Tuesday 20 February 2007, Luna Nova
"Now that all the time has passed and I've been a bit down and depressed about not being around Croix andeven nervous about her not answering me and not wanting to be around anymore, my birthday is coming upand as you can already tell she wasn't going to be there, which I was expecting, since our relationship wasn'tthe best. but well that's what I tried to do at the time, I even ended up not thinking about her too much andfocused more on other important things in life that I really should prioritise."
Everyone said happy birthday to me today in Luna Nova, people know that I'm turning 17 today, I just get a lot more anxious and excited, I never thought I could be so loved here, or that I'd be like this at 17, I really am in Luna Nova, years ago I didn't even dream about it, but now it's a reality, at 12 I was doing everything I could to get here and look where I am.
I walk down the corridors to my room, since the school day is over, I don't know if there will be anything else, but if there is it will be wonderful, but before I go up the stairs I see my mum leaning against the wall.
"Mums!" I say, running up to them and then hugging them.
"Happy birthday, Chariot" they both said as they hugged me, it's so good to have them here again.
"Let's go there with your friends to celebrate, I made sure to bring some people to see you and we're also going to enjoy the blue team room for the day" I even get a twinkle in my eye and nod.
"I knew you'd do something" I say excitedly.
"Let's not leave our daughter aside, she deserves a little party to celebrate, today is her day" said my mum Bernadette, rubbing my head.
We walk to the blue team's room and I can already imagine that Croix won't be able to enjoy it, it's a real shame, but well, there's not much to do, I'd like to see her here with me and we can have fun, but next time, she's still impacted by the fight that happened.
We get to the blue team's room and as soon as I open the door I can see that there's a whole birthday party atmosphere, which I'm thrilled about, I can't believe they've got everything set up here for me, Grandma and Grandpa are here, Megan, my little sisters, everyone's come to see me.
"I told you it would be something more interesting" said my mum Laura.
"Chariot!" Shouts Megan coming towards me.
I wave and Croix's sister quickly comes running towards me and hugs me, she's grown up quite a bit, this girl must be about 10 now, what a cutie, she looks just like her mum, I see Phoebe come out of the bathroom too and she waves at me, I can tell she's grown up too, it's been a while since I've seen them.
I walk over to the food and get close to her too, accompanied by the girls, picking up some crisps and a few cubes of chin and ham, this is really good, so I'm going to enjoy it.
"I'm sorry I told Croix that, I wanted to keep it a secret, but I couldn't bear to lie for long..." The blonde said and I stroked her head, I'm fine with that, she did what is the best for me.
"You can rest easy Meg, your sister had much worse reasons for not wanting to talk to me and turning up here" I say to the little Jordan.
"Look, I heard about this from your mum, who told everyone, and wow, I didn't expect this from you Chariot, the most straightforward girl in the world, I could have called you to the most fun parties, even more so since you're older, it's good that all this has given me more time off school, so I like it" said Phoebe and she still like that when I see her last time.
"That wasn't as nice as you think it is, I don't get excited about that thing, it was more a way of controlling my nervousness" I reply to Morris.
"You're even cheeky when you talk about the drug you used to be addicted to, jeez, you sound like my mum, even cheekier than her" That Phoebe is still wanting a lot of attention and to grow up.
"Don't mind her, Chariot, at least you're okay now?" I shake my head, but I'm really just going, since those messages from Croix I've been a bit shaky.
"Now that Chariot could get interesting, she's like this, but at least we can socialise, can't we? I came here to at least have a party, but there won't be any booze or anything, it'll just be a kids' party, look at that, you're already 17 and there's nothing like an adult party" I shrug, we don't need that.
"It's what I like, I don't mind my parties looking like this, I'm celebrating the day with everyone and having fun, what do you think the ideal party would be? You haven't even started your teenage years yet" I say, giggling.
"For your information, I'm going to be 14 and I'm a teenager, yes, I've had my period for about three years now, that's a sign that adolescence has begun" We laugh, she's so much of a baby. Honestly being adult so early sucks a lot.
"I started at around that age too and it wasn't that much fun, it was terrifying really, it's good that I was able to deal with it afterwards, but anyway, Megan will soon be the one to face it, let's do something, go to the bouncy castle, play a video game, sing at karaoke" I say to her as I look around.
