Friday 6 January 2006, Luna Nova
"Christmas and New Year 2005 passed and that's why Bernadette wasn't at the Cavendish mansion becausethat was the only time she was going to be at the McLaren house, that was for the first time in years, it reallywas a marvellous day on both dates, I was able to relax and go there with Croix, before the worst thingsreally happened, which wouldn't be long in coming, because in 2006 everything would change and take adifferent direction, in a year that would start with a lot of new things, since in the book you saw that in 2005 Ididn't reveal much apart from the first performance, in 2006 as you know was the start of my career as aprofessional stage entertainer and now I'm going to show you how I got here."
What a week at this school, I'm still a real disaster, can't I improve a bit as a witch, my potential is a bit rubbish for magic, I only know basic things, I'm behind a lot, well I could think about going to that fountain near where Arcas is later, but I'll talk to Croix first, I want to see what's good with her.
I leave the classroom waving to my friends, after finishing a normal day at school as usual, I get to the library, and take a deep breath, seeing that she was already deep in books as usual, Croix really doesn't stop reading books, I get close to her, to have a chat and she notices my presence.
"Oh you came Chariot" said Meridies, who had even closed her book.
"Were you really reading?" I ask her.
"In fact, I always do this to use my mobile phone covertly, but anyway, let's go to Woodward's, she told us that when school starts again we can have a new mission and I'm really looking forward to it" She's really been thinking about it all this time, I'm not going to judge, I'd be thinking about these things for a while too.
The bespectacled one gets up from her chair and we walk together, hiding in the corridors of Luna Nova, to the ruins, by then we're close to Arcas, it's snowing today, how marvellous, I don't think Bear will even be here at this time, we've only seen him and his mother in a corner, but when he notices me he runs up to me and I go and stroke him.
"I thought they were hibernating" said Croix.
"I thought so too, but apparently they don't hibernate in winter, which is less bad as they have more affection to give this fluffy fur" I say, stroking the creature.
"We have to focus, Chariot, from now on, today is just another mission or lesson, just to start the year" The focus always remains in this girl's head.
I finish cuddling my friend Arcas and his mum Ursula, and we leave the house, walking through the forest, which is a little more leafless since it's winter and there's nothing but snow, until we get close to the tower of Arcturus, where even in winter it was showing life, and a lot of life at that, there weren't any fallen leaves, not even any snow nearby, so we climb the stairs, get to where the tower is and feel relieved, the atmosphere is even a little warmer than it was in the snow.
"Phew, I was already freezing outside, even with a scarf it's really cold today" I say, warming my hands and puffing on my gloves.
"It was really cold today, now I wonder if Woodward will come for us" I hope so, but if she doesn't it's no problem, I'll take the opportunity to rest and play some video games.
When Croix spoke, we saw the butterflies gather in the middle of a crumb as they always do, revealing Woodward's appearance right in front of us, which I was impressed to see again, it's always such a legendary and epic appearance.
She was looking at us and we were celebrating because it had been a good few days since we'd seen her, today she's sure to say a lot of good things about us, perhaps progress on the missions.
"Well done Chariot and Croix, you must have enjoyed your time away a lot, I assume and hope so, you've put that ambition to own the Claiomh Solais to rest, I could even see that Meridies helped with that, she can understand the importance of teamwork and do a lot for it, I'm proud of her, it was a job well done by both of you, that's how I like to see it, one more step forward, but anyway, I hope you've both understood these lessons, Claiomh Solais is not an object to be used as something that you have an individual and selfish goal, it's always the collective that will help in this part" She explains and I'm very happy that I was able to give her pride in what I've only spent the days with.
"So what's today's mission?" Croix is as direct as ever.
"You can see that soon the sun is setting and as you can see the sky is a little cloudy and the snow is falling, tonight is a blue moon night here in Luna Nova, it's a night that I'm going to test you, so stay here for a while, the test will be one of patience until the trial comes, no talking to each other, just try to meditate and maintain inner peace for about three hours, if you manage that I'll pass on the next test, this one will be much more complex and will involve a much more complex mind game" Meditate? What's that? Why are we going to shut up for three hours? Damn, that doesn't sound so good.
Then Woodward disappears as he always does, in a mysterious way, and I haven't even had time to ask him how I'm going to do it, but I think it's a question of maintaining inner peace, relaxing, which I've already seen Croix do by sitting cross-legged on one of the benches, right in the middle of this uncomfortable floor, I was even going to ask her how she does it, but I think I've understood.
