TPASD 29

Oscar had been slowly cooking some pozole rojo all day, which Leo was currently keeping an eye on while he showed everyone to their rooms. When he returned to the kitchen, he let out a small smile towards Ellen, he winked at Leo, and lowered his voice to Ellen.

"He's perfect for Alex, El." Oscar smiled and winked at his ex-wife. "Stop stressing and give the man a chance. Pretty sure he loves Alex, and he is totally smitten with Gabriella. He steps up and helps Alex out with her, without being asked. He doesn't grumble about it; he doesn't treat our granddaughter like a burden, and he seems to genuinely care for her. Give him a chance."

"Oz is right, El." Leo added. "Look past the prince thing and just see how he is with Alex and Gabriella."

June and Nora re-emerged into the living room. Gabriella was in Nora's arms, and she gave Oscar a gummy smile that hit him in the feels. That gummy smile was so reminiscent of Alex at the same age. He could also see parts of June in her. But it was mostly Alex that it reminded the Abuelo of.

"Hola Gabriella, ven con el abuelo." Oscar spoke to her in Spanish, holding his hands out to his granddaughter to see if she would go to him. "¿Dónde se esconden tu papá y Henry? ¿Están siendo traviesos?" (Hello Gabriella, come to grandpa. Where are your dad and Henry hiding? Are they being naughty?)

"Dad!" June exclaimed, covering her niece's ears. "You can't ask her that, she is not even one year old."

"The horndogs are just talking." Nora added, amused. Looking carefully at her mother-in-law, she quickly amended her statement. "Relax Ma, the bedroom door's wide open."

"It's just hard for me. Especially with that Miguel Ramos talking about Alex in the media again." Ellen sighed, leaning against Leo. "We're going to have to talk about it with him. We can't ostrich it, this time."

"We're not going to." June growled at her mother in earnest. Ever since they had gone their separate ways when they landed in Austin, June had been stewing in her anger. Whilst Nora had to be the one that was rational for a change. Even if Nora did egg June on in her anger just a little bit more. Miguel Ramos won't know what hit him if June Claremont-Diaz manages to get her hands on him. "Have you seen his latest vitriol? He has fucking outed Alex all over again. This time as the prince's boyfriend, before furthering his own vendetta against Alex, by outing him all over a-fucking-gain." Venom dripped from June's words, and Leo revised his earlier thought.

June was the one who would go to the ends of the earth for Alex, more than anyone else on the planet.

Oscar didn't say anything to his daughter's words or hostility, but Ellen had sworn out loud. A litany of swear words so profane and vile, it would have made a sailor blush. Leo stared towards the ceiling, as if praying for some kind of deity's divine intervention, or maybe just a hope and a prayer that he can prevent someone in his family from killing that disgusting piece of human trash. Oscar had suspected as much when Alex had broken down in his arms. Alex hadn't said anything, but he had already seen the articles.

Oscar had never really liked that slimeball reporter Miguel Ramos, from Politico. He had been a young and inexperienced journalist who gave him a creepy vibe. He had asked all the wrong questions on the campaign trail. When he had started trying to get close to Alex, Oscar had wanted him off the campaign. But his aide, Rigby, had told Oscar in no uncertain terms that him being there had been a favour to some big donor of Oscar's campaign. A donor that Oscar couldn't afford to lose that close to the election. So, Ramos had stayed around like a bad smell.

Oscar still hadn't liked it. The campaign was a hard slog and the Republican member nominated running against him had been gaining substantial ground every day in the data. So, Oscar had thrown everything into his campaign. It wasn't until a week after the election that he had noticed the change in Alex's behaviour. He had questioned June, who hadn't known anything, but had admitted that she was worried about him too.

Nora hadn't been much more help than June. She knew even less. But she did agree it had been very out of character for Alex.

It wasn't until Ellen called him, really concerned. She said it had been a normal night, her and the kids. Alex had seemed upset, and she had physically reached out to touch Alex's arm, in comfort, and he had frozen up. She said it was like a deer in headlights expression and she had never seen Alex like that before. When Alex had finally found his wherewithal, he had hightailed it out of the room so fast, her head had spun. Naturally Ellen had questioned the girls, who had no idea. Ellen had been sure to emphasize that the girls seemed to genuinely have no idea.

