Saturday 5 April 2008, Luna Nova
"The spring holidays were a good point to get an idea of how to deal with the situation regarding my career, Imanaged to talk a bit about it and plan to be able to make my return to the stage, even though I couldn'trehearse, I was already starting to script some things and we even spent a few days finding a way to buy anew bus, which, in the end, I managed to get, spending some of the money I'd earned performing on abeautiful bus like that. Anyway, classes were soon back in session and the days were going to get back tonormal, now it was time for the last term at Luna Nova, my graduation, I was going to study and give my allto get a diploma."
It's been a while since I've been to therapy because of my trip to Ireland, but I've managed to reschedule my appointments, I can't wait to see if I'm making any progress, I'm going to tell her about my holidays, we arrive at the clinic, always accompanied by my girlfriend, where she waits and I'm soon being seen by the doctor, I want to tell her a lot about my improvements.
I get to her room and I'm already getting more comfortable in my seat, I even take a deep breath, looking around, I've been missing this room, in a way coming here makes me feel a bit good, I don't know why.
"Good morning Chariot, you've finally returned to therapy, I've really been waiting for you to do this, how have your weeks been? You really enjoyed your spring holidays, from the look on your face you're really enjoying these days and doing everything we talked about" I nod my head in agreement.
"These days I've spent on holiday have been great, it's always great, I'm increasingly free of thoughts about my ex-girlfriend who affected me so much, starting to do new things has really helped me to create some good memories living with these girls and to detach myself more from Croix, little by little I'm succeeding, even my feelings for Daniella are becoming more intense" I say to her and she smiles.
"That's very good, we're making progress and that's very much to your benefit, but are you really seeing yourself better? That's what I want to know" I nod.
"I'm gradually managing to control some of my old addictions, such as smoking and everything else, thanks to these moments that I spend with my friends, I often still have anxiety attacks that make me go back to using them, since there's no medicine that helps in some cases" I finally told her about smoking, I think this time things will change a lot.
"Oh, you're so young and you're already smoking, that's a very serious thing to deal with, have you considered using nicotine patches to try to stop smoking and gradually letting go of these things? It's not a healthy habit and we have to think about it a lot, do you also have other habits?" Unfortunately there are times when it's stronger than me.
"I'd really like to stop smoking because my girlfriend always gets very upset, not being able to kiss her at those times really messes me up, I don't use anything else apart from cigarettes, I only occasionally drink and once in a while I use cannabis, but that's quite eventually" I say nodding towards the psychologist.
"We'll have to see about that, after all I understand that it must be very much the impulse of someone who's barely out of adolescence and must still be in her head, with these desires to do these things, but that's not entirely healthy, you use these substances when you're with friends don't you? It's like a way of socialising?" It's almost like that really.
"Apart from cigarettes, the others are fine, except for drink, which I only end up drinking on my own sometimes when I'm really unwell, unfortunately every time I put it in my mouth I remember my father and that makes me regret it, I don't want to be like him who has done so much to me and is still a drunk of the worst kind" She just nods.
"That's what we're going to see, you have to control these addictions and entertain yourself with new things, have you been doing what was on your list of things to do with your friends that you told me and showed me?" I nod my head in agreement.
"Unfortunately I've done it all, I've been rollerblading, I've been skateboarding, I've taught my girlfriend how to ride a bike, I've tried to get out more in the city and go to attractions, we're even thinking about going to an amusement park maybe, but then the ideas ran out, I spent the spring holidays mostly thinking about Shiny Chariot" I mean really bored.
"Look, I think we could do a few more things. Have you thought about painting? You could all get together and paint something on canvas, or even do some karaoke together? Maybe you could also get together for a
clay sculpture workshop, it's fun to mess around with these things, you have even more potential as witches" I put my hand on my chin.
"Karoke is out of the question, my ex-girlfriend used to do it when we had a party, but the idea of paintings could be a good one, I think you've even given me ideas of things here to put my creativity into practice" I say excitedly.
"We can talk about it some more and then you can fill up your list until you get to the summer and experience the new things you've always wanted to experience" I nod my head in agreement.
It's already been added to the list, we can do it this weekend, I still have a lot of money left over from the presentations that I think I'll use for these new and different events, we can even go out and go to an amusement park as well, take a train and everything, we can also go out to a shopping centre, go to a paintball field.
[...]
