Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time

Episode 5: Canon (finally) Begins/Join (in) the Fight, Shinji

(Warning: All intellectual properties belong to their respective copyright holders/original creators. EVA to Gainax, Reality Warpers to Yoshi3000, you get the idea.)

(Opening Theme: "Reverse/Rebirth" by Iwagana Hiroaki and Kimijima Asaya)

August 2015. Zero Hour. Sachiel AKA, the third Angel was going to make its presence known after the world had 15 years to rebuild from the mistakes of the past...and I forgot to hook up the JSDF with the weapon upgrades I wanted to give to them in time. Crap. Anything the army could throw at the freakalope, it threw back two fold, swatting VTOLs out of the air like it was nothing. And where was I in all this? Racing down an empty road with Misato in the backseat of her car on our way to pick up Shinji, which the camera crew thought would be a good time to actually check in on him.

(POV Shift: Shinji Ikari EVA-12385267)

"We're sorry, but due to the state of emergency issued by the government, all non-esential phone lines around the Tokyo 3 area have been temporarily disabled. Please hang up and try again once the situation has been dealt with. Goodbye."

"Seriously? This is what Aunt Miyako and Uncle Keiji's tax Yen are paying for? It's times like this that I'm actually glad that we're not even in the country most of the time. Although, I guess it wouldn't hurt to take it easy and just stay in the country once in a while. I mean traveling around and scavenging the treasures left behind by Second Impact's fine and dandy and all, but it can get pretty tiring from time to time."

I then take out a torn in two piece of paper taped back together that read the following:

"Dear Boy,

The time has come for us to meet face to face. Report to Tokyo 3 at once where Major Misato Katsuragi will bring you directly to me.

Your Father"

"If that rat bastard thinks he can win me over after all these years by getting some broad to show a little skin, he's got another thing coming. I don't mean any disrespect towards Grandma Shiki, but first chance I get, I'm giving that sumbyatch what for."

I eventually sigh before saying "Talking to myself, I am closer than ever to hitting rock bottom."

Just then, another squad of VTOLs whooshes above me as I look in the other direction, only to come in contact with something big, destructive and ugly.

"What the hell is that thing?!"

I can only witness Sachiel bring down the aircraft like they were nothing, inching ever closer to my location until my hopefully saving grace comes screeching to the rescue. Then some guy with a purple haired broad at the wheel open the passenger side door and says "Shinji Ikari, come with us if you want to live."

"Since this is kind of a do or die situation, I'm gonna let that stupid "Terminator 2" joke slide."

(POV Shift: Me)

Next thing we know, we're barreling down the abandoned roads doing at least 65 as Misato and I start filling the boy in on some of the major details.

"Alright, 1: who the hell are you people? And 2: what in the name of whatever was that thing?"

Which I reply "1: I'm Desmond Bishops and the person driving is Misato Katsuragi, we work for the same agency as your father. And 2, the giant freak of nature you saw is what's technically refered to by NERV as an "Angel", though I wanted to call them something better like "Apostalos", "Kaiju" or "Giant Ass Freaks of Nature".

To which Misato adds "Which I was all for. Basically, our whole deal is to bring down guys like that in order to keep the world safe. Oh, I almost forgot."

She then takes her eyes off the road to hand Shinji the handbook you see him read during most of episode 1 before saying "You might wanna read through that, considering that it just might help explain things a little bit better."

"Eyes on the road, eyes on the road!"

"Sorry."

Note to self: never get in a car with Misato behind the wheel ever again. At least the rest of the ride was smooth enough...at least until we got to the part involving the N2 missile. Bruised and battered with Misato's car taking the brunt of it, we finally make our way into the GeoFront.

"Uh, quick question: why are there buildings hanging from the roof?"

My answer: "Tokyo 3 was designed with defensive measures that clear out buildings by placing them underground in order to avoid unnecessary colateral damage. Don't worry, you'll get used to seeing it."

A few moments and a tram ride later, and the three of us come face to face with Dr. Akagi, complete with the same blueish green one piece and snorkeling gear as anime canon.

"There you three are. What the hell took you so long?"

