AN: Fifth chapter and I even made some cover art for it. Kind of proud it. May update that image later, we'll see. Aside from that, I hope you're ready for some expanding character relationship/interaction branches to the story tree!

I MAKE COMICS! FEEL FREE TO SUPPORT ME AND THE OTHER CONTENT CREATORS DOING THIS!

h- t- t- p- s- : / / p- a- t- r- e- o- n- c o m / Serendipitous_House_Pet?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Just get rid of the spaces and - around the word and you should be able to reach. Seriously, fuck this site's way of handling links.

Public Discord Server! It's discord h_t_t_p_s : / / discord . g g / EJ2BJFEMC5 Come join us, we have movie nights!

Twitter: _S_H_P_ and Addict_Attic (NSFW), Insta: 1_s.h.p_1, Deviantart: AQuickSeriesOfWords, Pixiv: Attic_Addict

I take commissions if you want. 1000 words for just $15, 10% plus if private. Email me.

XXX

"Yeah, that's how it's done!" Blitzo shouted in celebratory fashion before he grabbed Moxxie by the face while Millie laughed before spiking her dagger into the ground like a football, "see, that's how you get the kill!"

"You only got lucky because the bear showed up," Moxxie pointed out. Though he had to fight a smile from spreading on his face. It was pretty funny the way that got absolutely slathered in honey and salmon meat.

Blitzo dropped him and smirked, "I'm so good nature does it for me, thank you for understanding! And just before closing time."

At the desk, Loona was napping with two bottles of empty liquor next to her. Millie immediately nudged her chair, "hey, wake up, we're back!"

"Huh… oh," Loona yawned, "can we go home now?"

"Yep!" Blitzo started picking up some of his horse toys, "I would schedule another company night out, but someone feels the need to work for the man!"

"She's a woman," Moxxie deadpanned as he packed up.

Blitzo shook his head, "And my point still stands firm and erect!"

"Whatever makes you feel morally superior, sir," Moxxie shrugged before he started walking out after Millie, "I'll see you all tomorrow!"

Only Millie really said bye back. Blitzo was still fuming and Loona shrugged. The moment Moxxie walked out only to be immediately spotted by the Succubus and Incubus right as Millie took one of the fire exit doors. The elevator was broken… again. So, he had to take the stairs with Millie.

But he was stopped the moment the lust demons glanced at him, they started their catcalls and cooing, save for Verosika.

"Did you have a good day at work, widdle buddy," The succubus with an Afro. Coco, as he heard her name once.

"Yes, ma'am," he just wanted to carry on with his night.

"Aw, he's so proper," giggled the more… lithe one, Kiki. The rest started laughing.

"Enough," but Verosika cut them off, "he works for Blitzo, that's plenty to deal with as it is."

A part of him wanted to say something on Blitzo's behalf. There's more to him than that but… he knew better. And he understood that Blitzo did something horrible in this case. So, now wasn't it. He just walked off and let it go, grateful she wasn't tormenting or teasing him like the rest.

"Oh hey!" She greeted him before finishing her texts.

"Oh, hello Millie," Moxxie started walking down with her, "thought you'd be gone by now,"

"Oh no, I'm gettin' a ride. Someone owes me some favors," Millie had a mischievous smirk on her face. And a it was also a little bloodthirsty, "let's just say, I put on a good disappearin' act."

"I bet," Moxxie chuckled, "you always seem pretty cheerful. I'm glad someone enjoys working here too."

"Heaven yeah!" Millie fist pumped, "Blitzo's actually the first boss I've ever had!"

That hid the thespian like a ton of bricks, 'You poor woman…'

"Look at him, walking his fat ass down to that dingy hotel," Blitzo and Loona, meanwhile, stayed in the office at the farmer's request. He wanted to discuss something Important with his employee. He was watching his employees leave.

"What, you're upset cause this is the day you plan to spy on him," Loona snorted. When Blitzo said nothing, she angrily groaned, "oh my Satan, get a hobby!"

