Chapter 53
"Daddy…"
Jack quickly opened his eyes to see his little, brown headed boy standing in front of him. He quickly sat up in bed looking through the darkness of the early morning trying to see his son's face. He quickly glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It informed Jack that it was just before three.
"Son, are you ok?" He whispered.
"I had a bad dream."
Jack reached for his son and pulled him onto his lap and wrapped his arms around him. He felt his little boy's body slightly tremble.
"It's ok, JJ. I've got you." Jack tightened his hold on his son to give him all the comfort he could. He also didn't want to wake up Elizabeth. Jack stood and carried his little boy across the hallway. He laid his son down on his bed and immediately laid down with JJ. He quickly moved into his father's embrace. Jack didn't even wait to get comfortable before pulling his son closer to him. "Would you like to talk about it? Sometimes talking about it will help you remember that it is only a dream."
JJ nodded his head but remained silent for a few minutes. The dream seemed real. When he quickly woke up from it, it took him a few moments before he realized it wasn't real. Even though he knew it, it still felt real. Jack could tell his pillow was a little wet. He wasn't sure if it was sweat or tears that made it wet. Jack remembered that his mother would rub his back when he was struggling and found it very comfortable. So, he just did what he knew to do. He began to rub his son's back.
"It felt real…"
Jack nodded his head when his son went silent. "I know. It does feel very real, but it isn't. No matter how much it feels real."
JJ nodded his head.
"When I was little, I dreamed my Pa was taken away by a bear. He would be riding his horse on patrol and a grizzly bear would jump from behind a tree and grab my Pa off his horse and take him into the woods."
"What happened next?"
"I don't know. I would always wake up when the bear was dragging him into the woods. He would always yell my and my Ma's name. I would wake up covered in sweat."
"Yeah…"
"My Pa was gone a lot due to his work. My Ma would come into my bedroom when she heard me yelling. She would remind me that he was safe."
"Did you believe her?"
"I did. It's my Ma…she wouldn't lie to me."
JJ cuddled up a little closer to Jack. He rested his head on his shoulder and tried to scoot a little closer to him. He felt comfortable in his daddy's arms.
"May I ask you something?" JJ whispered. Even though he was close to Jack's head, his voice was barely loud enough to be heard.
"You may ask me anything."
JJ laid in his father's arms quiet for a while. He wanted to ask his question, but he also didn't want to. He was trying to make up his mind up if he should ask. He knew his daddy would answer him if he asked.
"When I was little, maybe thirteen or so, I had nightmares for five days straight. I was getting to the point where I was scared to go to sleep. I just didn't want to talk about it. My Ma would ask me about the dreams when I would wake up screaming. There were times I would wake up in a cold sweat. I think Tom told her that I was having nightmares. Pa had already died. Ma asked me if I wanted to talk about it. I told her I didn't want to. I was afraid if I said it out loud, then it would become real. After the fifth night, I was just so tired that I finally told her about my dream."
"What was the dream?" JJ whispered as he settled a little closer to Jack. Without hesitating, Jack reached for the thin sheet and pulled it up around them. He kissed the little boy on top of the head.
"It was about nine months after Pa died. Ma just came back from my uncle's ranch. When Pa died, it was very hard on her. She left Tom and I with her brother, my uncle. We lived with him and worked on the farm when we weren't in school. I loved the work. It almost made me want to be a farmer."
"Really? I figured you always wanted to be a mountie."
"I did, but I did enjoy that type of work. An honest day's work makes you feel good about yourself. It's good to feel tired at the end of a day. When Ma came back after grieving, we stayed at my uncle's farm for about a month or so."
"Was there a pond to play in?"
"There was a pond. It had a lot of fish in it."
"Nice." JJ yawned. "What was your nightmare?"
"I dreamed that Ma didn't want me anymore. Somehow, I thought that Pa didn't want me and that's why he died. Then Ma left so she could grieve the love of her life and I assumed that she didn't want me. That's why she left me with my uncle."
"Is that why you had the nightmares?"
"Yeah. I dreamed that Pa left the house and jumped on the back of his horse. Then he told me that he didn't love me anymore and rode off. I didn't see him again. That he didn't want to see me again and that's why he died. So, he wouldn't have to see me again. Then Ma dropped Tom and me off at our uncle's home and left for months. I just didn't understand."
