. "Your son is just a baby, and he's very quiet. You... Well... You're my only friend."
Lily touched her friend's arm gently with the palm of her hand. There was a smile of concern on her lips.
"I'm sure you can, Sev. And it'll be more pleasant for you, more rewarding."
The young man nodded his head. A seed had been planted in Severus' mind. All he had to do was let it germinate.
Then they discussed the latest changes Lily had made to the decor of the sitting room. The living room had been transformed and no longer looked like the sinister place Lily had taken refuge on Halloween night. The young woman's work was not yet finished. She wanted to change the yellowed wallpaper from Mr. Snape's years of smoking. But she didn't know how.
"Which room will you go to next?" asked Severus.
"Your kitchen, but it won't be much work."
"Glad to hear it. What's next?"
"The vestibule. It will be very quick. Then the floor, if I'm still here."
"You're welcome here as long as you like... A week, three months, ten years."
Living with Severus was far from unpleasant. But Lily could not imagine staying in Cokeworth with Harry. She did not want her only child to grow up in that gloomy, poverty-stricken town. The young woman had seen the mining town deteriorate over the years and its future would not be bright.
"Thank you, Sev," she said, stroking her friend's hand. "It touches me."
"I know you'll leave one day... and that's normal. It might be for the best."
Then Lily remembered the terrible words Sirius had spoken that morning. She and Severus had not discussed that heated exchange.
"I argued with Sirius after you left for Hogwarts. His behaviour was not justified. And I'm sorry I was so cold to you this morning... I was afraid you two would fight in front of me."
"I wouldn't have thrown the first punch," Severus said.
"Recent events have shaken him to his core. He feels it is his duty to protect Harry and me. I love him, he's a very good friend..."
Severus frowned at the words.
"I know... it's pretty amazing considering the past," Lily smiled. "In time, maybe even years, you two could find common ground."
"Make an effort and I'll see," his friend capitulated.
Lily smiled and laid her head on Severus' shoulder.
"I also wanted to tell you that I'm not a fragile little thing."
"I had noticed," he said. "You've never been at a loss for words."
"So don't worry about what Sirius says. I won't let you down when Harry and I start a new life. Sirius will not take me away from you, because you are my friend too."
She meant what she said. Despite what he had done, Lily still cared for Severus.