Phoebe makes that face of rolling her eyes, this phase of hers of wanting to look like an adult isn't going to end any time soon apparently, she doesn't know what she's missing, I didn't even get to enjoy a phase like this at her age, I was already being an adult by force, well I think I'm going to go to karaoke, grandma is there singing and having a lot of fun with her aunts.
When I arrive, I'm greeted by everyone who hugs me, and all that contact makes me cringe, but I like it, I enjoy it while I have a family that loves me and treats me with all the affection in the world, and soon it's my turn to start singing into the microphone.
"Who knew we'd see Shiny Chariot singing?" said Daniella.
"Guys, I'm not really much of a singer, I only know how to perform on stage, but I can try" I say as I pick up the microphone.
"Now let's find out what Shiny Chariot's singing voice is like, that'll be very curious to know, I've rarely heard you sing" said Parker.
"So you want to hear Shiny Chariot? Are you ready for the show that will capture your hearts?" I do it as if I were on stage.
At this point my mum was also choosing a song and I was already starting to get into a pose, getting ready to start singing, she chose one byABBA, well apparently I'm going to be the Dancing Queen, which I'm already starting to concentrate on to get into the groove, I remember listening to these a lot when I was on the road, it'll be funny to see me rolling around with my accent too.
"Go Chariot!" Everyone says and I nod my head, tapping my feet to get into the rhythm of the music.
I start to sing along and now all I can think about are the words of the lyrics and the feeling that I'm back on stage being Shiny Chariot, which makes the whole day more magical, even with Croix gone, things can still be quite fun, especially singing along like this, which I'm even shaking my head as the song plays.
It's as if the room is dark with a few lights, I feel like I'm at a concert, completely inspired, it doesn't feel like I'm at a birthday party, I'm embodying my voice more, I'm able to feel confident, this feeling that comes back to me after so long with a microphone makes me feel freer.
As soon as I finish singing the song stops and I come back to the real world and when I see the karaoke scoreboard there's a big 100, I'm shocked, I look round and everyone's clapping, I can even see how excited people were to see me singing.
"Wow, I think I've really gone that far" I say, rubbing the back of my neck.
"By the nine witches, you have the talent to be a great singer and you've never told us, the song didn't even roll off your accent, it sounds like perfect English" said Daniella.
"Well, now it's my mum's turn to show her voice" I say, passing Mum Bernadette and going over to my friends.
"Okay, that really touched me, Chariot, you can bring some animation to this place" said the annoying Phoebe.
"How come you never told me about this? Not only are you an excellent stage entertainer, but you have this angelic voice, do you have any idea of the power you have in your hands? That's marvellous, I have a friend who has the voice of an angel" I get a bit silly with these statements and go on my way.
"I think I'll go on the bouncy castle, I just don't know if I'm that good at singing, I get really nervous" I say quite a lot.
I see them nodding in agreement, with the exception of Phoebe who wants to be more grown-up, and we walk over there where I take off my shoes and jump into the bouncy castle, and there I see Megan all excited, jumping and trying to make some higher ones, while the girls and I are having the same fun, seeing that Morris is outside looking in through the door.
"Come on Phoebe, it's too cool here" said Jordan.
"Get out of it, it's childish, how can you be so grown up and still be having fun in a thing like this, you don't even look like you're going to be 18 next year" what a curmudgeonly girl.
"I'll be 18 in September, girl, I don't care if I'm almost an adult jumping on a toy, I just want to enjoy it, after that life is boring" said Parker and I didn't expect that from her.
"Hey Chariot, can you do a mortal?" I nod my head in agreement and show Megan.
I do one of those jumps and do a full backwards somersault, it's like it's in slow motion and she stares at it in amazement, which I'm sure she'll try to replicate, which I can already see her trying and I'm giving her a little help, but I didn't even need it, she managed to do a forward somersault and when she saw that she'd done it she jumped for joy.
"I did it!" She got all excited.
"So that's what you do for fun? Trying to jump like that?" Phoebe said.
"Give it a try, hot girl" said Jordan teasingly.
"I'm going to put my glasses away and show you something too, I'm going to show you what a bore and a waste of time this is" We even looked at each other and I'm going to touch Megan here.
We managed to convince the annoying girl to join us, who knew? I didn't expect that to happen, but apparently it did. I'm even laughing, as she gets into the bouncy castle and starts jumping around, we're just holding back our laughter, and then Phoebe starts showing us how it's done, but she fails miserably at doing a somersault, so much so that she falls on her back and has a sulky look on her face.