Something had clearly happened. Something that only Alex knew about. Ellen, Leo and Oscar had met up and discussed the worsening and escalating situation with Alex. It had been decided that they would get him to talk to a therapist. Leo had taken it upon himself to find one and drive Alex there, claiming the two Senators were so high strung and likely to either set him off, or feed off troubled Alex's energy. That all feeding off Alex's troubled energy would achieve is a rift between parents and son, when it was obvious that Alex needed his parents right in that moment.

All the therapy sessions had resulted in was a rather large bill and the therapist being met with stone cold silence from a child who, on his best day, was incapable of shutting up. The weight of disappointment had sat heavy on each of Alex's three parents' chests and none of them had any workable solutions moving forward for a child who had been clearly traumatised, but unable to communicate what had happened.

When Alex had finally come out as bi, they'd all responded with it was about time. Of course, they had all seen the photos that had been splashed all over the media of Alex and a nameless man in a hot tub, by that point. It hadn't taken much from Alex to go from giving everyone the silent treatment to being angry with everyone and everything. He would lash out over the slightest thing. He was always anxious and tense; like he was on a razor's edge.

Privately, they each had their suspicions about Alex long before he had come out. Leo had been sure there was something going on with his friend Liam. The two of them were always thick as thieves and spent so much time at one another's house. Mostly with the bedroom door closed and music blasting from the stereo.

Ellen had been more convinced it had more to do with Alex's obvious attraction to Hans Solo from Star Wars. Alex would go off on a tangent ranting about Star Wars and he would mention no less than eight times how hot he was on a subjective level, before claiming even he was straight enough to see it.

June however, in hindsight, was probably the most accurate because she had a stack of old magazines that she had been stockpiling, planning to make a collage out of them. But Alex had been drawn to a certain issue of her J14 magazine from the moment she had brought it home. This particular issue of J14 had a double page centerfold of none than His Royal Highness Prince Henry George Edward James Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor. No matter how many times she would hide it from Alex, it was never in the hiding place she put it.

Now June wasn't an idiot, if it wasn't her, it had to be Alex who kept moving it. It had been new when she had bought the magazine at aged fourteen. Alex was only twelve then, and the young Prince Henry was thirteen. The prince with a rugby ball in his hands as if he was ready to pass it off, dressed in short rugby shorts, and jersey. June would always know when Alex had been in the magazine, his greasy little fingerprints would be all over Henry's picture. She never really got what he was to Alex, until she thought she had it. It had not been until he and Nora had broken up at fifteen that she really understood it. She had realised Alex had a crush or something, on him.

The irony that after all of these years, somewhere in her bedroom at her mother's house, she still had that J14 magazine. Never having the heart to cut it up and use it to make her collage and that now, the said prince was literally her brother's boyfriend. She made a mental note to remember to tease Alex about that in Henry's presence. Only when they had sorted out the whole Miguel issue once and for all.

Alex had been feeling emotionally wrung out and mentally exhausted. He had loitered in the doorjamb of the former office that had been freshly minted as Gabriella's new room. He had watched Henry as he set up her room with a meticulousness that only comes from knowing his daughter and her quirks so well.

"Come talk with me, baby." Alex has requested, taking Henry by the hand and lacing their fingers together. Henry's smaller hand felt delicate inside Alex's larger hand, despite how small Alex was feeling.

Taking a seat on the foot of the bed, Alex let out a sigh and Henry gave him a small, reassuring smile. They turned and faced each other. Henry pressed a small, soft kiss to Alex's lips, to remind him he was still here, and he still cared. "Take your time, love."

"I didn't really start to notice anything until my dad's friend Raf came to stay for the summer." Alex whispered, looking around to make sure there eavesdropping on them. "I had worked on his campaign the year before and I knew him well. Dad met Raf when we were kids, so it's not like he was a stranger. Dad, Raf, Liam and I, we were here, renovating the attic into the guest apartment. It was hot and at the end of the working day, we'd cool off in the lake. I was already secure enough in myself to admit he was a fine-looking man. But seeing him, shirtless. It did things to me.

