Monday 19 June 2006, Dalystown, Ireland
"Well, the first day was the most memorable without a doubt, but there's still a long way to go in thesedays that I've spent in this place, where I'm going to tell you every part of it, I've really enjoyed myself andI've become more relaxed, taking my mind off the presentations, well anyway, let's go on a few moreadventures as this will make you want to tell these stories to the girls, I'm sure they'll be very attracted tothe idea of visiting this place, that's for sure."
I wake up, I'm in front of Croix, very early in the morning, she's so cute in her pyjamas, I think I had the most bizarre dream where I lay down with Croix and a lot happened, I slept with my girlfriend, in a room of our own, it's so cute, I kiss her forehead and she wakes up and kisses me on the lips too, with a smile on her face, running her hand across it.
"Good morning my love, I love you very much" she said, being all romantic and I smiled back.
"I love you too" I say a little sleepily.
We get up, I walk to the bathroom where I start to brush my teeth and do my personal hygiene, only to be hugged from behind by my girlfriend, who smiles and then she brushes her teeth too, and then I go on to do the rest of my morning things, which gives me a little extra comfort.
When I come out of the bathroom, I go back to my room, still very sleepy and look at the bed, stretching out, I'm just going to wait for Croix, I want to go hand in hand with her downstairs to the kitchen, I hope there's food there to eat, I'm hugged again by my girlfriend who is very sleepy, today she decided to be very clingy, how cute.
"Looks like someone's head is still full of memories, doesn't it?" She says, and I blush a little.
"So it wasn't a dream?" I say a little confused.
"I think it was a dream come true, but it definitely wasn't" I'm a little shocked, but then I turn to Meridies and grab her face, going to give her a few kisses on the cheek.
"Let's get going my love, I'm hungry now" she smiled back at me and we left the room hand in hand.
We even put on matching slippers, went through the corridors, then up the stairs, walking a bit sleepily, I even thought about slipping on the stairs, but I'll do it right and go down normally, so I got to the dining room and there were already a few people there, as well as a lot of food scattered around, so my girlfriend and I sat down at the table and soon I could see some smiles coming from our mums.
"What a long night you've had, eh?" My mum Laura said.
"Uh, what do you mean, Mum?" I say a little embarrassed.
"The couple really consummated the union, didn't they," said my aunt April.
"Mum!" I don't understand anything.
"Bernadette and I were in the next room and I could hear some of the noise, I definitely know what happened, but it's okay girls, it's a couple thing, it's your puberty, I can understand it, anyway, I hope you're all right now, you don't have to tell us any details about what happened, I just ask you to take care of yourselves" They heard us... Shame on me, I'm hiding my face.
"There's no need to be embarrassed, it's completely normal, you're a couple, you were in your prime and you showed your love for each other, but let's avoid talking about it too much, after all, we're eating" said Mum Bernadette, and she's right, it's better not to talk about it.
I'm already taking some toast and buttering it, which I put in a toaster, I love doing this, waiting for it to pop out all warmed up, while I'm also eating some fruit, looking at Croix's face, which was frozen with so much colour, I don't think she really expected that reaction from her.
She's the one who knows these things best, the toast is soon ready and jumps out of the machine, I take it and pass some jelly, while I also give some of it to my girlfriend who opens her mouth and eats, a cutie, I go back to eating, drinking some milk and sharing the food with my Meridies, our mums looking at us both still with a smile, I get really embarrassed just thinking that they know too much, did I go too far with that? I don't know, but it was a marvellous moment.
"Today we're going into town, me and you, for a walk and maybe to pester my cousin to see if he'll want to play a game against us, since we've decided to make peace lately" said Mum Laura.
"Last year there was hardly any family competitions, it could really come back, it would be fun, with Chariot it will be interesting to see what happens, the last two you could hardly take part in because of those two little creatures" said Mum Bernadette.
"Not being able to take part because I was pregnant made us miss the 2004 and 2003 gymkhanas badly, but we're going to come back with everything, now with me not pregnant and with my Chariot it's going to be interesting" Mum said as I was eating.
I finish eating since I've eaten practically everything, I'm quite full, so I get up from the table, satisfied with my meal, with my girlfriend, so the two of us go to play, since there are still a few people who haven't woken up, apparently all the Morrises are still asleep, Meg too, I must have woken up too early apparently.
