One year later

I didn't want to go to my house. I hadn't been there in a year. Paul and I lived in my dad's hunting cabin. Jared and Kim now lived in my family home, mostly because I couldn't bear to see it empty. I only asked them not to touch Leah's room. I kept it locked and was the only one with a key. I didn't think they'd bother it, but this way I didn't have to worry about their company doing it either.

I turned eighteen two weeks ago. The pack wanted to throw a party for me, but I refused. I wasn't in a celebratory mood these days. Mostly all I felt was anger. I frequently avoided Sam over the last year, and I hadn't seen my traitorous cousin since making her leave my house. The entire pack rejected her. If they hadn't, I'm not sure I would've even made the meager attempt to keep in touch with them.

I wouldn't visit my house at all if not for Kim. She and Jared were expecting, and today was their gender reveal party. Few guests were invited outside the pack, but one person got excluded for my benefit; Bella Swan.

I hadn't come face to face with my imprint since the night I told her to stay away from me. I didn't know if she'd kept in touch with the pack and truly I didn't care. I'd occasionally spend a few nights sleeping as my wolf in the woods outside her house, but she never knew I was there. It was only to soothe the imprint and the pain the distance caused. If not for the godforsaken imprint I wouldn't have gone at all.

I thanked the spirits every day for Paul. I got diagnosed with PTSD a month after we moved into Dad's cabin. I'd only went to the doctor because I couldn't force myself to go to school. On my first day back, I broke a guy's nose when he commented on Sam and Emily. I agreed with what he said, but the more I considered the situation, the angrier I got. It reminded me of the betrayal Leah would have felt if she could see them now.

Paul took me to a clinic in Forks and sat with me through therapy. They didn't know I shared my body with an uncontrollable animal, but their note got me off the hook for my truancy and allowed me to graduate.

Paul didn't let me shy away from things that were triggering. He made me drive again. We drove the same road we wrecked on until I'd memorized every inch. He even made me practice in Leah's car. I'd become desensitized to driving and being in her car without her, but approaching the house gave me anxiety. Jared and Kim had promised to change little, but surely there would be differences. It wasn't my parent's home anymore. Leah probably wouldn't recognize it if she were here. But, she'd never be here.

Paul drove us to the party. He pushed me, sure, but he wasn't cruel. It would be nice to see some of them. I'd not seen Quil, Jake, or Embry in two months. I only patrolled with Paul or Jared. They were the best at controlling their thoughts of Sam and Emily.

Jake wasn't alpha yet and still claimed he planned to take it over. I knew Jake had to be in contact with Bella, even if he didn't tell me. Charlie and Billy had always been close, so surely she was around. He may have snubbed her, but I ignored him in case he didn't. I didn't care to get regular updates about her.

For weeks everyone but Paul had tried to convince me to see her, and we discussed it the day we moved into the cabin.

Paul asked, "You finally get it, don't you?"

I didn't. "Get what?"

"The Cullens ruined both of our lives. If they never came here we'd still have your parents and Leah. Bella is just as bad as they are now."

"I never want to see Bella again." I agreed.

"Good. You know why she didn't go with us to Neah Bay, right? Alice, the one who called her. She's the psychic. She saw Sue and Leah dying and made sure Bella wasn't with us. They could've stopped it, but they didn't."

That was all I needed to hear. The pieces had all fallen into place after that. It made sense that Bella wouldn't take my nephew and Carlisle wouldn't take me in. They both felt guilty for their role in killing his mother. I was unconvinced Bella knew, but Paul insisted. Regardless, she abandoned and betrayed me when I needed her the most.

We were the first to arrive for the party. Jared asked us to help him with some of the setup as Kim ran outside to greet me. She threw her arms around me and hugged me tight, like always. Her pregnancy was barely showing, and I was glad. The last pregnant woman I'd seen or embraced was Leah, and I needed nothing else to remind me of her, of my losses or missing nephew. Today was about Jared and Kim.

Kim put me to work, catching me up on everything happening in her life while I helped her. As I listened to her talking, I realized there was only one thing I found bothersome about Kim; she didn't like Paul. It made little sense. He was close to Jared and had stepped up for me when others wouldn't or couldn't.

Kim tried to invite me alone to things dozens of times and her face always fell when Paul arrived. Despite seeing her more than most of my brothers over the last year, I could never find the appropriate time or place to ask what he'd done.

"Bella wishes she could make it today," Kim said, interrupting my focus on the task. "I didn't have to un-invite her, she had plans anyway."

She didn't have to tell me Bella still hung around, either. Bella's scent was thick in the air, both in and outside the house, and I could already tell she'd been there within the last day or two. I knew she was friends with Kim, but not how often they were together. If it weren't so painful, I'd come here more often. Her scent would keep me from having to sleep near her house sometimes. It was something to consider.

I hated myself for wanting to ask what her plans were, but I still found the words on the tip of my tongue. "Yeah? What's she into today? Find someone else to betray?"

"Seth, she didn't-"

I held my hand up. "I'm not interested, Kim. If she didn't go to Sam, it's a massive coincidence that the last thing she told me was that I wasn't in control of myself, which is exactly what he said when he confronted me. He specifically told me to stay away from her." I sighed, immediately regretting bringing it up. "How is she anyway?"

I don't know why I was torturing myself. If Bella felt happier, I'd be upset that she didn't feel any of the pull of the imprint. If she felt bad, I'd be upset that she was struggling. It was a no-win situation.

"She's had a bit of a falling out with most of the Cullens." Kim sighed. "She's still with Edward, but things are tense."

