Resisting the urge to check his phone, Johnny went through his mental exercise to stay calm and not tap his feet or do anything to embarrass his mother. Not only was he in downtown LA, again, but in an office building which had been rented out for the day. The thought of seeing his extended family and having to listen to his mean Aunt's will was bad enough, but the sculpture in the lobby was some kind of modern art that looked like a pile of spaghetti that was sticking its tongue out at him.
"A magnificent copy don't you think?" Asked a man's voice on the other side of the red, enameled ceramic mess. "It was the talk of Paris when it was released, a vision of the Gordian Knot that displayed scenes from the life of Alexander in the gaps. What do you see from your angle?" Coming around the statue, Johnny got a good look at the man's black and blond-streaked hair, looking very much like a skunk.
"I see a joke." Said Johnny. "It's making a face at me and everyone else who looks at this stupid thing."
"Hmm," tilting his head from side to side, the man gave Johnny a polite tap in order to get the right viewing angle. Though leaner in frame, Johnny felt that this fellow was every bit as strong as he was. "Ah, I see what you mean. Clever. Droll, but clever. Brandon Bravo, I don't believe we have met." Brandon kept both hands behind his back and leaned forward ever so slightly, which made it was clear that this was no normal introduction.
"The name's Bravo, hya! Johnny Bravo." Sliding his comb through his hair, Johnny replied with an atypical greeting of his own.
"The local boy, yes, indeed," Brandon said, walking off without so much as an additional nod.
'Boy? What does he mean by boy, he can't be much older than I am.' Thought Johnny, rejoining his mother as the receptionist finally gave them directions to their room
Taking his mother's arm to escort her, Johnny reminded himself again to not show signs of nervousness, not even so much as adjusting the tie to his monkey suit. Silently he decided not to call suits that around Magilla to avoid confusion.
The doors to the meeting room opened, revealing a rather intimate scene with approximately twenty chairs laid out in front of a large wooden desk. A young blonde man was removing chairs as they entered, clearing space near the desk for a fleet of senior citizens in wheelchairs to be parked, when finished he took a seat in the back of the room next to a man dressed in a kilt.
While his mother seemed to want to take a seat in the far corner, Johnny held her hand and stopped her in the center of the back row.
"Be strong Mama," Johnny whispered.
"You're right Johnny." Bunny stood up with back straight before taking her seat proudly. "I refuse to be the shrinking violet today."
"Speaking of violet." Said Johnny, looking at the last group to enter the room. A tall woman in a dark red dress entered, her curled purple hair bounced with each perfectly measured step as she pushed a wheelchair with an elderly man before her. Walking directly behind her was skunk head and a third man that Johnny did not recognize, but whose expensive suit screamed 'lawyer'.
"That's my cousin Joyce Bravo, she's pushing my Uncle Joshua, and behind her son Brandon. Don't know the other guy though." Said Bunny.
"Yeah, I met Brandon." Said Johnny, getting the feeling of why his mother was always weirded out by their relatives. Joyce parked her father's wheelchair before styling his eyebrows and taking her own seat like a queen seating in a royal court.
Thankfully the silence in the room did not last long, as Curly Neal, Ambassador of the Harlem Globetrotters, entered the room. With a wave of introduction, he sat behind the desk and placed a bundle of papers on the table before him. Breathing deeply, he rubbed his bald head and looked out on the room.
"Thank you all for gathering today. I know many of you have traveled some distance to attend to these delicate family matters. I'll presume you all know me, but if you will indulge me for a moment before we begin I would be grateful." Said Curly.
The door opened, letting in two late arrivals. Entering first was a man whose perfectly, pressed white suit did not seem to fit his rotund body at all. Behind him was a second man wearing a purple suit, though the long scar running vertically through his left eye was the big attention grabber. From the way the first man was rubbing his arm, it looked like the second had dragged and pushed him into the room. The two men found the last free seats and sat quietly, waving for Curly to continue.
"I was a long-time friend of Jebedissa. In life she was passionate, care-free, giving, she never missed a lay-up shot, everyone knew she was a bit of a prankster at times, but she was fiercely loyal to her family." Said Curly, overlooking the crowd and noticing nobody was smiling. "She was also stuck-up, pretentious, and held grudges far longer than she needed to. When she died she left a lot of things undone, but she was wise enough to have prepared a will, so I guess that's one thing I can say about her that will stick."
"She always did say she missed her calling to join the WNBA," Bunny whispered.
"So, with that covered, on to her will." Said Curly. "Item number one are the Bravo Clan holdings in Scotland and Ireland. Those are to remain in trust to the Bravo-MacFarlane family, with all rights and privileges there associated. Ownership will remain with the family head, hereafter to be known as the designated inheritor." Flipping over a few pages, Curly mumbled something about enumeration of Scottish and Irish estates.
"Glad those will stay managed by the family in the old country." Said Bunny.
"Yeah, the relatives back there didn't mind it when I visited." Said Johnny, folding his arms as he looked around the room. Even from the back of their heads, the old folks in wheelchairs seemed grumpy.