Which I reply to by saying "Well excuse us for not wanting to turned into thermonuclear vapor at the hands of a goddamn N2 missile. Who in their right mind gave that order while I was away?"

"Well, with you gone, Commander Ikari kind of saw it fit to well...give orders in your absence."

Of course it was that asshole.

"Remind me to really give him what for once this is all over."

She turns her attention to Shinji before going "So this is the third child, huh? It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Please tell me that you're the one who's gonna tell me just what is going on here."

"There will be time for that later. Right now, we need to get you to the main hangar area."

From there, it's a mad dash to the main hangar as the four of us come face to partially obstructed face with Unit 01 itself. You'd think you'd get the canon response to this out of Shinji, but surprisingly, I didn't.

"Alright, this is the final straw. Somebody needs to tell me why the fuck there's a freaking giant robot looking thing down here, why we're under attack by some three clawed freak of nature, and exactly what the fuck is going on right now. You people keep telling me that I'm supposed to be here for a reason, and once again when I ask about it, I get left in the dark. It's really starting to piss me off!"

To which Misato responds "What we're looking at is our best shot against the Angels: the bio-mechanical combat machine, Evangelion Unit 01."

"A machine which you will pilot."

We all turn around to see Gendo in all of his smug assed-ness staring down at us like we were nothing.

"Hello, boy."

Oh, he was so gonna get it when I was done with him.

"You think that just because I'm not here directly that you can give the order to launch an N2 missile without my permission? When this is over, you and I are going to have a long, violent talk about this."

"I did what was neccessary to halt the Angel's approach into the city."

Shinji decides to join in the conversation by adding "Alright old man, you somehow managed to get me to come here, so what do you want?"

"Thanks to our mutual nemesis on the surface, I finally have some need of your service. As much as I hate to admit it, you are the only person truly capable of piloting this machine into combat, and therefore are ordered by NERV and the Japanese government to combat this threat at once."

You know, I really should stop expecting the canon responses from this Shinji by this point, because what happened next would probably throw any Evangelion fan by surprise.

"Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa. Hold on a minute. You expect me to step into that lumbering behemoth and fight a gigantic Eldrich abomination with zero combat training, zero experience, and a bare bones 9th Grade level education? You seriously expect me to do what you say after you left me for dead at a train station when I was just three years old without ANY sign of remorse for the last ELEVEN YEARS, and act like nothing ever happened and everything between us is just peachy keen?"

Of course I knew that this was the plan the whole time, but even I had to act surprised about this.

"Let me get this straight, this was the actual plan the whole time and not some sort of sick joke formed by you? You actually want to put the fate of the world in the hands of an untrained, inexperienced minor by forcing him to do things that would technically be qualified as violations of both Child Labor and Child Soldier laws and you two are okay with this?"

Let me describe my next course of action like this: you know that one scene in the first Guardians of the Galaxy where Rocket Raccoon just laughs off Star Lord for not really having a plan to stop Ronan and his Infinity Stone? Well my reaction to this is pretty much the same as his, only after Shinji joined in for a short while, I instantly blurt out loud and clear "YOU PEOPLE ARE MOTHERFUCKING INSANE!"

"Thank you! Finally, someone who makes sense in this goddamn madhouse!"

"You dare forsake humanity?"

"No, you forsoke humanity when you thought it was a good idea to fight giant monsters using untrained child labor! Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

"Why you ungrateful little..."

Okay, time for me to step in before Gendo makes things worse!

"Stand down, "Commander"! I think you've already done enough damage as is!"

I quickly stop Shinji before he can reach the elevator door before throwing him an offer he can't possibly refuse.

"Hold it. Look kid, believe me when I say that these people are possibly criminally insane, and right now, I wouldn't trust 'em as far as I can throw 'em, but as asinine as it sounds, you really are the only person who can properly use that thing to take down that giant freak of nature out there."

"Try and butter me up all you want, I ain't risking my life for that douchebag."

"What if I were able to make it truly worth your while? And besides, it's either you or the other pilot they have on staff, and she's really in no shape to be doing anything for a long time."