"Yeah…"
"In my dream, Ma told me the same thing Pa did when she dropped us off and rode off. I would wake up the moment Ma and her horse turned the curve in the road and went out of sight. That's when I would wake up screaming for her and Pa. I was always in a cold sweat. My bed would be wet because of it. I know now that wasn't why my Pa died. It was only a dream, but as a boy I didn't know that. When I spoke to my Ma, she was able to help me understand. For a very long time, I was scared that everyone I loved would just walk away from me."
Jack stopped speaking when he realized his boy was asleep. His breathing was slow and rhythmic.
…
Rosemary stepped onto Lee's porch. She had breakfast in hand from Abagail's. Much to her surprise, Faith and Lee were on the front porch sitting enjoying a cup of coffee.
"Good morning, Nurse Carter. You're out early today."
"I am. I'm going to visit a couple just on the other side of Lee's and thought I would check on him since I was passing by."
"That's nice."
Lee smiled at Rosemary. He sensed the jealousy in her voice. The couple had this peculiar way of dancing around the subject at hand. It was almost like a little game they played to their enjoyment.
"Well, Mr. Coulter, you are heeding my instructions. I'm grateful."
"Well, Rosey fussed at me, and I decided I needed to listen to her words."
"I'm grateful you decided to. Now, no weight on it for another week and a half. Then slowly introduce weight. I would like to see you before you do that."
"Yes ma'am."
Rosemary and Lee watched as Faith stood and found her way to her horse and buggy. Rosemary sat in the seat that Faith just left.
"So, how are you?"
"I'm good. Faith said things continue to look good."
"I'm grateful to hear that."
"Now, there is something important I would like to speak with you about."
…
Charles sat in the same pastry shop at the same table and the same chair Elizabeth sat at the previous day. For some reason, he felt more connected with her by sitting in the same chair. He knew he was way too early for his meeting with his lawyer. He also had an interview for another shipping firm just before lunch today. He was even too early to see Elizabeth coming into work, but he couldn't help himself. The lady at the front counter from yesterday gave him a sideways glare, but she couldn't really do anything about him being in the shop.
Even though he knew it was too soon for Elizabeth to come into the office, every time he noticed a car pulling into the parking lot of the Thatcher Shipping lot, he would intently watch it to make sure it wasn't Elizabeth's car. He would often sigh when it wasn't her. He had to talk to her. He had to get her to see reason. He just needed her to see the light that was in front of her. If nothing else, he just had to see her. Just a glimpse of her was all he needed.
Late last night while in bed, he realized that he would most certainly accept Elizabeth if she came back to him. His upbringing and society told him that he shouldn't, but this was his Elizabeth. They had this special connection, and he couldn't deny it even if he wanted to.
He looked up when the same black car finally pulled into the parking lot. He recognized the driver from earlier.
…
Elizabeth woke up from a restful sleep. She reached behind her when she didn't feel her husband against her. He would normally sleep beside her touching. She loved knowing the first thing in the morning was feeling her husband against her. The covers were cold. She knew he hadn't been in bed for some time now. She got up and put a robe on and walked into the hallway. She didn't know where her husband was. She thought he may have already been in the kitchen drinking coffee. As she turned to head down the hallway to the stairs, she heard muffled sounds from JJ's room. She stopped just outside of his door when she heard Jack's voice.
"Now young man. You didn't tell me what the nightmare was about last night."
"Sorry…I just got comfortable with you here."
"I understand. So…?"
Elizabeth peeked in the room and noticed Jack lying in bed with her son. Jack was on his back with his arm around JJ. He was laying with his little head on Jack's shoulder. Even though she hasn't seen Jack so sexy laying back comforting JJ, she didn't want to interrupt their conversation. She moved just enough so she wouldn't be seen, but she wanted to know about the nightmare.
"Do you really feel like everyone you love will just eventually leave you?"
"I did." Jack honestly stated. He learned a long time ago that you needed to be honest with JJ. He had this way of knowing if you weren't. "I guess I still do to some degree."
"And that's why you hate it here so much."
Jack nodded his head but Elizabeth couldn't see it.