I sit down on the floor, close my eyes, take a deep breath and with that I feel like I'm just sleeping, really, the good thing is that I'm already very sleepy, which makes me very sleepy indeed, I slept very badly tonight, I had to stay up until 3am and play.
[...]
Wow, this is strange, I'm in the summer, Croix is getting close to me, she's grabbing my face, I'm blushing, she seems to be calling me, could it be? I didn't expect it to happen so quickly, how strange, she keeps calling me, what a strange thing, she doesn't want to kiss me, why is she holding me like this.
"Chariot! Chariot! Wake up, Chariot!" Was it just a dream? I open my eyes and see that I'm in the tower of Arcturus, my body is aching a little, I think that of all the places I've slept this is the worst.
"Did I sleep?" I ask her and she nods.
"Oh Chariot, you look very tired, I've spent the whole time trying to relax, meditating, but now Woodward will be here soon" I can even see that the sky is dark, with a few clouds and the snow has even stopped falling, all I can see is the beautiful blue moon.
"I really hope Woodward didn't see that, I hope he doesn't give us a hard time about it" Damn, because I had to be tired, the lesson plus the tiredness from sleeping badly at night piled up on me to cause that.
And then she appears, and I look a little sleepy, but I try to pretend that I didn't sleep during the meditation ritual, because I'm just a screw-up, what the hell, I should be more focused, but it's a reason, I think Croix will deserve the real Claiomh Solais, I'm just a blur, I'm terrible as a witch and I should think of a way to change that reality.
She opens her eyes, it looks like something's coming, and I've already got my eyes closed, ready to get my arse kicked.
"It seems that only one of you meditated, the other spent the whole three hours sleeping, a real lack of focus on your part Chariot, I was relying on you to meditate and concentrate body and mind, so I have no choice but to leave you out of the ordeal, please come down from the tower and wait for your friend to come back" She was very direct to the point and I'll just try to talk a little.
"I'm sorry, yesterday I stayed up late, I played a lot of video games, I lost track of time and when I looked up I was overwhelmed with sleep, I just wanted to make up for it in one way, to be as good a witch as Croix is, after all, how can I help being such a bad witch?" I say a little sheepishly.
"The first step is to recognise your mistake, that's the first step to being a better witch and I see that in you Chariot, now go and wait for your friend, she'll go through the ordeal of the blue moon night" I just want to know one more thing.
"Just one last question... The source of Polaris... Is it really meant to unlock the potential of a witch with no potential?" I ask Woodward.
"Now it's clear, next week I'm going to go to the Polaris fountain before I go to Woodward, so I have time to show that I'm the witch who deserves it, and I'm going to work hard in class"
I leave and go downstairs, I'm going to wait for Croix to go through her ordeal, this time I'm going to do the right thing and focus on what I really need to focus on, my mission is to become a better witch, so I'm going to sleep before midnight, I'm going to go to class and pay attention, do the best spells, that's right, I'm going to be a witch worthy of the Polaris fountain.
I'm leaning against the wall of the tree trunk of the Arcturus tower, deep in thought, looking between the leaves with the glow of the blue moon emanating through the gaps between the branches and leaves,
creating a bluish light on the ground, it's a beautiful day, but it's a pity my mobile phone was going to take a photo of it all blown up
[...]
I hear footsteps, it's Croix, I look back, she signals me to go upstairs, which I end up doing, going back to the stairs, going up to where the things are, there was Woodward, she was waiting for me, apparently it's just to finalise things, she was very kind to wait for me, really a lovely person, even if it was just a ghost of her, since the real one died many years ago.
"Okay, that's it for today, Croix has passed the mental test, which I thought she might fail, but nothing in the world made her give in, while Chariot didn't even pass the first test because she ended up sleeping, so this will be kept, next week there won't be a mission, if you come here I won't show up, it will serve as a way for you to reflect a little on what happened today, especially in Croix's head, anyway I'm going now and I wish you both good luck" She left, looking as beautiful as ever.
I could see Croix's expression was even a little serious and apprehensive, she must have passed a test like that, I'll talk to her later, we just waited for her to disappear, Woodward leaving in several butterflies and disappearing into the sky, and then we walked back to Luna Nova, down the tower, it must have been heavy on Meridies' mind.
