Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time Chapter 8: Episode 4's Canon (doesn't) Happen, an evangelion fanfic

Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time

Episode 8: Episode 4's Canon (doesn't) Happen/Crap's Starting to (really) Get Real

(Warning: All intellectual properties belong to their respective copyright holders/original creators. EVA to Gainax, Reality Warpers to Yoshi3000, Family Guy to Seth McFarlane, you get the idea.)

(Opening Theme: "Reverse/Rebirth" by Iwagana Hiroaki and Kimijima Asaya)

Three days, that's how long me, Shinji, Toji, Kensuke and Sakura have been touring the Multiverse, solving problems and taking care of business. Where were we now, you may ask? Fighting off a horde of robotic drones based off Seth McFarlane's fat rat bastard himself, Peter Griffin. I was hacking them down using Occam's Razor, Shinji was manhandling 'em with a Katana, Toji was plowing right through the disgusting things using a single bladed battle ax while Kensuke rammed them with a copy of Xaldin from Kingdom Heart's lance and Sakura was holding her own with a pink bladed Lightsaber. The combined force of the 5 of us were making quick work of the drones as I can remember exactly what lead us to this certain situation.

(General View Flashback)

Shinji, Misato and Desmond were sitting in one of the locker rooms after the battle against the 4th Angel where Misato was giving Shinji a verbal lashing.

"Do you have any idea how reckless your actions were out there? If Unit-01's power supply hadn't held out for as long as it did, not only would you three knuckleheads be dead by now, but the whole planet would've been done for. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Shinji simply replies "The Angel was slain, there weren't any civilian casualties, and as far as I see it, your organization is gonna get seen in a brighter light for saving those two guys compared to just following your plan which need I remind you, was pretty much doomed to fail no matter what due to your distinct lack of including oh, I don't know, logic?"

"Are you accusing me of something, you little..."

Desmond knew when it was time to step in, and stopped the fight from reaching a breaking point by chiming in "Alright, that's enough! Misato, I can agree with you that Shinji's disobedience isn't something that can be tolerated within a para-military organization."

"Thank you."

He continues by adding "However, Shinji has a point. His actions may have been reckless, but he not only managed to save those two civilians, but also defeated the Angel without any casualties to the innocent. And as for your retreat strategy, I can honestly say that it was severely flawed at the very least, if not completely more reckless than what the boy did. Letting that freak of nature into the city would've caused not only more pointless deaths among the population, but would risk the the chance of it getting in contact with Lilith and causing what can only be described as the end of the freaking world."

Shinji snarks in with "See? Even he agrees that your plan was absolute trash."

"You stay out of this, you annoying..."

Before things could get any worse, Desmond interrupted "Hold on. Obviously you two need some time apart unless you want things to escalate to points where none of us can get anything done around here, so why don't I take the boy on an apprenticeship retreat for a little while so the two of you can properly cool off?"

Misato's answer: "Fine by me. You wanna take the little headache, then take him for as long as you want. Let's see how long you last with him."

To which Shinji replies "Perfect, that way, I don't have to deal with your drunken nonsense or you pops out of nowhere penguin every damn day."

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

Desmond turns to Shinji as Misato storms out of the rooms before saying "You know, you really shouldn't egg her on. Her plan might not have been the best, but at least she was trying to do right."

To which Shinji responds "Why are you defending her? She's a drunken idiot who has no right being in command of anything, let alone taking care of another human being."

"Have you ever considered that maybe she's actually trying to be nice to you in order to give you a chance at a normal life instead of just leaving you in the lurch like your jackass of an old man?"

This left Shinji to think about it for a moment before Bishops added "Come on, maybe some time away from one another might just do you two some good. We just have to pick up a few more people, and we can head out."

To which Shinji asks "And just who do you mean by "a few more people?"

Which Bishops responds to by answering "You'll see."