That's when I take out my phone and show him camera footage of Rei in her hospital bed with medics on standby to have her wheeled into the hangar. Right down from the moment I saw him, I had a hunch that he was a sucker for a girl in distress, and for once during this whole charade, I was right on what the expected results were.

"Alright fine, but if you're gonna make it worth risking my ass out there, you better have something real good to offer up."

A few moments of negotiations later and Shinji returns to face the others.

"I don't know how, but by some miracle, this guy convinced me to fight alongside you guys...at a cost."

Leading Misato to ask "What do you mean 'cost'."

"25,000,000 Yen a week plus an additional 15,000,000 for every deployment along with an additional 10,000,000 for every confirmed kill, totalling at maximum $5,000,000 American and 2.5 Million dollars at minimum."

"Why you little brat, you think that you can make us pay you to..."

"What did I just say, Ikari? These payments were negotiated between your son and myself, meaning that you have no say in the matter as it now seems that I have to remind you of this fact, I outrank you. Meaning that if you have problems with how I run things, you can just pack up your office and get out!"

I didn't need supersanity to know that I had him beaten...again.

"Grrrrrr! Get the pilot ready for deployment, now!"

"Alright kid, when you get inside of the cockpit, some things are gonna happen, and that's perfectly normal. If you start to freak out about the thing filling up with orange Tang like liquid, don't, that stuff's fully breathable and it's supposed to I think help you control the EVA or something. And if you need any help, I'll be able to give you some assitance from the sidelines."

"This better be worth what I'm getting paid for."

The whole system boot up sequence goes just like in canon with Shinji having a Synch Rate of 28.3%. But as he was getting ready to be launched into the fight against Sachiel, I could sense another malevolent energy signature in the city, and a pretty strong one at that. I had to make up an excuse to get out there, and I had to do it quick.

"I need to take care of our new pilot's contract with us. Katsuragi, I begrudgingly had control over the field to you. Hyuga, Ibuki, Aoba, help Shinji in any way possible. And Ikari, try not to dig a deeper hole for yourself while I'm gone. One more instance of throwing your supposed weight around, and you'll be on latrine duty for the next year."

I can only imagine Gendo seething with rage and hatred of me as I rush out of the room and summon my new set of armor through the watch Merch gave me. Thankfully once I was in costume and in the center of town, all of the civilians had been evacuated into emergency shelters. And that's when I came face to face with the source of the energy signature, right in front of the gigantic bird masked freakalope.

"Who dares to interfere with the destrution of the Lilim brought forth by my master Sachiel, Angel of the tides?"

"The guy who's gonna bring you down and stop your giant friend from trashing my planet, that's who. Now, permit me to ask who the hell you are so I know who I'm thrashing."

"I am the herald of Sachiel, Angel of the tides. The Lilim in this city are holding our mother, Lilith hostage down below. We are here to liberate her so that we may wreak vengance on the ingrateful Lilim scourge that imprisoned her here by destroying their world."

"Yeah, well while your big friend deals with a friend of mine, if you want to get to Lilith, you'll have to go through me first."

"That can be arranged."

(Track Change: "Goku Vs Jeice & Burtur Theme (Bruce Faulconer and Crew Version)")

If Power Rangers has taught me one thing in this lifetime, it's "take down the human sized monster, then take 'em down again when they grow to the size of a large skyscraper", so I charge in with Ultimate Rising Titan Sword drawn to go in for a downward slash, only for the herald to block the blade with a pair of elbow mounted bone blades of its own before sending me backwards. That's when the smaller beak faced bastard charges at me and manages to get a slash in, hitting my chest plate before I kick him back.

"Hey! Do you have any idea how much an armored combat suit like this cost?!"

"Your concerns over costumery and trade goods are the least of your worries, Lilim filth. Prepare to be annihilated."

So that's how he wants it to go down. Well my answer to that is bring it on! But before I just try charging in blindly again, maybe I oughta do my research on this guy. Thank Primus that the helmet of this suit came with a built in Scouter with a high power level limit so I could get a proper reading on this guy and assess my battle plan.

"Hmmmm, fascinating."

"What are you saying, fool?"

