A/N: First off, I want to thank LivBensonStabler for previewing this chapter for me ahead of time, as I was having a serious crisis of conscience about it and doubting my own work. Second, I would like to wish her a very Happy Birthday, and dedicate this chapter to her as a gift. Hope you have an amazing day Maddy!
Disclaimer: SVU and all of its characters were created by and are the property of Dick Wolf. I make no profit with this story, which is my own original work.
For the third straight night in row, Elliot had been awakened by the sound of Olivia's screams. He wasn't sure what was worse – having been in the dark as to their cause – or knowing the full truth as to the driving force behind them. All he knew for certain was that she was still refusing his comfort. Yet again before going to bed tonight, she had reminded him that entering her room while she slept was not allowed.
As he pushed himself up into a sitting position in the bed, he scrubbed his palms over his face. They hadn't talked as much today as he would have liked, but the silence between them hadn't been uncomfortable, either. The one thing that still hurt to a degree was that Olivia was still addressing him by his full name – her only lapse having been the previous day on the beach when she'd asked him where he'd been. He wanted to hear her call him 'El' again in the worst way, but right now that was at the bottom of his list of concerns. Right now, he just wanted her to sleep through the night undisturbed.
He had other worries too, mainly in regard to her appetite. True to his promise, he hadn't pressured her until it was time to make dinner. Olivia had refused lunch, but had agreed to eat dinner – she'd even gone so far as to request he heat up some of the leftover soup for her. This time, Elliot had given her a little extra in the bowl, even though he knew he might be pushing his luck. When he was clearing the dishes, he figured that she'd managed to eat about one ladle full, which was almost twice the amount she'd had the day before. Sadly, it was also the only thing she'd eaten for the entire day. But he couldn't let her know that he knew that. He was still supposed to have believed that she'd had toast for breakfast.
Despite the fact that they had both wanted to, they hadn't gotten to take a walk on the beach today. An unexpected storm had blown in, and while it hadn't been an exceptionally bad one, the rainfall had kept them indoors. They'd passed the time watching movies, or rather, Elliot had watched movies. Olivia had stared blankly at the screen, and he couldn't say for certain if were to ask her, she would remember any of the plots of the films.
Tomorrow morning, they had plans to go running together, though Elliot hoped he would be able to encourage Olivia to take a leisurely walk instead. He was worried that she would be pushing herself to do too much too soon if she were to run at a fast pace. Yes, it was true she wasn't dealing with any physical injuries that would slow her down, but given the fact that she'd barely been eating, he was worried about the effect the exertion would have on her body. As it was, she'd mentioned tonight about eventually wanting to find a gym in the area, perhaps something with a kickboxing class. Granted, a gym was an appealing thought to him too, as he hadn't been a regular member at one since he was on the force. When he'd been living in California, Paul had had a home gym, not to mention the fact that the jobs he had worked had often been workouts in themselves. Still, he worried that she was going to overdo it.
Again Olivia's screams echoed through the house, and Elliot had to tamp down the urge to go to her. Looking at the clock on the bedside table, he noted that it was just after two in the morning. Usually, she would first start yelling out in her sleep around midnight. Was it really possible that she'd slept this long without a disruption, or had he actually slept through it the first time? He hoped it was the former, because the thought of it being the latter, even if he was forbidden to go to her, upset him more than he was willing to admit. Elliot felt like he had no right to sleep peacefully while Olivia was being tormented in her dreams.
Hearing movement in the hallway and on the steps, Elliot warred with himself internally. Should he follow her downstairs? He realized that it was likely that Olivia just wanted to be by herself right now, but he hated to leave her alone with her thoughts. The least he could do was offer to make her some tea. If she were to tell him to leave, he would respect her wishes.
After getting out of bed and pulling the tee shirt he'd been wearing earlier over his head – he'd been sleeping in his sweat pants just in case Olivia would need him during the night – Elliot opened his bedroom door and headed for the stairs. He made certain to make enough noise so that she would hear him coming, as the last thing he wanted to do was startle her. As he approached the bottom step, a bluish glow came into view, illuminating the living room. The television was on. Olivia was on the couch in her usual corner, lying on her side, curled up into a ball. She had the blanket wrapped around her, and it seemed yet again as though she were trying to make herself as small as possible.
"I know you're there, Elliot."
The volume was muted, so he heard her easily, even though her voice hadn't been much over a whisper. The exhaustion in her tone was evident. Even though he had more than a dozen questions on his mind, Elliot opted for the most important one of all – getting her permission.
"Do you want me to leave? Go back upstairs, I mean?"
He'd made certain to clarify, not wanting her to misinterpret his words and think he'd meant that he would be leaving the cottage, and ultimately her.
"You can stay."
Relaxing his stance slightly, Elliot took another step closer to the couch. It didn't escape his notice that while he had been put more at ease, it was Olivia who had inadvertently tensed up. In an effort to make her more comfortable, he decided to offer what he had come here for in the first place.
"Would you like me to make you some tea, Liv? Chamomile, perhaps?"
She didn't answer him verbally, but he caught her nod in the light coming from the flat screen on the opposite wall. Padding into the kitchen, he put the kettle on to boil. While he waited, an idea came to mind, and he sprinted upstairs for a moment, calling a 'be right back' over his shoulder.
When he reached his bedroom, he grabbed one of the pillows from the bed, in addition to his tablet. Hoping his idea would work, Elliot headed back toward the kitchen, arriving just as the kettle began to whistle. He poured water into two mugs, added the tea bags, then left them to steep. Once in the living room, he deposited his tablet on the coffee table so it would be within easy reach. Then, Elliot extended the pillow in his arms to a wary Olivia.
"What are you doing?"
"You're going to get a stiff neck if you lay with your head against the arm of the couch like that. Here, use this. At the very least, prop it behind your back to give yourself some support. I'll be right back with your tea."
By the time Elliot had returned with two steaming mugs of tea in his hands, Olivia had appeared to have followed his advice. She was still curled up in the far corner of the couch, but was now in a semi upright position. The pillow was behind her back, and the blanket was now thrown over her knees – which were in their customary position of being drawn against her chest. She had also taken notice of the tablet on the coffee table.
"Elliot, you really don't have to stay here with me. You can go upstairs and go back to sleep. I'll be fine."
Taking his seat on the couch, Elliot picked up the tablet and slouched down, propping his feet on the coffee table. Crossing his legs at the ankle, he used his thumb to turn on the electronic device in his hand.
"I'm not going anywhere. I brought this with me for a reason. I figured you wouldn't be able to relax right away, so I thought maybe you'd want to see some pictures I took with the kids when I was spending time with them."
While it wasn't exactly a smile that had appeared on Olivia's face just then, her eyes had brightened somewhat at the mention of his kids. Elliot took heart at the realization that Don had been right after all – the Olivia he knew and loved was still there. He'd known it was true, but the glimpses he'd been getting since he'd arrived had been so few and far between.
