Taylor Made Friends, part 4
The truck played "La Cucaracha" on its horn as it raced up the ramp out of Medhall's parking garage.
"Fucking Otto," grumbled Tammy as she glared at Doctor Curlyhair, who had been the one to push that button.
"What's this do?" asked Doctor Curlyhair as she reached over, grabbed the parking brake, then flipped the lever to the side to reveal a tiny red button.
"What?" asked Tammy, glancing down and then turning abruptly to avoid going over a curb. "Don't."
"DO IT!" called out Victoria from where she was flying alongside.
"DO IT!" seconded Dennis from the backseat.
"This cannot end well at all, alas alas," grumped Amy who would have denied having a little smile on her face as the truck squealed around and made a high speed dash for the street.
Doctor Curlyhair, not known for her self-restraint, pushed the button.
"Dixie" immediately played from a horn under the hood. This was simultaneous with a jump-jet operating to cause the truck to leap entirely over the next barricade, land on a high-end luxury SUV that may have belonged to someone in upper management, and then roar onwards to the street before the next track began playing.
"Just two good old boys, never meaning no harm," sang the stereo.
"Fucking Otto," repeated Tammy.
"Beats all you never saw, been in trouble with the law since the day they was born," continued the player until Tammy managed to turn it off.
"This gives me so VERY many ideas," said Doctor Curlyhair, her eyes seeming to light up behind her glasses with some unholy glee.
"Like I said. This cannot end well," stated Amy after picking herself off of Dennis' lap where she'd landed on the truck landing.
"Let's get dangerous," said Dennis, beginning a chain of events where his Trigger in several months would end with him having an entirely different power.
"I like the way you think," confessed Doctor Curlyhair, knowing the quote was familiar but not immediately placing it.
With a squeal of brakes, Tammy stopped at the next barricade - mainly because of all the cops with guns manning it.
"Officers!" declared Doctor Curlyhair, "we decided not to wait for rescue but escaped ourselves. I am, dramatic pause, DOCTOR CURLYHAIR, girl genius!" (Crack-a-boom.)
"Yes. We know who you are," said several police officers simultaneously.
"Most people don't SAY 'dramatic pause'," pointed out Amy as she got out herself. "Just saying."
"That was GREAT! Can we do it again?" asked Dennis.
"No," said a number of people, some more emphatically than others.
"Yes!" said Doctor Curlyhair, nodding to her fellow student. Encouraging others in the way of science, this was also part of her modus operandi. As of now if nothing else.
"I thought you had disabled that dramatic thunder thing," said Victoria as she landed.
"Oh, yeah, those guys switched it on when they were trying to find and grab all of my gadgets," said Doctor Curlyhair as she started tapping at her watch. "Forgot it was still running."
"How could you not notice dramatic thunder everytime you gave your name out?" asked Amy.
"Excuse me," said one of the officers. "Can we just get the identifications and processing over with? We've got enough on our hands just arresting all these Nazis."
"Fair point," said Doctor Curlyhair. "Can we keep the truck?"
"No. Besides, how do we know it isn't an Empire truck?" asked a police officer.
Doctor Curlyhair reached inside the truck to push a button. La Cucaracha briefly played on the horn.
"Fair point," admitted the officer. "Still going to have to go over it though."
* Meanwhile *
"I would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those meddling kids!" said Mrs Harcourt as she was being led away.
"Seriously?" asked one of the troopers.
"Well, no. I blame Hookwolf," admitted Mrs Harcourt. "Seriously, kidnapping a group of kids and bringing them back here? Sticking a Tinker anywhere near a machine shop? That boy not only got handed the idiot ball, he must have used it as a suppository."
The troopers looked at each other and nodded. Yeah, that did seem a bit lacking in sense.
"It's just that it seemed an appropriate phrase," said Mrs Harcourt.
"True. Doctor Curlyhair just needs a robot dog at this point," said one of the cops agreeably.
* PRT ENE HQ *
* Director Emily Piggot's office *
"We have Fenja and Menja in custody. They attacked Big O and were slapped to the side. Several broken bones, slight concussions."