"Well it's like this: I happen to have a way of determining just how strong my opponent is, and according to it, your big ugly friend who's fighting with the giant purple monster happens to be about as strong as my mentor when she first started training me in combat. You on the other hand happen to only be less than half of what big boy is. Therefore, I should still be able to beat you without really overexerting myself too much."

"You really believe that you can still defeat me? I scoff at your assumptions!"

"How about I prove it to you, right here, right now."

(Track Change: "Red Desire" by Masayuki Tanaka- Kamen Rider Kuuga OST)

"First I'll tap into the power of the Kaio Ken! And to make it a proper warm up, I'll start by going to x3!"

The crimson Ki surge surrounds me as I fly into the air and charge up an attack.

"Next I'll combine it with something I like to call "Dai Gurren Thunder Ball"!"

I charge up two orbs of blue-ish white Spiral Ki, each of them surging with Bio-Electricity all around them before I combine them into a singular sphere and shoot it down towards the "herald" as it envelops it. Did it work? Well, yes and no. No because of the fact that the thing was still alive, but yes because it was kinda dinged up. Of course that didn't stop me from trying to keep the heat on it as I charge in amping up the amplification to x5 and going in for a swift series of punches, kicks and chops that seemed to be doing their job...that is until the freakalope flared up its Ki (how it has it and knows how to use it, I'll probably never know), nailed me with a hammer arm and a side jackknife kick that sent me flying into a nearby building...right when Unit 01 was thrown into it by the big Sachiel.

"I'm getting my ass handed to me out here with just this stupid knife! Can't you guys give me something that could really do some damage, like oh, I don't know, a sword, some sort of laser gun, or something better than just a stupid giant bowie knife?"

"You'll use what you're given until you have been properly trained in firearms, boy."

"Did I ask for your opinion, you child abandoning jackass?!"

"Grrrrr. Fuyustuki, remind me to strangle the boy when this is all said and done."

"Sir, I don't believe that is a good idea. After all, he is..."

"Shut up."

If I wasn't mistaken, the building that Shinji crashed into and caused the debris to fall on me was supposed to be the home of Toji and Sakura Suzuhara, but thing was unlike canon, I couldn't sense their Ki signatures in the entire building...at all. So if the building falling down wasn't gonna be the cause of Sakura's injuries, than what was? I could think about this later, considering that this was the part of the canon fight where Unit 01 was about to go berserk for the first time, meaning that if Shinji needed my help then, he's gonna need it more than ever now. Focusing on trying to open a telepathic communications channel with the third child, I finally manage to get through as I say "Kid. Hey kid, can you hear me?"

"Yeah I can hear you, and where the hell have you been? Weren't you supposed to oh, I don't know...help me beat this thing?!"

"Yes, I'm aware of that, but let's just say something came up involving some sort of vigilante fighting a more human sized monster that was apparently accompanying our big ugly ass friend you're fighting."

"And this affects the whole situation between us how?"

"Look, Once big, ugly and beak faced starts stabbing your EVA's left eye, it's gonna start moving on its own. What I want you to do is just let it do what it's gonna do while our vigilante friend deals with the Angel's human sized buddy. Got it?"

"That's your idea of helping?"

"Just trust me, I know what I'm doing."

Sachiel starts jabbing on of its elbow spikes into Unit 01's left eye until it finally goes berserk like in canon. And while those two fight it out like they do in canon, I quickly notice that its herald started charging up Ki to increase its power level for possibly one final attack to finish me off. I knew that I had to wrap this up quick, and at this rate, I'd have to do something drastic.

"This is your end, pathetic Lilim!"

"I don't know what you're planning, but whatever it is, I'm putting an end to it here and now. Here I go, Kaio Ken x12!"

With as much of my strength as I can muster, I throw in my endgame by charging towards the herald while charging as much Spiral Ki as possible into my right fist. And with one shout of "Finishing Move: Neurtrino Knuckle!", this fight was over as Sachiel's herald falls backwards and explodes behind me. Now all that was left was for me to bring down his big friend before my body completely shuts down on me due to the Kaio Ken's strain. I quickly summon my Anti AT Field shooting Unmaker using my watch's weapon spawning function and fly towards the freak of nature, and just in time as it was getting ready to glob onto Unit 01 and do its canon self destruct attack. One shot, that's all I needed to bring it down right before it could put its endgame into action as I kick it into the air before firing off a single shot from my Unmaker and making sure NERV couldn't get their hands on the remains with a well timed Galic Gun in mid air. Now all that was really left to do was tie up the loose ends.