That got his attention and he retorted with a tone of hurt, "Hey, I have lots of hobbies and I try to share them with you!"

"I'd rather you fuckin' not," Loona grumbled as she went back to hell phone.

But her surrogate father got an idea, "Hey, whaddya say to a little father daughter bonding time?"

"If I say no, you're gonna bitch and moan, so whatever," the Hellhound grunted with frustration.

Blitzo immediately grabbed her and cooed, "that's the spirit!"

"You're weird!"

XXX

Loona was Impressed, frightened, and even grossed out at Blitzo's ability to just be able to get places. Especially when it came to stalking them. And he took so much pride in it too from just looking at the smirk on his face. And he only used a pair of binoculars which was scary to think about.

Imagine if he could afford more…

"And just like that, right on time," Blitzo licked his lips as he watched Moxxie get round the corner to that coffee place he usually went to, "little prude is probably ordering his usually over complicated as hell drink as we speak!"

Gonna shuddered, "you have had way too much practice doing this…"

Blitzo nodded, "Trust me, one day, you will too."

That made Loona cringe and she whisper shouted, "never… never!"

"That's the spirit, Loony - wait!" Blitzo took note of Moxxie already leaving the coffee shop, "Fucker's goin' off his schedule…

"Aaaa-"

Blitzo immediately went to his phone and, oddly enough, answered it, "What, what, what the fuck!?"

"Hi, Blitzy!" Loona recognized Stolas' voice immediately. That flirty, noble one was unmistakable.

"Son of -, bad timing, Stolas!" Blitzo growled, still making sure to keep his eyes on his employee.

"D'aaww, but I wanted to talk," Stolas coyly told him. Blitzo just pictured Stolas rubbing up and down his leg with a finger. And that was the least bit of it.

"Save your pillow talk for someone else right now," Blitzo gestured for him and Lonna to move forward as they watched Moxxie make his way to wherever he was going, "I am busy."

"O-oh, I just wanted to see how your… day was going and-"

Blitzo didn't let him finish nor did he acknowledge Stolas' flustered stutter, "Fine, now call back when it's business or sex!"

If he paid attention, he would've heard an oddly dejected sigh escape the goetia's mouth, "Okay, Blitzy!"

"Finally," Blitzo rolled his eyes, "I swear Loona, all that guy wants is a cheap thrill…"

"Whatever, didn't ask," Loona deadpanned.

"It's like I'm the flavor of the month, I swear," Blitzo sounded a little more bemoaning than outright annoyed.

"Okay, Da-Blitz, I get it." Loona muttered, starting to feel a little bad, only for that feeling to quickly dissipate once Blitzo gave her his puppy dog eyes, "ugh."

He noticed Moxxie now waiting for a bus and pulled out some clothes from… his pockets? "Come on, that fat ass is getting on the bus, here, put on this disguise!"

"Whatever," Loona didn't feel like asking or fighting it…

Quickly doning on the outfits, they rushed over, Blitzo more so pulling Loona over like a chImp, to the bus stop and waiting beside Moxxie. He didn't even notice them. He was too preoccupied with his latte.

Blitzo turned to Loona and lowered his shades, winking at her. If he could see past her thick fake beard and shades, he would've seen the most uncomfortable glare ever witnessed.

XXX

"Why the fuck is this hill so damn big," Loona complained. If she were being honest, this wasn't straining her physically at all. Her and Blitzo had long legs, but Loona being a Hellhound meant this was nothing, but she wanted to make it clear she hated this as much as she could, "there's no way the view is worth it."

"Princess Charles or whatever is big on scenery I hear" Blitzo reasoned before shrugging, "or some fluffy bullshit, I don't know. I don't really care. What I do care about is the fact that Moxxie is spending time there when he could be doing better things!"

Loona rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I noticed."

"Hush, Loony, we're here!" Blitzo put his index finger against his muzzle and pointed at the hotel. An oddly grand structure for something so belittled, but what else from Lucifer's own flesh and blood. He quickly grabbed Loona and they hopped into the nearby bushes, "Huh… looks better than when I last saw it…"

Suddenly, Loona got chills up her spine. Something felt off and it made her shiver. And it was never cold in the Pride Ring.