Director Piggot raised an eyebrow. "I thought their abilities caused injuries to shrink to minor levels."
"Dragon calculated out the amount of force necessary to stop them and ramped it up to the known level of their mitigation."
"Ah," said Director Piggot. That did rather explain it.
"Alabaster was discovered, trapped in a stalled elevator. They are extracating him now. Othala was caught in the explosion of a very small tank. Victor has extensive ear damage and was knocked unconscious by an entire set of exploding tanks in a stairwell. Stormtiger and Rune are unaccounted for. Hookwolf was stepped on by Big O, Dragon has already filed the paperwork as she was driving it at that point."
Director Piggot thought just for a moment about saying something about him Nazi-ing that coming. Then decided to exclude Assault from more meetings because obviously he was a bad influence.
"Kaiser was ejected from the building and landed in a fountain. As he fell twenty stories into two feet of water, he has some fairly extensive injuries but somehow managed to survive. We're getting him out of his costume and cleaning up the glitter."
"'Glitter'?" asked Director Piggot.
"Yes, Director." Renick's face twitched as he suppressed the smile. This was serious damn it. "Apparently Doctor Curlyhair set up the exploding tanks with a rudimentary target-assessment program and high-profile targets got glitterbombed as well as simply bombed."
"Sometimes it is difficult to remember that Doctor Curlyhair is a child, and then something like that reminds you," said Director Piggot.
"Krieg and Crusader were both knocked out and are being treated for overdoses. We got to them with Narcan before full respiratory shutdown fortunately."
"They were doing drugs in all this?" asked Director Piggot.
"Exploding tanks in the drug supply and one connecting wall failing caused a large amount of fentanyl powder in the air of Stairwell 4 where they were making their way down to where the kids were being held."
"Ouch," quipped Director Piggot. Hoist by their own petard, if you stretched some definitions a bit.
"Cricket was trying to sneak out, and if she'd changed her clothing she'd have made it. Unfortunate for her and fortunate for us she was spotted and containment foamed," continued Renick.
"So, that leaves Purity, Stormtiger, Rune, Night, and Fog unaccounted for," said Director Piggot. "Let's get as many of them out of town as quickly as possible to avoid the inevitable attack to recover them. What about Doctor Curlyhair and the rest of the hostages?"
"They went to Doctor Curlyhair's lair as soon as they were cleared. Apparently she was inspired by something by this ordeal."
Director Piggot considered that and the ramifications. "Well. Shit."
"Indeed."
* Doctor Curlyhair's Lair *
"Hold that there."
"What's that gadget?"
"Molecular welder. Shifts molecules around to perfectly join two pieces of anything inorganic as if they'd always been part of the same thing."
"Sounds interesting," admitted Igor/Dennis.
"Armsmaster and Dragon both want one themselves. Can't blame them. Damn handy. Okay, you can let go."
"What is it you're building?" asked Tammy as she wandered around the room. Getting a good idea of the Tinker's abilities and limitations would look good to the others when they inevitably broke out of jail.
"Emergency shield generator," stated Doctor Curlyhair. "Push the button, drop, forcefield goes until the batteries give out."
"That's amazing!" said Glory Girl. "That would be so handy. How long do the batteries last?"
"Two minutes. It's kind of power intensive," said Doctor Curlyhair.
"That's all?" asked Amy as she checked out some of the other rooms.
"Hey, that's two minutes more than without. Think about that in an Endbringer fight," stated Glory Girl. "How much of an impact can it take during those two minutes?"
"The harder the hit, the faster it'll deplete the batteries," said Doctor Curlyhair. "It'll take one anti-tank round. Anything harder than that it'll just reduce the impact as it fails. Still, better than nothing."
"No flying cars?" asked Dennis.
"I've got Tachikoma Green going through the regulations to see if I can find a way to do it," admitted Doctor Curlyhair.
"You." Amy sounded furious as she came out of another room. Or stressed. Or she could be both. Really, it was difficult to tell with Amy.
"Me?" asked Doctor Curlyhair.
"Yes. You." Amy pointed.
