Not Ready

"Morning." Daryl said, making his way into Punk's coffee shop the morning after the party.

"Morning." Punk said bluntly, without looking at him, continuing to tuck chairs under their tables.

"I think I had one too many last night." Daryl shook his head, running his hands over his tired face. The last thing he could think about was serving coffee to people all day.

"You probably did." Punk said, still not paying Daryl any attention as he continued to get the shop ready for opening.

"Good news is, I think open-mic night is going to be great." Daryl nodded, "It's going to be packed in here."

"Hopefully." Punk said bluntly, "I need you in the kitchen doing the pastries." Punk said as Daryl looked over at him.

"Everything alright?" Daryl wondered. He knew his boss wasn't a friendly guy, nor was he a morning person, but recently he was beginning to feel a real friendship between them. As strange as the age gap was. However, now, he couldn't help sense how tense it was in the room for some reason.

"Everything is fine. I just need you to go do your job." Punk said, "Can you do that?" He finally turned to Daryl.

"Jesus, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Daryl grumbled, beginning to walk through to the kitchen.

"Hey!" Punk called on him angrily, "Don't forget that you work for me, kid. Maybe I'm the clown for trusting you with personal information about myself, but I think you and I need to establish that this relationship we have… it's a business one."

"What are you talking about?" Daryl shook his head.

"You told April that I was disbarred. Last night." Punk said, "And that's on me for trusting you with that information... but you had no right."

"I didn't tell… I didn't tell April…" Daryl said, thinking back to last night. He didn't even speak with AJ. He was sure of it. Then suddenly he remembered slipping up in front of Shiv.

"There's no other way she could have found out, other than from you." Punk shook his head.

"I… I think I slipped up and told Shiv. She must have told AJ." Daryl realised, "I was… I was trying to explain your situation to her. To try and get her to understand how difficult it was for you right now-"

"I don't need any sympathy." Punk shook his head, "I needed you to keep your mouth closed. The whole town probably knows now." He rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Daryl said, "I was just trying to paint you in a different light to her. I didn't mean for it to come out-"

"Just go do the pastries." Punk shook his head angrily.

Daryl thought about saying more, but he figured it was wise he kept his head down and went to work. He could tell Punk was in no mood to argue, so he headed through to the kitchen to start on the pastries for the shop opening, his hangover and guilt weighing him down every step of the way.

"How do you even get disbarred?" Becca asked, standing behind the counter with AJ and Shiv as they discussed the happenings of the party last night, all whilst serving coffee and cakes to some hungover customers.

"By doing something illegal." AJ said, "Usually it's to do with money. Committing fraud." AJ nodded.

"Wouldn't he be in prison then?" Becca questioned.

"Not necessarily. Could have been minor enough to escape prison but still get disbarred." AJ shrugged. She wasn't going to admit she was up all-night googling ways a lawyer could get disbarred.

"Damn, I did not see that one coming." Becca admitted, "What did he say when you brought it up?"

"Nothing. He walked away and got into his car." AJ said, "I definitely crossed a line. Probably shouldn't have made it personal like that but… I was furious about him going into business with Mister Eckles. Everything just built up. Felt like perfect timing to throw it in his face."

"He's probably over there beating up Daryl for telling me." Shiv said, looking over at Punk's coffee shop through the window. Part of her did feel bad for telling AJ what she'd found out, but the loyal side of her just couldn't keep it in.

"Lyla is gonna have a lot to catch up on when she's back." Becca said.

"So do we think that was his ex-girlfriend who was here a few days ago?" Shiv asked, "Daryl did say he lost his girlfriend so it would make sense."

"Probably." AJ nodded, "I knew there was something about him." She shook her head.

"I noticed you were getting close with Luke from the car garage." Shiv said, "Something going on there?" She smiled as AJ rolled her eyes.

"You guys are so nosey." AJ scoffed, watching them continue to look at her, "If you must know, I have a date with him tonight."

"Stop." Becca smiled.

"Really?" Shiv asked.

"Yes, really." AJ said, "He asked and… I mean, what's the worst that happens? It doesn't work out?" She shrugged, "I figured I should at least give it a try. He's sweet and funny." She shrugged, blushing a little.

"Oh, you like him." Becca smiled.

"I barely know him." AJ corrected her, "But it was nice chatting with him last night." She spoke.

It was a big step for her, to invite the idea of dating back into her life, a concept so foreign to her she almost forgot what it actually entailed. She knew her friends would be her biggest cheerleaders, particularly Lyla when she found out about it. Only she knew just how big a step this was for her.

She knew she shouldn't be spending all her energy on Punk. Especially now she knew he was probably a criminal, running away from a past mistake and hoping to forget all about it, channelling all his anger and guilt into destroying her shop for his own gain.

She felt in her bones how wrong it was, bringing up his past last night to him, seeing the shock and then the hurt across his face. She knew it was most definitely a line crossed, but after weeks of taking petty strikes from him and his coffee shop, she couldn't stop herself from crossing that line.

"So what are you going to wear tonight then?" Shiv smiled, "Can we come help you get ready? You're going to look so amazing."

"God, I wish I never told either of you." AJ rolled her eyes.

After a completely unnecessary get-ready session with Becca and Shiv, AJ finally made it out the door for her date with Luke. She knew him from around town, coming into her shop for coffee and so on. She also knew they were of similar age, and due to running their own businesses, no doubt had lots to talk about.

They'd gone to the one and only bistro restaurant and bar in town for dinner, and whilst the date was pleasant enough, AJ knew she wasn't feeling emotionally ready as she thought she would have been.