"There he is," She turned to see Blitzo locking onto Moxxie like a hawk into a mouse, "look at him, he never dressed up like that for our job!"

"He's got a dorky ass chef's hat on," Loona deadpanned.

"It's about the thought of it, Loony," Blitzo mumbled as he watched the small Imp knock. He seemed oddly fidgety as the door opened. Blitzo's eyes slowly opened up as he saw who exactly opened the door for him, "holy shit, that's the strawberry pImp!"

"The what? Gimme those!" Loona snatched his binoculars and almost felt herself choke up before she whisper shouted, "That's the fucking Radio Demon!"

"I like my name better," Blitzo muttered as he kept eyes on that spot, "but names aside, this is really bad. Why the fuck would Moxxie work in the same place as that psycho? That freak eats people and not in a hot way!"

Suddenly, neither Blitzo nor Loona felt at all too safe. In fact, the shadows below seed to get… darker. Too dark.

Away from them, Alastor's smile grew wider, "by the way, Moxxie, do you happen to always have an entourage with you?"

Moxxie scrunched his face up in confusion, "I'm sorry, sir?"

Alastor's eyebrows raised and he chuckled, "Oh, so you don't know about your little fellows crawling around in the bushes over there?"

"What!?" He turned behind him to see two hell borns in giant overcoats and beards hanging up by Alastor's shadow tendrils, "Hey, those are the homeless men from the bus stop!"

"Hmm… homeless, possibly. Men?" Alastor turned them upside down and their disguises fell off, revealing Blitzo and Loona, practically sweating bullets, "That depends,"

Moxxie gawked for a few seconds until his brain rebooted. His teeth clenched until he shouted, "What the actual fuck is wrong with you!?"

"I should be saying the same to you, Moxxie!" Blitzo shouted back, but not with anywhere near as much fury. He was then dropped on his head, "Argh! Dammit!"

Moxxie turned to the Hellhound and hissed, "And Loona!? I actually expect somewhat better out of you!"

"Fuck off, he dragged me here!" Loona growled only to get dropped on her head too, "Argh! Dammit!"

Alastor laughed before ruffling Moxxie's hair, "So, you are acquainted? That's a shame, I was going to personally introduce myself to them, but I suppose a mere "how do ya do" will suffice!"

"Terrible!" Blitzo immediately strolled up angrily and started poking Moxxie's chest, "why are you working and living under the same place as… well, him!" He turned to Alastor and angrily replied, "Also, hello, don't kill my daughter or me!"

"uh, daughter by adoption," Loona muttered, keeping her distance from Alastor.

"My, they're both quite charming," Alastor tittered.

"Yes, as charming as a bag of spiders and scorpions," Moxxie was fuming a little. Spying on him was one thing. Spying on him at his other job was immensely aggravating. Behind him, the other residents of the hotel were walking up to see what was going on, "Alastor, I changed my mind, please kick them away before-"

"Moxxie, is this your other boss? And his daughter!?" Charlie immediately rushed up beside Moxxie and Alastor.

Blitzo immediately glared at Moxxie, "were you talking shit about me!? I will kill you!"

"Oh no, I'm gonna kill you-"

"You mean his Hellhound, right?" Nifty asked, interrupting Moxxie mid threat. While she didn't mean to ask the way she did, obviously that's not how Loona and Blitzo saw it, hence their glares at her.

"Oh no, come on," Moxxie muttered as he started rubbing his temples.

"I'm so happy to meet you in person," Charlie rushed up to start shaking Blitzo's hand, shaking him up and down, "you must be a really savvy person to run your own business like that!"

Granted, she didn't like his business, but she'd just focus on one thing at a time… for now.

"I, uh, yeah, thank you," Blitzo cleared his throat and put his angry face back in, trying stay angry despite the big praise from what suspected was a sImple Sinner, "but I just came to check on my employee-"

"Stalk. You came to stalk me," Moxxie growled, "just admit it."