The consultation was very good, it gave me lots of ideas that I can put into practice, it might be fun to try this with the girls, we'll be able to get away from the routine a bit more, maybe it can be useful for something, I'll leave the consultation already booked for the following week and then I'll go with my girlfriend leaving the clinic.
"Today we're going to buy some canvases, love" I say to her.
"Screens? What do you mean? What are you thinking of doing?" Asks my girlfriend.
"We're going to buy some canvases to make paintings, all of us together in the bedroom painting something and then showing it off, I've also thought of a great idea here, it's a game that consists of guessing what the other person is drawing and we can use the board for that, then calculate the points, or make a roulette wheel with things that we'll mix up by drawing, today I want to unleash the artist in me" I say all inspired to Daniella.
"This is something new and very interesting, I want to see my girlfriend happy and full of ideas like this, it's the best thing to do" said Parker and I smiled.
"That's what the weekend will be for, to let go a bit of studying and be freer about it" I say more cheerfully.
"I think it's a good idea, but I still want to study on Friday, you can't escape that Chariot Du Nord" All right, as long as we can have fun at the end, I think this year has been better than 2007.
Honestly it's so much better, I never thought I'd have so much fun even without Croix, it's like I have that feeling when I was younger, or when things were fine, having friends, having a good time in Luna Nova, I think it was the best year I've had, I don't need that woman nagging me to make the school year horrible. We soon arrived at an art studio and were asked to pick up some canvases, at least enough to go round, which we got our hands on, not only were there lots of canvases and easels that we could shrink with magic, but also paint and everything else, I'm going to feel like the real Van Gogh today
"Look, you want to become artists with all this" said the shop assistant.
"This is just so we can relax" I say, smiling.
"It's great to see that the new generation is still interested and fascinated by art, to see you excited about doing it, which is wonderful, it's lovely, oh look if it isn't you, I didn't recognise you by your longer hair, are you Shiny Chariot?" I get a bit silly.
"I'm Chariot Du Nord, but yes, I'm her..." I say, swallowing my saliva.
"How marvellous, I have enormous admiration for those who show an artistic side to magic like yours, I've been able to watch your presentations on the internet and I'm impressed by the details and the heart you put into them, it's a detail of art that enchants, that's exciting to see, but so many canvases like that, what would be the point? Are you thinking of giving up your already beautiful presentations to draw?" I deny it with my head.
"I'm going to perform again when I graduate, then I'll think about it, all these canvases are for my friends" I say smiling.
"Oh, you're leading your friends down the right path of art, that's really nice to see, well here's everything you asked for and everything I know that can help your friends, have a good time with art, I'm sure you'll enjoy spending the day like this" I'm even happy.
I pay for the things in the art shop, it was a nice chat, I'm actually relieved when someone knows me positively, I really have a load of stuff, whew... I'm always afraid they'll identify me and associate me with a disastrous presentation, so now let's go to Luna Nova, the girls will love this.
We took the line to Ley and when we landed there were already some girls waiting for us, so we waved to them and joined the group, heading for the room, already with an idea of what to do, even though they had no idea what was coming, of all the many ideas I had here.
"So what are we going to do today? What did you think of?" Patricia asked, and I quickly took the things out of the bag.
"Move away a bit because it's a lot" I say, leaving everything well grouped.
"What did you bring? I've already seen the bags and I don't understand anything" Tsugumi said and I started using magic to make everything return to normal size, it was already very heavy to carry everything like that, finally a relief.
"Oh, so that's it? Are we going to make art?" Said the curious Williams.
"Exactly, that was my idea, what did you think?" I ask them.
"So who's going to stand naked in the middle while we try to draw, we could have a birth of Venus with Chariot being drawn" Brooke says and I blush in denial.
"Let's not do that, it's not a good idea" I say embarrassed.
"This is quite normal in art classes at colleges, from what I've heard, so if we're not going to draw it, what are we going to come up with?" Seriously, I think I know.
"You don't have to make me totally unclothed, you know I can be drawn, what do you think, I'll strike a pose and you copy, let's see who makes the best Shiny Chariot" They all agree.
I grab a Shiny Chariot costume that I've kept in a cupboard, I quickly go to the bathroom to change, I look at myself in the mirror and I'm really happy, it's a new activity, I admit that sitting still for a while isn't going to be that exciting, but let's see what they can do, I think some of them already look like they have a talent for art. Having changed, I take a deep breath, it brings back such good memories of when I was still presenting in a simpler way and just starting out, well come on, this outfit from last year still fits perfectly, I leave the bathroom and get into a pose, in front of the canvases that are growing around me.