"I had a nice time tonight." Luke smiled, holding the door open for AJ as they left the restaurant. They'd chatted about lots and the conversation definitely flowed well, but the further the night went on, the more panicked AJ began to feel. She knew she still wasn't ready. She wondered if she ever would.

"I did too." AJ smiled politely. She'd wore some baggy grey pants with a t-shirt and leather jacket. She'd straightened all of her hair with the help of Becca and Shiv and put on a spot of make-up. She felt good about herself. Now she just desperately wanted to go home.

"Maybe we could do it again sometime?" Luke asked, paused outside the restaurant, "I know we've got limited choice for date spots but… I can cook." He nodded, "Maybe I could cook for you sometime."

"Yeah, maybe." AJ nodded, "But I should be going now. I had a really nice time." She said, smiling up at him as he nodded.

She began to walk away, feeling him take a hold of her hand to turn her back around to face him. And the next thing she knew was his lips on hers. She tried so hard to settle into the rhythm of his mouth. She tried so hard to pull him close and disappear into the kiss, but she couldn't. All she could feel was the blood rushing to her head, her legs going weak with fear and not delight like a kiss should produce.

"Sorry." AJ pulled back, pushing his chest a little and stepping back, "Sorry, I don't want… I'm not looking for…" AJ swallowed the lump in her throat as Luke watched her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong." Luke shook his head.

"You didn't. It's… it's me." AJ nodded, "I'm sorry, I should go." She said, quickly turning back around and walking down the street, feeling the tears rising in her eyes. She felt like she had a brick in her throat, preventing her from swallowing as she rushed down the pavement.

She thought she was ready. She thought she could handle a simple date and perhaps work on her issues along the way, but she knew better than to doubt the fear that still lived within her. How that fear could predict her every movement and interaction with people.

She continued walking down the pavement quickly, feeling her chest heavy and warm tears running down her cheek. Once she turned the corner and reached her coffee shop, she began to dig into her purse for the keys to the shop. She needed a place to cry without the possibility of anyone seeing her.

She couldn't see in her purse from the blurry tears impairing her vision. She felt around for them, her hand frantically searching in sync with the beating of her heart.

"God damn it!" She yelled angrily, throwing her purse down on the ground, running her shaking hands through her hair, turning around and noticing Punk standing across the road at his shop, watching her. She had no idea how long he'd been watching her.

"Are you ok?" Punk asked with concern, walking across the road towards her as she picked her purse up, turning her face away from him. She couldn't stand him seeing her like this. So vulnerable and broken. He was the last person she wanted to see her like this.

"Just leave me alone." AJ shook her head, still searching in her bag, sniffing loudly as Punk stared at her with worry.

"You don't look ok." Punk noticed as she looked up at him finally, staring into his eyes.

"I'm fine." She demanded, "Just go away." She shook her head.

"You're crying." He said. He almost didn't have words to say to her. He was used to teasing and getting under her skin. Looking at her right now, even after what she'd said to him last night, the last thing he wanted to do was get under her skin.

"Well spotted." AJ shook her head, "I'm just going home." She said.

"Can I walk you?" He asked, "It's late and you're… clearly not having a good night. For my own peace of mind, let me walk you home." He nodded as she looked up at him.

"My hero." She rolled her eyes sarcastically. She hated that he could see her in such a state, but there was no other way she could hide it, "I only live two minutes away."

"So I'll walk for two minutes." Punk nodded, "Let's go." He said, leaning down and picking up her wallet which had fallen out of her purse during her rage, "Here." He handed it to her.

"Thanks." She said, shoving it in her purse and walking on down the street with him.

He didn't say much, just walked beside her, allowing her to make the conversation if she wished. Safety radiated from him, she could feel it as he glanced down at her every so often along the walk.

"This is me here." AJ said, stopping outside the door to her apartment block, "You don't have to walk me to the door."

"Do you have your keys?" He asked her.

"They're in here somewhere." AJ nodded tiredly.

"Can I?" He pointed to her purse.

"Rob me?" AJ questioned.

"Get your keys out." Punk scoffed, taking her purse and looking around for her keys, pulling them out and handing them to her.

"Thank you." AJ nodded, taking the keys and purse from him.

"Now I know where you live, I can steal all your recipes." He pointed to the apartment building as AJ rolled her eyes, laughing a little and wiping under her nose, "Are you ok? Is there someone I can call for you?" He asked.

He knew she was clearly having some kind of panic attack or breakdown. He was so used to seeing her feisty and ready to fight him. It was almost like a different woman standing in front of him. Frightened and in some sort of despair.

"No, I'll be fine." AJ shook her head, "Thanks for… walking me home. This isn't embarrassing at all." She said sarcastically.

"You're not this upset because I'm getting milk delivered from Mister Eckles, are you?" He asked her teasingly as she smiled.

"No, I've moved on from that." AJ nodded, "I would never be so immature." She said, as equally sarcastic as Punk smiled.

"I'm not sure why you're so upset, and it's not my business but… well, I hope everything is ok." He nodded sincerely.

He was furious about her attack on him last night at the party. Her words had cut deep. He swore the next time he saw her he'd have something worthwhile saying. But now, standing with her in such a state, all he wanted to do was make sure she was ok.

"I'll be fine." AJ assured him, wiping her face and opening up the building's door and heading inside.

She was sure I the morning she'd want the ground to swallow her up and wallow in her self-pity, but right now she had been grateful for his quiet presence and patience.