"I don't know if I would use the word hate…but I do dislike it here. There're just too many bad memories here."
"With mommy and her nightmare?"
Again, Jack nodded his head. "I'm getting better but there are times when things still bother me. We have family here now. I know we won't live here, but Grandma Grace lives here and so does her husband. We will want to come and visit them. With mommy and me taking over the company, we will have to come here once or twice a year. Over time it will get better."
"I hope so."
Jack frowned at his little boy's statement. He knew he needed to get past all that was Hamilton, but he couldn't deny his feelings.
"Ok…out with it. You still haven't answered my question about your nightmare. You have stalled long enough." Jack stated in a dad's tone while pulling his son closer to him for comfort.
"I've heard little bits of conversations over the last couple of days. How mommy's nightmare talked with her yesterday. How you don't like it here. How the last few times you were here with mommy it didn't go well. The last time mommy came here you didn't come with her because she came back with her nightmare. You honestly thought she left you. You never talked about her when I came to live with you."
"Is that what you are having nightmares about?"
"Yeah…I dream mommy telling me that she is moving here, and I have to move back home with you. That she isn't coming home."
"Oh JJ. That's not true."
Elizabeth reached up to cover her mouth to avoid the gasp coming out. She took a step toward the door until she heard Jack speak.
"Your mommy will never leave you. She loves you way too much to do that. During our wedding, she promised you and me that she will love us forever. Mommy doesn't break her promises."
"She made that promise in Hope Valley."
"True, but your mommy's promise doesn't just mean something in Hope Valley. Mommy's promise always goes with her. She will never leave you."
"Do you think mommy will leave us?"
"Absolutely not!"
Elizabeth's tears began to flow at the confidence in Jack's voice. As saddened as she was at JJ's worry over his nightmare, she was encouraged at Jack's confidence in her. There was silence in the room for a few minutes. She was about to take a step into the room after wiping away another tear until she heard Jack begin speaking.
"Even as adults, we have issues that we need to work on. Hamilton holds bad memories for me. I need to work through them. As easy as that sounds, it isn't easy at all. That's no excuse not to work on them. I'm sorry you overheard those issues. But JJ, you need to be a kid and enjoy this time. Hamilton doesn't hold bad memories for you, and you shouldn't allow my bad memories to tint your view of Hamilton. I know you enjoy being here where your mommy grew up."
"I do, but I'm afraid of what happened last time. What if mommy decides she doesn't want us anymore like last time."
"JJ…last time was a huge misunderstanding. Plus, you are in mommy's heart. She will never not want you. You must believe that. Your mommy shows you every day how she feels about you. You should never question her love for you."
JJ nodded his head against Jack's shoulder. "She's a great mommy."
"She is the best. You know, not all dreams are bad. Do you know that I have been having a dream for a while now. I would greatly love for it to come true."
"What?"
"I have dreamed a few times of our new home. Mommy laying on the couch with you in her arms."
"Like the first time you saw us at Auntie Abagail's?"
"Yes. You were protectively in her arms, but there is more."
"What?"
"Well, you two were on our couch in our home, not Auntie Abagail's."
"That will be nice."
"There was also a crib beside the couch. Your little sister was in it sleeping."
"I have a little sister?" JJ quickly asked sitting up in a seated position very quickly.
"In the dream, yes. See, not all dreams are bad. We just need to realize they are not real. No matter how much we love them or hate them. They're just dreams."
"I'm praying that dream of yours will come true."
"Me too." Whispered Elizabeth standing outside the bedroom door. She involuntary reached for her tiny tummy. She heard Jack begin to move in the room by getting out of the bed. She quickly patted her way across the hall and into her bedroom before she was seen. All the while, the dream of Jack's running through her mind.
…
"You're wearing that?" Viola shockingly asked when Jack walked into the kitchen.
"Sure. Why not?"
"It's not a suit."
"True. I'm not required to wear a suit to the office. Am I?" He turned to his wife.
"Not that I know of."
"It's expected." Viola stated with a little bit of disgust.
Jack was wearing a nice pair of slacks with clean, shiny boots. He had a green shirt that made his emerald eyes shine. He topped it all off by wearing a black vest. It wasn't a suit, but he was very nice looking and dressed nicely.