(Back in the present, but still in general perspective with no specific P.O.V. given)

As the battle rages on, we can see Shinji and Toji back to back cutting down hoards of disgraces to the state of Rhode Island by the dozen as we hear Toji pipe up "Hey uh, listen, in case we don't make it out of here alive, I guess I should at least say that I'm sorry for you know, clocking you a few days back."

Shinji responds after cutting down another fat bastard by going "Yeah, well I might have deserved it for kinda being an ass with how I reacted to hearing about what happened to your family. What made you wanna apologize at a time like this?"

"Well after the whole deal with the tentacle monster, Kensuke and I went to go visit my sister at the hospital, and then after I told her about what happened between you and I, she kinda let me have it saying that how I reacted wasn't much better, so she kinda "convinced" me to apologize to you for what happened. So, we cool or what?"

"Yeah, I guess we are."

Sakura witnesses the whole scene as she stabs her Lightsaber into the head of a Griffin before replying "See, now that wasn't that hard, wasn't it?"

Causing Bishops to respond "If you guys have time to make amends with one another, then you got time to carve up these assholes, so get to it."

(Track Change: "Edge of Soul"- Soul Edge/Soul Blade OST)

The onslaught continues as our 5 warriors do battle against the horde, taking them out in droves until who arrives but the original version of the fat bastard the clones were based off of, descending down from the sky with his trademark stupid laugh.

"We are legion. We shall overtake all realities, bringing destruction wherever we go, and diddling in whoever we please for the sake of self gratification (points to Sakura), Starting with her."

Of course her brother upon hearing that last statement was having none of it, as the 5 charge up their power and charge towards the original with weapons drawn. The battle and the song finally come to a halt when Bishops manages to deal a cross slash to the main Peter using both Occam's Razor and his Ultimate Rising Titan Sword, putting an end to a potential threat to the multiverse.

(P.O.V. Shift: Desmond)

Well, after defeating a possible multiverse spanning threat, I'd say that we earned a day off from training back at the penthouse. The whole team pretty much plops down on my couch as we enjoy some well earned peace and quiet...until Lyna shows up and says "Wow, you guys are home early. Weren't you five supposed to be gone for the whole week?"

Which I respond "We're just taking a quick breather, Lyna. We'll be back out there tomorrow once I've restocked our supplies."

Which she adds on to by asking "So does that mean you're going to planet Creation to get more Senzu beans from Merch or some other Reality Warper store?"

Yep, she let the cat out of the bag as I'm bombarded with questions such as "What's a Reality Warper?", "There's a planet Creation? Where's that?" and "What is she talking about?". Well, time to come clean, but this time it's gonna happen the way I wanted it to happen.

"Alright, listen up: in order to answer your questions, I'm gonna have to show you guys some things. And once you see them, your worlds will never be the same."

26 anime episodes and 5 movies later, the four of them were in shock of what they just say with mouths agape as I go *"Yeah, as you can see, one of my main reasons for coming here was to prevent the events of what you just saw from happening. And now that I was forced to expose to you that your world is the creation of a being from Earth Prime, that makes you members in the same group as I am too."*

Toji was the first one to pipe up by going "Wait, so you mean to tell us that...we're not even real?!"

Kensuke took it even worse shouting "Everything I know is a lie! Up is down! Forward is sideways! Coca-Cola and Pepsi are the same thing! 2 PLUS 2 EQUALS FISH!"

Amazingly out of all of them, Sakura was taking it in stride as she was just asking questions like "Does this mean that since we're fictional, we can go into other shows like Adventure Time?", "Can I buy my own Sonic Riders style hoverboard?" and "Do we get special episodes dedicated to just themselves now that they know they aren't real?". stuff like that. But Shinji on the other hand was pretty much caught in a state of shock and rage that everything wrong that's been done to him across multiple realities were at the hands of some jerk on Earth Prime, just because he was depressed at the time of the series' creation. Needless to say, he was beyond pissed. More like enraged beyond any sense of anger management could undo.

"Yes, this certainly is quite the shocking revelation." he says in between teeth clenched in a furious and deranged looking smile. "Pardon me, there's something I have to deal with. I'll be right back."