I sit down on the sofa in the living room and switch on SphereGame, going to play a bit with my Croix, we put on Ronaldo Kart, while the older ones are still eating and also looking after the two little ones, it's fun to play like this in the morning
[...]
It's half past nine in the morning, we've been playing for a while and so far all that's left is for Phoebe to wake up, I don't think she's going to wake up that early after everything, which my mum Laura comes up to me and Croix playing with the sound of keys jangling which means we're going out, this is going to be fun, she then throws the key into my hand and I'm a bit confused.
"We're going to the town of Chariot, you'll drive the car there, you know how to drive don't you?" I learnt a bit from Mum when I was younger and also in France on my own.
"Me driving? I know, but I'm not too young to..." I just see her make a silent sound with her mouth and shrug.
"Croix used to drive for me sometimes too, I taught her, you may still remember what I taught her when I was nine, it's easy, no one here in town cares if you can drive or not, in fact at your age I used to drive around here in cars and on motorbikes, even younger than you, really, so shall we?" I smile and stop playing.
I get up from the sofa with Croix and we go to the car, we sit in the front seat, my mum Laura goes in the back seat with mum Bernadette, I start the car and well, it's not a complicated spaceship, it's the same as every car, all I have to do is step on the clutch, put it into first gear, pull the handbrake and off I go, which I did, I managed to get out, but I ended up stepping on it a bit too much, which all I felt was the earth being scattered behind me, as well as the kick the car gave.
"Tread more lightly girl, the car is strong, you don't need to step on it too much, I don't know what car you'd take in France to try and drive, but this one has plenty of power to get away without stepping on it too much" I realise how much you don't need to.
"Hahahaha, I just wanted to see your reaction, it was the same with me when I rode in this car, I got a very scary kick that made me glue myself to the seat, I had learnt to drive in an old Morris Mini that my mum had and she said it's easy, when I stepped on the accelerator I saw that Mrs McLaren just wanted to have a good laugh" Well now I know to take it easy on the accelerator, that's it then.
I'm adjusting other things in the car and even moving the seats further apart, as it's made for my mum who is short but can still reach the pedals, I'm leaving the estate, where the gate is magically opened and so we finally enter the part where the road is made of tarmac, which I was already tired of shaking so much.
We continue along the road, I know where the town is off the top of my head, as we enter it the many shops are still opening, as well as the traffic being as good as ever, a very quiet place, which we stop at where I think John's house is, Mum's second cousin, we even get out of the car and go into the establishment where his family works.
"Still selling those carpets, John?" Mum McLaren said.
"Well, if she didn't turn up at last, then were the winds right about her coming here yesterday?" He's kind of funny with his peculiar accent.
"I wouldn't miss it, especially now that my oldest girl is finally with me" she even pats me on the back.
"Look, little Chariot Du Nord has grown a lot, here in town we heard on the internet about Shiny Chariot, my youngest daughter, 10, really wants to go to her next performance, but we don't know if she'll be able to go, we have no idea where it will be, when there's one here in Dublin, without a doubt I really want to go, or here in Ireland" said Mum's cousin.
"Thank you, I can help her come" I say, scratching the back of my neck.
"So are you up for a return to the old days, a friendly competition between our families, the McLarens against the Murphys?" I can't wait for the gymkhana to return.
"Look, this is really good, I really want it, next Saturday, there'll be my family against yours, now that you don't have any more children in your belly and you have your eldest daughter, it'll be really interesting, you talk about people who are country bumpkins, but full of daughters" I hope so.
"I've only got four, but that's a yes, it'll be really interesting if the other children are older" said my mum.
"Well Greg the eldest is 14, Harold in the middle is 12 and the youngest Emily is 10, let's see what you've brought, last time this tall girl couldn't handle my three children" said John.
"We've got Chariot, Phoebe, Croix and Megan for the children on our side John, apart from the fact that I'm no longer pregnant, apart from my wife, April, Rose, Harry, in short we've got all my people there, I'm sure this town is going to see one of those disputes this year" said my mum.
"I hope so, get ready because it's going to be intense, I'm not going to take it easy cousin, by the way watch out for the wrinkles appearing, soon the 40s will get to you just like they got to me" She even got an angry look on her face.