"You still alive in there, kid?"

"Yeah, no thanks to you."

"Hey, my plan worked, didn't it? Now listen, I kinda need you to do one last little job: you think you can fake being knocked out and not remembering what happened out there?"

"You got to be kidding me."

"I'll throw in another $100,000."

"Alright, you got a deal."

Well, one bunch of pointless crap that doesn't need to be explained later, and I'm back inside NERV HQ in my normal garb approaching the bridge. Once I'm in, I quickly go towards Musashi and go "Sorry about taking so long, when I was going to get the contract papers, I somehow wound up becoming part of the straggler sensory sweep group. What'd I miss?"

"I took the liberty of having the bridge crew record the fight in case you wanted to have a meeting about the situations involved."

"Where would I be without you? Also, you wouldn't know a better way into the document area, would you? There's no way in hell I'm going back the way I did the first time."

"I'll be more than happy to escort you personally, sir."

Another batch of paperwork and a debriefing of the mission later, and I'm finally back home, near completely exhausted even with the use of a Senzu bean. Right now, all I wanted to really do was just sit down, kick back, relax and catch up on Steven Universe Blackthorned's season 3 finale. My chances for relaxation though were halted when a certain magenta head comes through my door with papers in tow.

"I'm guessing one of the maids let you in?"

"Yes sir, the green haired one."

"Well, since you took the time to come visit me at home, what can I help you with?"

"Well I was going over some of the papers that you'll need to sign off on for the third child's contract, and I noticed a little something unusual."

"And that would be?"

"Well, according to these papers regarding his first payment, and according to the numbers, we have his first payment set to 51,000,000 Yen, a million more than what we would be paying him for his deployment and successful kill of the Angel."

"Oh that. Well since we kinda sent him out there with let me remind you zero combat experience or formal training, it only seemed fair to add a little bonus for his troubles."

"As admirable as that is, we really should consider renegotiating these terms for a smaller rate, otherwise this could possibly bankrupt not just the city, but the entire nation as a whole."

"Ms. Musashi, while you do make a decent point, I should at least try and get you to see things from the boy's perspective. I mean think about it: if you were thrust into the front lines of a war that you didn't create without even the most basic form of training to fight what could only be considered to be an Eldrich abomination on steroids, PEDs, and possibly Smack, wouldn't you want a pretty high price tag for your services?"

"Well, yes, but that still..."

"If it makes you feel better, I will talk to Mr. Ikari and try and renegotiate his prices the next time I have a chance to talk to him personally. Does that sound good to you?"

She knows when she's beat as she replies "Well, I suppose that's the best I can hope for right now. Thank you for taking it into consideration, sir."

"Well considering that we actually kinda need the city to fight these guys, I suppose it's the very least I can do to give us at least a fighting chance."

She leaves the room with a sense of security while I finally get to turn on the TV. Switching to the interdimensional feed, I wind up finding a news channel that I could actually get behind, and what they were reporting on was something that I seriously deserved to know as Warper versions of Whis and Beerus from Dragon Ball Super disclose the info.

"Continuing our coverage of our top story, in light of recent revelations of involvement with the Frost family along with numerous crimes which violate the Warper Law of Neutrality, elite council member Rebecca Dill has not only been removed from her position, but as of our most recent development, has been assassinated in her home on planet Shin Vega.

I swear that I could hear people behind the camera cheering for that announcement while I think a Warper version of Universe 6 Saiyan Cabba shouts out "Ding Dong, the wicked witch is dead!"

"It's about time! The nerve of that pathetic ex-Time Patrol member, trying to fine me for doing my job of destroying worlds. You don't fine a destroyer for destroying, Whis. It's just not done. I'm surprised that a Supreme Kai of Time was even willing to work with her for so long."