Pulling his photo album up on the screen, Elliot passed the tablet to Olivia. She set her tea on the coffee table, afraid of spilling it, and began scrolling through. The first in the series of images must have been taken Elliot's first night in Florida, as it showed Maureen and Kathleen together. Olivia observed that the photograph was a candid one, and it appeared as though their father had captured the sisters in the middle of laughing at something – likely one of his corny jokes.
She felt a bit wistful, remembering how the girls – now women - had been when she'd first met them almost sixteen years ago.
When she and Elliot had first become partners, Maureen had been fourteen, and Kathleen was nine. The twins were only five at the time. Eli hadn't even been born yet. Now, with the exception of his youngest, all of Elliot's 'kids' were adults. Maureen would have turned thirty this year, which would make Kathleen twenty five. Richard and Elizabeth had recently celebrated their twenty first birthdays, and that meant that Eli would be turning seven this coming November.
As Olivia continued to scroll through the photographs, she was filled with so many emotions. She had watched these children grow up – she'd even been present at Eli's birth, and had gotten to hold him before his own father. Then, the entire Stabler family had disappeared from her life just as Elliot had. Yes, she knew the reasons for it now, but it still didn't erase the hurt she had felt all those years ago. While she had always known that she never truly belonged, for the most part, Elliot and his kids had always made her feel welcome.
"Have you talked to them since you've been here?"
"I spoke to Kathleen the night I arrived. I plan to talk to her again tomorrow. I'm not going to tell her anything."
Olivia's sigh of relief was audible. Not that she'd ever believed for an instant that Elliot would betray her trust, or put those kinds of horrific details into his children's minds, but more because she was comforted. Even here, it brought her peace to know he was still in contact with his family. She hadn't taken that away from him.
Flipping through the rest of the images, Olivia continued to take in how wonderful the reunion with his children must have been for Elliot, how happy it must have made him. As long as she'd known him, his family had meant everything to him. That's why she was having such a hard time grasping the fact that he'd returned to New York City without them. Now, he was here in Cape May with her, and clearly didn't plan on going anywhere. Maybe after he'd been here a few weeks, she could try and encourage him to return to Florida, where he belonged. It would break her heart to lose him again, but he deserved to be with his family, and not fussing over her.
As Olivia focused on a photograph of Eli, she couldn't help but smile. He was beaming at the camera, showing off the fact that he was missing one of his top teeth. Even though things hadn't gone as he would have liked, she is relieved that Elliot got to spend some time with his youngest. She hoped that he will continue to pursue regaining his joint custody rights, because Eli needed his father in his life.
Before she even realized it, she'd reached the end of the pictures that Elliot has wanted to show her. Passing the tablet back, Olivia picked her tea up again. It was cool enough that she could drink it without burning her tongue. The aroma of the chamomile was soothing, and she breathed it in as she took a lengthy sip. The television had been playing an infomercial silently during the time they've been sitting, and as she glanced at the screen, Olivia caught sight of a particularly amusing demonstration. It didn't exactly feature the product they were trying to sell in the most flattering way, and she made a comment about that fact to the man sitting next to her.
"I'm glad you mentioned it, because I was over here trying my hardest not to."
They shared a laugh then, and for the first time since they'd been reunited, it was as if they could both feel some of the familiar ease returning between them. Yes, there would still be some awkward moments, and there were several conversations that still needed to be had, but for tonight at least, Olivia was comfortable with having Elliot near.
That is why when she used the powder room a short while later, and returned to find that he had rearranged the blanket and pillow on the couch, she wasn't upset. If anything, Olivia took heart at the gesture, and was overwhelmed at the emotions flooding through her. Normally, she would protest something like this – fight it tooth and nail and insist that she was fine – but they both knew she was anything of the sort. Elliot may have avoided bringing up the topic, but she knew he had heard her screaming in the night, and she knew that it had likely taken every ounce of his willpower not to go to her room.
The pillow she had been using was now laying flat on the couch, and Olivia knew that Elliot meant for her to stretch out and rest her head. She was immensely grateful he'd positioned things so that her feet would be near his legs, knowing instinctively that no matter how much she trusted him, if she were to wake up suddenly with her head in or near a man's lap, it would undoubtedly be a trigger.
"I thought you could make yourself comfortable, Liv. I can't promise you that you'll sleep, but at the very least, try and get some rest. You're not going to get that all curled up in the corner of the couch. If it would make you feel better, I can always sit on the floor."
Shaking her head, Olivia walked around the coffee table back to 'her' spot. She pulled back the fleece blanket that Elliot had arranged and lay down on her side. Instead of curling up completely as she usually did, she stretched one leg out until the sole of her foot was brushing against the side of Elliot's thigh. Content with that minimal amount of contact, she allowed the rest of her body to relax and closed her eyes.
Not more than a few seconds later, Olivia's eyes popped back open again. Quiet – it was too quiet. Grabbing for the remote on the coffee table, she increased the volume until the voices on whatever program was playing were at a gentle hum. Satisfied now, she dropped the remote back onto the table's surface with a clatter, and pulled the blanket up to her chin.
Sitting next to where Olivia lay, Elliot tried not to move a muscle, so as not to disturb her. He kept his hands folded together and resting on his stomach, almost afraid to breathe. Instead, he focused on Olivia's breaths, praying that they would even out and let him know that she had succumbed to a peaceful sleep at last. He considered tonight to be a milestone of sorts. She may not have confided in him any more, but she hadn't pushed him away, either. Moreover, she was letting him stay by her side while she slept, even with the chance that more nightmares could happen. Even though he'd been up all through the previous night, and had barely slept at all tonight, Elliot wasn't about to close his eyes any time soon.
A shriek of terror and a swift kick to his rib cage brought Elliot out of a fitful sleep. Ignoring the discomfort, he immediately turned his attention to Olivia. From what he could see in the light provided by the television, she was clutching at the blanket, and her face was distorted into a mask of pure fear. Though he longed to provide her with comfort, he didn't dare touch her, too worried that the contact would only escalate her nightmare. Instead, he began to call to her, hoping his voice would break through the horrors she was trapped within and bring her back to the present.
"Liv, Olivia – can you hear me? It's Elliot. I need you to wake up. I'm here with you, and you're safe."
"Elliot."
His name escaped her lips, but it wasn't in a form of recognition. This was more of a whimper. It broke his heart to see her this way, and for the first time, Elliot began to understand why Olivia had made the rules that she had. She hadn't just been preserving her own modesty, she'd done it to save him from feeling any guilt. Even now, after three years apart and having survived untold torment, she was still trying to protect him. It was likely the same reason why she'd given him the illusion yesterday morning that she'd eaten when she hadn't. Olivia was trying to keep him from worrying about her. Didn't she know that even a distance of nearly three thousand miles hadn't been able to prevent him from doing that? It certainly wasn't going to stop now that she was back in his everyday life.