"Maybe, but as co-CEO and co-owner of Thatcher Shipping, I may wear what I desire. I am not going in overalls or some dirty work clothes. If Elizabeth wants me to do this, I have decided I am going to do this as me, Jack Thornton. I'm not pretending to be something or someone I am not to please anyone."
Elizabeth's smiled gave Jack all the assurance of her approval. She had to admit, his green shirt looked really good on him. "I agree. Mother, we will be by at one to pick you up to go and see father."
"Thank you, dear. Jack, you look nice. William always wore a suit, but that is what he wanted to do. You need to be comfortable and be you. Now, please sit. Breakfast is ready."
"I don't think it's proper."
"I'm sorry you disapprove, Viola, but let's be honest here, your opinion doesn't matter too much." Elizabeth stated.
"Good morning." JJ stated as he bounded into the kitchen.
"I believe Jack should…"
"That's enough!" Elizabeth stated forcefully under her breath. She glanced toward JJ and then back at her older sister. Her stare was completely understood by everyone. No one, especially her sister, was going to disrespect Jack in front of their son.
"Mother, Jack and I will be by later." Elizabeth turned her attention to her little boy. "And what do you have planned for today?"
"I will be with Grandma Grace until you are home. Then I am going with Mr. Thompson."
"He's the ground keeper. He promised to take JJ fishing at that pond." Grace stated.
"That sounds like a pleasant day." Elizabeth smiled at her son.
"I'm looking forward to it."
"No putting live things in your pockets." Elizabeth warned her little boy.
"Mommy…that rule doesn't apply when it's guys at the pond."
"That's true." Jack laughed.
"Then you two will clean out his pockets." Elizabeth stated as she kissed her son's cheek.
…
"What do you think?"
"I'm not sure. He's just sitting at the table staring out the window. We can't arrest him for that."
"No, but he's pushing the limits of his restraining order."
"How, Constable Dickerson? He is sitting at a pastry shop eating a stone and enjoying a coffee."
"He knows he isn't supposed to be within a certain distance from Mrs. Thornton. Her building and parking place is just across the street."
"Yes, and he knows it. What is your problem with this?"
"You read the papers and heard the stories. She played him and at the very last minute changed course and married a mountie. Now he is leaving the mounties to be a business man."
"He's leaving the mounties because he was lied to and his commander has been reprimanded and lost rank because of it. That just doesn't happen for no reason."
"He just wanted to marry her for her money."
"If so, why did he take the sheriff position in a small town he was serving in? Wouldn't he be moving here. Stop believing everything you read in those papers. They don't always tell you the truth. You know that as a mountie. Besides, you know of him. His father was a distinguished mountie. So is Jack."
"Maybe so…"
"No maybe. Now, you have your orders. If you want to be a mountie as respected as Jack Thornton, you better follow through with those orders."
"So, we are to sit and watch this guy?"
"You're not as dumb as you look." Dickerson laughed. "Pay attention. The Thorntons should be here somewhat soon."
As soon as Dickerson made his statement, the two undercover mounties noticed a complete change in Kensington's posture. He immediately snapped and sat taller. His gaze out the window grew in intensity.
…
"Is this really ok?"
"Jack, you look very nice."
"I should of worn the suit shouldn't I?"
"Jack…you look very nice. I guess this would be called business casual. You look nice. Now, why are you struggling with this so much? Is it because of what Viola said?"
"No…Yes…" He hesitantly stated.
She knew exactly what the issue was for Jack. It was her father's statements that he wasn't good enough for his daughter. That she would regret not living the life that she was entitled to. One of the many things she loves about Jack is his strength. He was a humble, confident man, but her father's words placed a serious doubt in his mind. Viola's statement this morning brought that doubt back to the forefront.
"The deal when we decided to do this was to be ourselves. Now, I love you in a suit. Especially the blue one you wore when you and JJ proposed to me. But Jack, you are not an everyday suit kind of guy. I also think you look just as nice in this. Jack, you promised me you would be yourself. That is the only way we can do this together."
Jack nodded his head, but his head was still looking at the floorboard of the car. She placed her finger under his chin and gently pulled it up so he would look at her.
"Now, we do this as ourselves. I hated the meeting yesterday, yet you took over and fixed an issue that they have had for a long time. See, we can do this together."