"I know, my lord. At least elite council members Kris and Katsumi were willing to contest the fines so you won't have to pay. Plus that version of lady Chronoa was completely unaware of Dill's crimes until after they were revealed to the public."

"They better make it that way, otherwise they'll be hearing from my attorney."

"Moving on, according to the most recent season finale of Steven Universe Blackthorned, the person responsible for Dill's death is confirmed to be one Genevieve Blackthorn II, one of the younger members of the legendary Blackthorn clan."

"Seems appropriate despite me being the one who claimed the reward on that Saiyan brat's head. After all, it's no secret that Blackthorns aren't well known for being Dill supporters. How old is she anyway? I doubt that she's any older than Ryker."

"I believe that she's currently 16, my lord."

"My, those Blackthorns just keep managing to churn out prominent Warpers who make their marks earlier and earlier in their lives, don't they?"

"Well, considering that elite councilwoman Katsumi is only 15, that statement wouldn't be so much of a lie, now would it?"

I swear, I almost crack up laughing when Beerus spits out his coffee from hearing about this girl's age.

"What?! 15 years old?! We're actually letting a teenager deal with the affairs of the Multiverse?!

"Now now, she's been doing a very fine job for those affected by Dill's actions, even offering a formal apology to former elite councilwoman Chronoa by contributing sizable contributions to her timeline's version of the Time Patrol. She's even been offering reparations for those who were effected by Elvin Frost's tyranny a chance to gain at least some form of restitution."

"Well that's all fine and dandy, but what about the shmucks like me who got screwed over by Dill and not the Frost family?"

"I was getting to that. Now then, in light of the revelations of crimes committed across Warper-kind done by the former elite council member, WNN has teamed up with the Order of Reality to set up a web page to help Warpers affected gain the proper restitution they deserve. Simply go to the link on the WNN homepage and enter your name to see if you qualify for reparations from the Dill estate on planet Shin Vega."

"I better be on that list, Whis."

"One can only hope, lord Beerus. One can only hope. Still to come this hour, we have our interview with that upstart batch of Warpers from the Total Drama timelines that managed to bring down a Patrick Star horde along with the versions of Susan and Mary Test responsible for their creation. That and more after this word form our sponsors."

Of course there was at least one corrupt politician in that group, and I always had a hunch that it was her. Being the ever curious being that I am, I had to see if she somehow screwed me over in some way. I grab my phone from the sofa cushion next to me as I almost instantly go straight to the link on WNN's website and enter my name in the box before hitting enter and seeing the results.

List of all Warper on Warper Crimes Committed by Rebecca Dill on Desmond Bishops

Unregistered and Unwarranted Surveilance

Bounty Rigging

Unwarranted Order of Assassination

Theft of Mail Order Warper Goods

Eligible for Reparation Rewards from Dill Estate of Shin Vega

She was spying on me, AND was stealing my Warp Crates?! I am now very much happy that she's dead. Well, if she tried to screw me over, I might as well get even by taking some of her stuff. Now, normally I'd just use my portal gun to go where I wanna go, but there was kinda one problem with that: the dead thorn in my side set up an anti-portal gun field around the planet that the Order hasn't been able to crack yet. This only left me with one option that I've only so far practiced with making smaller tests that I couldn't completely fit through: make my own portal to get there. Readying myself for whatever comes, I get into position and start circling my right arm in the same style as the sorcerers from the MCU Doctor Strange movie while focusing my Flames of Creation to making a gateway to my destination: planet Shin Vega. I find myself in some sort of beach-y landscape in front of a large cliff, taking in my surroundings and trying to figure out if I actually went to where I wanted to go until I'm met by the face of someone I instinctively knew not to mess with.

"Let me guess, you were one of the many Warpers screwed over by Dill and you're looking for a little payback."

I can't really explain how, but for some reason, this one girl who's probably no more than her late teens (at least by Gundam Build Fighters Try, Senran Kagura, or Ikki Tousen standards) somehow has me, a grown ass man intimidated by sheer prescience alone (and no, not like that. Get your heads out of the gutter!). I swear, it was like she was drilling the point of "do not cross me" into my skull with just her stare.

"Uh, yes, ma'm."