The boy then grabs the portal gun from the coffee table and fires it off, heading towards most likely the mountain campsite where he and Kensuke conversed at during canon episode 4 and unleashes a series of vicious words that should never be repeated anywhere, lest I risk getting any account I'd post this story on shut down. What I can tell you was that words that were about as bad as taking the "C" word for girls, the "N" word for people with African origins, the "F" word for gay people, and mixing them together with all the remaining bad words for the Jewish were involved. When he came back, we could just look at him with a strange mixture of shock, anger, pity, and strangely indigestion as Shinji asks "What? Am I not allowed to vent my frustrations on the situation?"

Leaving Kensuke to just go "Dude, did you kiss your mom with that mouth?"

Which he simply replies "Yes, and don't rub it in."

As we were recovering from that sudden bit of well...language, out comes our dear associate Tulio with forms in hand and a look of partial exhaustion.

"Oh boy. Lemme guess, one of the maids said something and forced your hand to squeal about the Warper's secret, pops?"

I can only reply "Pretty much" before adding "I'm guessing the Order hasn't been letting up on having you on duty?" as he responds "Nope. Now that one of our registry agents got promoted to the elite council, there's been a bit of a shortage of registration operatives to do the dirty work, so I've been pulling double duty."

Of course this got me a bit curious, so I ask "Which one of you guys made elite?" as he answers "Goes by the name of Gilda Von Gira, she's pretty much a human version of a female Gyarados from Pokemon, so don't piss her off. Kinda feel bad for her too, wound up getting promoted right at the start of the rise of a new major threat."

Oh great, another threat to the multiverse. I ask "Who is it this time? evil Pinkie Pie? a Warper Madara Uchiha? Zarkon from Legendary Defender?"

His answer: "Worse. Turns out that Dill managed to cheat death by transferring her Flames of Creation into a new body, even picking up a new sidekick in the form of a Warper version of that one evil Morty to help do her dirty work."

She's still alive?! What the hell?! I thought I was rid of her when Genevieve Jr. capped her ass back on Shin Vega!

"Please tell me that the Order is looking into this."

The answer I get: "We kinda are, but with the actions of Pinkamena, our resources are being stretched to our near limits. So in the meantime, the only thing guys like me can really do is help new Warpers get registered and hope they can become powerful enough to actually fend off these guys."

Eventually, I was expecting one of the kids to start asking questions regarding the Order, and Sakura was willing to step up to the plate by going "Uh, how exactly does this Order thing do stuff with Warper registration? Is there some sort of ranking system which tells us who's the most powerful or something?"

Which Rodriguez responds "It's actually goes more like this: you see, you guys were only level 3 status until your little binge watch-a-thon revealed the secret to you and made you level 4. Being level 4 status simply means that you're aware of the 4th wall and can break it at any time. And since you guys already started with training with stuff like Ki control, you shouldn't be that far behind to reaching level 5 status, allowing you to alter the universe you're in at will until you reach the most common rank for fictional characters: level 6, meaning that you'll be able to freely travel the Multiverse without too much trouble with making portals."

Prompting Kensuke to ask "So if we're level 4, what levels are you guys?"

Tulio's answer: "Well since I was the creation of a level 7 Warper from Earth Prime, the people responsible for creating the timelines we can travel to and from through fan works, it would make me level 8 since I serve as an extension of that Warper's thought. With enough training, I could reach the second most powerful rank in all of Warping, level 9. Pops here on the other hand happens to be one of the rarest ranked Warpers of 'em all: level 10. Their control over the very life force of all things: the Flames of Creation is completely unmatched to the point where I can easily say that they are not to be messed with. Got it?"

Hearing about the power of a level 10 wound up getting Toji to finally ask a question of his own as he goes "So if level 10 ones are so rare and powerful, just how many of them are there?"

The answer he got even surprised me as Rodriguez responded "Well, between the Blackthorn family which as far as I know currently has about 13 members, CherieRoseLoveless and her daughter, a Speed Force user who's been based in a Death Note timeline, and a newer addition to the group who's been operation out of planet Zen Kuro's version of Lakewood Plaza Turbo, I'd say 18 including Pops here, but I have heard rumors that some more level 10 ones are hanging around some of the uncharted territories."