A moan to his right caught his attention, and Elliot called to Olivia once more. When she finally began to stir, he kept quiet, allowing her her space. She adjusted positions, curling back up in the corner again with her knees pulled up against her chest. Unwilling to meet his gaze, she asked a question in a small voice.
"What happened?"
"Nothing happened. You were having a nightmare, so I tried to wake you. I didn't want to touch you, because I was worried I'd only startle you more, so I just kept talking to you."
Olivia was silent for several moments, trying to absorb what Elliot was telling her. Her anxiety was obvious in her body language.
"I didn't say anything out loud, did I?"
Knowing he had to be honest with her, Elliot told her the complete truth.
"The only thing I heard was you repeating my name when I told you who I was and that I was with you."
Olivia's relief was apparent. Still, she was ashamed that Elliot had had to see her in such a vulnerable state. Curious as to the time, she heard herself asking that very question out loud. When he told her that it was just after five in the morning, she didn't know what to think. Logically, she knew she should try and get more rest, but she didn't want to fall back to sleep on the couch. Plus, it wasn't fair to Elliot for him to sleep sitting up.
"I think I'm going to go back up to bed, try and sleep for a little while longer. I'll meet you down here again in a couple hours, that is if you still want to go for a run this morning?"
"That sounds good, Liv."
As she got up, Olivia made a motion to clean up their now empty mugs and carry them into the kitchen, but Elliot told her he would take care of it. Meeting her on the other side of the coffee table as she headed for the stairs, he dared to make contact with her. Offering her his hand, he waited for her to accept. When she did, he squeezed gently in a show of support, and reminded her he'd see her in a few hours.
Elliot watched Olivia go up the stairs, and waited until he could hear the sound of her bedroom door closing. Then, he went about cleaning up. After turning off the television, he carried the mugs into the kitchen, and deposited them into the sink. Stopping off in the living room one last time to retrieve his tablet and his pillow, he returned to his own bedroom. Not even bothering to remove his shirt, he crawled between the covers and rested his head on the pillow. He paused to say a brief prayer that Olivia's remaining hours of sleep would be peaceful ones, then drifted off himself.
It was seven thirty when he woke again, and while he hadn't exactly had a full night's sleep, his body felt adequately rested. Elliot got up and went through his morning routine, deciding to save his shower for after his run. Dressing in a pair of track pants and a tee shirt, he shrugged on a sweatshirt for additional warmth against the morning chill. It was still only April, and the breeze coming off the ocean tended to make the temperatures colder than what he had been used to.
Once he was downstairs, Elliot waged an internal battle with himself over whether or not he should brew a pot of coffee now, or wait until they got back from their run. Opting to wait, he drank a glass of orange juice instead. He also began searching through the cabinets and fridge for ideas on what to make for breakfast this morning. He was interrupted by the sound of footsteps on the stairs, and turned to see Olivia entering the kitchen to join him. She was already dressed for a run – leggings, and a long sleeved tee shirt that fell to mid thigh. She had a lightweight jacket draped over one arm, and her hair was pulled back away from her face into a ponytail.
"Morning, Elliot. I'm surprised to find you awake. When I didn't smell any coffee, I thought you might be sleeping still."
"Morning, Liv. I've been up for about the last thirty minutes or so. The only reason I didn't make coffee yet was because I knew we were headed out on a run. I'll definitely make a pot when we get back, though. Did you want something before we headed out? A glass of juice perhaps – or a granola bar?"
Olivia shook her head, indicating she wasn't interested. Elliot's lips set in a thin line as concern swept over him yet again, but he resisted the urge to say anything. He'd try again to suggest some food when they returned. Maybe if he were to make some breakfast, he could convince her to eat something. He was pulled from his thoughts when he realized she was speaking to him again, and noticed that Olivia was already waiting for him at the door to the cottage. Her jacket was on, and she appeared ready to go. Gulping down the last of his juice, he headed to join her. As they exited the cottage he posed a question.
"Did you want to run in any particular direction today?"
"I want to get a bit more familiar with the area before I attempt to run on the beach. I thought we could run past the lighthouse, and make a giant loop around all the houses in the area."
Elliot nodded. That was basically the same path he had traveled the day before. Olivia locked the door, and put the key into a hidden pocket in her leggings. Then, she zipped the jacket she was wearing up closer to her neck, and started jogging down the path to the sidewalk. By the time she'd neared the road, she was at a full out run. Elliot had to sprint in order to catch up to her. When his pace evened up with hers, he glanced to his side, catching her profile in his peripheral vision.
"Easy, Liv. It's not a race. If you want some space, all you have to do is tell me, and I'll back off, okay?"
The woman to his right gave him no hint that she acknowledged what he'd said, but her pace did gradually lessen. The expression on her face showed that she was intently focused – on what, he had no clue. Her eyes kept darting back in forth, as though she were constantly checking out her surroundings.
This was something that broke Elliot's heart to witness. As a cop, Olivia had always been aware of her surroundings – sweeping the scene for any sign of potential danger. So had he. But this, this was a form of hypervigilance that went to the extreme. Her body was coiled, tense, ready to fight off an attack that she expected to happen at any given second. The farther they ran, the faster her pace quickened, until the distance between them grew yet again. It was then that Elliot realized that Olivia wasn't running to ease her nerves, she was running as though she was being chased by a ghost – or a devil.
It was forty five minutes later that they returned to the cottage. Elliot had wanted to head back sooner, but Olivia had insisted on making one more loop past the lighthouse. She was determined to go with or without him, and he didn't want her running alone. Not when she had been eating so little the past few days. As it was, he was worried that she was pushing herself too hard.
Once they were inside the door, Elliot kicked off his shoes, and shed his sweatshirt. A part of him would have liked to have stripped off his tee shirt, too, but he didn't dare go that far. While it certainly wouldn't have been the first time that Olivia would have seen him shirtless, he didn't want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable.
For her part, Olivia shed her jacket as well, and deposited her own shoes by the door next to Elliot's. She could hear her pulse thrumming in her ears, a welcome reprieve from the usual cacophony of the echoes of her screams she usually heard on an endless loop. Either that or it was Lewis' raspy whisper taunting her about whatever way he was going to torture her next. Or, her favorite – the resounding click of the revolver as the empty chamber was revealed. No, given all those noises, she'd take the sound of her heartbeat any day. At least that way, she knew for certain that she was still alive – even if it felt like she was dying on the inside.
"Liv? Olivia?"
Elliot tried to get her attention, and when he succeeded, he passed her a glass of orange juice. Olivia resisted at first, until he reminded her that she'd had a lengthy workout, and needed to have something in her system to stabilize her blood sugar. Reluctantly, she accepted the glass and began to sip the liquid. As she did so, the pounding in her ears intensified, and her legs began to shake involuntarily. After setting the glass down on the counter, Olivia was aware that Elliot had taken a few steps closer. She held up her hand to tell him to back away, but her arms were trembling now, too. She tried to tell him to just give her a minute, that she would be fine, but the words just wouldn't come, and then her world went dark.
"LIV!"