Jack nodded his head. "Together as ourselves."
"Yes."
"Ok…may I suggest something?"
"Jack, you do not have to ask."
"This isn't us." He nodded to the car's driver. "We are not chauffeured around like this."
"Oh…thank goodness." She moved a little closer. "I was hoping you would say that."
Jack let out a laugh. He understood her meaning well. "I always thought a Thatcher Princess would welcome the courtesy of being pampered and spoiled."
She huffed at his teasing. "I'm a Thornton Princess who has been spoiled by my two Thornton boys."
"I am eternally grateful you said yes."
"I am eternally grateful and asked."
"So, together and us being us?"
"That's the only way I want to live my life, Jack."
"Deal." He tenderly kissed her on the cheek.
"Now, if I can only know how to make dreams come true." She whispered with a daydreaming expression on her face.
"Yeah." He paused for a moment. "Wait, you were listening in on a private dad and son talk?"
"Oh look Jack…! I used to go there after school with some of my girlfriends." She pointed at a small sandwich shop in the middle of the block.
"Elizabeth…"
…
"Rosemary, I think we need to progress our relationship. We play this little game that we both enjoy, but let's stop pretending."
"What do you mean?"
"Rosemary, we flirt and enjoy each other, but we always pull back when things get too serious. I don't want to stop being us, but we also can't avoid the seriousness of this." He waved his hand between them. "You were worried sick when I was hurt. I could see it in your eyes. You stubbornly fight for me to obey Nurse Carter's instructions."
"You needed to heal."
"That's what I mean. Are you that way only because you want me to heal? Or is there something else between us that we just don't want to discuss?"
"Lee, you need to heal."
"I do. You and Faith have done a great job with helping me heal. Now, if you will excuse me. I need to get to work."
Lee stood from his chair and grabbed his two crutches. He turned to walk inside to grab a few papers.
"Where are you going?"
"Well, since you don't want to be honest with our discussion, I have work to do. I'm only allowed to be at work until four according to Faith's orders. I have a lot that needs to be attended to. I'm not wasting my time on a half hearted conversation."
Rosemary sat dumbfounded. She watched as Lee placed the crutches under his armpits and turn toward his front door. He quickly disappeared. She looked at an empty door frame for a few minutes. When the shock of the conversation began to wear off, Lee appeared holding a briefcase for work.
He stopped in the doorway when she stood and began to walk in his direction. She took a deep breath and reached for his hand without the briefcase.
"Lee…I'm sorry. I do enjoy our flirting and our back and forth, but you are right. We do avoid the serious discussions."
"Why?"
"I'm not sure. I think I'm afraid this is real, and I will mess it up."
"Like with Jack?"
"Jack and I should have never courted. We were friends who allowed other friends talk us into courting. We weren't right for each other. But Lee, I don't think that way with us. I like this?"
"You like this?"
"Lee…I love you."
"Great…because Rosemary, I love you and I would like to get married."
"Are you…"
"I am asking you to be my wife. I'm sorry I can't get on one knee, but I would love for you to say yes."
"Lee…Yes! I'll marry you."
…
Charles sighed as he noticed the black car slow down and then turn into the parking lot. He didn't get a glimpse of Elizabeth until she accepted Jack's hand and exited the car. She was beautiful in her cream colored dress. He knew in that moment that, if given the chance, he would take her back at a moment's notice. He just didn't know how that would ever happen. His father assured him that there was a plan to enact. Thinking back over their conversations in the past, Charles thought he knew a better way.
He stiffened when Elizabeth tiptoed and kissed Jack on the cheek. A flash of anger aroused inside of him. You just don't display affection like that in public. He seemed like a spectator of the life he knew he should be living. However, he knew an aggressive approach with Elizabeth wouldn't work. He had to play to the side of Elizabeth that he knew all too well.
…
"Now, don't you dare imagine that we are finished with the conversation." Jack playfully warned his wife.
"I understand." She whispered softly. Jack had the impression through her playfulness that she wasn't going to discuss the issue at all.
"Are you sure?" He smirked at her defiance.
"Yup."
He chuckled. He hadn't ever remembered her saying that word before. He glared, and smiled, at her for a few seconds. He turned her by her shoulders. He leaned in and placed his lips by her ear. He knew the effect that had on her.