Wow, that few of us. Kinda makes a guy think...at least until he mentioned a little thing that was unfortunately a staple of any government: taxes.

"You know, Pops, if these guys are under your watch, you could probably get a little extra credits when it comes time for your tax refund. Your little friends over there should probably consider doing what's pretty much our version of Turbo Tax in case they need help with their returns come next year too."

Leading Toji to go "Wait, we have to pay taxes?" as Rodriguez answers "Sorry, them's the breaks with Warper law when you use the same age system as Pokemon: once you hit 10, you may be able to drink, smoke, drive, and plow as much as you want, but you still have to face the consequences of your actions, which may be minimal just as long as you don't travel to Earth Prime or commit any form of sexual misconduct, but still."

After an exchange of paperwork for gift baskets, Rodriguez says "Alright, everything's up to snuff. If you could at for at least a few more canon episodes maybe not bring anyone else in on the secret, it'd really help me out because I've already got a crap ton on my plate as is."

Which I reply to by saying "We'll do our best not to, but I can't guarantee that anything's gonna come up to force our hand."

"At this point, I'll take what I can get. Anyways, hopefully the next time we see each other, it won't have to do with registration matters. Later, Pops."

After he steps back into the portal, I'm left to face the others with some choice words.

"I know that what you've just experienced may have been something that shouldn't be wished upon your own worst enemies, but I had a reason to do it. Remember when I said that I was here to prevent any version of what you saw from happening, which leads to the reason why I showed you what I did. Each of you has been dealt a bad hand at the hands of NERV and SELEE in one way, shape or form or the other. Toji, it's because of Gendo's jackassery that Shinji was forced to either leave you stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of your life, turned into a pile of orange goop, and you don't wanna know what happened to you in the original manga."

Of course hearing that leads Toji to ask "Wait, our show has a manga adaptation? What happens to me in that?"

"Like I said, you don't wanna know. Sakura, because NERV sent an untrained pilot into battle without any weapons that could properly damage the Angel from a safe distance, they were able to use you as a bargaining tool in the TV series, and even when you were able to recover in the Rebuild continuity, Misato's faction merely used you for cheap child labor. Kensuke, Angel #16 left you pretty much homeless when Unit-00 self destructed in the TV series, and like everyone else, you wound up being turned into goop because of Gendo and SELEE's evil machinations. And Shinji, what's there to say that hasn't already been said or seen?"

All that the boy can say is "Damn straight."

"Yes. Well then, my point is that each of you has been wronged in the majority of timelines due to forces thinking of only bringing about the destruction of the Earth, regardless of what they tell you about your mission. Which is why I have a proposal for each of you: how would you all like to actually win this time around?"

Toji voiced his opinion first by going "If NERV's really responsible for all that stuff, then they need to go down. Hardcore. So count me in, coach."

Next came Sakura who responded "If my big brother is gonna be fighting these guys, then I wanna be there to back him up. Count me in too."

Then Kensuke chimed in by stating "Count me in too. I can't believe I was amazed by these guys, what they've done in those timelines is worse than what Hitler, Sadam, Pol Pot, and Bin Ladin have ever done combined."

Finally came our dear boy Shinji, who's answer was a bit more how should I put this...vicious.

"After thinking this over, I have decided to help you take down these Angel freaks and prevent the apocalypse, under the condition that I get to tear each and every last one of those assholes limb from limb, one by one."

I had to reel him back in for a moment as I tell him "Hold on there, kid. we can't just wipe 'em all out in one shot. Despite having the ability to alter the universe around us, we still have to keep some aspects of canon into play. Which is why I've come up with a plan: since I already dealt with SELEE back when I first got here by accident, we won't really have to deal with them for the time being. In technicality, we'll still have to deal with the Angels as they come while also dealing with their heralds. I've dealt with the last two without too much trouble, but there's most likely gonna come a time when I'm going to need help, which is why you guys are being trained like you are."