"And see what so good about your little hotel for porn addicts," Blitzo continued on.

"Hotel for Sinners to be redeemed," now Vaggie was stepping forward, giving him a judgemental glare, "Blitzo, right? From the assassination commercial?"

Blitzo folded his arms and sassily replied, "Yes, she just said it here… wait, who are you!"

"Oh sorry, I'm Charlie Morningstar!" Loona and Blitzo eyes nearly bugged out of their heads as they were in the presence of the princess of all of hell herself. They completely forgot about all that in the midst of this entire situation.

And then the gray one spoke, "And I'm Vaggie."

"Ahahahaha!" Blitzo laughed, "Wait, you were serious, let me laugh a little harder, ahahahaha!"

Behind them, Husk cringed and took a sip of his absinthe, "I'm not drunk enough for this…"

"I am, this looks like it could be entertaining," Angel Dust giggled, all while keeping Nifty back from glamping Moxxie so he could watch more uninterrupted.

"Haha… okay, I'm done," Blitzo finally calmed and snorted out, "anyway, Moxxie, since I'm here, why not show me around?"

"Sure! How about we start with the door!?" Moxxie began with an overly cheerful tone. He patted down the large door and smiled, "Here you go, nice isn't it!? Now that you've seen that, you can go home!"

Charlie patted his shoulder and gave him a sympathetic smile, "Hey now, I'm fine with them seeing the place, it's always nice to have more people interested."

Loona noticed Charlie's tone and her use of the word people when it came to her and Blitzo. It made her raise a brow and mutter, "huh."

Moxxie shook his head and rapidly said, "No, no, no please, Blitz is-"

"More than fuckin' happy to see the place!" the Imp interrupted, wrapping Loona and Moxxie in a one armed hug, Loona rolling her eyes and Moxxie glaring, "I mean, it's basically visiting his place anyhow."

As they started being led in, Alastor smirked at Moxxie and chuckled in a low tone, "You hellborn sure do know how to make things lively, don't you?"

Moxxie's lip trembled and he muttered, "No…"

"First off, Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!" Charlie shouted in a sing-song voice, "and woah, I've been saying a lot lately. Feels great!"

"More than you should be…" Husk grumbled.

Vaggie sighed and played her part, gesturing to the other demons Blitzo and Loona didn't talk to, "And since you already know Alastor and Moxxie, here's the rest of the crew. Our maid Nifty, barkeeper Husk, and resident Angel Dust… but you probably already knew about him. You seem like the type."

"Damn straight," Blitzo replied with a smirk and tongue poke.

"You guys got any hard liquor?" Loona asked as she immediately strolled up to the bar, uncaring for the rest of the place.

"That depends," Husk shrugged, "Yeah. You of age?"

"That matters?" Loona quirked a brow in skepticism.

Husk narrowed his eyes, "Yeah, here."

Loona shrugged and showed her ID. Behind her, Nifty walked up to Blitzo with her eye gazing at him with the same intensity as she did Moxxie.

"You sound like a bad boy too," she huskily growled, "you both can have me!"

Blitzo smirked and nudged Moxxie's arm, "Ya hear that, Mox? Thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Does it involve you drowning?" The shorter Imp hissed in an already tired tone.

Blitzo nudged him against and smirked, "Oh yeah, we're on the same wavelength."

"Don't touch me."

"Well, since we're all names, sex, and shit, I'm Blitzo and the O is silent," He introduced himself.

"Then why have it?" Husk asked as he poured Loona something hard.

Blitzo laughed, "You know, these guys don't seem so bad!"

"Glad you like them, go home," Moxxie deadpanned as he started shoving Blitzo out.

"What's all the hullabaloo?" a familiar voice asked as the sounds of footsteps echoed from the top of the stairs, "Hello, Moxxie… oh, didn't think they'd come too."

"Ruth? Why are you here? Not that I'm not glad to see you again, I assumed it be at the grocery store or the fake police station," Moxxie immediately walked over to her they shook hands and he continued, "but then again, of all the Sinners to be here, it makes sense you'd be here."