"I'm a witch, my ageing is slowing down, apart from the fact that it's not my hairline that's going backwards, you'd better treat that before you end up looking like your father, that cap hides it, but I know you have a bigger forehead" She even laughed and we left Mum's cousin Laura's shop, then went for a walk around the town.
Walking around there gives me a nostalgic feeling for when I was a kid, seeing all this movement, very quiet, I remember when I was a kid, the rock music that's playing in some shops, we walk to a square, where my mum Laura climbs to the top of the square's bandstand, using magic.
"Attention! Attention! The gymkhana is back! Get your entries in, get the town ready for the big showdown between the McLarens and the Murphys to start next Saturday, I'm back Dalystown!" She said through a megaphone and the whole town started shouting and clapping in celebration.
I remember well how it was always advertised like that, it makes me feel even more nostalgic, so we walk to another building in the town, this one is where the town hall is, I remember it well, when we get there we see the office of the town's mayor, she even waves to us, I hope she gives us permission to do this gymkhana.
"So can we do this gymkhana?" My mum Laura asked.
"If it's your initiative, go ahead, but if you get a thousand signatures then we can think about it, but I think it's hard to get all that, the city has 3,000 people living there, I think it's hard to get it" said the mayor.
"I'll get it done in no time, by next Saturday you and the town hall will have organised everything, you forgot there's one thing, the presence of the Shiny Chariot here in Dalystown can raise a crowd, just one click from my daughter-in-law and this town will explode with people on Saturday, you've always helped us with the organisation of the event" said my mother.
"Well, without the signatures, no event, simple as that, I'm not going to trust this randomness" said the mayor.
"So just wait, girls, we're going to get everyone's signatures, we're going to make it happen, this year the gymkhana is going to be special, it's not just going to be McLaren against Murphy, this time we're going to do a mega gymkhana, other families are going to turn up to show their faces, may the best one win" said my mum as she left the town hall.
And so we leave the town hall with the petition papers in hand, a very long list, which we're already looking at, apparently we're going to have an activity to do today, since in a fortnight' time there's going to be the big gymkhana, I can't wait to see what this event is going to be like, it's certainly going to be interesting to see.
We get to John's carpet shop, where we gather the various petition papers that are placed on the counter, which could already be the start of a dispute here.
"Next John, as a warm-up competition, how about our children competing to see who can get 500 petitions the fastest, let's get the mayor of this town to do it one way or the other" said my mum and he nodded in agreement.
"So come on kids, I'm going to get all the children to sign, what do I get if I get 500 signatures before you cousin?" I think we're at a disadvantage here.
"A VIP ticket to the next Shiny Chariot performance with everything paid for, travel, meals, everything, so no matter how far away you are, you can take your daughter to see her perform and get a lot more stuff, signed T-shirts, signed photos, VIP access, the best seats, as close to the stage as possible, what do you think?" He shakes hands with my mum, who has negotiated quite a bit.
"You'll see it come out faster than ever, those 500 signatures will come like a rocket, you'll lose this one, if I happen to lose I'll give you some rugs" My mum just waved it off.
"I'd rather you walked down the street in your pants than more rugs than I already have at home, I don't need to become an Aladdin" said my mum as she left the shop.
She had a big smile on her face, as if it was going to be something easy to achieve, apparently we're going to do very well in this, I'm sure it's going to be very different and interesting to see how it unfolds. We then saw the children running out of the shop with their clipboards and sheets of paper in hand to start signing the petition.
"Mum and us? Are we going to lose?" I ask her.
"Let's go to another part of the city, that's the intention, John will get the 500 signatures very quickly, we'll go after the others" said my mum Laura, which I didn't stop to think about.
"That was great, Mrs McLaren, but how are we going to manage the rest?" Croix asks.
"Come with me, we'll go more slowly, then we'll split up, when we've finished we'll meet at John's carpet shop, now let's go!" She said, leading us through the streets of the city.
We went on our way, that's what today's going to be about, the preparation for the gymkhana, I'm really looking forward to seeing how it all turns out, we arrive in another part of the city and with that we separate into various sectors, it's time to go and get signatures, I knock on the first door, which I'm answered by a lady who immediately looks sympathetically at my face.
"Hello, could you sign this petition to make the gymkhana happen?" I ask her.
"Is the gymkhana coming back? Get in the house girl, there are more people to sign up, how many do you need?" She asks.
"We need a thousand, we'll split up around the city to go and collect as many signatures as we can" I say to the lady.