"Chariot, it's a good thing you didn't pass the first test, this second one was really hard, she promised me a perfect life, where the witches' revolution was happening, the witches used technology, I saw myself there as a great revolutionary, as someone who brought about a new era of magic, it was like a dream, but for that I would have to sacrifice my memories in exchange, everything I had lived through up to this point would be erased, I kept reliving those memories and noticing them fading as I got closer to the goal, it was as if something was pulling me, which I kept doing, I was very scared, I was with everything I wanted most in that reality, but I was resistant, I knew it was an ordeal, it seemed that Woodward was seducing me, he knew all my desires for a better world, but I didn't give in, I wouldn't give in for anything, I knew what was most important" Wow, now I've explained the difficulty, but I think I could handle it too.
"So that's it, now explain your expression of someone who's been through a huge trauma" I say quite shocked.
"Everything to be able to give you a perfect life, I know it's not like that, but I denied everything, I don't want that artificial thing handed to me, so I was strong, I know I can, I know I will, I will conquer these things on my own, that's not the perfect life, that's the future, I will conquer everything, I'm sure Chariot" It's good to see her so motivated and excited, I'm sure she will.
We walk through the ruins, back to our rooms, I look at the Polaris fountain from afar and I have a goal in mind, next week I'll go there and show that I too can be worthy of what's there, I too am a witch who can be very good at something, I won't be a joke as a witch, I'm sure of it.
We walk through the corridors and as always there's that hug separating us, each of us going to our own place, me going to my dormitory and Croix going to hers, I'm already getting there and feeling a little relieved looking at my friends.
"You took your time Chariot, where were you?" Daniella asks.
"She must be enjoying herself with Croix, I'm sure, these two are very fond of each other" Becca says and I blush.
"I didn't go to enjoy anything" I say embarrassed.
"Oh there's no need to be embarrassed, go and talk to us, you and Croix have something I know about, the whole school knows about it, the first year klutz who gave a marvellous performance and the second year prodigy are together, everyone wonders about it, who would have thought that there would be a very unlikely couple" I blush and deny it, there's nothing like that.
"No! Croix and I have nothing! We're just friends and very close friends, no big deal, you're thinking up too many stories in your heads, she's just someone very close to me, she's the daughter of my mum's best friend so that makes us close, but nothing more than that" They still laugh.
"Best friend? I'm not fooled by this friend stuff, am I? I don't doubt that your mum and this friend must have had a lot of fun together" Even Parker got that provocative, seriously, the most serious girl of us, she's making such a fuss.
"No, it has nothing to do with it, it's almost incest to say something like that, my mum and Aunt April are almost sisters, they're just from different families, but they're still close, anyway, now if you don't mind, I'm really going to think about something else" I say, picking up some books.
"Hmmmmm, you're not really going to tell Croix anything, are you? Well, we're hungry for gossip, so you leave it all out, it's really a pain" They even get sulky.
I'm going to stop talking and focus, today I'm going to become a more focused student, that's right I'm going to become a better student, I'm going to pay attention to the books and become someone dedicated, I'm sure I will, when I come back next week the polaris fountain will make me someone better, since I'm a disaster of a witch, I'll even show up with the replica of Claiomh Solais, who knows so the fountain doesn't recognise the power of the replica.
[...]
I'm an idiot, because I ended up playing, I only spent twenty minutes focussing on magical numerology and now this? I'm really tempted, I look at Ronaldo Kart and I want to play with Becca, ahhhh, I hope I can focus better on my real studies, then I won't be embarrassed, because I'm always like that? Damn, I'm really showing that I can, it's a new year, I'm a new Chariot.
But this is so much fun, it relaxes the mind, numerology is boring shit, it's always unbearable here, I think I'll only be able to study with Croix is this, maybe that way I can focus.
"So, Chariot, it looks like you didn't really go and study like you said you would" said Daniella.
"It's Friday, there's no point in studying, she's right to come and play with me now, we've got to rest, then we'll think about doing lessons, this is all a bore, going from book to book, it'll just overload your head" Becca said and I'm feeling guiltier.
"Whatever, Chariot should study anyway, she's not doing well at all, her grades are almost on the verge of failing, if she doesn't improve this term, you can be sure that in the summer she won't pass and Luna Nova doesn't allow failing pupils, once you've failed at Luna Nova, you've failed forever, so be on your guard at all times, do the work you have to do, study, because from now on the teachers are going to get tougher" Parker said and I even swallowed saliva.