Raf left, he had only stayed a week. But it was long enough. However, after he left, I found myself looking at Liam that way. Liam and I had played lacrosse together since we were in elementary school. He knew me when our parents were still married. I was scared, and I panicked, Hen."

"Hey, that's ok." Henry reminded his boyfriend. "I panicked when I realised too. I think we all have that moment of sheer terror."

"Dad went into town for supplies and we were horsing around on the dock, as always, and I pushed him in the water, right before jumping in after him. We continued to rough-house and somehow we ended up tangled with each other." Alex looked at Henry softly, question in his eyes. "You know that moment where you have an out of body experience and you can see yourself as a spectator to what feels like you're about to do something that you know some people might think is wrong, but feels so right? Something you know is going to change the course of your life. Yet, something compels you to do it anyway, because the feeling of right outweighs everything else. That was me in that moment. The next thing I knew, Liam was pressing his lips to mine. It was awkward and clumsy, but nice. It felt normal. Right.

I had kissed girls before that, so I knew what I was doing and on instinct, I guess I just kissed him back. We were a couple of barely sixteen-year old's, horny and grinding on one another in the water. It felt good. Hot. He … He was the first one to take it further."

"Ok." Henry nodded along, trying to encourage Alex to open up some more.

"He touched my cock, Hen." Alex chuckled; the laughter tinged with a nervousness Henry wouldn't normally associate with Alex. He was usually so confident and sure of himself. "I mean Nora had touched it when we were dating the previous year when we had lost our virginity to one another. But he was the first man to … Let's just say I was so over excited by it; it was over very quick."

"He was the first man to give you that release?" Henry verified softly. "He encouraged you to unlock that part of you?"

"Yeah." Alex admitted. "We may have continued it every time we were alone together for the rest of the summer. But when school returned, Liam started avoiding our plans and he made new friends. That was the catalyst in me taking a semester in California and helping Dad out with his campaign.

I was confused by everything that had happened with us. I was left wondering if it wasn't just Liam, or if it was something with most men. My brain really hadn't had a chance to even process what had happened with dad's friend, before Liam and I were kissing."

"And Miguel?" Henry asked softly, not wanting to push Alex further than he could emotionally cope with. Alex had been distraught back on the plane, and Henry was conscious of it now. "How did he play into things?"

"He was on the campaign trail with us." Alex sighed, wanting nothing more than to curl in on himself in self-recrimination. "I didn't know he was on the trail with us as a reporter. He was always hanging out with the donors. There was this big-wig donor, he came from big money. Telecommunications, I think. He was self-made. Was a Mexican immigrant, who had come here as a child, like dad. He was a VIP. Dad had tasked me with keeping the donors happy. You know, they want to play golf a round of golf, I organize it. They need someone to collect their dry cleaning, I do it. That kind of thing.

Miguel could see how much I detested it all. I wanted to be in the thick of it, where the action was. I had wanted the job in the campaign headquarters, but dad had said no. Never mind that I had experience in campaign HQ's. I had worked on Raf's the year before and my mom's campaigns before that.

Angry and fed up with everything, I stole a bottle of maker's mark from dad's room and charged it to his campaign. I was annoyed. I had not long moved past the hurt and anger from the separation and I had uprooted my life in Texas to come and help him; and he wasn't using me to my full potential. Miguel and I had talked on occasion. But somehow that night, he found me. Not that I was hard to find, perched on the hood of dad's jeep.

I was almost through the whole bottle, when Miguel told me he had another bottle in his room. So, I finished the bottle, and I followed him. I knew I was drunk, but he was older, and he was one of my dad's donor's. I thought he would make sure I was safe.

The last thing I remember was Miguel handing me a glass with twelve-year-old scotch in it. He told me only real men drank scotch. When I came to, it was morning, and I was back in my own room. In my bed. Dad standing over me, about to explode over my irresponsibility, getting plastered the night before.

He was so disappointed in me, Hen. Dad knew I had drunk alcohol before, but this was different. He was worried about his image and the campaign. He told me he was sending me back to mom. That I was too much for him to handle. He put me on a flight and sent me back to Texas."

"Oh, Alex." Henry had sympathized with him. He knew what it was like to be taken advantage of by an older man, whilst under the influence of alcohol. But at least Henry remembered every detail and at least in England, the legal age of consent was sixteen.