I couldn't stop myself from asking, "Tense? How?"

Kim at down at the table next to me. "I shouldn't be telling you this. If you tell her, I'll nicely ask Jared to kick your ass."

I laughed. "Kim, I'm never speaking to the leech lover again. Your secret is safe with me."

"You shouldn't call her that. It makes you sound like Paul." Kim frowned. "Bella accused the Cullens of knowing what would happen to Leah and Sue. Alice told Bella she couldn't see past you or Paul, but she couldn't see Bella anymore after that day. She knew Bella was going to die if she didn't come to their house, but swore she couldn't see your family. Bella told Alice it's her fault, that they're gone because she withheld that information, and it's why you're gone, too. Edward didn't like it one bit."

That was rich. Bella blamed someone else for the destruction of our relationship. "Bella killed what little hope and goodness I had left, Kim. She can't blame Alice for that. Alice wasn't the one who went to Sam."

Kim scoffed. "Funny story about that-"

The pack's loud arrival interrupted her. They were all more excited to see me than I was to see them. Jake kept checking his phone and frowning at me, and I had a feeling it was Bella he was talking to. I wasn't mad at Kim, but Jake knew my temper had a hair trigger. All he'd have to do is mention Bella once, and I'd be at his throat.

It scared me how much I enjoyed fighting. If not for Charlie Swan, I'd have a mile-long rap sheet. One perk of being a wolf was that I looked a lot older than I was. I'd go to bars in surrounding counties, get into fights, and then call Charlie to get me out of trouble. He was long past tired of it, but most of the time I was fighting some dirtbag even he'd like to throw a punch at. The drive back to the cabin was always hell, but if I called Paul, the charges would stick. I spent more time in the back of Charlie's cruiser than in my bed.

Quil got on the wrong side of my temper a few months ago, and our friendship barely survived. Even after my fight with Sam, the others still underestimated me. Despite Quil's size advantage, our brawl didn't end well for him. Most of the guys were glad our avoidance was mutual because they never knew what would set me off.

If only they knew I didn't know either.

Charlie and Billy were at the party. It was different from the last time they'd been in this house with me, but we were all better for it. The hunting cabin kept me away from the public, and I needed that. The distance was good for me. I hated how others watched me like I could snap at any second. If someone pissed me off here, I'd leave. I respected Kim too much to create a scene at her party.

Thankfully, my sister never had a gender reveal since she didn't want to know what she was having. Leah even refused to have a baby shower. She said there were a lot of families less fortunate than us and needed gifts more than she did. She still hadn't bought everything needed for her baby yet when she died. What she had, I gave to Kim. She'd done more for me than anyone besides Paul.

Kim called on me when she needed something throughout the party, forcing me to socialize with her during the task, but never to mingle with the others. Grateful for her understanding, I helped her with anything she asked and even thanked her for the distractions. She had planned a simple gender reveal. They were going to pop a balloon filled with colored confetti.

I almost felt bad that Bella hadn't come. She was the one to go to the doctor with Kim and order the balloon. The cake was Bella's creation, too, and the color inside showed the gender. She deserved to be here more than me, but Kim insisted I be there, so there I was.

Paul and I had found different ways to cope over the last year. I let my anger out on everything around me, with the sole exceptions being him and Kim. Paul's outlet was sex. He had slept with so many women in the past few months, trying to get my sister out of his head. He had nothing to feel guilty about since their relationship was platonic. Leah wouldn't want him to do that to himself, but I knew she'd understand the lengths we'd both go to for a single second of reprieve from the pain we felt every day. She'd hate what I was doing even more.

It bothered me to see Paul hitting on a girl in the corner at the party as everyone else focused on Kim, but the sight of my blood-stained clothes every Sunday morning probably did the same to him.

We all filed out to the backyard when it was time for the balloon to pop. Jared carried it carefully and handed a large needle to Kim. She was almost as clumsy as Bella, so it wouldn't have surprised me if she popped it accidentally before anyone was ready or somehow impaled him with it.

She asked me to film it for her, so there I stood with her phone in my hand. I watched through the screen as Jared held the balloon before her and everyone counted down until she stuck it with the needle. Pink confetti flew across the yard. I audibly sighed in relief. I had hoped they'd have a girl because seeing them raise a boy, not my nephew, in my family's old home would have been difficult to fathom.

I stopped the video and locked Kim's phone to hand back to her when a message popped up.

Bella: Can you send Jared to get me after the party? Things didn't go well with Edward.

I felt guilty for reading the message. A tiny part of me felt bad for Bella and hoped things were okay, but mostly I felt indifferent. It was hard to feel anything other than anger where Bella was concerned. I hugged Kim when I handed her phone back to her and told her I was leaving. She tried to stop me, but I knew she'd get Bella soon. Despite how I felt toward Bella now, I didn't want to keep her from her closest friend.

I searched the yard for Paul but saw he was still chatting up the blonde girl he'd been with earlier. I didn't interrupt. I didn't even take Leah's car, I just walked toward our cabin until I was far enough away from the crowd to phase.

There were a few reasons we rarely had guests at the cabin. One of those reasons was that I was still very much in mourning and didn't want the company. My grief, alongside my anger, was uncontrollable, and I needed a safe space I could let it out when I had to. The bigger reason was that my bedroom looked like a crime scene. Above my desk there were dozens of photos and newspaper articles plastered to a board. Those photos were of infants the same age as my nephew and families who adopted them shortly after he got taken. I had one living family member left, and I was going to find him.