"I'll try, I swear I will, I want to be a better student, but the temptations, everything is too hard, I've barely won these gifts of games and I can't even enjoy them all, while... I just see a way, maybe Croix will help" And here they are starting to tease.
I just mentioned Croix, it's no big deal, she's my friend, but I'm going to focus on studying, tomorrow I'm going to her room, and I'm going to try to learn something, maybe I can improve enough, I'm not worried about passing the year, in fact just a little for the money I spent to study here, it was hard work, but also because I want the power of the Polaris fountain.
[...]
I wake up early, I'm having breakfast, I fill my stomach, I see that the girls are asleep, well it's time to focus, that's it I'm going to show that I'm a very focused student, I'm Chariot Du Nord, an exemplary girl, that's right, I won't be embarrassed anymore, I'm a witch with potential, I'm sure I won't fail.
I leave the room, still in my pyjamas, and walk through the corridors, seeing that there's no one there, I think it must be very early, I look at the clock and it's 8:10, it's still very early, which is good, who gets up early, gets up early, or whatever you call it, I just know that I'm going to have more time studying and then I'm going to enjoy the whole afternoon playing
I get to the door of the lilac room and start knocking on the door, all excited, I hope Croix will answer me, but I wait for a while and nothing, so I knock again, and I keep going from one side to the other just waiting, but nothing, I call for Croix and knock on the door, I think she answers now, it took a while I was even going to knock again, but I see that she opens the
"Chariot, I don't even know what time it is, it's Saturday, why did you wake me up so early?" She said, exhausted and with dark circles under her eyes, I think someone was up for a long time.
"Oh I'm sorry Croix you've only just woken up, I just wanted your help, to ask you to strengthen me in my studies, so I can become a better witch" I say to her who closes the door in my face.
"Ahn? Croix? Croix!" I'm still knocking on the door.
I stay like that for a while, maybe she'll answer and help me, which I even see my friend opening again, looking like a dead fish and at the same time with anger in her eyes, I think I've been very inconvenienced by all this, I shouldn't have upset her so much.
She even left the room, stood a little still, held me by the shoulder and then took me against the wall, her hair messy and her glasses showing her pupils much smaller, it was easy to see the anger coming from her.
"Why the fuck did you come and disturb me at quarter past eight in the morning, Chariot Du Nord? Don't you see that I want to sleep and rest, I've only come now because if I don't my mates will eat my arse later, they don't like me any more and you come to disturb me? For the sake of the nine lesbian witches, say what you want!" I think I've really messed up, I even feel guilty.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I wanted to ask you to help me with my studies, as I'm a bit of a disaster when it comes to magic, but never mind, you can go to sleep" I think she's even angrier.
"Sleep? Now we're going to study, that's it, come with me, you'll wake me up from my sleep, you'll make me do all this and you'll let it go, but now we're going to study, only later I'll charge you for it, I want to go round the city and go to Mcdonald's, you'll buy me a snack, that's it" Woah, it's okay, I think I overdid it a bit, I shouldn't have acted so impulsively.
And off we go, with her pushing my hand, both of us in our pyjamas, I hope nobody really looks at us like that, we'll embarrass ourselves in the newspaper because of it, I really am a bit of a pain sometimes, I should have slept a bit more, but at least I'll try to focus on studying, I'm sure, I even went to bed at midnight last night.
We get to the library, there's no-one there apart from the librarian herself and we go up the stairs, where she finally lets me go and I sit down in the chair, I'm actually relieved, I could see the look of anger coming from her, I'm really sorry.
"Now let's study for real, what do you want to learn now? Numerology? Potions? History? Herbology? Just say it, we're going to spend four hours focussing on just that and I want to see your head work, then we'll go into town" I was getting a bit embarrassed.
"I think history, we can start lightly, can't we?" I say, scratching the back of my head.
"Numerology? Ah good to know, now sit your arse down and I'll teach you and if you don't turn out to be an Albert Einstein I won't be called Croix Meridies" She picked up the books and they made a noise when she dropped them on the table, which I swallowed my saliva.
[...]
What's that? So numerology is just maths done in the most idiotic way, the whole time I was scrambling to understand it, but it's just a longer process to do things I already knew from maths? That was it, until Croix became more animated and I realised that, after the scolding, I think that now at least in one class I can do well, I'm sure I won't cause a disaster.
Just then the numerology lesson got interesting, I think I understood her way of interpreting these things, but it's still a different way of doing maths.