"Oh, so it's cool seeing her again," Blitzo grumbled.

Moxxie's head almost turned at a one eighty angle and he hissed, "because she's not a stalker, sir."

Ruth cleared her throat and clarified, "Well, I took up your advice and decided to come here."

"And I needed to give you a big hug for it!" Charlie cheered, immediately rushing up and taking Moxxie up in a massive bear hug, "Thanks to you, we're going to make a difference for even more people!"

If anyone paid attention, they would've noticed a twitch at Vaggie's lips. It stemmed from a little jealousy, but not the romantic kind, 'the hitman is making himself actually useful and I'm…'

"Can't breathe!" Moxxie hissed.

Vaggie broke from her thoughts and gently reminded Charlie, "remember when we talked about watching your strength."

"Sorry," Charlie nervously laughed as she let the Imp down.

"How the hell does fatty actually get to know so many other demons," Loona muttered as she drank at the bar. She wouldn't admit, but she was starting to get a little jealous and peeved over Moxxie's social life.

Angel Dust was moving in to have a drink himself when he heard Loona say that.

"Fat?" he asked before looking at Moxxie. Then he looked below his belt and whistled, "Oh shit, I see it now. That's juicy."

"Don't be gross near me," Loona grunted with disgust.

"Heh, I should be asking you that," Husk continued on with the topic of Moxxie and friends, "just hope he doesn't make friends with the wrong crowd."

"If he does, he better not be around me. It's his business, not mine or his," Loona shrugged.

"Fair enough," Husk agreed.

It's not like they were his friends. They were just along for the ride. But at least that ride had booze on it.

"Oh, let me show you Moxxie's room!"

"Ma'am, no! Anything but that!"

XXX

Millie was whistling a tune and cleaning off her freshly used shiv. Just another lovely night in Pride's large ass city. It almost reminded her of home, except what you were stabbin', outside of Imp city, got back up. She had a nice apartment set up in the district's more… mixed area.

She didn't mind Sinners too much. They were interesting to kill, a real challenge for the country gal. Especially the ones who had abilities tied to whatever the hell they turned into. That was some good wrestling right there.

But she was a little bummed the karaoke place was down, "I was totally gonna kill that California song. Ah well."

There was a loud explosion not too far off from where she was walking. Nothing to really worry about, that was usual. But, there was something different about this explosion as a scream was coming straight towards her.

"Aaaaaargh-oof!" And it landed in a black, red, and gold heap in front of her, "uuugh…"

"Hey," Millie slowly narrowed her eyes before she snapped her fingers and smiled, "aren't ya that snake feller who builds all them cool ass guns and blImps?"

"No… not anymore," Sir Pentious mumbled as he slowly picked himself off the ground and sniffled, "someone told me I was… I was… mediocre!"

As he started bawling, Millie couldn't help but recoil a little. Not necessarily out of disgust, though his snot and tears didn't help, but because he didn't like seeing someone be so pathetic when they should be pretty cool.

"Hey, hey, hey now, there's no need for them water works," Millie tried to placate the crying Sinner.

"B-but I'm mediocre!" Sir Pentious whined as he curled up, "Do you know h-how many people I killed on my lassst ssspree!?"

"How m-"

"Only fifteen!" Sir Pentious bawled louder, "And technically fourteen sssince one victim wasss a conjoined twin!"

"Hey, hey now! That's a great number of people to kill!" Millie meant that too. How many Sinners actually made fifteen kills in one setting. And yes, conjoined twins were double points in her eyes, "Honestly, what even stopped you?"

Sir Pentious pulled himself together enough to speak clearly, "M-my enemy Cheri Bomb, but usually my main rival Alassstor as of late. Thisss wasss three timesss thisss week he'sss beaten me, and two for misss Cheri Bomb."

"Holy shit!"

"I know, I'm ssso inadequate!" Sir Pentious bawled again for Millie to pull him up by his shoulders.