"Weren't you the one who said you'd be more deadly than me?" Megan said, teasing.
"Oh no, I'll do it, it's just that I have extra weight" The breast is extra weight.
"For me, that's a lack of skill" the girls and I just laughed.
"It's easy for you, puberty hasn't even arrived, when you get to my age your breasts will explode like they did with me and you'll see how heavy they are" Poor Phoebe, but at least she's enjoying it.
"And as for us who are 17, you didn't say you were going to beat us too" I say teasingly.
"Oh, don't get carried away, you guys who didn't have exaggerated balls of fat on your bodies, I had to have my mum's genetics" Well, that's a lack of skill for me too.
"So why did you come here, I thought you weren't going to have any fun or touch these children's things" She gets more annoyed.
"Ah, look at that" She jumps again and this time the backflip even manages to work a little, even though she falls partway down, which I can even see a little smile coming from her.
"Congratulations, you've made it" I say to her.
"Look, it's not so bad, I did it! Even with the extra weight" She stood up and prepared for more.
"My mum with her "extra weight" does it without having to use the bouncy castle, and she's short too" I say to Phoebe.
"Your mum's crazy, that's what she is, Mrs McLaren is another level that we can't even compare, what she does is absurd, but it wasn't so bad coming here" I knew she'd let go one day.
Phoebe, you have no idea how good it is to have fun with these little things in life, she still has a lot of her childhood, I didn't get to enjoy it as much when I was her age and I'm getting to enjoy it now, well now I'm going to stay here and have some fun, I'm sure she'll be here for a long time.
[...]
Well, I'm playing a bit, since Meg and Phoebe have gone to play more in the bouncy castle, I want to enjoy the time with my mums too and Aunt April, they're playing Ronaldo Kart Ree, it's quite fun to play, I take one of the controls and go in to play with them while the girls watch.
"So how are things going with your addiction, how many days have you gone without smoking?" Asks my mum Bernadette.
"I haven't smoked since the 31st of last year, it's been almost two months since I touched a cigarette" I tell them.
"That's good, we have to keep it up, you're too young to get into a habit like that" said Mrs Jordan.
"Rosemary started smoking when she was younger than you, she hasn't stopped to this day, the same with Beatrice, but that one is purely out of stubbornness, Rose is because she doesn't really see herself coming back, so much so that we don't even bother her, but we still worry" I understand, I wish I could stop.
"Only one day did Chariot get weak, but I gave her a nicotine patch a week ago, so she might be able to ease up a bit" said Daniella.
"Well, the patches can really help a bit, it's sad to see someone so young getting into addiction, when we were her age we had no idea, but now we're even worried, I'm glad you're looking after her these days Daniella" said mum Bernadette stroking Parker's head.
"That's one way to get her to stop" said Becca.
"I hope I can, I want to be able to control my nervousness better, every now and then the shakes come and everything comes back, I get all horrible" I say as I concentrate on playing.
"You need counselling too girl, I think we can find a psychologist here in Glastonbury, where she can help you and a psychiatrist, maybe he can prescribe something to help you with the shaking without having to rely on nicotine" well that would be marvellous really.
"That would help me a lot mums" I tell them.
"After school every week you go there and let off steam, we'll make a point of trying to find the best, it won't be the same with Alan" I'm even happier.
"Wow, therapy helped me a lot, when I let go of my mum it took months and months, a lot because I'd run away from home to date Laura and I was still left with all the damage, but getting things off my chest every week and knowing how to act helped me a lot, as did Laura being the wonderful girlfriend she's always been" I wish I could have a girlfriend like that...
"A little Sertraline and Ritalin also gave Bernadette a boost, but it was good that it helped you through many of those days, and it also ended up helping me after some more recent events" said my mum Laura.
"Isn't it still love?" She shakes her head.
"Look, we'd better talk about something else, it's this girl's birthday today, I know you want to help her with her therapy afterwards, but let's cheer up" said Aunt April.
And the two older girls nod their heads and so we play without thinking too much about these things and just enjoy the moment, which also shows Phoebe and Megan coming out of the bouncy castle, I see that the two of them were laughing and were very close, that's quite suspicious, but I think they were just jumping around a lot.
When Meg arrives she calls out to me and I've just finished the race, so I hand the wheel over to Becca who loves to play games, I get close to her and she whispers something into my ear.