"Now let's see who will make the best Shiny Chariot" say the girls.
"How do you want me to pose?" I ask them.
"Well, can you do the classic pose?" I nod my head in agreement.
I'm holding the hat and standing on tiptoe and they say no with their heads, so I do another one where I stand with my legs crossed and my arms open, they nod more positively, I think that's a good one, but they still say no with their heads, I think I'll try another more basic pose, this one looks like I'm walking and holding the hat, facing forwards and they're more accepting.
"Stay in that Chariot it's perfect" Well, it's very similar to the first one I tried.
"Don't move too much" That's going to be difficult, something's going to itch.
I hope it's as soon as possible, because I came up with an idea like that when I'm visibly standing around doing nothing for a while while they're drawing me, with what people like to do that in the greatest discomfort and naked on top of that, imagine the cold that must not hit the body, what it already hits wearing these clothes, it's something intriguing, even for the nine witches.
Well, they're having fun and so am I, that's what's interesting, at least that's what I see them doing, really trying hard to draw me, I hope you don't see too much, I hope my old outfit doesn't show too much either, it's a bit too tight.
[...]
I'm tired, I soon see everyone signalling, which is a relief, I never imagined it would take so long, I don't even know how long I've been standing here, it's good that they've used magic to help a bit, less bad, they've been turning the paintings over and wow, there's a good variation, some that were done in a hurry, but others that look like a monalisa.
- Tsugumi, where did you learn to be so talented?" I ask her because the painting is worthy of a museum.
"I've drawn a lot in my life, I've done paintings too, and I've often made a bit of money from it" said the smiling Fujiwara.
"You too Eun, I like my anime style version, it's very peculiar, something very new" I say when I see that style in a painting.
"I wanted to be more different, but it was labour-intensive, even though it was with paint, I wanted to use a form that was more my own" I realised.
"Well congratulations, you're all marvellous, let's let these paintings dry and do something new, I've been thinking about drawing roulette" I say excitedly.
"What would a drawing roulette be?" I'll show it to you and it'll be more interesting.
"Next, we'll each choose two things on this roulette wheel, there are 16 things here, these sixteen things will be drawn by us, but there will be a fusion of them, so if Goku and Batman come up, we'll draw a fusion of them, understand?" That's the idea I had for these things.
"Ah that's interesting, so we can choose two things each for this fusion, it can be anything? Even yourself Chariot" I nod.
There they go writing things on the roulette wheel, which I pass on to each one to write down with the marking pen, I just look at everything, I've already marked mine, I've put Sailor Moon and Goku, I've taken the ones I wanted the most, they pass them one by one of each, I'm getting things ready and giving them some notebooks so they can draw, as well as setting up a table, I've even prepared my magic to make it create these table divisions so that no one can know what the other is drawing, so far so good, I've even left things like pencils and erasers, sharpeners and coloured pencils for each one, I've spent a lot to make it interesting.
"And how long will Chariot be?" Patricia asks.
"Fifteen minutes per drawing, which I'll time as soon as the roulette wheel hits something" I tell them, and they nod in agreement.
"Don't you think that's too long?" I think it's long enough.
"Trust me, you'll feel it when the drawings you've done don't even have time to be done" I tell them, shrugging.
I take a look at the roulette wheel and there are lots of interesting things, Doraemon, Mickey Mouse, Shiny Chariot, I knew I'd get in the middle, Demon, Goku, Thundercats, Ninja Turtles, Sailor Moon, Sakura Card Captor, Hamtaro, Saint Seiya, Naruto, Luffy, Furry, Assassin, Joker, Batman, well those are the sixteen things they asked for.
I'm putting them on the roulette wheel and I can't wait to see the results, we roll the first time and end up with Shiny Chariot and then Sailor Moon, seriously I'm going to have to draw myself, it's almost the same thing in the end
"Look, you've already fallen on the first one, I'm going to time you here, the fifteen minutes start now, no one can see what the other one is drawing" I say, creating a barrier so no one can see and tapping the timer.
"Shiny Chariot and Sailor Moon, everyone already knows what they are" it's bizarre to talk about me like that in the third person.