"Item number two, the Long Island Estate. A preliminary deal was made with the State of New York to convert the property as a historical landmark or to be sold to developers. Either option or neither if left to the designated inheritor. Similar deals have been made with developers for all the plots of land owned by the family east of the Missouri River. To be enumerated hereafter." Curly flipped through another couple of pages, detailing patches of land across the Midwest United States, thirty acres along the Ohio River, sixty acres of Michigan woodland, twenty acres along the New Jersey coastline.
"I didn't know we owned so much land." Whispered Johnny.
"Our family owns that land." Corrected Bunny. "Jebedissa managed all of it while she was alive, and not a red cent of it went to any of the relatives, least of all us."
"Item number three. All California holdings, including: the north Ventura estate, the art collection, the houses in Beverly Hills, Bel Air, Rancho Santa Fe, and Del Mar. As well as all business interests, stocks, monied accounts, and patents held in trust are also left to the prime inheritor." When Curly finished that sentence, groans began to arise from most of the people in the room. Impatience was starting to set in, seeing as how everything was going to wind up going to whoever this 'prime inheritor' was.
"The Prime Inheritor, hitherto mentioned, I hereby name to be my uncle Joshua Bravo." Curly motioned to the elderly man who held up a cane in triumph, drawing weak complaints from all the other senior citizens in the room. "Additional funds have been gifted to my other relatives will be distributed as follows."
Another ten minutes of reading names and dollar amounts followed, and it was all Johnny could do but hold his mother's hand as they both knew that her name would not be included on that list. There might have been some truth in what Curly said about his aunt, she was generous, but it was clear there was nothing in her heart for her sister. Turning over the last page, Curly tapped the pages back into order and set them neatly down upon the desk. While people in the room were chatting with each other, some looking back at Bunny to snicker with their eyes, Curly loudly cleared his throat before pulling out an envelope and a white box on the table.
"In addition to the Will, Jebedissa entrusted me with the following, which I will now read.
To be read following my Will.
Over the years I have acquired a few holdings which I have not included with those of my family, as I earned them with my own skill and labor. In my later years, I enjoyed our many trips out to our personal paradise. Thus, I leave all of my private holdings, which account for a controlling interest in the Catalina Island Conservatory, and our pleasure cruiser, The Sea Turtle, to my beloved Vogel.
A tall man sitting in the corner of the room leaned back in his chair and rubbed his knees. His light skin and gray buzzcut had somehow helped him hide in the shadows, which was especially odd as the last time Johnny had looked in that direction, there hadn't been anyone sitting in that corner.
The last item I leave to my sister, sometimes I wonder what path our lives could have taken if we had walked together as he had as children. But as I look back on my life I have but two regrets: that you didn't listen to me in matters of love, and that I didn't listen to you in matters of family. To her I leave our treasure, to remind her of our halcyon daydreams.
Wheeling up to the table, Joshua put on spectacles to look over the will before Joyce pointed out the places where he was to sign his name. Vogel walked up to the table to collect an envelope that had been prepared for him.
"Whoo, I thought my sister was more of the cougar type. I never thought she'd fall for a silver fox like that." Said Bunny, fanning herself at the sight of the man.
Walking to the table, Johnny reached to get the box, only for Brandon to be there before him. Lifting the box, the skunk-head hefted it in his hands for a moment before handing it to Johnny with a nod.
"One quick question." Asked Johnny, placing his free hand on Brandon's shoulder. "I'm not too good with all this relative stuff. What are you to me again?"
"I'm your first cousin, once-removed," Brandon said with a haughty guffaw. "But don't ask what you are to me, you might not like the answer."
"I'm pretty sure I already asked that." Said Johnny, not understanding what Brandon meant.
"You really are thick-headed aren't you?" Said Brandon, realizing Johnny did not pick up on the subtle insult.
"It's Mr. Kevin's triple-strength hair cement. You should try some." Said Johnny, recommending his hair gel brand.
"Enjoy your toy." Said Brandon, who walked away to talk with the man in the purple suit, grabbing away a box of facial tissue that the man seemed to have been eating.
'What a bunch of weirdos.' Thought Johnny, handing the box over to his mother.
Seeming hesitant, Bunny closed her eyes to summon the nerve to open the box. "I think I already know what this is." She said, pulling free the white ribbon and opening the top.
Inside lay a metal shape which almost looked like a spinning top, the bright metal finish looked like copper or gold. The spindle had tracks moving along the surface, which seemed to spin each time it was moved even slightly. It was a curious little thing, which Bunny seemed to recognize.
Despite having gotten everything from the Will, Joshua Bravo glared across the room at Bunny as he angrily nodded at his daughter Joyce to wheel him out of the room, grumbling something about not wanting the others in his sight.
For a moment, Johnny felt a lingering presence in the space where Joshua had been sitting. Like a dark figure was sitting in the air, staring at him with glowing narrow eyes, leaving only a soft afterimage as it suddenly vanished.