"It wasn't until after I landed in Austin, and I had slept off the bulk of the Makers, that I could recall other parts of the night." Alex had tears in his eyes. He was trying hard not to cry now, and letting his body consciously smother his hiccups. If he didn't hiccup, he would be able to control his tears. "No one was waiting for me, so I caught the bus into the city centre. There was a free clinic, just on the outskirts of the city centre. I knew where it was because Liam's mom used to work there, before she got her job at the hospital.

I had a ball cap and hoodie on, despite the warm day. Pulled my sunglasses out of my bag and slid them on too. I paid cash and gave them a fake name. The nurse behind the desk knew who I was, she had worked with Liam's mom. She would always bring in cookies for us, when we'd visit his mom at work. She recognised me and didn't say a word. She was one of my mom's supporters. She called me in by the fake name, but in the privacy of the exam room, she called me Alex.

I begged her not to tell and soul, and she promised me. Eventually, I broke down and told her everything. I … She examined me and took a sample. She told me there was some bruising and tearing. She was older and I let her hug me. I felt safe. She wanted me to tell someone but respected my choice not to. I was seventeen, and in Texas, I was old enough to legally consent.

She offered to give me somewhere safe to stay the night, but I told her my mom was expecting me to go home. That I was already in enough trouble. She wanted to call the house with the results, and I begged her not to. I told her I would come by in a few days for them."

Alex took a deep breath and his body shuddered in a sob. And another one, was quickly followed by a third. And a fourth. Soon, Alex was sobbing into Henry's chest, and Henry was holding him tight. Telling him words to calm and comfort the traumatised man.

It's a good crying session for Alex. A cathartic and soul cleansing cry. The oxytocin and endogenous opioids have done their job and helped ease both physical and emotional pain of recalling that time in his life.

"How are you feeling now, love?" Henry asked his boyfriend, noting to himself that Alex's sobs had subsided, and the tears had stopped. "Are you able to tell me what happened next?"

"He had raped me, Hen." Alex cried gently. His words did stutter or stammer over the word. It was factual. Clear and Concise. As if he had practiced it in front of mirror until he could get through it without a hiccup. "I had fissures and anal tearing. The following day, I had to return to the clinic for bleeding.

After three stitches, and some pain meds. I was sent on my way. But not before Liam's mom's friend insisted, I speak to the doctor about what happened. She sent me away with a brochure on safe anal sex and a lecture about not using protection. She didn't care what had happened to me. Had made me feel like it was all my fault.

That, I am ashamed to admit, I didn't cope with very well. I drank whiskey, every day. Didn't matter if it was homemade moonshine from old Jack by the railroad tracks, some Maker's Mark dad had left at moms the previous Christmas, or Leo's twenty-five-year-old Glenfarclas. As long as it could get me drunk. When I was drunk, it numbed the pain.

Rather than reaching out and seeking help, or support from my friends; I found myself withdrawing. Everyone was too loud, too bright, and it felt like too much effort to do the basic tasks. A simple shower was a whole thing. First, I had to barricade the door. I'd shift the heavy bureau in front of it. Next it was the lock on the door, then I'd rig up a wedge, so that if someone managed to work their way in, I'd hear them and prepare myself to fight.

No matter how many showers I took, I couldn't ever seem to feel clean. I would scrub and rub my skin red, turning the temperature up to scalding hot. I thought if I couldn't get my skin clean, at least the hot water would kill the germs. His germs on my body.

The first time I felt safe enough not to barricade the door. That was the day June had come bursting and found me."

"Oh, Alex." Henry adjusted his embrace tighter. That part of the story he heard from Nora.

"June and Nora," Alex closed his eyes as if he was trying to picture the day in his head. "They're the one who managed to help the most. They wanted me to see someone, but I wasn't ready, they respected that. They wanted me to tell our parents, and I couldn't. I felt humiliated and embarrassed. Worst of all, I blamed myself.

I never told June that he raped me. I never told June I was injured enough to need stitches. That the reason I had to go back to the clinic was that the small amount of bleeding I had experienced the day before was gone, and it had gotten a lot more prominent. If June knew, she'd blame herself. Or worse, she'd blame me too. I can't take that. You're the only one who knows.