Unable to help himself, Elliot cried out her name in a shout as he caught her in his arms before she hit the floor. He'd watched for several seconds, terrified, as her limbs had shook. Before he'd had a chance to tell her to go and sit down, her eyes had rolled into the back of her head and she'd passed out. Scooping Olivia's limp frame into his arms, Elliot carried her over to the couch and lay her down. Grasping her wrist gently, he used two fingers to measure her pulse. The beats were a bit erratic, but that could still be attributed to their run.
Elliot was torn over what to do, waging an internal war with himself. If he were to call for an ambulance, Olivia would certainly be furious with him. She may even kick him out. But if something were seriously wrong, he'd never forgive himself. She should have come around by now, and he knew that she'd barely been eating. Mind made up, he headed for the counter where he'd left his cell phone when a knock at the door got his attention.
At first, he was simply going to ignore it, but then Elliot realized that the person standing on the other side could see in the window. Not wanting them to get the wrong impression, he hurried to answer it. A man standing there smiled warmly.
"Good morning. I hope I'm not disturbing you, but I'm here to see Olivia. My wife wanted me to invite you both to dinner later this week."
More confused than ever, Elliot stared on in disbelief. How did this man know who he was? Moreover, how did he know Olivia? His puzzled expression must have given him away, for the man hurried to explain.
"I'm sorry, I should introduce myself. My name is Owen Winter. I'm the next door neighbor, and a friend of Don's. He told me that you would be coming up here to check on Olivia."
Elliot shook the other man's hand, his confusion abating for the moment. This had to have been the man Olivia had mentioned the other day, the one who had helped her carry in her things.
"I'll be sure to tell Olivia you dropped by. She isn't feeling well at the moment. We just got back from a run, and I think she overdid it."
Now, it was Owen who was concerned. Taking a step closer, he acted as though he wanted to come inside.
"Is she okay? I could take a quick look at her, as long as she wouldn't mind. I'm a retired army medic, and still assist for a branch of local EMS here."
Maybe this would be a better option, Elliot thought. He wouldn't have to break Olivia's trust by calling an ambulance, and she could still have someone look her over and make sure she was all right. If, for whatever reason, Owen determined that additional help was still necessary, then he would call. Never before had he been so indecisive when it came to Olivia, but the last thing he wanted to do right now was force her into another situation where she would feel trapped.
Stepping out of the way, Elliot allowed Owen entry into the cottage. With his arm, he indicated where Olivia was still unconscious on the couch.
"She passed out a few minutes ago when we got back from the run. Her pulse is strong, and her breathing has been good."
Owen rushed over to where Olivia lay, dialing his phone as he did so.
"Stacy honey? Can you bring my bag next door please? And hurry! Thank you!"
After hanging up, Owen sat on the edge of the coffee table and grasped Olivia's wrist in his hand. As he measured her pulse, he kept track of the beats by studying his wristwatch. He followed the same process to count her respirations per minute, watching as her chest rose and fell in even intervals. Turning to Elliot, he gave a few basic instructions.
"Can you grab a cold compress, a wet cloth, something like that? I want to try and cool her down some. She's not extremely overheated, but her cheeks are flushed."
"On it."
Elliot hurried off to do as Owen had asked, admonishing himself for not having thought about it in the first place. He'd been a police officer for over twenty years, and before that, in the military. Basic first aid had been ingrained in him for a long time. He should have known better.
Another knock at the door caught his attention as he was bringing a cold cloth over, and without thinking, he called out that it was open. A petite woman entered, with an exceedingly large duffel bag that was almost half her size slung over one shoulder. Elliot surmised that this must be Stacy. She carried it over to her husband, then left as quickly as she had come, giving a friendly wave on her way out. Elliot supposed she just hadn't wanted Olivia to feel overwhelmed or crowded when she regained consciousness.
Taking a stethoscope and sphygmomanometer out of his bag, Owen wrapped the velcro cuff around Olivia's upper arm and began to take her blood pressure. When he finished with that task, he shone a penlight in her eyes, checking the reaction of her pupils. Finally he tested the way the skin on the back of her hand responded when pinched slightly. That wasn't exactly a scientific method, but would go one step further in confirming his theory.
"I think she's just dehydrated, as well as exhausted. I can give her some fluids now, but you'll want to get her to eat and drink something when she wakes up. If she should pass out again, you should to take her to the hospital just to be safe."
Owen gave Elliot a few more instructions, including asking him to bring over the coat rack that was by the door. He also suggested that he cool down the compress once more for Olivia's forehead. By the time Elliot returned, an IV had been set up, and a bag of saline was hanging from the coat rack, flowing into Olivia's veins at a steady rate. This time, when he lay the cool cloth against her skin, her eyelids fluttered as she blinked into awareness. That was when panic set in. She wasn't alone – and there was a needle in her arm.
Flailing out, Olivia tried to sit up as fast as she could, ignoring the way the room tilted and spun around her. She reached with her opposite hand to the one with the needle, attempting to pull it out. Whatever he was trying to drug her with, she wanted no part of. That was when she heard a voice she recognized, and felt two hands hovering above her shoulders, but not actually touching her.
"Liv! Liv, it's me. It's Elliot. You're safe. You passed out after we got back from our run. Owen is here, he's helping you out. You just needed some fluids, you were a little dehydrated. You're going to be okay."
Turning her head to the side, Olivia opened her eyes fully. She felt her face flush with shame as she took in the sight of a man she had met only once before. But his eyes were kind, and there was nothing about his body language that added to her embarrassment. Instead, she found herself asking a question, curiosity getting the better of her.
"You're a doctor?"
"I was an army medic for several years. I'm retired now, but still volunteer my time with local services."
Humbled, Olivia didn't quite know what to say. Eventually, she managed a thank you, then allowed Elliot to prop her up with a couple of pillows that he had brought down from his bedroom. Owen, who had keenly observed Olivia's behavior, tried to do whatever was necessary to make her comfortable.
"It will take approximately an hour for the entire bag to empty, Olivia. If you'd like, I can leave and come back to collect my things later. That will give you a chance to relax."
"If you're sure it won't be a problem."
Owen assured her it wouldn't be, and that he would give Elliot his phone number, in case she should experience any discomfort at the site where the needle had been inserted into her vein. Then, as he stood to leave, he offered one final bit of advice, something that Olivia didn't necessarily want to hear.
"Make sure you eat something. The fluids will combat the dehydration, but you want to keep your blood sugar balanced so you don't pass out again."
It was Elliot who chimed in before she had a chance to argue.
"I'll make her some breakfast as soon as you leave, I promise. Let me walk you out."
After seeing Owen out, Elliot came back inside the cottage. It didn't escape his notice that Olivia was avoiding any and all eye contact. He figured that even though he hadn't taken her to a hospital, she was still angry with him for involving someone else. That was fine. She could be as mad at him as she wanted, so long as she would be all right. In fact, he suspected he was about to incite her ire again, because this time he wasn't going to listen to her 'I'm not hungry' excuse. Even Owen had said that she needed to eat something. It wasn't a matter of preference at the moment – it was medically necessary.