"Hold up, you're the vigilante guy that's been all over the news?!" asked Toji in shock of the revelation.

"Yes, and if the need comes for it, then you guys will be joining me in the battle while Shinji deals with the larger counterparts using the EVA. Once I can get someone to upgrade the gun I've been using to help take down the bigger Angels, we can release the souls inside of the EVAs so they can face proper judgement for their actions in Other World."

Leading Shinji to ask "And THEN can we tear those guys limb from limb?"

"I'm getting to that. Now then, I'll probably be dealing with Lilith early just so we can keep things permanently swayed in our favor, maybe do something with all the Rei clones that are in the sub levels of the base."

Shinji starts going "And THEN..." before I interrupt by stating "AND THEN you can tear them limb from limb! That good enough for you?"

All he says is "That is acceptable."

"Right. Now then, we've all put in a lot of effort out there today. Let's take the rest of the day to rest up and relax because we're getting right back at it first thing in the morning."

After hearing that, Toji, Sakura and Kensuke pretty much meld themselves into the couch while Shinji takes off somewhere. I know that learning the Warper's secret can have some pretty randomized reactions, but why do I have the feeling that his way of dealing with it is gonna be troublesome. In all the randomness that happened over spilling the beans, I failed to realize that we were short 4 energy signatures.

"Lyna, you wouldn't happen to know where Jessie, Wynn, Eria and Ami are, would you?"

She answers "Eria and Ami are doing some errands on Planet Creation before picking up Wynn who's attending her Warper's anxiety support group, and I haven't called Jessie yet today, but she's probably dealing with NERV stuff."

Well that makes me feel somewhat better, but I could tell something either embarrassing for me or for someone else was about to go down. And if I was wrong, then let a Warper version of Derpy Hooves come rushing through the sliding doors leading to the penthouse pool and knock me right off my feet. Probably should've rephrased that since next thing I knew, I was down flat on my back as the tiny talking horse in question goes "Hello." right on top of me.

(General P.O.V. Shift: no certain character in question)

Well Bishops had every reason to be concerned as the scene shifts of a random bar on Planet Creation where we can see Shinji at the counter with a glass of Jack Daniels in hand. Alone with his thoughts until his solitude is interrupted by a mysterious girl in a violet sweatshirt with the picture of a large vulture on it along with dark red skinny jeans and black high top shoes. She asks "This seat taken?" as the third child replies "It's a free Multiverse."

She sits down next to the Ikari boy before he notices the bandages around her eyes and asks "Mind if I ask what's up with your eyes?" as the girl responds "Let's just say that I had a little eye work done and leave it at that."

A quick moment of silence was broken when the bartender hands over a plate saying to the mystery girl "Here's the fish and chips you ordered."

To which she responds to by saying "I believe that this was supposed to come with tartar sauce." as he tosses the packet before getting surprised when she actually caught it and said "Thank you."

Shinji had to ask after seeing what he just saw "Wait, if your eyes are all bandaged up, how the hell did you catch that?"

Which she replies by saying "What can I say, I've got good reflexes." before the bartender comes back with a blue drink saying "And here's your Aquatar Sunrise."

The third child looks at the drink with interest before asking "That any good?"

The mystery girl turns to the third and answers "You really think you can handle something like this?"

Leading the young Ikari to respond "You don't think I can handle it? Well, little miss...uh, what's your name?"

"Just call me Lark."

"Right." He continues before adding "Well, little miss Lark, how about you let me put my money where my mouth is?"

"Alright, suit yourself. Barkeep, let's get another one of these over here."

The barkeep hands our man of the moment the same drink before saying "Take my advice here, kid: you might wanna go easy on these."

Within an instant, both drinks were downed with furious velocity. Shinji then goes "Oh yeah, that hit the spot. You know, I'm actually starting to feel better about the whole "being the universe's canon punching bag" thing already. However, I'm not quite fully over it yet, so how 'bout we go again?"