To which she replies "Well, you wouldn't be the first one to show up. Follow me and I can get you to the line at the Dill estate. If you can deal with a fairly long line, you'll get your dues. I just need your name first."

"Desmond Bishops, ma'm."

That's when she pulls up a list of names on a tablet before responding "Ah, here you are. Follow me."

A few moments of flying later, and we manage to land in front of a gigantic mansion with a huge line at the front gate.

"Alright, if you wait at the back of the line, you'll get your dues. Shouldn't be any more than like, 30 to 45 minutes. Think you can handle that?"

"That'll be perfectly fine. Thank you for your assistance, Ms...I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Genevieve Blackthorn Jr., you may call me "Evie"."

I was being starred down and escorted by the same person that iced that jerk wad Dill, no wonder she had that level of intimidation on me. About 38 minutes of waiting in line later, and I find myself at the front of the line in front of elite council member Katsumi, and let just say this now: she has a higher intimidation factor than Evie.

"Ah, Mr. Bishops. A pleasure to finally make your acquaintance."

"In all due respect, the honor is mine, Ms. Councilwoman, ma'm."

"Now then, is there anything in particular you had in mind of claiming from Dill's estate?"

"You know, I haven't really thought about it quite yet. She wouldn't happen to have anything like a collection of swords or pilotable mechs still lying around, or have all those been claimed?"

Katsumi then pulls up some listings on a tablet of her own before replying "Actually, you're in luck. If you follow me, I can escort you to their locations."

"Lead the way, Ms. Councilwoman."

Our first stop: one of the armory vaults on the 4th floor where I ultimately decide on grabbing a few Phantoblades from Winx Club along with stuff like a couple High Frequency Blades from Metal Gear Rising and a version of Black Luster Soldier's sword from Yu-Gi-Oh. Hey, say what you want about Winx Club, at least it came up with some pretty cool looking weapons for the characters who couldn't do magic. Next stop: one of Dill's sub basement levels housing a surprising amount of pilotable mechs ranging from Arms Slaves from Full Metal Panic, some major villain Mobile Suits, various Knightmare Frames from Code Geass, hell, even some Transformers that looked like they could be piloted. As much as I loved the Gundam series, I was gravitating towards the Cybertronian options that I had as I asked "That tablet wouldn't happen to have a list of these Transformers that haven't been claimed yet, would it?"

Well, that was pretty stupid of me to ask as she pulls up the list and replies "It looks like your options are limited to Tranzector versions of Armada Dirge, Transmetal Tarantulus, Animated Skywarp, G1 versions of Thundercracker and Demolisher, Robots in Disguise 2001 Nemesis Prime, Surprisingly Bayverse Nitro Zeus and Transmetal Waspinator, and Cybertron Vector Prime."

"Not gonna lie, I'm actually kinda surprised that she has an Autobot member of the 13 original Primes in with all these Decepticons and Predacons as opposed to like maybe 2015's version of the Fallen. I mean that design does look a lot better than the Michael Bay version by a long shot."

Her answer for me: "I'd say she probably has it around just because Vector Prime's main power is supposedly to travel in between time and space, pretty much making a pilotable version of it a viable transport for Warpers looking to bring home large amounts of goods from another dimension. I wouldn't be surprised if she used it back during her days in the Time Patrol to haul the rest of the Zangyaku around to cause mischief."

"Yeah, I guess I wouldn't put it against her. Alright, I'll take the Vector Prime, and are those versions of Shin Knight Gundam and the Lancelot Albion claimed?"

Katsumi then spawns three sets of keys from her tablet before tossing them to me and saying "All yours. Would you like them placed in capsules for easy storage?"

"You know what, sure, why not?"

A few moments later, and I have a small container of Capsule Corp. capsules containing everything I claimed.

"Alright, I think I've managed to take enough of her stuff in order to get even. Thank you for this opportunity, Ms. Blackthorn."

She replies "You're welcome, and I would like to personally extend an apology on behalf of myself and the entire Order of Reality for failing to act on Dill's actions before it was too late."