"Okay, Liv - what do you want for breakfast?"
"Elliot..."
It was just as he had figured. Of course she would appear fine and cooperative when there was a stranger around, but now that it was just the two of them, she was prepared to fight. Well, so was he. It didn't mean that his empathy for what she'd been through had lessened, but the adrenaline was still pumping through Elliot's veins at having witnessed Olivia's collapse. The last thing he wanted was for that to happen again.
"Let me rephrase that. I'm making you breakfast, I'm just asking you what you prefer to eat. Do you want pancakes? Or would you prefer to have eggs and toast?"
The fire flamed in Olivia's eyes at his challenge, and it was the first true sign of life he'd seen in her since his arrival. He'd take it. He'd gladly take her anger – even if it was directed at him – any day over seeing the shell of a woman his partner had become. Yes, he understood that she'd been through not just one, but two traumas in a short period of time, but it wasn't like Olivia to just give up. He was willing to do whatever necessary to help, but she had to want it.
"Fine. I'll have one scrambled egg, and one piece of toast."
"Two eggs. You need to eat, Olivia."
Olivia punched the back of the couch with the side of her fist in frustration. Why was he so determined to start a fight with her on this? Part of her wanted to say 'screw it' and not eat anything. But after her scare this morning, the last thing she needed was to end up in the emergency room. In an unfamiliar town, that would only lead to more questions that she didn't want to answer. She supposed she should be grateful that Owen had been able to help her out the way that he had. Turning back to Elliot and hating that her diet had become a negotiation, she tried again.
"One egg, a piece of toast, and a yogurt."
Conceding the fact that she was actually trying to cooperate with him, Elliot nodded his head in confirmation. That would work – for now. It didn't mean they wouldn't verbally spar again later in the day when he wanted her to eat again, though.
"Deal. Did you want cheese in your scrambled egg?"
"Only if you want me to eat it."
Now that was the sarcastic Olivia that he knew so well. Shaking his head to himself, Elliot headed for the kitchen. As an afterthought, he returned briefly to the living room to bring Olivia her unfinished glass of juice from before – which he'd topped off a bit. He'd hoped she hadn't noticed. If she had, she hadn't said anything about it. On his way back out to the kitchen, he asked her if she wanted coffee with breakfast, or if she would prefer tea to drink. To his surprise, she was opting for coffee this morning.
About twenty minutes later, Elliot was bringing over a plate and a steaming mug of coffee for Olivia. He hoped she wouldn't notice that he'd given her slightly more than one egg worth to eat – he'd mixed several together in a bowl to cook in the same skillet – but if she had, she didn't say anything to him. Included with her egg was a piece of lightly buttered toast and a container of strawberry yogurt.
By the time he returned with his own food, Elliot realized that Olivia had yet to take a bite. Instead, she was clutching her fork tightly in her fist, and eyeing the items on her plate warily, as though they were an unforeseen enemy that must be watched at all times. Calling to her gently, he tried to draw her out of her trance.
"Liv."
Her troubled gaze shifted to meet his, and there was an imperceptible tremble in her lower lip. For the first time, Elliot truly understood. This wasn't just about a refusal to eat – she was honestly struggling when it came to facing food. Trying to lessen the hurdle for her, as the task she was trying to accomplish likely seemed insurmountable, he offered a gentle reminder.
"It's just breakfast Liv. Start with a few small bites, and take it from there. Did you want me to separate things for you?"
"No."
Even though she'd answered in the negative, Olivia had been deeply touched by Elliot's offer. At the same time, she'd also been embarrassed. This is one of the reasons why she'd been refusing to eat. She'd lost control over everything else in her life lately – her job had nearly been taken away, then she'd been forced into a mandatory leave of absence, not to mention the fact that she couldn't remember the last time she'd had a decent night of sleep. Food was the only remaining factor in her life that she was responsible for that no one could tell her what to do or when to do it. It hadn't helped matters any that given everything that had happened, her appetite had been practically non existent. For someone else to know – let alone understand – her motives was humiliating.
Taking the tiniest bite of egg, Olivia chewed carefully before swallowing. She wanted to be sure she wouldn't experience the familiar feeling of her throat wanting to close up that sometimes happened when she ate after being upset. When that didn't happen, she tried another tentative bite, then another. Eventually, she added some toast into the mix. When she had finished with the hot food on her plate, she turned to the yogurt. Already, her stomach was trying to signal to her brain that she was full, but she had promised Elliot that she would eat, and she hated to break her word.
After she'd eaten a little less than half the container of yogurt, Olivia knew there was no way she could eat any more, promise or no promise. If she were to try, she feared she'd make herself sick. Setting the spoon down, she turned to Elliot to try and explain, only to find him watching her.
"It's all right, Liv."
Clearing both dishes away, Elliot disappeared into the kitchen for a few minutes. When he returned, it was to collect their empty coffee mugs and Olivia's juice glass. Glancing at the bag of saline that was still hanging from the coat rack, he estimated that there was still about another twenty minutes to go before Owen would return. Turning on the television, he found something to tune into to help pass the time.
An hour later, Owen had come and gone, and Olivia was feeling much better. He'd even told her it was okay to shower so long as she wasn't feeling lightheaded anymore. Just before leaving, he'd remembered what he had come over to the cottage for in the first place – to invite Elliot and Olivia over for dinner one evening the following week. Not sure what to say just yet, Olivia had merely told the man who'd helped her that she'd have to think about it.
She'd taken her shower awhile ago, and now Olivia was just waiting for Elliot to join her downstairs. Even though she'd assured him it wouldn't be a problem, he had wanted to wait until she was finished before taking his own turn at cleaning up. She reasoned that she couldn't blame him, she had after all passed out on him, it was understandable that he'd still be worried. She'd just have to be sure not to push herself so hard the next time they went running – which wouldn't be until at least the day after tomorrow. Owen had made her promise to take a day off from exercise, unless it was a leisurely walk.
Now that everything from this morning had fully sunk in, Olivia was feeling embarrassed beyond belief. She wanted nothing more than to run away – to escape from it all, even for just a little while. Deciding to do just that, she left a brief note for Elliot. She didn't tell him where she was going, only because she didn't even know herself. All she stated was that she needed some time to clear her head, and that she'd be back as soon as possible. Then, without even bothering to grab her jacket to protect herself against the chill in the air, Olivia slipped on her shoes and left the cottage.
Elliot returned to his bedroom after his shower, realizing that he'd taken longer than he'd originally planned. He felt a little guilty for leaving Olivia by herself for so long, but realized she probably appreciated the solitude after everything that had happened this morning. The last thing she would want right now is him hovering. Glancing around at the clutter that surrounded him, he made a promise to himself that tonight before falling asleep, he would try and unpack some of his belongings and get settled in somewhat. Now that it had pretty much been decided that he would in fact be staying here indefinitely, he could stop living out of his bags.