Leading Lark to respond "I like the way you think. Waiter, let's get another round over here."

"Here you go, but seriously, you really oughta consider going light with these."

Unfortunately for our bartender, his cries fall on deaf ears as Shinji and the hooded girl down their second glasses in a matter of seconds before Shinji says already showing signs of being drunk "Oh Mr. Waiter, two more please."

With each drink, you could easily see them getting more and more plastered with Shinji going "Waiter." after number 3, "Oh, waiter." after his fourth, singing "Waiter!" after drink number 5, slurring "Wai-toor!" after number 6 and slamming his hands on the counter and angrily shouting "WAITER!" after his seventh.

The bartender could only go "They never listen to me." before witnessing what happened next: both of them getting on a stage with 'ol Shinji holding a cane like a microphone and drunkenly going "Alright, folks, this next one goes out to my two new bestest friends in the whole world: Larky, and this robot piano playing guy! It's a little ditty called..."

Both of them just sing "WAITORRRRRR!" before falling on their backs on stage, black out drunk. While our two little drunkards deal with the stresses of Warper life through booze and shenanigoats, others choose to deal with their problems through a more constructive form of means.

(P.O.V. Shift: Wynn Miyabi)

W-wait, you're doing a point of view shift on me? I am not ready for this! Wh-what do you mean it's in my contract? Wouldn't you rather get a perspective from someone like Ms. Musashi or Mr. Bishops? Alright, but I just wanna go on record saying that I'm not comfortable with this. Alright, well, as you can see, after Eria, Lyna, Ms. Musashi and I learned that we weren't exactly real, I didn't really take it very well. And I wound up finding a special support group with Warpers who have trouble with anxiety and a wide array of mental conditions, which is where we are now. It's technically my turn to talk about stuff in front of the others, and I guess I should really speak my mind.

"It's been really really hard for me to adjust to this. I know I've had over a month to deal with this, but I'm starting to feel like it's impossible to do. Not that you guys haven't helped me, i-if anything, you've made this a whole lot more easier for me, but I'm still having a lot of trouble with all of this Warper stuff."

That's when the doctor responsible for leading the group tells me "Well dat's why we're all here, doll. You goyles have da ability to suppot each otha in more ways than ya know. You sharin' ya story helps out a lot more than ya know, this way, we'll be able to really work on da problem areas you're havin, and hopefully, you'll be able to get around ta handlin' things a whole lot easier because of it. Thank you fa sharin', Ms. Miyabi. Now den, anyone else got anything they wanna share? Progress, special events, anything like dat?"

I can see the version of Talim from Soul Calibur stand up and respond "Well I think you'll be happy to know that I've used the things I've learned here in order to socialize more among other fighting game character Warpers, and I've even gotten a date with a version of Asuka Kazama from our sibling series Tekken."

That leads our doctor to reply "Nice, she's a pretty good lookin' lady for a goyle your age. Anyone else wanna share something?"

Then a version of Velvet from RWBY stood up and said "I managed to get a job as a secretary for Uzumaki Corp in my new home dimension."

"Atta goyle, climb dat corporate ladda. Who else wants ta share something?"

As Velvet sat down, the Murasaki and Murakumo from Senran Kagura in our group stood up as Murasaki said "I've actually gone...outside more often this last week, and Murakumo's been wearing her mask a lot less in public." as Murakumo adds "And I've actually worked up the guts to submit a one shot to one of my favorite manga magazines if that means anything."

"Well dat's something to be proud of. So how about our little Equestria goyle? Got anything to say, Fluttahon?"

I then see our version of Equestria Girls Fluttershy stand up and say "Oh, well, my friends and I are having a special party for our Rarity's birthday, and they said if any of you guys wanted to join us, that'd be okay."

"Well alright, dat might be somethin' fa me and Red to do. Aw crap, we're outta time. Alright, goyles, let's wrap things up here and pick things up next week."