I didn't let anyone get too close to me for a while after that. It wasn't until the following year, when I met Erica, that I trusted enough to let in who wasn't June and Nora. When I had been with Erica for a year, I finally felt like I was in a place where I could confide in her everything, tell her everything that had happened to me.

She begged me to stop, told me it was dirty and too scary. Then she refused to hear any more about it. She used to say she was ok with me being bisexual. However, she would make biting or scathing remarks about where I was or am, who I was with, or had been doing. She ... It was like she was beginning to distrust me. She let what happened to me change her perspective of me and I was too stupid to see it, until now."

"Alex, darling. There is nothing you could have done different." Henry reminded him, firmly. "You were in a relationship with the woman. You were open and honest with her. You trusted her. What she did with what you gave her, that's on her. She is the one who took issue with what she learnt. That's on her! Did you ever talk to anyone about it? About what happened back then? It must have affected you somehow."

"Yes." Alex let himself be held by Henry. Being in Henry's arms felt nice. It felt safe and Alex realised he had never felt as safe as he did right now, in Henry's arm, in his father's house, surrounded by his family. "I saw them regularly for three years and occasionally for the fourth year."

He leaned up and kissed Henry. It was a soft, gentle press of his lips to Henry's to his. Alex wanted to deepen it, desperately. He wanted Henry's tongue to trace the entrance of his lips. He wanted their tongues to meet and mingle. He wanted his hands on Henry.

However, he feared Henry wouldn't want him after this and he didn't want Henry to reject him. He didn't think he could handle it. So he kept it chaste.

Dinner was full of stilted conversation and tiptoeing around the issue. The three parents tried to focus on getting to know Henry better. But each of them noticed that Alex had barely touched his pozole rojo, one of his absolute favourite 'dad cooked' meals.

June and Nora kept shooting Alex concerned glances, before trying to catch Henry's eye. Henry wasn't looking at anyone, trying to keep to himself.

"You know, Henry," Oscar mused out loud towards the end of the meal, as he was alone with Oscar helping him clear the dishes. "It's usually a lot rowdier and lively at mealtimes here. It's not you, it's just this situation with that fuckin Ramos weasel."

"I could think of a stronger word than a weasel." Henry muttered and looked up to find Alex's father grinning at him.

"I think we should try to encourage Alex to see someone. A therapist." Oscar suggested softly. Henry wanted to interrupt with his own opinion but wasn't sure it was his place to say something. "I know we tried therapy in the past. But he is older now, and it might just work. He needs to talk to someone about what happened. Until someone unlocks the trauma of whatever happened that Alex's burying so deep inside of him, we will never know. I think that the reason why therapy didn't work last time."

"We're going to get him through this, Sir." Henry declared in earnest. In that moment, Henry hoped like hell that Alex had been truthful when he said he saw someone.

"I guess I blame myself more than I thought." Oscar hummed, as they loaded the dishwasher in silence. "Maybe if I hadn't have sent Alex back to Texas, after getting mad at him. We wouldn't be where we are now."

Henry didn't want to correct Oscar's assumption. If he did, then Oscar would know that Alex told him the whole truth. It would only serve to make Oscar angrier and more disappointed with himself, if he knew the truth.

Henry wondered if Oscar and Ellen would argue over it. Alex had told him so many times that they loved to snip and snipe at each other. That if there was an Olympics for it, his parents would win gold.

As soon as Henry and Oscar joined the rest of them in the living room, Henry noted to himself that Shaan had made himself scarce. June was with Nora, on the floor in front of the unlit fireplace. Oscar took the empty armchair, Leo and Ellen on the three-seater and Alex on the other three-seater.

"Ok, we've put it off long enough." Ellen began, her no nonsense attitude shining through. "Sugar, I know you've been hurtin', and it's been a while, but we're gonna need you to tell us everything. We can't help you stop that vile reporter's bullshit if we don't know."

Henry and Alex exchanged a look. Henry saw the worried look on Alex's face. He was scared and unsure, even if Henry had told him that none of it was his fault.

"It's going to be ok, love." Henry murmured, holding Alex's hand as he held his boyfriend close to him in comfort. "I am going to be right beside you, holding your hand. Just tell them the same way you told me."