Since they had no plans to go anywhere else today, he decided to dress casually, opting for a pair of sweats and a tee shirt. Heading back downstairs, Elliot took note of the fact that Olivia's bedroom door was open. She must have forgotten to close it when she went downstairs earlier, and he thought about doing it for her, but didn't want to overstep. If for any reason he needed to come back upstairs for anything, he could always ask her about it then.
As he neared the bottom step, the uneasy feeling that had been in the pit of his stomach ever since he'd left the shower only increased in intensity. At first, he had dismissed it as leftover adrenaline from what had happened when Olivia had fainted this morning. But this was something else entirely. Something was wrong. Retirement didn't negate twenty plus years of instinct. That was something that couldn't be turned off. Running down the remaining few steps, Elliot felt his heart sink when he realized he was alone in the cottage. Olivia was nowhere to be found, and to make matters worse, there was no way of telling how long ago she'd left, either.
Even though he had no clue of what direction to go in, he was going to go after her. As he made his way to the counter where he'd left his keys, Elliot spied a note that Olivia must have left behind. His newfound relief was only temporary though, upon reading the words on the page.
Elliot – I needed to get away for awhile and clear my head. Whatever you do, don't try and find me. I don't know where I'm going, only that I can't be here right now. Try not to worry, I promise I will be back. - Olivia
Torn between following his gut and obeying her wishes, Elliot warred internally with himself for several minutes. That feeling only intensified when he spied Olivia's jacket hanging on the coat rack – which hadn't been moved from its position by the couch. It was likely why she'd forgotten it in her current distracted state. Heading to the door, he looked out, and was momentarily relieved when he saw that her SUV was still parked in the driveway. Wherever she had gone, she'd headed there on foot. Although given her weakened state, that may not be the best idea. Looking at his watch, he determined he could give her another twenty minutes. If she wasn't back by then, he would go looking for her.
Despite his promises to himself, Elliot hadn't been able to hold out another five minutes. Before he left the cottage, he ran upstairs to grab one of his hooded sweatshirts, knowing that by the time he found her, Olivia would likely be in need of some warmth. The light jacket she had worn this morning just wouldn't be enough.
Outside the cottage, and operating solely on instinct, Elliot tried to figure out where Olivia may have gone to. As far as he was aware, she didn't know anyone in this town, so that ruled out other people's homes. There also weren't any cafes or coffee shops nearby that he knew of, so she couldn't have gone there, either. No, he was guessing that she had gone to one of two places – the lighthouse they had run past on several loops this morning, or the beach where they had eaten lunch the other day when he had told her about where he'd been.
Opting to head for the beach first, as it was closer, Elliot took off at a steady pace. He wasn't exactly running, but he wasn't walking slowly either. The last thing he wanted was to make it look like he was in a panic – even though he actually was – in case he should meet up with Olivia on her way home. As it was, he'd likely have to explain himself when he found her.
Making his way down onto the beach, Elliot felt relieved when he spotted a lone figure sitting in almost the exact same spot where he had been with Olivia the other day. As he hurried over to her, the closer he got, the more obvious it became that she was shivering. Not wanting to frighten her by appearing suddenly by her side, he called out to her as he approached.
"Olivia"
He watched as her shoulders sagged, and her head dropped forward. Clearly, she wasn't pleased with his arrival. There was nothing he could do about it now, he was just glad that she was safe. Coming to stand behind her, Elliot carefully draped the hooded sweatshirt he had brought around Olivia's shoulders, touching her as little as possible. To his surprise, she accepted the extra layer of warmth, and shrugged into the hoodie, slipping her arms inside the sleeves.
"Thank you. You can go now."
"Liv -"
"You found me Elliot. I'm obviously still conscious, so there is nothing for you to worry about. I told you I needed some time to myself, and that I'd be back when I was ready. Can you please respect that?"
Her voice had a sharp edge to it, and he'd be lying to himself if he'd have said her words hadn't stung. He didn't want to push her, but he couldn't help but be worried. When he tried to explain that though, he wasn't expecting it to backfire on him in such a big way.
"If you were that worried, you could have called me. You do remember how phones work, don't you? Oh, that's right – you don't."
Elliot recoiled as though he'd been slapped in the face. This was the reaction he'd anticipated when he'd first arrived. The venom that Olivia was spewing in his direction cut deep, but he tried to remind himself of what she'd been through – not just in the past year, but in the last several hours. Not to mention that he'd all but turned her life upside down again by showing up unexpectedly a few days ago. In his mind, she was entitled to be upset with him. Even so, that didn't mean he was willing to just leave her here alone. Not when she'd narrowly avoided a trip to the emergency room this morning.
Uncomfortable with leaving, but still wanting to give Olivia some space, Elliot moved a short distance down the beach before sitting down in the sand. This action did not go unnoticed, and only served to infuriate the brunette even more.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? I told you I wanted to be alone!"
"Then you can just pretend I'm not here, Olivia, because I'm not going anywhere. Less than three hours ago, you collapsed in my arms from a combination of dehydration, exhaustion, and over exertion! I'm willing to give you your space, but I'm not leaving you alone. I don't care how mad you get at me for it, either."
Olivia looked like she wanted to argue the issue further, then must have decided it wasn't worth the effort. Instead, she shifted and turned her back on him, returning her gaze back to the horizon over the ocean. As much as she hated to admit it, his presence did give her a sense a of security that she hadn't felt before – and she was able to give in to the thoughts that were consuming her and get lost in them for the first time in ages.
They'd been sitting there for over an hour, neither of them speaking, when Elliot finally made a decision. Clouds were hanging thick overhead, and the wind blowing in off the waves was growing more intense. He could smell the rain in the air, and after everything that had happened today, the last thing he wanted was for Olivia to get caught in it.
Pushing himself into a standing position, he crossed the sand to where she sat, calling to her as he approached. He pretended not to notice the way Olivia swiped at her eyes before focusing her gaze on him, not wanting to call attention to the fact that he knew she'd been crying.
"I don't mean to rush you, Liv, but it looks like it's going to start pouring any minute now. We should head back."
Olivia, who by now was even more weary than she had been earlier, nodded her head in agreement. All the fight from before had left her. Granted, she was still angry and frustrated with Elliot for having followed her, but she didn't have the energy to deal with it at the moment. When Elliot extended a hand to her to help her stand, she gratefully accepted. As soon as her hand was in his, Elliot gasped in alarm. Her fingers were like ice.
"Olivia! You're freezing! Why didn't you say something sooner?"
"I'm not cold."
Her voice was hollow, numb almost. He'd heard that tone before, but after the other events of the day, it only worried him more. He wanted to wrap his arms around her in the worst way, and pull her close to his body, but he didn't think she'd appreciate the gesture. Worse yet, he feared the contact might be triggering. The look in Olivia's eyes right now was distant, and it made him want to get her back to the cottage more than ever. It was clear whatever thoughts she'd been lost in while sitting out here had consumed her.