"Me." Doctor Curlyhair sounded very uncertain.
"You have a Bacta Tank." Amy continued pointing towards a door she'd just come out of.
"Yes?" asked Doctor Curlyhair, still not seeing the point.
"You make artificial limbs," said Amy, still sounding very irritated and indicating a second door.
"Well, yes," said Doctor Curlyhair, still not seeing the point and feeling a bit defensive at this point.
"Why aren't you making this technology available at the hospital?" demanded Amy.
"Laws. Regulations." Doctor Curlyhair shrugged. "Lawyers."
"Lawyers?" asked Amy.
"Lawyers," confirmed Doctor Curlyhair.
Amy growled several things under her breath and went back to the medbay.
"What was that about?" asked Dennis.
"Lawyers," repeated Doctor Curlyhair. "Even if Mannequin or the Simurgh doesn't get involved, any attempt to improve the world gets bogged down in court, lawyers start lawyering, people start looking to get money by bringing lawsuits out just on the rumor of a new technology, and things stall out. Honestly, about the only thing that isn't getting negative feedback from the PRT's Legal Department is the Comfy Chair."
"The 'Comfy Chair'?" asked Dennis. "What does that do?"
"Automatically determines how you're sitting, scans muscle and nerve groups, adjusts to the person sitting on it, applies heat or massaging action at the push of a button, and can adjust hardness of the cushions to user preference," said Taylor. "I made one for Father's Day and Armsmaster saw it and immediately wanted a set for some people at the PRT. Then the Legal Department contacted me about getting six more for themselves."
"It's an AI?" asked Dennis.
"No, that'd be weird," said Doctor Curlyhair.
"True," admitted Dennis.
"Now, if you'd stand still a moment, I had a brilliant idea!" stated Doctor Curlyhair.
"Does it involve those spinny little spark wheels, bubbling flasks, and big damn knife switches?" asked Dennis.
"No... but now that you mention it, those would improve the atmosphere a bit," admitted Doctor Curlyhair. She immediately added them to her shopping list.
"So we can't have flying cars because of lawyers?" asked Dennis.
"Also, I swear there must be someone in government who has a license fetish," grumbled Doctor Curlyhair. "Maybe lots of someones."
"That would explain a lot," said Dennis.
"Doctor, I made tea," said Tachikoma Green. "Also those little dunking cookies you like."
"Well done, Green!" exclaimed Doctor Curlyhair. "See if you can get something for my guests as well. There's science to be done!"
* Tammy/Rune *
This was all intel gold.
Hookwolf had screwed up badly, but by observing the fallout and watching as things developed, she could gather information for when the Empire Strikes Back. She had A New Hope that the current reversal of fortune would itself reverse.
Otto was, apparently, NOT a police informant. He saw nothing, he heard nothing, and he knew nothing. He didn't just look like Sergeant Schultz from that old TV series - he apparently lived the part. And was currently arrested and waiting trial and was having a miserable time sitting in a jail cell away from his listening to weird music and opera and other crap.
So Weird Old Otto was just weird. And fairly clueless. You could hit him with a clue by four and he'd just ignore it as none of his business. Good to know.
Meanwhile Ms Harcourt was every bit as much of a "company before all" hardass sort as she'd always come across as. She wouldn't hesitate to throw anyone under any bus if it saved Medhall.
Meanwhile she was getting a good idea of what "Doctor Curlyhair" was capable of. Which was a lot.
She opened a door and stopped, then licked her lips nervously as she eased into the room.
Doctor Curlyhair had a garage.
Doctor Curlyhair had a garage with an old pickup truck that had been obviously modded out.
Doctor Curlyhair had a partially-constructed mini-giant-robot.
Tammy blinked. Okay, did that make it a normal but big robot? A medium-sized robot? Was this like a 'jumbo shrimp' just one of those phrases that made no sense at all? Mini-Giant-Robot after all...
And there was that Big O robot and two people climbing said big robot dude.
Huh, black girl and some redhead. Were they working for Curlyhair?
* Sophia *
Sneak into the lair when all these other people were doing stuff? Easy.