"Now it's time, I've already taught too much for today, tomorrow it's good that you're in the library at the same time, and don't try to wake me up, we'll focus on learning about history, for the same price, except I'll want to eat at KFC tomorrow - OK, I think I'll accept the offer, even if I pay for everything, I'll study with a reward.
"All right Croix, let's get changed, I can't stand being in my pyjamas any more" I say to her.
"Pyjamas? Damn it, Chariot, I was so sleepy I forgot to change my pyjamas, I'm wearing trousers" I don't understand anything, I'm confused.
"What's wrong with trousers Croix? I'm worried too" she says.
"Help me to the bedroom, I don't want anyone to look at my trousers, I forgot to... You know, hide what I've got... I don't want anyone to find out anything different about me" I think I understand, I'll try to help.
"But what about magic, can't you hide it?" I ask her.
"There's a trail of magic and then people really look, let's go to my room, after I change we'll go out together, you change too, see you in Glastonbury Square" said Croix.
We're leaving the library, there are still very few people, and Croix is walking very close to me, which makes people stare even more, I feel something close to me too, touching my hip, she's walking so close that I feel it, by the nine witches, I'm blushing.
"Not so close Croix, you can feel it" It's quite strange, I never thought I'd have a girl like that.
"I'm sorry Chariot, I'm nervous, no one can know my secret here" I know, but this thing almost touching me is strange, it's all soft and cuddly, but I'd better not think about it, my head feels strange when I think about things like that.
We see the girls looking at us, and we see strange looks, until we get to the bedroom and I'm relieved, I open the door and she can go and get changed, that was a strange moment, I never thought I'd be so close to Croix, especially as they'll think we're girlfriends now, that's really fucked up.
I walk back to my room, with this thought in my head, it was only once, but I felt a little rub from that thing, it's soft, touching me, don't think Chariot, you can't think about the middle of another girl's legs, there's no reason to think about it, it's disgusting, where the pee comes from, that's it Chariot, now it's disgusting, I even take a deep breath and go back to my room, where I see that my mates aren't there.
[...]
Croix arrives in the square, now we're in uniform, we'll be able to go out to McDonald's, I hope there's still the good old McDonald's where I used to go, it brings back memories of when I was a child, she even hugs me and it seems like I've done something so important, I find it strange, out of the blue she was angry that I was awake and now she's happy.
"Thanks for that Chariot, my secret is my biggest fear, I don't want anyone to find out that I really am that" she says and I'm confused.
"What's wrong with that? You're you Croix" I say confused.
"In reality there are a lot of problems, the moment they find out what you have between your legs is different from what they think a person should have, they treat you differently, they start to see me as a dangerous person, as if I were an angry beast that is thirsty for non-consensual contact, which is not true, they never see me as I really am, they start to see me as the reproductive male of the species, believe me the reaction of these people is already not the best when they find out I'm a lesbian, it gets worse if I say the other thing, which makes me even ashamed to say it... All I want is for 2008 to come soon so I can have surgery and never have this thing happen again, to be who I really am" I know what it's like, I don't understand what she's saying, but I'm well aware of the prejudice.
"I understand you Croix, that's why I'm with you, you don't have to be ashamed of what you are with me, to me you are and always will be Croix, regardless of what's between your legs or not, you're not a freak, you're beautiful and a marvellous person" I'll always tell her that.
"You don't know how words like that fill my heart, I really feel a bit silly, receiving positive attention like this is something I'm still not used to, but anyway, let's go to McDonald's, let's eat and go for a walk, enjoy the day, even though it's not the most beautiful with this snow outside, you can still enjoy the day" she nods.
We're walking together and I see the city, I stare at her hand and decide to hold it as I see her blush with embarrassment, I just blushed a little, it's just that it's so cold that it's better to hold her hand, to feel safer that way, as well as warming up a bit, I just want to enjoy the day with Croix, I was such a jerk earlier today, I want to make up for something.
"Well, the year has already started and I failed the first test, so I started to focus more on the mission ofbecoming a better witch, maybe that way I wouldn't be embarrassed and also by using the polaris fountain Icould use my magic better for my presentations, it was all being planned, I knew I had to start somehow, Iwas waiting for everything to fall into place so that I could begin my mission to become a great witch, you'llsoon find out about the polaris fountain, as you remember Akko didn't get the magic from it, but you'll find outwhat really happened to me, because it's not that easy to get magic from anyway."
See you, new year witches...