"Come on, when we get back to the cottage, I'll make you some hot tea."
Elliot didn't want to say what else was on his mind – that when they got back he wanted her to eat something again. That would surely bring Olivia's emotions back to the surface and incite her fury once more. The last thing he needed was her taking off again, just when the sky was about to open up. He'd save that conversation for when they were behind closed doors.
Without a word, they made their way back to the cottage, and no sooner than they had stepped inside and had shut the door behind them, the rain began to fall in earnest. More grateful than ever that he had convinced her to come back, Elliot turned his attention to trying to warm Olivia up further.
"Why don't you go have a seat? I'll bring you over some tea."
"Stop fussing over me!"
Olivia tore the hooded sweatshirt he had given her at the beach off herself, tossing it at him angrily. It hit Elliot square in the chest, falling to the floor before he could catch it. He was just so stunned at the outbursts he was witnessing today. Yes, he had expected her to be angry at him to a degree, but nothing to this extent.
"I'm going upstairs to my room to be alone. I can do that without you following me, can't I?"
Not sure what to say, Elliot found himself stammering a bit in his response.
"I...yes...of course. I never meant to intrude, Liv. I was just worried about you."
"I lived my life for three years without your worry. I don't need you reminding me now that you had to come to the rescue because you think I'm incapable of taking care of myself."
The words had an eerily familiar quality to them, and they hurt deeply. He remembered the time when he had shouted something similar to her in the heat of the moment. It had been in the aftermath of an incident during the Gitano case, eight years into their partnership. Olivia's throat had been slashed with a knife, and because he'd run to her first, an innocent child actually had been killed. The fallout from that had been extensive, and though they'd managed to get their dynamic back eventually, he couldn't help but wonder now if they'd ever fully recovered.
Olivia marched up the stairs, and the door to her room slammed shut behind her, emphasizing her anger. Elliot figured he'd give her some space as she had requested, but still couldn't stop the nagging sensations in his mind. Had he pushed her too far today? He didn't really feel that he had, but then again, he'd been known to be an asshole in the past. Considering that his first instinct this morning had been to rush her to the emergency room when she'd fainted, he felt he'd found a good alternative. What was he supposed to have done, just sat around and done nothing while he waited for her to wake up? Elliot realized that he never had actually explained things, but then again, he'd never gotten the chance. When he'd come downstairs after his shower hoping to talk, Olivia had been gone. Maybe he could have been more respectful of her wishes, and he supposed that had she not fainted only hours before, he likely would have been. Coupled with the fact that she'd left without any protection against the April temperatures, he still felt that his actions had been justified.
Maybe that was part of the problem, Elliot reasoned. It wasn't a matter of him being right or wrong. Once again, Olivia had had her control taken away from her. She'd set out to do something for herself, and he'd charged in like someone with a white knight complex attempting to rescue her. No matter what her state of mind was these days, it didn't negate the fact that Olivia was an adult. She deserved to be treated with respect, and not like a child. In trying so hard to take care of her, he'd inadvertently been attempting to parent her, and not treating her like the woman who had been his partner for thirteen years. Once again Cragen's words resounded in his ears.
The Olivia you know and love is still there, Elliot. Just remember that.
Heading upstairs, Elliot grabbed his tablet and brought it back to the living room. As he settled on the couch, a chime from his phone caught his attention. It was a text from Kathleen, who was on her lunch break at work. She was asking if he still wanted to have a video call later tonight. Without hesitation, he typed back his affirmative response. It would be good to talk to his daughter later. Yes, he'd undoubtedly have to field a few questions about Olivia, but he figured he could deflect those easily enough. He didn't want his children to find out what Olivia had been through if he could help it - for both her sake and theirs.
Logging on to his email, he noticed a message from Paul, who had been wondering where he'd gotten settled since he'd heard from him last. Feeling a bit overcome by guilt, Elliot realized that he'd failed to contact his friend ever since he'd left Florida the week before. Thankfully, Paul had just figured he'd been busy trying to find a place to live, and had not assumed the worst. He quickly typed out a reply, complete with his new – well, old - number, and promised he would be in touch soon.
Closing out his email, Elliot pulled up a digital copy of a book he'd been reading, and tried to focus. It wasn't an easy task, as his mind was still on Olivia, but he was going to try his best to give her some of the space that she'd asked for. If he didn't hear from her in a couple of hours, he would knock on her door and check on her. Plus, soon he would need to start figuring out what to plan for dinner. The soup he'd made the other day was all gone, and he needed to come up with another hearty but simple meal that would be easy for Olivia to eat.
By the time Elliot had read several chapters in his book, Olivia had yet to return. It was long past lunchtime now, and the clock was edging closer toward late afternoon. He hated to think about how she'd missed another meal. Wanting to check on her, but not wanting to make her angry, he remembered her words from the beach earlier today. Reaching for his phone, he sent a brief text message, even though they were only a floor apart.
You awake? I'm sorry about earlier, but I want to make it up to you. Can you come downstairs so we can talk?
Five minutes passed, then ten, with no response. With his concern increasing, Elliot climbed the steps to listen outside Olivia's bedroom door. It was possible that she had just fallen into a deep sleep when she'd gone into her room earlier, the day having taken its toll on her, but he wasn't taking any chances. Dialing her number, he brought the phone to his ear, and hoped she would answer. Instead, all he heard from beyond the door was a distant ringing noise – and nothing else.
Wrapping his palm around the doorknob, Elliot took a deep breath. He realized that what he was about to do amounted to a total betrayal – a complete invasion of privacy – but he couldn't turn off that feeling in his gut that was telling him something was wrong. Praying that she hadn't locked it, he sighed in relief as the latch gave way, and the door swung inward. As his eyes swept the scene in front of him, his relief quickly turned to dread. Just as when he'd returned to the lower level this morning, Olivia was nowhere to be found. Instead, the window on the far side of the room was open, curtains blowing in the breeze. Racing across the floor to peer outside, Elliot took note of the tree adjacent to the cottage, and deduced that Olivia must have climbed down the trunk to the ground before taking off into the unknown once more.
"Dammit, Olivia"
Elliot cursed under his breath as reality sank in that she was gone – again. Spying her phone sitting on the nightstand, he knew there would be no way of reaching her now. It was either repeat this morning's events of going out to look for her himself, or wait for her to come back on her own.
He was turning to head out of the room when he heard a sound of frustration, followed by a dull slapping sound. Turning around sharply, Elliot watched as one hand, then another appeared over the window's ledge.
"Liv!"
He shoved his phone into his pocket as quickly as possible, then rushed to the window, grabbing her wrists to assist her inside. Olivia cried out at the contact, and Elliot cursed himself immediately. He hadn't thought his plan through. However, considering she was dangling two stories above the ground, there was no time right now to apologize. Shifting his hold so he was grasping her just under the arms, he hoisted Olivia over the edge and into the room. Her feet were barely on the floor when she was shoving him away, her face a mask of fury.