"Oh come here, there are at least eight signatures available that you can do, I'll take advantage of this and announce it to the neighbours" How wonderful.
I go into the house, and when I get there I see that there are a few people there, lots of children, but soon she's signing, and more adults are joining in to sign, so there have already been eight lines in this house alone, very quickly, and I'm really happy to have achieved all this, straight away, the charisma also says it all, I'm sure it was a very important factor in all this.
[...]
We got to John's carpet shop and there he was waiting for us, and we saw everything had been signed, so my mum went to collect all the signatures with a huge smile on her face, this is going to be really good, we've got the signatures, she even smiles at her cousin and shakes his hand.
"We did it, thanks cousin, now the gymkhana is guaranteed, I managed to convince the mayor, you can be sure that the next performance of the Chariot you'll all be travelling very well" It'll probably be here in Dublin, which I'm really looking forward to.
"A deal's a deal, what needs to be done has been done, so let's get ready for it, call the city..." He said until my mum wiggled her fingers.
"It's 2006 John, we have this thing called the internet, how do you think your daughter knows about Shiny Chariot? Leave it to this girl here, plus her traditional way and this town will fill up with people, can you do that Croix?" Now the fun part begins: do I have to appear as Shiny Chariot?
"Of course, I'll announce to everyone about the gymkhana and the presence of the Shiny Chariot, let's see if that doesn't get the town moving enough for this event, let's get the entries in for the time being too, let John do it, we've got a gymkhana in hand that could go down in history" said my girlfriend.
"I know we've come to forget about these things, but Chariot, you could perform again just this once at the gymkhana, a quick performance, at the end of it all, for sure the outside public will come to see Shiny Chariot and I knowAlan won't be bothered by it, his part will be paid later" said my mum Bernadette.
I'm nodding my head and everything to make it an epic gymkhana, my presence after years is going to make it something great just like it is everywhere, I'm so excited for this, I can't wait for this event, a presentation of mine is also going to be very epic, I'm sure everyone will love to see what's going on here. We left John's shop and walked back to the town hall with the papers in hand, which we made a point of
placing right on her desk with all the signatures, shocking the town mayor herself, who hadn't expected anything to happen so quickly.
"Well, here are all the signatures, which means we'll be able to have our gymkhana with the help of the town hall" said my mum.
"Woah, you guys are really fast, well then I authorise it, we'll start making preparations for next Saturday's gymkhana, if it's something important for the town, I just hope it'll bring some movement and some profit" That can be left for someone else to do.
"I can attract a lot more people than there are in this town, that's for sure, we have a card up our sleeve, have you ever thought about having a rising celebrity making their presence felt in your town? Well, you're facing her" said my wife.
"Hmmmm, this Shiny Chariot thing I don't know how far it will go, but as long as it's the wave of the moment, from what I've seen on the internet, it's welcome, if there's going to be a presentation of it here I'll find it interesting to add to this old gymkhana" said the mayor.
"This has been a tradition for decades, this gymkhana has been going on since the 60s, let's not forget one of the most magical things in this city, it's been almost 40 years since the first edition, where my mum Joanne was champion at the time, it was a great moment for the city" said my mum Laura.
"Whatever, these are old traditions of games that bring no profit to this town, you have to adapt to the new times, what brings profit is what works, these wastes of time serve no purpose, it's just a penis measurement done by your families to see who has the biggest dick" This infuriated my mother in a way, but she took a deep breath.
"For a mayor who didn't grow up in Dalystown I'm not surprised, I don't know how they elected you to this post" And this better not end in a fight.
We left the town hall, now it's time to go home, today we've already taken the first step towards the gymkhana, we've been walking around the town, where the registrations have been taking place, and we've already filled in the names of those who are going to take part in the McLaren side of this gymkhana.
Then we went back to the car, it's about half past eleven, got into it and drove home, with me driving, it's always marvellous.
"We did it, I thought it wouldn't be possible this year, but it's good to have one last gymkhana like this as an epic farewell" said my mum Laura.
"Last one?" I ask my mum.
"Unfortunately it's the last one, we can't continue a tradition like this, it would be practically unfeasible, in 2007 I don't know if we'll be able to repeat the feat, but it will depend a lot on what lies ahead, there are many things that can happen, you could end up being chosen by Claiomh Solais, Chariot's career, we have to focus on these things, for sure after this you'll have to focus a lot if you want to succeed, I hope that by next year we can get you on a world tour" I imagined that would be it.