Each of us stands back up and gathers our things to get ready to leave. While I was grabbing my handbag to wait for Eria to pick me up, I get stopped by the Talim, Murakumo and Muraskaki in our group as Talim ask "Um, Ms. Miyabi, we were wondering if you had any plans for later today."

I turn around and reply "I have to meet Eria soon since she's my way home, why do you ask?"

I get my answer from Murakumo who says "The three of us were planning on going to a version of New Domino City, but the three of us are too uneasy with going with just each other. We were gonna ask Velvet, but she said she was gonna hang out with that version of Pird from OK, KO that Kaze Gray is living in. And Fluttershy is busy with helping to plan her Rarity's birthday."

I could easily understand where they were coming from, I don't think that I could even last 5 seconds there by myself with all of the virtual monster holograms, even with the more...crush worthy girl monsters.

"Maybe I could convince someone to go with me and meet with you guys if you could maybe plan on going at a later time. I mean if that's okay with you guys."

They tell me that they can do that as the four of us walk out together as I see Eria and Ami waiting for me by the main door. Eria gives me a kiss on the cheek before asking "So, how was today's session?" as I reply that it went okay before asking her what was in her shopping bags.

Then she answers "Well we're probably gonna need more healing items for the boss and those kids he's training once he gets back, so I figured that I might as well stock up while we were out. I also grabbed us some stuff like adjustable weights that should help with the physical parts of Warper training, a couple books on elemental magic, some capsule vehicles in case we need to go incognito with our abilities. Oh, and there was this one shop on the way over here that was having a sale, and I totally scored the four of us some fetch outfits for a great price."

I ask to see what she got, but she tells me "Uh uh, little ms. nosey. You and Lyna can see what I got us when we get home."

That's when she notices the other girls with me and asks them what was going on with them before hearing about their planned trip to New Domino City.

"Hmm, hot duelists in racing catsuits, sexy female trading card game monsters, gearheads with a penchant for playing card games on motorcycles at speeds that could kill them if they aren't careful, yeah, you guys are gonna need some company. If you guys can hold off on going until this weekend, then Wynn and I could go with you guys if you want. We could even ask Lyna if she wants to go too."

They were all for the idea as we part ways back to our little home in Tokyo 3. In all honesty, I was a bit surprised to see the others home this early, considering that Mr. Bishops said that he'd be gone for the whole week.

Eria goes "Sir, you're home early. What happened, did some important NERV stuff come up so you could keep your cover?"

I could sense that he could easily lie and say something like that happened, but it looked like his better instincts get the upper hand as he wind up responding "I wish. We ran low on healing items during a few skirmishes while we were training, so we're gonna take the rest of today to relax, then we're gonna have to head to Planet Creation to restock and it's right back to the grind. We only have 3 more days until the next canon episode's events are supposed to take place, but with everything I've done so far that's altered it, I don't even know IF that episode is even gonna happen. Hell, I don't even know if the events of THIS episode are gonna happen in any way, shape, or form."

Lucky for him, Eria holds up a shopping bag and says "Well I thought you guys might need to do something like that before you came home, so Ami and I stocked up while we were waiting for Wynn to get done with her therapy session."

"You are a lifesaver, Ms. Aoi. You too, Ami."

Ami simply responds "I am at your service, master."

It was a nice moment of peace...until the boss got the call from a random bar saying that Shinji was black out drunk and he needed to come and get him.

(P.O.V. Shift: Desmond)

I hate being right. One trip to Planet Creation later, and I find the place where I can see the kid passed out and brick faced next to a girl in the same condition as him. I start tapping his body with my foot and start going "Alright, time to wake up, kid. Scoop up your friend and let's let the guys who're just doing their job do what they have to do while we go home."

After a few more pokes, he finally starts getting up with the clear signs of a hangover all around him as he starts going "Ow, my head. What happened last night?"

I'm not surprised her remembers nothing about what happened last night, so I answer his question by stating "You and mystery girl here got drunk and made complete fools out of yourselves in the process before blacking out. There are better ways to deal with your problems outside of violence and alcohol, I hope you realize this."