"I kissed Phoebe, she showed me how to kiss, it's very good" I even looked a little shocked and looked at the two of them.
"Don't tell Chariot, she'll tell everyone" The redhead even elbowed her friend.
"I'm not going to tell anyone, relax" I say shrugging.
"It was the first girl I'd ever kissed, I never thought I'd be the silly Megan... But it wasn't so bad, even though I didn't know how to do it, it was better than kissing the boys" They'll keep whispering anyway.
"Looks like someone's found out" I say, giggling.
"I never told you I was bisexual?" Now I know.
"I'm like my little sister, I'm very lesbian, one day I'll tell Mum, she'll be very proud" They've really gone and done something silly, I'm not going to leave those two alone any more, especially Phoebe.
"I'll go if that's the gossip you wanted to tell me" I say, but they hold me back.
"No! We want to learn more, you're older than us and you've already had a girlfriend" I put my hand to my face.
"I'm 17, it's a lot more complex than you think, talk to your mums, you're too young too, I'm not really an expert on the subject" The two of them continue to hold my arm.
"My mum only talks about that boring sex education stuff from school" said Morris, puffing out her cheeks.
"What's that? We..." I swear these girls are really silly.
"No girls! It was just a kiss, look let's go to the sofa and play a bit, dance on the dance mat, I promise I'll talk to you about the bouncy castle, all right, but no kissing again" The two even celebrate.
What a bizarre thing, why would I leave two girls alone? Well, at least they must have had a good time, but I forget how one is in puberty and the other well, the other is a curiosity seeker, if Croix were here things might be a little more helpful, but well I'm not going to cry over spilt milk, let me check the messages.
I take out my mobile phone and have a look, I hope there's at least a happy birthday from Meridies, but I really doubt it, she's probably still processing what happened, it's been a month since the incident and I'll see what she has to say about it, there are messages from her.
"Happy birthday Chariot"
"I haven't forgotten the day, okay?"
"I'm sorry about this text that's about to come, but I've been writing this since morning thinking about you, I've been thinking about what happened recently and I really acted immaturely, I wasn't that happy to hear about it, but I also felt betrayed, even though I'm not your girlfriend, I know we were taking a break, but I just wanted to be yours I know I'm going to look and sound a bit possessive, but the truth is that I really want you Chariot, I have feelings for you, that's why I want to sort things out with you on Friday, we'll have a final chat in Wagandea forest, I don't want Woodward or anyone else to be around,want to get the thoughts out of my head once and for all, you may hear some very bad things coming from me, but I'm going to be honest and sincere, I'm going to make a promise once and for all, let's end this right away, that's what I wanted to say" "And I haven't forgotten to say this, I love you Chariot, it may not seem like it, but I love you."
I smile a little, I love you too Croix, but we really have to talk to make things right, I wish you were here, well now let's get back to the girls, I think I'll take Daniella to dance with me on the dance mat, I'll get close to her, we'll compete a bit with the two children.
I walk over to the sofa to watch them play and for the moment I haven't done anything with Parker who has been helping me so much these days, she deserves a little extra attention
"Daniella, what do you say we dance a bit on the dance mat?" I ask her.
"I don't even know how to make Chariot, it seems like something from another world to me" That's why it's going to be so interesting.
"That's exactly why it's going to be even more fun, I guarantee we'll have a good time, I haven't even spent time with you Daniella and then you who have been helping me so much" I give her my hand and she takes it, blushing.
"Look, if Croix were here, she'd be jealous" said Mrs Jordan.
"Whatever, I'm going to have fun with my friend, she's been my companion all these days, I'm sorry to say that about Croix Mrs Jordan" I say to her.
"Oh well, I can see my girl's faults, I know she fails at some things, but well, she really needs some time and to get her head right, getting angry over a piece of wood isn't going to solve that" I laugh a bit.
With that I go with Daniella to where the dance mat is and see that the two girls are dancing against each other, noticing how Meg is simply managing to do much better and take the points with Phoebe having a hard time, poor thing, but she's having a lot of fun, you can see it in her smile, what kissing a girl does isn't it.
"It's very tiring, good luck to you" said Phoebe as she left the dance floor.
"I think I'll pass, because you won't stand up to Meg" said Daniella.
"Do you want to see me dance then? Time to show that little cap who's boss" I say to Jordan.