Come on, it's been a while since I've drawn this much, finally I'm not going to stand still as a model at least, I'm going to do something really interesting, I'm going to be Sailor Moon all fluffy, I never thought I'd draw
myself this much, I'm going to do all the detailing, to see if it's any good, it only takes fifteen minutes, I'm sure you girls have no idea how fast it flies by.
[...]
The alarm went off and the partitions were lowered, and I could already see that they had drawn several pictures. I said that the fifteen minutes flew by, so much so that I only coloured quickly, I even show the girls how mine turned out and everyone is stunned, even though it's just a drawing of nothing.
"Wow Chariot, I didn't realise you could draw so well, it's like you're part of Sailor Moon like that" said Tsugumi.
"I learned to draw only in the style of Sailor Moon, it was one of my favourite anime as a child, I always watched it and kept drawing one by one, until I learned the style a lot, I love it, that's why it came out so quickly and full of details" I tell them.
"You humiliated us, but look how it turned out" said my girlfriend, who showed us her style.
It wasn't bad really, I thought it was as good as mine, the other girls did too, I thought they each had a lot of talent, they didn't have as much time to draw from what I could see, but that's something, I'm sure it was very good anyway, anyway, I guess I'll see how things turn out.
"I think Chariot won that one, didn't she?" Patricia asks and they all nod.
"You were all marvellous" I say, scratching the back of my neck.
"And where did that winnings come from?" My girlfriend asks.
"If we had a vote on who made the best one, would that work?" I think it would be interesting.
"I like the idea, but spin the wheel and I'll see what we do" said Tsugumi, and the wheel spun, landing on Shiny Chariot again.
"Me again?" I stare in disbelief and the roulette wheel spins once more, this time it lands on Joker, I think I'm about to become like that too.
"Perfect!" They all say.
"I'm serious, girls" I say with my hand on my forehead.
Everyone nods in agreement and well, there's no way, I think I'm going to have to play the Joker, I'm going to go crazy like that, but I honestly don't know how in real life I didn't end up like that too, the way things only end up being like that with me, come on, I'll do the Shiny Joker now, for the nine witches, or I can do the Joker in a Shiny Chariot outfit, forget it, I'll do it anyway, it'll be more comical. Society is about believing in itself.
[...]
Wow, I had a lot of fun drawing here, it was bizarre, I liked Tsugumi's version that made me a joker to the point of madness, she really deserved to win, I also liked Eun's Batman Doraemon, there were many marvellous drawings, I think we've been playing with it too much, I can even see that the girls have tired hands.
"Wow, that was really tiring to do, but it was fun" I say laughing.
"I don't think I can really compete with Eun, Tsugumi and Chariot, you three draw very well, how can you?" I just shrug.
"I've been drawing since I was a child and I only know a lot about Sailor Moon, but I try my hand at other things too, I draw a lot and I've always loved drawing, that's why I get the inspiration for my shows, I make some really neat storyboards, but what do you say we take a break to eat, then we'll get back to drawing more" They all agree.
"There have been so many drawing fusions that my hands are getting tired, but do you have any other ideas, Chariot?" Eun asks.
"The one about guessing what the other person is drawing, so one at a time you can rest, we'll do it on a board, so it's better to erase everything with the ink mark from the pen, and it's quicker too" I'm even preparing myself for this and I take a lot of deep breaths.
"We do it after we've eaten" we'll even get some soft drinks and crisps, and put something on the telly to watch.
We've put on a Tom & Jerry DVD and we're having a laugh eating the crisps, also having a soft drink and wow, what a fun day it's been, we don't really need to drink or wear anything else for these things to be as fun as they are, it's really been a good decision to try new things, I've been able to get a lot more excited about everything, even though I'm still a bit down about my Shiny Chariot career.
I can still have a moment of happiness and I don't really know how to enjoy it, because it keeps happening, these girls are wonderful friends, they've been the best I've met in this time, I've been able to enjoy the last year of Luna Nova in the best possible way.
"Wow, seriously, you're marvellous friends" I say, smiling at them and laughing a little.
"You're Chariot, we never thought we'd be friends with Shiny Chariot and best of all she's cooler than I imagined, she's amazing" said Eun.
"I'm just being myself, you're getting to know the real Chariot Du Nord that the stage doesn't show, that's the best thing of all, I'm being able to be myself, I'm not playing a character" I say happily.
"You've been the best friend we've ever had, thank you for everything, Chariot" said Patricia.
"I thank you for meeting me" I say to the girls.