After hearing all that, the boy can only tell me "Really, you're choosing now to give me a-ah, dammit. There's no way I can even finish that sentence, I am hung over."

You know, he's lucky that I thought ahead of coming here, as I pull out something that I picked up at a nearby pharmacy before heading to the bar in question and hand him it: a bottle of pills specially designed to counteract the effects of a hangover in a matter of seconds.

"Take one of these and give another to your friend, they'll clear out the effects of the hangover and make it so that you two can walk out of here with at least some of your dignity left."

Shinji takes his and quickly shows signs of recovery before walking over to the other girl as I can hear him say "Hey, Larky, I got something for you to get you back on your feet."

She winds up waking up groggily and takes the pill before she asks "Yeesh, how many of those things did we put away?" as Shinji answers "I...kinda lost count after 11."

I already thought that was an extreme amount of booze, but the bartender just makes things worse by saying "Oh, please. I had to make you little drunks 21 Aquatar Surprises each before you finally went down for the count."

Hearing that only lead me to say "Well I hope that your little night on the town was worth the double amount of training you'll be doing to make up for your lack of control. And as for your lady friend, I'm sure that her group is looking to figure out where she is."

I wind up a little bit surprised when I hear the girl say "I don't really do groups, I've been doing solo work for a while now. However, I'd be willing to do some freelance assistance to a team...for a price of course."

I reply "I'll consider your services if I need help with something later on." as she walks into her own portal, but not before accidentally dropping some sort of large red gem stone out of her sweatshirt pocket. I pick it up and I can feel the absolute heat that came from it, far more than anything that was in a sweatshirt pocket should give off.

Shinji asks "Aren't you gonna play the hero and give it back to her?" as I respond "Since I have no idea where she's going, we'll just have to wait for her to notice it and see the events of this episode. She'll know where we are, and I'll be more than happy to give this back." before opening a portal for us.

We get back to the penthouse where the kid and I see Toji, Kensuke and Sakura engaged in a round of one of the games that came with my WarpSpark: pretty much taking the better aspects of Mario Kart and Sonic and Sega All Stars Racing Transformed and throwing in a cast of characters from all around Disney's list of gained properties. In all honesty, I actually found it pretty funny that Sakura, who was racing as Tinkerbell was dominating her older brother who was playing as Captain Rex from Star Wars: the Clone Wars and Kensuke who decided to play as Iron Man. By the time they reach the final lap, Kensuke tried to get the upper hand by utilizing a power up in the form of Spider Man's web grenades, only to be met with Sakura using something that would cement her victory: a power up based on Thanos' Infinity Gauntlet. The two of them are completely dumbstruck at what happened as Sakura starts cheering.

"Which game is that one anyway? I haven't really had the time to look into the titles I got with that system." I ask as Kensuke replies "Sorry, sir. We kinda got a little bored, and we say the game system, so we tried out this one game called "Magic Kingdom Mega Road Rally" and-"

I stop him by saying "It's perfectly fine. Since you guys are Warpers now, I don't need to hide the thing from you anymore. And if you guys can score a little extra money for yourselves, I know where you can get WarpSparks of your own."

That caught their attention as Toji asks "We can earn money just by hanging around with you?"

To which I reply "You can earn it by doing things such as collecting bounties and doing actual normal jobs among Warpers, but technically yes, since you're apart of a team led by me, you do get a cut of any financial rewards I would gain from doing stuff like collecting bounties on evil Warpers and the like."

Hearing that got Sakura to chime in and ask "If we're taking down evil Warpers, does that mean that we have bounties on us too?"

I knew I had one on me, but I wasn't sure if I was even putting their lives at even further risk. I then pull out my phone and searched the Order's bounty database, only to have my face pale a bit as I see

"Super Spiral" Desmond Bishops

Wanted on 4 counts of 1st degree Ange-cide

213 counts of 1st degree homocide of other Warpers and Warper related beings

Association with the Blackthorn family and other level 10 Warpers

Obtaining access to Super Saiyan-esque transformation