"For your information, I'm going to be 10 years old and I'm 1.47 metres tall, I'm as tall as the boys" she even shows her tongue.
"I'd be the size of a tape measure at your age" I say, going to start dancing.
"When puberty comes around, growth will slow down so much you'll have no idea" said Phoebe.
We'll choose the song and now I'm going to show you how active I still am, I'll even put it on the highest difficulty, wow it's been a long time since I've played here, it'll be interesting to see how I'm doing, the song starts, it's called Night of Fire, the arrows are appearing, I'm holding on to the bars and I'm starting to take the steps.
I'm just concentrating on the screen, on the various arrows, there are a lot of them here, the music speeds up and what kind of thing is this, I even take a look and it seems that Jordan isn't doing too badly, but I have to keep my concentration if I want to win, I'm managing to keep the points climbing well
The song comes to an end and I'm gasping for breath, I've scored an SS at least, as I look over I see that Megan has done it too, not only that, but she's passed me on points, how did this girl do it? She's a little monster.
"Who's the little cap now?" I'm shocked.
"You've practised it until you can't do it anymore, haven't you, girl?" I ask her.
"I've got a dance mat at home and I play all day long, with the supports it's even easier to press the buttons" Ah, that makes sense.
"Well, you go on, I'm going to rest" I say breathlessly.
"Let's see which of the two newcomers does better" said Jordan.
I never thought the child would be so good, I underestimated her, I thought I was the queen of the dance mat, I think I've been dethroned by a nine-year-old girl, it happens, she has the talent to be a great player and have a future, I imagine that in the arcades near home she must be known for it.
[...]
Everyone is singing happy birthday to me, today was such a marvellous day, so much happened, even though Croix was away, it was still possible to have a lot of fun, I never thought I would be able to spend time like this, I think I can say it was time well spent.
When I sing Happy Birthday I get emotional, I jump for joy and blow out the candles that were showing my 17th birthday, who would have thought that now I'm one step away from adulthood, I could even drive if I were British.
"Chariot! Chariot! Chariot!" They all say.
"So what was your request?" I asked that Croix and I could get along again, that's all.
"Probably something to do with Croix, I don't doubt that" said Parker.
"I wish she was here, but let's share the cake and the first piece will go to my mums, since Croix isn't here" I say smiling and using magic to cut the cake.
It's even easier this way, cutting the cake using magic makes everything come out nice and straight and apparently they used a lot of chocolate in this one, which I love, just the sight of it makes my mouth water, I cut it up for everyone and distributed the pieces, which I ate and wow the cake is really delicious, my mouth is all sweetened by the sugar.
I'm so full from the cake and the extra food that I sit down in a chair to rest. I think today has been quite a day, who would have thought that I'd made everyone miss a few days of work for me.
"What a day" I say happily.
"I'm glad you had a good time, we thought of everything to make it a fun day" said my mum Bernadette.
'They insisted on bringing us here, so we had to go, but it was worth it, it was the perfect excuse to take today off from work and also to give the girls a break from school" said Aunt Rosemary.
"Although the way the WCI is standing still, it wouldn't even make a huge difference" said Mum Laura.
"You're right, the investigations have been pretty frozen, but Phoebe still has her school, now that she's at that stage of wanting to be an adult it's been a pain, she keeps hitting on the boys and I don't know if the girls too, but she's a lot like me when I was her age, I just hope she never puts a cigarette in her mouth" said Mrs Morris.
"Ew mum, I'd rather get addicted to other things than this bad, stinking stuff from you" It's not that bad.
"Well, now we're going because it's a long journey, even on a broomstick, and we have to rest to get back to our routine, it's been a good day for you" said the eldest.
I certainly had a lot of fun, it was nice to enjoy today in a very different way, but I'm still going to miss Croix here, she really should have been here, unfortunately she was only here when I turned 16 and she wasn't even my girlfriend yet, it's good that things can still change, I'm just looking forward to seeing how the score will be settled from now on.
"And so that was my birthday without Croix, well my 16th birthday was really the only one that Croix waspresent for, since I was already fighting with her in 2008, but it was still a very fun day to spend, the companyof loved ones from the family and also the fun of the girls was something that made my birthday more lively,but it still doesn't come close to what my 16th and 18th birthdays were, at least I can say that I was morerecovered from my wounds that day."
Happy birthday, lesbian witches...