"I don't think you do." He breathed a long, slow breath in her ear. He couldn't see her smile, but knew it was there. He playfully tapped her on the bottom.
Elizabeth jumped at his actions and giggled with delight. The playfulness of their relationship touched both of them.
"Mr. Thornton…I do not think that is appropriate behavior in the workplace."
"Maybe so…but I know the boss."
"Yeah…" She bashfully grinned. The outside world was beginning to fade away.
"I have insider information on the CEO." He gave her a huge, dimpled smile. "She loves her ear lobe nibbled on." Jack leaned closer to her. He was just a whisper's breath away from her ear lobe. He saw her tremble a little. He also saw the goose bumps on her neck. He gently blew on her ear as he continued to speak. "She also likes it when…"
"Yeah." She inhaled a quick breath. His closeness was driving her crazy. She could smell his cologne. Jack's smooth cheek lightly touched hers.
"She enjoys it when I…" He lightly touched his lips to her ear lobe but didn't nibble. He slowly touched her waist with his right hand. She stiffened at his unexpected contact. He slowly moved his hand from her side toward her smaller back. She loved his attention there. It was so intimate for her. He made small, soft circles with his index finger. Slowly he began to move his hand toward her bottom.
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows when she noticed where Jack's hand was going. She wanted to correct his actions in public, but she couldn't get her mind to cooperate. She was so lost in his closeness and his touch. She moved a little closer to him.
Jack gently tapped her bottom twice and then let his hand stay on her bottom. While he was still close to her ear, he softly, but seductively stated. "We have a private office."
Jack gently squeezed her bottom and immediately created distance between them. He took her hand and raised it to give a soft kiss to the back of her hand.
"Come on Mrs. Thornton, we have a job to learn."
Elizabeth only blankly stared at her husband. It didn't make sense to her. He was so intimately close a second earlier. Now, he was a couple of feet away talking about work.
"Jack…that's not fair!" She pouted.
…
Elizabeth excused herself when the conversation turned back to the warehouse issue. She just wasn't into it, nor could she pretend to be. This was an area that Jack would take the lead. He was much better with the infrastructure issues than she was. They were both ok with it.
Elizabeth knew they were leaving within an hour to visit her father. So, she decided to go for a short walk around the block. If she remembered correctly, there was a small park with a bench that had a nice view just around the corner. That would be a perfect stop to steal a few minutes out of the office.
She stopped by the café for a hot tea to take with her. She found the park to be more beautiful than she remembered. It wasn't a large park, but a nice one with several benches to sit and enjoy the sun and breeze.
Elizabeth saw an appliance and furniture store on the way to the park. She remembered the telegram from home suggesting she and Jack had begun to look at some furniture. She knew what she wanted. She just needed to have Jack's opinion. She decided to go by there after the visit with her Father or maybe after work tomorrow. She loved what she saw from the picture window in the front.
The sun was warm on her face and the breeze was refreshing. The sun and breeze danced together to make the temperature perfect. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes. She was soaking in the sun. She was also thankful for her life. Jack and JJ were the best of blessings to her. The shipping company was a huge task to take on, but she did think she and Jack could do it. She loved the change in her mother. She not only accepted Jack and JJ. She was also fulfilling her role as a loving grandmother. She wasn't happy with Viola, but she was receiving what she expected from her older sister.
As the sun and breeze washed over her, she was imagining the dream of Jack's. She was picturing herself laying on the couch with JJ securely in her arms. His back was to her, and he was engulfed in her embrace. His little head was tucked under her chin as they lay on their sides. She could see a white bassinet beside the couch just a couple of feet from her head. There was a little bit of lace fabric around the top giving it feminine look. The pink blanket was securely tucked around a beautiful, auburn hair little princess.
Elizabeth sighed at the image in front of her. The scene was so refreshing and relaxing. Over the last few days, she had thought more about having a baby with Jack. This scene only increased the thought and desire that was building within her.
"Good afternoon."
Elizabeth inwardly moaned at the interruption of her thinking. Of all the benches in the park, someone had to sit beside her. She straightened her head and opened her eyes. She turned her head and her eyes fell on the person sitting beside her.
"Charles…"