"We also have to deal with Daryl's situation, she could make a move at any moment, I'm very suspicious of my sister wanting to do something terrible to us, she's not going to stop by simply taking Laura away from Diana, she knows we're after a cure, I honestly don't know what's going on in her head and I'm afraid of something very horrible that could happen" Don't even mention her.
"But let's try to keep our heads more relaxed, these tensions around here don't help at all, we have to think about the present and enjoy the moment now" She's right, I even take a deep breath and keep driving.
We arrive at the house, I park the car and we go downstairs to go inside, where Phoebe has finally woken up, she was really grumpy, we go to the sofa and then I see Croix picking up her laptop, something I've hardly seen her pick up this whole trip.
"I didn't want to use it, but let's use it for leverage, a 20-minute thing here and you'll see how much publicity it will get" said my girlfriend.
"You're always great Croix, you manage to be the cleverest at everything, I'm happy to have a girlfriend who's as good at everything as you are" I say to her and she gets a smile on her face.
While she's doing something, I go to Megan's where we start playing, while I watch my mums prepare something to eat, I was already hungry, I can't wait to see what we're going to have for lunch today, I'm sure it's going to be the best food there is.
We switch on Ree, where we go to play a bit of bowling, and it's my grandparents who show up, they also love playing with us, it's always so cute when they get excited like that.
"Then it will be the Chariot people" said my grandmother Joanne.
"Did you know I was the best at bowling in real life?" My grandad said.
"Oh stop lying Mark, you were always losing to me" said my grandmother.
"Oh it's because I'm the best, you're the best, my love, as well as being a journalist, you've got a few amateur bowling trophies" said my grandad.
"Oh good times, that's where I used to hang out with you when we started dating, between races, it was your way of relaxing, who knew that the mysterious and quiet Mark Irvine enjoyed a bowling alley before the race" Family stories I find that very interesting, they must have been very different times indeed.
I'm just listening and playing with Megan, she's even got a Strike, I'm terrified it's going to fly out of my hand, while Croix is fiddling with her laptop doing something, publicising the out of town gymkhana, I really hope the town is full when it arrives on the day, I really hope so, it's going to be a huge hype for the whole thing.
I lose out to Meg, so it's my gran Joanne who takes over, I sit next to Croix, I watch what she's doing and it's video editing, it's amazing how she understands all this stuff, I'm just a bit confused.
"I'm getting a lot done here, there's going to be a marvellous video, I'm sure they'll be interested in more than just you, at least that's what I hope, since this is going to be a good part of the gymkhana, but hey, don't force yourself into an hour-long presentation, ten minutes is enough" I shake my head.
"I don't intend to do much, it'll serve as a rehearsal for when I do the presentation at the start of my tour" I tell her.
"That's right, that's how I hope to see it, well, take care Chariot, after I've finished here we'll play for a while and then we'll eat and have a bite to eat, I want to have fun with you in the afternoon, we'll go with Meg and Phoebe to do something outside" That'll be a lot of fun to do.
"Of course, at least the little sulky girl over there will have some fun, I'm sure she'll be just as excited as she was yesterday" I say laughing.
"Hey I can hear you, for your information I'm just sleepy, I woke up almost just now, you two who were making noise last night and disturbing everyone's sleep, next time use magic and inhibit the sound from passing to other rooms, mine is in front of you" We even laughed a bit.
And I'm helping Croix a bit, she shows the video as it is and wow, it's marvellous, perfect for spreading the word, what she posts on social media, I'm already expecting it to blow up in a marvellous way, I can't wait for this gymkhana, I can't stop thinking and having memories, the sack race, the activities by the lake, it was all so magical and wonderful.
"Well those were the preparations for what's going to be the gymkhana, it's my favourite part when I go toDalystown, I hope that one day it can really come back, because my mother Laura was right in saying,that was the last one, then there was never again, but one day it can come back, even if we're all a lotolder, your sisters and you, But it would be interesting, even putting some girls from Luna Nova there, infact you'll have an extra family by putting Akko in the middle, I don't doubt that one day you and she willbe together, apart from Hellene who will one day end up here in Luna Nova too as soon as the first yearstarts, you'll love getting to know each other."
See you, preparation witches...