"I guess it isn't entirely the fault of the Order. After all, she was hiding behind her diplomatic immunity after she somehow rose to power in order to cover her ass for crimes committed during her time with the Time Patrol along with Kris. The only thing that separates the two of them is that he was actually willing to try and fix the damage done, albeit a bit too late of an act."

"We were all too late to act before things went too far. The only thing we can do now is fix as much of the damage as possible and try and repair relations with those affected by her wrong doings."

"Well I'd say that this is at least a decent start."

After some more pleasantries and an invitation to meet the rest of the clan at some unknown future date, I finally make my way home and ready to store the capsule-fied items I had obtained. After stowing them inside of the GARD, I saw that it was already sundown, which might have proved my theory about time flowing faster or slower depending on which timeline you wind up in. With that in mind, I might as well check in on Misato and Shinji since they'd most likely be overlooking the city like they did in episode 2 by this point.

"Not too bad a place to try and convince a warrior what they're fighting for, isn't it?"

The two of them turn to see me before I get greeted with Misato responding to me "It was a stretch, but I figured I'd at least try to get Shinji to have some bond with the city, considering that he's gonna be living here for a while."

Shinji's response may have been a bit sharp and to the point, but it did sound sincere: "I'll admit that it's having a little bit of an effect on me, but I'm still only in this for the money we agreed on. So, what brings you here?"

I answer "I actually came here to deliver your first paycheck as a personal thank you for even doing this in the first place." before handing him his first 5.1 million big ones.

Shinji responds "How touching." before taking the check from me.

The three of us just stared at the sundown covered city as I start formulating the next stage of my plan for this world. There was gonna be a 30 day gap between this fight and the canon events of episode 3, hopefully more than enough time for me to properly put the pieces in place and start Shinji's training. Toji and Sakura's involvement would have to wait for now, but as far as I saw it, thing were going fairly smoothly at the moment.

(Ending Theme: "Aozora ni Naru" by Jin Hashimoto- Kamen Rider Kuuga OST)

(Current Power Levels

Desmond Bishops (me): 178,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken: 1,602,000 at x9)

Mura Tenin: 3,141,000

Shinji Ikari: 6/406* (post Sachiel fight) (*= Power level and Ki use unavailable due to lack of training and only being a level 3 Warper)

Misato Katsuragi: 5

Jessaline Musashi: 6

Gendo Ikari: 6

Rei Ayanami (Rei II): 519* (Rei clones are born with a base power level of 100 due to their mixture of human and Angel DNA and grow in power the longer they are inside their giant LCL tank. Rei III and possible other future clones will be more powerful upon release due to this factor. Ki use also unavailable due to the same reasons as Shinji.)

Ritusko Akagi: 4

Maya Ibuki: 4

Shigiru Aoba: 4

Mokoto Hyuga: 3

Fuyutsuki: 4

Sachiel: 1,250,000 (human sized Kaijin)/3,000,000 (actual Angel itself

EVA Unit 01: 1,000,000 (Synch Rate: 28.3%)/4,500,000 (Berserker Mode)

Rick Sanchez (Earth Dimension C-137-AU2): around 75,000,000

Morty Sanchez (Earth Dimension C-137-AU2): 67,000

Katsumi Blackthorn II: 10,000,000 (base)

Genevieve Blackthorn Jr.: 35,000,000 (base)

Others to Come: ?

(Author's Note: I owe you guys a major apology for how long it took for this to get out, I've been having some internet problems since like, January, there was a lot of stuff going on in real life, and I just couldn't get this out until now. I hope to rectify the situation in the future as I work on re writing what was accidentally deleted of the rough drafts I had that went up to the altered canon of episode 5. Also in order to keep people in the loop of events, just like how episode 4 took place before the Ryker VS Elvin fight in "Steven Universe Blackthorned", this episode takes place during the fight and somewhat during the 1st episode of that story's fourth season. So if you've read the second chapter of Yoshi3000's "A Blackthorn's Rasphody" and are wondering why the planet Shin Vega's still around, that's why. Next episode's gonna be a little different since there would still be a week before the events of episode 3 would take place, so I kinda wanna fill out that time (or at least some of it anyway). So until next time, DSX62415, out.)