"Elliot? What the fuck are you doing in my room?"
Elliot rubbed his palm over the back of his neck as he tried to find the words that would best explain his actions.
"It had been hours since I'd seen you. You didn't answer my text, you weren't answering your phone when I called you -"
"And what? You thought that gave you the right to just come barging into my personal space?"
For the first time since she'd set foot back inside the cottage, Elliot studied the woman standing across from him. Though to be fair, he hadn't had much time to study her before, because she'd been hanging outside of window! Pushing that thought aside, his eyes swept over her form. There wasn't a part of her that wasn't soaking wet, and her hair clung to her face and neck. Water was dripping from her body, pooling into puddles at her feet. She was shaking from head to toe, whether it was from cold or a lingering effect of the way he'd grabbed her so suddenly, he didn't know.
"Liv, you're soaked. Let me get you a towel so you can dry off and warm up."
"Just stop it! I told you this morning to stop fussing over me! Why couldn't you listen? I'm not one of your daughters!"
Despite his reminding himself to keep his temper in check, and that what she needed most was understanding, Elliot felt his own anger flare at that moment.
"No? You're sure as hell acting like one of them! Seriously, Olivia? Sneaking out a window? Maureen pulled that stunt when she was fifteen!"
"Get out."
Olivia's voice had gone deathly quiet, but there was an eerie quality behind her demand. Even though she was the one who was drenched and cold, it was Elliot who shivered. Almost immediately, he tried to make amends. The last thing he'd wanted was to provoke a fight with her.
"Liv, please. I'm sorry. Look, I'll leave you alone, okay? I'm going, and I won't step foot in your room again."
"I didn't mean get out of my room – I want you out of this house. I don't want you here anymore. This isn't going to work out. Go back to Florida with your kids where you belong."
As the words registered, Elliot's heart began to crack, on the verge of shattering into a million pieces. She couldn't possibly mean what she was saying. He'd upset her yes, but there was no way she would cut him out of her life, would she? Not after he'd just found her again.
"Liv, please -"
He tried again, desperate now, and not even caring if it sounded like he was begging. Truth be told, he was. He'd get on his knees if it would help Olivia understand just what she meant to him. Plus, there was no way he could ever walk away from her now, especially knowing what she'd been through. He'd never forgive himself. He still hadn't forgiven himself for having left the first time.
"And another thing – stop calling me 'Liv'. You lost the right to do that when you walked out of my life three years ago. Now I want you gone within the hour. You can leave your key on the kitchen counter."
With that said, she stalked past him, bending at the waist to grab a few items from an open suitcase on the floor. Then, without so much as a backward glance, she went into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. The click of the lock sounded so final, and Elliot found himself flinching involuntarily as a result.
Knowing there was no use trying to reason with Olivia in her present state, he decided he would have to do as she asked. Except for the part about going to Florida. There was no way he was going to leave her alone in Cape May, not in her present condition. If she wanted some space for a few days, he'd give it to her – albeit reluctantly. He'd find a nearby motel and stay there instead.
As he headed back into the bedroom that had only been 'his' for the span of a few days, he couldn't help but think to himself of how he had planned to unpack his belongings that night before going to bed. Hoping that sometime soon he'd get another chance, he shoved things back into his bags, then one by one carried them down the stairs and deposited them by the door. Making sure he didn't forget his tablet, he grabbed that from where it still rested on the coffee table, and packed that as well. Part of him wanted to wait until Olivia was out of the shower before leaving, but knew his presence wouldn't be welcome. With a heavy heart, he slipped the key to the cottage off his key ring and set it on the counter top, just as she had requested.
Elliot had just finished packing all the bags in the back of his SUV when he heard a voice calling to him. Turing to look over his shoulder, he saw Owen Winter approaching. The two men shook hands, and then Owen explained his presence.
"I was just coming over to check on Olivia, see how she's feeling after this morning. What's going on man? From what Don said, I thought you'd be here for the long haul."
Not sure what to say, especially to someone who was basically a stranger, Elliot fumbled for words. Then he watched as Owen's expression morphed into one of kindness and understanding. Though the man was at least five years younger than him, if not a few more, there was an unspoken bond there. No doubt it had been forged by their mutual service in the military. Though they had each been in different branches, that duty and honor was a quality they both upheld.
"I don't know Olivia personally, but Don always talked about her – and you. It's like you two are the kids he never had. He and Eileen were just getting settled when he took off back to New York, insisting that he was needed there. That's when he said that someone else would likely be living in the cottage for awhile."
Elliot was silent, unsure of what to say. But he was curious as to how much Owen knew of Olivia's story, so he nodded, indicating that the other man should continue.
"I'm not proud of it, but I looked up some of the news out of Manhattan. I don't know all the details, but I know she's been through hell. Even if I hadn't, I've been in enough combat zones in my life to know PTSD when I see it. She needs you now, more than ever."
Elliot felt something flare within him, but to his surprise, he wasn't angry – he just felt weary. Fighting back the emotion, he struggled to say the words, almost as though he still couldn't grasp the fact of what had happened less than forty five minutes ago.
"I'm not leaving willingly. She kicked me out. I hate to go, but I fear I'd only make it worse if I stayed right now."
Always perceptive, Owen immediately picked up on the 'right now' in Elliot's statement.
"You'll be back then?"
"Of course. I'm just going to give her a couple of days to cool off. She's in no condition to be left alone."
Scratching his chin, Owen thought something over, wondering if he was overstepping. He'd only met Olivia the other day, after all, and had just been introduced to Elliot this morning. But he wanted to help.
"I can look in on her, if you'd like. I'll give her the rest of today to herself, but tomorrow I can take over a covered dish or something. It will easily be seen as a 'welcome to the neighborhood' gesture. Plus I can use the excuse of checking in on her after what happened today."
"Thank you, that would be great. If there is an emergency, will you call me?"
"Of course. Plus, Don gave me a key, too. I look in on the house when he's away."
Shaking Owen's hand again, Elliot decided he'd better leave. The last thing he'd need would be for Olivia to look out the window and find him still here. Worse yet, she'd think he was conspiring to have the neighbor spy on her – even if that's basically what he was doing. Opening the driver's side door, he climbed in behind the steering wheel and put on his seat belt. Then with one last glance at the cottage, he backed out of the driveway, and headed toward town, fighting off tears as he drove away.
It wasn't until much later that night while Elliot was preparing for bed that something occurred to him. When he had been driving to the motel earlier, the skies had been clear. That meant that the rain that had fallen when they got back from the beach must have been short lived. How then, did that explain Olivia's drenched appearance when they had been standing in her bedroom? Ice began to spread through his veins as realization sank in. There was only one logical explanation, and the awareness of that made him want to drive back to the cottage right then and there, even though it was almost midnight. The only conclusion he could come to was that Olivia had to have walked into the ocean fully dressed – and far enough to have been able to submerge her head. With those images flooding his mind, Elliot knew he was in for yet another sleepless night.