"Hey, enough of that! Listen sug!" She slapped the tears of his face and smiled, "you're not mediocre! I've seen you on the news and Voxtogram, yer fan-fucking-tastic!"

"Really? What makes you sssay so?" Sir Pentious was only sniffing now, eager to hear what Millie had to say. No one has ever praised him before since he was alive.

"You're fighting Alastor, right? And I've seen how tough that one eyed bombardier is," Millie let him go and smirked, "I think that should speak for itself. And I've seen them weapons ya cook up. Like I said, they're fucking cool."

"I sssee," Sir Pentious went wide eyed before cringing, "are you, as the more debaucherousss sssay, coming on to me."

And that made Millie cringe, "No."

"Okay, jusssst checking," Sir Pentious nervously laughed, deciding to focus more on the compliments to his pride before the slight wound, "anyway, I must express my gratitude, miss~?

"Millie. You can just call me Millie," She held out her hand and he shook it.

"Thank you, Millie," Sir Pentious then puffed out his chest and his irises sharpened, "now I'm off to commit crime! Ahahahaha!"

He rounded the nearest corner and pulled out his laser gun. Suddenly, a man screamed while Sir Pentious laughed in the background, "Agh, my leg!"

"Cool guy," Millie muttered before she chuckled to herself, "him and Moxxie."

XXX

"Holy shit, this is bigger than my room," Blitzo yelled as he ran to the bed and jumped on it, "talk about moving up in the world, hey Mox?"

"You keep your hands where I can see them!" the Imp immediately shouted, slapping Blitzo's hand from touching his cabinet.

"Relax, I don't have time to bug the place yet," Blitzo muttered as he rubbed the top of hos hand.

"Oh come on," if Moxxie counted the number of times he had to groan already, he'd might find himself in the triple digits, "can you ever at least feign some form of normalcy?"

"Bug the place," Charlie asked with an uncomfortable glance around the room.

"Standard procedure I like to do with my employees," Blitzo explained like it was normal, "really boosts comradiere and all that crap."

"Yeah, so that's a big no," Vaggie was really feeling the need to crack her knuckles. She nudged Moxxie and asked, "are hellborn bosses always so..."

"The word you're looking for is annoying," Moxxie said through his grit teeth before he calmed down, "I was hoping I wouldn't have to say this in front of Blitzo but… he's a lot more bearable than many other bosses."

Blitzo perked up with his puppy eyes, asking, "D'aaww, Moxxie, are you finally coming onto me?"

"But that doesn't mean I don't think about giving him cement shoes," Moxxie immediately hissed, making a strangling motion.

"The hell would I do those?" Blitzo went eyed and rubbed the back of his head as it came to him, "Oh wait, you mean the drowning kind."

"And when I sleep tonight, I'll only be able to dream about you wearing them!" Moxxie finished as his fists clenched.

Blitzo only wiggled his eyebrows, "And nothing else?"

"Can he go now!?" Moxxie was clearly about a few seconds away from throwing him out himself.

"Okay, I think that concludes the tour!" Charlie recognized that Moxxie's limits were rightfully getting pushed and decided it was a good time to spare him a headache, "You and your daughter should get going, hehe!"

"Alright fine," Blitzo shrugged and got off of Moxxie's bed, "I'll grab Loona and head out… but you sure I can't stay for some dinner."

Vaggie was about to just throw him out until she noticed Charlie looking at Moxxie. Sure, Charlie could just throw him out, but that wasn't her style. Second, Blitzo did seem like Moxxie's… friend, alongside being his boss. She wanted him to call it since he was Moxxie's guest.

"Dinner then get out," Moxxie sighed, though his tone was considerably lighter. Moxxie mentally kicked himself for his moment of weakness but… he did have a soft spot. Well many, but that's besides the point.

"I knew he really liked me," Blitzo giggled.

But Moxxie immediately retorted, finger in his boss's face, "Push it and you get nothing but cat food."

Blitzo hummed, "Gourmet or store brand?"

Charlie and Vaggie cringed at that. Moxxie stifled an incoming aneurysm.