She and Emma could go on a rampage in Big O and Taylor effing Hebert would take the blame. That was Emma's plan at least.
Sophia wasn't so sure that would work, and was inclined to give Hebert some slack for getting Nazis off the street, but Emma had talked her into it.
Yeah, there, access panels were open for repair. Cockpit area was sealed tight.
"Go ahead. Go through it and open it from the inside," hissed Emma.
She did, they'd come this far, but something was still making her hesitate.
"Okay," said Emma, settling into the seat and reaching for the controls. "This will teach her her place."
Systems began coming up as Sophia watched and it all seemed to be going fine.
[Cast In The Name Of God, Ye Guilty.]
That... did not sound good.
As a veritable storm of cables began shooting out of damn near everything, Sophia flipped her mask into place and phased through things on her way out. That it started getting more and more difficult, as if she were going through hardening molasses, merely pointed out that they were way way over their head.
That didn't matter as much as the panic in Emma's scream that went muffled and stopped.
Yeah. She needed to get help, now.
* Tammy *
Shadow Stalker running out of the giant robot's cockpit was another bit of information to take to Kaiser when they broke out.
The lighting in the garage had turned red and there was an alarm sounding.
The smart thing to do, decided Tammy, was to stand exactly where she was and observe things. That way, whatever was happening, she was not in anyone's way.
That scream, abruptly cut off, from the now-open section of the big robot. Yeah. That was a big old darn 'Do Not Get Involved' sign.
* Doctor Curlyhair *
"Someone tried to hotwire Big O," said Doctor Curlyhair over the phone.
"How can you hotwire a giant robot?" asked Dennis.
"You can't, hence the 'try'," said Curlyhair to Dennis before turning her attention back to the phone. "Looks like two parts of my past caught up to me. Not sure why. No. No, I put in a 'stop' so she's just wrapped up and not having a new set of piercings. Because in the original Big O she would have been skewered repeatedly and end up less in need of medical attention and more like a mop and bucket. Yes. You're welcome."
Dennis made a face at the mental image he came up with for that.
"I'm currently watching the monitor," said Doctor Curlyhair. "One's a parahuman who went through the defenses in place. These might be the two from the other day that the Tachikoma watched getting chased by a mob. Yes. I only know she's a parahuman because she's wearing a mask and keeps going to some shadow-state that allows her to pass through solids. Also shows signs of decreased mass in that state. Yes. Why wouldn't I have cameras and a full suite of sensors in my garage? You're on the way? Good. See you then Armsmaster."
"Tinkers have their own set of problems I see," opined Dennis.
"What do I want to do with Emma?" asked Doctor Curlyhair. "I mean, seriously, this is twice now she's apparently decided to do something to me and she's dragging some vigilante cape into it. This has got to stop. I see I've got to take drastic steps."
"What are you going to do?" asked Dennis. "Turn her into a wheel of cheese? Put a radio locating collar on her? Install a control module into her brain so anytime she comes near you she can only think about the Muppet Show?"
"I was thinking about just having someone call her parents, but go on, I'm sure you can come up with something really creative," said Doctor Curlyhair, writing those down.
"Oh," said Dennis. "Well, your specialty is making friends, right? How about a Friendship Beam?"
"That would never work," responded Doctor Curlyhair immediately. "To create a 'Friendship Beam' I'd need to... and then I'd... hmmmm."
"Yes?" asked Dennis.
"No no no, it'd get banned by the PRT so fast," said Doctor Curlyhair. "A beam effect that alters neurochemistry to produce a mellowing effect by stimulating the receptor sites associated with relaxation and induces feelings of pleasant association. It'd be considered a Master effect and regulated all to hell."
"Sounds interesting," admitted Dennis.
"But wait," mused Doctor Curlyhair as she began writing notes frantically. "What if I... and if I did that... then it wouldn't be a Friendship Beam but maybe a 'Stop That' Cannon? Neuro interrupt? Sensors to check chemistry and fine-tune..."
Dennis motioned to Tachikoma Green. Sounded like they needed a donut run.