I don't think I really have anything to complain about, I'm not going to be sad about it, the atmosphere here is friendly and wonderful, but why am I forcing myself to be happy so much, why do I still have this feeling, as if I'm not being happy being like this, but I am, I have plenty of reasons? It's bizarre.
We finish eating, and then someone comes to the picture, it's Ryouko, I just want to see what she's going to draw here, she's making some lines and I'm already thinking about what to guess until I've realised a few things, that's interesting.
"It's a cat" I say and she gives me the thumbs up sign.
"How did you guess that so quickly?" said the surprised Tsugumi, and I'm going to go and score a point for having guessed right.
Now I know what to do, I make an E, then an S, an M and two Ws, I'm just waiting for them to guess what it is, I'd seen this at Aunt April's house, she likes to watch this stuff in Spanish, I thought it was a very good reference to bring, if they were Latinas they'd be able to guess it easily, but I don't think they know it until Becca raises her hand.
"That's a pig, I'm not that silly Chariot, you took a reference from a Mexican TV programme that my friend showed me, it's very funny" Leyland says and I turn round to show her and even look at her.
"I don't care if it turns into a pig, how did you expect us to know that?" Tsugumi said.
"Chariot must have Latin friends, I have a Mexican friend who watches Chavo Del 8, that's why I got the reference" said the blonde who took my place.
I had a good laugh, I don't have any Latin friends, but Mrs Jordan is the daughter of an Argentinian, she understands some of these references because of that, it's interesting to see how easily someone can figure that out, well I still have no idea what Becca is doing, but interesting nonetheless.
[...]
I think today was a very busy day, we drew so much that our wrists hurt, well I think I'm going to rest for tonight, I'll even lie in my bed with Daniella and the girls will stay on the mattresses left on the floor because that's all the space we have in the room to accommodate them, well that was a fun Saturday.
"So, love, did you enjoy yourself today?" I nod my head.
"Look, the psychologist lit a lot of lamps in my head, I really thought about a lot of things when she showed me the ideas and I put them into practice, for the nine witches, I think I can say that this was the best school year I've ever had" I say excitedly.
"We pulled out a weed and now the field can flourish, that's what happened in the end, it was quite right for her to graduate and go somewhere else" said my girlfriend.
"Not to mention, being with you only makes things better, you've been the best girlfriend anyone could have, such a marvellous, patient, understanding woman, someone who has matured a lot, I've been able to follow all this maturing of yours, it's been like magic, really, you're too good for this world" I say to her who touches my nose.
"I think you're putting it too high, but I'm grateful for the compliments, I just think you're too good for this world, things have been very unfair to you, yet you've been the one who's been fighting the good fight all along, it's not the same as Croix, she's always had everything handed to her and she doesn't really know what it's like to suffer in order to get what she wants, she has a certain understanding of this based on herself, you on the other hand value this and you've been the hard worker, since before you came here I could see how you were already controversial and gave it your all" Daniella said.
"Are you practising a speech for our graduation?" I ask her and she laughs.
"Not at all, love, I'm just pointing out facts, Croix is a spoilt brat" she's not like that.
"Oh Croix, she ran after her things to get where she is, it wasn't like that, love, she ran away from home when she was very young with the little money she had left" I say to her.
"Croix was lucky all the same, she didn't know how to appreciate how lucky she was, even her mum said it was lucky and coincidental that everything happened for her to be adopted, I don't think she suffered even a tenth of what you've suffered to get here, she still left with a lot of the money from the presentations and went there to graduate from an expensive college to inflate her CV and think she was the last biscuit in the packet" Let's not talk about that woman, that's better.
"Never mind Croix, let her talk to herself" I say, trying to change things.
My girlfriend got the message, so we stopped talking and let sleep take us, who would have thought that a day like this would be so full of fun events, but in a way, as I know Croix's past, I know it wasn't easy, she had a hard life when I was having the easiest life in the world, I think things are the same there, worse that she was much more of a child than me when life was hell, the fact that she didn't have a childhood weighs a lot more than the end of my childhood living with my father.
"I spent my weeks like this in Luna Nova, always trying new things to amuse myself and most of the time itworked, it was nice to see what I did with my friends, I just couldn't get a genuine feeling of happiness andthat really got to me, I was chasing it a lot and my friends were happy and I just had a closed smile, trying toforce something, I just didn't understand why."
See you, new witches...